Dealing with a miserable soldier

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 17 Nov 2014 15:47:18 -0500

Any tips for dealing with a soldier that does not want to play any more. But can not get out. I have a soldier that is not happy with joining the army, but the Army does not want to let him go that easy. So he has been assigned to my team. How have you helped soldiers like this to see that the Army is not such a bad place?

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 17 at 2014 3:49 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 17 Nov 2014 15:49:45 -0500

I've been in that boat myself......I've found that getting to know them, and their interests/hobbies proves beneficial. That way, you can relate the Army to what they know, and like. This approach has always worked for me. Good luck!

Response by SGT Richard H. made Nov 17 at 2014 3:54 PM

SGT Richard H. — Mon, 17 Nov 2014 15:54:25 -0500

How new is he? I ask because I have a nephew that went this way when he first joined...to the point that he was looking into a Psych discharge. He sat down with me one day after this had gone on for a while and asked me how I would feel about him if that happened. I replied that he is family and would love him no matter what...then went on to say that I felt like before he went any further he should do some soul searching and decide how he would feel about HIMSELF down the road if he decided to basically quit. He ended up making a transformation and made SGT with SSG being dangled in front of him if he would re-enlist. He didn't, but at least he didn't quit. You might try that approach, or suggest he have that discussion with a prior service family member.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 17 at 2014 3:58 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 17 Nov 2014 15:58:44 -0500

I need to get him to come around and talk with us. We can not help him if he does not communicate with us and keeps going AWOL. I don't want to see a young kid end up making choices that will haunt him for the rest of his live.

Response by SGT Kristin Wiley made Nov 17 at 2014 4:17 PM

SGT Kristin Wiley — Mon, 17 Nov 2014 16:17:38 -0500

Sounds like me! Except the situations are probably entirely different. What is the reasoning behind him not wanting to be in the Army anymore? His reasons may be justified, so you'll need to get him to understand that until his ETS date he is stuck and should for his own benefit put in some effort. If his reasonings seem to not have a basis, it is likely he is unhappy in his off-time. Finding him events around post to participate in or even spending some off-duty time with him might help.

Response by CSM Darieus ZaGara made Aug 31 at 2020 5:56 AM

CSM Darieus ZaGara — Mon, 31 Aug 2020 05:56:08 -0400

Coach, Teach and Mentor. It requires that you invest time and resources. You have to look beyond yourself and the immediate COC. Seek out a Chaplain, Garrison Counselors and follow the tenants of the NCO Creed. If all of this fails, then you should have a chronology of his poor behavior and resistance to support through the previously mentioned process, and you will then have to Chapter him. Part of the Creed is to keep your Soldiers informed. Part of your initial counseling should include where he is heading and what the ramaficatio s are for a Chapter related to poor performance. Couple that with the value of a three year tour in the military and benefits gained should he improve.

Just my thoughts.

Response by CWO3 Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 31 at 2020 11:28 AM

CWO3 Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 31 Aug 2020 11:28:52 -0400

Keep him busy, well led, and motivated. Unless he has defect, he's fit to serve, once he gets his mind right. Invest some personal time to find out if he has family or other issues under the surface. Maybe nobody has shown any interest. It could bring about change. Encourage peer involvement, teamwork, and motivation by example. A light may come on with him. If not you're still tasked with leading him. Paper leads to discharge. On the Army's terms and not his. His choice.

Response by SFC Ralph E Kelley made Aug 31 at 2020 11:34 AM

SFC Ralph E Kelley — Mon, 31 Aug 2020 11:34:20 -0400

Drugs? Some are good at hiding it.
Alcohol? Same thing.
Love interest? There are more fish.
Religion? Sometimes it the wrong church.
Harassment? Your job to check it out?
Poor Performance? Again your job - or is his immediate supervisor screwing up?
Attitude? Sometimes the direct approach works best - he may think he's doing fine because all his fruit favored counselings say so.
Simply late coming into work (if off post with family)? Bad car?
Too much debt? Budget classes might help.
In short I know nothing of this soldier because you have presented limited information. Without knowing him I can't do any recommendations that target the issue.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 31 at 2020 1:12 PM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 31 Aug 2020 13:12:58 -0400

"The flogging shall commence until morale improves!" ;-)

Response by CWO3 Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 31 at 2020 2:44 PM

CWO3 Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 31 Aug 2020 14:44:33 -0400

Take him to visit the brig. He might realize that's not the way out. Scared straight.