Babies and Deployment: Any advice?

2015-04-27T18:54:44-04:00

So my wife and I wanted to wait until I returned from my upcoming deployment before we started having children. Sadly it would appear that is not the case and we are expecting a child around the November time period. I will be overseas until May of next year and therefore need to look into options or advice from others who have been through this before.

- My wife is a nurse and works 0700 - 1900 on her work days, meaning most day cares are out

- Family can be made available as they are not too far away, but they have commitments at their own homes a few hours away and cannot dedicate constant support.

Any thoughts or ideas would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

Response by SSG Christopher Freeman made Apr 27 at 2015 6:56 PM

2015-04-27T18:56:22-04:00

You could do an in home nanny. Its expensive but it would work in your situation. There are daycares that run late hours because so many of us work hectic hours.

Response by SSG (ret) William Martin made Apr 27 at 2015 9:59 PM

2015-04-27T21:59:48-04:00

You could ask her mother, your mother-in-law that is to move in and to help.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 27 at 2015 10:26 PM

2015-04-27T22:26:17-04:00

Both grandparents in my sons case, rotated in and out until I came home... It was six months,but it really did help.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 28 at 2015 4:37 AM

2015-04-28T04:37:45-04:00

We have 5 kids, my wife is a RN, however we chose for her to stop working outside the home after #2 was born, and we homeschool all of them. When we only had #1, my wife worked 3-4 days a week, 8-12 hour shifts, and was able to schedule them for times when I would be home from work to watch him. (I was working with the IDARNG, so my schedule was very predictable.)

#2 was born ~6 months before I went on a 6 month (179 days) TDY. We lived very far from any family, so my wife depended on local friends for assistance.
#3 was born ~3 months before I first deployed, although my wife was not working, we worked some family visits to assist her (both them coming to us, and her going to them).
#4 was born ~5 months before my second deployment, and my wife did the same with family, and worked with other neighborhood Moms to help share the load.
#5 was born ~4 months before my third deployment, however since we had moved to a new location, she did not have the neighborhood network, so depended on folks from church, and again, family visits for assistance.

Since we homeschool, and my wife stays home, we have never truly researched child care, however, from our friends who do, especially those Dual Military, we have seen Nannys, longer hours daycare facilities, and friends used to cover when both Mom and Dad were unavailable.

Congratulations on your new baby and embrace this phase of your life!

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 28 at 2015 8:07 AM

2015-04-28T08:07:06-04:00

Congratultions on fatherfood.

Here are some options:
1 - extedned daycare (if available in your area)
2 - a nanny
3 - move in a friend or relative
4 - she could take a 6 month leave of absense until you return

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 28 at 2015 9:26 AM

2015-04-28T09:26:59-04:00

I was deployed when my second was born. I didn't meet her until she was 3 1/2 months old. My wife became a stay at home mom and joined some "Military Moms" groups that she found online. The groups were full of other moms that had gone through similar situations and were glad to assist. Plus it got my wife out of the house doing things with her new friends, which helped her get over the post partum quickly.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 28 at 2015 12:58 PM

2015-04-28T12:58:10-04:00

I'm in the sand box again with my 4th child on the way. My wife stopped working after #2 bc childcare was getting expensive. We also have my family to help us since i've been gone every other year. Got to love them deployment babies lol.

Response by MSgt Dwyane Watson made Apr 28 at 2015 2:17 PM

2015-04-28T14:17:20-04:00

I feel you pain, look into getting an au pair to live with you while you are gone and maybe even when you are home. This is different than a nanny and would usually live in the house with you. When my son was born we lived on a DMAFB and we had another military spouse watch our son, they are used to extended hours. This helps but they also have family and lives of their own. Good luck in your search.

Response by 1SG Robert B. made Apr 29 at 2015 1:24 PM

2015-04-29T13:24:56-04:00

I would strongly recommend not taking a baby on deployment. Hope that helps!

Just kidding. When I was a drill sergeant the hours were much like your wife's. Get a list of approved child care providers from the CDC on post and do some selective interviewing. Talk to the references. At home providers are much more flexible when it comes to hours, and more likely to be willing to adjust to the parents schedule. When I was stationed at Ft. Hood my wife and I looked in to at home providers for a back up to our normal day care. One of the people we interviewed was keeping a single mothers child for her for her whole deployment. Best of luck and please look at the pregnancy as a blessing as all things happen for a reason!

Response by Stacy Jones made Apr 25 at 2016 5:10 PM

2016-04-25T17:10:19-04:00

I would suggest reaching out to other military families, and absolutely you'll be better off finding someone who you'd trust to be in your home, and with your children. Also, try to find someone who would agree to a weekly, or bi-weekly pay arrangement, instead of an hourly salary.