Can Enlisted refer to Officers by their first name when off duty?

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 02 Feb 2020 11:25:04 -0500

When in the course of being in the Reserves and the Jr being the Sr in the course of their civilian occupation, can this be truly acceptable

Response by Capt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 2 at 2020 11:59 AM

Capt Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 02 Feb 2020 11:59:01 -0500

I think it comes down to personal judgement. If the two of you are ok with it, then let it be. Of course other conversations will most likely take place and you two will be able to draw out the lines of what is considered appropriate at each position: military vs. civilian. I don't think anyone would question you as long as it's made well aware ahead of time.

Response by COL Vincent Stoneking made Feb 2 at 2020 12:02 PM

COL Vincent Stoneking — Sun, 02 Feb 2020 12:02:24 -0500

It's a bit different in the land of Guard and Reserves, Without getting into the legalities (because I'm not a lawyer and I don't want to spend 20 hours drafting a reply), when not in a duty status, we are essentially civilians. As such, absent the military context, yes it would be totally appropriate to refer to me as Vince if I worked for you, if we bumped into each other at (Civilian, non drill-weekend) church, or at the grocery store, etc.

Response by MSG Danny Mathers made Feb 2 at 2020 12:17 PM

MSG Danny Mathers — Sun, 02 Feb 2020 12:17:47 -0500

Personally, I never crossed that line even after I retired. It make a military friendship compromised.

Response by Sgt Eddie Keator made Feb 2 at 2020 3:32 PM

Sgt Eddie Keator — Sun, 02 Feb 2020 15:32:29 -0500

While on active duty, off duty and not in uniform, the many officers that I was friends with were on first name basis. These were dads of the scouts of my troops, from church, and study groups. In uniform, I would salute and then shake their hands.

Response by SSG Dale London made Feb 3 at 2020 9:39 AM

SSG Dale London — Mon, 03 Feb 2020 09:39:53 -0500

Guard and Reserve units are a bit different in this regard but on active duty this degradation of bearing, respect and decorum is an extremely bad sign. I've been out now for 23 years so I can't speak to the present state of the army but there are loads of reasons why this is not good in an active unit -- far too many for me to list here. Suffice to say that back in the day I would not have been comfortable deploying in a unit where this was considered okay.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 3 at 2020 10:19 AM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 03 Feb 2020 10:19:21 -0500

I still address retired CSMs and the like by their rank or with Sir/Ma'am. Even if they told me to address them by their first name....I have difficulty. Even when in a operational environment where we have to use our first names....I still find it difficult.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 3 at 2020 3:13 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 03 Feb 2020 15:13:40 -0500

I mean there are active duty who call each other by first name off duty. Hell I have been called by my first name by officers at work - but the majority were Air Force and they apparently call each other by first names. The last officer who did surprisingly was my last OIC...called me and the other two SFCs by our first name. It's weird after all this time...

No one cares what Reserve and Guard call each other when not at drill or on active status. I outrank my brother - he's Guard. I'm active. Both enlisted. The only time we were in uniform together was when we were deployed and I visited him and he came to see me to pin my stripes. After I got pinned I told him to drop...yeah he told me to f*off.

Now I'm a SFC he's a SGT. I was in uniform at his BLC graduation (I was stationed close to home on a compassionate and had to go straight from work) and I didn't expect him to call me Sergeant.

If I was in Reserve or Guard and worked with someone in my unit in a civilian job I would definitely not be a dick about rank when we aren't at drill or active.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 6 at 2020 12:21 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 06 Feb 2020 00:21:45 -0500

This question seems to be a case by case basis. If you know the officer from work it will never be wrong to call them Ma'am or Sir when they are off duty, these are respectful ways of greeting someone no matter who they are. Like you, they are a Soldier 24/7, whether they are on or off duty. Unless the enlisted and officer have some sort of platonic friendship outside of work where using first names is consistent habit, (this might hold true for ARNG) it's best to stick to formal salutations. If ever in doubt.. I suggest using Ma'am/Sir.