Posted on Dec 30, 2014
What hardships have you overcome in your military career?
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The resiliency of our service members never ceases to amaze me. I'm curious as to what hardships we have all had to endure. I think this discussion will be motivational to the service members going through rough times, and provide evidence that it’s possible to survive even the toughest situations. Feel free to share a story. If you are currently dealing with a tough situation, feel free to share that as well. Maybe the RP community can provide you guidance and support.
Here's a synopsis of one of my hardships.
When I was 14 I tried to commit suicide. So having firsthand experience with those emotions and thoughts has honestly helped prevent me from going down that road again. When I was in Iraq, my unit leadership was beyond awful. If an NCO didn’t like us, we would get accused of things, counseled for it, and given ‘corrective action.’ If we took these issues to a more senior NCO, we got threaten with an article 15 amongst other things that would make our lives a living hell. I received a counseling statement for notifying my first line supervisor that my roommate was stealing my things (phrased differently of course). I got a different counseling statement for talking to a chaplain. Recognizing depressing emotions in myself, I could only imagine what my fellow soldiers were feeling and if they would survive this onslaught by our NCO chain.
I spoke with EO who wouldn’t do anything, instigated a command inquiry up through the Battalion level, and went to IG. The command inquiry on paper lists clearly contradictory statements by the NCOs involved, and then goes on to state no wrongdoing was found…blah blah blah. Not sure what others opinions are but when two NCOs give contradictory views under oath about the same situation it’s hard to believe one of them is not lying. Last I checked lying under oath was in itself a wrongdoing. When I went to IG, they wouldn’t let me bring a chaplain and were extremely accusatory. Last I checked I was the victim, but I was treated like I caused all these problems or made them up in my head. I was told I had a personal problem and to ‘get over it’. Not knowing what options I had left, I stopped trying. A few weeks later, one of the soldiers in my command committed suicide (same exact NCO chain as me). But hey, didn’t you know, it’s just my ‘personal problem.’
I was 19 years old and been in the Army for less than a year.
Here's a synopsis of one of my hardships.
When I was 14 I tried to commit suicide. So having firsthand experience with those emotions and thoughts has honestly helped prevent me from going down that road again. When I was in Iraq, my unit leadership was beyond awful. If an NCO didn’t like us, we would get accused of things, counseled for it, and given ‘corrective action.’ If we took these issues to a more senior NCO, we got threaten with an article 15 amongst other things that would make our lives a living hell. I received a counseling statement for notifying my first line supervisor that my roommate was stealing my things (phrased differently of course). I got a different counseling statement for talking to a chaplain. Recognizing depressing emotions in myself, I could only imagine what my fellow soldiers were feeling and if they would survive this onslaught by our NCO chain.
I spoke with EO who wouldn’t do anything, instigated a command inquiry up through the Battalion level, and went to IG. The command inquiry on paper lists clearly contradictory statements by the NCOs involved, and then goes on to state no wrongdoing was found…blah blah blah. Not sure what others opinions are but when two NCOs give contradictory views under oath about the same situation it’s hard to believe one of them is not lying. Last I checked lying under oath was in itself a wrongdoing. When I went to IG, they wouldn’t let me bring a chaplain and were extremely accusatory. Last I checked I was the victim, but I was treated like I caused all these problems or made them up in my head. I was told I had a personal problem and to ‘get over it’. Not knowing what options I had left, I stopped trying. A few weeks later, one of the soldiers in my command committed suicide (same exact NCO chain as me). But hey, didn’t you know, it’s just my ‘personal problem.’
I was 19 years old and been in the Army for less than a year.
Resiliency
Suicide
Leadership
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 20
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I just wanna say, SGT Kristin Wiley, that your story - in your short life - is impressive and inspiring. I don't feel like I had to overcome hardships in my military career. I feel like I have pretty much led a blessed life, especially during my active duty years. I think my expectations were quite different while I was on active duty, and they informed my expectations after I retired.
The most traumatic event in my life happened in August 2009. My 27-year-old daughter, who had struggled with drugs for several years (heroin, among others), died of an overdose of cocaine. We thought she was on the path to recovery ... In fact, I still think she was on the path to recovery, but she "slipped" and took some cocaine (not her drug of choice), and it killed her. Sadly, she hung on for a few days (on machines) in the hospital, but the doctors showed us there was no hope of recovery and that she was brain dead, so we made the tough decision to stop life support. Even though we knew in our heads there was no hope, it was a tough decision to make, probably because hope (in our hearts) never wants to die.
That was about three and a half years after I retired (just over five years ago), and I think about her (Courtney was her name) every day. That incident rocked my world, and not in a good way, obviously.
I guess that counts as a hardship, but it wasn't during my military career. The whole episode strengthened my faith in God, which I count as a silver lining of the sad affair.
The most traumatic event in my life happened in August 2009. My 27-year-old daughter, who had struggled with drugs for several years (heroin, among others), died of an overdose of cocaine. We thought she was on the path to recovery ... In fact, I still think she was on the path to recovery, but she "slipped" and took some cocaine (not her drug of choice), and it killed her. Sadly, she hung on for a few days (on machines) in the hospital, but the doctors showed us there was no hope of recovery and that she was brain dead, so we made the tough decision to stop life support. Even though we knew in our heads there was no hope, it was a tough decision to make, probably because hope (in our hearts) never wants to die.
That was about three and a half years after I retired (just over five years ago), and I think about her (Courtney was her name) every day. That incident rocked my world, and not in a good way, obviously.
I guess that counts as a hardship, but it wasn't during my military career. The whole episode strengthened my faith in God, which I count as a silver lining of the sad affair.
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TSgt Joshua Copeland
CW5 (Join to see), I thumbs upped your post, not because I liked what was said, it is alway tragic to lose a child, but because I appreciate you sharing.
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SGT (Join to see)
CW5 (Join to see), I'm in no way mitigating your pain. I was going to say that my sister's death changed the entire way I view my career, and life.
She was 29 years old, and accidentally overdosed on a combination of methadone and Xanax. We had left from visiting her, in Alabama, just two days prior. It was her first week back in college. It's been three years as of 09 Sep. Her name was Jesica.
It flipped everything in my world upside down. I lost my baby sister..and my mom lost her daughter. Not a day goes by that I don't think about her, and try to do the things that she can't. She was a beautiful, loving person. I think we are at our best when we keep them close to heart.
Thank you for sharing Courtney with us, Sir.
She was 29 years old, and accidentally overdosed on a combination of methadone and Xanax. We had left from visiting her, in Alabama, just two days prior. It was her first week back in college. It's been three years as of 09 Sep. Her name was Jesica.
It flipped everything in my world upside down. I lost my baby sister..and my mom lost her daughter. Not a day goes by that I don't think about her, and try to do the things that she can't. She was a beautiful, loving person. I think we are at our best when we keep them close to heart.
Thank you for sharing Courtney with us, Sir.
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SFC Boots Attaway
CW5 (Join to see) , I am very sorry to learn about your daughter. I know that loosing a child is hard on anyone Monty and the hurt may ease but the memories never go away.
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Wife almost dying, spending 3 months in ICU leaving me with a 3 yo, 1 yo, and newborn as well as worried to death about her health and recovery.
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CMSgt James Nolan
Wow. Sorry to hear that. Hopefully recovered? Again, makes you realize the important things..
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TSgt Joshua Copeland
I had a GREAT unit and even better Commander. I did not work for those 3 months. CC worked with the MDG and got me put on Con Leave to "accompany my spouse to the designated MTF." For the first month, my flight brought my kids dinner every night at 5. My CC and his wife visited both my family at the house and my wife in the hospital. I even learned out to change a diaper!
Things are "better" now for the wife. No major issues since then.
Things are "better" now for the wife. No major issues since then.
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SFC Boots Attaway
TSgt Joshua Copeland , I am glad to hear that you had great support from your unit and your wife is better. I pray for her continued health.
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Single parent for 9 yrs while on active duty. I could write a book
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SGT Kristin Wiley
I can only imagine. My roommate is a single mom with three kids in the Navy reserve. I'm not sure how it would be possible active duty.
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