Career service members, how do you balance work, family, education, and recreation?

MSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 28 Jul 2017 08:16:18 -0400

I am advancing through my career more quickly than anticipated and am beginning to feel overwhelmed by my responsibilities and desire for self-improvement. What are some ways you old, crusty Sergeants and Petty Officers managed your life without degrading relationships or mission accomplishment?

Response by CPO Glenn Moss made Jul 28 at 2017 9:25 AM

CPO Glenn Moss — Fri, 28 Jul 2017 09:25:39 -0400

A strong family is key, regardless of whether a person is in the military or not. If your spouse is a strong person, able to take care of themselves and their family when necessary, and has honor and integrity, then the family issue becomes much less of an issue.

When you're home, your home. Not at work. When you're at work, you're at work.

Education? That's simply a matter of hard work dedication, and planning. Do it. Or do not do it. The choice is yours.

Recreation? Work hard, play hard. Most issues with respect to recreation probably lie with time management and budget. Keep your budget under control and you'll find you have more fiscal opportunities. Keeping home time to yourself will also find more opportunities.

Being in the military is hard work. Not everybody is cut out for it, and there is no shame in that. Sometimes being in the military just doesn't work for one's family, education, and recreation. If one falls under this category, do the best you can while you're in, complete your obligations, then move on.

A Chief once told me, many years ago when I was a junior Sailor: "The Navy won't end a marriage. The Navy is an accelerator...if your marriage is weak and failing, it'll just fail faster while you're in the Navy. Getting out only means the weak and failing marriage might last a bit longer before it fails."

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 29 at 2017 4:27 AM

MSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 29 Jul 2017 04:27:12 -0400

First, if the work you are doing will impact the Airmen then it is important and should come first. Your job is to lead by example and that sometimes mean you need to gut out the tough spots. We have all felt the lag points in our careers and it is tough. The real reward is when you see those Airmen being recognized for outstanding performance. Don't micromanage, let someone else take on responsibilities their rank affords them and never be afraid to stand in their corner when they fail. The balance is in your ability to let others take on greater responsibility to grow while you lead them forward in their careers. Remember, the AF will take everything you have if you let it and you need to take the time to recharge your batteries and take care of your family too. Find my in the global if you need anything else.

Response by LTC Jason Mackay made Jul 29 at 2017 4:59 PM

LTC Jason Mackay — Sat, 29 Jul 2017 16:59:22 -0400

I wish I did this well, but I didn't and it almost cost me. Something I did do via the pre BN/BDE Command Course was to figure out what were family things I could not miss, and put them in my work calendar. If it was a play, recital, game etc, I scheduled it like a briefing or an event. I also would bring my calendar from work home and let my wife know which events I had that impacted our family. Some people set one day a week that would be non-negotiable for family dinner, or date night. The CSA came with his wife and coached us on family time. He advocated 4 day weekends. If a 4 star could be out 4 days, so could I.

Delegation. What can be delegated? What must I do vs be present or lend direction/guidance to? Am I there to decide something? See it through? Look hard at delegation.

Response by MSgt Mark Bucher made Jul 30 at 2017 8:58 AM

MSgt Mark Bucher — Sun, 30 Jul 2017 08:58:07 -0400

I never worried about making rank. It happened as it was supposed to happen. My priorities were always about doing the job, the mission accomplishment, my family, then taking care of myself. I went to my PME schools when I was caught by the Wing SEA.

Response by MSgt James Slawson made Jul 31 at 2017 6:32 PM

MSgt James Slawson — Mon, 31 Jul 2017 18:32:41 -0400

As you advance the responsibilities come with it, that's why you get paid more. Mission first and take care of your people. If you cannot handle it you need to step back and think about your priorities. You have heard the saying "there's an E9 then there's a Chief" E9 is all about them self a Chief is about the people. Do not become a pay grade.

Response by CMSgt Jay Pine made Aug 3 at 2017 8:27 PM

CMSgt Jay Pine — Thu, 03 Aug 2017 20:27:34 -0400

Responsibilities associated with your rank, you have no control over. Your desire for self-improvement (while I'm all for it), you have control over. As a leader, you have to engage the thoughts of those under you. You have to make them understand how important they are to the mission and how much you appreciate their hard work. However, like any job, they have to understand that there's a standard they have to meet...if they don't, you cannot be afraid to hold them accountable. As for "relationships", I'm assuming you mean "friendships". So, they also need to understand that both of you have jobs to do, therefore, from 0700-1600, we're professionals and after that, I'd be happy to have a beer and BS with you.....no "shop talk" though.

Response by SFC Michael Hasbun made Aug 4 at 2017 12:11 AM

SFC Michael Hasbun — Fri, 04 Aug 2017 00:11:42 -0400

I'm on marriage #3, so the most honest answer would be "poorly" I suppose...

Response by MSgt Edward Hayes made Aug 4 at 2017 6:47 PM

MSgt Edward Hayes — Fri, 04 Aug 2017 18:47:49 -0400

Personal determination, suppprt from peers and the grace of God!

Response by SMSgt Robert Anderson made Aug 5 at 2017 4:41 AM

SMSgt Robert Anderson — Sat, 05 Aug 2017 04:41:40 -0400

I would advocate that you spend time mentoring those that are under your supervision. That will give you a sense of accomplishment as well as being able to watch that kid immulate further down the line what you instilled in him/her. It's not instant satisfaction but if you stay with it you're will get satisfaction down the road when the kid comes to you and thanks you for the confidence that you instilled in him.

Response by MSgt Lester Oakman made Nov 9 at 2017 2:19 PM

MSgt Lester Oakman — Thu, 09 Nov 2017 14:19:28 -0500

It's a time management problem. 1st you must have an understanding wife who will run the house and raise the children while you work toward your promotions. You must make time for her on a regular basis. Spend quality time with your children. Enjoy an outside activity where you can unwind. I played golf and bowling. My wife joined a women's bowling league and we bowled together on a mixed league.

Response by SMSgt William Gardner made Nov 18 at 2018 10:27 AM

SMSgt William Gardner — Sun, 18 Nov 2018 10:27:46 -0500

First of all, good on you for doing so good! I would think that you deserve to be where you're at in your career.
You may have made the rank you are and should be respected in that rank. That means you have to live up to the responsibilities of that rank.
If you haven't already, you should read up the responsibilities of your rank, and lean on your peers.
I would share my knowledge and experiences with everyone, especially those who seeked interest.
People are looking at you for leadership and expertise. Good luck!