Can an AIT Soldier get married (to a civilian) while on HBL? If so, is this a smart or moronic decision?

PFC Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 11 Dec 2019 20:42:51 -0500

A little backstory: We've been in a very productive, happy relationship for 3 years. We lived together for 6 months prior to me shipping to Basic on 17 Sep. Our relationship stayed strong through BCT and now my 2nd week of AIT. We have never had any serious issues, and want nothing more than to be together after I graduate AIT.
There are a lot of service members in her family, so she knows what she's getting in to.
I won't be classed until late January, and I should receive my PCS orders several weeks after that. I believe it will be easier to get our marriage processed before my orders are made, rather than try to get my orders amended after they're made.
Is that accurate, and if so, a wise decision?
Additionally, since I'm in IET status, am I even authorized to get married? Or do I need approval from my CoC? I am unable to find any information about AIT marriages except for marriages between AIT Soldiers.
Any and all input is appreciated. Thank you for your time.

Response by SPC Stewart Smith made Dec 11 at 2019 9:03 PM

SPC Stewart Smith — Wed, 11 Dec 2019 21:03:47 -0500

You won't know until you know.
From what I've seen, lower enlisted members get married rather quickly, then get divorced and talk a lot of shit about other soldiers who make the "stupid decision" of getting married.
Hope you're not rushing into things to live off post or get extra money. You will have a lot more money as a single soldier.
I'd recommend getting a little time and age under your belt first.

Response by SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 11 at 2019 9:40 PM

SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 11 Dec 2019 21:40:25 -0500

if you get married first it will take longer to pcs to your next duty station. This is due to having to get your spouse getting command sponsored. but if sure it's true love than go for it.

Response by 1SG Dennis Hicks made Dec 11 at 2019 9:52 PM

1SG Dennis Hicks — Wed, 11 Dec 2019 21:52:13 -0500

Based upon many years in uniform and seeing these situations play out the best advice I can give is to wait until you are at your duty station then re-evaluate what you need to do. I have seen literally dozens of you Soldier attempt to rush marriage and I can safely say that many didn't make it very far and some of the Soldiers ended up being put out due to complications from the divorce/bad attitudes. Trying to add additional stress on an already stressful life choice is not a good thing. If you two really love each other and are meant to be together a little wait won't hurt.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 11 at 2019 10:49 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 11 Dec 2019 22:49:06 -0500

You could get married, but not the smartest choice. If you've already been together 3 years another 6 months won't hurt. Wait until you get to your first duty station and are settled in.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 11 at 2019 11:45 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 11 Dec 2019 23:45:26 -0500

No one in the Army can tell you that you can, or cannot, get married. However, it's a much smarter idea to wait a while. There is too much going on with your first PCS to bring all that extra stress onto your spouse at such an early stage of marriage. Wait till you get to your unit, plan ahead, and get married over your block leave.

Response by SSG Randy Willingham made Dec 12 at 2019 1:54 AM

SSG Randy Willingham — Thu, 12 Dec 2019 01:54:56 -0500

If the Army had wanted you to have a wife they would have issued you one .

Response by MSgt Michael Smith made Dec 12 at 2019 11:32 AM

MSgt Michael Smith — Thu, 12 Dec 2019 11:32:27 -0500

You can marry whoever you want whenever you want. You need zero approval from anyone. Do as you like and let the Army figure out how to respond.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 12 at 2019 12:46 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 12 Dec 2019 12:46:33 -0500

Private Yeakel, as most commenters have already said wait until you are settled in to your new life in the army. After that, wait some more. Marriage isn't something you or anyone should rush into. Good luck with your new career and, if you decide to take that long march towards death with your girlfriend I wish you luck and happiness there too.

Response by WO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 12 at 2019 2:32 PM

WO1 Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 12 Dec 2019 14:32:10 -0500

You know, funny story. When I was in AIT (technically graduated, but a hold over for a couple of months and still a private none the less) we took Christmas leave and while on leave I got married. Was in the same boat as you, we have been together and knew each other prior.

Anyways, only thing that came of it was when I got back I told my PSG and they helped me get her added into DEERS and get pay processed. No backlash or anything (which they cant really say anything.) That was about 8 years ago now and going good.

Now with what everyone else has said, maybe you could/should wait some more time. However the choice is yours and if you want to then go for it. Probably have to wait to "phase up" to go out in town, or with it being the holiday season, take leave and do it back home?

Good luck either way though!

Response by MSG Danny Mathers made Dec 12 at 2019 7:02 PM

MSG Danny Mathers — Thu, 12 Dec 2019 19:02:52 -0500

Wait until you get through AIT and assigned to your first. Then consult for chain of command. The main thing is money and money or lack of it will break a marriage. Just wait until you make Specialist. You can make it of E-4 pay but it will be hard. Marriage to another Soldier is a challenge, One may get assigned here and the other there. My experience is that few ever stayed married. All the responses I have read on the forum is good advise. Simply put, wait.

Response by PV2 Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 9 at 2022 10:38 PM

PV2 Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 09 Dec 2022 22:38:15 -0500

I have the exact same situation right now, been together 4.5 years what did you do, and if you did get married over hbl howd it go. My would be spouse also is in need of some healthcare and financial support. Does this outweigh the stress id take on in the meantime.