Are comments you make hoping to inspire and motivate really destructive?

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 11 Sep 2015 21:37:54 -0400

We've all heard them wether they are directed at ourselves or others. Positively worded comments made with a sarcastic tone. Some leaders think this type of mentoring will inspire and motivate. So think about it before you speak or as my Grandmother says, "taste your words before you spit them out". Another thing to consider is what does this do to your organization? If Soldiers hate coming to work because of the work environment this is a clear message something is wrong. Be the leader who will work on either changing him/herself or changing the work environment. We're all on the same team!
http://www.themilitaryleader.com/making-destructive-comments-habit-series-4/

Making Destructive Comments (Habit Series #4)

Think back on your recent interactions. If I asked you how many times you made destructive comments towards the people you work with, how would you answer? “Destructive? No way. I’m a nice person. And when I do give feedback, it’s never destructive.”What about if I asked you how many times you talked negatively about […]

Response by LTC Stephen F. made Sep 11 at 2015 9:40 PM

LTC Stephen F. — Fri, 11 Sep 2015 21:40:12 -0400

I certainty hope not CPT Private RallyPoint Member. However with the best intentions sometimes we attempt to help somebody that does nor receive our help they way we intended.

Response by Capt Seid Waddell made Sep 11 at 2015 9:41 PM

Capt Seid Waddell — Fri, 11 Sep 2015 21:41:51 -0400

Sarcasm is never called for.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Sep 11 at 2015 9:49 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Fri, 11 Sep 2015 21:49:51 -0400

A good leader uses a full spectrum of emotions and tools to build a team, and its very situational. If the unit is doing well acknowledge it. If there are improvements needed spit it out. If someone is in a dangerous position immediately take control. There is no use in constantly stressing the unit, as deployments will do that for you.

Response by SSgt Alex Robinson made Sep 12 at 2015 12:52 AM

SSgt Alex Robinson — Sat, 12 Sep 2015 00:52:47 -0400

I don't believe so especially if they are positive

Response by Cpl James Waycasie made Sep 12 at 2015 5:47 AM

Cpl James Waycasie — Sat, 12 Sep 2015 05:47:44 -0400

This is an excellent question. Every person in a leadership role whether military or civilian life should ask themselves this daily; especially when the need to council someone arises. I ( especially the first time I have to council someone) set up a relaxed atmosphere for the individual. I start out by pointing out their strong suits and commend them on their efforts. I believe this causes a positive influence on the individual by the fact that you show you are aware of their achievements and work excellence in some areas. After complimenting them, I then bring up the subject matter that they are lacking performance in. I openly discuss the problem and let them speak freely. Sometimes they are not even aware of the problem. A lot of times they even offer up the best solution on how to correct the problem. By handling the issue in this manner, the individual doesn't take it as a negative strike against them. Normally they feel that I am aware of their efforts to be successful and see the session not so much as a chewing out from their leader, but a leader that is concerned about helping them to improve in areas they lack skill and knowledge ; thereby helping them to grow in knowledge and skills needed to attain an advancement in their career. If approached in the correct manner, what most people would consider a negative experience can be turned into a positive experience producing a more motivated team member.

Response by BG David Fleming III made Sep 13 at 2015 12:34 PM

BG David Fleming III — Sun, 13 Sep 2015 12:34:38 -0400

I like the discussion. I think back to the time when I was a young Leiutenant, unsure how I would be viewed by my man as a new officer, the one thing that bothered me the most was comments coming for the Senior NCO leadership. I valued and trusted them to help me develop into a good leader. Joking comments about my butter bars weren't helpful in getting me where I needed to be. So we should discuss how comments coming from all levels of leadership can be destructive.