What should be touched on in a "Why I want to be an officer" essay?

2018-08-19T01:31:12-04:00

I'm currently working on putting my packet together for OCS and I'm writing my essay on why I want to be an officer. I've spoken with my recruiter about it, but I'd just like to get some other opinions and hear about others experience regarding what should be touched on for the essay. I know that my essay and reasons will be specific to me, but I'm just interested if there's particular questions, topics, etc. that I should be covering.

Update: Obviously, this is supposed to cover why I, personally, want to be an officer and all that -- I know that. I'm used to writing essays for college or job proposals for work and you have an overarching objective for the paper, but there are also specific questions or points that are supposed to be discussed and that is what I was trying to ask about. I've written my essay so I'll post that later today for feedback before I bring it to my recruiter.

Update: Here is what I have so far for my essay. I appreciate any comments or help, thanks!

I have always admired the men and women that serve whether that is with the military or in a public service such as the police, firefighters, etc. When I was growing up, I poured over books, movies, tv shows, and news articles that chronicled the exploits of those that served, and I wanted nothing more than to be exactly like that – stand in the face of danger and still do what needed to be done in order to protect my values, country, and loved ones.

I had considered joining the military upon graduation from high school, but I wasn’t sure that I was up to the task of fulfilling and surpassing the expectations that I had come to equate with the military, so I chose to pursue my bachelor’s. I pushed through to get my degree, but it became clear towards my last year that academia and office work weren’t enough to satisfy me, and I again reconsidered the military. I was currently seeing someone that is in the US Army, so I had already been exposed to the enlisted side and I ending up moving to Colorado when he moved to Fort Carson. He helped convince me to finally pursue what I truly wanted to do and join the US Army.

I want to serve with honor and dignity and I will do whatever it takes to join the US Army even if I am unable to join as an officer at this time. I’ve heard several accounts from soldiers about life with good officers and with bad officers as well. I want to become a shining example of what it means to be a great officer: To embody honor, loyalty, respect, duty, and selfless service. While I am certainly not fresh out of college and I have experience in the workforce and life which will certainly be incredibly useful in managing efficiencies and aiding my soldiers; I know that I am extremely inexperienced and incredibly novice when it comes to the Army and I will need to rely on my senior NCOs in order to become the best officer that I can be.

To me, being a leader does not mean ordering soldiers about while I sit in an office lounging – it means working alongside my soldiers to raise us all up as a team. We either succeed together or not at all – leadership can make or break a team and without good leadership, things will crumble, and nothing will get done nor will anyone be satisfied with their job.

In conclusion, I have valuable real-life experience that I can utilize to serve the Army and help my soldiers improve, but I am well aware of my lack of knowledge in relation to the military life and will work closely with my senior NCOs to ensure our team is the best we can be. We will exemplify the values the Army lives by and make everyone proud to be a part of the US Army and an American. I will do whatever is necessary to show that I am up to the job and continue to improve my skills and knowledge so that I can serve the Army to the best of my ability. I didn’t want to join unless I was absolutely certain that I could exceed the expectations that others had and that I had set for myself because I wanted to make my team proud and do the job justice. I am confident that I will be an asset to the Army and it would be an honor and a privilege to be called an officer with the United States Army.

Response by Sgt Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 19 at 2018 4:15 AM

2018-08-19T04:15:14-04:00

SPC Kaitlyn Adair Below is one discussion dealing with this topic. If you enter "Why I want to be an officer" in the search bar, and then click on "Answers", it will bring up additional discussions. I have also included another link that might help.

I would sit down and carefully think about the reasons why you want to be an officer, and write them down. Being an effective leader has to be on this list. This list can then be used to write your first draft of your essay. Once you are satisfied with your essay, post it on RallyPoint and ask for members to critique your essay. Good luck.

https://www.part-time-commander.com/the-army-commissioned-officers-creed-my-thoughts-and-analysis/

https://www.rallypoint.com/answers/how-would-you-critique-my-updated-essay-entitled-why-i-want-to-be-an-officer

The Army Commissioned Officer's Creed: My Thoughts and Analysis - Citizen Soldier Resource Center...

I spent about 12 years as an Army Officer and during that time not once did I ever hear of an Officer’s creed. I have scoured the internet high and low and this is the only thing that I haveContinue reading... The Army Commissioned Officer’s Creed: My Thoughts and Analysis

Response by CPT Andrew Wright made Aug 19 at 2018 4:39 AM

2018-08-19T04:39:19-04:00

First thing on the list: You want to be a leader. Best of Luck!

Response by Capt Daniel Goodman made Aug 19 at 2018 7:40 AM

2018-08-19T07:40:03-04:00

You know, I could write you a veritable encyclopedia about what you could say...I could tell you everything that happened to me, how I actually went in, why, all about my family, yada, yada, yada...here's the thing...I knew a lot of others in Army ROTC and USAF OTS after, as I'd switched, who'd been enlisted first, many who interserviced at USAF OTS, one guy even had Navy enlisted dolphins...I've been all over that whole topic for so lon now, I can't even remember not having wanted that whole world...I did, my next younger brother did, our Dad did, my uncle was a radio operator for Gen Eisenhower, my wies Dad got a Bronze Star as a 1st Lt charging a minefield in WW2 France going into Germany, her stepdad was Navy Pacific in WW2 and Korea in combat in both wars, I never got to go to Gulf War One, I was on the list, I was ill, I'm total perm disabled now...I was engineering, physics, math, docyoal level allied health, though we shut my license off several years ago due t total perm disability...now, here's the thing, I could rant further, and that still wouldn't have answered your question...as with many who send in career/education questions on here, to answer you properly, of need a much more detailed biosketch, high school with grades and AP coursework if any, associates, bachelors, masters, doctoral ambitions, what field you'd want, what services your glooked at, your goals, ambitions, objectives, family history in the services if any that might have contributed to your wish to be involved with it...you can't focus on one service...it isn't what you want...it's about who wants you, and what you hope to get out of it, however, your willingness t subordinate your ambitions to excel wherever pure assigned, irrespective of your personal preferences...no recruiter I ever death with ever had a quota, many tried to erect me properly, the problem was, I was totally and completely clueless, and had zero idea what I was doing, or how to function well in the role, zero, zip, goose egg, nada...so, that being said, to compose an essay of that sort, which I had to do many times, the principal guide is to, first, not write I at all...first, one just jots notes, outlines ideas, sets them down on paper, so there visible to your mind...arranging those thoughts is later, after you have your base content...writing an essay of that type, first, it should he done as a formal business letter, to the commander of whichever officer recruiting program or programs you deal with...for example, I'm assuming out want Army, however, you give no info as to why, for what, or what you expect is involved...there's something more you need to understand...the services, your friends, family, all, can tell you all the things that are supposed to go right...however, none of them can tell you what can g wrong...that:s not intended t dissuade you, my object is to try to educate you...there are certain life changing events, getting married, getting my doctorate, however, all pale before puttng our hand up, which I did twice, utterly terrified both times...I wound up, largely due to my own benighted ignorance and incompetence, in totally the wrong place, working for the wrong people, for all the wrong reasons, totally losing sight of the object of why I'd gone to alp the trouble in the first place, and forgetting that my wishes ultimately meant nothing, less than zero...whichever service you might join, you join as q public servant, no different than an elected official, held to even higher dtandards...your career, and what you make of it, depends entirely on you, and is not the responsibility of a service...oud be there to serve, not be served...if your wishes comport with the objects of those over you, you might, and I emphasize, might, be able to achieve your work goals, career goals, etc., however, you are definitely last on the list of who a service is there to satisfy, as I had to learn, all too frequently in the hardest fashion possible, often by qiie literally having my head practually pounded into pavement to get it through my often all too frequently thick skull...so, to reiterate, to answer you the right way, I, as well as others here, would need t know far more about your background, interests, wishes, motivations, objectives, preferences, and history...an essay of that sort often composes itself, based on one's own background, you substance makes for the essay...are you in school? Have you n3en working? What type, level, and responsibility of work? There were Amy night I didn't leave my office where I was assigned till thr3e or four AM, only to be screamed at the next day, and told I was a manifest incompetent...in that world, you're done when you're done and until then, you're not done...your life is your own, only when and if your work is finished, and until it is, your life isn't your own...I had many additional duties, being assigned to look into a car accident by a junior airman, having to go on long, grueling, generally exhausting trips dealing with really high people, on really consequential things...I had to learn how to keep a diary t organize my time, and my tasks...I had to try to get my first !asters, which you WILL be expected to do, regardless of service, as well as do professional military education (PME), which the services are REAl serious about...do you know much of the cultural norms of military society? Have you been around it? Have you seen it? All that factors into such an essay, not just what you want as a 'job"...our "job" if you go in, enlisted, warrant, or commissioned, is the service and your unit, to further its goals and functions, not to serve your own ends, period, end of story, case closed....I once sat with my unit CO for a solid hour, an O-6 who'd been chosen to pin on O-7, the single most impressive human I ever met, a Vietnam War hero who'd received the DFC for flying 150 combat missions as a forward air controller (FAC) in an O-2 armored Piper Cub, who proceeded to rip me a new one, as he probed why I'd gone in to begin with, I told him it was to improve myself, he'd given me a plaque that morning unexpectedly for helping with an IG inspection, getting good unit rating.,.that was after I'd totally screwed up the prior week, he left me a limp dishrag after I'd walked out of the conference room where I'd sat with him...I've !et two Apollo astronauts, many colonels and generals, and bollixed up more than one human should be allowed to bollix up in a single lifetime, to the point where I've white frankly lost count of the number of times I did...so if I tell you all those things, it's to try to make you understand precisely what your be getting yourself into...in the next USAF OTS classafter the one I was in, another OT who'd been prior enlisted, I'd read awhile ago, finished as a full general...he !Ade zero mistakes...none...however, he was properly prepared, I was not...so, all that being said, if I can help you more to compose such an essay I will, certainly, by all means...however, it was important that, being as you'd asked the question, frankly, that I thought you deserved an equally frank answer...I'm all for your doing it, if you seriously want it, just understand, your life will be forever altered, and all too frequently in ways you can't expect, anticipate, hangs, or correct, if things go wrong...in the services, events have a way of taking on a life of their own, totally outside of your ability to control them, despite your nest efforts, or nest intentions, and I'm quite certain you know the old adage of where the road paved with good intentions often leads, no !after how well meaning one is to start...so, explain more, elaborate so far as you can, on all the facets I've mentioned, so far as you would wish, and I'll try to help you organize your thoughts as coherently as I'd be able to, I'm sure others here would also do likewise...incidentally, when I'd been at USAF OTS, my first flight commander, as I'd gone through the program twice, all too frequently tore all I'd written apart, telling me to constantly rewrite it, over and over again...ime and Tyne again, I was taught to write, letters, briefings, reports, how to contribute to my own performance reports, you would also, to relate all you'd done in a given period, I assure you...I needed a really, really long time to even remotely learn how to compose a sentence, and it was still constantly edited, and recited, by section chiefs, branh chiefs, division chiefs, I couldn't even send a liter out without Tyree separate signatures, I practically wore out a word processor learning to do it right, over and over and over again, till I was cross eyed from it in the process...so, trust me, writing such an essay right will NOT be simp!e task, I had to write to USAF OTS selection after getting turned down the first ime, God knows how or why they ultimately approved me...I hope, of nothing else, that at least has all been of some use to you, I'd be most eager to hear more, whenever you might care to send anything further...very, very thought provoking question on your part, my compliments on your perceptiveness in asking it, and in phrasing it as you did....

Response by LTC John Shaw made Aug 19 at 2018 8:50 AM

2018-08-19T08:50:49-04:00

SPC Kaitlyn Adair Your time should be on the why and it should involve to some degree inculcating the the army values. This is the chance to tell your story, your background and motivations. God Speed!

Response by Capt Daniel Goodman made Aug 19 at 2018 9:45 AM

2018-08-19T09:45:52-04:00

Sorry typo the recruiters tried to all sdvidr me properly doyy for the clumsy tablet krybosrf smd abysmal spell check....

Response by Capt Daniel Goodman made Aug 19 at 2018 9:47 AM

2018-08-19T09:47:16-04:00

Sorry again, advise...I detest this tablet keyboard....

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 19 at 2018 10:58 AM

2018-08-19T10:58:19-04:00

Hello . I have an essay that I wrote when I wanted to put my package. My commander read it and thought it was good. I can send it to you .

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 19 at 2018 2:40 PM

2018-08-19T14:40:11-04:00

You need to cover the “why” and provide both a short term and long term goal related to your projected career as an officer. That is, where do you see yourself in five years and ten years.

Response by CPT Jack Durish made Aug 19 at 2018 9:25 PM

2018-08-19T21:25:49-04:00

Thank God they didn't have this requirement when I applied for OCS. I wouldn't have had a clue of what to write and I don't think they would have appreciated an honest response. I simply couldn't see myself as anything other than as a commissioned officer. However, looking through the lens of hindsight, I can only say that I would focus on the subject of responsibility. That to me is the primary duty of a commissioned officer. To be responsible, to take responsibility. Sure, there is more. Leading. Teaching. Making decisions. But no one who is not willing to take responsibility for outcomes should be allowed to lead, to teach, to make decisions, especially the tough decisions. The life and death decisions. I was that person. I am proud to have served with other officers who were the same. And sadly, I am embarrassed to have served with those who passed the buck.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Aug 20 at 2018 7:59 PM

2018-08-20T19:59:27-04:00

-I talked about the importance of the military to the nation.
-Being a military leader.
-Being an good example and being a pillar of the community.

Response by LTC Orlando Illi made Dec 21 at 2018 4:22 PM

2018-12-21T16:22:40-05:00

Being an Officer is being last in the chow line, first one awake, last to sleep after you checked on your troops, last to go on leave, first to return from leave .... if this doesn't resonate with you than frankly you have no business applying for OCS. I will be inducted into the Army OCS Hall of Fame in May 2019. The one piece of advice I received when I was a 2LT from the Brigade CSM was "...Respect is earned. If you have to tell someone you are an Officer - you're not..."

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 25 at 2018 4:46 AM

2018-12-25T04:46:53-05:00

It's quite difficult to figure out what to say in a thousand words huh? I just wrote mine a few months ago. I talked about who I am and the events that occurred to make me who I am. Explain who you are, where you're from, your origin story and why is it that you want to be an officer. Understand the sacrifices you make as an officer. It's not about the nice uniform and the better pay. I want to make an impact and be a positive influence on more soldier's lives and the mission. I see myself as a big picture thinker. I just wanted to give you a bit of an idea. lmk if you'd like to look at my essay.

Response by Thomas O'Hear made Jan 13 at 2019 7:12 PM

2019-01-13T19:12:34-05:00

How did they like your essay, was it much different from what you have updated above?

Response by 2LT Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 19 at 2020 6:38 PM

2020-06-19T18:38:38-04:00

Explain the reasons behind making that decision, your past experiences and a little bit of your background... make them feel interested in your essay with wow factors if you have any from past experiences.

Response by A1C Medrick "Rick" DeVaney made Sep 13 at 2022 11:33 AM

2022-09-13T11:33:41-04:00

How About Punctuation?

Eventually Someone Will Have To Read Your Essay,
So Give'm A Chance!

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Sep 13 at 2022 12:34 PM

2022-09-13T12:34:26-04:00

- Too long. You will have to write the essay in the local board unless the army changed that requirement, so I suggest a one page essay. Delete what is not necessary and streamline it.
- Too much fluff. Find three or four strong bullets to build your paragraphs with. They could be for example:

+ I want to be an army officer because my leadership will provide.............
+ I believe in the mission of the army, to deter war with strength and win wars through realistic training and sound leadership.
+ I appreiated the culture of the army due to the values, standards, expectations, personal and professional development.
+ Taking care of soldiers is important to me because....................
+ I can inspire the unit by rolling up my sleeve and getting my hands dirty...........
+ I will train the unit in the essential tasks...........

I am willing to work with you on the essay.

Response by Lt Col Scott Shuttleworth made Sep 14 at 2022 4:52 PM

2022-09-14T16:52:25-04:00

1. Correct spelling and grammar. First issue they will throw it out. 2. Focus on how you want to lead others coupled with mission accomplishment. 3. Talk about leadership challenges you have encountered and how you handled them. 4. DO NOT talk about better pay, or recognition or stuff like that. 5. Focus on how this will be a benefit to the Army and you and that it would be a win win to have you in the officer corps.

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2024-04-14T22:35:42-04:00

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