Are soldiers in "Same Sex Marriage" a distraction for you?

1LT Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 04 Oct 2015 11:50:35 -0400

How serious is the distraction, if at all for you, by Soldiers interested in the same sex serving in the military?

I don't see it as a problem. I don't feel as though thier should be any difference in work ethic. I've met some male Soldiers that seemed to think that they should be treated softer, like a female. I've also met some females serving that want to be one of the guys, until it's an inconvenience to her. But I don't treat Soldiers any different. Male or female.

Here is the task... Get it done...

Males and females have different needs physically at times... But I foster a team of equality and we all meet the goals that are set.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 4 at 2015 11:56 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 04 Oct 2015 11:56:31 -0400

Not at all . A Soldier is a Soldier is a Soldier - period.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 4 at 2015 11:59 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 04 Oct 2015 11:59:55 -0400

I haven't had a problem yet at work. I no longer take my children to FRG events due to some odd behavior from the SSM folks. It's like they need everyone to be fully aware that they are a gay married couple. Something that I do not personally condone.
Additionally, I haven't had to provide any marriage counseling for a SSM couple. Something else I couldn't be comfortable doing. But as far as performance, no problems yet.

Response by SFC Michael Seiber made Oct 4 at 2015 12:02 PM

SFC Michael Seiber — Sun, 04 Oct 2015 12:02:44 -0400

Here's how I see it; if it affects the individuals performance than its a problem. As Long as they can "Soldier up" and do their jobs without limitations or distractions then whatever.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 4 at 2015 12:03 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 04 Oct 2015 12:03:52 -0400

It's a tricky one right now. But in the end attrition will eliminate those soldiers that simply cannot perform regardless of gender and/or orientation and do not do their job.

Response by SSG Ed Mikus made Oct 4 at 2015 12:05 PM

SSG Ed Mikus — Sun, 04 Oct 2015 12:05:40 -0400

It's only a problem if you make it a problem if you've got that little to do in your own life that you make that into your priority you should do other things with your time

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 4 at 2015 12:13 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 04 Oct 2015 12:13:32 -0400

I've had no issues. I saw no difference in the performance of the SMs that I've had- hetero or homo-since their work performance and ethic did not affect my team or platoon - I and the team both had no issue. and I see that if you continue to treat them just as any other member or leader under your guidance, you will get the same results.

Response by SSG Jason Turner made Oct 4 at 2015 12:24 PM

SSG Jason Turner — Sun, 04 Oct 2015 12:24:59 -0400

It shouldn't be a problem but if the soldier expects to be treated differently then it is a problem. We are all soldiers and we should all act like one period. As long as the mission at hand is accomplished without complications due to race gender or sexuality then there is no problem.

Response by SSG Michael Scott made Oct 4 at 2015 12:30 PM

SSG Michael Scott — Sun, 04 Oct 2015 12:30:45 -0400

As long they do try to make a move on me, either in the foxhole, tent, or shower, or in a combat setting. I would not have time for distractions. They have to remember the mission comes first, not their sexual preference.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 4 at 2015 12:36 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 04 Oct 2015 12:36:43 -0400

I think the fact that we made a place for sexual orientation in our professional working environment is unprofessional in itself.

When I introduce myself, I don't say, "hello, I am am jack, I'm a heterosexual, how can I help today?" Or vice versa, whatever bill fits.

End state: I don't care what you are, I care what you can do to help accomplish our goals. Do that and your an asset. Do it not, regardless of "sexual orientation", or anything, and you should be cut from the team.

I think we should all feel insulted that it ever snuck it's way into our "business". Just another way to stereotype and categorize.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 4 at 2015 1:09 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 04 Oct 2015 13:09:33 -0400

As long as a Soldier has my back, I will have their back. It shouldn't matter what their sexual orientation is. We are all one big family.

Response by SFC Scott Leenerts made Oct 4 at 2015 1:21 PM

SFC Scott Leenerts — Sun, 04 Oct 2015 13:21:36 -0400

No, I had to change my vocabulary a bit, saying spouse rather than husband or wife. I get questions from them about changing last names and the next base's state laws. I do the paperwork and refer them to relocation readiness at ACS. Business as usual.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 4 at 2015 2:28 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 04 Oct 2015 14:28:46 -0400

I don't have a problem, nor do I see an issue, with those that are gay and serve. It holds not one bit of distraction for me. I give an order and a mission to be done, I expect my orders to be carried out and the mission to be completed. I expect this to happen whether I give the order and mission to a heterosexual or a homosexual. I don't care about their bedroom life. I care about the mission. Now, if their personal life starts interfering with military life then I will take notice as I would with a Soldier that is hetero.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 4 at 2015 4:47 PM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 04 Oct 2015 16:47:31 -0400

Nope. They are just as professional as other Soldiers.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 5 at 2015 1:26 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 05 Oct 2015 01:26:57 -0400

A soldier is a soldier is a soldier. I don't treat male or female any differently, married or not. Who they marry is up to them, and should not determine how we treat them. Sometimes they come with special challenges because of those that do treat them differently, but so be it.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 5 at 2015 9:16 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 05 Oct 2015 09:16:13 -0400

If a Soldier/NCO/Officer chooses to be unprofessional and allows another Soldier's sexual orientation to distract them, then it will be a distraction. I couldn't care any less of a service member's sexual orientation. Good for them. Sexual orientation doesn't need to be discussed at all in the workplace, anyway. It's nobody's business. Service members gay, lesbian, straight or bi-sexual don't need to be discussing this subject in the workplace. Just keep it professional, people catch on eventually and most service member's that I know, don't care.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 5 at 2015 3:35 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 05 Oct 2015 15:35:52 -0400

I think it will only turn into a distraction if you let it. I had a couple that wanted to be assigned to the same Brigade so they could be on the same deployment cycle. I checked to see if it was possible. It worked out for them the same way it would for any other couple.

Response by TSgt Kenneth Ellis made Oct 5 at 2015 3:49 PM

TSgt Kenneth Ellis — Mon, 05 Oct 2015 15:49:33 -0400

Being in the military was about serving your country. Now it is all about who you prefere to sleep with.

Response by SrA Matthew Knight made Oct 6 at 2015 1:46 AM

SrA Matthew Knight — Tue, 06 Oct 2015 01:46:23 -0400

Nope. I didn't even know many of the ones that I worked with that were gay until they specifically brought it up or something related to it in normal small talk. Otherwise we all do our job as we are supposed to, that aspect of their lives has as much an impact on work as me playing xbox in my off time. (In other words, no impact.)

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 6 at 2015 10:27 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 06 Oct 2015 10:27:10 -0400

ALCON,

I don't believe this is an appropriate conversation on a social forum. Not because the conversation can not be had. However, we have personnel that can take offense by misinterpreting your response. Remember that even on these forums as Soldiers we can be held accountable to both UCMJ and Army program (EO, SHARP & etc.). Remember this is Professional not Personal.

Response by SSG Warren Swan made Oct 6 at 2015 10:31 AM

SSG Warren Swan — Tue, 06 Oct 2015 10:31:48 -0400

IF their sexual orientation bothers you, vs. their performance as a Soldier, then maybe you're the one with the real problem. SSG Tyshaun Hunter, this wasn't directed at you (you clearly stated as much), but there are always going to be those close minded ones who swear allowing the LGBT to openly serve is an issue.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 6 at 2015 5:50 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 06 Oct 2015 17:50:06 -0400

I have quite a few Soldiers that are currently in a same sex marriage and have not had any type of reason to believe this is an issue in the military. It is becoming more accepted in our society today. If you want to serve this great nation of ours it should not matter what type of relationship you are in. All of us are equal and that's what our nation was built on.

Response by PO1 John Miller made Oct 8 at 2015 4:33 AM

PO1 John Miller — Thu, 08 Oct 2015 04:33:47 -0400

The way I look at it is this: gays have been serving in the military since there was a military. The only difference is now they can be open about it and not have to hide it. I think it was a bigger problem when it was illegal. I knew of a few good Sailors who got put out for being gay.

Response by CPO Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 8 at 2015 7:48 AM

CPO Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 08 Oct 2015 07:48:37 -0400

The only thing I don't like about the whole thing was seeing that they received 10 free days of leave to go get married in a state that allowed it. I didn't receive 10 free days of leave when I got married. I want my free leave! Equal opportunity! #straightlivesmatter

Response by LTC Bink Romanick made Oct 8 at 2015 7:56 AM

LTC Bink Romanick — Thu, 08 Oct 2015 07:56:04 -0400

1LT Private RallyPoint Member if they're a distraction to any soldier they're in the wrong profession. It's legal and allowed by ARs. Get over it

Response by SFC Michael Hasbun made Oct 8 at 2015 7:57 AM

SFC Michael Hasbun — Thu, 08 Oct 2015 07:57:17 -0400

Well... I suppose if they were having sex on my desk it could get distracting... other than that, I don't see how it would be for anyone!

Response by PO3 Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 8 at 2015 10:51 AM

PO3 Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 08 Oct 2015 10:51:23 -0400

Can you shoot?? get that rifle! lets go!

who care?

Response by CSM Michael Poll made Oct 8 at 2015 11:05 AM

CSM Michael Poll — Thu, 08 Oct 2015 11:05:41 -0400

No. Just like a persons race, religion, national origin or sex doesn't bothers me. As long as you are able and willing to put your ass in the grass and put rounds on target, and are able to patch me up if I am leaking blood, I have no issues with anyone!

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 8 at 2015 9:22 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 08 Oct 2015 21:22:57 -0400

The only distraction would be treating them unfairly because of a personal lifestyle choice. They took the same path I took, so regardless they're my battle and I would look out for them just as much as I'd look out for a heterosexual person. As long as they meet the same standards I do and carry their own wait, who am I to judge?

Response by Capt Richard I P. made Oct 14 at 2015 9:55 AM

Capt Richard I P. — Wed, 14 Oct 2015 09:55:37 -0400

Nope.

Response by SFC Stephen King made Oct 16 at 2015 5:20 AM

SFC Stephen King — Fri, 16 Oct 2015 05:20:00 -0400

Not at all
Non-issue

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 16 at 2015 8:06 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 16 Oct 2015 20:06:57 -0400

I definitely agree with the way you look at things. I have no soft spot for soft attitudes. We at all soldiers and we know the standard. I also know reality and know that there are some people that will be swayed by a smile or flick of an eyelash and will make things easier for a soldier of their choosing. This also makes it harder for a leader that does not lead with a sexist mind. I say the standard is there, follow it, enforce it, accept nothing less, and get the job done.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 17 at 2015 12:25 PM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 17 Oct 2015 12:25:59 -0400

Not at all, we are the ones that can prevent any distractions when it come to this.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 17 at 2015 3:28 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 17 Oct 2015 15:28:06 -0400

Nope. I am not interested in their sexual orientation. I am more interested in whether or not they have my back in the time of conflict.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 20 at 2015 2:34 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 20 Oct 2015 02:34:31 -0400

It doesn't brother me. I treat all soldiers the same. Take care of them and they will do the same for u.

Response by SFC Brian Ewing made Oct 20 at 2015 12:12 PM

SFC Brian Ewing — Tue, 20 Oct 2015 12:12:59 -0400

First off I'd say if anyone has a problem with anyone's gender, race or personal preference then you are in the wrong place serving in our military or even living in this country for that matter. We are supposed to be the "Home of the Free" and the "Land of the Brave", stand up for people like this when others put them down.
We don't have to agree with one another's personal preference but we do have to do what is fair and support equal rights under the law.

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 20 at 2015 3:35 PM

MSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 20 Oct 2015 15:35:52 -0400

No problem here. PDA rules apply to either. Leave that stuff at home, keep the behavior at work professional, and get your job done.

Response by SFC Ronald Britcher made Oct 27 at 2015 3:09 PM

SFC Ronald Britcher — Tue, 27 Oct 2015 15:09:49 -0400

I'm glad I retired in 2010 because I would not stand for that same sex married there is no room for that in our military these days. If everyone would just go by the bible then this would be a problem solved. I would do everything in my power to have that and then soldiers removed from my unit or even army itself. But being I can not do that then that's why I hung up my Stetson. TOUJOURS PRET BROTHERS

Response by Maj Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 29 at 2015 7:10 AM

Maj Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 29 Oct 2015 07:10:06 -0400

I know two married female couples and a male couple that aren't married. They are all great at their jobs and cool, so no one cares.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 31 at 2015 11:29 AM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 31 Dec 2015 11:29:47 -0500

One of the best supply clerks I ever had was a gay dude. As long as you do your job, I couldn't care less who you sleep with.

Response by SFC Edwin Watson made Jan 13 at 2016 2:00 PM

SFC Edwin Watson — Wed, 13 Jan 2016 14:00:44 -0500

When I first joined the Army, I came from a small town in the deep South, and every gay person i encountered at that point was a predator. Over the years I have found out that those guys were the exception, and that most of the gay community just wants the American dream of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Being gay doesn't mean they will work any less hard, or be any less courageous. A history lesson: Julius Caesar encouraged his Soldiers to have "relationships" with each other so they would have motivation to fight harder for each other, which is actually where the word romantic came from.

Response by Maj John Bell made Mar 8 at 2016 12:25 PM

Maj John Bell — Tue, 08 Mar 2016 12:25:50 -0500

I don't spend time wondering about other people sex lives. It is not any of my business, regardless of their sexual orientation. As far as my interaction with them, everyone is an individual. Blanket solutions usually have a lot of unintended consequences. The leaders I've admired most know how to walk that fine line of adjusting to the individual, while being fair to everyone.

Response by CPT Pedro Meza made Mar 8 at 2016 12:32 PM

CPT Pedro Meza — Tue, 08 Mar 2016 12:32:45 -0500

I am retired now, but it would not distract me, except for wanting to know who takes out the trash?

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 10 at 2016 12:30 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 10 Mar 2016 12:30:54 -0500

At the risk of setting myself up for "constructive feedback" I'm not really sure why the concept of being female or "treating someone like a female" is in kind of a negative light/tone in your discussion....
I must just have had some kind of spectacular career so far and I have had the luck of only serving with female "exceptions to the rule", but I have not had issues with female Soldiers, their work ethic, their strength, their resilience, their ability to complete the mission.
I understand that this is not the intent of your post, but I take issue with this.

In regards to what I'm sure was intended to be a well-meaning discussion topic: I have no issue serving with LGBTQ identified Soldiers. A Soldier is a Soldier. One more person to help accomplish the mission.

Response by SPC(P) Alexandra Hinds made Mar 15 at 2016 4:37 PM

SPC(P) Alexandra Hinds — Tue, 15 Mar 2016 16:37:37 -0400

Personally, I have not seen or heard of a person(s) interested in the same sex causing a distraction to myself or others in the Military or in the Civilian equivalent workplace. If you pay too much attention to these individuals, I can see how it may grow to become a distraction, but that is when keeping your nose and emotions out of other peoples personal lives comes into play. Too many people are "nosey" or "dramatic" when it comes to certain things being out of the ordinary. People will always love who they love, regardless of gender or race.
In my opinion however, they do not deserve softer treatment or to be treated differently than the person to the left or the right to them. I have not nor ever will have an issue with a man loving a man and a woman loving a woman, but when they start demanding different treatment, it becomes a whole different issue considering these people have been fighting for so long for the same treatment as others.
Some of you may have different comments or opinions, however this is mine and I am sticking to it.

Response by CPL Nicholas Gerogianis made Feb 11 at 2018 9:24 PM

CPL Nicholas Gerogianis — Sun, 11 Feb 2018 21:24:40 -0500

A big disgrace all around

Response by PO2 Nick Burke made May 20 at 2018 8:46 AM

PO2 Nick Burke — Sun, 20 May 2018 08:46:13 -0400

No. As long as they don't make it an issue or expect special treatment or consideration.