Can a PVT bother the NCO at any time he wants for any purpose?

2019-02-18T03:38:02-05:00

I understand that as an NCO you are supposed to take care of soldiers. If he gets drunk and needs a ride, or if he needs to go to a military appointment but doesn't have a ride, or he gets in trouble off post, I need to show up and offer help. However, can a PVT bother you at any time of the weekend and ask for a ride for his recreational purpose, such as being dropped at the bar, being picked up from a certain point off post, and any other things that he can definitely figure out himself? My soldiers are currently trying to use me as their Uber drivers. Any time they need to go somewhere, they would call me regardless of the time. I don't think they give any respect and courtesy to an NCO. I can see they already cross the borderline.
Just wonder if I can find any regulation regarding this? What is the best way to let him know how to behave and show respect and discipline? Thanks so much for your help

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 18 at 2019 4:19 AM

2019-02-18T04:19:21-05:00

They can bother you, and you can bother them right back. You certainly aren't a taxi and I'm shocked you are in this predicament, because it usually means that you have been too friendly with your squad. When you establish yourself as a friend instead of as a leader it dissolves the barrier of professionalism that should exist between you and them. If I had asked my NCOs for a ride to the bar, I would have been doing burpees the whole way while they drove behind me.
The problem isn't that they lack respect, the issue is that you have failed to establish, enforce and maintain clear and consistent boundaries.
How do you do that?
Start by saying no.
Tell them you are not a taxi and if they want a ride they can request one the day prior, which you may or may not grant depending on whether or not you choose to. When they fail to do that, and some will, let them figure their own ride back. Then counsel them the next day on the importance of planning ahead and creating PACE plans. If it continues, require them to brief their pace plan to you any time they leave. Yes, you can be that intrusive as their NCO. Sometimes your job is to be up in people's business when they've shown they can't handle it themselves.
After a little bit of this they will stop relying on you and start making their own decisions.

Response by CW3 Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 18 at 2019 8:10 AM

2019-02-18T08:10:53-05:00

Seems like this is less of a "respect and discipline" issue and more one of simple courtesy.
Remind them at the next formation that the you are available to the soldiers under your charge for emergencies...not mere convenience.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 18 at 2019 10:07 AM

2019-02-18T10:07:12-05:00

It's called general military authority. Also, simple respect and courtesy. Sit them down (or have them at Parade Rest) and sternly explain to them that for official purposes...or to get them out of the sling, you will lend a ride. But for recreational purposes, they can find their own damn ride.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 18 at 2019 9:29 PM

2019-02-18T21:29:28-05:00

Thank you so much for all the answers and solutions. I'll definitely pay attention to how to train the soldiers and square them away.

Response by GySgt Kenneth Pepper made Feb 19 at 2019 3:02 PM

2019-02-19T15:02:44-05:00

I just have to ask....did you expect your SGT to chauffer you around when you were a PVT? I expect not. You need to establish some boundaries immediately. If they go out to the bar they better have cab fare to get back. If you have to go pick them up because of piss poor planning they need to feel the pain the next morning.
Ask yourself this question; "Will these troops follow my orders without hesitation when I need them to?" If the answer is anything other than "hell yeah", you need to reflect on the nature of your relationship.

Response by SSG Paul Ellis made Feb 19 at 2019 7:46 PM

2019-02-19T19:46:22-05:00

Your duty to your soldiers is to come to their aid when they are in trouble or in over their heads. It's also to make sure they have the correct attitude adjustment. You've slacked off on correcting their attitudes. If they can't figure out a way to get from point A to point B on their free time, then they don't need any free time. Keep them busy. Give them time to pay bills, make necessary purchases and attend worship services, but eliminate any other free time. You'll be surprised how quickly they'll find a friend with a car or figure out the post bus system.

You've made a mistake in letting your soldiers get to the point where they feel they can use your good will for a ride. While ensuring they're aware that you'll be there for them if they're in trouble, you need to tell them in no uncertain terms where the limits are. Have them determine (and then present to you) multiple methods of getting around post and the surrounding area.

Pro tip: If any of your (especial younger) soldiers decide to purchase a POV, ensure you go with them IOT prevent them getting bent over by an unscrupulous car salesman. I've seen too many soldiers (especially after a deployment) buy some flashy car from a local dealership without any help and 3-4 months later, have seen the repo man cruising through the company parking lot.