Any pointers for a combat vet going through another deployment after getting married to a civilian?

2015-03-09T17:09:19-04:00

I have been a part of Rally Point for a while and throughally love reading all of the threads. So I am finally going to do my first post.....

About an hour ago I started my journey for yet another deployment. I love deploying; the experiences, people, culture, etc., but this time there is a change...I got married 2 weeks ago...to a civilian! :-)

So...does anyone have pointers for a combat vet going through a deployment and marriage for the first time?

We have been together for 4 years and I have done a pretty good job of educating him on our lovely language of acronyms and culture.

So brothers and sisters...hook a sister up!

Thank you all!!!

Response by CW5 Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 9 at 2015 6:40 PM

2015-03-09T18:40:15-04:00

My tip, MSgt Private RallyPoint Member, is to communicate to the max. And in this day of technological wonders, you can likely Skype, e-mail, etc. all the time. During my one non-combat deployment to Croatia (UN peacekeeping mission) and one year of separation in Korea, lack of communication was a major problem - on both sides of the equation.

I know that's an obvious answer, but I think communication is so important to a healthy relationship!

Response by SFC Collin McMillion made Mar 9 at 2015 7:02 PM

2015-03-09T19:02:07-04:00

I do not remember anywhere in the contract we all signed that it said deployment was based on family or dependants. I do think that "sometimes" this may be taken into consideration, but the basics are the basics, the military will sent you where they feel you are most needed reguardless. You can only hope and trust your family is understanding about our duty and responsibilities and try to accept it.

Response by PO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 9 at 2015 7:02 PM

2015-03-09T19:02:39-04:00

I am married to a civilian and just got back from a 6 month deployment. Like Mr. Montgomery said, there are many avenues to communicate. I chose Facebook because it was easy. I don't know how/where you are deploying but if the country supports it you can pick up a disposable cell phone. They are cheap and easy to set up. Biggest thing I learned is that don't do the "one up" thing. For instance if they complain about what's going on in their life dont retort with something that is obviously worse going on in your life. Being in their situation still sucks for them even it doesn't seem that bad to you. And don't forget to buy souvenirs if you can for them!

Response by Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS made Mar 15 at 2015 5:56 PM

2015-03-15T17:56:23-04:00

Daily letters/emails (or as close as possible). About stupid stuff, anything really. Just stay connected. Take photos. Lots of them. Have them do the same.

Response by PFC Patricia Bowen made Mar 15 at 2015 9:14 PM

2015-03-15T21:14:11-04:00

Just like everyone else has said a lot of communication in as many ways as possible. Whether it is Facebook, email or letters. Letters will feel really personal though. Even if you don't have much to write just send something.

Take lots of pictures! That will help you communicate when you get home. You will be able to tell him stories about the pictures you took.

I would also introduce him to a lot of the people that you will be working with. I think that will help him understand things a little better if you are telling him about your day and you mention specific people.

I really wish you lots of luck in your relationship during your deployment!