Being a Military Spouse is a Lifelong Commitment

Jennifer Ranaudo — Fri, 07 May 2021 09:43:51 -0400

May 7th is Military Spouse Appreciation Day. It is a day to honor and celebrate these selfless men and women who, in my opinion, are the backbone of our military. Military spouses did not sign-up to serve our country, but serve they do. They don’t serve in the traditional sense – they aren’t driving tanks or dropping bombs or living in the desert for months on end – they stay back and take care of the home front.

During deployments and long TDYs, they are the sole caregiver and take on roles of both mother and father, in addition to being the chauffeur, handy-man, teacher, nurse, chef, travel agent, entertainment director, party planner, cheerleader, mentor, counselor, etc. Even when their spouses are not deployed, they are rarely “home.” Working nights and weekends is commonplace and on the rare occasional night out, “shop talk” always makes an appearance. It’s become “normal” for military spouses to handle EVERYTHING; the house, the bills, the kids, pets, school, PCS’s, cars that need fixing, planning holidays, birthdays, vacations, the list goes on and on.

The majority live far from family, so they do not have the luxury of calling upon their parents or siblings to lend a hand or just give them a break. So, they lean on each other. The phrase “it takes a village” never rang truer than for military spouses. They are always actively supporting their fellow military families whether through home-cooked meals, babysitting, accompanying a spouse to doctor appointments or just being a shoulder to cry on. The network of military spouses becomes a true family of its own. They may not be family by blood, but they are family nonetheless.

This military life is not for everyone, the only constant is change and it takes an extraordinary person to successfully navigate this way of life. Military spouses are resourceful – they can plan the best homecoming, holiday, kids parties with almost no budget; they are creative – they can make their old furniture/curtains work in any size house; they are resilient – last minute deployment while pregnant, no problem!; they are selfless – they sacrifice their own
career to follow their spouse all over the world in pursuit of his/her dream; and most importantly, they are compassionate – they will drop everything to help their fellow military spouses and families. They are quite simply our very own superheroes.

Through my husband’s 20-year career, I have had the privilege and honor of knowing so many extraordinary military spouses that encapsulate these qualities and so many others. I am forever grateful for the opportunity to walk this military life with them and for their support in good times and bad. To my fellow military spouses, I know you don’t seek any praise or acknowledgement for all you do – you are silent warriors - but you deserve to be honored and praised because without you, your spouse in uniform cannot do their job. You are the backbone of your families, but also of the country.

From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU! Cheers to my fellow military spouses!

Response by SFC Melvin Brandenburg made May 7 at 2021 9:48 AM

SFC Melvin Brandenburg — Fri, 07 May 2021 09:48:05 -0400

I think our families have a more difficult time of what we do than what we do. We know what we are doing and we just do out duty. But, our families have the burden of wondering what we are doing and each knock at the door might be a chaplain and an officer.

Response by Katie Ross made May 7 at 2021 9:49 AM

Katie Ross — Fri, 07 May 2021 09:49:50 -0400

Well said.

Response by SSG Carlos Madden made May 7 at 2021 9:51 AM

SSG Carlos Madden — Fri, 07 May 2021 09:51:17 -0400

I'll be honest, whenever someone says "thank you for your service" a little voice inside always wants to tell them to thank our families instead.

Response by SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth made May 7 at 2021 9:51 AM

SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth — Fri, 07 May 2021 09:51:58 -0400

My wife went through this with me when I was in the military, she was on edge all the time worrying that my battlion would be called up at any time Ms Jennifer Ranaudo

Response by Capt Brandon Charters made May 7 at 2021 10:39 AM

Capt Brandon Charters — Fri, 07 May 2021 10:39:22 -0400

"During deployments and long TDYs, they are the sole caregiver and take on roles of both mother and father, in addition to being the chauffeur, handy-man, teacher, nurse, chef, travel agent, entertainment director, party planner, cheerleader, mentor, counselor, etc."

And you could add 20 other job titles to this. A big salute to you Jennifer Ranaudo and all our mil spouses!

Response by CPT David Gowel made May 7 at 2021 11:22 AM

CPT David Gowel — Fri, 07 May 2021 11:22:59 -0400

I can't recall reading a more comprehensive description of all the critically important yet "unsung hero activities" led by our military spouses day in and day out. Thanks Jennifer Ranaudo for sharing (and living) these words!

Response by Cohen Veterans Network made May 7 at 2021 11:30 AM

Cohen Veterans Network — Fri, 07 May 2021 11:30:49 -0400

So very well put! Thank you, Jennifer, for YOUR service and sacrifice and for uplifting the amazing contributions of our military spouses

Response by TSgt George Rodriguez made May 7 at 2021 11:51 AM

TSgt George Rodriguez — Fri, 07 May 2021 11:51:55 -0400

Before I married my wife she too was in the military. I was raising 2 small children from my 1st marriage that I had custody of while still in the service. She fell in love with my children and saw the need for a mother to be present in their lives. She took an honorable discharge and married me. 48 years ago. We have 4 children 2 from my 1st marriage and 2 from us. We have 9 grown grandchildren and 7 great-grandchildren. She is my soul mate and I thank God every day for allowing me to be part of her life as she is part of mine.

Response by SSG Edward Tilton made May 7 at 2021 1:36 PM

SSG Edward Tilton — Fri, 07 May 2021 13:36:54 -0400

My wife was 19, I was 18,;we are both in our mid seventies now. I guess you could say so

Response by SrA John Monette made May 7 at 2021 2:38 PM

SrA John Monette — Fri, 07 May 2021 14:38:10 -0400

my wife was never an active duty wife, but she has been beside me for the past 18 years, not all of them easy. that includes three surgeries for service-connected injuries, countless ER visits for migraine attacks. the list is endless and i am thankful for her every day

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made May 7 at 2021 4:30 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Fri, 07 May 2021 16:30:57 -0400

Yes you are most correct. Spouses are burdened in many ways. They help us move. They take care of the families when we deploy. They are our sounding board and try to sooth us. They are the glue to the family. They often sacrifice their careers. My wife is the financial and task manager. They keep us grounded. They are our chearleaders. My wife stepped in when I got PTSD. She provided overhead cover for me.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made May 7 at 2021 4:49 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Fri, 07 May 2021 16:49:20 -0400

My wife is always angry at me. She does not like my loud music so I put on my Beat headphones which infuriates her because she can't talk to me. Then she sends me an angry text from across the house.

Response by Cpl Vic Burk made May 8 at 2021 7:36 AM

Cpl Vic Burk — Sat, 08 May 2021 07:36:23 -0400

I have great respect for women who stuck it out while their husbands were on active duty. Trying to hold the family unit together through it all. The separation, anxiety of when they were sent to Vietnam, the constant worry they may never see them alive again. Then after they got back and/or discharged, the PTSD, and the side effects. Yes, military wives had a lot of weight on their shoulders, in some ways even more that the man. I salute all the women who stood by their husbands. My girlfriend who I was planning to marry when I got out didn't stand by me. I got the "Dear John" letter that never came.

Response by CPT Aaron Kletzing made May 17 at 2021 10:23 AM

CPT Aaron Kletzing — Mon, 17 May 2021 10:23:17 -0400

So much love and respect for all the military spouses out there. Thank YOU as well for your service and commitment!

Response by SP6 Yanrique Joseph made May 25 at 2021 10:14 AM

SP6 Yanrique Joseph — Tue, 25 May 2021 10:14:05 -0400

Lord continue to hold the military family together, bless those who have served and continue to bless those who are serving..

Response by MSgt Gary Hinkelman made Jun 3 at 2021 2:12 PM

MSgt Gary Hinkelman — Thu, 03 Jun 2021 14:12:52 -0400

My wife served as my spouse with distinction and honor. Through long work hours, TDYs and deployments. It was my wife Joy, who cared for our kids and family.

When I retired, I made her a official certificate and gift... Thanking her for the unconditional support she gave me. To this day, she knows that both of us served the USAF.

Response by SSG Edward Tilton made Jun 18 at 2021 6:29 PM

SSG Edward Tilton — Fri, 18 Jun 2021 18:29:36 -0400

My wife got called a “slant eyed, hip swinging whore” by my Battalion Commander while holding our son. We lived on the economy with electricity 5 hours a day and running water only 1000 yards away. To this day, 58 years later, I am enraged when someone looks down on retirees

Response by CPL Sally Wittbrod made Jun 28 at 2021 5:07 PM

CPL Sally Wittbrod — Mon, 28 Jun 2021 17:07:53 -0400

My husband wears his Vietnam cap & people thank him for his service. I say either say 'Thank you' or 'you're welcome.' It gives them pause. As a spouse, I accept their thanks for MY service. As a veteran, well, I'm amused that so many don't think an older female can be a veteran.

Response by PO2 Russell "Russ" Lincoln made Jul 29 at 2021 2:06 PM

PO2 Russell "Russ" Lincoln — Thu, 29 Jul 2021 14:06:20 -0400

When we deploy they usually do with less money as our BHA is stopped.

Response by CPO Arthur Weinberger made Jul 29 at 2021 5:04 PM

CPO Arthur Weinberger — Thu, 29 Jul 2021 17:04:44 -0400

I am not a military spouse. However, I was grateful for my wives and others who supported their spouses. Yours truly is grateful for the article you have written. Many persons thank those of us who served in the military, lately. The armed forces are useless without the millions who support us in so many ways. Thank you Jennifer.

Response by SPC Martin Meyer made Aug 6 at 2021 4:13 AM

SPC Martin Meyer — Fri, 06 Aug 2021 04:13:33 -0400

I was at the market the other day and a soldier and his son were there. As a veteran I walked up to thank him for his service and I turned to his son and thank you. I know how hard it is for military families when their family members are deployed. I was not married in while in service but many of my brothers were. AATW!

Response by PO3 Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 11 at 2023 6:15 AM

PO3 Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 11 Mar 2023 06:15:25 -0500

It is common for military spouses to handle everything on their own, including managing the household, paying bills, caring for children and pets, overseeing schooling, managing PCS moves, fixing cars, planning holidays, birthdays, and vacations, and much more. Despite the challenges, military spouses are resilient and adapt to their constantly changing circumstances.
I also waiting for my National Sons day (https://www.thenewsinsides.com/blog/national-sons-day/). My father will from navy on that day.

Happy National Sons Day 2021 - September 28th | ThenewsInsides

If you want to Celebrate National Son Day 2022 with your sons, check out these ideas! There are tons of ways you can celebrate