Barracks Inspection Horror Stories: What's the worst you've seen?

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 29 Apr 2015 06:52:27 -0400

What is the most ridiculous / disgusting /etc thing you have ever witnessed during a Barracks Inspection / Health and Welfare. We all know Soldiers can be creative, so share you stories here.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 29 at 2015 6:55 AM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 29 Apr 2015 06:55:14 -0400

2lbs of rotting (black & maggoty) hamburger meat, bowls of curdled milk, plus 6 random people living with the soldier. My boots stuck to the floor & I had to burn my uniform because the smell wouldn't wash out.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 29 at 2015 7:00 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 29 Apr 2015 07:00:02 -0400

I remember on my first AIT in Fort Lee, VA, 1988, while the CO was inspecting our barracks, he found like 12 cigarette butts on the black coat, empty smokeless tobacco cans and candy wraps inside the drawer of a soldier. Of course the Drill Sergeants had a very good time smoking the crap out of the guy...

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 29 at 2015 7:48 AM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 29 Apr 2015 07:48:36 -0400

A family of five with two cats and a dog living in a single NCO room.

Response by CSM Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 29 at 2015 8:26 AM

CSM Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 29 Apr 2015 08:26:07 -0400

I found a surgical glove on one of my Soldiers shelf when I was a platoon sergeant conducting a pay day activities barracks inspection. Being well versed in the Infantry way of life I asked him why he had a surgical glove on his shelf before I touched it. He told me that a stripper gave it to him after she wore it when she stuck her fingers up his @ss

It was not pretty after that.

Response by LTC Stephen C. made Apr 29 at 2015 8:35 AM

LTC Stephen C. — Wed, 29 Apr 2015 08:35:04 -0400

SFC Private RallyPoint Member, at OCS in 1972, the barracks were completely destroyed by the Tactical Officers every day. I mean every day! We would cover the barracks windows with blankets to hide the light and literally work through the night to generate a good result. After a week, the barracks looked really good every morning. No matter. They'd come in for their inspection the next day, and literally destroy the barracks again. Happened all the time!

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 29 at 2015 8:36 AM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 29 Apr 2015 08:36:28 -0400

I had just became a team leader and was conducting my very first health and welfare in the barracks rooms within that first week. My first two soldiers were great… maybe too much alcohol.. really whatever issues that they had, was forgotten as soon as I walked into my PVT Problem Child’s room.

One of my soldiers had multiple carcasses of rotisserie chickens in his room stuffed under the bed. The smell of rotten food was horrible. He had bags of trash stacked in a corner of his room, because he didn’t want to take his trash to the dumpster. Maggots were EVERYWHERE. I don’t think I have ever been that sick ever, but I stayed in that room and scrubbed it with simple green and bleach and helped him clean it.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 29 at 2015 8:39 AM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 29 Apr 2015 08:39:38 -0400

I have seen the worse things in family housing!!!!

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 29 at 2015 8:44 AM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 29 Apr 2015 08:44:09 -0400

8 large black trash bags stopping the door from opening all they way, 22 bottles of Axe body spray taking over the counter, tooth brush on top of an open deodorant bottle, dirty dishes everywhere, human waste in the toilet and S&M posters on every wall - this was all in one room.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 29 at 2015 8:45 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 29 Apr 2015 08:45:39 -0400

Going through one of my Soldiers rooms he had so much trash on the floor you couldn't walk through it. It was so bad that when I opened his closet there was a Mt. Everest pile of trash. Now, when I say trash I literally mean what we all throw away in our trash cans to include rotten food. The smell was so overwhelming I kept gagging while cussing him out. His refrigerator looked like a 5th grade science project dealing with mold. His toilet was black, not white (how is that possible, I don't know). Needless to say, I made him take everything out of his room and disinfect every thing to include himself.

Response by SGT Dylan Epp made Apr 29 at 2015 8:45 AM

SGT Dylan Epp — Wed, 29 Apr 2015 08:45:18 -0400

A dildo along with some narcotics and all the accoutrement to go with it...blew my mind. Needless to say said Pvt got chaptered.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 29 at 2015 8:50 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 29 Apr 2015 08:50:13 -0400

Not a personal story, but one of my NCOs told me about this Soldier he had in Germany. During an inspection, they found the toilet clogged. When they checked the rest of the room, they found Aafes bags full of human feces.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 29 at 2015 8:59 AM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 29 Apr 2015 08:59:16 -0400

A castle built out of empty cases of beer and liquor, A couple females living with him that worked a couple strip clubs, a motorcycle taken apart all over the room, used "love gloves", cats with litter boxes that were full (and the smell to go with it), and various other common issues.

Response by PO3 Steven Sherrill made Apr 29 at 2015 9:13 AM

PO3 Steven Sherrill — Wed, 29 Apr 2015 09:13:39 -0400

Unfortunately, the worst thing that happened during a health and warefare check was a suicide. One of the students at my A School hanged himself while we were at PT. He was found while we were all awaiting inspection.

Response by PO3 Steven Sherrill made Apr 29 at 2015 9:20 AM

PO3 Steven Sherrill — Wed, 29 Apr 2015 09:20:29 -0400

We were being torn apart by our RDCs, and one of the recruits in my division had left the notebook we were required to carry at all times. To make it worse he had the beginings of a love letter he was writing in the notebook. The RDC uttered this epic line after reading the letter "Dear Honey, I'm Horny." We are all in the push up position trying not to laugh. Didn't work out so well.

Response by SPC Jan Allbright, M.Sc., R.S. made Apr 29 at 2015 11:33 AM

SPC Jan Allbright, M.Sc., R.S. — Wed, 29 Apr 2015 11:33:59 -0400

Besides having an empty beer can being the only thing in the trash can ... nope .. not a thing.

Response by CPT Bruce Beattie made Apr 29 at 2015 12:25 PM

CPT Bruce Beattie — Wed, 29 Apr 2015 12:25:11 -0400

In the late sixties and in the seventies the army tradition of Saturday Morning Inspections existed. Barracks were inspected every Saturday morning almost without fail in every stateside unit I was with. Never had those problems. In high school and college the cadets rooms were inspected every day informally by the Tac Officers in addition to the formal stand beside your bunk inspection every Saturday. Whether living in the BOQ or off post at Ft. Campbell in 1967-68, junior officers were required to hang out in the mess hall until the inspections were completed before being released for the weekend. On duty as a reservist in 1978, I was detailed to conduct a health and welfare inspection of a Armored Cavalry Troop's barracks. After finding small stashes of weed in various places in a few of the rooms, including one above the ceiling tiles, the active duty SFC with me, asked, "What do you do for a living?" I had to tell him that I had been on the security department of a well known university. "That explains it!" was his comment.

Response by SMSgt Dan Powell made Apr 29 at 2015 1:17 PM

SMSgt Dan Powell — Wed, 29 Apr 2015 13:17:11 -0400

In '81 I was on a health and welfare check in our unit barracks with our First Shirt. In one room, a young E-4 had what appeared to be a small TV with rabbit ears on top. I looked a little closer and busted out laughing. He had camouflaged a microwave oven! The First Shirt had been looking at it for several months and I just happened to notice it. The First Shirt had a heckuva time keeping a straight face when he called him into his office. He chewed him out and made him remove the oven. Smart kid!

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 29 at 2015 7:44 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 29 Apr 2015 19:44:43 -0400

Ft Stewart 1995. Soldier had his live in "girlfriend". Hide in his wall locker during Monday morning room inspection.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 30 at 2015 7:41 AM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 30 Apr 2015 07:41:19 -0400

I was in Diyala Province in 2008 when one of the Cavalry Troopers in the unit I was supporting failed to return from leave. His Platoon Sergeant asked me to assist with inventorying his gear since there was a shortage of NCOs. Upon cracking open a footlocker, it was found to be nearly half-filled with (ahem) flesh-lights. If you don't know what that is, google it on your non-Army computer. Old boy appeared to have collected all of them. The PSG, not knowing what it was, picked one up with a puzzled look and a "WTF..?" and in the dark in the light of our headlamps, "pixie dust" sparkled out of the (umm) orifice. Apparently, this trooper had not adapted to the water shortage and not yet devised a good way to clean his stuff up after use.
Not wanting the PSG to make a mistake, I suggested he secure a pair of latex gloves before going any further. No way was I going to do anything but hold the clipboard. It took him over a half hour to compose himself. Watching him try to pick through that footlocker with a long M-16 cleaning rod was pretty priceless.
On the inventory sheet, I dutifully desribed in fine Army Jargon what each item was. Example:
"Personal stimulation device, Jenna Jamison's @$$, blue, one each" (many are modeled after certain "model's" body parts).

He showed up two weeks late from leave with some story about his girlfriend leaving him. I have NEVER seen anything like the smoke show that Soldier got repeated in my Army career.

Response by CPL Jay Freeman made May 1 at 2015 3:44 AM

CPL Jay Freeman — Fri, 01 May 2015 03:44:38 -0400

I was told the worst found was nude photos but not just any nude photos it was Polaroids of him getting bent over by another guy and we'll yea this was before it was a don't ask don't tell life style. The other was we where at ft Lewis getting ready for Iraq a guy came back with strippers panties they where signed. Saying I hope you have a safe return so the rest went out and started collecting as many as they can

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made May 6 at 2015 3:23 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 06 May 2015 15:23:53 -0400

Found a few disturbing items once.. In the soldiers desk drawer I found a ball gag, nipple clamps, leather underwear and a vibrator... All he had to say was that "I wondered where that stuff was at"
PSG told him to get rid of that crap and that was all that was said about it hahahaha

Response by CPL Brendan Hayes made May 6 at 2015 3:51 PM

CPL Brendan Hayes — Wed, 06 May 2015 15:51:54 -0400

Standing in for my section chief who was on leave, I had to walk through for the guys in my section. The kid's room was pretty squared away. Some minor gigs here and there, but nothing too bad. When the 1Sgt told him to open his wall locker, the kid looked really nervous really fast. Doing as he was told, he opened the locker and stepped back. There were almost no clothing items in the locker. Instead, there were three giant stacks of porn. By giant I mean at least four feet high. It was literally thousands of dollars worth. I turned to look at the kid, and his head was hangin so low it was amazing. Top looked at the private, looked at the locker, looked back at the private, shook his head and closed the locker. Top walked out of the room saying "We need to find this kid a girlfriend...and fast. Untill we do, PT three times a day to help him work off some of the extra 'energy' he has. Get rid of that junk." I was trying really hard not to laugh.

Response by SSG Paul Setterholm made May 6 at 2015 7:27 PM

SSG Paul Setterholm — Wed, 06 May 2015 19:27:23 -0400

Basic training. Someone got caught with a candy bar. We had "bed drills" carry beds,lockers, everything down to ground floor. Empty them. Carry everything back upstairs. Then put everything back in the lockers, make the beds etc.

Response by SSG Roger Ayscue made Jun 21 at 2015 1:40 AM

SSG Roger Ayscue — Sun, 21 Jun 2015 01:40:45 -0400

We had a General Officer named Crocker. Major General Crocker was inspecting our unit's barracks and in the room across the hall from mine, the inhabitant had been sneaking a shot or twelve from a bottle of German Schnapps he had brought back from Germany with him. So he was a bit ...well he was blistered to tell the truth....and he thanked the General for all the great recipes and wonderful cookies his wife, Betty, made.....I almost had a freaking aneurysm trying not to laugh so badly. Betty Crocker....Priceless. Thank Betty for the Great Cookies...To this day I can not look at a bag of Oatmeal raisin and not start laughing

Response by PO1 John Miller made Jun 21 at 2015 3:20 AM

PO1 John Miller — Sun, 21 Jun 2015 03:20:19 -0400

I've answered knocks at my barracks room door wearing nothing but underwear, and it was a female doing room inspections. I was pissed because I had a sleeper's pass signed/approved by my CoC taped to my door as I was coming off a 12 hour mid shift.

The female said "you need to get some clothes on." I said "Do you not see my sleeper's pass?" She left.

Response by SSG Skylur Britz made Jun 21 at 2015 10:14 AM

SSG Skylur Britz — Sun, 21 Jun 2015 10:14:21 -0400

None as bad as some of the others here, worst I had was a soldier who didn't think his stuff should go in shelves or the closet so he had about two feet of stuff (not trash) all over the floor. We made him take everything into the hallway and then put It back in his room one item at a time.

Response by SSG John Jensen made Jun 22 at 2015 11:15 PM

SSG John Jensen — Mon, 22 Jun 2015 23:15:50 -0400

way back during GI party in barracks on Ft Bragg, I realized that if these NCOs didn't smell pine oil, that it wasn't clean, no matter how good it was, so I decided to play with this.
I bought a bottle of bleach, and Sunday nite right before lights out, checked with the other guys in the room that they were done with the latrine, and sprinkled the bleach all over the floor and closed the door. The moment I got up Monday, grabbed a mop and mopped up the bleach and closed the latrine door.
Minutes later right on schedule SSG Skare burst into the room, went straight to the latrine, opened the door caught whiff of the bleach, slammed the door shut without even looking inside, and shouted "IT'S CLEAN"!!

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 11 at 2015 6:49 PM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 11 Jul 2015 18:49:48 -0400

When I was station in Germany many years ago, the OPS NCO had, for some reason, a footlocker filled with porn magazines. With an upcoming unit inspection by the BDE, including the main offices, the Sergeant asked me to hide the box down in my NBC room.

Not the first time I as a member of the Specialist Mafia had been asked to hide some things in my room, I agreed and took the box into safekeeping. I wish I knew more about pad locks then, don't know why I never locked the case. Over time, I think we had a FTX or something, I came to forget about the box'o'porn. A couple of months later, I left to attend PLDC. During one of my opportunities to call back to my unit I was told that the XO (and Chemical Officer) had gone through my NBC room to try and find some piece of equipment. She was wanting to talk to me about the "unusual contents of some box" that was in the room.

The conversation with 1SG and LT was very interesting, to say the least. I can only say that the box did not remain long in the room.

Response by PO3 Aj Grieves made Jul 18 at 2015 4:59 AM

PO3 Aj Grieves — Sat, 18 Jul 2015 04:59:28 -0400

My roommate at NAS Miramar back in 93. He had a very awkward way of making our Command Master Chief run away from inspecting our room. Of course we always did what we could to be 4.0.. He worked nights and I worked days at that time. Everybody in our squadron understood Michael Paul was looking to be a professional body builder. My man invested in a lazy boy.. Made sure he got caught butt naked during inspection on his lazy boy month after month.. Never got the white glove..lmao

Response by SPC Tiffany Ivanov made Jul 21 at 2015 10:59 PM

SPC Tiffany Ivanov — Tue, 21 Jul 2015 22:59:51 -0400

Just to set the scene, we were at Fort Sam Houston. Brand new Air Force dormitories instead of barracks. Surprise inspection at 0400. We are all posted up in the hall waiting for ours to be over, still slightly drunk and super confused about the life choices that brought US to this point, when we here One of the SSG next door yell out, "WHAT THE F*CK PRIVATE?! "
naturally, i'm curious so I peeked around and almost pissed myself. A puppy laying in the floor chewing on a gigantic hot-pink dildo. Clearly the female was lonely and ran out of batteries because she had adopted a cute little mutt that she kept hidden in her closet for several days. I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 2 at 2016 9:22 AM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 02 Mar 2016 09:22:08 -0500

basic training. we had to ruck the base perimeter because a certain retard had been "dipping" in the middle of the night and spitting down the bedpost. the pressure finally overcame the seal at the bottom and DS walked in to find a large pool of dipspit in the floor.
My first roommate at first duty station was a lazy, filthy individual. never washed his uniforms. swear to God, one morning I saw him ironing his BDU top and when the iron touched the cloth a green cloud erupted.

Response by SSG Ryan Moore made Mar 2 at 2016 10:18 AM

SSG Ryan Moore — Wed, 02 Mar 2016 10:18:45 -0500

This really doesn't count per say for a barracks inspection other than me having to get out of my room because of my barracks inspection and encountering what I encountered...
In 2010-2011, I was stationed at Camp Red Cloud, South Korea; and was given a very nasty room. How nasty was it? Let's put it this way, if me, being a country boy, am afraid of stepping on my own bedroom and bathroom floor barefoot ... We have issues.
So when I got assigned to my room, the first thing I noticed was that the floor was extremely dirty and when I say extreme, I mean extreme. I tried to get the grime/dirt of this floor with everything minus ammonia... Simple green, bleach, scouring powder, windex, all-purpose cleaner. Nothing would get this crap up. Anyway, I was determined not to let this stop me from staying in this room. Next thing I noticed as I was unpacking my kit, I opened one drawer and found a black light, the next drawer a box of condoms, and the next drawer a box of tampons. Quickly discarding those, I continued on my trek to clean this room. I then moved my bed (which was the last straw), I found a bloody tampon on the ground that was old and nasty as well as a condom. Needless to say, that was it, I went to the barracks manager and demanded a room change. His response was that I needed to wait until there was room available in the new barracks and to tough it out. I did but needless to say, I didn't shower without my flip-flops, I refused to walk barefoot, and I had bought a crap fitted sheet, several regular sheets, and my comforter and I refused to sleep on this bed unless I was on top of my comforter as I was afraid that if I used the black light on my bed, I'd be afraid to see what this light revealed. Thankfully, I was only there for about a week and I moved into a newer room and I was quite pleased with the newer room. BUT, this was probably one of the most disgusting rooms I have ever encountered minus one other one but that's another story....

Response by PO3 Private RallyPoint Member made May 29 at 2016 11:06 PM

PO3 Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 29 May 2016 23:06:14 -0400

When I was on holds at TSC Great Lakes, I lived in a multigender barracks. I was on watch at the intersection of the male to female area and they did a health and comfort inspection. I was standing there reading a book or something to keep my mind from drifting of to sleep as they was inspecting the rooms. I can remember if it was a MA1,FC1, or ET1 or whatever his rate was, but the next thing I know I hear ,"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT!?" And see a giant vibrator get thrown out of the room. Needless to say I was trying g to not laugh my ass off as the inspector continued to yell at this chick

Response by PO2 Josh Taylor made Mar 16 at 2017 6:38 PM

PO2 Josh Taylor — Thu, 16 Mar 2017 18:38:40 -0400

I saw a female Petty Officer doing an berthing reach into another females rack and inadvertently grab a still moist vibrator. Bare handed. The reaction was one of the funniest things I have ever seen.

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 16 at 2017 6:49 PM

MSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 16 Mar 2017 18:49:17 -0400

I once failed a barracks inspection. I didn't get it. I had some dust in the wax in my sink area. So, the 1stSgt made me do the re-inspections with him on the whole barracks. I was horrified at what I seen that day. Some rooms were difficult to even walk into, they smelled of such stench. Things growing in the fridge were not unusual. One room was cool though, it was covered in plants and a large fish aquarium; had no idea that was allowed. One room had a blow up doll sitting on a stationary bike. None of the rooms were anywhere close to being as clean as my room, none of them. We done my room last. I still didn't get it. Then he tells me, my room is the inspection room. He uses my room when to show off when their are visitors and it wasn't up to its usual par. REALLY?

Response by Cpl Tom Surdi made Mar 16 at 2017 7:15 PM

Cpl Tom Surdi — Thu, 16 Mar 2017 19:15:38 -0400

I found a very large dildo in need a good cleaning in one Male Marine's room, no he did not have a girlfriend at the time. I also found a trashcan of used tampons once. Needless to say, both were extremely embarrassed when I told them about it.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 16 at 2017 7:33 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 16 Mar 2017 19:33:45 -0400

Not a barracks inspection and no where near as bad as these other stories. But my brigade had moved to another brigade's AO after they were deactivated. So naturally we took over their barracks. So I sign for the room from the barracks manager (coincidentally it was my POS NCO) not thinking to do a pre inspection. So I get to my room and find that the refrigerator had Chinese food sitting there. For months. Juice is all over the bottom. Microwave wasn't much better. The bedroom had trash everywhere. Under the bed... dirty panties with more trash and a PS3 controller. Took me 3 days to sanitize that room.

Response by SPC Jeffrey Reese made Mar 16 at 2017 8:04 PM

SPC Jeffrey Reese — Thu, 16 Mar 2017 20:04:24 -0400

In 1986 in AIT we had a guy that went out on Friday night and had a few to many. Just so happens we had a command inspection on Saturday morning. Well this individual came in about 0600 (oh by the way we had bay barracks). He apparently had to urinate really bad so he went into what he thought was the latrine which was another section of bunks and proceeded to urinate until the guy in the bunk he was Pi$$ing on woke up. Needless to say he wasn't happy but we kept them separated so nothing happened there. The real funny part was seeing the drunk guy in dress greens standing inspecting in July in Aberdeen MD. 98 deg temp He was almost as Green as his uniform and sweating he had soaked through his greens. he ended up getting in big trouble over that one.

Response by TSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 17 at 2017 12:39 AM

TSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 17 Mar 2017 00:39:48 -0400

Several come to mind, but the top two:

My First Sergeant in Japan did a no-notice white glove, and he caught me as I was walking out the door. Slapped the clipboard to my chest and says, "You be my note taker and your room will be spared." Can't really say no to an offer like that, so I agreed. Basic stuff at first, dirty, sure, but can't really say anything out of the ordinary. Then, he tried his master key card in a room and the light goes red. He tried a few more times, doesn't work. He knocks on the door, yells, "First Sergeant, room inspection!" Nothing. Tried the card. Still red. Well, our dorms had back up physical locks in case the key card readers went to crap, so he popped the key, opened the door, walked in. And this just awful smell of fecal material hits us. And right there in front of us is a plastic bag full of human excrement. Turns out this Airman's toilet had broken, so he was literally going in a bag. And this guy was CE (one of only like two in our dorm building), so, knowing an inspection could be at any time, he changed the card reader's settings, not knowing there was a regular old tumbler lock just in case.
He got all sorts of destroyed, naturally. Paperwork, loss of all sorts of privileges, even got his badge taken away for a while while he went through a mental evaluation. No idea what ended up happening to him after, but I didn't see him after that.

Second happened while I was a dorm chief at my second base. I was in charge of a dorm full of tech schoolers, the only one on base, so I had the responsibility to keep a couple vacuum cleaners in my room. If a dorm resident needed it, I had them fill out a log and they would use it, then return it. Well, I was going through the logs one day and notice one of the vacuums hadn't been returned in over a week. So I went to the Airman's room to ask about it. Pretty standard transaction, he gave me the vacuum, I took it back, signed it off, voila. Well, the time then came where I had to vacuum my own room. I fire up the vacuum, and it has this really high-pitched whine, like something is clogging the line. I stop it, take the attachments off, check the bag, etc. Can't really see a problem, so I turn it back on. Still that high pitched whining. So I check the filter. There this weird white powder in it, so I go to my faucet and run it under the water.
And that's when that unique odor hit me. As a male, I am familiar with that odor. That white powder USED to be a certain white fluid. This guy had been using my goddamn vacuum as his girlfriend for a week! I was a bit torn; the vacuum was a dry vac only, it was not made for liquids, and the filter was pretty much ruined (he had used it a LOT). So I had no choice but to report it to the dorm manager, who hit him with destruction of government property. When I got the log sheet back, the reason for destruction was, "Unauthorized intimate use."

Response by SGT Marc Tyler made Mar 17 at 2017 8:49 AM

SGT Marc Tyler — Fri, 17 Mar 2017 08:49:10 -0400

While in AIT at Goodfellow AFB in '00, we had a surprise inspection. The evening before roommate decide he would go out drinking(which was allowed) and was dead to the world. While in the process of falling out, he decided to piss his pants. Once he got himself somewhat squared away Drill Sergeant shouts from the top of the 3rd floor for him to get back upstairs and explain all of the bottles in the barracks.
Watched him trying to stand up straight without falling over, still wet from pissing himself telling our Drill Sergeant.... "what bottle?"

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 17 at 2017 4:31 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 17 Mar 2017 16:31:53 -0400

cockroach as big as my fist sitting on top of washing machine CAMP LEJEUNE, 5TH BN 10TH MARINES, that sucker owned it

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 17 at 2017 4:38 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 17 Mar 2017 16:38:33 -0400

sailor went awol, past 30 days, had to inspect and inventory his gear, found a journal, it contained some of the most disgusting writing I've ever seen, his preference for little boys and visiting off limit clubs, turned it into nis, I really hope they caught him

Response by TSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 18 at 2017 1:09 AM

TSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 18 Mar 2017 01:09:48 -0400

When I was a senior airman, we had a young A1C that had not reported for work by 0900 despite numerous phone calls to his room by myself and another one of the senior airmen in our shop. Finally our supervisor, an E-5 staff sergeant decides that he's going up to the dorm and had me come along with him. We got to the young A1C's room, banged on the door for about 10 minutes, calling his name. The staff sergeant was close to calling the first sergeant and security forces when the young airman finally came to the door, disheveled and in his boxers, unshaved and his room was a wreck. Pizza boxes, coke cans and clothes thrown all over the room. The staff sergeant begins to lay in to the airman, wanting to know what his excuse was. The airman in all seriousness looks at the sergeant and says, "I had bad Taco Bell last night and have been sitting on the shitter." Personally I wasn't sure there was good Taco Bell but that's neither here nor there. Anyways the staff sergeant told him he had 10 minutes to get his ass to work in proper uniform to include proper grooming. At the end of the duty day the staff sergeant told the airman his room better be spotless the next day because he was coming back over to inspect the room. I went back the next morning with the staff sergeant and while I wouldn't say the room was spotless it was a dramatic change from the day before.

Response by PO1 Tony Holland made Jul 27 at 2017 5:00 AM

PO1 Tony Holland — Thu, 27 Jul 2017 05:00:18 -0400

During the first phase of Nuclear Power School at Mare Island in 1968 I was tasked with inspecting the barracks after the compartment cleaners had finished their morning work.
Everything went swimmingly until I entered the second floor. Since the heads were already secured one tardy individual from the class ahead of mine was shampooing his hair in the water fountain. The cleaners had to be recalled to clean up his mess. When the potential health violation was mentioned he tried to shrug it off. If I remember correctly, he spent the next few weeks permanently assigned to the cleaning crew. LCDR Rabbah Rona Matlow CMDCM Gene Treants

Response by CMDCM Gene Treants made Jul 27 at 2017 12:54 PM

CMDCM Gene Treants — Thu, 27 Jul 2017 12:54:53 -0400

Actually, when I was at Great Lakes and had a Female Company, the heads really were STINKY at first when I took over the company. I discovered the problem was twofold: 1) There were floor drains that had dried out and the traps needed to be filled with water since the decks were not swabbed (mopped) with enough water to flood them. 2) The Urinals had never been flushed and hence the traps were leaking sewer gasses into the heads.

The solution was rather simple. 1). Use more water and fill the floor drains. 2). Flush each Urinal on a monthly basis. Yes, a check sheet!

Response by SMSgt Jeff Kyle made Oct 21 at 2017 5:28 PM

SMSgt Jeff Kyle — Sat, 21 Oct 2017 17:28:28 -0400

I had just arrived at my first duty station in the Marine Corps. I was still in processing when the powers that be decided to have a health and wellness inspection. I and one other were assigned to a room. Since I was a noob, I had nothing to worry about. My roommate, on the other hand wanted to be a merc once his tour was over. He'd already secretly started stockpiling stuff for his great adventure. This included, rifles, pistols, knives, ammunition (enough to start a war) and powder. In his wall locker. Right next to my bunk. Oh, and the piece de resistance, written on a can of black powder was the message "die SgtMaj die". I was craping myself thinking this dude was going to kill me in my sleep! And of course they wouldn't let me move out, no way! Nobody else wanted to move in with him!

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made May 4 at 2018 5:40 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 04 May 2018 17:40:58 -0400

Had a cook at one time store in his locker, food plates piled all the way up in his wall locker, floor to the Very top. At which time the 1SG opened his locker and it feel towards him, pouring trash and food everywhere. What a smell.

Response by SPC Ryan Larsen made May 8 at 2018 12:13 AM

SPC Ryan Larsen — Tue, 08 May 2018 00:13:51 -0400

While stationed in Germany, my roommates and I used to push all the wall lockers to the side of our room and arrange our bunks so they formed a single bed in the middle of our room. We also left a neatly organized stack of porn mags on single night stand. This was shortly after a deployment in Iraq and our barracks were being updated so we were living four to a room. Other than that our room was immaculate and we were all cosidered very squared away E-4's. Our first sergeant would always get a good laugh and simply say: "Don't ask, don't tell, isn't that right sappers?". Our squad leaders and platoon sergeant would just shake their heads and quietly tell us to unfuck ourselves as they were leaving the room. We did it for every health and welfare inspection after that for the remainder of our stay at that duty station.

Response by SPC Russel Brock made May 8 at 2018 8:35 PM

SPC Russel Brock — Tue, 08 May 2018 20:35:08 -0400

Strip clubs in the military? Tell me it ain't so.....lol!!!

Response by Sgt John Koliha made May 10 at 2018 8:31 PM

Sgt John Koliha — Thu, 10 May 2018 20:31:24 -0400

“Junk on the Bunk” back in the mid-60’s. Whole process was a horror. Years later I still dream about it and wake up in a sweat! I think I’d rather face combat than another IG “Junk on the Bunk.”

Response by SSG Rick Miller made May 10 at 2018 9:58 PM

SSG Rick Miller — Thu, 10 May 2018 21:58:45 -0400

During an inspection in Germany, full barracks, open wall locker, with my Battery Commander and First Sergeant in tow. We get to one room in my section, and my super trooper is standing dog dick tall. On the other side of the room, my First Sergeant is checking Private Snuffy. He's got an overflowing laundry bag in the bottom of his locker that wasn't there the night before when I did my precheck. Top asks well wtf is this? Snuffy slips a hand into his pocket, and replies "Well Sarge, it's like this." Top loses his mind, and comes off with one of the best lines I have ever heard, to wit:"Sarge? Sarge? Sarge is that fat, one tooth having motherfucker in the funny papers. I AM A FIRST SERGEANT." It went downhill from there. Almost bit a hole in my lip to keep from laughing.

Response by MAJ Steven Genser made May 16 at 2018 9:46 PM

MAJ Steven Genser — Wed, 16 May 2018 21:46:40 -0400

Back in 74 I had a jerk in my platoon who was set on getting out of the Army. He thought he was another Klinger. I was checking foot lockers on one side of the room when I heard my Psg start screaming . Moving over to see what was going on there was my Psg pointing at the jerks foot locker a huge turd , a REAL ONE! While I'm trying to prevent him from killng the jerk the jerk was just laughing his ass off. After 30 days of extra duty jerk got his wish. General discharge less than honorable.

Response by MSgt Mark Tabacheck made Jul 16 at 2018 7:05 PM

MSgt Mark Tabacheck — Mon, 16 Jul 2018 19:05:17 -0400

At parade rest for an inspection

Response by Lt Col Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 15 at 2018 11:48 AM

Lt Col Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 15 Aug 2018 11:48:42 -0400

We found bullets with the commander and the chief’s names etched on it.

Response by SrA John Monette made Oct 26 at 2018 7:14 PM

SrA John Monette — Fri, 26 Oct 2018 19:14:59 -0400

who the hell taught that soldier to wear a beret?

Response by SPC Pauline Gilroy Badenski made Oct 26 at 2018 8:58 PM

SPC Pauline Gilroy Badenski — Fri, 26 Oct 2018 20:58:08 -0400

I was getting reclassified for my MOS. Second hitch. Barracks inspection with Class A’s. So per regs I’ve got all my qualifications awards on my uniform. Expert if rifle and hand grenades. Captain takes one look and asks how I got them. Duh! Then spots my crossed cannons from my prior MOS. Wanted to know why I was wearing that. It’s my MOS until I pass this course. Worst CO ever. Gave me nothing but hell about everything. Never mess with a woman who had a NCO dad!

Response by PVT Mark Zehner made Oct 29 at 2018 12:14 PM

PVT Mark Zehner — Mon, 29 Oct 2018 12:14:50 -0400

Hilarious!

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 29 at 2018 12:42 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 29 Oct 2018 12:42:09 -0400

While stationed in Korea in 2003, a meth lab. While at ft bliss, a rat in the freezer.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 29 at 2018 12:59 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 29 Oct 2018 12:59:50 -0400

Anyone else notice the jacked up beret in the stock photo?

Response by SSG Joseph VanDyck made Oct 29 at 2018 1:16 PM

SSG Joseph VanDyck — Mon, 29 Oct 2018 13:16:56 -0400

12 rattlesnakes in a large beer cooler( pre YETI). The SGT that lived in the room had caught them the day before (Sunday) and couldn't get them to his brothers house near Bragg before the monthly Monday morning inspection by the SQDN CSM. Classic. In LRS, we were always the red headed step children of 1st SQDN 17th CAV.

Response by SFC Benzell Vereen made Oct 29 at 2018 1:41 PM

SFC Benzell Vereen — Mon, 29 Oct 2018 13:41:18 -0400

I was the senior SFC in my battery and the 1SG was a complete fuck nut, I wondered who tied his boots in the morning sometimes... With that being said the Soldiers always came to me to avoid talking to him if it was possible so I knew 99% of the junior enlisted pretty well. Doing one of our pre, pre, pre, pre-CSM barrack inspections he finds a laundry hamper with a set of sweaty PT's in them. I knew the Solder was a gym rat so it didn't surprise me, but got me was the conversation that followed:
1SG: What is this shit Spc
SPC: Ummm.... This is dirty laundry composed of 1 sweaty shirt, 1pair of sweaty shorts and 1 set of sweaty socks 1SG.
1SG: Well I can see that, why is it dirty?
SPC: Ummm, I sweat alot when I work out 1Sg
1SG: What happened your maid didn't teach you how to do laundry?
SPC: (looking at me with the WTF face) No 1SG, she wouldn't allow me to help with the laundry unless I was naked but I didn't do it because I didn't want my dad to think I was banging my little brother's mom"
1SG: (Looking dumb founded) Oh... ok... ummm, carry on...
SPC: ROGER 1SG...
(Me to Soldier): I'm smoking the piss out of you if he wants to ask me if you're serious..... Ended smoking his smart-ass for about 30 mins before I cut him loose at noon on Friday

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 29 at 2018 2:32 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 29 Oct 2018 14:32:54 -0400

Watched a 2LT come unglued during a wall locker inspection on a SP4 once. Off duty the SP4 volunteered with the local Civil Air Patrol where he was a CAP 1st LT. There in the locker all nice and correctly hung were the Army uniforms with SP4 rank and next to them were the CAP uniforms with the silver 1st LT bars on them.The 2LT started to scream about the SP4 impersonating an officer and what not and how he was going to hammer the SP4. The 1SG and CO had to square away the 2LT with regard to CAP rank versus military rank when the issue hit their office.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 29 at 2018 3:01 PM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 29 Oct 2018 15:01:50 -0400

Back in my NCO days I was doing a health and welfare inspection. I opened up on pvts locker and found a bag of huge dildos. One of them had to be at least 30 inches long.

Response by 1SG James Moorhead made Oct 29 at 2018 4:48 PM

1SG James Moorhead — Mon, 29 Oct 2018 16:48:00 -0400

On the way up the stairs to the units barracks, which were on the second floor of the Bn HQ, with the Bn CSM and the Bde CSM, there was a butt plug hung over the railing on the second floor. Needless to say, no one would claim it.

Response by CPT Jeff Robinette made Oct 29 at 2018 9:20 PM

CPT Jeff Robinette — Mon, 29 Oct 2018 21:20:38 -0400

This really isn't a. Item I found in an inspection but it was an issue I dealt with in Germany.

I got pegged as a Line of Duty Officer for a Soldier that had gotten into an accident while on leave. He did not leave the area around the Kaserne we were assigned; that was the first thing I thought was strange.
When I met with the BN XO I was given very limited information and told to go the local dispensary and see the ER Dr on duty. He was the same Sr. That treated our soldier. He said that he presented with severe abdominal pain and cramps.
He then showed me an X-Ray of the soldiers abdomen. It looked normal to me except for a piece of metal rhat was just wrong.
The ER Dr. pointed out the structures in the belly. I began to see what was what. Still I couldn't figure out what that piece of metal was.
In time I realized that the metal object was inside his colon. So my question was what was it and how did it get there?
The ER Dr. pulled out a clear plastic bag with a full Michelob Bottle inside. The soldier gave no answer as to what happened or how that beer got shoved up his ass.
Not in the Line Of Duty.

Response by PO1 Michael Turnbeaugh made Oct 29 at 2018 9:28 PM

PO1 Michael Turnbeaugh — Mon, 29 Oct 2018 21:28:31 -0400

While on shore duty in San Diego, we had a young SN (E3) with two cildren. She got married and became eligible for base housing. About six months later husband moves out and shortly thereafter she doesn't show up for work for a couple of days. Master-at-arms and I get tasked with going to housing for a welfare check. We walk in the door and roaches slowly get out of the way. They obviously were used to humans. Go in the kitchen and find pans of food on the stove and dirty dishes in the sink and on the table. It looked like they just got up in the middle of a meal and walked out. We never saw her or estranged husband again. As far as I know she is still in deserter status. Fortunately I didn't have to inventory the contents or clean up the place.

Response by PFC Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 29 at 2018 9:56 PM

PFC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 29 Oct 2018 21:56:38 -0400

Happened to me in AIT this past May. Random Health and Wellness inspection, 0430. Everyone was lined up in 10 minutes ready to start the day. Pvt snuffy decides she’s going to hmm play with herself if you will, and she got caught masturbating instead of changing. Idk what made her do that instead of getting ready for the inspection. Needless to say she got in trouble. My platoon found it hilarious after we found out about it.

Response by GySgt Randy Stiltner made Nov 5 at 2018 10:55 AM

GySgt Randy Stiltner — Mon, 05 Nov 2018 10:55:15 -0500

The worst I ever encountered was a private awaiting discharge he had a pocket vagina and a bong in his wall locker plus he had sold all of his uniforms except one set of BDU

Response by PO2 Eric Lozaga made Nov 7 at 2018 7:19 PM

PO2 Eric Lozaga — Wed, 07 Nov 2018 19:19:26 -0500

Here is a story about me. I was an E2 probably... shore duty out in Hawaii. I had just bought computer parts and was really excited to build it. I had the next two days off so I had stayed up all night working on it. Which was fine, except all of the boxes were packed with packing popcorn.. which ended up ALL OVER the room. I was like fuck it, I'll clean it tomorrow and passed out, probably around 3 or 4am. Around 7am someone bangs on my bedframe and wakes up. "Room inspection" I looked up half asleep, looked at my popcorned and computer parts covered room, then back to the E6 and fell back asleep.

Later that day I was told I was going to have a reinspection the next morning. So I get everything cleaned up, except the popcorn. That popcorn was a huge pain in the ass to pick up, so me being a problem solving E2, I go grab the vacuum.. but the popcorn was too big for the vacuum.. so I fixed it by making the popcorn smaller. I jumped on it, grounded it all up with my feet and hands until it was tiny. So my plan worked great.. except now the vacuum wouldn't pick it up because the popcorn was too small or light or who knows.. so the next morning comes and my E6 comes to check the room... he goes WTF!?? so i had to explain what happened. I forget how I cleaned it all up, I think I ended up having to sweep it.

but I always did horrible in my room inspections.. hell, my room now almost 20 years later is a mess. I was damn great at my job though. I was put up for sailor of the quarter a few times. The last time I had a late night doing something and had to rush to get my uniform ready for my SOQ interview.. apparently they gave me a surprise inspection during my interview, and it failed bad. Apparently that didn't help my cause.

Another time I was going on leave for the week, and had to leave in a hurry. My room was still a mess with clothes and whatever everywhere. (just messy, not nasty like health code violations) Anyways, there was no time to clean it before my flight, so I left a note by the door saying something like "If you are doing a room inspection, I apologize for my room being a disaster, I am on leave and head to leave in a hurry, but feel free to enjoy these cookies" I never got in trouble for that, so I don't know if they did an inspection or not. lol

Response by SPC Jim McKinney made Nov 8 at 2018 12:44 PM

SPC Jim McKinney — Thu, 08 Nov 2018 12:44:02 -0500

When I was in W Germany, a guy in our company wanted to impress the Colonel who was inspecting us the next day...it was common knowledge to use Johnson's Wax to polish the floor...and lighting it on fire to melt it...as it made the floor shine...this guy used a full container of wax...and knocked it over, setting the floor on fire...he didn't get it out quickly enough...burned two nice-sized marks into the floor...and there was no way to get 'em off...had a hell of time explaining that one...and ended up paying for the damage...along with an Article 15...

Response by Vonice LarsenBailey made Nov 18 at 2018 12:17 PM

Vonice LarsenBailey — Sun, 18 Nov 2018 12:17:35 -0500

The absolute worst room was discovered by accident. Korean War era barracks. The dirty bird in question was the reason an entire company had to haul all their furniture out of the barracks and scrub their rooms. Building smelled like pine oil and the slight odor of sewer. Have the plumbers check the systems, because you know. Yes, the guilty party was getting room checks and there was some aroma but it looked clean. The other half of the room was empty. Then one hot (yes Alaska gets hot days) July day the disaster was uncovered. Soldier was on leave and had left fans blowing out toward the open window. Had to check the room so a new sildier could be moved in. Let's just say it was a scene out of CSI when the fridge and "empty" wall locker was opened. 5 hours of cleaning. I took pictures (CYA ya knoe) lost count after bag 33 of the giant trash bags was hauled out. Apparently she was a horder of all things fluid and garbage. No she didn't get kicked out. That person's name is never mentioned. The hilarious part. She tried to file an IG complaint. The disc full of pictures documenting the beginning to end of the discovery turned the complaint into, be glad you are not in greater trouble.

Response by SSG Ralph Watkins made Nov 19 at 2018 6:46 PM

SSG Ralph Watkins — Mon, 19 Nov 2018 18:46:12 -0500

My signals intelligence unit in Hawaii had a health & welfare check in the barracks. The MPs brought in the drug sniffing dogs thru every room. The room directly below mine lived two female electronics repair technicians. When the MPs opened the door, they had to hold back the dogs. They feared for the health & safety of the dogs. It was that filthy, gross, & rancid smelling. Weeks worth of trash, used tampons & period pads were falling out of the trash & even stuck the wall. They hadn't cleaned their toilet in ages either. It had all kinds of bugs too. The immediately moved to two female E-4s out of there & condemned the room until it be professionally cleansed & sterilized. From that point on, nobody ever mentioned that female soldiers were any better than male soldiers.

Response by MAJ Anne McGee made Nov 27 at 2018 12:42 PM

MAJ Anne McGee — Tue, 27 Nov 2018 12:42:38 -0500

I know this is a generalization, but cooks keep the worst rooms in my experience. As a newly minted HHC Company Commander, my First Sargeant and I embarked on our first barracks inspection. Everything was going well until we came to one of the cooks rooms and, I kid you not, it was almost a hazmat situation! The stench and flies from food that had been sitting out was so overwhelming we couldn't even go in! I'm not sure how that NCO could stand the place! Top called over to the Dining Facility to have the young NCO (E5), sent over with his Chain for a royal ass-chewing and cleaning party. I was invited back to inspect the room at the end of the day and it was a completely different room. During subsequent inspections I always cringed before going into that room and was tempted to bring along my protective mask just in case... ;-)

Response by SSgt Vincent Sarno made Nov 28 at 2018 10:56 AM

SSgt Vincent Sarno — Wed, 28 Nov 2018 10:56:35 -0500

I was a Aircrew Training Instructor with the 552 TRS at Tinker AFB. We had a lot of students in training at the time. On a Friday, my NCOIC and I decided to do a random dorm inspection. Being Air Force, the troops all had their own rooms. Most of the rooms were near perfect. We finally got to one female troops room... We had to force the door to open wide enough for us to step into the room. To this day I'm not sure if she had a Motor-cross event in the room or was raising pigs in it. BUT, it was like walking into a barn. Mud (I hope) all over the place and I couldn't identify where she slept or if there was any furniture in the room... My NCOIC had to calm me down, I was hotter than steel in a forge. She earned the call-sign "Pig-Pen" after that day. and a few days extra duty...

Response by SPC Tim McKenzie made Nov 28 at 2018 5:52 PM

SPC Tim McKenzie — Wed, 28 Nov 2018 17:52:34 -0500

Brigade CSM did an inspection he clearly didn't want to do. After 3 days of cleaning, polishing, etc., he walked through our room to the bathroom and wiped his finger across a water pipe. "Room is not ready for inspection. We couldn't believe it. Same thing in every other room. Our 1SG, not a good one on his best day, lost about 3lbs of ass during his ass chewing. Naturally that rolled downhill too.

Response by SPC James Seigars made Nov 29 at 2018 7:47 PM

SPC James Seigars — Thu, 29 Nov 2018 19:47:22 -0500

I was a barracks inspector on Ft Rucker and on Ft Meade between 2008-2012 when I retired. Really glad that was the only five years I did it. I went in to the AIT barracks on Fort Rucker and found CARPET glued to the WALLS in all the rooms of FIVE buildings. I was told it was supposed to reduce noise in the room, which I didn’t buy as it was only on the wall beside the door and only about 4’ x 5’ total. Anyway, a lot of the students had been complaining of headaches, dizziness and similar symptoms. When I pulled back one of the corners of a carpet a cloud of dust came out from behind it. Once it settled and I looked behind it I saw it was green mold. I told the chain of command and reported it to the fire department in my inspection report. They ended up having to refurbish all five of the buildings which meant they had to keep one barracks empty at all times until they were all complete. In Fort Meade there was actually Black & Green mold in the basement of our barracks around the frame of the old vault door that used to be the armory for that unit. The vault door itself was literally falling down and was barely held up by the door frame. All the people on the first floor of the building had been getting respiratory problems for some time & people on the other two floors were also starting to get headaches & such from the mold. I actually had to condemn that building & luckily the Marines were moving into new barracks the next cycle and their old ones were a lot newer than our Army ones (1940’s compared to 1970’s or 80’s). They were nice enough to let the Army have those barracks to help save money on the upcoming year’s budget.

Response by SFC Tyrone Brown made Nov 30 at 2018 3:33 PM

SFC Tyrone Brown — Fri, 30 Nov 2018 15:33:32 -0500

I remember one of my duties as a new sergeant was performing room inspections. I had to accompany 2 privates to clean the room of a soldier that was dishonorably discharged.

Upon entering the room, we were greeted with a foul stench and there were melted candles everywhere. Plus he took his bunk apart and had his mattress on the floor.

While watching the soldiers GI the room, I come across a large jar full of cloudy fluid. I pick it up and cant determine if it's a jar full of spit or a jar full of semen. Needless to say I halt the GI party and go notify the company commander and 1sg that we will need the health department to examine the room before we could continue cleaning. Yuck!

Response by CSM Thomas McGarry made Dec 2 at 2018 10:27 AM

CSM Thomas McGarry — Sun, 02 Dec 2018 10:27:51 -0500

I'm sure other have experienced this! in the late 70s I was stationed in Berlin Germany and for about two weeks prior to an IG Inspection we spent all day and well into the night preparing with painting the barracks, cleaning, stripping and buffing floors, painting rocks etc. When the actual inspection actually occurred I think they spent all of ten minutes total inspecting the barracks and individual lockers etc and then left! Such is life I guess!

Response by CWO3 Bryan Luciani made Dec 3 at 2018 11:02 AM

CWO3 Bryan Luciani — Mon, 03 Dec 2018 11:02:28 -0500

Here's one for you Navy types: I was an E5 in charge of "compartment cleaners" when we were pulling into Seattle for the Sea Fair in 1986 on a DD (destroyer). I was keeping people out so that the XO could inspect our space prior to liberty call. I sat down at a table and lit a smoke (you could in those days). I heard the aft port water tight door open up, and I yelled, "Compartment secured". I heard someone say, "It's OK son". I spun around and freaked as the Commander in Chief of the Pacific Fleet (CINCPACFLT), and his four shiny stars, walked right by me, as I yelled "Attention on Deck" to myself, with a lit cigarette in my hand. He just kept walking through, completely ignored me, opened the forward port hatch and left. No entourage, no staff, no nothing. Left me standing there in shock.

Response by SFC William Stephens A. Jr., 3 MSM, JSCM made Dec 3 at 2018 11:02 AM

SFC William Stephens A. Jr., 3 MSM, JSCM — Mon, 03 Dec 2018 11:02:40 -0500

1988 my DS found buttons undone in my locker and since I was Platoon Sergeant they dumped every locker over and pilled all our boots in big pile we had to find our own boots.

Response by SSG Glenn Williams made Dec 3 at 2018 12:10 PM

SSG Glenn Williams — Mon, 03 Dec 2018 12:10:44 -0500

Way back in the 80s I used to go home every weekend. Sunday night I would come back and the barracks were trashed! The outdoor trashcans were overflowing and there was a dumpster less than 30 feet away. Plt Sgt gave one warning to get it cleaned up and keep it clean "or else". Next weekend comes, I go home, come back Sunday to the usual trashed barracks. Monday morning, Plt Sgt has an aneurysm and kicks everyone out of the barracks, has them set up shelter halfs and makes them sleep outside for the week since they do not deserve the barracks. I would have had to join them but the rest of the platoon told the Plt Sgt that I was not there during the weekend and did not make the mess. Aaah, the good ol' days! :)

Response by PO2 Benny Wallace made Dec 3 at 2018 1:44 PM

PO2 Benny Wallace — Mon, 03 Dec 2018 13:44:47 -0500

We had a barracks inspection when I was in the Navy, done by an officer and the CMAA.......found a set of butt beads in a guys desk drawer. in a latex glove. The officer wanted to know what they were, so the guy told him, also how they were used. The somewhat pale officer wanted to know why they were being kept, was told that it was a reminder to always tell the girl how to use them............NEVER pull them out like you're trying to start a McCullough chain saw.................

Response by SPC Leslie Weber made Dec 5 at 2018 3:12 AM

SPC Leslie Weber — Wed, 05 Dec 2018 03:12:53 -0500

I was in AIT our Barracks were AF barracks (Training was at an AFB) well it was May of 00’ my Grandma was terminal and had a stroke . It was luckily a 4 day so I was able to take a pass barring I passed room/uniform inspection. I once overed my room and shared latrine with the room next to mine there was just myself in one BR and this stupid C*nt in the other . It was probably the most spotless I’ve ever cleaned or will in my life. This nasty bitch left a huge giant green logee in the shower. My DS lost his shit! Let’s just say this dirty bitch got hers once I got back from my pass! My grandmother died about a month after I went my PCS..

Response by PO2 Willis Linn made Dec 5 at 2018 10:23 AM

PO2 Willis Linn — Wed, 05 Dec 2018 10:23:45 -0500

At the end of the Vietnam war I was a barracks Sargent with two platoons under my watch, after having warned the boys that a sneak inspection was coming in the next week I was shocked to be standing beside my CO as he opened a locker and sticking inside was a 6 hose water-pipe, shocked was not the right word LOL

Response by CPT Chris Swatty made Dec 6 at 2018 2:42 PM

CPT Chris Swatty — Thu, 06 Dec 2018 14:42:58 -0500

So, way before I decided to go to OCS I was a PVT E0 at Ft Ben Harrison Indiana. I had just got there for AIT after having severely tearing a ligament in my left ankle (story about that as soon as the string "what's the craziest thing you did in basic" comes up :-). I was on CQ during the day when everyone was in class when 1SG came up to me telling me to get a pen, some paper and follow him for barracks inspection...
Nothing worth noting until we got to the female bay on the 3rd floor (nope, wasn't infantry). We came up on one soldier's wall locker who had turned her combo lock to look as though it was secure but wasn't. 1SG: "well what do we have here....?" When he removed the lock and opened the doors it was clear she had it setup beautifully for inspection..... That's when Top commenced to taking EVERY piece of gear, throwing it on the bottom of the wall locker. Then he took her laundry soap powder and dumped it on top. Then he took her shampoo, and every other liquid female thing and poured it over top....
Then he simply picked up the lock, looked at me and smiled, secured the wall locker and moved on.

Response by SGT Dave Tracy made Dec 6 at 2018 4:50 PM

SGT Dave Tracy — Thu, 06 Dec 2018 16:50:51 -0500

As a Team Leader, I have had to conduct barracks inspections, but never saw anything nearly as "colorful" as many I have read here today. I just want to say that it's threads like this, that make RallyPoint, SO fun!!!

Response by SPC William Szkromiuk made Dec 8 at 2018 5:39 PM

SPC William Szkromiuk — Sat, 08 Dec 2018 17:39:20 -0500

Being "old school". I ask, What is the UNIFORM of the day in that picture? I have no idea what you call UNIFORM anymore. I know they are not fatigues anymore...BDUs?? And the troops are in dress uniforms? WTFO? Yep I am OLD SCHOOL!

Response by Cpl Glynis Sakowicz made Dec 9 at 2018 10:06 AM

Cpl Glynis Sakowicz — Sun, 09 Dec 2018 10:06:29 -0500

My husband and I were totally different animals when it came to inspections. I was the "Wash, iron, polish, and hope for the best," but my Type A husband never leaves anything to chance. For six months, he bought extra gear a little at a time. He checked out his field gear, cleaned it, repaired it, even painted the dang E-Tool!

He spent hours at the metal shop, creating a stand for his medals and his rank and brass. The man has always pushed for perfect, that morning, the inspectors came thru, then ten minutes later, several more came thru, and he was left with a toothy smile by the General. Yes, he received the highest marks possible, but in essence, he cut his own throat, because each and every time a troop was needed for any inspection, he was given the honor. Me? I sat back and gave him a sweet smile, as he carried his tub totes of perfectly folded, perfectly marked gear out for yet another inspection, while I watched HBO.

Response by SSgt Daniel d'Errico made Dec 10 at 2018 2:51 AM

SSgt Daniel d'Errico — Mon, 10 Dec 2018 02:51:40 -0500

During my tour in Japan, the squadron first sgt was checking my room. Since rooms were interconnected by the shower/toilet the two airman in the next room could be heard talking. It seems there was a not so quiet discussion about what to do with a female airman who spent the night with both of them. She was very hung over. The first sgt. unlocked the connecting door and walked into their room. There he found both airman in their sunday best, the female in a blanket and the room a mess.

Response by MAJ Bob Firth made Dec 12 at 2018 10:28 AM

MAJ Bob Firth — Wed, 12 Dec 2018 10:28:11 -0500

That PV1 who has a totally fubar beret.

Response by CW3 Robert Steinen made Dec 12 at 2018 11:42 AM

CW3 Robert Steinen — Wed, 12 Dec 2018 11:42:19 -0500

After reading the comments I don't understand how a good NCO could let their troops live in some of these conditions. It's not a lick on the soldiers, but on the leadership of squad and platoon sergeants.

Response by SPC Jasen E. made Dec 15 at 2018 10:37 PM

SPC Jasen E. — Sat, 15 Dec 2018 22:37:13 -0500

The story I have is not of barracks inspection, but of on base housing that was found to be in disarray when the monthly exterminator came to visit. He let himself in the back door of the dwelling one morning and noticed a stench that he couldn't place. As he stepped into the kitchen he noticed 2 counters and both sinks full of dirty dishes and rotting food. Dishes on the dinner table were the same way and it appeared that the food had been there for endless days. He stepped into the living room and realized that there was dog crap all over the rug. So the smell he was smelling was a combo of urine and feces and rotting foods. He immediately left and contacted the CO who was rightfully livid. One thing led to another and they decided that the soldiers from this soldier's unit platoon would help with clean up, so we were sent to the house. It was even worse than what I've described. The dog crap had been crushed into the carpet to the point you couldn't tell it was carpet. It was from one end of the house to the other. In the hallways there was so much crap on top of crap that it was just being kicked to the side to clear a place to walk. As we passed back into the back bedroom there was a young child from this soldier, sleeping on a palette of blankets on the floor, surrounded by dried, petrified doc crap all around her and a fresh pile less than a foot from the child's face. My CO saw this and said, "Hell, no. His soldiers were not cleaning this up." He immediately contacted up his entire chain of command, all the way to the Installation commanding General, who said if it's the last thing he did, he would see to it that that soldier was dishonorably discharged. Of course a lot went on behind the scenes with Child Protective Services and all that, but I left that off for brevity. The children were immediately taken into a safe, clean environment and the cleanup was solely done by the offender. We never saw that soldier again.

Response by CPO Chris Kellar made Dec 19 at 2018 8:38 AM

CPO Chris Kellar — Wed, 19 Dec 2018 08:38:00 -0500

Boxes and boxes of condiments from many different fast food joints. I just had to laugh.

Response by Cpl Dan A. made Dec 19 at 2018 11:47 AM

Cpl Dan A. — Wed, 19 Dec 2018 11:47:10 -0500

I'm shocked I dont see any "phantom shitter" posts. I thought this was a service wide phenomenon. Where an immaculately clean barracks, somehow has a pile of shit somewhere amazing like the middle of a catwalk in plain view to anyone, but nobody ever catches this "shit ninja" doing the dead, though it was clearly done 5 minutes before inspection...

Response by PO1 John Y. made Dec 20 at 2018 3:49 PM

PO1 John Y. — Thu, 20 Dec 2018 15:49:45 -0500

An E3 tried to hide his girlfriend (civilian) in his locker. She had come to visit him but couldn't afford a hotel room, so she stayed in his barracks room. He told her if someone came by (inspectors) while he was at work, for her to hide in his locker. Well, as you know, you can't lock a locker from the inside AND an unlocked locker is inspect-able. The Master Chief opens the locker, the girl screams, and the E3 goes to captain's mass...

Response by SSG Gerald King made Dec 20 at 2018 4:47 PM

SSG Gerald King — Thu, 20 Dec 2018 16:47:32 -0500

In Germany in 1968, we had a PFC trying to get a section 8 discharge. During a barracks inspection, he had a shoe box with holes in it in his wall locker. Naturally, the Company Commander had to see what was in the shoe box. When he opened the shoe box, he found a dead bird in it. He asked the PFC what a dead bird was doing in his wall locker. At that point, the PFC starting screaming and crying that is poor bird had died! The CO just laughed and told the PFC it was not going to work! He signed up for 4 years and he (the CO) was going to make damn sure that he served every day of it.

Response by CPT Earl George made Dec 22 at 2018 8:15 PM

CPT Earl George — Sat, 22 Dec 2018 20:15:01 -0500

At ROTC Advanced summer camp (1970) at IGMR(Indiantown Gap Military Reservation), I was appointed cadet platoon leader on Sunday night. We had a barracks inspection scheduled for 0700 Monday morning by the cadre. For those who are familiar with IGMR, the barracks are of WWII vintage. The major walked up the steps to the barracks and I reported to him. He returned my salute wearing "WHITE GLOVES" and walked straight to the first window ledge he saw. He ran his index finger across the sill and showed me dust. He said," SEE THAT," I said , "yes sir." bottom line, not many of you have seen white glove inspections.

Response by COL Jack Taliaferro made Dec 23 at 2018 5:09 PM

COL Jack Taliaferro — Sun, 23 Dec 2018 17:09:56 -0500

In '67 at Ft Polk during basic, we were standing inspection with weapons (M-14s) in the barracks. We stood at the end of our bunks with weapons at order arms. As the inspecting officer stepped in front of you, you came to inspection arms and immediately recited your weapon serial number. Normally that number is just enumerated such as 183746287 or so on. Across from me was a short little hispanic solder who was trembling, scared to death. When the inspector stepped in front of him, he came to inspection arms and said "one million, two hundred" at which time the officer shouted "WHAT". Even more scared the trainee started again, "I mean one hundred thousand, 2 hundred and" at which time again the inspector shouted "What". This time the trainee, entirely frustrated, began once more, " I mean ten thousand......the inspector and the accompanying NCO burst out laughing as did most all of us which resulted in our getting to enjoy about 10 minutes of front lean and rest. Great memories.

Response by SFC Joh Williams made Dec 24 at 2018 9:59 AM

SFC Joh Williams — Mon, 24 Dec 2018 09:59:33 -0500

We had the ANCOC SGM inspect our BEQ at fort Gordon. Keep in mind we paid $8.00 a day for maid service.

Response by TSgt Doug Young made Dec 25 at 2018 12:55 PM

TSgt Doug Young — Tue, 25 Dec 2018 12:55:04 -0500

While attending Air Police School at Lackland, AFB we had a second LT named Lt Pile, (guess what his nickname was) who had a bad habit of smashing the toes of spit shined shoes/boots on the bed posts (Open bay) if he found one thing out of wack, I'm talking some dust under your shoes, etc.
He finally got drummed out for punching a troop in the mouth. Glad to see that ass leave!

Response by SGT Walter Lester made Dec 26 at 2018 11:08 AM

SGT Walter Lester — Wed, 26 Dec 2018 11:08:37 -0500

While in NCO school, I pulled barrack inspection for my PLT Sgt who was conducting inspections to the guys in formation. I went into the barracks to find all the shoes and boots not polished or even dusted off,and not lined up for proper display. Bunks not even made up with dirty bed cloths on them.I found the butt cans all dirty and not cleaned out.Wall lockers and foot lockers open and in in disarray. I took all the shoes and boots,threw them out in the middle of the floor and tied all the laces together with knots.I emptied the but cans all over them and pulled the bed cloths into the floor.
I went back outside and told the PLT SGT what I found and did .He told the guys to drop out and get back in the barracks and clean it up. He told them they had 15 minutes to do that and fall back out in formation. All we seen was ass hole and elbows for 15 minutes.

Response by MSG Thomas Currie made Dec 27 at 2018 2:45 AM

MSG Thomas Currie — Thu, 27 Dec 2018 02:45:25 -0500

Not a "Horror" Story but probably appropriate to some of where this thread has gone....

Sheridan Kaserne, Augsburg Germany. 1972 or thereabouts.

The Air Force was in the process of taking over Sigint for all the services, so the ASA was being rolled into something, and a good sized piece of it was being moved to Sheridan Kaserne, forcing 1ID to juggle units around because we were losing two of the three story barracks buildings but not losing any people. This was especially annoying to the troops living in the newly-crowded barracks because the division used almost all its building maintenance funds to totally renovate the two barracks that were being turned over to the Air Force. EVERYTHING in those two barracks was replaced with all new fixtures, windows, doors, etc. meanwhile we couldn't get so much as a 5¢ rubber washer for a leaky faucet in any of the barracks that the Division was keeping.

Comes the date when the Air Force is supposed to arrive. They send a couple of officers and a civilian to inspect and sign for the two buildings that the Army had just totally renovated. The division was confident that the Air Force would accept the buildings. The Air Force team never set foot in either building, they took the keys, signed for the buildings, and passed the keys to the civilian - who turned out to be from the contractor that the Air Force had hired to completely gut and totally renovate both buildings to meet Air Force standards. Yes, the Air Force had already let a contract for a total renovation of both buildings sight unseen, just on the basis of knowing they had belonged to the Army. Contrary to the timeline that the Army had been given, it was another six months or so before the ASA people moved in.

The buildings were between our barracks and our mess hall so we went by them every day, and we got to see all the brand new stuff being ripped out and tossed into dumpsters to be hauled off.

I believe I already mentioned that OUR barracks were somewhat overcrowded. In our case this included a platoon moving into what had been the attic of the pre-WWII German Barracks. I was one of two E5's in the platoon -- we were the only NCOs in the platoon living in the barracks other than our Platoon Sergeant who had a large private room on the lower floor. The rest of the platoon lived in an open bay with some half-assed dividers between each double bunk. The two of us had a "room" which consisted of the attic level landing at the top of the stairs, walled off by our two wall lockers plus the wall lockers of the NCOs who didn't live in the barracks. Since this was the attic, the windows were dormers and we had one of these dormer windows in our "room." We still had the curtains from the full size window in our previous room. The only way the curtains fit was by hanging them at the top edge of the dormer itself, not at the window. This left a empty space about two foot square between the curtain and the window where the dormer poked out from the slanted roof that was our combination wall/ceiling.

One good thing about the weird "room" we had was that it generally didn't get closely inspected - often not inspected at all - because the LT and the CO were both confident our stuff was straight (which is usually was) and the Platoon Sergeant generally didn't bother climbing the stairs up to the attic other than for Saturday morning inspection of the platoon bay.

One weekend, walking past the Air Force renovations in progress, we noticed a brand new commode still covered with plastic wrap that the contractors had taken out as part of gutting the building before installing all their new fixtures. We brought it to our barracks and sealed the bottom with some silicone caulk and a piece of plexiglass that we cut to fit. We placed the commode in that empty space by the dormer, filled the bottom with water, and got two small goldfish from a pet shop in town. Even when someone came into the "room" they wouldn't see our fishbowl unless they opened the curtain. The goldfish often stayed out of sight in the lower part of the bowl, but they would swim up to the top when anyone was around hoping to be fed.

No one had noticed our fishbowl for several weeks. Then came one Payday morning, the LT and PSG were standing on the landing waiting for the CO to come inspect the platoon before releasing them for payday activities. Just as the CO got to the top of the stairs there was a loud noise outside the building so the LT and CO both rushed to look outside -- by looking out our window. They opened the curtain and found the commode.... "What???" Just as the LT was staring at the commode, the two goldfish swam into sight, which prompted another "What the...?" followed by a "Where did that come from?" We explained the what and the where. We didn't get in trouble, in fact the CO thought it was funny, but they still made us get rid of the commode and the goldfish.

Response by MSG Thomas Currie made Dec 27 at 2018 4:17 AM

MSG Thomas Currie — Thu, 27 Dec 2018 04:17:04 -0500

Many centuries ago I was a young SP5 Acting Sgt (a combination that only made sense in 1ID(Fwd)) in Germany. At that particular time and place, enlisted personnel were mostly "druggies" senior NCOs were mostly alcoholics and officers didn't give a damn about either as long as nothing happened in a way that they had to notice it.
I was actually pretty squared away (if you graded on a curve) and so was the other SP5 Acting Sgt who shared the room. No one would have mistaken either of us for Career Soldiers, but we got our jobs done and stayed out of trouble (more or less).
Meanwhile our Platoon Sergeant was the epitome of "tired old lifer" -- he had absolutely reached his peak as a PSG who was never going to be a 1SG. His main military accomplishment was that he was almost sober on Monday morning. This was in the days of "VOLAR" and he was 100% "Old Army." Zero leadership skills, zero interpersonal skills, could ALMOST read a manual.
He had told the LT that he dreaded coming into our room, especially first thing Mondays, because he never knew what weird shit we would have been up to. Now let me explain that "weird shit" was stuff like having had curtains made that actually fit the windows (and that happened to be in a really loud print), or bringing in a throw rug that covered almost the entire open space in the room (instead of the issued green 3'x5' rug), or having bed spreads on our beds (over the army blankets, which were properly made and tight). Needless to say he bitched at us and about us regularly, but we never did anything that was officially "wrong" so it didn't go anywhere. Meanwhile the company commander thought quite well of both of us. Our tanks were clean and well maintained, during the last gunnery we had been together as Tank Commander and Gunner on the tank with the "weakest" crew in the platoon and had come back with the highest score in the platoon.
The Division Annual General Inspection was coming up. The Platoon Sergeant wanted to make us "straighten up" our room but the LT talked him out of it. The LT knew we were within regs or at least close enough to not be badly screwed up, but the argument that he gave the platoon sergeant was that if our room failed the AGI then he could come down on us. When the day of the inspection came, our room looked like it always did: the floor tile was polished to nearly a spit shine, the rug was perfectly clean and vacuumed, the curtains perfectly even, the beds perfectly made (under the bed spreads), wall lockers perfectly arranged -- and we were in immaculate Class A uniforms. The stereo was playing very softly in the background so you couldn't hear it outside the room, but it was playing the Woodstock album on the reel-to-reel tape deck. We were the first room in our platoon to be inspected so the PSG and LT were waiting in the hall outside our door. As the inspectors approached, they came to attention so Mike and I came to parade rest until the inspector entered and the LT called us to attention. As I came to attention my hand brushed across the reverse button on the tape deck changing the music from Woodstock to Bach's Concerto in G Minor. The inspector walked in, looked around, lifted the corner of one bed spread and saw the perfectly made bed, and his first comment was "You guys believe in going first class" to which we both replied Yes Sir. He did find one thing wrong. The lighting in the room was a pair of 48" florescent lights at the ceiling, which were blindingly bright, especially when flipped on in the morning so we had wrapped the florescent tubes with pastel crepe paper to dim the amount of light. The inspector told us that paper touching the bulbs was a fire hazard. We immediately removed the crepe paper (getting a "corrected on the spot" notation). I had met the inspector before and knew he was 100% by the book, but approachable. So I had a small piece of the crepe paper in my hand and I asked the colonel if he had a lighter. He did, so I asked if he would try to set fire to the piece of crepe paper. He actually agreed, and went to the empty metal wastebasket and set the lighter to the paper. It would not burn. I had known it wouldn't because I had been careful to pick flame resistant crepe paper for the light. His response was 'I know what you're saying, but it's still against regulations." The rest of the inspection was uneventful.
Less than a week later, there was a memorandum to all units from Division Headquarters about barracks appearance standards. Most of the memo was a list of acceptable things troops could do to make their barracks more comfortable. It was an exact description of our room. The same memo listed ONE thing that wasn't allowed -- yes, you guessed it, crepe paper on light fixtures. Our company commander obviously recognized it because he personally showed Mike and I the memo before having the 1SG post it on the bulletin board.

Response by SP5 Michael Bednarck made Dec 27 at 2018 8:52 AM

SP5 Michael Bednarck — Thu, 27 Dec 2018 08:52:04 -0500

Let me start by giving you the lay of the land for my last duty assignment. Ft. Devens, Mass 1978. I was a SP-5 with about 9 months left in service. Ft Devens was a training base and as permeate party life was not as strict as students or even the regular Army. Upon signing in and meeting the CO, XO, and 1stSgt, my thoughts were - the CO policy was if it is illegal don't do it in my company area, The XO looked to be all of 16 years old, and the 1stSgt used to wear sandals
and love beads. This was not going to be a tough assignment. I got about 15 - 20 men heads up to a health and welfare inspection. Okay pick up the bottle of booze in my room and walk it out to my car. Quick inspection and no gigs. As the inspector was leaving I asked him if he would like a drink once he was through with his inspection. Now I wonder why I got out?

Response by Kathlean Keesler made Dec 30 at 2018 10:51 AM

Kathlean Keesler — Sun, 30 Dec 2018 10:51:57 -0500

Happy New Year RallyPoint - thanks for this “giggling” topic.

Response by MAJ Robert Whaley made Dec 30 at 2018 8:12 PM

MAJ Robert Whaley — Sun, 30 Dec 2018 20:12:47 -0500

In 1978 in Germany, we were recovering from field training exercises and were conducting an announced Health and Welfare inspection in the billets. I opened up a wall locker and found two ammo cans that were closed. When I asked the private what was in them he said they were clams he had got in the woods and that he was going to cook. Since it had been about three days since we were last in the bush I told him that they were probably bad and to get rid of them. He opened 1 can and the smell instantly enveloped the whole bay. Troops were diving out windows or trampling each other running for the door. It took days to even get back in the bay.

Response by SPC Joel Alioto made Dec 30 at 2018 11:32 PM

SPC Joel Alioto — Sun, 30 Dec 2018 23:32:17 -0500

I don't know if it is a horror story but yrs. later I find it funny.
I was a cook in 4 of the 29 FA in baumholder W. Ger. My job at the time was "midnight baker" I baked cakes, pastry, etc. My shift ran from 23:00 to 05:45. Then I was off till P.t. at 18:00. So finally, It was my 22nd birthday and I had the whole day and night off.
It is 06:45 and the door opens up. I am drunk in my boxer short and in walks the battalion commander, battery commander, Sergeant major, 1st Sgt etc.

The battalion commander LTC. starts screaming at me and asks " how in the hell is a soldier drunk at 06:45 in the billets on a Monday morning when it is a mandatory Battalion P.T. function and inspection? All I remember is I was trying to stand at attention, with my p@$6s sticking out of my shorts while on my tv Tracy Lords and Christy Cannon got it on . LOL
72 hour later I was reassigned to the motor pool and I then did P.T. with the battery after that.

Response by MSG Thomas Currie made Dec 31 at 2018 1:52 AM

MSG Thomas Currie — Mon, 31 Dec 2018 01:52:05 -0500

Opposite of an inspection horror story... Camp Casey Korea. Each battalion size unit in 2ID would stand a 'surprise' Division IG Inspection each year. The unit would be notified first thing Monday and the inspectors would hit the headquarters files and records, the inspection of personnel and equipment would start on Tuesday. For some units it really was a surprise. For others, not so much. 1-72 Armor was the only tank battalion in 2ID at the time. We returned from annual Tank Gunnery Qualification the first week of August 1976. When we returned from gunnery, we were one of only two units in the division who had not yet had their inspection -- the OTHER unit got notified for their inspection the Monday immediately after we got back from the field. Needless to say, we knew who would get hit the next week.

We were notified for our Annual IG Inspection on Monday 16 Aug 1976. Luck of the draw, C Co was the first line company inspected Tuesday 17 Aug 1976. Our tanks scored 96% for maintenance before any credit for stuff that was on our Dash 14's. On Wednesday all of USFK went to DEFCON ONE. Wednesday afternoon the Division CG asked the Battalion Commander if he wanted to delay the rest of the inspection and the Bn Cdr declined. The Bn finished the inspection while all of USFK was at DEFCON ONE.

Anyone else remember August 1976?

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 31 at 2018 2:09 AM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 31 Dec 2018 02:09:19 -0500

The soldier in the picture might possibly have the worst beret in the Army. His NCOs have failed him for allowing it.

Response by SGT Thomas Boudreaux made Dec 31 at 2018 10:31 AM

SGT Thomas Boudreaux — Mon, 31 Dec 2018 10:31:36 -0500

SGT. Boudreaux,
When I was a Sqd Ldr @ Fort Hood, I had a SPC from Asheville NC that had a latex P#$$# in his locker. 1SG found it. the SPC laughed. Not Good!!!

Response by Sgt Chris Fisher made Jan 1 at 2019 10:27 AM

Sgt Chris Fisher — Tue, 01 Jan 2019 10:27:30 -0500

We had an IG inspection at our barracks and a roommate used to dip Skoal. He had his spit cup in the top compartment of the wall locker/closet. When the inspecting officer, a major in full dress blues opened the door, the cup fell out spilling all over the front of the major's uniform. One of the worst days I ever had in the Marines Corps.

Response by TSgt Daniel Wareham made Jan 3 at 2019 11:58 AM

TSgt Daniel Wareham — Thu, 03 Jan 2019 11:58:18 -0500

I was assigned to assist with a Barracks inspection. It had been several months since the last time one had been done for reasons I was never told. Two rooms really stuck with me after all these years, over 20 years.
The first room was an absolute hog sty. I couldn't see the floor for all the trash on it. The bed linens were black in the center, working to a dingy gray at the edges. The pillow cases were the same. There was mold on the wall surrounding the A/C vent.
I got out my phone and took pictures of it to prove exactly how bad it was. I have no idea what ever happened to the airmen assigned to the room. I just was very glad that I would never get to see that sight again.

The second room was the exact opposite of the first. It was immaculate. The two airmen who lived in the room were the exact opposite of each other. One had the Pan-African flag over his bed with many Pan-African items on display on his dresser. The other airman had the Confederate Battle Flag over his bed. It was quite evident that these two Airmen had their stuff together and learned to live with each other despite their differences.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 13 at 2019 2:25 PM

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 13 Jan 2019 14:25:51 -0500

Some female recruits I had when I was a drill sergeant placed their, shall we say, "soiled" laundry in an unused wall locker and it was discovered during a H&W inspection.

Response by SSG Jeffrey Monk made Jan 14 at 2019 3:31 PM

SSG Jeffrey Monk — Mon, 14 Jan 2019 15:31:49 -0500

I was a new to Sgt to the Unit and there was a health and welfare due to a significant amount of piss test failures. Anyhow as I was lifting ceiling tiles out came a blow up doll with a strap on. The platoon sergeant laughed but the CO and I were pretty freaked. I never looked at that soldier in the same way and I have yet to forget it.

Response by SSG Armand Caron made Jan 27 at 2019 11:30 AM

SSG Armand Caron — Sun, 27 Jan 2019 11:30:40 -0500

Health and welfare inspection in an Artillery unit. One of the NCO's noticed that the screws were lose on the heating duct. Looking inside found an artillery charge for a 155. These are all supposed to be accounted for and destroyed if not used so I don't know how this troop managed to get a hold of it. But putting it in the heating duct? Yeah he was court martialed.

Response by SGT David Racette made Feb 2 at 2019 3:06 AM

SGT David Racette — Sat, 02 Feb 2019 03:06:43 -0500

All the years in the Army, 9nky had 1 basic

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 21 at 2019 11:26 AM

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 21 Feb 2019 11:26:47 -0500

My first IG inspection as a battery commander with Bravo, 3/79 FA, Giessen, WEST Germany. The inspection team did a random check of my soldiers' gear. I had a team of NCOs most commanders could only dream of having. With 1SG Don Hartwell and the rest of the team, I did not even worry about the inspection. First room the team entered and after reviewing one of my soldier's cot and locker, they found missing items. The inspector grabbed the soldier's barracks bag and reached into it. Things went downhill from there. Seems my soldier had an overly good time on the strasse the night before and got very sick in his bed. He tried to hide the evidence in his barracks bag. The inspectors seemed to lose their sense of humor for the rest of the inspection.

Response by Maj Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 3 at 2019 1:35 AM

Maj Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 03 Mar 2019 01:35:31 -0500

I was in a large (900 cops) Air Force Security police unit. We were up for the large SP unit of the year.
They sent in an inspection team as a part of the evaluation. Our Colonel told the staff he wanted them to show the team lead by a Colonel the best dormitory room in the unit. He also said he didn't want them seeing any risque posters in the rooms.
So, they did or at least the dorm room for one of the best airmen we had. I guess he had always received top marks on his inspections.
They opened the door to the airmen's room. A larger than life poster of a vagina was the first thing they saw.
Our Colonel was pissed and that is an understatement. The Colonel leading the evaluation was also an ordained Baptist minister.

Response by MSG Thomas Currie made Mar 4 at 2019 12:15 AM

MSG Thomas Currie — Mon, 04 Mar 2019 00:15:46 -0500

OK, one more room inspection story...
As I mentioned earlier, the early 1970's in Germany was not a time when great military discipline and bearing were common. Basically the only question was whether any particular soldier's drug of choice was alcohol, hashish, or something serious. Most units had invented a form of Don't Ask Don't Tell long before the military started using that phrase for a different issue. This was also the time when "VOLAR" was being introduced in Germany -- we were bombarded with articles in the Army Times and Stars & Stripes about all the great things that the Modern Volunteer Army was doing to make barracks life more comfortable for Soldiers -- except that those newspaper articles were all we ever actually saw of most of those "improvements" - which further contributed to low morale among the lower and middle enlisted grades as well as universal bad attitudes at both ends of the rank scale. Senior NCOs and field grade officers generally saw the entire Army going to hell around them, junior NCOs and enlisted felt they were being lied to and about, meanwhile company grade officers just wanted to survive (either make it through their obligated service or make it to and through a command without a career killing OER). It was an US vs THEM attitude at all levels.

One day the Company Commander and First Sergeant conducted a barracks inspection while almost everyone was in the motor pool. In one room they found about a 10 gram chunk of hashish out in the open in a common area of the room. The 1SG wanted to court martial all three soldiers who lived in the room - his argument being that since it was in the open in a common area, they must have all know about it and they all shared ownership -- besides that, he KNEW they were all druggies. The Company Commander knew they couldn't make a case stick for anything found in a common area while no one was in the room. He told the 1SG to just take the hashish and flush it. The 1SG wrapped the hashish in a handkerchief and took it with him. So far so good.

But when they got back to the Orderly Room, the 1SG told the CO that he had a better idea. They would wait a week or two until everyone forgot about the hashish having gone missing, then they would put it in the wall locker of one of the druggies before conducting a Health & Welfare Inspection where they would find it. The CO agreed to the plan and told the 1SG to lock up the dope until they could plant it! Problem is that the company clerk overheard every bit of the discussion. It wasn't his room but he was one of the "druggies" and he let the rest of the guys know what the CO and 1SG were up to.

In a more "military" setting, the logical thing to do would have been for the clerk to report what he had heard through official channels which would have probably gotten the CO and 1SG in trouble, but in that time and place no one trusted the chain of command. What actually happened was that someone made an anonymous tip to the CID hotline saying that the CO and 1SG were dealing to their own unit! I doubt anyone at CID really believed such an outlandish story, but they were required to follow up on it. One morning CID shows up at the orderly room and asks the 1SG who has the combination to the company safe. Now, in the real world, the 1SG and CO both had the combination and in most units so did the XO and sometimes even the platoon leaders, but under the regulations at the time, only the CO was supposed to have the combination to the safe itself. After being told that only the CO had the combination, CID asked him to unlock the safe and show them the contents. He tried to tapdance that the hashish in the safe had just been found that morning and they were "about to" call CID to arrange to turn it in. The CO, the 1SG and the hashish all left with the CID that morning and none of them ever came back to the company. I don't know exactly what happened but I do know that there wasn't any court martial. My guess is that they eventually told something close to the truth and got by with just being relieved because we got a new CO and a new 1SG that week and no one ever said anything about why.

Response by SPC Robert Coventry made Mar 4 at 2019 1:13 AM

SPC Robert Coventry — Mon, 04 Mar 2019 01:13:14 -0500

I graduated from Sniper school as an 11C so I thought it would be cool to layout my cool sniper rifle XM21 (Basically an M14 with fiberglass bedding) my LT came in and I said Sir you are not supposed to take the rifle apart because of the fiberglass bedding. LT said I used to have an M14 in OCS so he took it apart we all heard the fiberglass cracking and he shot the rod across the room just missing my roomate, my roommate said BS and left in the middle of the inspection. Funny now but i was pissed he took it apart

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 4 at 2019 11:03 PM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 04 Mar 2019 23:03:42 -0500

BN CSM BCT inspection. I had the good fortune of being the sole DS for the female platoon during my second cycle.
I had checked and double EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING, the night prior. As CSM begins, I'm thinking, this will be easy.
He slides out a 3 drawer chest from inside the wall locker, and out with it slides a 48DD bra. Not easily shaken, I show little response, and write it down. I thought, maybe she laid it in there last night, and it slide behind, and she forgot. No problem.
Very next Soldier, CSM opens 3 drawer chest, I notice the Soldier's face change just before he reached to open the top drawer. On top of the neatly rolled under garments is another neatly rolled pair of panties, complete with an obviously used feminine hygiene pad attached.... The pencil snapped in my fingers.
The inspection was immediately over, and surprisingly nothing much was said by the COC or NCOSC.
Me, on the other hand, well, I lacked that level of tact and discipline.
As soon as I got the platoon outside, I expressed to the used pad Soldier that I now fully understood why she was in the Army, .... "You're here because your mother didn't want your nasty self stinking up her house with.....
Admittedly, I would use a different approach today.

The upside, there always is, is I can still see the look on the CSM's face, and the hesitation as to what the he!! he should do. He froze in place for at least 10 seconds. His expression still has some smile value.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 4 at 2019 11:15 PM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 04 Mar 2019 23:15:28 -0500

Sgd Ldr, 82nd ABN, doing a quick pre-PT check, as was the standard. Hear noise in a wall locker and notice an "Oh sh!t expression come over one of the Soldier's face. His roommate's head dropped.
I slowly opened the wall locker to reveal a naked female. WTF Airborne!
Please don't be a CSM's daughter was the first thought. Tossed her a blanket and told him to escort her out of the barracks after the company had moved out for PT.
On the way out to PT, 1SG asked what I was cussing about so early in the morning. Trust me 1SG, you don't want an answer, but if you insist.... no, just handle it sergeant.

Response by LTC John Griscom made Mar 5 at 2019 7:42 PM

LTC John Griscom — Tue, 05 Mar 2019 19:42:42 -0500

While doing a "health and welfare" inspection of the troops billets in Vietnam, we came across an open container of marijuana. The soldier got upset and said we couldn't take it. We told him the only thing we couldn't do was charge him with having an illegal substance.

Response by SrA Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 13 at 2019 1:09 AM

SrA Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 13 Mar 2019 01:09:30 -0400

I had a roommate at Fairchild in Spokane, WA. I noticed every time I walked through the hall to get to my room (we had pod dorms meaning we had our own room but shared a common area), it reeked of body odor and rotting food. During a quarterly dorm inspection our MSG commander walked in his room and found clothes piled two feet high, blood in his sink and toilet, and a half eaten burger king burger that was at least two weeks old on his desk. He was then put on 12 hour shifts 7 days a weekk. Needless to say he didn’t last much longer in the Air Force and was discharged.

Response by SPC Jon Anderson made Mar 17 at 2019 4:41 AM

SPC Jon Anderson — Sun, 17 Mar 2019 04:41:54 -0400

1969 California Hunter-Liggett a surprise locker inspection 03:00 I had captured tarantula in a quart jar and left it on the top shelf. My locker was opened the jar lifted to the light bulb directly overhead and the spider raised up to look the inspector in the eye.... ( my locker never got checked again)

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 19 at 2019 2:31 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 19 Mar 2019 14:31:46 -0400

I dropped by the barracks one long weekend to check on the squad and make sure they were all still breathing. The first room I go into my guys had a skinned and gutted deer laying on bags of ice in their shower.
I was then Enthusiastically invited to a Venison and Beer party planned for that night.

Response by PO2 Steven Michaeli made Mar 22 at 2019 9:10 PM

PO2 Steven Michaeli — Fri, 22 Mar 2019 21:10:57 -0400

While stationed at RAF Mildenhall I was NCOD. There was a regular scheduled inspection of the women’s barracks; myself, the base commander, one of the squadron commanders and a female officer. I knocked on the door, announced the inspection team, unlocked and opened the door. Two women in the room were in the middle of an “activity”. I just stared slack jawed. The base commander reminded me I didn’t call the room to attention as if nothing was happening. I called the room to attention, the inspection took place and I wrote down the faults starting with, “Failure to come to attention and stand for inspection “. I was only 21 at the time (1982) and the female officer explained the women were obviously looking for a way out. Probably homesick

Response by CWO2 Richard Rose made Mar 23 at 2019 11:14 PM

CWO2 Richard Rose — Sat, 23 Mar 2019 23:14:38 -0400

I had a young sailor TAD to mess cooking and the MCPO in charge called me and wanted me to provide a replacement due to the guy's personal hygiene rivaled a pissed off skunk. His SCPO in my department wasn't available, so I told the MCPO to tell the sailor to meet in his berthing compartment at his rack and standby for a health and welfare inspection. His uniform reaked and I swear when opened his rack I felt a strong desire for my gas mask. I called the Chief in charge of the ship's laundry to arrange for the young man to report to the laundry to wash everything he had to include his filthy uniform he had on. It took several garbage bags filled smelling similar to septic tank gas. I told him to put on clean clothing every day and take a shower before all shifts. He was to report for inspection by a departmental 1st Class Petty Officer upon completion of the above. Ship's berthing departments are very cramped. I couldn't understand why his shipmates hadn't taken care of it before getting to my level.

Response by COL Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 1 at 2019 1:52 AM

COL Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 01 Apr 2019 01:52:03 -0400

Late 70s, Baumholder Germany. I'm assigned to the 56th General Hospital as the Orthopedic Tech and because I'm EMT trained, I help out with Medevac and Ambulance duties. One Saturday morning, we get a call of a soldier on the ground outside the 112th Engineer barracks on main post. We roll up and find a soldier, smelling of alcohol, unconscious and with broken wrists. Return to the Emergency Room, get X-rays and check for any wounds. It appears that he had fallen from one of the windows. He has two broken wrists and we have to transport him to Landstuhl for treatment and hospitalization. When we return, we learn the rest of the story.

Apparently, this 2LT decided to do an early Saturday morning inspection after payday Friday. The soldiers weren't happy with the inspection, so they put the 2LT in a wall locker and threw it out the 2nd story window of the barracks (former WWII barracks). They then went down to collect the wall locker and take it back to the second floor. Before they returned, they poured alcohol on him and left the empty bottle where he lay.

When the Commander arrived to assess the situation, he found the battered wall locker but did not find any soldiers claiming to have any knowledge of what happened (though many suggested that the 2LT had been drinking and somehow had managed to fall out of the window after walking into the wrong room.) Once healed, the 2LT was reassigned to another unit.

Response by SGT Jodi WittBailey made Apr 1 at 2019 2:51 PM

SGT Jodi WittBailey — Mon, 01 Apr 2019 14:51:01 -0400

2008 Paktika province. A room full of piss bottles. Used and full all over the room. Nauseating.

Response by Maj Randy Becker made Apr 1 at 2019 9:32 PM

Maj Randy Becker — Mon, 01 Apr 2019 21:32:59 -0400

During an early morning inspection with my First Sgt a crusty old brown shoe Chief.... I hear him yell out "now what he hell is this...." cleaned up a bit inside one of our airman's room was a lady trying to dress into her uniform. I thought I recognized her...She was the Squadron Commander Major of the Base Transportation Squadron. The Base Commander was not amused.....

Response by SFC Ernest Thurston made Apr 5 at 2019 10:24 AM

SFC Ernest Thurston — Fri, 05 Apr 2019 10:24:09 -0400

As a Drill Sgt I saw all kinds of creative things privates did to hide things. One private was to lazy to do his laundry. He was stashing his dirty laundry inhis pillow. I noticed that I never saw his laundry bag full of stuff and during one inspection I noticed that he didn't have the required number of socks and underware in his drawer. The kid later used the excuse that he forgot the prper way to tie his laundry bag at the end of his bunk and never could get a spot in line in the laundry room. He was just lazy and was sleeping with his headon a pillow of dirty shorts and smelly socks. When I got done explaining things to him in the front leaning rest he changed his ways. :-)

Response by SFC Ernest Thurston made Apr 5 at 2019 10:35 AM

SFC Ernest Thurston — Fri, 05 Apr 2019 10:35:26 -0400

As a Drill Sgt I have found all kinds of places privates would hide stuff, especislly candy. Here's a short list. Inside the bed post, in the ceiling tiles, inside detergent bottles. Females liked to hide stuff in kotex boxes or wrapped in dirty panties. They wrongly thought I wouldn't look.
One time I tricked them. I told them there was a battalion wide health and welfare with dogs and MPs coming through. I told them to get a trash bag and get all of their contraband out of the barracks and throw it in the back of my P/U truck, so they didn't get in trouble. In the end I had two big trash bags of mostly candy in my truck and I found all of their hiding places.

Response by CW3 Dan Mackey made Apr 8 at 2019 3:50 PM

CW3 Dan Mackey — Mon, 08 Apr 2019 15:50:04 -0400

The story I have is a bit different. Our battalion did monthly ruck sack runs, 40lb weighed after the run. If you fell out of two in a year you had to do remedial pt every day with the CSM and the weekend after the Friday run you had to do a full TA 50 inspection in your dress greens out on the lawn in front of the barracks. One of the privates in my platoon failed three runs. The CSM inspected everyone else first, he was the only three time loser. When he got to the private he asked him where his foxhole was? The private looked confused and didn't answer. CSM handed him his etool and said he would be back in two hours and finish the inspection. The private dug the hole. We went inside to cool off. It was about 90 degrees out. The private was the son of a famous author and very spoiled.

CSM came back about 30 minutes early and peaked in on our troop. He found him in his foxhole taking a dump. The entire barracks heard the CSM telling him at the top of his lungs to rub that cammo into his face really well not missing a single spot!!! Guys started piling out of the building to see what was going on. The private was covered in puke and poop when I came out and the CSM was pulling over a hose.

That was the last time that year anyone in our company fell out of a ruck sack run!!!

Response by MSG J G. Sandy Phillips made Jun 9 at 2019 6:44 PM

MSG J G. Sandy Phillips — Sun, 09 Jun 2019 18:44:18 -0400

In early 1967, we had a West Point CO, he hadn't been overseas yet. He would inspect the old WWII barracks and carried a swagger stick with him. He used to break a window he felt wasn't clean, requiring us troops to replace it. The Battalion CO put a pretty rapid stop to that!

Response by CPL Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 15 at 2019 3:19 PM

CPL Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 15 Jun 2019 15:19:08 -0400

So with the breakdown of 4th BCT at fort Campbell, my battalion would be integrating with the 3rd brigade “rakkasans”. We got posted in a barracks which the upper two floors had not been inhabited for over 2 years. On the first floor was ACS or something. Some kind of service for spouses(which was weird I know...). Well a contractor was sent to turn on the gases and electrics for the upper 2nd and 3rd floor. Little did we and the contractor know that inside the breaker rooms were tin trash cans filled with garbage and receipts dating back to 2009 (I got posted in that barracks in 2014). That contractor made a fuss and told the housing master sergeant who then told our first sergeant and yea it went down hill after that.

We got ordered to conduct a barracks cleaning party (more like a cleansing operation) and got down to business with sweepers and mop heads. When we came up to the breaker room, where the contractor freaked out, well it was for good reason...

Apparently everything in that small breaker room filled to the brim with trash had been home to rats because there was poop everywhere, claw marks among other noticeable behaviors of a rat infestation. I kid you not, the trash in that little room was filled to the top. Once we got it all out, we found that the rats had clawed out a hole in the wall for travel to other parts of the building but yea, mold comes first, rats are an after thought.

Response by SSG Harry Herres made Jun 20 at 2019 8:56 PM

SSG Harry Herres — Thu, 20 Jun 2019 20:56:57 -0400

In basic back in 1968 at Polk, 3/4of my platoon were service brats. For a full layout barracks inspection we ran string from one end of the to the other. Every button, snap, emblem lined up. We disk polished the floor. When the CO and post commander inspected our barracks we were locked out for three days. A bunch of dignitaries and congressmen were paraded through each evening we had to rebuff the floor for the next day. Screwed ourselves for being too good.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 1 at 2019 2:53 PM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 01 Jul 2019 14:53:07 -0400

In the early '80s, as soldier at the Defense Language Institute at the Presidio of Monterey, things were sort of lax relative the barracks rules from other duty stations I had been at. When we got a new CO, though, he began tightening things up. We were allowed beer in our room, but nothing harder. That rule hadn't been enforced, so when my name came up on the bulletin board to report to the 1SG, and I saw my unopened bottle of wine missing from the fridge, I guessed what had happened.
Standing at attention before the 1SG's desk, he pointed to my bottle and asked what I thought he ought to do about it. Now, the 1SG was a crusty old infantryman who didn't relish being in charge of a bunch of egg-head linguists. There was a rumor that he liked his drink, so throwing caution to the wind, I pulled 2 cheap wine glasses from my BDU tunic's pockets and exclaimed, "I think we should drink it 1SG!" And we did! I never heard anything more about it, but also didn't tempt fate ever again.

Response by CDR G Gacser made Jul 2 at 2019 7:53 AM

CDR G Gacser — Tue, 02 Jul 2019 07:53:21 -0400

A female member had saved all of her personal sanitary napkins on tbe deployment, each one in a plastic sandwich bag and stored in a black opaque garbage bag.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 3 at 2019 5:57 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 03 Jul 2019 17:57:31 -0400

You had to drag the refrigerator to clear the dusts behind it.

Response by SFC George Martin Sr made Jul 13 at 2019 11:05 PM

SFC George Martin Sr — Sat, 13 Jul 2019 23:05:17 -0400

The IG SGM was inspecting my TA-50 lay out. Every item was brand new. finding nothing note worthy, he reached down to my M-65 Field Jacket and tugged at the corner of my name tag. Now the name tag had been sewn on at the CIF and was quite secure. The SGM worked himself into a sweat, finally getting his fingernail under a thread. Now, standing on my field jacket with both feet, he gave a mighty rank and ripped my name tag off. He turned to the Corporal who was writing down all the deficiencies and said simply, name tag loose and went on to the next guy in line.

Response by SFC George Martin Sr made Jul 13 at 2019 11:21 PM

SFC George Martin Sr — Sat, 13 Jul 2019 23:21:44 -0400

Every unit has that one guy, not really a misfit, just strange somehow. 793d MP Bn, Nurnberg, Germany. Our off ball had at one time or another studied to be a Catholic Priest, a Buddist Monk, A Seventh Day Adventist, and a Rabbi. He had shaved his head, wore beads, chanted or quietly meditated. All quite harmless to himself and others around him. With the impending IG Inspection, the Commander and 1SG had long discussions with his, begging him not to do anything weird while the IG was here. He promised and gave his word. We remained apprehensive as we were certain he did not understand the meaning of weird. Came the day of the IG Inspection, and things were going well, too well. All our TA 50 was dress right dress, shoes were shined and neatly displayed under our bunks. Then it happened. The ID turned to leave the room and something at the window caught his eye. " Tell me Private, what is that vegetation doing around your window?" Our room mate offered" It's Garlic, Colonel." The Colonel said, " And what is it doing around your window?" (OK, you ready for this, remember, we are in Bavaria). "Colonel, it's to keep the vampires away." The IG smiles, " Son, there are no vampires." This encouraged our hero, " Works pretty good then, doesn't it Sir?"

Response by Sgt David Kassin made Jul 17 at 2019 8:55 PM

Sgt David Kassin — Wed, 17 Jul 2019 20:55:10 -0400

Came back from class in boot and every rack was torn apart. Blankets sheets and pillows were all on the deck; except one. I was the only one who passed so had to run and remedy the situation. Drill instructor Ssgt Chase kept asking whose rack passed so I went beside him and nodded. We then decided that knowing who might cause resentment amount the recruits. I did show what my dad taught me; WWII Navy veteran.

Response by 1LT Howard Foss made Jul 17 at 2019 9:07 PM

1LT Howard Foss — Wed, 17 Jul 2019 21:07:06 -0400

during ocs the tac officers thought it smart to trash the barracks and call for a 45 min. inspection. as a former Sargent in the mp's, I called the post mp's and reported a break in. a major and two sergeants showed up to take a report. the co, a captain and all the tac officers, were completely confused. the tac officers never did that again.

Response by PV2 Dorothy Lafrance made Jul 17 at 2019 9:18 PM

PV2 Dorothy Lafrance — Wed, 17 Jul 2019 21:18:43 -0400

The worst I've ever seen is my drill sergeant tricking me to go to his trailer for a party on Graduation night and I was the only one who actually got there. He paid for a cab to bring me to him and he raped me. I've gotten alot of therapy and was doing good until a man here at the VA clinic I go to tried to rape me. He lied and said he was gonna help me go to a veteran shelter the next day and let me sleep over cuz I was fighting with my husband. I awoke with him dry humping me. I'm so devastated!! I have bad nightmares EVERY night!! I've told on him but they refused to do anything about it. I cant even get care there cuz I dont want to see him. Hes just a secretary but my therapist wont report him cuz they're friends!! The military wont stop men raping me!!

Response by GySgt Richard McCauley made Jul 17 at 2019 9:50 PM

GySgt Richard McCauley — Wed, 17 Jul 2019 21:50:23 -0400

Early 1971 at 43 Area (Las Pulgas) aboard Camp Pendleton. Wednesday Field Day and the Barracks inspection Officer is a CWO2. During the inspection in the head, removed his cover and stuck his head into the urinal to inspect the upper inside of the bowl. He advised we put more effort into cleaning that part of all four urinals in our barracks. We passed on the second inspection!

Response by CPL Warren Winger made Jul 17 at 2019 9:58 PM

CPL Warren Winger — Wed, 17 Jul 2019 21:58:57 -0400

A First Lieutenant on the inspection team had given a 'gig' something to effect that 'one of the urinals contained pubic hair'. Our 1st Sergeant answered, "We are unable to respond as no one here has the inspector's experience in such matters."

Response by SP5 William Bittner made Jul 17 at 2019 10:16 PM

SP5 William Bittner — Wed, 17 Jul 2019 22:16:59 -0400

I was drafted 3 Dec. 1965 in Beaver County, PA. Put on train and 40 miles down the tracks the train derails. Put on another train and arrived at Ft Jackson, SC. shaved our heads and stood in line for train to Ft Gordon, GA. Spent Christmas in cold and assigned to old WW2 POW barracks. Spent most of basic as a fireman shoveling coal in pot belly stoves. I was 3rd bunk from pot belly stove and water in canteen froze. Buildings had tile blocks in walls missing and windows broken.

I would sleep 4hrs, shovel coal 4hrs, train 4hrs, shovel coal 4hrs and train 4hrs and shovel coal 4hrs. This went on every day but one day while I was sleeping they did inspection and I was in bunk. Inspecting officer kicked my cot and collapsed it on floor with me in it. Immediately he was told I was fireman. He continued inspection and I put cot back together.

Response by SGT Walt Christy made Jul 17 at 2019 10:29 PM

SGT Walt Christy — Wed, 17 Jul 2019 22:29:18 -0400

I was getting ready for a IG inspection. Had dress green clean wife hung it on wall wear wall heater was next morning with burn marks on back had go out get another dress green sew everything on .

Response by Cpl Gerald Hill made Jul 17 at 2019 10:32 PM

Cpl Gerald Hill — Wed, 17 Jul 2019 22:32:15 -0400

I was with Bravo Company 1st Bn. 1st Marines, 1st Marine Division at Camp Pendleton CA. (San Mateo) June of 1964 I was coming off weekend liberty driving back and almost late for the Monday 7:00 am M-14 rifle inspection. We had rifle racks in the squad bay where you kept your rifle locked in but someone had spilled a can of coke in the rack, I got there just in time to grab my rifle and try to pull it loose from the glob of dried mess. I went to the head grabbed couple of wet towels before my fire-team leader and squad leader pushed me outside to fall in for inspection. Our Platoon commander was a 2nd Lt. who was inspecting and when he went to open the butt hinge it was glued shut with dried soda, all he said was I'll see you after the inspection. He did and asked me to explain to him and the E-6 Platoon Sgt what happened I did but the out-come for me was not good (2-wks no liberty)

Response by CW4 Craig Urban made Jul 17 at 2019 11:07 PM

CW4 Craig Urban — Wed, 17 Jul 2019 23:07:59 -0400

Pogey bait. You did not have enough food at the mess hall? come on let go to the mess hall and we will fill you up

Response by CW4 Craig Urban made Jul 17 at 2019 11:21 PM

CW4 Craig Urban — Wed, 17 Jul 2019 23:21:50 -0400

7th army NCO academy 1968. Bunked with this SP/4 lifer. He could not make E5. Probably a tank or small arms repairman repairman. I never asked. Dumb as you get. We get health and welfare. Under his bunk is dust. The tac is livid. We both got a demerit. Ten and we are out. Both of us. well, we or he did get 7 in the four weeks. My company.commander back in Wiesbaden, Camp Pier. Had told me just pass and my boss the Battalion Commander will make you an SP/5 the day you get back. Cool. 19-year-old SP/5. I was number two out of 100 NCO's. 40 percent did not make it. So when I show up I go into the commander's office and he asks did you pass Craig. For some strange reason, I cannot remember his name. Number two????? Monday morning SP/5 Urban.

Response by PO3 Stephen Johnson made Jul 17 at 2019 11:42 PM

PO3 Stephen Johnson — Wed, 17 Jul 2019 23:42:26 -0400

I guess my worst personal horror story is one that took place in 1967 during my basic training in the Navy at Great Lakes. We were having a personnel inspection by our company commander, a tough 1st class Boatswain's Mate. As he moved down the line and got nearer to me, I glanced down at my jumper pocket and saw that I had left a nearly full pack of cigarettes in my pocket! I stood there at attention, terrified, because this guy was tough and mean . Well, I got caught, of course. If anyone out there wonders, for whatever reason, what holding 18 cigarettes in your mouth, one at a time until they are soaked through, tastes like, I can tell you. It must have warped my mind because I ended up being a Boatswain's mate just like my company commander.

Response by PO2 Jim Lewis made Jul 18 at 2019 1:14 AM

PO2 Jim Lewis — Thu, 18 Jul 2019 01:14:07 -0400

DRILL INSTRUCTOR FOUND A HASH MARK ON A RECRUIT'S SKIVVIES AND TOOK THEM AND BEAT THE RECRUIT DOWN TO THE GROUND WITH THEM.

Response by CPL Charles Jones made Jul 18 at 2019 5:55 AM

CPL Charles Jones — Thu, 18 Jul 2019 05:55:31 -0400

Boot Camp, El Paso Texas, 1953. Staying in old German Prisoner huts, inspections of our hut, was
told it was the worst hut in the unit. All bunks were messed up, papers in the floor, and I was called out because I was the hut leader. I was told that it was even worst than any "cooks hut" in the unit.
All 5 of us we instructed to clean it up and we did!

Response by PO1 Martin Findley made Jul 18 at 2019 8:12 AM

PO1 Martin Findley — Thu, 18 Jul 2019 08:12:59 -0400

While I was on Medical hold before retirement, I was a barracks manager supervisor (job was created for me). One day at the O's barracks they noticed a lot of flies in a window of a room. It had a "do not disturb" sign on it, but we had to open it, inside was found a man whom had hung himself in the closet.

Response by PO2 Fred Fork made Jul 18 at 2019 9:22 AM

PO2 Fred Fork — Thu, 18 Jul 2019 09:22:10 -0400

We had 15 toilets but were only allowed to use 3 of them for 120 men, so some men had to poop in the trash can or in a sock , and the drill inspector found out about it and made them eat it!

Response by PO3 Dennis Pollard made Jul 18 at 2019 12:00 PM

PO3 Dennis Pollard — Thu, 18 Jul 2019 12:00:13 -0400

On a routine barracks inspection, as our CO was making rounds inspecting our bedding, the cleanless of the barracks and the head, the CO came upon a toilet that had not been flushed after someone had taken a dump. He was livid as he had told us quite clearly what would happen if he ever found a Baby Ruth in the toilet. He asked that the person who did the dirty deed to step forward. No one did. He then started with the first sailor and instructed him to go fetch the offending turd from the toilet. Then he said we are going to pass this around until the guilty party stepped forward and admitted it. He said that procedure would continue until someone stepped forward or the turd had disintegrated to the point of no return. So the procession started with the turd being passed around. About 3 people ahead of me the person who was guilty confessed. His punishment was to take the turd back to the toilet and he was to clean all the toilets with his toothbrush for a week. He was given 1 hour of sitting in the captain's chair as the CO called it every day for a week. ( The captain's chair was sitting on a non existent chair holding your rifle at arms length ). WE NEVER HAD an incident like that again. There were a number of guys got sick when their turn came. Fortunately for me I did not have to handle the turd.

Response by SGT Larry Budd made Jul 18 at 2019 3:55 PM

SGT Larry Budd — Thu, 18 Jul 2019 15:55:10 -0400

Well, I have to go way back to Korea in 1963. 17 years old and didn't have a clue about anything. Awakened at 0300 by the Doctor, 1st Sgt. and medics giving us a "Short Arm Inspection". Clap (Gonorea) was a problem. Alot of guy's didn't want to report it and take their chances with black market medicine, which by the way was crazy. To those of you who don't know what a Short Arm Inspection was, it was pulling on your penis to see if you had a discharge without an erection. 1st and only time I experienced it and I spent 9 years active duty.

Response by PFC vIVIAN lOGAN made Jul 18 at 2019 5:00 PM

PFC vIVIAN lOGAN — Thu, 18 Jul 2019 17:00:58 -0400

It is interesting that when female recruits arrive at basic training they have to be yelled at by the
Drill Sergeant usually a man to get them to do easy cleaning tasks but yet they will brag about the
pretty things they own or how their apartments with their boyfriends were laid out. Also, in basic
training the first week two young recruits asked me if I would do their laundry because they were
homesick. Wrong person; wrong question. I had a four-year old back home. Remember the old Army saying "you had a good home and you shouldn't have left." You're in the Army Now!!!

Response by SP5 Steven Fink made Jul 18 at 2019 8:56 PM

SP5 Steven Fink — Thu, 18 Jul 2019 20:56:52 -0400

I was stationed at Fort Devens, MA., in 1968, for advanced training in my M.O.S. We were preparing for inspection the oil furnace "exploded", and blew oily soot through the barracks. It was some fun attempting to clean that mess. Luckily we has outside assistance in cleaning the mess.

Response by SP5 Randall Karle made Jul 26 at 2019 7:49 PM

SP5 Randall Karle — Fri, 26 Jul 2019 19:49:54 -0400

This is just one of a great many stories I have about my unit in West Berlin. We were not expecting a visit from the Inspector General, but received one on a cold winter morning in 1970. He did a quick walk through of the barracks just to check on the new furniture that had arrived the prior week. All went well until we got to Specialist X's room.

It seems that the heat did not work in his room and it was only about 37 degrees F in there with the windows closed. Specialist X had had a hard night of drinking and said that he woke up at 4 am with the urgent need to relieve himself. Being both drunk and cold, the Specialist emptied the contents of his bowels on the floor in the middle of his room and went back to bed. When he awoke to get ready for work, he said that he was so grossed out that he just put the empty trash can upside down over it.
3 hours later, when the IG, the Captain, and the First Sergeant entered the room, they saw the trash can sitting upside down in the middle of the floor. The First Sergeant picked it up and hilarity ensued. I was walking in the hall just outside the door as the yelling began.

Specialist X enjoyed his extra duty.

Response by MSgt Matt Hancock made Jul 27 at 2019 3:59 PM

MSgt Matt Hancock — Sat, 27 Jul 2019 15:59:01 -0400

Back in the mid 70s I was working as an MTI. Each flight underwent an inspection by the squadron section supervisors (4 of them), the training superintendent and even on occasion the training officer. The results were used to determine the honor flight of that time frame. Another MTI and I were outside my house (the MOB dorms) shooting the breeze when this another MTI came storming out of his house in the direction of the squadron orderly room. When asked what was going on he stated his flight had received 110 demerits (normally at that stage of training no more than 5 to 10 is usual) and he was going to complain about 10 demerits. We so wanted to check out that dorm but out of courtesy for him let him storm into the squadron with his complaints.

Response by SMSgt Jeff Kyle made Aug 1 at 2019 10:40 PM

SMSgt Jeff Kyle — Thu, 01 Aug 2019 22:40:37 -0400

My first assignment in the Marine Corps was to a Reserve Group at NAS Alameda. I was assigned to a room with a Lance Corporal. We’ll call him v-belt for short. My first room inspection with V-belt didn’t go too well. My half of the room was 100%. I didn’t have very much for them to inspect. v-Belt, on the other hand, was a disaster. I won’t go into all the details except for his wall locker. The inspector open the door and found rifles. He opened the other door and there was pistols, ammunition and knives. On the top shelf was a can of black powder with a tag on it saying “die SgtMaj, die”. I was ushered out of the room and spent the next several hours in the day room waiting for his ass chewing to finish.
I’m just glad they didn’t find his cat.

Response by SFC Barbara Layman made Aug 3 at 2019 7:07 AM

SFC Barbara Layman — Sat, 03 Aug 2019 07:07:21 -0400

1970, FDNJ, 759th MP BN
Platoon prepping for payday inspection. PSG had run through and everything was ready to go. Troops left the billets to report for pay (Army had not yet gone to direct deposit so a finance officer distributed cash payment) and return to stand by for inspection by 2LT platoon officer. When they returned, the place was a total disaster. Items had been thrown around, beds 'unmade' and myriad gigs lying in wait.
Turns out that the 2LT decided to 'check it out' while everyone was getting paid. He apparently didn't think all was up to snuff so he tore the place apart. TA-50 spread all over, 'personal' items tossed about.
Well, that PSG let him know what was what THEN they took inventory. The trunk of our car had a considerable amount of 'missing' TA-50 after the 'cleanup.' A report was made to 1SG, CDR and supply. A 15-6 was conducted and in the end, that young 2LT was charged a considerable portion of his pay to replace the lost equipment.
A hard lesson to learn but I'll guarantee that he never pulled such a stunt ever again.

Response by SPC Jack Klesert made Aug 29 at 2019 8:59 AM

SPC Jack Klesert — Thu, 29 Aug 2019 08:59:44 -0400

Though not during a regular barracks inspection, but an early morning spot inspection, while pulling a double shift of barracks guard duty, after a heavy day of training (Basic Training), was caught asleep in the john. Later, was diagnosed with sleep apnea.

Response by SP5 Joe Bierce made Aug 30 at 2019 11:21 PM

SP5 Joe Bierce — Fri, 30 Aug 2019 23:21:03 -0400

Sunday Morning Port Commander 's favorite time to inspect the company garbage area. He always found a cigarette butt and we all rolled out for police call.

Response by SP5 Kevin Finnegan made Sep 4 at 2019 7:44 PM

SP5 Kevin Finnegan — Wed, 04 Sep 2019 19:44:20 -0400

My first ever inspection was impressive. Radio training, Ft. Gordon, A-8, old WWII barracks, 1967, April. The Sgt. had me go and check everything one last time. Hell! I didn't know what from what. I walked-in and stopped. Everything was perfect, in its place, polished and squared away. All the gear laid out perfectly on the bunks. Reflection in the floor (the green floor!). I had only one inspection after that in 68',Ft. Meade, Md. Nothing like that first one. Looking back, I can say A-8 was mystical

Response by SGT Ronald Audas made Oct 19 at 2019 11:54 AM

SGT Ronald Audas — Sat, 19 Oct 2019 11:54:59 -0400

While standing an IG inspection during basic,the IG stopped in front of my buddy.My buddy was a country boy from Tennessee.Noticing that one of his front teeth was broken in half the General began extolling the abilities of military dentists.Going to great lengths about all that could be done with that tooth.We all stood at attention thinking how personal the General was.Finally he asked how he broke his tooth. The young man in his finest southern voice replied,l drapped them in the sank.As the General turned to the next soldier,he replied,forget everything I said.Try to stay straight on that one.

Response by SPC Rick LaBonte made Nov 5 at 2019 1:57 PM

SPC Rick LaBonte — Tue, 05 Nov 2019 13:57:35 -0500

I was in a support battalion on a contact team, so when the unit I supported went to the field so did my team.
Evidently, Top decided to have a barracks inspection while we were 3 weeks into a field training exercise supporting a line unit and somehow wrangled the master keys from the company commander, naturally there was a dust build up and he demanded a reinspection the day we got back.
Fortunately, our platoon sergeant didn’t complain to the captain, he complained to shop warrant officer who bypassed the captain and went directly to the battalion commander, from what I understand, the colonel brought the sergeant major with him, he had a chat with the captain while CSM chewed Top’s ass!

Response by Capt Jennifer Parsons Kangas made Nov 6 at 2019 8:09 AM

Capt Jennifer Parsons Kangas — Wed, 06 Nov 2019 08:09:01 -0500

Not especially gross or horrifying, but certainly memorable. I was the section commander for a MXS squadron, and we had an AGE airman that was getting kicked out because she refused to follow tech orders. We had done room inspections previously, and her room was pretty crammed. It was orderly enough, but she just had a TON of shit packed in that room. Furthermore, she had not been off the base in the few years she’d been there AT ALL. She was supposed to outprocess at the MPF by 1300. It was well after 1300 and she still wasn’t finished packing. The shirt ripped her a new one and he and I proceeded to start throwing random stuff in boxes just to get it out of the room. The shirt found a book she had on sex crimes. We threw it in the box with everything else. Shortly after, we threw in a heavier item and heard a loud vibrating noise. I had to bite the bullet and find out what it was. It turned out to be a massage pillow, but after the sex crimes book, we thought it was something else. Her dad came from California to pick her up and when he saw the amount of crap she had, he was pissed.

Response by SGT Debra McDonough Travis made Nov 11 at 2019 7:47 PM

SGT Debra McDonough Travis — Mon, 11 Nov 2019 19:47:13 -0500

I was stationed in Darmstadt, Germany and was the floor Sgt for the 4th floor women's floor. We had a health and welfare check at 6:30 am. The command had people on the ground floor with walkie talkies and they were telling which room had a man outside sitting on the roof in the winter. We had windows that opened to the roof. Lol. Busted about 6 guys and girls that morning.

Response by Sgt Ivan Boatwright made Nov 24 at 2019 5:16 PM

Sgt Ivan Boatwright — Sun, 24 Nov 2019 17:16:53 -0500

I was lucky, after boot camp and ITR, I stood only one junk on the bunk inspection at the 10th Marines at Lejeune. Some colonel said he was flying out in a chopper to Hill 55 area in 1965 to inspect us. We were fuming with anger. Half of our M-14 were broken down for cleaning when we received sniper fire. He never showed up and there was never another threat.

Response by SFC Pat Woods made Nov 30 at 2019 1:35 PM

SFC Pat Woods — Sat, 30 Nov 2019 13:35:52 -0500

1974- the barracks at DLI in Monterey- one of the ladies on my floor- that girl could really do floors! The floor was like glass and almost as reflective as a mirror- however, if you were to open one of the 2 lockers or virtually any desk drawer, you would find chicken bones and various other left over food items, dirty clothes, etc (her roommate was dropped from the course and she had a 2 person room to herself). The 1SG never thought to open a drawer and exempted her from inspection the following week

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 8 at 2019 9:57 PM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 08 Dec 2019 21:57:04 -0500

Not much of a horror story but a funny one. So we were all lined up in the hallway next to our doors and I noticed the guy across the hall from me was acting really odd. And I mean he was visibly swearing and in pain. So I whispered to him asking what was wrong and apparently he had put a icy hot pad on his junk right before they called for random inspection. We were at the end of the hall so this guy sat there squirming while the 2 NCOs went through all 30 or so rooms till they reached his. Of course as you might have guessed he wasn't the brightest soldier to exist and didn't clean his room.
When the NCOs got to his room and started throwing a tantrum, as NCOs do, they noticed his behaviour and started really digging into him. About 2 minutes into the smoking he finally yelled out that he couldn't take it anymore, dropped his shorts and ripped the pad off his junk. Never seen anyone about face out of a room so quickly.

Response by SGT Doug Blanchard made Dec 17 at 2019 1:44 PM

SGT Doug Blanchard — Tue, 17 Dec 2019 13:44:47 -0500

This happened back in March 1976. I was in an OSUT unit at Ft Sill in week 9 of a 12wk training course. We were in the old open bay barracks and a PV1 from the lower bay had had an off base weekend pass the weekend before we had a 5 day ftx live fire training.
He scored while in town a few ounces of pot. What he did was stash it in the leg tunes of the old metal bunks we had back then. While we were in the field, CID had let the drug dogs loose in the barracks.
When we came back on that Friday afternoon from being in the field, the barracks looked like a tornado hat hit the place. Bunks were dumped and pulled apart. Walk lockers stood open and in disarray, laundry bags were dumped on the floor. Namely the barracks were a total disaster area. We found out from our PltSgt what had happened. We did a some investigating of our own and found out who it was that put his pot in our bunks, when we found out, we had a fine blanket party. Two weeks later CID arrested him for possession with intent. He was courtmartiaked and kicked out on a DD, after doing 6 months in the Stockdale. Turned out the person he bought the pot from was an under cover CUD working with the Lawton OK police to try and cut down on the drugs being found on Ft Sill.

Response by COL Ray Arment made Jan 21 at 2020 11:10 AM

COL Ray Arment — Tue, 21 Jan 2020 11:10:56 -0500

In the early 70's, I found two, kilo bricks of hasish in a common storage area of the barracks in Augsburg, W. Germany. The leadership had a pretty good idea whose it was and two days later he appeared beaten to a pulp. Rumor had it he collected money from the other troops went to Turkey, made the buy and returned to Augsburg and the commander called the inspection before he could distribute the shares. Rest of the story: We of course sent the bricks of hash to CID for analysis. The analysis came back as pressed camel dung, which we dutifully reported to the company at morning formation

Response by LCDR Mike Morrissey made Feb 8 at 2020 3:01 PM

LCDR Mike Morrissey — Sat, 08 Feb 2020 15:01:45 -0500

My wife, as a Navy Lt, was.stationed at Treasure Island in S.F. Bay Area. As a collateral duty assignment, she was tasked with inspecting family qtrs which had become known as problems. (Back in the day that such duty was handed off to women—hmmmmm.)

First, she and a Master At Arms P.O. went to survey the home. What they found there is almost beyond description. It wasn’t just junked with dirty dishes, filthy floors. Oh no!! It had rotting food, open dirty diapers, urine puddles, and worst of all—fecal material spread on walls, sinks, and dinette table, probably by a toddler. The stench alone was almost a PTSD experience.

The husband was on about his 7th month of a 9 month deployment, and the wife/mother had “lost it”. The family was “handed over” to California’s form of family services.

My wife was tasked with leading a cleanup. Ultimately, a contractor had to come in and gut parts of the condo. In today’s environment, the qrtrs would have been a HAZMAT incident and cleanup.

Response by CPO Heidi Cermak made Feb 10 at 2020 8:05 AM

CPO Heidi Cermak — Mon, 10 Feb 2020 08:05:17 -0500

At one barracks inspection at Naval Hospital Cherry point, NC, a corpsman had a pet cat that jumped on the master chief when he inspected the corpsman barracks. The CDCM (MCPO) threw the cat out of the window, another hospital corpsman had all the mops in his room. and another one had a crockpot with bacteria growing on whatever was cooked.

Response by SSG Ralph Watkins made Feb 15 at 2020 6:27 AM

SSG Ralph Watkins — Sat, 15 Feb 2020 06:27:33 -0500

We used to get monthly room inspections. My one buddy was always looking for ways to have fun & have a good laugh. Our new CO walks in his room, my buddy is standing there at attention, leaning towards his left. The CO looks puzzled on why he is standing that way. He was actually in line with everything else in the room. He had put wooden blocks & wedges under everything. He then told the CO that his room shifted, not himself or all of his stuff. The poor young, new CO had no idea how to react to that. He maintained his military bearing & so did our 1SG. Until they got out int he hallways& started busting a gut laughing.

Response by PO2 Ron Gunsolus made Feb 15 at 2020 12:07 PM

PO2 Ron Gunsolus — Sat, 15 Feb 2020 12:07:34 -0500

At nuclear power school one of our textbooks (classified) went missing... someone had taken it to their room to study (forbidden)... so a room by room locker inspection ensued. We found the book eventually - AFTER we found Petty Officer Fergusson's less than hygienic 'inflate-a-mate'... truly a disgusting unholy sight worthy of Barker or Tarentino! :p

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 15 at 2020 4:59 PM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 15 Feb 2020 16:59:00 -0500

We had a surprise barracks inspection by a General Officer around 2 am on a Saturday. And of course it being a Saturday there was a barracks party going on and the CQ NCO just happened to join the party. So the General walked into the barracks and upon not seeing a CQ posted went to where the party was and opened the door to the room we were in and he asked why we were being so loud during quiet hours and then asked if we had seen CQ. We all said no but as right as he was going to leave someone made some noise in the adjacent room so the General opened the door and found the CQ in bed with a new PVT we had just received into the unit. CQ then screamed at the General “dumbass didn’t you see the sock, I’m trying fuck here wait your fucking turn or go to your own room.” Needless to say there was hell to pay and a no drinking order as well as some article 15s.

Response by Sgt Lucinda Cundall made Feb 20 at 2020 9:50 PM

Sgt Lucinda Cundall — Thu, 20 Feb 2020 21:50:48 -0500

I lived in a barracks that usually had two women to a room, but I had a room all to myself. I was a week away from payday when I was presented with a puppy that had been abused, but bonded with me. I intended to bring "Peanuts" home to my parents as soon as I was paid. However my 1st Sgt decided to do a room inspection and when I got back from duty that day there was a note on my door to report to the 1st Sgt ASAP. I dont know if any of you were ever afraid of getting called in to the first shirts office, but I was more afraid of 1st Sgt than the CO. When reporting to her I explained about the puppy and she gave me until the 15th (which was a Friday) to take "Peanuts" to my parents. Luckily I did not get in took much trouble - just a stern taking to. I wonder what her expression must have been when she had opened my door and this itty bitty puppy came running up to her LOL.

Response by PO2 Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 8 at 2020 11:48 AM

PO2 Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 08 Mar 2020 11:48:27 -0400

I was on mid check at my first command and at the time my command was introducing mid check as a third shift because of the work that needed to be done on our aircraft in preparation for detachments and I'll never forget this, I got off of work on a Friday morning and I go to sleep in my barracks and keep in mind the only way to get into the room was by a keycard and no one else but you can get in also the BPO. So I was sleeping and the next thing I heard and it woke me up was the keycard sound unlocking and I wake up on the verge of panicking and ready to fight because I thought someone was breaking in only to find out it was the BPO doing a room inspection and from what I remember went like this.

BPO (I presume a CS2): "Hey hows it going, I'm here for room inspection."

Me (half awake, yet slightly panicked): "Uhh ok, go ahead." (I then fell back alseep.)

Me (coming to senses and waking back up): "Wait WHAT???"

Me: "Hey, wait a minute! Did you even read the note?!"

BPO: (Realizing his mistake at the last second) "I did...sorry to bother you I only did your roommates room, you both passed, have a good one."

Response by PO2 Ed Leidy made Mar 10 at 2020 8:49 PM

PO2 Ed Leidy — Tue, 10 Mar 2020 20:49:20 -0400

I know this a re-hashing of an "old" one BUT. Back in Boot Camp at NTC Great Lakes (A.K.A. Great Mistakes) in 1969 one of my fellow "boots" smeared a gob of peanut butter into one of the heads (toilets) right before inspection.
When the Chief saw it he bellowed "What the hell is THIS?" The offender wiped some on his finger and said "Tastes like s**t Chief". Realizing he had been snookered, the Chief instructed the boot: "Very Good - Every day before inspection you will check EVERY toilet that way!"
(P.S. Every day after morning chow there was a rush for all of us to use the head !)

Response by PO3 Scott Schuler made Mar 19 at 2020 8:03 AM

PO3 Scott Schuler — Thu, 19 Mar 2020 08:03:38 -0400

North island in the 90s. Every Friday there was a barracks inspection. My upstairs 5th deck neighbor was a female. After inspecting our room and heading upstairs they enter this girl's room and find a full on meth lab. I was almost pissing myself laughing.

Then there was the time my buffalo Bills loving buddy was watching the superbowl in our quad. After the cowboys trounce them once again (same thing occurred the year before) he proceeds to go completely ape shit, throws the couch, chair, trash can and finally tv over three 4th deck railing to the courtyard below. This left our quad basically empty. Friday rolls around and we're have our inspection, the OOD enters the quad looks around and says, "oh, you guys must be one of the ones getting new furniture. " I almost bit my tongue off trying not to laugh, as our furniture was still directly below us haphazardly resting on and in the bushes. We recieved all new furniture the next day.

Response by PO1 Mike Wallace made Mar 20 at 2020 8:23 AM

PO1 Mike Wallace — Fri, 20 Mar 2020 08:23:32 -0400

At sea before women were allowed aboard ships humor could be a bit different than what you might see today.
During an inspection on a Destroyer I was on back in the early 70's our CO was doing a shipwide compartment and head inspection. The aft head pretty much served the engineering (propulsion/machinery) personnel.
The Captain (great sense of humor but good leader) went in to inspect one of the stalls. He noticed something written (here I set broken hearted came to s*** and only farted) on the right side partition separating the stools. He then noticed that from the first wisdom above the toilet paper holder more limericks like the first went up the partition. But in order to read them he actually sat on the stool. The writing turned a bit clockwise with each new limerick thus you had to turn further and further to your right. When they got to the top of the partition an arrow pointed up to the overhead (ceiling for non sailors) but to read the inscription above you had to slide your butt around as t was 180° from the way the stool was oriented. The inscription said 'If you can read this you just s*** in your sock'.
The captain came out laughing like hell, gave the head a pass and mandated that it be painted over, but not until we were about tp go into port in a couple of weeks.

Response by MAJ Richard Cheek made Mar 25 at 2020 7:14 PM

MAJ Richard Cheek — Wed, 25 Mar 2020 19:14:30 -0400

Found child pornography, that sent me into orbit. Can’t kill a trainee but damn I sure wanted to.

Response by BG Jim Drago made Mar 27 at 2020 12:23 AM

BG Jim Drago — Fri, 27 Mar 2020 00:23:30 -0400

Not me but a friend who is now deceased. He was a tank company XO in Germany back in the Cold War 1980s and the CO was conducting a "health and welfare" and also had the MPs with the drug dogs. They got to his drivers room, the inspection started normally enough, until the dog start getting more and more agitated. "J" said he was just thinking, great, COs here,and my driver is about to get caught with drugs. The whole time the pooch is becoming rowdier and rowdier. At this point the XO is frozen with fear of whats about to happen with his Co is cutting him to pieces with laser eyes as the 1SG just shook his head. The dogs was going berserk at the mattress so the MPs flip it over and a large rigid dildo falls out, hits the floor rolling, and manages to turn itself on. As it goes buzzzzing across the floor, the MP losses control of the dog, which lunges and attacks the buzzing dildo, ripping it to shreds. Throwing batteries and parts all over the room. Once calm was restored the CO simply stated that was enough for the day and XO see me tomorrow morning. The SM didnt get off so easy with the 1SG

Response by Maj John Bell made Mar 27 at 2020 7:25 AM

Maj John Bell — Fri, 27 Mar 2020 07:25:08 -0400

Pardon me for going off-topic... Why aren't the inspectors in the photo wearing the same uniform as the inspected?

Response by SPC Steven Nihipali made Apr 20 at 2020 10:26 PM

SPC Steven Nihipali — Mon, 20 Apr 2020 22:26:08 -0400

Shit came up missing on deployment, so we had a full-blown room inspection... my PSG knew I was religious and when it came to my room, he straight up asked me if I knew where it was, told him no, cause I didn't even know what they were looking for. 72 hour stand down and turned out our lead medic was using it on himself the whole time... talking about an ass beating! I still don't think he's walking straight to this day

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 26 at 2020 3:59 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 26 Apr 2020 03:59:33 -0400

Not a story from when I was doing room inspections, but from back in the day when I was a SPC: One of my buddies in Korea live with an absolute trash roomate. He was from a foreign country, English wasn't all that great, and the stark contrast between sides of the room was jarring, to say the least. We lived two to a room, and it was old-school barracks where it was one big "bedroom" with a closet sized latrine/shower and a sink outside the latrine, and two small closets that were keyed to each roommate's key. There were two ways to set up these rooms: share the space for more living space, or use the furniture (dressers and desks) to make a wall in the middle for privacy.

They had elected to divide the room in half, with the "wall" running perpendicular to the door. So, when you walked into the room, you would walk through the roommate's "living area", through a small, body-width gap between the furniture wall and the actual wall, and then into my buddy's living area. The bathroom was right by the door.

Well, about a month after this kid moved in with my buddy, he started complaining to his Squad Leader and the Platoon Sgt about his roommate. Nothing was done. It got worse. He complained some more. They said he was exaggerating to try to get a new roommate. He said that the kid was stealing out of his Won jar (empty jar that he tossed his change in at the end of the weekend). Finally, some of us in the E4 Mafia went over after work to check it out.

Now...imagine, as you open the door, you cannot see the floor because there is so much junk on it. Clothes, shoes, old, half-filled dishes, pieces of uniforms and gear...as you enter the room, the only clean spot on the floor is an arc where the door opens, and a narrow path that leads to the back half of the room. There is a terrarium with turtles in it on a shelf, and the smell fills the room. The bed is not made. Rather, there is a "nest" of sorts that is made out of sheets, blankets, and pillows. There was a rather expensive bicycle parked in the middle of that side of the room. Walking the pathway into my buddy's side of the room was like coming out of the jungle into civilization. Everything was clean and squared away. He had a fan in the window blowing OUT to try to get some of the smell out, it was that bad.

We broke out the digital camera and went to work. Took about a dozen pics, and showed them to the platoon sergeant. He damn near had a coronary. He then apologized to my buddy, and went to talk to the 1SG, as the kid was in a different Company...one that deals with trucks and Humvees...the end result was that my buddy got moved to a different room, and the kid got an ass-chewing of epic proportions...possibly more, as when I saw the kid again at a gunnery, he had gone from E4 to E1.

Response by SPC Ted Heath made May 8 at 2020 5:04 PM

SPC Ted Heath — Fri, 08 May 2020 17:04:41 -0400

Sergeant in my platoon in Germany was keeping His girlfriend Locked in his wall locker During the day, taking her out of it only at night. He wound up in prison, of course. Weirdest I ever saw.

Response by MAJ Hugh Blanchard made May 31 at 2020 6:48 PM

MAJ Hugh Blanchard — Sun, 31 May 2020 18:48:56 -0400

My unit was one of several that was housed in HHC barracks on a base in Italy. The HHC 1st SGT called me and said he was going to do a health and welfare barracks check including my detachment's rooms, and did I want to accompany him? I said yes, since all of my senior NCOs were working other tasks. We were about halfway through the check when we opened up one of my rooms to find (SURPRISE!) two of my female soldiers engaging in intimate social relations. I thought that I would die of anger and embarrassment, and the 1st SGT looked like he was about to split a gut trying not to laugh. We closed the door, told the soldiers to report to me immediately (after dressing) and left. Wow....

Response by SPC Luis Cedrez made Jun 5 at 2020 10:59 AM

SPC Luis Cedrez — Fri, 05 Jun 2020 10:59:51 -0400

FUNNIEST: My brother served with the 1st of the 39th Field Artillery Airborne in Fort Bragg and they were having an inspection. He told me the story of how he wanted to look good but was too tired to really prepare for it, he ironed all his BCU shirts and hung them up. During the inspection his NCOIC called him out for having the best looking locker in his section. After saying that, his NCOIC pulled out one of his shirts to show the workmanship my brother had put into his locker and they ALL noticed he had only IRONED ONE SLEEVE of the BDU shirt. The rest of the shirt looked like he had just pulled it out of the laundry basket after a week there. Absolutely embarrassed, his NCOIC said in his 20 plus years of service he had never seen anything like this. Of course he got some extra duty, but the story is always great to tell when you need a laugh. I wish I had been there to see it for myself.

Response by Capt Raymond Parks made Jun 7 at 2020 9:14 PM

Capt Raymond Parks — Sun, 07 Jun 2020 21:14:30 -0400

During the summer of 1976, I served two three-week summer duties as a Basic Cadet Boot Camp cadre member at USAFA. This was the first year that women were allowed into the Academy as cadets. There were 150 of them to start with (10% of the class) and they were housed in a separate section of the communal dorms. I was the Supply Sergeant for our Basic Cadet Squadron. The 1st class (senior) Supply Officer and I went over to the women's dorm one day on a health and welfare check (of sorts). We stopped at each room with two women from our squadron and asked them if they needed any supplies. My Officer was a native New Mexican from an old Spanish family which, while large, protected their menfolk from female business. We stopped at a room with a young woman who had gone to college for three years while waiting for DoD to let women into the academies. She was a sorority sister and had the raunchiest jody songs I'd heard since JROTC. With a perfectly straight face, she looked at that poor guy and said, "Sir, I need a sanitary belt." (Bachelors and anyone under 60, look it up). Then she went into great detail about what it is and what you do with it and what you use with it. My officer got red as a chile pepper and finally said "Sergeant Parks will find that for you" and fled the dorm. I did wait until he was out of earshot before bursting out laughing.

Response by 1LT Murray Robinson made Jul 9 at 2020 4:40 PM

1LT Murray Robinson — Thu, 09 Jul 2020 16:40:03 -0400

In 1988, Alpha Battery, 1-77th FA, 194th Armored Brigade, Fort Knox, Ky, we had a health and welfare inspection with the drug dogs. The dogs hit on a bunk belonging to one of our maintenance enlisted guys. They found some marijuana residue hidden inside one of the metal parts of the bunk, but what was worse was they found a dildo with anal residue still on it. I don't recall ever hearing whether the residue was his or someone else's, nor did I want to know.

Response by CPT John Kane made Jul 11 at 2020 6:53 PM

CPT John Kane — Sat, 11 Jul 2020 18:53:21 -0400

Not a barracks inspection but still noteworthy. 1971 I was the 3rd Platoon Leader, A Troop 2/4 Cavalry and we were alterted that the Assistant Division Commander, newly promoted BG George Patton (the son of THE GEN Patton,) was going to spend the day at the Squadron and wanted to inspect a platoon. 1300 hours was daily Motor Stables and I was standing in the TC hatch of a M551 Sheridan when I saw a small group of personnel approach entry to the motor pool. Yep, they stopped and issued the "LT Kane REPORT!" order. As sharp as I could be I climbed out of the hatch, jumped on to the front slope and then promptly tripped on one of the splash board tie downs and landed "knees and hands" on the gravel motor pool floor. As sharp as I could, now covered with gravel dust on my fresh startched fatigues, I double timed time to the small group of BG Patton, his aide, the Squadron Commander, the Squadron CSMG, A Troop Commander, the Top Kick and my Platoon Sargent all busting a gut, except for the general. As I snapped the sharpest salute I had in my arsenal and reported to BG Patton he returned the salute with his response: "You'r pretty fuckin clumsy for a lieutenant!" From then on my "club name" was PFCLT!

Response by SFC Gary Morris made Jul 12 at 2020 4:17 PM

SFC Gary Morris — Sun, 12 Jul 2020 16:17:41 -0400

That private with his beret cocked back on his head like a damn baseball cap...

Response by Lt Col Leslie Bryant made Jul 20 at 2020 3:27 AM

Lt Col Leslie Bryant — Mon, 20 Jul 2020 03:27:45 -0400

Our Commanding Training Officer being mad when he fell on his ass during an inspection of our room after saying we needed to be sure our floors were polished. Too bad it was done so well he slid on it! My favorite story from ROTC Camp!

Response by MSgt Mason Manner made Aug 2 at 2020 7:47 PM

MSgt Mason Manner — Sun, 02 Aug 2020 19:47:04 -0400

In 1981 after 4 assignments(CONUS AC&W776 5072ABSq GALENA Ak 8 CESq Kunsan 52CESq to arrive at 56CESq MacDill after being there a week I entered my room to find a note IMPROPERLY MADE BED 1ST SHIRT When I inquired what he meant I was told a white collar bed was unacceptable it had to be a dust cover bed since I hadn't been in PIPE LINE status in 6YEARS they had to show me how it was done 2years later I was caught in the RIF of 82 went on to have a rewarding career as a NYC steam FITTER and a million dollars in annuity a city pension and by the way w/an upgraded RE code a Reservist pension as an MSGT

Response by TSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 3 at 2020 10:43 AM

TSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 03 Aug 2020 10:43:29 -0400

Between tours to Nam I was stationed at Ft Riley. During formation top angerly announced a suicide by cop in the unit. Very patiently he asked anybody who had suicidal tenancies to fall out and fall in behind the formation. He dismissed the rest of us for the week-end.
A bus pulled up. Top then addressed those who had suicidal thoughts something to the tune of " The US Army has invested thousands of dollars on your training and well being. Yet you think you might want to waste the investment and kill yourself. If you want to die you can die fighting. Board the bus your going back to Nam" I laughed my alpha off.
The bus took them to get help not to the Nam. And I heard Top got an old fashion counseling statement (the CO yelled at him for a while).

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 10 at 2020 6:52 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 10 Aug 2020 06:52:13 -0400

Wow! I know I'm old, just looking at this picture is good quality of military life. I remember in 2003 we Bco 841st Bn from Orlando, Fl reservist we stayed three week in the permanent party barracks at Ft Steward, Ga. And after the 3rd ID returned we had to occupy the natl guard long cement quarters open bay! The Reserves and Guard gets second hand treatment! But as the quality of life in today's army need no distractions, the company SOP must be unbias!

Response by SFC Martin King made Aug 11 at 2020 2:56 PM

SFC Martin King — Tue, 11 Aug 2020 14:56:10 -0400

I had been in the Army for a little over a year when, due to a clerical failure, I was given an opportunity to choose another MOS. (I was an 84B photographer) I decided on Intel and was sent TDY to Ft Huachuca, AZ.

I had three roommates, all of whom were straight out of basic. The school had a very relaxed atmosphere and these guys let themselves go. Their areas were sloppy as hell. They ignored my warnings to straighten their stuff up and continued to party. I didn't want to complain to a Top and create a bitter atmosphere but I also didn't want to get screwed by association in the event of Top or an officer walking through.
I scribbled a note that read something like this:
"I visited this room at 0900 on 12 Oct 75 and found conditions to be unacceptable with the exception of the Northwest corner (mine). I will be returning on 13 Oct. To reinspect and expect all areas to be thoroughly cleaned and organized in an appropriate military manner. Harvey P. Schwartz, 1LT, MI"
I then took off for an evening on the town.
When I returned, all three roommates were scrubbing, waxing, buffing, polishing, ironing etc. I deadpanned a what's going on guys? They tell me how they should have listened to me and how they're in deep shit. They showed me my note and said they were going to make their areas look like mine.

I never had issues with them again and no one had to get in real trouble with Top or the CO.

Response by SPC Elizabeth Gehm-Bishop made Aug 11 at 2020 11:17 PM

SPC Elizabeth Gehm-Bishop — Tue, 11 Aug 2020 23:17:58 -0400

I had just been stationed at Ft. Drum NY after returning from Germany and my fiance was staying with me in my room. They decide to call room inspection and only place to "stick" him was in my wall locker, mind you he was 6'4"!
Thankfully the commander didn't want to see in my locker!!!

Response by CPT Jim Christophersen made Aug 21 at 2020 4:12 PM

CPT Jim Christophersen — Fri, 21 Aug 2020 16:12:47 -0400

Tac officer inspection in Fort Benning OCS....found that a quarter didn’t bounce on my bed and you don’t want to know what happened. LOL

Response by 1LT Tom Nelson made Aug 24 at 2020 12:02 AM

1LT Tom Nelson — Mon, 24 Aug 2020 00:02:06 -0400

Inspection at Camp Greaves in the ROK found an extension cord plug made of paper clips and masking tape. I’m surprised that KATUSA didn’t burn down the barracks.

Response by COL Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 24 at 2020 12:54 AM

COL Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 24 Aug 2020 00:54:31 -0400

When I was a young trooper in the late 70s, I was attending Combat Medic training and was told an interesting story from my uncle, who was a First Sergeant there. It was the days of Khakis, medical whites, fatigues and greens. While preparing for a first inspection, one of the guys in the bay had no urgency. He was older than most and told everyone not to worry about the inspection. He helped get the floors and common areas cleaned but did nothing to prepare his own bunk or locker. About 15 minutes before the inspection, he rolled out of his bunk, reached into his locker and pulled out a Medal of Honor and draped it on his pillow (apparently, he had served in Vietnam with the Infantry, had a break in service and returned to be a medic). As the story goes, when the inspecting party arrived in the bay, they noticed the unkempt bunk from a distance and immediately went to it. With the soldier standing at attention, next to his bunk, the Battalion Commander looked at the soldier, looked at the bunk, saluted and informed the inspecting party that the bay looked satisfactorily and moved to the next bay. However, as they left the bay, you could hear the Company Commander getting his butt chewed for not knowing he had an MoH awardee in the barracks.

27 years later, in 2005, I was assigned the responsibility of getting Major Rascon in-processed at Fort Meyer. He had left the Army as a SPC, served as the Director of Selective Service and was returning to Active Duty as a Major. As a former NCO, I understood the protocol of in-processing a MoH awardee. I drove him to Fort Meyer, got him a seat and had him hand me his records. I took the records to the PERSCOM and Finance NCOICs and asked them to complete the in-processing. They hesitated, until I informed him that MAJ Rason was an MoH awardee. Took about an hour and everything was complete. Al couldn't have been happier.

Response by Maj Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 24 at 2020 9:56 PM

Maj Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 24 Aug 2020 21:56:42 -0400

During a Friday morning field-day inspection our Company Commander surprisingly came through my room. He asked my roommate if our toilet was clean enough to drink out of. After my roomate said it was, the Captain whipped out a collapsible cup and said, "I'll be the judge of that." He filled the cup and drank it in front of us. He then thanked us for cleaning the toilet. We hadn't!

Response by GySgt Angelo Vitalone sr made Aug 25 at 2020 10:34 AM

GySgt Angelo Vitalone sr — Tue, 25 Aug 2020 10:34:18 -0400

I GUESS THE MOST DISGUSTING INSPECTION I WAS INVOLVED WITH WAS AT THE US-NAVAL BASE WE HAD A BARRACKS LOCATION WAS PHILA NAVAL BASE THE WALL OCKERS THE INSIDES OF THE LOCKERS WERE FILTHY IT'S LOOKED LIKE NOBODY CARE NEEDLESS TO SAY THE BARRACKS FAILED INSPECTION.

GYSGT ANGELO VITALONE SR

Response by Cpl Ronald Hart made Aug 25 at 2020 10:41 AM

Cpl Ronald Hart — Tue, 25 Aug 2020 10:41:36 -0400

3 DI's ransack barracks-including foot lockers and the stove and all of our gear

Response by SSG Dennis R. made Aug 25 at 2020 1:38 PM

SSG Dennis R. — Tue, 25 Aug 2020 13:38:35 -0400

At a mech infantry unit in Germany, word got out of an upcoming health & welfare inspection, complete with Fido. The residents of one 4-man room got busy and cleaned the place up. Room inspection found nothing, but Fido went nuts. Tear the room apart, find nothing. Fido still unhappy. MPs go in, tear the place apart, again, nothing. Residents aren't saying a word. Lots of unhappy faces, a nice collection of pocket-weaponry, porno, and hard liquor, but no drugs. The company commander told me all about it. He knew the word had gotten out.

A few days later, I've got 2 of the room residents in group therapy with soldiers from other units and the story comes out. These guys had a quantity of hashish, that looked and smelled right, but no intoxicant value. They crushed it up, mixed it into a can a paste wax and buffed it right into the floor.

Response by CW3 Joseph Lawrence made Aug 26 at 2020 2:41 PM

CW3 Joseph Lawrence — Wed, 26 Aug 2020 14:41:32 -0400

Germany years ago. An inspection by the Chief of Staff of the Army. He was supposed to fly down from Nurenberg but instead he decided to drive and check out the scenery. The Commanding Officer U.S. Army Europe was also coming in by air. When the Brigade CO and the rest of the officers found out that the Chief of Staff was coming by car, they all went to the front gate and left a Second Lieutenant to greet the CO of US Army Europe. When he got off his plane the Lieutenant saluted him and said your late sir, everyone's at the front gate. Well it was hell after that. One 4 star in the dayroom telling to CO how great things were and the other in the Supply Room throwing out bicycles and generally threatening everyone with a court martial. When it was over they called it black Thursday and to add insult to injury he said he was coming back in a week to re inspect, but thank God he never dir.

Response by Maj Ross Webster made Aug 26 at 2020 7:56 PM

Maj Ross Webster — Wed, 26 Aug 2020 19:56:08 -0400

GUY OVERHAULING HIS MOTORCYCLE IN HIS ROOM.

Response by SPC Stuart MacLeod made Sep 15 at 2020 7:46 AM

SPC Stuart MacLeod — Tue, 15 Sep 2020 07:46:34 -0400

Betty Crocker. Freaking coffee shot out my nose Roger, Roger, Roger, you need to warn people when your actually gunna be funny.

Response by PO3 Scot Fahey made Oct 6 at 2020 10:02 PM

PO3 Scot Fahey — Tue, 06 Oct 2020 22:02:53 -0400

The concept of BEQ inspection was something I managed to skip after boot camp (78/84) must be an Army thing. We lived off base as e-4

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 31 at 2020 8:52 AM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 31 Oct 2020 08:52:49 -0400

The 4am knock on the door when you have a local german girl in their with you.

Response by Capt Henry Heater made Dec 24 at 2020 5:28 PM

Capt Henry Heater — Thu, 24 Dec 2020 17:28:14 -0500

I recall a room inspection when I was a 4th classman (freshman) at the Air Force Academy in 1970. The Saturday Morning Inspections (SAMIs) were generally conducted by an upperclassman and were a real pain. Sometimes a real officer, the Officer of the Day, would go from squadron to squadron and spot check random rooms. On this occasion I got the Officer of the Day spot check by a Marine Lt Col known as the Green Onion (he was bald). He was also a nortorious a-hole. Cadets would alter their routes across campus just to avoid saluting him, and then getting stopped and written up if your uniform was not perfect. So when the Onion knocked, and I called the room to attention, I was petrified. My roommate and I had buffed the floor with melted paste wax, and then sprayed it with pledge for extra gloss. It was ungodly slick. Well as the Onion entered our room he slipped on the floor, nearly fell, and slammed into the heating unit at one end of the room. He looked at me and said “nice floor Heater.” Next he picked up a Jack Daniels bottle that my roommate had filled with iced tea and was using for a bookend. He demanded to know what it was, my roommate responded tea, and he unscrewed the top, sniffed it and muttered ok. Next he discovered my roommate’s budweiser beer can radio. Again he demanded to know what it was, and when told it was a radio, he turned it over and found the controls. Finally, he removed the top of my raised boot rack in the closet where I had hidden my forbidden popcorn popper. I was sure I was screwed, He merely looked at me, smiled and said “nice stereo Heater” and left the room, giving us high marks.

Response by SFC Walt "Butch" Deal made Dec 25 at 2020 10:35 AM

SFC Walt "Butch" Deal — Fri, 25 Dec 2020 10:35:09 -0500

One of my favorite memories was when I was a MP at Ft Polk 77-79 assigned to the 5th ID, 5th MP co. One night while working the night shift we got a call early in the morning to go to an infantry company. They had done a "health and welfare" inspection and found a suspicious looking dope pipe. When we arrived we were led to the Company Commanders office, Inside was the CO, the 1SG and a very scared looking young troop (standing at attention). On the commanders desk was a long cylindrical glass tube with a hose on one end and a squeeze ball attached to it. It was assumed that this was some sort of apparatus for smoking marijuana. My partner picked it up and stuck his nose inside and gave it a good whiff. I suddenly realized that I had seen it before in an advertisement. It was a pump devise used to enlarge a man's penis. I told the commander and 1SG what it was and they both laughed. The poor troop was ready to die of embarrassment. My partner suddenly realized what he had done. I asked him how he enjoyed smelling the troops genitals. He didn't see the humor at all and begged me not to tell the other MPs. hahahahahaha

Response by SSG Ray Elliott made Dec 26 at 2020 2:47 PM

SSG Ray Elliott — Sat, 26 Dec 2020 14:47:41 -0500

When I was in FT A school in Great Lakes we had a barracks inspection, I had a large bottle of aftershave in my locker, and the inspector picked it up and dropped it and broke the bottle. The room reeked of aftershave for a week after that, and after stripping the floor and rewaxing we couldn't get the white spots out of the floor where the alcohol in the aftershave turned the floor white. At the next Barracks inspection the same inspector failed us for the white spots on the floor.

Response by Maj John Bell made Dec 26 at 2020 11:39 PM

Maj John Bell — Sat, 26 Dec 2020 23:39:21 -0500

An unexploded artillery simulator round.

Response by PVT Donovan Graham made Dec 27 at 2020 4:42 AM

PVT Donovan Graham — Sun, 27 Dec 2020 04:42:54 -0500

Not the worst per se, but the funniest. Ft. Huachuca, a vibrating dildo fell off the top shelf of a wall locker. Female DS couldn't hold in her laughter, male DS couldn't bear to look. Idk what happened afterward but that was some pretty funny shit.

Response by SFC Clifford Brewer made Dec 27 at 2020 12:35 PM

SFC Clifford Brewer — Sun, 27 Dec 2020 12:35:54 -0500

I remember we had a 1SGT love to walk through the barracks and he would go through Soldiers rooms. He put our in formation he want each Soldier bed made and room clean before he let to go to there work place..the only excuse you had duty or was off and still in bed. This particular morning he checked rooms and found beds not made room not clean..he throw mattress off bed and clothes on the floor if wall locker was open it got empty to..this went on for a couple of months unlit Soldiers went to the CSM and he got worse until the CMDR told him it was enough..come up with another way to get Soldiers to clean there rooms.

Response by SSG Eric Blue made Dec 27 at 2020 1:15 PM

SSG Eric Blue — Sun, 27 Dec 2020 13:15:41 -0500

Stateside, I busted a soldier with his girlfriend and her children in his barracks room. Overseas, I busted a soldier with two Korean "juicies" and an underage soldier from another unit drinking soju in his room.

Response by 1LT Peter Duston made Dec 27 at 2020 1:18 PM

1LT Peter Duston — Sun, 27 Dec 2020 13:18:55 -0500

When the inspecting NCO came back from checking the latrine to tell us that it was infested with crabs and we had to all be dusted with "crab powder" probably DDT since this was 1956.

Response by SN Mike Duffy made Dec 28 at 2020 1:45 PM

SN Mike Duffy — Mon, 28 Dec 2020 13:45:32 -0500

This is a school that teaches people how to kill people. Am I right?

Response by SFC James Himes made Dec 28 at 2020 1:54 PM

SFC James Himes — Mon, 28 Dec 2020 13:54:55 -0500

Whiteman AFB. I got stuck with the pig-pen of the unit. Got tired of his shit and having to clean whole room for inspection. So next inspection I only waxed my half of the room and cleaned only my half. 1Sgt comes in and has a fit over room-mates slop. Asked me what the deal was. I explained. He admitted my half was the best area in the barracks. Made a deal. I would get a room to myself BUT it had to be inspection ready at all times. No problem with my OC and type A personality. Even got to use the 1Sgts' buffer when needed instead of the old beat up one the rest of the troops misused. Never heard a complaint my whole time there. Being K9 and working mostly nights also helped. Got called a kiss-ass by some of the guys but I was way past being insulted by such things.

Response by 1SG Bill Farmerie made Dec 28 at 2020 4:13 PM

1SG Bill Farmerie — Mon, 28 Dec 2020 16:13:44 -0500

I was at Ft Hood. We were getting ready to deploy to Bosnia. About two weeks before, the 1SG had all of the PSGs accompany him on an inspection of the rooms with the soldiers standing by. We entered a room and there was a smell. The room appeared clean, with the floor buffed and everything tidy. The 1SG asked the soldiers to unlock the wall lockers. There was one wall locker filled with nothing but pizza boxes which were "mostly" empty, just the scraps. There had to be around 50-60 boxes. That was where the smell was coming from. Glad they were not from my PLT.

Response by SSG H Robinette made Jan 4 at 2021 12:45 PM

SSG H Robinette — Mon, 04 Jan 2021 12:45:42 -0500

Was stationed on an Air Force base as part of an Army training detachment.
The commander announced that the base commander would be inspecting the barracks. We spent the proper amount of time and effort getting ready for the inspection and thought we had everything spic and span.
When the commander arrived he went into one room and asked about the furniture (we still have the metal bunks). The reply was that the new furniture was on order. He went into the second room and asked about the curtains. Same reply - on order. He then turned and said something like - "I will return when the curtains match the carpet." - We thought this was funny as hell.

Response by PO1 Steven Siepp made Jan 9 at 2021 1:32 PM

PO1 Steven Siepp — Sat, 09 Jan 2021 13:32:35 -0500

While conducting an Inventory inspection of a females barracks locker who had gone UA there was 27 pairs of soiled skivvies. she was 17 and apparently mom never told her about Tampons.

Response by 1SG Patrick Sims made Jan 10 at 2021 8:30 AM

1SG Patrick Sims — Sun, 10 Jan 2021 08:30:14 -0500

I've really got a case of the ass, for a dirty latrine, laundry rooms, and open food packages in the barracks.

Response by Jerry Rivas made Jan 10 at 2021 2:21 PM

Jerry Rivas — Sun, 10 Jan 2021 14:21:24 -0500

This is sort of related.....Some older vets may remember when barracks were inspected EVERY Saturday mornings.....Yes the Army used to be open for a half a day on Saturdays. LOL. In 1967 I was a 10 year old who used to go to work with my dad most Saturdays. He was 1st Sgt. German Rivas-Cortes......The meanest little Puerto-Rican top I ever knew. As I used to wander the company area I would hardcase the young soldiers. I would say crap like, "What did you shine those boots with? MUD???" Or, "Damnit private, did you polish your brass with dirt?" One time a soldier tried to smack me, but 2 other soldiers stopped him and said "cool it man, thats Tops kid" I was a mean little shit and I thought I was untouchable. One morning I was reading a comic book on the orderly room steps, and there was a company formation......I heard my dad screaming my name. I ran to the front of the formation and stood at attention in front of my dad and asked "Yes sir?" He proceeded to berate me for trash talking his troops, then he took off his old web belt and Beat the mortal living shit out of me.......IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE COMPANY......And to make matters worse, when he finished, the company started applauding. LOL, Oh my God, I was so damn embarrassed. Then years later as a 17 year old in basic training, a Puerto-Rican Drill Sgt named Rojas stood in front of me and was staring at my face and nametag......After a few questions we both realized that he was one of the young soldiers I had f'ed with.....Damnit man....He made my fisrt 3 weeks in the Army interesting......Dad passed away in 2008 and to this day I consider him the toughest man I ever met. He was the best soldier I ever saw.

Response by SFC Melvin Brandenburg made Jan 11 at 2021 9:12 AM

SFC Melvin Brandenburg — Mon, 11 Jan 2021 09:12:50 -0500

When I was squad leader, I had a soldier that was kind of off. He continually left his barracks room and wall locker unsecured. After the fifth or twelfth time (I lost count) counseling him and a company grade NJP, the PSG and I decided to set him up and stage a barracks inspection. We spent a week or so gathering all kinds of adult magazines and right before the inspection sent him to the dining facility on an errand. You guessed it, he left his wall locker unsecured. So we put, it must have been 100 if it was one, all of the magazines in his wall locker. When we came through with the 1SG and opened his wall locker, it was epic. We later filled top in. He never left his wall locker unsecured after that.

Response by SR Kenneth Beck made Jan 23 at 2021 2:36 PM

SR Kenneth Beck — Sat, 23 Jan 2021 14:36:57 -0500

My class 66-4 in Nuclear Power School had a surprise locker inspection. They found several links of Landjager Sausage made by my shipmates’ father, a Lithuania Butcher. The inspecting Chief, considering the source, drifty Nucs, left us in peace.

Response by SPC Robert Hendrickson made Jan 26 at 2021 9:23 PM

SPC Robert Hendrickson — Tue, 26 Jan 2021 21:23:05 -0500

From 1976-1992 we (my unit) I was asst sqd ldr in most of those inspections..had to inspect and be inspected..from plt to bin grade inspections..the worst same day inspections from the field after the training..and the best was give us time to prepare..two days after the trng..worst mud caked boots to tools not repaired or straight like they were supposed to be unless used..I was in artillery and cbt engr..active and generator repairer in the natl grd and fuel and electric power repairman..too much slackers costed my unit one inspected unit that had 3 days for a battalion sized that just barely passed and not get in trouble

Response by Sgt Dave VonAllmen made Feb 13 at 2021 8:01 AM

Sgt Dave VonAllmen — Sat, 13 Feb 2021 08:01:07 -0500

Nov 70' Air Force boot camp we had 2 DI's and we were I think about 2 weeks in and standing for our usual inspection. We had this one little round guy that just could not get anything right, time after time and we all knew it was really getting on the DI's nerves really bad because nothing they did had any affect on this guy. Well the finally go down the row and get to him and and sure enough his foot locker was not right and the one DI could not take it anymore picked up the footlocker and chucked it out the window, oh did I mention we were on the second floor. Then he grabs the little round guy and starts heading for the now smashed window we assume to throw him out and the other DI grabs both of them and the inspection was over for the day. We never saw the little round guy again, don't know what happened to him and as for the DI life went on as if nothing happened, we had to clean up the glass and footlocker.

Response by SPC Robert Hendrickson made Feb 14 at 2021 9:14 PM

SPC Robert Hendrickson — Sun, 14 Feb 2021 21:14:42 -0500

we had a PFC(P) that had a hygiene and sanitation PROBLEMS.. He stayed with a red-light lady in downtown frankfurt Germany.. He would not wash bodily wise or laundry..wicked odors caused our unit to have an annual inspection early. Needlessly unit failed.. and on top of that he got promoted to E-4..soon after we asked the SGM of battalion for a quick and a rapid washing of that S.M. it took a squad of 5 to clean him with a rough brush and to get him to get the message for cleaning him and his laundry..he got discharged a month later and we made sure he got on the plane to Texas

Response by PO2 Ron Gunsolus made Feb 18 at 2021 10:54 AM

PO2 Ron Gunsolus — Thu, 18 Feb 2021 10:54:56 -0500

Someone took a classified book out of the secured building at Nuclear Power School (presumably to study) , so we had an all barracks inspection to find it...
PO Fergusson had an 'inflate-a-mate' stashed in his locker... unclean... :o

Response by SGT Randall Smith made Feb 18 at 2021 3:20 PM

SGT Randall Smith — Thu, 18 Feb 2021 15:20:16 -0500

Stationed in Germany and had just made Spc4. Out of the big bay of 24 men and into what was almost a private room. Only 11 of us in it. Our new CO had just made 1LT and CO. Was doing a Saturday inspection. Room was perfect, could see your reflection off the floor, not a dust bunny anywhere. He reached above a locker and unscrewed the cap on a canteen. He got a bath. One of the guys had not emptied his after we returned from an alert exercise. The next two weekends we prepared out room and the floor Latrine for the TOPs inspection. that included the SP5 in charge of our room.

Response by Lt Col Timothy Cassidy-Curtis made Feb 18 at 2021 9:32 PM

Lt Col Timothy Cassidy-Curtis — Thu, 18 Feb 2021 21:32:05 -0500

This is not, per se, an inspection of the barracks, but I believe it might have a good home, here.
My wife and I (both Captains in the Air Force) worked on the Space Launch Complex 6 (SLC 6) when we thought we were going to be launching a Space Shuttle from the West Coast (Vandenberg, AFB, CA). This was truly an exciting assignment. Now, it needs to be understood that the Space Shuttle West Coast Launch Facility (again, SLC-6) was amounting to a fairly expensive project, and cost overruns were not as uncommon as we would have liked. We were, however, dedicated. Moreover, we were making good progress, and would have succeeded. If only...sigh. (But that's a different story.) We had successfully mated the Enterprise to the facility, and that went well. We also had a successful Early Operational Test (we opened one of the doors).
One day, we had senior officers (O-5 and O-6's) tour the site. The rest of us were on "trash" duty. Yes, anybody who was a CGO or lower was picken' up da' trash. We didn't mind (...much). My wife checks a spot on the ground and found a dollar bill. She decided to make a comment.
"Well, we've been pouring so much into this thing, I'm not surprised that some of it is leaking out."
The O-6's were trying to be Not Amused. The O-5's were straining to keep a straight face.

Response by SFC Terry Wilcox made Feb 18 at 2021 10:00 PM

SFC Terry Wilcox — Thu, 18 Feb 2021 22:00:47 -0500

WE finally got females in our unit, and to be funny the First Sergeant made me do an inspection of their room. What do I know of female uniforms and personal gear? NOTHING! Made them open their dresser drawers, OMG! How - what - I mean - OMG!? All I could say was get together, and make a UNIFORM display ... and Put those personal things - during inspections - in your cars - They are not necessary items for a uniform inspection. Hang all your uniforms in the same direction, and in order. EMPTY YOUR TRASH CANS!! That Ain't Funny!

Response by SPC Lyle Montgomery made Feb 20 at 2021 5:58 PM

SPC Lyle Montgomery — Sat, 20 Feb 2021 17:58:59 -0500

When I was in Army basic at Fort Polk in 1969 My squad had the latrine duty. We brassoed all the brass fixtures, used bore brushes to clean all the holes in the urinals ,scrubbed all the toilets. I was standing at attention next to one of the toilets. When the colonel looked into them ,The one next ot me had one little turd in it that hadn't gone down with the last flush.I hadn't noticed it before the inspection. The colonel told me to reach in and remove the turd and put it in another toilet and flush it. I knew how to play their silly games so i did it. After all it was just a turd. Another guy starter giggleing and the colonel saw him laughing. He had me untuck the laughing guys shirt and wipe my hands on it. (they were just wet) Then he got his ass chewed out for being out of uniform. No reprisals were given to me. Just another silly basic training game.

Response by SPC Ted Heath made Feb 21 at 2021 3:02 PM

SPC Ted Heath — Sun, 21 Feb 2021 15:02:35 -0500

Knowing the command General was coming to inspect our post in Germany, we had plenty of time to get ready. I was on CQ the night before, and the CO wanted me to do the floors in his and Top’s offices. I stayed up all knight making mirrors out of those floors. Just before inspection, my CQ duties ended, and the CO told me I couldn’t go to sleep, as the barracks were to be inspected, and my quarters were there. He suggested the snack bar until after the inspection, so away I went. A bit later, someone was shaking me awake. I was startled to see a 3 star and his Entourage. The General wanted to know why I was sleeping at the snack bar in duty uniform. After I explained, he ordered me to my room, and to disregard what my CO told me. A few hours later, I heard my door open, then a gentle voice In a whisper say, “ we will leave this one alone, I inspected him asleep in the snack bar earlier. He still looks squared away.”

Response by SFC Vin Antonuccio made Feb 22 at 2021 4:26 AM

SFC Vin Antonuccio — Mon, 22 Feb 2021 04:26:38 -0500

Not an inspection per se.
I was a Drill SGT in the late 80's.
Monday 0330 barracks wake up. 80 troops per bay.
I was aggressively

Response by PO1 Todd McMillin made Feb 22 at 2021 4:45 PM

PO1 Todd McMillin — Mon, 22 Feb 2021 16:45:05 -0500

Living aboard a ship and also living in transit quarters for Weekend Warriors/TAR/TAD/Etc. I've got horror stories everything from finding used condoms, drugs, and even stains we didn't even want to know about. While we usually had to clean up certain spaces; plenty of temporary help was hired locally from around town as junior enlisted spouses needed jobs and were paid usual the standard rates at the bases for custodian duties.

However, sometimes we had to call in the PROFESSIONAL CLEANERS that they'd use for CRIME SCENE CLEANING to get rid of this. The base budget had special funds from the Housing Office and would send these folks a notice to clean an area afterwards. Not to mention the few times there was domestic violence issues as well as a few homicides or suicides which happened during the Holidays or End of Career in some cases due to failure of the military to treat C-PTSD and other Mental Health Issues.

As a Senior Enlisted I'd have to go and do inspections about once a week during my last 90 days on ROADIE duty at NAS/NAB Norfolk. I was loathe having to see brand new buildings less than 18 months old look trashed out like the aftermath of a Rock and Roll Tour. Beds that had stained and torn sheets, even when they're allowed to buy stuff from the local PX or whatever. Alcohol bottles out and broken on the floors and just shoved under the beds. I could even see Pee and Fecal matter on the walls and some times the ceilings along with Bloodstains?

I'm like "REALLY? Are you FUCKING Kidding Me?" I'd simply write up a report and then put a copy on the door and then give a copy to the BEQ and Command to let them know....

Honestly, I'm of the belief that after 1990s onwards the fact that the Error of Reagan and onwards; cutting basic educational services nationally to make people dumber. It also removed them from learning the necessary life skills that used to be mandatory like Home Economics, Civics, etc. As well as basic fucking hygiene for a lot of people.

Sadly, I noticed that the Female Enlisted Quarters were oftentimes more disgusting and vile than their Male counterparts since 1990s onwards. Everything from back flow of toilets thanks to tampons and other feminine hygiene products being improperly thrown away to their trash containers in common areas. Those inspections in comparison were making my post-military life of visiting a few College and University Dorms I've been to seem like a 4-Star Hotel in comparison.

Response by SPC Donald Donovan made Feb 23 at 2021 5:57 PM

SPC Donald Donovan — Tue, 23 Feb 2021 17:57:17 -0500

Early 80’s 8th MP Co, 8th ID. Bad Kreuznach West Germany. 0430 surprise Health & Welfare inspection. My platoon was one floor above the female solders rooms. First Sergeant and CO walking through rooms, checking lockers. Opened the wall locker of a pretty blond SP4 to find her E5 squad leader Sergeant NAKED inside. He looks straight at the First Sergeant and says “ Morning Top”. CO walked out doing his damdest not to bust out laughing. 1ST SGT Just shakes his head, and instructed the E5 to leave and report to his office ASAP. Reassigned to Baumholder that morning.

Response by PO1 Robert Anderson made Feb 24 at 2021 12:32 PM

PO1 Robert Anderson — Wed, 24 Feb 2021 12:32:33 -0500

Not an inspection, but when I was in A school, we were sitting around playing cards, now there was a central room and four bedrooms with two beds in each pod, I guess you could call it. Well, they brought in a new guy and he had to pee. Well, the pod he was assigned to, the one guy was leaving the next day and had a visitor. Someone went in and told them real quick and the new guy went in and peed. Came out with a smile as the girl was hiding in the shower without pulling the curtain shut.

Response by CPT David Coffman made Feb 24 at 2021 3:50 PM

CPT David Coffman — Wed, 24 Feb 2021 15:50:07 -0500

During a full field inspection in our four man room at the Berlin NCO Academy in 1968, SSG Foxworth (The Fox- never spoke unless he meant it) walked over to a roommate, picked up his entrenching tool and extended it to his front. As the shovel head dropped down it emitted a rusty squeak and dropped a clump of dirt to the floor. I cracked up and couldn't stop laughing. Without hesitation, I dropped to the floor and started pushing the earth away. The Fox turned slightly, looked at me and said, "That's right" as he finished his inspection, leaving me pushing away until he left the room.

Response by SSgt Brian Gray made Feb 24 at 2021 11:22 PM

SSgt Brian Gray — Wed, 24 Feb 2021 23:22:27 -0500

Had an inspection at Fort Lewis (1973). The old North Fort buildings were cold in winter, hot in the summer. Had a Fly Strip in the corner with about 5 flies attached to it. The inspecting Officer couldn't find a thing wrong until he saw the Fly Strip. "Those aren't Flies on that strip, are there?" He bellowed. One quick thinking Private yelled back, "No, Sir! They are raisins we use for bait!" The officer just turned and left!

Response by GySgt Lawrence Clark made Feb 26 at 2021 12:31 PM

GySgt Lawrence Clark — Fri, 26 Feb 2021 12:31:51 -0500

In January of 1970 I was a Lance Corporal stationed at MCAS Cherry Point. In those days every E3 and below had to perform thirty days either guard duty or mess duty per year. I was assigned guard duty. We (it was running guard) began duty at 1800 hours till 0600. Slept during the day. Also, in that time, in order to be able to get your "Liberty Card" for the weekend we had to perform a "field day" on Thursday evening for inspection by the Battalion Commander and the Sergeant Major on Friday morning. On this particular Friday morning I had finished guard and returned to main side, had chow at the Mess Hall and returned to my barracks for a shower and some rack time. I am standing in front of my rack, toweling off when suddenly the door to our room swung open and there stood the Bn Co and the Sergeant Major. I said. " Good morning Sir and Good morning Seargeant Major." The Sgt Major gave me a hard look for about three seconds then continued the room inspection. They left the room and within three seconds the door swung open and there stood the Sgt Maj, all six foot five of him glowering at me like enraged grizzly. (This old boy was a veteran of Guadalcanal, Tarawa and Okinawa) He said, "Lance Corporal, when the Commanding Officer comes into your room you come to the position of Attention!" I said, "Sgt Major I was naked." He replied. "I don't give a damn what you were- you stand at attention." So I was supposed to stand there naked with my Johnson swinging in the breeze. I know this was a long winded tale but in my forty years of service I thought this was the most ludicrous and goofy command and reprimand I had ever received.

Response by SGT Ed Luckie made Mar 1 at 2021 1:52 PM

SGT Ed Luckie — Mon, 01 Mar 2021 13:52:58 -0500

We had a guy in our barracks who did not like to do laundry. On the evening before the inspection he shoved all his dirty laundry above the ceiling tiles in his barracks room. The next morning, somebody told the Captain about it. So when the Captain made it to his room he used a broom handle to open up the tile and all the dirty laundry came down. The idiot spent the weekend doing his laundry and cleaning his room.

Response by SPC Johnny Velazquez, PhD made Mar 2 at 2021 11:06 PM

SPC Johnny Velazquez, PhD — Tue, 02 Mar 2021 23:06:44 -0500

We had an inspection while stationed in Germany. As we lined up, we heard a booing voice coming from across the hall. My buddy looked at me and said that the person behind that voice must be a giant of a man. Well, you know the drill. You're at attention, and don't dare look around. I must say that as he got closer, I was prepared tp look up at a giant. To my shock, as he got closer, I saw what I thought was an Elf. I started to grin, but had to bite my lip. As he stood in front of me, I made the mistake of lowering my head just to get a glimpse of him. That booming voice said to me, "Look straight ahead, soldier, and don't you dare to lower your head." I didn't even smile. I really got it from our Top.

Response by SPC James Seigars made Mar 9 at 2021 3:49 AM

SPC James Seigars — Tue, 09 Mar 2021 03:49:06 -0500

With over 20 years between the three components of the Army I have a few, some pretty bad, stories. But those seem to be covered from what I have read so far, so here is my story of the LAST inspections I did before retiring from the Military. Unfortunately this story has to do with mold, fortunately I had dealt with this problem a year prior & knew how to go about “fixing” it.

I had just been made the Battalion Building Inspector for my new unit after coming back to my old base once I failed my MOS course for the first time after successfully passing FOUR schools & two OJT MOS’s (It had to happen sometime). Anyway, I was to go to the five AIT barracks & inspect them before the next cycle since many soldiers (trainees & cadre) had been getting various sicknesses lately with the barracks being the one thing they shared in common.

The first thing I noticed upon entering the first few rooms wa that they all had a musky smell (which most attributed to this being a male building with cologne, after shave, male “Oder”, etc. being blamed). I also noticed that for some reason every room had a small (maybe 3x3 foot) piece of CARPET GLUED ON THE WALL.

So after going into a few rooms with basically the same results I returned to the first one and pulled part of the carpet from the wall only to be met by a cloud of mold spores (as expected. As I said I had dealt with something similar the year prior). After repeating this a few times in all five barracks and turning in my inspection report I managed to help the CoC get all five buildings refurbished over the next two years before I retired (We/they kept one building empty, splitting the trainees from that building amongst the other four buildings. Once one building was finished with remodeling we moved the trainees on to the next one until they were all completed).

Response by CW3 Joseph Lawrence made Mar 9 at 2021 2:13 PM

CW3 Joseph Lawrence — Tue, 09 Mar 2021 14:13:56 -0500

How about a guy who didn't shower, and managed to infect the entire floor of the barracks with body lice. I was the Supply Sgt. at the time and had to have all my linen taken to the a place and have it destroyed and new issued, that included, pillows, blankets, sheets, mattress covers, and mattresses. They were inspecting the barracks and I was asked why I was sleeping in a squad bay and when the broke down the door to his room, the smell almost killed them. The Post Engineers had to completely repaint the room and the lockers and bunks were taken to the motor pool and steam cleaned. The man in question, a SSG, was transferred back to the states under what our C.O. called a disciplinary transfer. What a week of hell it was for a poor supply sergeant At the time this was done we had a thing called quarterly droppage and I was using mine to get extra linen. Well I could only get back what was on the books and the extra went by the wayside.

Response by SGT Randall Smith made Mar 9 at 2021 5:24 PM

SGT Randall Smith — Tue, 09 Mar 2021 17:24:10 -0500

I'm sure things have changed since I was in the Army 1966-1969 but when did soldiers start wearing head gear while inside a bulding?

Response by PO1 Steven Siepp made Mar 10 at 2021 12:28 AM

PO1 Steven Siepp — Wed, 10 Mar 2021 00:28:46 -0500

A couple of things come to mind, Never state you are ready for inspection, always standing by for inspection. the inspector will rise to the challenge, unless you like Saturday reinspects. and when I was more junior would wax and buff the deck with car wax and hit it with pledge furniture polish right before room inspection. talk about busting your ass on a slick floor.

Response by PO3 Brandyn Nicholas made Mar 18 at 2021 11:34 AM

PO3 Brandyn Nicholas — Thu, 18 Mar 2021 11:34:33 -0400

Lol I had a buddy who was one of the BPO's for our barracks he said him and a chief from one of the commands was walking around doing inspections for that command one day, and they entered one sailors room after knocking and not hearing a response. The dude was bent over face down in his pillow with headphones on going to town with a dildo. He said the chief looked horrified and just backed out slowly and said "let's just move on to the next one." I can imagine it was pretty awkward at work later

Response by PO1 Michael Cressler made Apr 19 at 2021 3:45 PM

PO1 Michael Cressler — Mon, 19 Apr 2021 15:45:24 -0400

Had a rack inspection shortly after leaving HK in 91 on the Lincoln for M-Dev. Snipes all of them. Had my CPO, LT, and RO doing the inspections. Chief starts freaking, pulls out a pair of pliers and grabs the biggest pair of cheetah skin panties from this tiny FNs rack. WTF is this? Kid proudly states he had hooked up at Rick's Cafe in HK. The part that made it worse was the size of the skid marks.

We had some dirty MFers in M-Div. Also had a Sox Offender. Dude would snag one of your socks, drop a nut in it , and throw it back on your rack if you were on watch when laundry was passed out. Never figured out who it was. Would have been thrown overboard

Response by SGT Moose Burleson made Apr 20 at 2021 7:08 PM

SGT Moose Burleson — Tue, 20 Apr 2021 19:08:36 -0400

A large pentagram in blood on the soldiers floor. Kelly Barrack Kaserne, Darmstadt Germany.

Response by PO2 Eric Lozaga made Jun 1 at 2021 9:59 PM

PO2 Eric Lozaga — Tue, 01 Jun 2021 21:59:26 -0400

Here is a ridiculous one.. I wasn't doing a room inspection.. it was my room. I actually have a few stories, because honestly.. I had a messy room, always have and probably always will. I can't function in a clean room. I was damn good at my job though so that's all I cared about.

One time I ordered something online and it came in a big box of packing peanuts.. which proceeded to get allllll over the carpet floor. Me being a smart E1 or E2 at the time didn't want to pick it all up by hand.. so I got a vacuum and tried to vacuum it all up. Which didn't work. So me being.. me.. I thought, I can vacuum it up if they were smaller pieces.. so I stomped on all the popcorn pieces and basically shredded them all up into tiny little pieces all over the room. The vacuum didn't pick it up. lmao After trying to pick it up by hand it was getting pretty late so I went to bed. The next day at work I get a call that I failed a room inspection. So my E6 went down with me and his jaw about dropped when we walked in. haha I ended up getting it all picked up several hours later.

Another time I had just got a bunch of computer parts and had been setting it up all night. I finally passed out about 3 or 4am, computer parts and boxes still laying out everywhere. I wake up to a tap on my bed... "we are here for a room inspection. You failed" I said sorry. I was up all night and didn't finish.. and fell back asleep

One time I was going on leave for a few days, and was rushing around packing at the last minute, leaving my room in a huge mess because I didn't have time to clean it. I had some nice freshly made cookies though, so I set it by the front door with a sign that said I'm sorry about the mess, I am on leave.. but please enjoy a cookie. I didn't get a room inspection the entire time :(

I got nominate for junior sailor of the quarter (a few times actually, like I said.. I was great at my job). So I go to my SOQ board, nailing it.. doing great. Then one of them said "I just heard you failed your room inspection just now". I said I probably did. I didn't get JSOQ. lol My E8 wasn't very happy about that and sent me to go work cleaning detail on a ship for a week. Which was pretty skate. Didn't teach me a damn thing about cleaning though. Afterwards she asked how it went, and I said "It was good!" all happy like. She said excuse me it was good? I thought oops. "I meant it was good and I learned a lot about cleaning" lol

One day I was at work and I was informed I failed a room inspection. My E6 wasn't very happy.. but I kept telling him I left the room clean and I don't know what I failed on. So we both went over there. Apparently I had some dust on the top lip of the air conditioner vent, about 8 feet up. Everything else looked perfect. He said ok, that's some BS.. you're good.

I don't miss room inspections.

Response by Pvt SanJuana Méndez made Jun 3 at 2021 9:41 PM

Pvt SanJuana Méndez — Thu, 03 Jun 2021 21:41:38 -0400

Nvr actually had chance to stand in formation for inspection. Had just returned from 10 day emergency leave that had been extended by 2 wks, just in time to be told to do my laundry & prepare for major inspection following day.

Went in &, instead of taking clothing out of laundry bag individually, grabbed bag at bottom & dumped clothing into washer; didn't notice 'til too late that I'd kept PT sock from getting washed.

In order to cut dwn time getting dressed every morning, I'd developed routine of keeping some buttons undone. Don't know if it wz coz I wz nervous about my first inspection or just my effort to get dressed fast as possible but I wz pulled out of chow line by D.I. demanding explanation for "being out of uniform" as she pointed at my waist. I looked dwn & found top 2 buttons on PT skirt crisscrossed. After I explained my routine, she pointed at my feet & asked why I wz wearing fatigues socks with PT uniform. At that point, I explained why I'd chosen to wear wrong sox instead of one clean sock with dirty one.

This caused me to be written up, & may be one reason my honorable discharge wz based on attitude.

Response by SPC Randy Holloway made Jun 14 at 2021 2:18 PM

SPC Randy Holloway — Mon, 14 Jun 2021 14:18:59 -0400

My roommate kept his spit bottle in the fridge

Response by PFC Pamala (Hall) Foster made Jun 15 at 2021 10:18 AM

PFC Pamala (Hall) Foster — Tue, 15 Jun 2021 10:18:14 -0400

My horror story-Tonsilitis during a CG Inspection. When the General asked me to talk, my Staff SGT told him I was under a NO Talk profile due to swollen Tonsils...he goes "So that is why the dry erase board in her closet? Well, I think she's doing good..." boy, did my CSM laugh and he saw that I was hurting. Because the female floor was spotless, we got the pass. From that day on, a few of the guys called me 'Squeaky' because my voice when I tried to talk was nothing but a squeak-NO VOICE, and my throat hurt like HELL!

Response by SPC George Allen made Jun 28 at 2021 8:19 PM

SPC George Allen — Mon, 28 Jun 2021 20:19:39 -0400

While stationed in Germany we were getting a pre-inspection by the 1SG. Each man in our unit was allowed to have one case of bottled beer in the room. The inspection started on the first floor and my 7 roommates and I lived in the attic on the forth floor. We had gotten ready for the inspection by having a real GI party. So we stacked all the empty bottles 7 racks of them behind the door with the hopes he wouldn't notice. Our door was closed and when the inspection group got to our door, my section leader never knocked he just sailed our door open as he and the 1SG walked in to the awesome sound of the door hitting and knocking over 7 racks of empty beer bottles. The 1SG looked at all the broken glass and said........Clean that up.....turned and left the room no further inspection necessary.

Response by TSgt Irished Ferris made Jun 29 at 2021 11:41 AM

TSgt Irished Ferris — Tue, 29 Jun 2021 11:41:26 -0400

I was the Dorm mgr at a Northern tier SAC base ( Missile cops) and during an inspection by the ORI team i went with the inspector as he picked out which rooms he wanted opened. As we entered the last room he slid one end of the locker door open and the the other one. Then he said ok lets go Sgt. As we were departing he turned around and slid open one of the doors and then we departed. As we were walking back to meet the rest of his team he said to me " Do all of the rooms come with a girl in the closet? I stammered and he just laughed. I didn't think he saw her but he did. My Dorm went from the worst in SAC to the best.

Response by PO2 Steven Michaeli made Jul 24 at 2021 7:15 AM

PO2 Steven Michaeli — Sat, 24 Jul 2021 07:15:50 -0400

When i was the NCOD at RAF Mildenhall in the early 1980s we went into the female barracks for a scheduled inspection. I would knock on the door, announce "males entering " open the door, call the room to attention, and the colonel and female junior officer would inspect. One room was occupied by two females who were in a comprising activity. The two officers inspected as if nothing unusual was happening. After we left the colonel told me, " you forgot to call the room to attention sergeant ".

Response by SPC James Nokes made Jul 28 at 2021 3:49 PM

SPC James Nokes — Wed, 28 Jul 2021 15:49:03 -0400

I'll leave my story as a word of advice.
If you have a Command Inspection coming up, and if you need to buff your barracks room floor so bright, it shines better than glass, DON'T APPLY ARMOR ALL to it!
...Seeing your brigade CSM slip and slide, and damn near fall on his ass might be funny, but, it's NOT worth the hell he will inevitably rain down upon you if you did it on purpose to make him slip.
My roomies and I are still grateful he had a sense of humor, and respected our honesty.
He could haver smote us from a considerable height, but he simply asked what had caused it.
We told him.
He told us not to use that anymore, as it could be a safety hazard, we agreed, they left.
We passed anyway, LoL.

Response by PFC Martin Potashner made Aug 7 at 2021 10:24 AM

PFC Martin Potashner — Sat, 07 Aug 2021 10:24:54 -0400

I never saw anything like you see in the movies

Response by SFC Dave Garcia made Sep 3 at 2021 12:17 AM

SFC Dave Garcia — Fri, 03 Sep 2021 00:17:47 -0400

At Ft Campbell, as a joke a couple soldiers picked up a blow up sheep just out the gate a a sex toy shop. Inflated it and filled the orifices with lotion. It was then put in a friend that was on a 3 day pass room as a joke. Pvt. Murphy struck first thing in the morning. Ua test and room inspections. It was a hell of a good joke, but piss poor timing.

Response by MSgt Mason Manner made Sep 3 at 2021 8:34 PM

MSgt Mason Manner — Fri, 03 Sep 2021 20:34:43 -0400

As a SSgt w/3 OSs tours 6 years TIS I was written up for an improperly made bed(white collar)it was supposed to be DUST cover I then had to show me how it was done because it had almost 6 years since I left basic/tech school

Response by Cpl Craig Howard made Sep 21 at 2021 12:47 AM

Cpl Craig Howard — Tue, 21 Sep 2021 00:47:13 -0400

We had a newbie in our barracks that transferred from another unit. He had a chip on his shoulder from day one, and did nothing to make friends. One day, someone got in his face and set him straight, verbally, and we thought that was that. He went to the Sgt Maj first thing the next morning and said enough that we had a Health and Comfort inspection that afternoon. I don't think that any of us got away without something being found in our possession, except for him. He cleaned his stuff out.

He was forcefully removed from the barracks that evening.

Response by CWO3 Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 21 at 2021 11:41 AM

CWO3 Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 21 Sep 2021 11:41:12 -0400

A local girl in a wall locker. Alive of course. She was relocated to a hooch in the woods nearby, and fed MREs. All by her choice.

Response by Sgt Jake Middlebrook made Sep 22 at 2021 1:56 PM

Sgt Jake Middlebrook — Wed, 22 Sep 2021 13:56:50 -0400

When I was in Thailand I performed maintance on a military device that emitted inferred. On mid-shift we discovered it was also a fine pop tart cooker. I had one just about right and the guy facing the door came to attention. So I go you like pop tarts sir this one is about ready. He turned out to be the nicest Col. I ever met. You didn't want to give him reason to be tough on you but if all you were doing was cooking pop tarts with military hardware he He would have one on occasion and bring a new box now and then

Response by SSG Brian Carpenter made Oct 29 at 2021 10:28 PM

SSG Brian Carpenter — Fri, 29 Oct 2021 22:28:40 -0400

Taylor Barracks Germany soldier who everyone knew never had a date in his life had an abundance of used personal protection under his bunk or SSG Fort Carson everything in his room was made from dead animals he liked to let the maggots eat the bones clean

Response by CPO Curt Kuhn made Dec 21 at 2021 8:47 PM

CPO Curt Kuhn — Tue, 21 Dec 2021 20:47:24 -0500

In Navy "A" school we had a barracks/personnel inspection by the officer in charge. During the personnel inspection a young SA Seaman Apprentice (E-2) had apparently visited the exchange and randomly picked up some uniform enhancements aka Ribbons, he obviously was not aware of not only precedence but meaning. As the OIC continues with his inspection he focused dead on the young SA. Looked him in the eye and asked him how it was serving with Commodore Dewey during the Spanish American war?? I think that young man now knows more about cleaning floors and heads than any other sailor.

Response by SFC Gary Fox made Dec 21 at 2021 11:22 PM

SFC Gary Fox — Tue, 21 Dec 2021 23:22:41 -0500

At Fort Gordon, we had rooms with two each in the barracks. I had to conduct a health and welfare inspection. One room there were stacks about four feet high of empty pizza boxes and lots of Chinese takeout cartons. I a room shared by two females, the floor was wall to wall dirty laundry, to include the bathroom. Needless to say, I ordered a GI party.

Response by SSG Ralph Watkins made Dec 22 at 2021 11:07 AM

SSG Ralph Watkins — Wed, 22 Dec 2021 11:07:48 -0500

My one buddy sort of resembled Charlie Chaplin, the old time comedian. He loved to joke around too. Room inspections became mundane. We just got a new CO in. My buddy made sure to make an impression. He put blocks under all of the furniture so that is all leaned sideways. All of the posters, calendar, etc that was on his wall was also tilted. Of course, my buddy stood at attention, leaning the same way. Our new CO came in all serious & just looked around not knowing how to react. He finally burst out laughing.

Response by MSG Jeff Glass made Dec 22 at 2021 5:26 PM

MSG Jeff Glass — Wed, 22 Dec 2021 17:26:49 -0500

Inside our squad bay during room inspections the MP'S had brought the drug sniffing dogs through. The weird soldier at the end of the room. When the dogs started to sniff around his barracks bag the dog got excited and started humping the laundry bag. The 1SG started yelling to dump everything out the bag only to find all different colors and sizes of woman's dirty underwear. The private was chaptered out a few months later.

Response by SGT Charles Whited made Apr 4 at 2022 10:55 PM

SGT Charles Whited — Mon, 04 Apr 2022 22:55:02 -0400

Why are they wearing headgear inside?

Response by SSG Rob Lawrence made Jul 21 at 2022 4:56 PM

SSG Rob Lawrence — Thu, 21 Jul 2022 16:56:38 -0400

During an in ranks inspection, a soldier in the next squad was asked a question by the the 2nd Lt platoon leader. This 2Lt was from Puerto Rico and spoke excellent English, but did at times get his words crossed. The 2Lt asked the soldier, “PFC, did you take a hair cut?” The soldier then replied, “No sir, I didn’t even know one was missing.” I was watching the faces of the Platoon Sergeant and the Squad leader after the PFC answered and I could seee them biting their tongues to keep from laughing out loud. This young 2Lt later made some mistakes regarding land navigation and before we knew it he was gone from being a platoon leader to being put on the battalion staff.

Response by SPC Greg Campbell made Nov 25 at 2022 9:35 AM

SPC Greg Campbell — Fri, 25 Nov 2022 09:35:04 -0500

The thin all troops hate, ye ol dreaded AGI,. Our company was elected to do the class A and room inspection. Leaving one guy to guard the room. My roomate was said guard. He haf taken his Huka and brassoed the crap out of it. He decided to display it on top of the fridge over a towel. After the inspection we were told to go stand by our bunks. We didn't notice it at the beginning but as soon as Top came in He spotted it and went to post himself in front of it, while doing a shuffle to hide it. When the inspectors went upstairs we had to close th÷ door and a pillow to muffle our laughing. Top came back an hour latter to chew us out. But the Hooka was gone and we never heard about it again.

Response by MSG Thomas Currie made Nov 26 at 2022 4:07 PM

MSG Thomas Currie — Sat, 26 Nov 2022 16:07:41 -0500

Not a BARRACKS inspection story, but many years ago I was with 1st ID (Fwd) in Augsburg. The division knew that the new Corps commander was coming to visit. His visit was scheduled for a Monday morning.

He actually arrived the Friday before -- wearing is field jacket without rank insignia. He wandered all over the kaserne talking to soldiers. Apparently his usual line was something like "Hi, I just got assigned here. How are things here?"

This was Friday before the Division was expecting the three-star to show up on Monday. Needless to say, privates were busily painting rocks and doing other stuff that they considered useless nonsense -- and they were happy to tell The New Guy all about it.

But it gets worse...

He came to our battalion mess hall for lunch. Signed in and paid for his meal. Went upstairs, got his tray, walked over to the "Officers Only" table, set his tray down, and took off his field jacket to hang it on the back of the chair. Needless to say, the sight of those bright silver stars on his collar generated a panic. One of the officers at the table ran downstairs to call the Bn CO. He then stopped by the Head Count to chew him out for not having called At Ease when a senior officer entered the mess hall.

Then the Bn CO arrived, and the Head Count immediately called At Ease.

A few minutes later the Div Fwd CG (a 1-star) arrived, and the Head Count called At Ease again.

Fortunately the Corps commander had a sense of humor

Response by A1C Medrick "Rick" DeVaney made Aug 31 at 2023 10:56 AM

A1C Medrick "Rick" DeVaney — Thu, 31 Aug 2023 10:56:13 -0400

.."What is the most ridiculous / disgusting /etc thing you have ever witnessed during a Barracks Inspection?"
~~ TOO EASY~~
The One Doing The Inspection.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 1 at 2023 1:12 AM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 01 Sep 2023 01:12:51 -0400

Coiled rattlesnake in the freezer ready to strike.

Response by CPT Arch Nissel made Oct 16 at 2023 5:02 PM

CPT Arch Nissel — Mon, 16 Oct 2023 17:02:37 -0400

From the receiving end: I was still a PFC in 8th Engr Bn FT Hood TX. I had sent a 3 day weekend diving and snorkeling in local lakes and we had a surprise inspection on Monday Morning at 0700. I had my dive knife (a Gerber now worth 1000s) and my speargun in my locker as I could not put them back in the arms room until the armorer came in. The CO a West Point 1LT and I were not friends as I had let out the secret of him shooting a hole in his jeep on a field problem. Needless to say I lost my gear but wone the appeal of the AR-15.

Response by SPC John Dodge made Dec 9 at 2023 11:29 AM

SPC John Dodge — Sat, 09 Dec 2023 11:29:55 -0500

I dumped full laundry bag on the floor and cockroachs scattered out of the pile.

Response by SPC John Dodge made Dec 9 at 2023 11:35 AM

SPC John Dodge — Sat, 09 Dec 2023 11:35:28 -0500

The worst thing I every did was have a bottle of Stolychnia in my locker. It was 1976 and I was on the Czech border with the 2d ACR. The USSR was the bad guys. I just liked the vodka.

Response by SGT Juan Robledo made Jan 22 at 2024 2:37 PM

SGT Juan Robledo — Mon, 22 Jan 2024 14:37:08 -0500

During my time in Basic Training, across the hallway to the room of 8 men, the guy near5est the door had filthy sweaty clothes stuffed under his locker, the Drill Sargent tore him a new Butthole, he threw everything out on the floor, he was grounded till washed his nasty clothing, got his locker squared away, he eventually got kicked out and sent packing

Response by 1SG Rick Seekman made Jan 26 at 2024 7:48 PM

1SG Rick Seekman — Fri, 26 Jan 2024 19:48:42 -0500

Back in 1976, we were having a barricks inspection by the First Sergeant. As he came to the wall locker next to ours, he found water in a canteen. All hell broke loose! He told the private to take the canteen outside and empty it. The private grabbed the canteen and the 1SG said no private, you and your buddy carry this wall locker outside and then empty the canteen. Well, mission was complete and we all were petrified of our further inspections! Needless to say no more water was found. Now, the wall lockers were the old metal kind.

Response by SSG Frank Bova made Jan 28 at 2024 1:35 AM

SSG Frank Bova — Sun, 28 Jan 2024 01:35:49 -0500

I pulled CQ one night and a trainee told me that his wallet was stolen. I ordered an open locker inspection for the whole company. This was in 1968. Was unable to find the wallet but found a stash of marijuana. Called the MPs and the First Sergeant and the trainee was taken away. The next morning I see this trainee in formation with his platoon. I went to the CO and asked why this trainee is out of the lockup and he told me that I wasn’t looking for contraband, I was looking for a wallet so they had to let him loose. Back then, marijuana was a serious offense and I’m still scratching my head thinking how screwed up that whole thing was.

Response by SFC Tracy Donahoo made Mar 27 at 2024 12:40 PM

SFC Tracy Donahoo — Wed, 27 Mar 2024 12:40:11 -0400

Germany 1986-ish we have just returned from weeks in the field and are in the middle of recovery. We are especially short handed from supporting battalion and brigade details. The washing machines are too few and operating 24-7 under protest. I decide to have my guys who live in a squad bay work on weapons and maintenance first while others are standing around waiting on laundry, etc. We are at the motor pool (where else?) when I heard the battalion CSM was walking thru the barracks in a few minutes. I went back to the barracks to ensure the bay room was locked (it wasn't) since only the open rooms would be looked at. As I'm locking the door, a group of CSMs demand to see the room I just locked. Of course it was trashed and of course along with the Bn CSM was the Brigade, Division, and USEUR CSM! Yeah. It was rough. But getting the gear back up to green status was more important than a clean bay room.

Response by SrA Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 30 at 2024 3:41 PM

SrA Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 30 Mar 2024 15:41:57 -0400

Once I reached my PCS, Dover AFB, 95% of the time I was there and not on TDY I worked grave shift so I never had to stand barrack inspection. Just put "Grave Shift" sign on the door and they passed by to the next room :-).

Response by SGT John Keating made Apr 5 at 2024 7:45 PM

SGT John Keating — Fri, 05 Apr 2024 19:45:52 -0400

Drafted 1966 - after basic training sent to Ft Rucker AL for AIT. We were sent into just opened WWII barracks. First thing is to clean the Barracks. We uncovered tarantulas two nests. This is where we are going to sleep????

Response by SPC Max Waller made Apr 8 at 2024 3:27 AM

SPC Max Waller — Mon, 08 Apr 2024 03:27:19 -0400

while on active duty, I had to be ready for inspector general type inspections that was the explanations from the chain of command that was inspected when I was ElseWhere mainly by the 1st Sergeant and lower ranking - basically every commissioned officers and non-commissioned officers where a complete disappointment except 2nd Lieutenant Bailey and then Michael Jaje who was enlisted Army who became a 2nd Lieutenant who became a 1st Lieutenant and then the prior Sergeant with the Marines who was the 2nd Lieutenant Mike Jarman who were my platoon leader of 2nd platoon of C "Hard Core Charlie" of 3rd Bn "Battle Force"/327th Infantry (Air Assault) at Fort Campbell, Kentucky, 42223-5000 moreover, everyone who was a Corporal and above while with [1st Sergeant Hosey and Captain Mark W. Drumm with basically every NCO and commissioned officer except Sergeant Stephen Dornbush of 1st platoon and Sergeant Michael Stephens formerly of my 3rd platoon before going to headquarters platoon were garbage human beings] 3rd platoon of Delta "Dogs Of War" of 1st Bn "Regulars By God"/6th Infantry (Mechanized) at Storck Barracks at West Germany at Post Box 81 at Army Post Office New York New York 09140-5000 were unprofessional who were self-serving that applied to the entire base that was a reason as why there were so many alcoholics including smoking unauthorized substances - 12:26 am Pacific DayLight Savings Time on Monday, 8 April 2024 on a leap year

Response by James Miller made Apr 11 at 2024 2:11 AM

James Miller — Thu, 11 Apr 2024 02:11:15 -0400

Short story, my son did not re-up in 2014 because his assignment was made so miserable in during previous year plus.. He was going career but left after 12 plus years.