Anyone ever experience an individual in their unit taking their own life?

WO1 Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 22 Jan 2020 18:43:38 -0500

Never knew how much a death could impact a person even if you weren’t super close to them. Feels like my own family member in a way.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 22 at 2020 6:58 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 22 Jan 2020 18:58:07 -0500

Yes. My unit just experienced this a few months ago. A Soldier that had ETSd but had known most of the people in my unit, he had committed suicide. And when we were notified, it was a severe punch to the gut.

Response by CMSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 22 at 2020 7:02 PM

CMSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 22 Jan 2020 19:02:24 -0500

Unfortunately yes. Hard not to think your team could have done more to prevent it. Hopefully, we learn from these experiences and act differently in the future. Intervention is critical for those seeking suicide as an answer.

Response by SSgt Richard Kensinger made Jan 22 at 2020 7:08 PM

SSgt Richard Kensinger — Wed, 22 Jan 2020 19:08:46 -0500

As per my clinical research X 4 yrs. here are my observations as I've conducted root-cause analyses and psychosocial autopsies like VAC's do when a vet under their care kills themselves.
To the untrained eye, it is difficult to detect and prevent. However, clinicians are trained to and have an obligation to predict and prevent suicide. Men are far more likely to succeed. There are a # of factors that contribute as well.

In a combat zone, the most important psychosocial unit is the squad. The bonds forged are very significant to everyone's survival. When a comrade is wounded, all feel wounded! When one is killed they all feel this way. And under combat conditions, there is no time to grieve. When deployment ends they experience survivors guilt and compacted grief. Thus they require swift intervention and extended clinical care. I find group therapy to be very efficacious in this regard, as it recapitulates the squad!
Rich

Response by Lt Col Charlie Brown made Jan 22 at 2020 7:20 PM

Lt Col Charlie Brown — Wed, 22 Jan 2020 19:20:46 -0500

One when I was a Captain Terrible, heartbreak for the family. When I was a Commander, two people who were preparing to suicide, both reached out to me first and they are both still with us.

Response by SPC Stewart Smith made Jan 22 at 2020 7:30 PM

SPC Stewart Smith — Wed, 22 Jan 2020 19:30:19 -0500

We had a soldier in my squad, SPC J, commit suicide after we re-deployed. It was awful. The entire company took an immediate gut punch and never really recovered. He knew how and when to boost moral. He was positive. He brought me out of my shell and showed me how fun it was to socialize and meet new people. He was the truest friend I've ever had. There were no signs. He frequently talked about reenlisting and talked to others about what they were doing when their contract was up. He was a true brother. The only regret I have is not paying more attention to any possible warning signs. I'll never forget him.

Response by SGT Steve McFarland made Jan 22 at 2020 7:40 PM

SGT Steve McFarland — Wed, 22 Jan 2020 19:40:42 -0500

I lost my wife to suicide in October 1997. It was the darkest day in my life, and it still hurts over 22 years later.

Response by 1SG Dennis Hicks made Jan 22 at 2020 7:42 PM

1SG Dennis Hicks — Wed, 22 Jan 2020 19:42:11 -0500

Some units have this occur far more often than is expected. I have known and seen more that many should have to deal with. It affects many in different ways all the way from denial to understanding. Its how we each deal with it and move on.

Response by SCPO Morris Ramsey made Jan 22 at 2020 7:56 PM

SCPO Morris Ramsey — Wed, 22 Jan 2020 19:56:32 -0500

Never had anyone in the Navy take their life. I did have a school classmate that took his life when he was about 40. I had reconnected with him briefly but we were not close at the time. Some of our other classmates took it pretty hard. When any of my shipmates pass away, I try to reach out to the families. When The guy who took me off the deck force as his striker passed away that was pretty rough. We had remained friends up to his passing.

Response by 1LT Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 22 at 2020 8:07 PM

1LT Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 22 Jan 2020 20:07:03 -0500

Yes last year.

I had already ETS’d by this point and joined ROTC but there was a young soldier from my last unit who added me on Facebook. We worked in separate platoons but I remember him as being highly motivated, willing to learn and cheerful. One day he posted a suicide note to Facebook, turned off his phone, took a gun to a secluded area and became a victim of suicide. We were all trying frantically to get a hold of him until his brother told us that his body was found.

Ironically, in my mental health nursing class we were studying the effects of depression and the increase risk for suicide. Class definitely hit home that day.

Response by LTC Eugene Chu made Jan 22 at 2020 8:32 PM

LTC Eugene Chu — Wed, 22 Jan 2020 20:32:25 -0500

I have experience knowing an individual who made an unsuccessful suicide attempt. We were both students at West Point Prep School. She slit her wrists due to stress over older sister already at the academy along with academic struggles. The incident caught everyone by surprise and commandant held mass formation in order to address what had happened. Although she survived and left prep school, it was an egregiously serious experience. Suicide and attempts to commit suicide can occur anywhere and anytime if we are not aware

Response by PVT Mark Zehner made Jan 22 at 2020 8:52 PM

PVT Mark Zehner — Wed, 22 Jan 2020 20:52:19 -0500

Yes. Still remember it 30+ years later

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 22 at 2020 9:51 PM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 22 Jan 2020 21:51:21 -0500

Unfortunately it’s happened a couple of times. The first time was in 2010, a few months after we got back from AFG. It was actually a member of my squad. Afterwards I spent so much time pouring over his last days, trying to see any signs that it was going to happen. The guilt was unbearable. We lost another Soldier from the same unit a few months ago. I didn’t know her well but it was still a sock in the gut.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 22 at 2020 9:55 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 22 Jan 2020 21:55:42 -0500

Ive lost 4 close friends in the 6 years ive been in. It hurt more and more each time and the memorials get harder each time.

Response by SPC Rhonda Godlewski-Reese made Jan 22 at 2020 10:13 PM

SPC Rhonda Godlewski-Reese — Wed, 22 Jan 2020 22:13:39 -0500

Spent an hour making him laugh and teasing him about cookies. The Next day heard SGT B had killed himself. All the funerals I’ve been too that one was the saddest. There were more tears shed that day than I care to think about. He was very young and it never made sense.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Jan 22 at 2020 11:24 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Wed, 22 Jan 2020 23:24:21 -0500

My paradigm of PTSD has shifted in regards to PTSD as I have gotten older. PTSD is first a matter of survival. We need to focus on that early on.

Response by TSgt Joe C. made Jan 23 at 2020 1:09 AM

TSgt Joe C. — Thu, 23 Jan 2020 01:09:54 -0500

Hello, WO1 Private RallyPoint Member. Though I have not experienced someone taking their own life in a unit I've been in, I did have 1 Airman pass away from an undetected disease in 2015, 3 days after taking his PT test. We celebrated his life running an 8 mile perimeter run in NM. The pain isn't easy at all. I have had a cousin die to an overdose of drugs. I have had a brother and a cousin each commit suicide via train vs car. No amount of time will ever heal that wound. Each of them are missed tremendously each and every day.

Malmstrom AFB has experienced a handful of suicides within the past 12 months. I did not know any of them and most were SF Airmen (MPs). We just lost a SSgt last week and I am unsure if it was a suicide or something else. Sad state here on base!

Response by SSG Laurie Mullen made Jan 23 at 2020 1:43 AM

SSG Laurie Mullen — Thu, 23 Jan 2020 01:43:39 -0500

Yup. A PFC in my platoon in the 29th Sig BN, FT Lewis on Monday night on Columbus Day in 94. Tuesday morning he was out of ranks for PT and his team chief covered for him, he didn't know where he was, and said that he was in the bathroom with "digestive issues". He was found about 1 1/2 hours later dead in his car in the back parking lot with a single gunshot to the right temple. TAPS hasn't sounded the same since then. (There is more to the story, but that's the short version)

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 23 at 2020 7:05 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 23 Jan 2020 07:05:45 -0500

One of our supply specialist took their own life while on leave from Korea. It took us all by surprise she had seemed just fine, always seemed upbeat.

Response by CPT Christina Fish Lopez made Jan 23 at 2020 8:24 AM

CPT Christina Fish Lopez — Thu, 23 Jan 2020 08:24:47 -0500

Connecting with others that have lost a battle with depression helps.
https://afsp.donordrive.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=cms.page&id=1385&eventID=6422

I'm supporting American Foundation for Suicide Prevention!

Response by CPT Christina Fish Lopez made Jan 23 at 2020 8:25 AM

CPT Christina Fish Lopez — Thu, 23 Jan 2020 08:25:57 -0500

Here is an article to about the language we use when talking about this.

https://www.cnn.com/2018/06/09/health/suicide-language-words-matter/index.html

The words to say -- and not to say -- about suicide

What we say or don't say makes a difference to those struggling with thoughts of ending their own lives or to those reeling from suicide loss, experts say.

Response by SFC Casey O'Mally made Jan 23 at 2020 9:36 PM

SFC Casey O'Mally — Thu, 23 Jan 2020 21:36:38 -0500

Only once. I barely knew the guy. But it still hit home.
It gets better with time, but never completely.

Response by CSM Richard StCyr made Jan 24 at 2020 1:57 PM

CSM Richard StCyr — Fri, 24 Jan 2020 13:57:31 -0500

Yes, we lost a Soldier while on deployment to Iraq. No one saw it coming, Soldier was a top performer, well liked by his peers and respected by his NCOs and officers in a great Squad in one of the best companies of the battalion.
The unit was devastated by his loss and the investigation after crawling up everyone's posterior, never concluded what led the Soldier to shoot themselves. The blanket saying that there are always signs didn't hold true at all and the belief in that statement caused the leaders trouble with guilt for years and still causes a couple of them issues to this day 13 years later.

Response by SPC Douglas Bolton made Jan 25 at 2020 10:41 PM

SPC Douglas Bolton — Sat, 25 Jan 2020 22:41:55 -0500

I Lost two friends in Korea. It wasn’t suicide but it still tire at my heart. I did have two of my students that I cared for end their own lives. Devastating.

Response by Don Riggs made Jan 26 at 2020 6:59 PM

Don Riggs — Sun, 26 Jan 2020 18:59:09 -0500

A roommate Howard himself in our shared garage, right over the frame and engine of a hot rod I was building... I finally called somebody to haul it away cuz I just couldn't bear to touch it anymore. That was three decades ago and it still makes me feel unreal just to think about it.