11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds. What have you heard?

2015-04-24T01:17:43-04:00

I found this humorous but a lot of truth in it as well. The list does not stop at 11, what is some of the funniest things you've heard?

http://www.businessinsider.com/11-things-first-sergeants-say-that-make-troops-lose-their-minds-2015-4?IR=T

11 things first sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

First sergeants have to talk a lot.

Response by SFC Joe S. Davis Jr., MSM, DSL made Apr 24 at 2015 5:10 AM

2015-04-24T05:10:14-04:00

Who did it?

Response by SSG (ret) William Martin made Apr 24 at 2015 5:22 AM

2015-04-24T05:22:07-04:00

One I have heard since meeting a Drill Sergeant when I was a recruit was "This man's Army" and the man who they were relating to was the President I believe.

Another one I have heard many 1SGs say is "Dog gone" this and that.

"Give me three dog gone bodies yesterday"

"My dog gone barracks are jacked up"

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 24 at 2015 5:35 AM

2015-04-24T05:35:37-04:00

I could say a few things but I don't want to start a war between the O's and the E's.

Response by SFC Stephen King made Apr 24 at 2015 5:36 AM

2015-04-24T05:36:44-04:00

Great list and so true. I have a tendency to use behooves.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 24 at 2015 6:06 AM

2015-04-24T06:06:18-04:00

"Standby to standby." Translation: Some unknown-to-you event is supposed to happen sometime in the next 1-to-20 hours, so sit here and don't go anywhere or start doing anything productive because we'll have at least 3 false-alarms before we finally get word that the unknown event has been cancelled.

Response by MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca made Apr 24 at 2015 6:14 AM

2015-04-24T06:14:52-04:00

"But, you have to take your APFT" generally tops the list.

"if it ain't raining, we ain't training"

"O-dark thirty"

Response by MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca made Apr 24 at 2015 6:19 AM

2015-04-24T06:19:39-04:00

"You need to police..." often followed by:
the brass
the butts
yourself
your buddy

Response by Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS made Apr 24 at 2015 7:14 AM

2015-04-24T07:14:47-04:00

"That's not what the supernut is for!"

- No one is really sure what the supernumerary on the Duty list is for, but apparently the 1stSgt has a master list of what he isn't for.

Response by CPT Aaron Kletzing made Apr 24 at 2015 8:03 AM

2015-04-24T08:03:09-04:00

I had a 1SG who used to say this all the time -- "That's more F'd up than a football bat."

Response by SPC Christian Ziegler made Apr 24 at 2015 8:12 AM

2015-04-24T08:12:12-04:00

I had a few great First Sergeants, I remember one called us "Hero's" or "MOPP 5 in full effect if you Hero's go out tonight," "you better put a rain coat on it" "where is my damn CQ" "Holy sh*t Private how F-ing dumb can you get, did you parents have any children that lived, Get Out of my Office." followed by " SPC _________ get in my office and get into front leaning rest now you sh*t stick, why did you send Private _________ in here" you guys get the idea but it was always the same and Top laughed his ass off once the door was closed.

Response by 1LT William Clardy made Apr 24 at 2015 8:17 AM

2015-04-24T08:17:00-04:00

At a platoon sergeants meeting in the first sergeant's office:

First Sergeant: "... And this should be your top priority today."
First Sergeant: "... This will be your top priority today."
First Sergeant: "... This is our top priority today."
Platoon Sergeant: "Which is our Number One Top Priority for today?"
First Sergeant: "They all are."

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 24 at 2015 8:37 AM

2015-04-24T08:37:02-04:00

"I will stomp a mud hole in your ass and walk in dry if you don't fix yourself"

Response by Capt Richard I P. made Apr 24 at 2015 8:42 AM

2015-04-24T08:42:54-04:00

Yep. The worst is when people try to use words in the wrong context or with the wrong pronunciation. In Public.

Response by CW5 Jim Steddum made Apr 24 at 2015 8:55 AM

2015-04-24T08:55:32-04:00

1SG Rap : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NMo_phOLkM

First Sergeant Rap ( I'm the 1SG)

We all know what they say, and think..time to put it into art www.armywtfmoments.com www.militaryfail.net www.facebook.com/usawtfma

Response by SGT Richard H. made Apr 24 at 2015 9:06 AM

2015-04-24T09:06:51-04:00

He missed a part on #7. "Hooah" is both a question and an answer.

"We got a lot of moving parts here, so let's not get wrapped around the axle, Hooah?"

"Hooah, First Sergeant!"

Response by 1SG Scott MacGregor made Apr 24 at 2015 9:37 AM

2015-04-24T09:37:16-04:00

If you begin any sentence with the phrase or any variation of "I thought" you are about to step in it.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 24 at 2015 10:03 AM

2015-04-24T10:03:04-04:00

This was a GREAT post! Made me laugh. I needed it this Friday! Thank you for sharing CSM Michael J. Uhlig

Now I ask, how many of the 11 do you say? Do you have any special sayings?

Response by SGM Erik Marquez made Apr 24 at 2015 10:08 AM

2015-04-24T10:08:58-04:00

I really don't understand this thread.. Im quite sure no sentence I ever uttered as a 1SG was ever received by my Soldiers as anything other than lovingly welcome, professional and well timed , articulate and sucent guidance that helped them achieve greatness as a team.

Thats my story and I'm sticking to it.

Response by PO3 Steven Sherrill made Apr 24 at 2015 10:14 AM

2015-04-24T10:14:59-04:00

When there is no work left to be done, and everything has been cleaned: "Field Day the workcenter/passageway/ladderwell/etc..."

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 24 at 2015 11:09 AM

2015-04-24T11:09:42-04:00

"Do what you rank can afford." Or the same meaning "Be daring...Fart as loud as your anus can handle"

Response by CMSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 24 at 2015 11:42 AM

2015-04-24T11:42:36-04:00

"Watch this....." ((walks away with purpose))
:)

Response by MSG Brad Sand made Apr 24 at 2015 11:48 AM

2015-04-24T11:48:25-04:00

What part of 'No' don't you understand?

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 24 at 2015 1:51 PM

2015-04-24T13:51:43-04:00

" I tell you what..." followed closely by "those guys are gonna be in a world of hurt if they don't..."

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 24 at 2015 2:34 PM

2015-04-24T14:34:35-04:00

"It is what it is."

Response by GySgt Wayne A. Ekblad made Apr 24 at 2015 2:35 PM

2015-04-24T14:35:56-04:00

"Hero" / "Heroes" as used by every Tom, Dick, and Harry who doesn't wear a uniform to describe every Tom, Dick, and Harry that does. Actually, not as badly used now as it was there for a few years.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 24 at 2015 2:36 PM

2015-04-24T14:36:31-04:00

Hooah

Response by PO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 24 at 2015 2:37 PM

2015-04-24T14:37:50-04:00

"Shipmate"

Response by LTC John Shaw made Apr 24 at 2015 2:40 PM

2015-04-24T14:40:58-04:00

'Your a smart guy' sounds like a compliment but it is typically used as a snide backhanded critic. Usually a boss not in your chain who wants to point out a flaw in your logic or something THEY want you to do, but is not actually part of your responsibility.

Response by SFC Mark Merino made Apr 24 at 2015 2:53 PM

2015-04-24T14:53:59-04:00

Ate up, soup sandwich, squared away, hooah.

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 24 at 2015 2:56 PM

2015-04-24T14:56:15-04:00

"I just want to piggyback on what [previous speaker] just said." Every commander's call or meeting.

Response by LTC John Shaw made Apr 24 at 2015 2:59 PM

2015-04-24T14:59:46-04:00

'Soup sandwich'

I actually like this one, except for when I was younger and it was applied to me...

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 24 at 2015 4:27 PM

2015-04-24T16:27:18-04:00

While I was in basic our First Sergeant came in the barracks and asked who loved art, several trainees raised their hands, he then asked how many of you like to dance, several trainees raised their hands. They left with the First Sergeant and didn't return until dark. The art lovers had painted barracks all day, and the dancers "waltzed" a mop around in all the mess halls. First thing my dad told me," Don't volunteer for anything". First time I ever listened to him.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 24 at 2015 4:29 PM

2015-04-24T16:29:18-04:00

Sergeant Bodine, " Where the hell you been all day "?

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 24 at 2015 4:34 PM

2015-04-24T16:34:11-04:00

They use air guns now, it doesn't hurt as much as a needle.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 24 at 2015 4:38 PM

2015-04-24T16:38:51-04:00

First night at my AO in Vietnam, first sergeant comes in drunk and started kicking me asking, "Where the hell are my boots you SOB". I was asleep. I jumped up and said, " They're on your feet First Sargeant. True story.

Response by SSG Kenneth Lanning made Apr 24 at 2015 4:42 PM

2015-04-24T16:42:15-04:00

"Formation in 10 minutes!"...45 minutes later, as we all memorize the backs of each others' heads in formation wondering where top and the commander are...

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 24 at 2015 4:52 PM

2015-04-24T16:52:31-04:00

Hands down, without a question it would have to be 'battle buddy.' There is no other phrase I've heard since I have been in the Army that makes me feel like a joke. It became a big problem when my civilian friends heard the phrase used and wouldn't let me hear the end of it. Ever since I heard that phrase, it made me feel as if I wasn't in the Army, more like a boy scout or something.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 24 at 2015 4:53 PM

2015-04-24T16:53:16-04:00

Wasn't me "correcting" the 1SG, but it was one of the few conversations that has had a lasting impact on me. Was able to learn about the "lozenge" and "trucks." Admittedly, I didn't exactly understand it when I heard it at first.

1SG: Do you see these diamonds on my collars?!

SPC: That's a lozenge first sergeant...

1SG: Bullshit! It's only a god damned lozenge when some knucklehead says there are hundreds of trucks on post!

Response by SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 24 at 2015 5:02 PM

2015-04-24T17:02:33-04:00

Hurry Up and Wait....ahhhh gawd, can't stand that one.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 24 at 2015 5:25 PM

2015-04-24T17:25:20-04:00

You TRACKING.....

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 24 at 2015 5:28 PM

2015-04-24T17:28:48-04:00

COB formation TOP would walk out and look at the formation as if we were crazy. then say 1630 ain't no God Damn magic number. Get back to work!

Response by SFC Charles S. made Apr 24 at 2015 5:36 PM

2015-04-24T17:36:55-04:00

We used to have a 1SG that would say just before a detail begins...If it grows cut it, if it doesn't move paint it, if it does move, salute it, pick it up, or park it somewhere else. 1. 2. 3. and Go.

Response by CPO Emmett (Bud) Carpenter made Apr 24 at 2015 8:42 PM

2015-04-24T20:42:24-04:00

Be there and be square

Response by Sgt Adam Jennings made Apr 24 at 2015 8:55 PM

2015-04-24T20:55:02-04:00

NCO's and junior enlisted shouldn't be hanging out together because of fraternization (which is actually between enlisted and officers)!

Junior enlisted member gets DUI and NCO's get chewed out and told they should have been there to make sure that it didn't happen.

So confusing???

I mean, do I fraternize and risk a butt chewing but keep my juniors out of trouble, or not fraternize and get a butt chewing anyway because my junior enlisted got into trouble because I wasn't there? Which one First Sgt?

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 24 at 2015 10:46 PM

2015-04-24T22:46:44-04:00

Get over here raggedy

Sir, could you ask the LTC "WTF" for real it is an officer thing right, just treat him like he's your daddy and you need the vet for a date.

Response by 1LT William Clardy made Apr 25 at 2015 12:04 AM

2015-04-25T00:04:17-04:00

A civilian flavor of the same issue:

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/12-misused-words-even-smart-people-cant-resist-jeff-haden?trk=eml-b2_content_ecosystem_digest-recommended_articles-165-null

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 25 at 2015 12:08 AM

2015-04-25T00:08:22-04:00

"If you ever call me TOP again, I'm going to kick your ass!"

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 25 at 2015 11:48 AM

2015-04-25T11:48:41-04:00

1)"Hooah!“ *silence *"I SAID HOOAH!!"
2) "Y'all better be here 15 minutes 'til 15 minutes prior."
3) "Hey...somebody get on the horn with..."
4) "Platoon Sergeants, where's all your bodies?"

Response by GySgt Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 26 at 2015 1:30 AM

2015-04-26T01:30:25-04:00

Telling Marines to police call outside the wire on deployment. That was a good one....

Response by PFC Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 26 at 2015 8:53 AM

2015-04-26T08:53:33-04:00

Caveat. "Soldiers, let me caveat that by saying..."

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 26 at 2015 9:17 AM

2015-04-26T09:17:11-04:00

Embrace the Suck...

Response by MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca made Apr 26 at 2015 11:30 AM

2015-04-26T11:30:09-04:00

Like a monkey f--king a football

Response by MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca made Apr 26 at 2015 11:32 AM

2015-04-26T11:32:27-04:00

Like nailing jell-o to the wall

Response by SrA Kelly Richard made Apr 26 at 2015 1:01 PM

2015-04-26T13:01:58-04:00

"WHO WANTS AN OPPORTUNITY TO EXCEL!?"

You know you're about to be "voluntold" since the FNG raised his hand last week!

Response by SrA Kelly Richard made Apr 26 at 2015 1:25 PM

2015-04-26T13:25:02-04:00

"Hey there, high speed! You need to go unf**k yourself!" never said to me, but the Marines seemed pretty fond of those two!

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Apr 26 at 2015 4:31 PM

2015-04-26T16:31:31-04:00

Urinalysis time! So I get picked for a 10% 3 times in a row with the probability of that happening is 1 out 1000. What's worse is they used a UA who was a E-4 (P), so we had to do it all over again with a NCO UA. I was mad at the world for a few minutes.

Response by COL Mikel J. Burroughs made Apr 26 at 2015 4:36 PM

2015-04-26T16:36:10-04:00

Here's another one you can add to the list. The one prominent thing I remember to this day that came from my very first First Sergeant's mouth was, "Horse collar, you eye balling me?" That was in Fort Ord, CA November 1975. For the remainder of my tour from Private to Specialist my name was "Horse Collar!"

Response by SPC Angel Guma made Apr 26 at 2015 6:27 PM

2015-04-26T18:27:23-04:00

Our 1sgt in Afghanistan was beloved by all the troops. I often found he played the same 'stand by' game and then nothing happened. The difference though, when it came from him, people took it without griping. When someone else did it that they didn't like, they complained.

Response by SSgt Randy Saulsberry made Apr 27 at 2015 2:16 AM

2015-04-27T02:16:03-04:00

"Secure that happiness Marines"

Response by SSG John Erny made Apr 27 at 2015 10:33 AM

2015-04-27T10:33:04-04:00

1SG Happeny, he never said much, but you could tell when he was very angry, he could give a look that would put fear in anyone.

Response by PO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 29 at 2015 5:20 PM

2015-04-29T17:20:40-04:00

I'd keep a few the straws off the juice boxes we'd get in Iraq, and when the troops would complain, I'd fish one out, toss it to the loudest complainer, and wait for them to give me that dumb look, "WTF is this?!"

"That, knuckleshuffler, is a straw. Open it up, and SUCK IT THE F*&K UP!!"

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 29 at 2015 6:17 PM

2015-04-29T18:17:03-04:00

In most condencending tone possible "a'ight sergeant, I got you, I got you" ...with every disagreement.

Response by Cpl Karl Gleason made Apr 29 at 2015 8:39 PM

2015-04-29T20:39:39-04:00

If you drink don't drive if you drive don't drink. If you have sex with an unfamiliar sex partner use a condom.

Response by SPC John Levine made Apr 30 at 2015 12:02 AM

2015-04-30T00:02:07-04:00

My First Sergeant always droned on and on and would finally say he's letting us go home early. (45 minutes after our usual COB)

Response by SSG Paul Setterholm made May 9 at 2015 8:12 PM

2015-05-09T20:12:43-04:00

"Hey you!" Detail. You happen to be walking by and he grabs you for a work detail. That drove me nuts.
1sg showing up to the mess hall on Christmas Day telling us we had to "dress appropriate for dinner" (no sweats or t-shirts)

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made May 11 at 2015 8:54 AM

2015-05-11T08:54:11-04:00

(Brigade)
"We will be going home early."

(Deployment)
"The mission will be quick."

Response by SSG Paul Setterholm made May 11 at 2015 8:24 PM

2015-05-11T20:24:46-04:00

Funny sayings not necessarily from a 1sg
1. Out-fucking-standing! Put the f word in middle of any word you wish to emphasize.
2. He's been in the army since Christ was a corporal.
3. It's beer-30.
4. Get your head out of your 4th point of contact.
5. There are few things a soldier has in this mans army, his foot locker is one and your sitting on mine.
6. Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one and they all stink!
7. If you don't feed me,pay me, or fuck me... I don't care what you have to say.

Response by SSG Paul Setterholm made May 11 at 2015 8:38 PM

2015-05-11T20:38:26-04:00

8. Time to shit,shower,shave (shower in garrison)
9. You need to wash you goat smelling ass. (Shower in the field)
10. Any of you lame, lazy, or crazy. (Sick call)
11. Can I read your F.M. (Not referring to a field manual)
12. What the fuck,over?
13. Are you going to eat that track pad? ( M.R.E. Cookie)
14. 1 big horse fart (explosion)
15. Fart sack (sleeping bag) hooch (make shift tent)

Response by SPC Gregory Hall made May 20 at 2015 1:41 AM

2015-05-20T01:41:33-04:00

I had a First Sergeant who insisted on starting every sentence with "What it is is"...

Response by 1SG Jason Smith made May 27 at 2015 5:57 PM

2015-05-27T17:57:23-04:00

My Favorite was Dont call me TOP...Im not a child's toy that spins on its head....Common sense has gone AWOL and this They character everyone keeps talking about better be in my office at 1700

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 15 at 2015 11:00 AM

2015-12-15T11:00:17-05:00

any kind o safety brief if read off a note card or piece of paper. Guys reading classes off of powerpoint bullet point by bullet point.

Response by 1SG Bill Farmerie made Feb 17 at 2017 4:40 PM

2017-02-17T16:40:09-05:00

How about "it doesn't rain in the Army, it rains ON the Army"

Response by PFC Robert Rice made Oct 10 at 2017 1:42 PM

2017-10-10T13:42:29-04:00

I know that most if not all soldiers have heard their First Sergeants tell them during a last formation briefing not to have sex with underage girls. Must check I.D. before engaging in that activity.

Response by SGT Mark Halmrast made Oct 10 at 2017 11:32 PM

2017-10-10T23:32:50-04:00

"Listen up, men. Today is the company Christmas party. You will go, and you will have fun."

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 23 at 2018 10:09 AM

2018-01-23T10:09:35-05:00

Not that I would ever fall into the trap of using idiom to make a point, but when I say "come see me later", you are screwed.
If the commander needs to see you, it might be good news.
If the First Sergeant needs to see you, it is NEVER good news.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made May 10 at 2018 3:43 AM

2018-05-10T03:43:24-04:00

FRAGO... followed by formation in the company AO...

Response by SSG Robert Perrotto made May 10 at 2018 4:32 AM

2018-05-10T04:32:38-04:00

"this is MY company" - Um - no - its not 1SG - it's the United States governments company.

Response by SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth made May 10 at 2018 7:28 AM

2018-05-10T07:28:20-04:00

Great share, thank you.

Response by 1SG Dave Hodgeboom made May 10 at 2018 11:08 AM

2018-05-10T11:08:44-04:00

If I ever catch that guy named "They".

Response by 1stSgt Jeff Blovat made Mar 28 at 2019 9:41 PM

2019-03-28T21:41:57-04:00

As a first sgt., I would say, “pair up in groups of three, line up alphabetically by height and don’t dare chew with your mouth full at the table”.

Response by 1SG John Highfill made May 13 at 2021 4:39 PM

2021-05-13T16:39:38-04:00

Mine was “ That reminds me of a little story”

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made May 13 at 2021 7:12 PM

2021-05-13T19:12:18-04:00

At the command to fall out, make a horseshoe formation around me.
Then call the gaggle to attention and release to platoon sgt.
Drives me nuts