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It took me a year to climb out of the dark deep place of pain, and I think this is the best that it will get. I noticed I left behind pieces of me like my passion to cook, fishing, math skills, and linear thinking skills. Did you experience this as well loss as well, and what did you lose?
Posted >1 y ago
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I lost the drive for and love of poetry I had before enlisting. I used to score distinguished on open ended writing assignments, now i have to spend 10-20 minutes thinking about how to say what I did when writing a work order.
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MAJ Ken Landgren
Keep your head up. I often write bad haikus. Keep looking for alternative routes, and best of luck to you.
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Sgt Matt Koeneman
Thanks. Honestly my kids have been the biggest help so far. They have me using that part of my brain as we learn to sketch and draw in different mediums together.
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Ken, in time you will find other passions. Have you thought about working with other survivors? God bless you
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MAJ Ken Landgren
I find folks who have PTSD and try to give them hope. I also guide them on different entitlements based on their VA rating and their desire/ability to work.
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Major I have been dealing with similar issues for a while now. It wasn't until 2014 when I was ready to get help. I kicked butt at my job, but lost focus on my personal life and family. Almost cost me a second marraige. I kind of feel like I just am. Nothing excites me and I am quick to anger. Never been suicidal thank God. It is a day by day process. The sad thing is I feel my best deployed. Like I need it to validate me and ny existence. Stay strong and feel free to message me anytime you need to talk.
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MAJ Ken Landgren
Could it be you need the adrenaline of deployments? I force myself to have gratitude that I am not in a dark deep place, and routinely think about who and what I love. This breaks the chain of negative thinking and tricks the brain. Good luck!
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SMSgt (Join to see)
It is exactly that Major. I miss the rush and knowing that what I do matters. I am well aware the importance of First Sargeants in garrison, but definitely not the same rush.
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