Did anyone else feel lost when they transitioned from the military?

SGT Charles Bunch — Fri, 30 Oct 2015 23:46:40 -0400

Response by CAPT Kevin B. made Oct 30 at 2015 11:50 PM

CAPT Kevin B. — Fri, 30 Oct 2015 23:50:51 -0400

Since I got hired by NAVFAC which the CEC officers run, I felt like I was doing another job, just not wearing the uniform every day.

Response by CAPT Kevin B. made Oct 30 at 2015 11:55 PM

CAPT Kevin B. — Fri, 30 Oct 2015 23:55:54 -0400

Much of the housing on base has been "privatized". That means the asset is turned over to a contractor who rents, maintains, and presumable tosses some of the rental money back to the service. Lot of it depends on the condition of the housing that's taken over. There's a Pecking Order for who gets housing. Military is always first, so if there is a surplus, then you go down the list. Best thing is to check with the housing office (likely run by the contractor) and see where you may fit in. There are also provisions that deal with what happens if there is a surge in military, etc. So take it all in.

Response by LCpl Steven Fiore made Oct 31 at 2015 12:51 AM

LCpl Steven Fiore — Sat, 31 Oct 2015 00:51:53 -0400

I delayed the transition a bit. I moved in with another Marine who was getting out. We didn't adapt well, but having a buddy helped. It took us a few months to actually start to assimilate back in. It did feel foreign. Need to adapt, or die.

Response by PVT Robert Gresham made Oct 31 at 2015 2:36 AM

PVT Robert Gresham — Sat, 31 Oct 2015 02:36:53 -0400

SGT Charles Bunch I believe that almost everyone does, in one way, or the other. There is nothing wrong, and for that matter nothing new, about feeling some apprehension when leaving a familiar job, and way of life, uprooting, and basically changing everything that you have become accustomed to on a daily basis.

People no longer automatically drop into a matching step when walking beside each other. You can get up and not worry about someone telling you how you are supposed to get up, how you are supposed to make your bed, how you are supposed to dress, and so forth. But at the same time there is a familiarity with all those things, that you may miss sometimes. You may even (and probably will) incorporate some of your Military habits into your civilian life.

You also have to find your own housing, your own job, your own doctor, and your own friends. So things WILL be kind of "upside down" for a while. But, just like joining the Military, you will get your footing and you will find your way. After a while you will think of the Military fondly, but not quite so often. But, don't be surprised if you still do a little "change step" once in a while, anyway. :-)

Response by 1stSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 31 at 2015 8:49 AM

1stSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 31 Oct 2015 08:49:17 -0400

Yes, but it gets better with time.

Response by SPC(P) Jay Heenan made Oct 31 at 2015 11:37 AM

SPC(P) Jay Heenan — Sat, 31 Oct 2015 11:37:47 -0400

I think we all feel this way. Even with the presence of a strong family, it is still difficult at times. I find that it is also harder if you are located in a small town, where there is really not a lot of immediate support for Veterans. Just keep at it brother and if you ever need someone to talk to, please do not hesitate to reach out to me! Sometimes, we are our best supporters.

Response by LTC Kevin B. made Oct 31 at 2015 11:57 AM

LTC Kevin B. — Sat, 31 Oct 2015 11:57:41 -0400

No problems here, but my situation was unique. My last five years on active duty felt like a semi-transition, so that made it easy for me. I was a professor teaching military officers (plus a handful of VA and DA civilians) in a graduate program on a military base. Heck, I didn't even wear the uniform all the time (we were allowed to wear business casual clothing twice a week).

Response by LTC John Shaw made Oct 31 at 2015 2:09 PM

LTC John Shaw — Sat, 31 Oct 2015 14:09:30 -0400

SGT Charles Bunch After each deployment, It takes me an average of two years to get used to the civilian/Army Reserve duty routine, just long enough to feel normal, then back to gearing up for deployment again.

Response by TSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 31 at 2015 6:01 PM

TSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 31 Oct 2015 18:01:17 -0400

I'm getting ready to and fear that will be the case but I have good support.

Response by Lt Col Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 31 at 2015 6:33 PM

Lt Col Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 31 Oct 2015 18:33:15 -0400

Every damn day

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 31 at 2015 11:18 PM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 31 Oct 2015 23:18:23 -0400

I did. I was really excited about the transition and going to school - I think that's what kept me focused and motivated.

One interesting observation I made about myself, that kept me lost for a while, was my inability to discern how to treat a "stranger". I had become so used to seeing uniforms and rank insignia that I used assumptions to decide how to interface with someone new. I found myself judging people based on their age, how they were dressed, how they spoke, or what title was on their name tags if they had one. I had to (re)learn to evaluate people.

Anyway, reintegration is an important process to be cognizant of as you're in the middle of it. I think I had an easy time, especially compared to someone who's coming off of 20+ active duty or has seen combat. Stay connected and stay self-aware. Best luck.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 31 at 2015 11:21 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 31 Oct 2015 23:21:19 -0400

You will for quite some time, but you will gradually learn how to handle the civilian way of life. It's not what we are used to, but we have to adapt to survive. Good luck!

Response by SPC Margaret Higgins made Nov 1 at 2015 6:03 PM

SPC Margaret Higgins — Sun, 01 Nov 2015 18:03:23 -0500

SGT Charles Bunch, decidedly so. I was very mentally ill; and I asked my father: what was "important in life". I had no clue where to begin.

Response by CH (LTC) Robert Leroe made Nov 1 at 2015 8:56 PM

CH (LTC) Robert Leroe — Sun, 01 Nov 2015 20:56:46 -0500

You have to have a strategy for returning to civilian life. Get involved with local veterans groups, and stay in touch with your battle buddies. Your military service will open doors the rest of your life. Hopefully you departed with good memories and no regrets. You'll miss it, but move on.

Response by SSG Audwin Scott made Nov 2 at 2015 8:31 AM

SSG Audwin Scott — Mon, 02 Nov 2015 08:31:03 -0500

I wouldn't say lost, but I did feel a little weird knowing I no longer had to depend on the Army being my number one support chain.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 2 at 2015 11:18 AM

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 02 Nov 2015 11:18:44 -0500

The key is to actively seek out and find those things - family, work, hobbies - that you want to be your new life. Jump in with both feet and learn the new you.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 3 at 2015 9:12 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 03 Nov 2015 21:12:14 -0500

When I got out of the Marines back in '02 I was extremely lost. I was barely 21 and had no idea what the real world was about. I quickly realized I made a mistake and even though I took me 5 years to figure it out I came on back home and have never been happier.

Response by SPC Margaret Higgins made Nov 16 at 2015 1:08 PM

SPC Margaret Higgins — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 13:08:52 -0500

I remember that I sure did; SGT Charles Bunch.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 16 at 2015 2:17 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 14:17:52 -0500

YES! Civilians didnt understand me, i didnt understand them, for a while i feared i made a huge mistake retiring at 22, i should have stayed longer....ect. It takes time, and yes find someone that has been there and done that, for me it was my pastor, he watched his dad go through the same thing and recognised it in me..

Response by Sgt Martin V. made Nov 16 at 2015 2:20 PM

Sgt Martin V. — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 14:20:22 -0500

I felt lost and like no one had my back. The civilian workforce is a very different beast. There are qualities that I have that make me a great Marine but they didn't translate too well when I got out.