Any tankers out there have a good story about running over something?

I have long since lost track of my copies of various newsprint sources that reported the story (USAREUR Germany, 1969) of a tanker type who felt it necessary to take a beak out for a bit of a ride. There may have been some intoxicant(s) involved.

Apparently several of the streets were not wide enough to avoid a retriever having to use parked vehicles as roadway. The documented flattening was impressive. VW Bugs are reportedly especially crunchy.

No but this is a good one:
The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, a Booth Bay Harbor, Maine man answered his door to find two grim-faced Maine State Troopers.

"We're sorry Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife," said one of the troopers.
"Tell me! Did you find her?!" Wilkens asked. The troopers looked at each other. One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which would you like to hear first?"
Fearing the worst, Mr. Wilkens said, "Give me the bad news first."
The trooper said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in the bay."
"Oh my God!" exclaimed Wilkens.
Swallowing hard, he asked, "What could possibly be the good news?"
The trooper continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12 of the best looking Maine lobsters that you have ever seen and 60 good-sized Rockfish clinging to her. Haven't seen lobsters like that since the 1960's, and we feel you are entitled to a share in the catch."
Stunned, Mr. Wilkens demanded, "If that's the good news, then what's the great news?"
The trooper replied, "We're gonna pull her up again tomorrow."

About 1967 a number of returned Viet vet tankers on a night vision driving course, wandered into fields, and a parking lot, resulting in the destruction of miles of fencing, a few cows and several vehicles. During my course, one of our tanks drove up the back of another. Don't even ask about all the destruction in RVN.