Adoption: Being adopted or an adoptee, have you attempted to find the birth family? Success? Please share all experiences

2015-06-25T13:44:14-04:00

A collection of quotes and poetry about adoption.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 25 at 2015 2:08 PM

2015-06-25T14:08:25-04:00

Here is my story,
December 26, 2014, I discovered I had an older sister. The strange thing is that my sister has always known I've existed.
I got a strange phone call in the middle of the night from a strange woman in Finland. She claimed that she knows someone who claimed to be my sister. She knew all of my family's names and addresses. I thought it was one of those "overseas scams." I asked the woman how much money did she need because, this is an inconsiderate thing to interrupt someone's life like that. The woman explained that she needed no money and that she is extremely serious. I asked her to pray with me in Jesus' name that I am really this woman's sister. So, we prayed.
A few moments later (what seemed like an eternity) I was on the phone with MY sister.
I thought that this could be very possible that I had a sister because, my father was a very private man. I knew he had secrets.
So this moment arrived. I was finally on the phone with my sister (Adrienne). Our hearts stopped for a moment. Just to hear her voice and her to hear mine. We had so many questions for each other. Could you imagine the lifetime worth of questions? We stayed on the phone for 15 days strait (with a couple hours of sleep in between of course). I learned that she is just like me, looks like me, thinks like me, talks like me, and we have so much more in common.
I learned that she was adopted. This lead to many more questions. You see, my father raised me by himself. Why would he allow her to be adopted and she was born first? Why wasn't I adopted. I felt cheated. My whole life I really felt her. I was very close to women and would befriend the "sisterly type." This lead to many more questions. Was her life as hard as mine? Does she love Christ as much as I do? Where do we go from here?
What I know now about the precious gift of being adopted has changed my life. Long story short, I will meet Adrienne for the first time in forever July 16, 2015. People we are 20 days and a wake up.

There is so much more to tell you all but, I don't have enough space or time.
How can you love someone unconditionally whom you have never met? I know first hand it is possible. Lord knows I have searched for her my entire life and she existed all this time. I'm so blesses and so in love

JW

Response by PO2 Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 25 at 2015 2:29 PM

2015-06-25T14:29:37-04:00

I was never technically adopted, just more or less had a change of custody at birth. According to my folks, my birth mother had, for a time, wanted to have a child just to give to a couple who couldn't have one themselves. This was a relief for my adoptive mom, who at the time, wanted a child after her first born son passed away and simply was unable. Ironically enough, both of them were coworkers at this time so they arranged it, and I happened. No, that's not a typo, I just wanted to throw in a little poor humor. Anyway, I found out when I was about 14 I think, when my mom (which is what I refer to my adoptive mother as since I don't even know my actual mom) was driving me to my dad's (same deal here) house, which they had been divorced for quite some time at this point and I lived with my dad. That was, unfortunately, one of the last things my mom told me before she passed away, and ever since I've done what I can to find my birth mother. Now that I'm in the Navy, a little smarter and have access to a few more resources, I feel like I'm closer than ever to finding her. Also, what's funny is my fiancée is in almost the same boat. It wasn't as planned, and it wasn't quite at birth, but she also more or less simply had a change of custody and knows her biological family. So yeah, that's my experience.

Response by LTC Kevin B. made Jun 25 at 2015 5:56 PM

2015-06-25T17:56:53-04:00

I have adopted two of my children, so this thread will give me some insight into what our girls will be experiencing in the future.

Response by CAPT Kevin B. made Jun 27 at 2015 12:14 AM

2015-06-27T00:14:27-04:00

I'll chip in our story. I'm not the adopted one but after years of infertility my wife and I adopted two boys separately that turned out to be full siblings. We arranged for the court order to require all parties to keep the court in Oklahoma aware of the current home address. We're pretty sure the birth parents moved on and are also aware they divorced. The boys have a half sister. We've retained the court records and the boys have had access to them if they wish when they turned 21. So far they haven't expressed an interest but who knows what life will bring. We won't be offended, just supportive. The birth father has a very unusual last name but we figure he'd be less likely than the birth mother to meet up with the boys. So when my wife retires next month and the house sells there, we'll provide notification to the court. We doubt the birth parents will look it up but who knows. Stranger things have happened.

Response by LTC Bink Romanick made Jun 27 at 2015 1:01 AM

2015-06-27T01:01:25-04:00

I had a girlfriend when I was younger who was adopted and she tried unsuccessfully but eventually have up, she had a wonderful adoptive family.

Response by SP5 Joel O'Brien made Jun 27 at 2015 12:03 PM

2015-06-27T12:03:52-04:00

We've had our son since he was six days of age. When he was old enough to understand how adoption was one of the ways a baby becomes part of a family, we informed him that, by a clerical error, we knew who was his birth mother. He informed us that we were his family and had no interest in meeting her.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Jun 27 at 2015 2:28 PM

2015-06-27T14:28:54-04:00

I was abandoned at a train station at 2. I have no desire to look for them.