Can you use a negative experience (like abuse) or a problem like TBI or PTSD to grow and become stronger?

SFC Ralph E Kelley - I dont agree it's that simple. "Let things happen" I am not claiming to anything AKA "owning" So there in itself lies the whole issue. And I dont know about strength or grow. I know for sure it changes you and you cant go back and lets not talk about moving forward. Everything in this statement just tugs me the wrong way. And I will leave it at that.

PFC Flor Gomez - Don't mean any disrespect with my comments...just conversation among veterans. I am sorry you feel that way and I hope you can find a way to move forward and not live in the past. You are correct...it isn't that simple...it is something you have to consciously work on.

What I mean by let things happen is that bad things will happen and how you react to them is up to you. You can either take control of them by "owning" or recognizing the situation, learn from it and how to live with it, and making some good out of it or you can let it own you and live woe is me life and let it eat away at you for the rest of your life...which can make you physically ill. I had numerous things (too many to list here) that have happened to me in my life to include actions on deployments...I could have either relived those scenarios or learn from them and help others which helps me get better and move forward. Doesn't mean they have gone away...they haven't...they come around every once and a while with certain triggers that Ihave been able to recognize but by taking control I am able to deal with it...and if I am in control of it versus it controlling me I won't let it drag me down. You also have to find someone that can help you thorugh the situations. For me it is my wife...I am and always have been very open to her about what happened in my life and she understands and know my triggers and we recognize it and work through it together.

Maj Marty Hogan
Lt Col Charlie Brown
1stSgt Glenn Brackin
Cpl Craig Marton
SGM Erik Marquez
MAJ James Woods
SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth
COL Mikel J. Burroughs
SFC Joe S. Davis Jr., MSM, DSL
SSG James J. Palmer IV aka "JP4"
LTC Stephen C.
CPL Dave Hoover
SFC Shirley Whitfield
SMSgt Minister Gerald A. "Doc" Thomas
SFC (Join to see)
Lt Col John (Jack) Christensen

PFC Flor Gomez I certainly would not choose to have gone through what I did if there was a way to undo it. Not having that option I choose to move forward as best I can using the experience to help other people. That is my choice given the situation I find myself in. Obviously this doesn't apply to everyone

Lt Col Scott Shuttleworth - You are correct. By owning it, working through it especially with your spouse and recognizing the triggers so that you aren't caught off guard and can handle it, you grow stronger. The next time something happens you can handle it better. You help others by helping them through it. It does take time.

Several years back I dealt with severe depression with issues that I didn't realize I had left over from as far back as Vietnam. With the help of my wife, the VA, an excellent book on depression and my faith in God, I no longer am bothered with depression. The VA taught me how to recognize the start of the downward spiral and how to avoid it. Whenever I can I spread the word about it and am willing to share with and help others with it. which in the long run also helps me. We had a pastor who's son became a paraplegic in an accident. At the hospital they were helping others deal with similiar and they found that it also helped them.

Good point. You have to acknowledge an issue to be able to deal with it.

A1C Doug Towsley - I do not disagree. We should not have to diagnose ourselves for physical or other issues. The medical community is not doing well at this, imho. Acknowledging the problem means getting treated, not just running around wailing about the pain. I've seen that too.

Very few people know of my combat experience. I once tried to sit in with a group at the VA. All they wanted talk about was cash bennies. I walked out and never went back. My experiences are mine even though I avoid places that may make me jumpy. I have learned to acclimate myself to any environment I am in and some people may think I am a creature of habit by where I position myself. Everyone's experience is not the same. Tabula rasa has a lot to do with how you interact with others and their attitudes.

MSG Loren Tomblin I appreciate your response brother.

Thank you for being an inspiration

I hope your life is consists of sunshine and smooth sailing.

MAJ Ken Landgren - nope, but challenges and goals to over come those challenges. makes for living

SGT Jim Arnold That’s the warrior spirit!