Posted on Feb 18, 2019
Can a PVT bother the NCO at any time he wants for any purpose?
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I understand that as an NCO you are supposed to take care of soldiers. If he gets drunk and needs a ride, or if he needs to go to a military appointment but doesn't have a ride, or he gets in trouble off post, I need to show up and offer help. However, can a PVT bother you at any time of the weekend and ask for a ride for his recreational purpose, such as being dropped at the bar, being picked up from a certain point off post, and any other things that he can definitely figure out himself? My soldiers are currently trying to use me as their Uber drivers. Any time they need to go somewhere, they would call me regardless of the time. I don't think they give any respect and courtesy to an NCO. I can see they already cross the borderline.
Just wonder if I can find any regulation regarding this? What is the best way to let him know how to behave and show respect and discipline? Thanks so much for your help
Just wonder if I can find any regulation regarding this? What is the best way to let him know how to behave and show respect and discipline? Thanks so much for your help
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Squad
Squad
Posted 5 y ago
Responses: 6
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They can bother you, and you can bother them right back. You certainly aren't a taxi and I'm shocked you are in this predicament, because it usually means that you have been too friendly with your squad. When you establish yourself as a friend instead of as a leader it dissolves the barrier of professionalism that should exist between you and them. If I had asked my NCOs for a ride to the bar, I would have been doing burpees the whole way while they drove behind me.
The problem isn't that they lack respect, the issue is that you have failed to establish, enforce and maintain clear and consistent boundaries.
How do you do that?
Start by saying no.
Tell them you are not a taxi and if they want a ride they can request one the day prior, which you may or may not grant depending on whether or not you choose to. When they fail to do that, and some will, let them figure their own ride back. Then counsel them the next day on the importance of planning ahead and creating PACE plans. If it continues, require them to brief their pace plan to you any time they leave. Yes, you can be that intrusive as their NCO. Sometimes your job is to be up in people's business when they've shown they can't handle it themselves.
After a little bit of this they will stop relying on you and start making their own decisions.
The problem isn't that they lack respect, the issue is that you have failed to establish, enforce and maintain clear and consistent boundaries.
How do you do that?
Start by saying no.
Tell them you are not a taxi and if they want a ride they can request one the day prior, which you may or may not grant depending on whether or not you choose to. When they fail to do that, and some will, let them figure their own ride back. Then counsel them the next day on the importance of planning ahead and creating PACE plans. If it continues, require them to brief their pace plan to you any time they leave. Yes, you can be that intrusive as their NCO. Sometimes your job is to be up in people's business when they've shown they can't handle it themselves.
After a little bit of this they will stop relying on you and start making their own decisions.
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SPC Jerry Jones
I totally agree with SFC Jason Boyd. You totally spoiled them. Be in charge, don't let them order you around. You can still be their "friend" without letting them take advantage of you. Learn to say "no" on a regular basis. When you force them to think on their own and figure out how to do things for themselves, then they will become more independent and stronger. Don't baby them. You are not their parent.
A good leader will be able to have a strong relationship with their troops without compromising their rank and respect.
A good leader will be able to have a strong relationship with their troops without compromising their rank and respect.
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SGM Bill Frazer
You have done something wrong in their training. MY troops were encouraged to get help, but they always knew there was a price to pay, for bugging their NCO's. You are not a damn Taxi, if they can afford to drink, they can call UBER! If they call drunk, you can pick them up, make sure they have no money- then you put them in remedial training on the weekends till the learn responsibility. Simple.
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LTC Jason Mackay
You can solve this with some simply worded DA 4856s and some really creative and hateful corrective training that impacts their cool factor, personal time, and their fun. Maybe a month of weekend CQ/Duty driver to go pick up drunks on Friday and Saturday night. Especially a pay day weekend. If they can't seem to drink responsibly, you can have them referred to the command for ASAP. They'll get to dry out for a period of Time. If they fail ASAP, they'll be chaptered. Pretty easy to fix.
Agree with the above comments. Stop the train. Lay down the law. NCOs I have served with had a one time no questions asked rule. First time you call at 2 or 3 am, I'll come get you. The second time, I'll come get you, but you won't like it. We will have some early morning PT and a discussion about being a responsible adult. If they can't handle big boy rules, they can be managed as children. Here to help does not mean indentured servant.
Agree with the above comments. Stop the train. Lay down the law. NCOs I have served with had a one time no questions asked rule. First time you call at 2 or 3 am, I'll come get you. The second time, I'll come get you, but you won't like it. We will have some early morning PT and a discussion about being a responsible adult. If they can't handle big boy rules, they can be managed as children. Here to help does not mean indentured servant.
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Seems like this is less of a "respect and discipline" issue and more one of simple courtesy.
Remind them at the next formation that the you are available to the soldiers under your charge for emergencies...not mere convenience.
Remind them at the next formation that the you are available to the soldiers under your charge for emergencies...not mere convenience.
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Your duty to your soldiers is to come to their aid when they are in trouble or in over their heads. It's also to make sure they have the correct attitude adjustment. You've slacked off on correcting their attitudes. If they can't figure out a way to get from point A to point B on their free time, then they don't need any free time. Keep them busy. Give them time to pay bills, make necessary purchases and attend worship services, but eliminate any other free time. You'll be surprised how quickly they'll find a friend with a car or figure out the post bus system.
You've made a mistake in letting your soldiers get to the point where they feel they can use your good will for a ride. While ensuring they're aware that you'll be there for them if they're in trouble, you need to tell them in no uncertain terms where the limits are. Have them determine (and then present to you) multiple methods of getting around post and the surrounding area.
Pro tip: If any of your (especial younger) soldiers decide to purchase a POV, ensure you go with them IOT prevent them getting bent over by an unscrupulous car salesman. I've seen too many soldiers (especially after a deployment) buy some flashy car from a local dealership without any help and 3-4 months later, have seen the repo man cruising through the company parking lot.
You've made a mistake in letting your soldiers get to the point where they feel they can use your good will for a ride. While ensuring they're aware that you'll be there for them if they're in trouble, you need to tell them in no uncertain terms where the limits are. Have them determine (and then present to you) multiple methods of getting around post and the surrounding area.
Pro tip: If any of your (especial younger) soldiers decide to purchase a POV, ensure you go with them IOT prevent them getting bent over by an unscrupulous car salesman. I've seen too many soldiers (especially after a deployment) buy some flashy car from a local dealership without any help and 3-4 months later, have seen the repo man cruising through the company parking lot.
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