Best advice for first time parents in the military?

TSgt David Holman — Tue, 05 May 2015 19:17:15 -0400

What advice do you parents out there have for someone that will be first time parents in the military? Looks like I am going to get to be a first time dad here in the new future.

Response by CPT Zachary Brooks made May 5 at 2015 7:17 PM

CPT Zachary Brooks — Tue, 05 May 2015 19:17:48 -0400

I've been trying to get similar advice here:

https://www.rallypoint.com/answers/babies-and-deployment-any-advice

I plan to monitor this thread as well.

Babies and Deployment: Any advice? | RallyPoint

So my wife and I wanted to wait until I returned from my upcoming deployment before we started having children. Sadly it would appear that is not the case and we are expecting a child around the November time period. I will be overseas until May of next year and therefore need to look into options or advice from others who have been through this before. - My wife is a nurse and works 0700 - 1900 on her work days, meaning most day cares are out...

Response by Capt Private RallyPoint Member made May 5 at 2015 8:18 PM

Capt Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 05 May 2015 20:18:25 -0400

Teach you child/children to know how to live and be a responsible citizen.

Have a lot of patience and when needed be a parent before being a friend.

Response by SGT Michael Touchet made May 5 at 2015 8:38 PM

SGT Michael Touchet — Tue, 05 May 2015 20:38:34 -0400

Capitalize on every moment that you have to spend with your children, so that when you are not there they feel your love and presence. Give them sound guidance at every turn so that when you are not there your words echo in their minds which way to go. Make their comfort and well being one of your top priorities. Lastly be their parent not always their friend, they will come to appreciate you for it.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made May 5 at 2015 11:47 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 05 May 2015 23:47:27 -0400

Congratulations. It is definitely an exciting time for you both.

I suggest looking into the parenting classes on your installation. not only can both of you learn a bunch but you may also get some starter things to assist when your new bundle arrives.

In the ARMY it is the ARMY Community Services (ACS) and Family Advocacy Program (FAP) that offer a multitude of courses for handling a new born and up. The classes are extremely helpful.

I wish you all the best.

Response by SGT Anthony Rossi made May 6 at 2015 12:39 AM

SGT Anthony Rossi — Wed, 06 May 2015 00:39:56 -0400

Have a blast with your kid. Love em like crazy! Be the fun Dad and enjoy every moment.
Yet, remember that you have to prepair you child for the future so do everything you can to train them to respect authority so they listen to whoever will watch them when you are deployed or training. Never tolerate disrespect! But when they do good Tell them how great they are!

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. -Proverbs 22:6

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made May 6 at 2015 2:56 AM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 06 May 2015 02:56:20 -0400

get this (http://www.amazon.com/Magna-Personal-Capacity-Aluminum-Folding/dp/B000HVVSDU) drill two holes in the back plates where a car seat clips can clip into. This right here has been a lifesaver for my family as we travel and PCS.

My daughter absolutely loves when I clip in her carseat to the magna cart. She gets to sit in the carseat when we go to the airport, can sleep in it, and when we get on the plane, i unclip the seat, fold up the cart and stow it in the overhead compartment. the carseat gets strapped into my daughters seat and she is comfortable.

Saved us also while we were PCSing to korea and got laid-over in seattle for 2 days. that first night we were stuck in the airport. at least my daughter got a good nights sleep in her carseat.

*edit* more stuff.
-DONT buy a bunch of newborn stuff, they will outgrow it in 6 months tops.
-set up a gift list on amazon with all the things you want need (ask for clothes for 1-3 year olds)
-DONT buy a used car seat they expire!
-Do go to the thrift shop on post for everything else (pack and play, swings etc)
-this is awesome and is a lifesaver. This particular one can switch from front to back to side to side. http://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Snugabunny-Cradle-Swing-Technology/dp/B00IVNEGLW/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid= [login to see] &sr=8-2&keywords=baby+swing
-If bottle feeding Doc Brown Bottles are great for preventing gas...

*edit* more stuff (again)
Not gonna tell you how to raise your kid, you will get more than enough of that...
-BUT, consistency is key. Even when you really want to give in when they are being cute or throwing a tantrum.. (especcially when they are throwing a tantrum, Don't Give In!)
-Schedules help us keep our sanity

Response by Capt Michael Greene made Apr 26 at 2016 11:55 AM

Capt Michael Greene — Tue, 26 Apr 2016 11:55:53 -0400

Don't have more dependents than you have stripes!

Response by Maj John Bell made May 26 at 2016 6:16 PM

Maj John Bell — Thu, 26 May 2016 18:16:37 -0400

Nobody will tell you this, so I will. You never stop loving your kids, but there are times when you do not like them at all. Don't feel guilty about it. My daughter had the colic. I loved her but you couldn't have stopped me from deploying with my battalion for a Million bucks. Then just to prove what a little monster she could be, she turned into the perfect happy baby a week before my unit went to Okinawa. I know she did it on purpose and I know it was to make me miserable for the next six months. Yes they are that scheming and evil even at 4 months old.

Response by PO3 Donald Murphy made Mar 31 at 2017 3:24 PM

PO3 Donald Murphy — Fri, 31 Mar 2017 15:24:15 -0400

We knew that I did not want to be at sea while my wife was pregnant, so we decided not to have kids while I was on sea duty. So we waited until I got off of that. This way, I was able to devote all the time I wanted as a new father to making sure things were in place, etc.

Response by CPL Lynda Wade made Aug 22 at 2019 6:07 AM

CPL Lynda Wade — Thu, 22 Aug 2019 06:07:15 -0400

My Husband and I were duel active duty Army soldiers with 2 children. Find an excellent baby/kidsitter, who can be there for u 2. When your children r in school, tell the Teacher that your spouse and u r duel military. When my daughter was born, I did not know what to do as a single parent. Luckly my babysitter government quarters was at the halfway point between where my army company and where she and I lived. One morning after I had walked to my daughter's babysitter and dropped my daughter off. After I walked to my company and walked in the supply room where I worked my wonderful E-6 who was a wonderful father/dad, noticed my daughter had spit up on my uniform. He told how to avoid the situation in the future and let me walk back to my apartment and change.
Participate in company family events. Ask questions of other parents who have already walked where u r walking now. So not be afraid to ask questions.