Do you agree or disagree that Leadership is a Relationship?

COL Mikel J. Burroughs — Wed, 01 Jul 2015 15:26:46 -0400

Hey there Leaders on RP what are your comments and thoughts about this article?

I believe there are some valid points! Agree or disagree?

Leadership – A Relationship
By Nicole Lewin

There are born leaders and made leaders, but made leaders are more effective. What makes a made leader strong is that, he treats leadership as a relationship. For me, I see leadership as a way to develop camaraderie between the leader and his constituents. If you wish to know more about good and efficient relationships in leadership, then you should continue to read my article.

A lot of people might say that the existing relationship between the leader and his followers is vertical, where the leader is on the top of his constituents. For me, I beg to disagree, since leadership for me is another form of companionship, wherein their relationship is horizontal. The leader equals his followers, while his followers equal the leader. No one is lower than the other.

I would quote what Nelson Mandela had said in a magazine. In there, he said that a leader is someone who would place himself in front for others to follow. In turn, he knows how to place himself at the back to create future leaders. In such statements released by Mandela, I tend to slightly disagree with him, in a way that I look leadership as companionship.

How does leadership convert into companionship? Through companionship, you build bonds of friendship, wherein we become stronger. In leadership, the same thing happens. The leader becomes more empowered while his followers become mightier, in a sense that this relationship of leadership will expose them through the thick and thin of friendship. The power of people.

Now, imagine a world where everyone is friends with. It would had been such a good idea if it will stem through the leadership relationships of every country.

Response by LTC Stephen F. made Jul 1 at 2015 3:29 PM

LTC Stephen F. — Wed, 01 Jul 2015 15:29:20 -0400

Yes, leadership requires a leader and at least one follower which is certainly a relationship.

Response by MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca made Jul 1 at 2015 3:39 PM

MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca — Wed, 01 Jul 2015 15:39:56 -0400

Wholeheartedly agree sir. You can't be a leader without followers and you can't influence followers without being able to relate to them. There has to be a bond of commonality somewhere that develops over time. You don't just walk into a room, say "I'm in charge" and take the hill 2 seconds later.

Response by SFC(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 1 at 2015 3:40 PM

SFC(P) Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 01 Jul 2015 15:40:03 -0400

In the military, I think, we believe that leadership is vertical because many view the relationship as hierarchical. Some would say that the higher rank the more leadership skills a person should have. Some individuals do and some don't. I think it's amongst our peer ranks where companionship leadership is most effective since both parties are considered equals and could have the greatest influence.

Response by Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS made Jul 1 at 2015 3:42 PM

Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS — Wed, 01 Jul 2015 15:42:51 -0400

I see where the author is trying to go with this, but I think she fails to understand what leadership is.

Leadership has elements of Ownership. Think back to the first General Order of a Sentry:

"I will take charge of this post, and all government property in view."

This is not only an order, but a philosophy. "Ownership" is Responsibility. It means no longer passing the buck. For a Leader, there is a relationship, but it is one of Trust. We are Trusted with possession of those in our Charge. Those of us TAKE Charge, do so at our own peril as well. We do so because we believe we are best suited for the task.

There are elements of companionship to this, but we cannot mistake comradery for friendship, while in charge. The burden of decision can lose friends. A leader must make decisions that a group either cannot, or is unwilling to. Leaders exist as a matter of necessity. Nothing is solved by committee.

This is not to say the other doesn't have a good concept, but she misses a fundamental, in that a leader cannot be "equal." You must have a Captain on the Team. You must have an Arthur at the Round Table. You must have a CEO for the Board of Directors. That person can elevate his subordinate. Can mentor, and raise them, to the point of eventually replacing him, which is how our structure is designed in the military, but... they are not equals.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Jul 1 at 2015 3:45 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Wed, 01 Jul 2015 15:45:18 -0400

Yes Leadership is a Relationship. It trickles down, up, and laterally.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 1 at 2015 3:46 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 01 Jul 2015 15:46:33 -0400

Leadership is a Marriage with Trust and make twins called productivity and morality. I believe leadership is more that a relationship it's an institution.

Response by CW5 Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 1 at 2015 3:52 PM

CW5 Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 01 Jul 2015 15:52:51 -0400

I believe leadership is a skill. Relationships are valuable tools in leadership (and life). This is not intended to put relationships into a mundane or negative light at all. Just an observation.
The next step after building the relationship is to establish mentorship. This is how we groom and grow future leaders and improve ourselves.

Response by COL Charles Williams made Jul 1 at 2015 3:56 PM

COL Charles Williams — Wed, 01 Jul 2015 15:56:57 -0400

COL Mikel J. Burroughs Of course it is relationship. It is all about relationships.

Leadership deals with personal relationships one person to another, whereas Management obtains, directs, allocates resources to accomplish tasks. All leaders are likely managers, but not all managers are necessarily leaders.

http://changingminds.org/disciplines/leadership/articles/manager_leader.htm

Leadership vs. Management

Leaders lead people. Manager manage tasks. There is a difference.

Response by COL Jean (John) F. B. made Jul 1 at 2015 4:15 PM

COL Jean (John) F. B. — Wed, 01 Jul 2015 16:15:01 -0400

While I agree that effective leaders need to build appropriate relationships with their subordinates, absent that relationship, for whatever reason, the leader still needs to lead.

I have to admit that the opening sentence of the article turned me off and made me suspect from the start... "There are born leaders.." That is the age-old question, isn't it? Are leaders born or are they made through training, experience, etc.? While I recognize that some people are born with more of a propensity for leadership than others, I do not believe that leaders are born. Reminds me of a comment I once heard and have used on many occasions while teaching leadership courses in the military and in my civilian career... "I have never seen a birth announcement for a leader, but I have seen many obituaries for them".

Response by PFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 1 at 2015 4:22 PM

PFC Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 01 Jul 2015 16:22:22 -0400

Sir, everything is in some sort of relationship. However, there are many type of relationship everyone pick for diffrent situation. A effective leader would establish the best relationship for the current situation. I think this is where Nelson Mandela quote come into effect. During time of war, the squad leader goes down. At this time someone needs to step up and take charge. Then you got a time where everything is peaceful and the squad is back on home soil. During this time, the squad leader would teach the members to become a squad leader.

I do agree that a good companionship must be establish to increase the success rate of a task. Without it, you will have too many chieftain trying to usurp the other or a member refuse to follow order because their friendship is in a very bad state. This will increase the chance of a failure in a mission.

That being said, it is the leader job to establish their relationship with their team and demonstrate that they are qualified to be a leader and not a follower. You can have a situation where an E5 doesn't know anything and then you have an E4 leading that E5.

Response by SGT Mike Zimnicki made Jul 1 at 2015 4:42 PM

SGT Mike Zimnicki — Wed, 01 Jul 2015 16:42:07 -0400

Well said, thank you for sharing. I tend to like the team and equality environment. Leadership is more about listening and guiding then looking over and watching. If you cant roll up your sleves and join in the work you may want to rethink your leadership style.

Response by Lt Col Timothy Parker, DBA made Jul 1 at 2015 5:10 PM

Lt Col Timothy Parker, DBA — Wed, 01 Jul 2015 17:10:34 -0400

Well, I see leadership as more complicated than establishing camaraderie. And, I disagree that there are born leaders.
Point 1 - leadership is a relationship between people (leaders and follower) relative to the environment in which they operate. In a general business setting, it can be a matter of camaraderie or companionship. In a different setting, like the military, the environment is such that it a matter of trust between leaders and followers and a sense of respect. In a military setting, especially with special ops and Marines, the environment demands a different approach than companionship. The environment in many cases dictates the leadership style needed by the leader to achieve the desired results.
Point 2 - a large part of leadership is based on the idea of emotional intelligence in relationships. Some people develop this early in life and others don't. In that sense, they are "born" leaders. Anyone can develop emotional intelligence as well other characteristics you might attribute to being a leader.
Point 3 - leadership is a complicated concept with no one way to execute it. There are too many variables to say what it should be without knowing the nature of the people involved and the environment.
Just my humble opinion.
I'd be curious about your thoughts on the above.

Response by CAPT Kevin B. made Jul 1 at 2015 5:48 PM

CAPT Kevin B. — Wed, 01 Jul 2015 17:48:48 -0400

Actually leadership is vertical from the leader's perspective and if good about it is viewed more horizontal by the followers mostly due to their comfort in the leader. And good leaders are good followers when the situation warrants. I remember having a small Seabee Det getting a large field hospital erected. So in the early stages, everyone worked for me, even the hospital Skipper. Once that was done, I became the Public Works Officer working for the Hospital Skipper. There are many other examples but the common thread is knowing when it's right to lead and when it's right to follow. That's the only way we could get a 1000 bed with 5 surgeries, labs, food services, etc. all running in 3 days. Even then there was regular student bodies right when the food deliveries were made. Everyone worked for Cookie on that and Cookie made sure we ate well.

Now converting a water treatment tub into a hot tub also gets you bonus points.

Response by CW4 Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 1 at 2015 6:07 PM

CW4 Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 01 Jul 2015 18:07:32 -0400

Great share Sir and I agree that entire foundation of the Military is based off of relationships. Whether it be Leader and subordinate or peer and peer. The success of any team, sqaud, platoon, company, Battalion, BDE, Division or Corps depends on forging positive relationships based off of values, training and discipline. Positive relationships will survive and strive and negative relationships build contempt, complacency and failure.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 1 at 2015 6:08 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 01 Jul 2015 18:08:42 -0400

It's definitely a relationship. I had a good working relationship and friendship with my leadership at my last unit. Something like that became important to me. I don't have that where I'm currently located. So I do my best to be that for my guys so they know that my concern for their whereabouts and well-being doesn't end as soon as I take off the uniform. I feel like not enough people see things that way. In my opinion the out-of-work and in-work relationships coincide.

Response by SFC Kenneth Hunnell made Jul 1 at 2015 6:21 PM

SFC Kenneth Hunnell — Wed, 01 Jul 2015 18:21:38 -0400

There is one flaw to that, just imagine that you are in the position of asking your friend to something that might not go well. The job still needs to be done. What then

Response by PO2 Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 1 at 2015 6:50 PM

PO2 Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 01 Jul 2015 18:50:52 -0400

Leadership is never forgetting where you came from in the first place. People have such a high-regard for themselves that they often times forget where they came from.

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 2 at 2015 1:09 AM

SSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 02 Jul 2015 01:09:35 -0400

It should be expected that a leaders contribution is to make more leaders and I believe in order to do so you have to connect and aspire to inspire.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 2 at 2015 10:08 AM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 02 Jul 2015 10:08:37 -0400

Leadership is more than a concept, it is a practice. That being said, it is also situational. The author's premise that made leaders are more effective is not exclusively accurate in our military. Although Patton was West Point trained, I believe he was a born leader much in the way Audie Murphy was.
The idea that leadership is about companionship is akin to the new generation of parents that want to be their children's "friend." It rarely turns out well. I don't need my subordinates to be my friends, I need their respect. In turn, it is my job to empower them and facilitate their ability to get the mission accomplished.
I do agree COL Mikel J. Burroughs , that everyone's input is valuable and that positive relationships make the exchange of ideas and information more effective for everyone in the mentorship process.

Response by SMSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 2 at 2015 3:39 PM

SMSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 02 Jul 2015 15:39:10 -0400

Completely agree that leadership is a relationship with your folks. You cannot develop people if you don't know them what makes them tick and what their goals and ambitions are. So you have to have some kind of relationship to open the dialog with them. Remember no one cares how much you know until they know how much you care.

Response by Lt Col Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 2 at 2015 9:01 PM

Lt Col Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 02 Jul 2015 21:01:13 -0400

This would speak to the fact that some leaders are individuals you'd work for even without the military chain of command. These people impress you with a display of the combination of competence, personality, wiliness to make a personal effort on behalf of those under his/her command, and earnestness. This combination of 'personal' power along with the positional power rank bestows makes for the relationship you speak of.

Response by SCPO Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 4 at 2015 1:08 AM

SCPO Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 04 Jul 2015 01:08:39 -0400

Wholeheartedly agree!!!

Response by SGT James Vidito made Jul 13 at 2015 12:54 PM

SGT James Vidito — Mon, 13 Jul 2015 12:54:47 -0400

Leadership is the combination of three very important attributes: Relationship, Task and Character. One can be a positional leader without some, or even any of these, but they won’t actually be a leader – more of a manager. To be a leader, you must focus on these three attributes consistently.

Relationship is extremely important, as it bonds people together. In a leadership role, you get to know your team and earn their trust, respect and, dare I say it, love. Yes, I absolutely loved a few of my commanders during my tenure in the Army. They fostered a relationship with me and my team. We were important to them, and they let us know it.

However, relationship alone does not a great leader make. One must be focused on the task, or the mission. If you’ve built a great relationship with your team, but aren’t focused on the mission properly, you have a bunch of buddies, but are not really a leader. Being focused on the mission allows your team to see where their duties lie – focused on the mission. METL is not just an acronym to know for the promotion board – it really helps to keep your mind in the right place.

Character is the final piece of the puzzle. Building relationships and being focused on the mission mean nothing if your character is always in question. At what price is your integrity bought? A good OER/NCOER? Making the marks you know are not accurate, because you want to ‘foster relationship’ only hurts the whole team, and now the team knows that their marks can come into question. Was the CPT being accurate or being nice. Who else knows that you’re not as truthful as you should be? What else does the Platoon Sergeant stretch the truth on? Helping the unit hide issues for an IG inspection? I mean, what could go wrong with that, right?

Yes, relationship is very important, but to say that leadership is relationship really comes short on what leadership truly is. At least that’s my opinion…

Response by MAJ David Vermillion made Feb 19 at 2016 9:42 PM

MAJ David Vermillion — Fri, 19 Feb 2016 21:42:42 -0500

Absolutely! That's why you follow certain leaders.

Response by Doug Macdonald made Feb 25 at 2016 2:17 PM

Doug Macdonald — Thu, 25 Feb 2016 14:17:21 -0500

There is that word TRUST again... I starting to see a trend. Yes without a doubt leadership is a relationship in which one should 'Seek to understand to be understood".

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 21 at 2017 10:46 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 21 Mar 2017 10:46:07 -0400

Agree! You better be a damn good leader if I'm gonna jump off the life bridge with you! Leadership in war time is the same as if you were in accident! If your injured and support your neck with my hands I just made a marital commitment to make sure you don't die of a possible neck injury. But you have to trust I know what I'm doing till a proper c-spine can replace me.
I want to know someone has more then just my 6! Cause I don't shorten where I stand.

Response by CH (COL) Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 21 at 2017 11:05 AM

CH (COL) Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 21 Mar 2017 11:05:13 -0400

I would add a category...good leaders. Born leaders without being shaped by mentors will eventually plateau or fail. Made leaders without talent tend to fail earlier. Good leaders are people with talent that has been honed and to whom experience and tools have been added by your "makers."

Response by SSgt Robert Marx made Mar 21 at 2017 12:27 PM

SSgt Robert Marx — Tue, 21 Mar 2017 12:27:16 -0400

I agree that there must be relationship for trust to flourish. but at the end of the day, true leaders instill a willingness to obey orders by subordinates through a force of will that can than be extended to new comers as the arrive and first fall into the unit. True leaders are at the front directing while subordinates gather just as a mother duck builds her ducklings. The ducks understand by instinct to follow the large bird above them and than grow to love & trust them. All organizations have this leadership scenario where subordinates understand to follow their leader who then must build relationships. Hirelings are exposed as being a leader in name only while true leaders instill loyalty through word & deed.

Response by SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth made Mar 21 at 2017 12:49 PM

SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth — Tue, 21 Mar 2017 12:49:49 -0400

I classify myself as a made leader, why make people do what your not willing to do.

Response by CSM Richard Welsch made Mar 21 at 2017 1:49 PM

CSM Richard Welsch — Tue, 21 Mar 2017 13:49:03 -0400

I awways beleaved not everyone is a leader and you lead by example and show the way and treat others with the same dignity and respect just like I expect to be treated.A lot of people just have plan A in Their head and never think passed that until they find them self in a sisuation FUBR.I always think of plannA B C & D and that's how I live my life no matter what I'm doing.I have noticed when a sisuation goes to hell and the people you are with start to panic except the individual that already pre-thought plan B and regroups the rest naturally follow your lead. In a relationship not that I'm experienced in because the women in my life now was my first Whoever, their is nothing wrong with with being the leader but it depends on the sisuation and we have to be opened minded to skills they might have but never noticed because being a person that was responsible for others in life was in the past and I learned a relationship is built on trust and being opened minded to your other half and sometimes even if you dont agree with her or him and know it's going to fail theirs noting wrong with going with it because in the end their Hillyer will become a success once you explain a different way you could've been done.

That's something Imlive by because in the military we were set up for failure just to succeed in the end. If a person can't understand a relationship is 50/50 it will never work.Thats probley why I have not been in one until the past 5 months.Shes just a very special woman that understands me.Sad to say but I never cared for a woman to be in my arms around me all the time it would make me crazy.The woman I'm with has a huge heart and we were friends for 4 months prior to our relationship and the funny thing is I never thought of her like that. The first time I called her I yelled at her because The service dog I sponsored the person they cleaned to be a veteran that wasn't and I received the wrong information in and I was under the pretense that she was going to put the dog down because she's a veterinarian but that was not the case at all.And when I called her I never seen her or spoke to her all I cared about was the dog and we became good friends nothing more until one day everything changed.

Response by CW4 Angel C. made Mar 21 at 2017 1:50 PM

CW4 Angel C. — Tue, 21 Mar 2017 13:50:11 -0400

This is so true.

Response by SGT Stephen Tucker made Mar 21 at 2017 7:18 PM

SGT Stephen Tucker — Tue, 21 Mar 2017 19:18:35 -0400

I see some things in there that relate. I think there are some things left out! I have always said my troops are my family AKA relationships. However as a leader you have many many responsibilities. First of those being is to accomplish my mission. You have to remember no matter what every leaders first item is to accomplish there mission. They are responsible to the people they work AKA the chain of command to make it happen come rain, snow or sunshine. Remember if your in charge all the good, bad and in between falls on your shoulders squarely. Yup you heard me right your responsible its up to you to keep your house in order. I believe you imply those items as tools of the trade. Its imperative that everyone that works for you trust you and your decisions. However they are not always going to agree. This is where discipline comes in you don't have to agree with me but you do have to follow me. Love plays a role you have to care about your people if you don't you have no business being a leader. I always considered all my people my kids they can come to me with anything. I want to know what is going on with them. Again the more I know the better prepared I am for anything coming down the pipe line. Encouragement well thats a fancy word for motivation. Believe me when I say this some times its easy and other times you have to light a fire under someones ass. I like to think esprit to corp also plays a part. As far as hope you have to provide some light at the end of the tunnel. Installing hope a lot of times equals more effort to get to the end of what the mission is. I could carry on for the next ten paragraphs on the subject of leadership in my eyes. I feel the article is lacking a little and leadership is not nearly that simple. Its a complex role that can be multifaceted and layered. Just my take on it.

Response by PO3 John Wagner made Mar 21 at 2017 7:37 PM

PO3 John Wagner — Tue, 21 Mar 2017 19:37:25 -0400

In my small experience with my current leader...who as far as I tell only hires guys he has known for a very long time and already trusts..our relationship has grown as we work together and learn to appreciate and respect the others expertise more and more.
If he is pissed at a customer, he can tell me. Of course I understand. If he is frustrated with a driver he can tell me. There is a term I heard once..Underliner. I don't need to tell others why I am underlining something and don't want to. If someone comes to me and they are upset because the boss got mad at them. I can usually just say, "Yeah, you pissed him off." Then they get quiet. Then I explain why. Then I am done with it, they are enlightened, and all is well with the world.
Bosses don't "apologize ". He doesn't get mad unless he gets lied to or let down.
When a new guy gets into the mix I evaluate him.. this is all unofficial.. If I see a potential issue I mention it. At that point my job is done.
It is a relationship but I haven't any formal training. It is just normal I guess.
Military officers haven't got 30 years on the job o learn this so they receive formal training.
My hat is off to the young men and women who can do it. It requires a distancing from coworkers which can be very lonely I am sure.

Response by CPL Beth Allsop made Mar 21 at 2017 11:17 PM

CPL Beth Allsop — Tue, 21 Mar 2017 23:17:41 -0400

When leadership is used as a dictatorship, it kends to a very unpleasant environment.
I wholeheartedly agree with the statement that leadership is a relationship! I wish that more leaders thought this way, the world would be a much easier place to navigate. If all junior officers leaned on their senior NCOs the military would be easier to navigate. Hence forth, leaders should have a relationship with their staff that fosters trust and responsibility, rather than a thumb on their forehead.
Thank you for the excellent article COL Mikel J. Burroughs !
I know there will be many more to come.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 22 at 2017 10:33 AM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 22 Mar 2017 10:33:27 -0400

I agree that Leadership is definitely a well guided relationship with an end state. All leaders have had mentors at some point in their career and/or life that inspired them in which they are now doing as well, building that continuous relationship wit all those around them.

Response by CPT Scott Sharon made Mar 22 at 2017 11:00 AM

CPT Scott Sharon — Wed, 22 Mar 2017 11:00:09 -0400

I love this post and the discussion. I think we see from all the comments that GREAT leadership has many qualities including relationship. In combat where you are asked to put your life on the line by a leader, they need to have your trust and respect. You have to know they are willing to put their life on the line also but be responsible enough to understand the huge responsibility they have in risking someone else's life.
I have seen leaders that were not afraid to risk their own life and the lives of others but just that one quality does not make a great leader. They also have to value those lives and accept the huge responsibility that goes with it.

Response by MSG Mark Million made Mar 22 at 2017 12:17 PM

MSG Mark Million — Wed, 22 Mar 2017 12:17:23 -0400

I understand the concept of born leaders and made leaders, however it is important to keep in mind that born leaders can learn how to be better leaders through thought and effort. This means that a born leader can be both a born leader and a made leader.

Response by COL Mark Crowley made Mar 22 at 2017 12:44 PM

COL Mark Crowley — Wed, 22 Mar 2017 12:44:25 -0400

I believe that certain parts of leadership are innate and others are developed with training and experience and do by necessity involve development of trust and camaraderie by those who lead from the front

Response by Sgt John H. made Mar 22 at 2017 12:49 PM

Sgt John H. — Wed, 22 Mar 2017 12:49:26 -0400

I agree that some made leaders are stronger if they have the opportunity to earn the respect and trust of their people. However, I disagree with the comparisons between leadership, friendship and companionship. Leaders have to separate themselves from becoming friends and companions as they inevitably will be making decisions that serve the mission and not their friends and companions. A leader must earn the trust and understanding from his charges that when these hard decisions are made, the leader understands the sacrifice and cost he is imposing; That he is not making giving orders rashly and that he is looking out for the greater good of not only his troops but his mission.

Response by PO2 Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 22 at 2017 1:08 PM

PO2 Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 22 Mar 2017 13:08:59 -0400

I agree that leadership is a relationship with your people. If your people have no trust in you, they won't want to follow you. If you don't encourage your people to do their best and never give up, they won't give their all to the mission and quit when they fail.

I do agree with the Nelson Mandela part though, where you put yourself in front of your people and get out there doing the job and showing them how to get it done instead of just telling them as doing that will also build on the relationship and camaraderie but never forget to 'place yourself in the back' to allow others to step up and become leaders as well.

Response by SPC Brian Stephens made Mar 22 at 2017 1:31 PM

SPC Brian Stephens — Wed, 22 Mar 2017 13:31:08 -0400

Without a vision, all this definition of leadership can be is simply middle management. Sure, leadership can be about a relationship, but it is also about driving people to a defined goal or vision. In college, I was told the difference between leadership and management. Managers are the ones who drives people through a forest and says, "We are making progress!!!" A leader, on the other hand says, "We' re in the wrong forest." The former is focused on the work. The latter is goal and vision-oriented.

Response by GySgt Melissa Gravila made Mar 22 at 2017 6:56 PM

GySgt Melissa Gravila — Wed, 22 Mar 2017 18:56:43 -0400

I have 2 words for this topic....servant leadership. An effective leader knows the strengths and weaknesses of all in the unit (including themselves). The leader builds the cohesive unit not just by taking ownership, but also having everyone in the unit taking responsibility and ownership themselves. Everyone helps minimize the weaknesses and maximizes the strengths-together. A leader must know when to push and when to ease up, and be a "parental figure" to the unit.

S/F

Response by SGT Kevin Leake made Mar 23 at 2017 12:34 AM

SGT Kevin Leake — Thu, 23 Mar 2017 00:34:50 -0400

I would have to say using the example put forth by the author they would not be a good leader. Yes leaders have a relationship with those they lead, to me it's more through respect for each others ability to perform their assigned task .

Response by SGT Kevin Leake made Mar 23 at 2017 12:56 AM

SGT Kevin Leake — Thu, 23 Mar 2017 00:56:13 -0400

After reading a few post I find I might have to explain myself a little more. I don't know how things are now but when I was active I witness a lot of NCO's befriending their troops and it didn't end well for them, to many times some people can't separate the friendship part from the duty part or business. And that has caused problems with orders not being followed that's why I used the word respect instead of friendship mutual respect is also a good working relationship.

Response by SSG Kenneth Stacy made Mar 23 at 2017 6:56 AM

SSG Kenneth Stacy — Thu, 23 Mar 2017 06:56:13 -0400

Yes. Trust is important to leadership. If you can't trust the boss to keep your safety in his mind as the mission progresses, you cannot concentrate on accomplishing said mission.

Response by SSG Kenneth Stacy made Mar 23 at 2017 6:56 AM

SSG Kenneth Stacy — Thu, 23 Mar 2017 06:56:26 -0400

Yes. Trust is important to leadership. If you can't trust the boss to keep your safety in his mind as the mission progresses, you cannot concentrate on accomplishing said mission.

Response by PO1 Ron Clark made Mar 23 at 2017 9:32 AM

PO1 Ron Clark — Thu, 23 Mar 2017 09:32:23 -0400

I may be wrong however, I think that made leaders are more effective. In order to be a leader, you have to know how to follow. If you cant follow then learning to lead is near impossible. It's easy to get into a leadership roll and just shoot from the hip and produce success based on how lucky you are, however from learned qualities you have actually been in a situation close to what you are in and you can draw from those experiences as fodder for decision making each time.

Response by SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth made Mar 23 at 2017 4:32 PM

SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth — Thu, 23 Mar 2017 16:32:43 -0400

I agree that it is a relationship.

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 23 at 2017 6:14 PM

SSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 23 Mar 2017 18:14:08 -0400

For me, a true leader is someone who grows more leaders. How that is done is through several of the points above and can *ALL* basically be boiled down to the Golden Rule.

Response by CMSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 23 at 2017 6:18 PM

CMSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 23 Mar 2017 18:18:26 -0400

Interesting summarization, I would point out there is a difference between "leadership" and a "leader". My read on what she is describing is...management.

Response by SSgt Ron Dexter made Mar 23 at 2017 7:07 PM

SSgt Ron Dexter — Thu, 23 Mar 2017 19:07:27 -0400

Way too "touchy feely" for my liking! Not my style, but if it works for her, more power to her. The quote from President Nelson Mandela is where I lean, and her disagreements with it really baffles me. Is this leadership in the "Millennial" generation's world?

Response by LTC Wayne Dandridge made Mar 23 at 2017 9:48 PM

LTC Wayne Dandridge — Thu, 23 Mar 2017 21:48:10 -0400

Yes, leaders are made (and made better leaders) through education, training, mentorship, counseling, family support, and sometimes punishing. Here is an article I wrote based on an award winning speech I made at the Armed Forces staff College many years ago. The speech has been made into a magazine and news paper article and has been published in over 20 magazines, news papers, and two books in the USA, Germany, and England. The article has been used by almost every Army School (West Point, Aviation MP, Engineer, AG, Artillery, National Guard, etc.) and many others) and many industry and civilian organizations (Homeland Security, Blue Cross, AUSA, MOWW, etc.) to stimulate thought on what6 is good leadership.
---------------article starts here----------------------
We Need Government Civilian and Industry Leaders
To Sign Up to this Military Philosophy of Leadership.

(A Personal View)

Leadership is taking the point position when your flight or unit is expecting contact with the enemy. Leadership is flying a crippled bomber to the ground when one of your wounded crew members cannot bail out. Leadership is keeping your young soldiers, marines, airmen, sailors, and coast guardsmen alive and never leaving your wounded behind. Leadership is duty, honor, and country. Leadership is writing a dead trooper’s family a personal letter immediately after the battle.

Leadership is not glorifying war. Leadership is not doing “anything” just to get promoted. Leadership is not winning the battle at all costs, nor is it losing a war to avoid causalities. Leadership is not found in the security of a well fortified command bunker, nor is it found in a plush officers’ field mess.

No compromise of the integrity of one’s word, deed, or signature is leadership. Setting high standards and seeing that they are met is leadership. Intelligence, dedication, creativity, and selflessness are leadership. Stamina, vigor, and commitment are leadership. Spontaneous, contagious enthusiasm is leadership. Initiative, self-improvement, and professionalism are leadership.

Leadership is rewarding a soldier, sailor, airman, marine, coast guardsman, or civilian with the appropriate recognition immediately after exceptional service. Leadership is commanding and managing. Leadership is establishing and meeting, by priority, specific objectives. Leadership is managing by exception, using job enlargement, and seeking job enrichment. Leadership knows that leading is more than just “follow me”, but also “follow my orders”.

Believing in God, family, and country, in that order is leadership. Being humanistic is leadership. Trusting well trained troops ideas and decisions is leadership. Knowing where the mission is at, when the troops and material are to be there, and how many troops and systems are needed to win is leadership. Blocking out periods of “private time” to accomplish creative work and recharge is leadership. Compromising for the good of the whole with sister services and partner leaders on budgeting, planning, and executing is leadership.

Leadership is treating men and women equally without regard to race, color, creed, religion, age, or custom. Leadership is visiting your wounded and sick frequently. Leadership is knowing and living by the Constitution, the Code of Conduct, the Geneva Convention, and the basic human rights of all mankind.

A leader is assertive, but not aggressive. Leadership is neither ruthless nor mindless discipline, but it is the ability to do the right thing at the right time, by putting the whole before the parts. Leadership is not a good efficiency report, nor is it paper readiness. Leadership is not a court martial for every mistake nor is it leniency for serious violations. A leader is fair, predictable, and consistent.

Giving a superior sound professional advice, even when you know he or she does not want to hear it is leadership. After you have given your best advice, following all legal, moral, and ethical orders, even when you do not agree with them is leadership. Leading when you can; following when you should; and getting the hell out of the way when you have nothing to offer, is leadership. Learning the language, culture, and customs of a host country is leadership. Staying in top physical condition is leadership.

Leadership is a general who knows the friendly and enemy situation, knows the immediate action sequence for the M16 rifle, knows his driver’s first name and family, and can recite the Lord’s Prayer. Leadership is a private who knows that he or she is in the chain of command and may have to take over when senior in rank. Leadership knows that a water truck in the desert is worth more combat power that an extra armored cavalry regiment.

Not forgetting that the past is our heritage, the present is our challenge, and the future is our responsibility is leadership. Not being overweight, not smoking, saying no to drugs, and not drinking alcohol in excess is leadership. Delegating authority, commanding confidence and respect, and accepting full responsibility for your actions is leadership. Ingenuity, sociability, tact, and tenacity are leadership. Cross training is leadership.

Leadership is not being right all the time, and it is certainly not being wrong most of the time. Leadership fixes problems---not blame. Leadership is adaptability, appearance, cooperation, and decisiveness. Leadership displays knowledge, manages resources efficiently, and plans beyond the immediate requirements of assigned duties. Leadership creates an organization of mutual respect. Leadership is building an organization and environment where it is not necessary to tell troops what to do. Leadership knows that combat without conscience is evil.

A leader knows why there are air, land, and sea forces; why there are cavalry, infantry, armor, artillery, aviation, amphibious, special operations, propositioned, recon, and logistical forces; and why combined arms and concentration of combat power are important.

A leader knows about air, land, sea, and cyberspace battle and defense in depth, civil affairs, urban operations, counter insurgency techniques, the advantages our forces have at night, and how to use them. A wise leader knows that young soldiers spend most of their time worrying about and planning tactics, while older more experienced soldiers spend the majority of their time worrying about and planning logistics.

Leadership can be good or bad, centralized or decentralized, warm or cold, offensive or defensive, macro or micro, or expensive or free. Leadership can be Catholic or Protestant, Jewish or Moslem, Hindu or Mormon, Atheist or Agnostic. Leadership prevents over mobility of junior leaders and troops, by keeping them in their jobs long enough to really learn their jobs and common and collective tasks and to work as team members. Establishing and promoting worker and troop certification and team certification programs are leadership. Leadership provides their troops with plenty of clean water and hot food. Leadership keeps their troops as comfortable as possible, keeps them feed, keeps them clean, keeps them supplied, keeps them informed, and keeps them from becoming depressed and suicidal.

Leaders hope and pray for the best and plan for the worst. Leaders know about the need to wage “total war” to win and the special advantage the defender has in cities, mountains, and jungles. Leaders know how to “own the night” and take maximum advantage of all of the combat arms team, and is skilled in the use of snipers, attack helicopters, counter artillery, naval gun/missile fire, and close air support. Leaders know not to keep troops weapons locked up and away from them, but rather train troops to live with a clean, safe, and serviceable weapon that they are an expert in.

Leadership is embodied in Martin Luther King Jr., Abraham Lincoln, Pope John Paul II, Robert E. Lee, Mohammed, Irwin Rommel, Jesus, Joan of Arc, John Paul Jones, Winston Churchill, Sister Teresa, Margaret Thatcher, Mohammad, Nelson Mandela, and many other well known figures. Also leaders are Robert Lee Lightle, J.C. Dandridge, Sam Deloach, Bubba Segrest, Luther Bergen, Gene Booth, Dan Hickman, Wes Komulainen, Brian King, Frank Gordon, Dick Orrell, and thousands of other unknowns.

Commitment to the team and a participatory form of leadership that draws on every troop’s knowledge and skills, at every level is leadership. Encouraging and rewarding suggestions and complaints is leadership. Having an “open door” and “open mind” policy is leadership. Empowering troops, civil service employees, and support contractors with the tools, responsibility, authority, and “accountability” to get the tough jobs done is leadership. Making troops multi-process, multi weapon, and multi-functional experts is good leadership. Good leaders practice servant leadership.

Leaders know that “the bitterness of low quality remains long after the sweetness of low price”. Leaders allow talented soldiers “long leashes” for experimenting. Leaders find ways to satisfy the essential need of troops and civil servants to be both part of a team and be recognized as individuals. Leaders know how to use “internal and external bench marking”, observations, and inspections to rate their organization’s readiness, products, services, and processes against those front runners in their specialty.

Leadership is guiding. Leadership is legendary. Leadership is foresight. Leadership is absorbent, abstinent, and, unfortunately, at times it is abominable. Leadership is baccalaureate, balanced, basic, and too frequently backward and barbaric. Leadership has saved lives, killed, stopped wars, and started wars. Leadership has walked softly and carried a big stick, but it has also been loud and nonviolent.

Saying what you do (in clear concise Standard Operating Procedures - SOPs, Plans, Processes, and Operations Orders) and doing what you say (following those processes) is leadership. Breaking down communication barriers between staffs, line units, support organizations, and sister units is leadership. Getting at least a green belt in Lean Six Sigma techniques is leadership.

Asking deep probing questions (five why), finding root causes, and developing sound counter measures to mistake proof processes is leadership. Changing problems into opportunities is leadership. Knowing that you can seldom wait until you have all of the answers is leadership. Repeatedly doing simple things that demonstrate sincerity is leadership.

Leadership is honesty, enthusiasm, loyalty, courage, and wisdom. Taking care of your soldiers’, civilians, sailors, airmen, coast guardsmen, and marines and their dependents is leadership. Leadership includes being a good boss, good comrade and friend, father or mother, son or daughter, sister or brother, and husband or wife. Knowing that the profession of arms is much more than just a job is leadership.

Being an unquestionable friend to the environment is leadership. Basing decisions on facts is leadership. Promoting and rewarding continuous improvement and value are leadership. Being a champion of safety and quality is leadership. Staying focused on internal customers, external customers, and the enemy is leadership. Finding and eliminating the eight types of waste (waiting, overproduction, rework, motion, transportation, processing, inventory, and intellect) is leadership.

Performing preventive maintenance, knowing what cellular techniques involve, being skilled in set up reduction, understanding mixed model methods, and understanding rocks-in-the river problem solving and inventory management is leadership. Knowing how to level and balance work load, understanding that distance (to supplies, replacements, ammunition, fuel, etc.) is usually evil, and ensuring things are at least “in-time”, if not “just in time” is leadership.

Leadership is enthusiasm, optimism, helping, training, encouraging, understanding, motivating, disciplining, crying, laughing, standing firm, giving way, counseling, correcting, giving a second chance, and trying again and again. Leaders are tall, short, thin, heavy, male, female, black, brown, white, yellow, old, young, and naturalized and un-naturalized. Leaders are from the city and from the farm. Leadership works hard to close the gap between a soldier’s potential and their performance.

Knowing how to use teams, flow charts (value streams and process maps), simple --- yet powerful statistical methods, set up reduction, simplification, continuous improvement, responsive complaint and suggestion programs, and standardization to get the tough jobs done is leadership. Leadership makes quality easy to see, feel, smell, taste, and hear, by finding root causes and permanently fixing the problem. Leadership is clarifying processes, identifying the detailed steps of each process, eliminating all non-value added activities, and making every troop an expert at solider common tasks --- everyone should be an Infantryman first!

Leadership is caring, compassion, understanding, concentric, and leading by example. Leadership knows that treating all prisoners and detainees in accordance with the Geneva Convention and other appropriate protections is absolutely essential to having any kind of chance of getting the same humane and dignified treatment for our Prisoners of War (POWs) from our enemies.

Leaders look you in the eye, kick you in the ass, cover your flank, and take your place on the most dangerous mission. Knowing there is “a place for everything and everything in its place” is leadership. Leadership admits mistakes and learns from them. Eating last is leadership and leaving the pickup zone (PZ) last is leadership. Going up the hill first and “pulling your troops up behind you” is leadership. Sharing the pains of heat, dirt, cold, wet, insects, leaches, fleas, lice, and other harsh environmental conditions is leadership. “Packing your own roll and digging your own hole” is leadership.

Leadership comes from experience, but experience comes from making mistakes. A leader changes the odds and knows the risks. Leaders develop teamwork. The tides, the channels, the seasons, the winds, the hazards, the weather, the enemy, the terrain, and the best forecast are all known by leaders. Leadership knows that the one most important word is “we” and the least most important word is “I”. Leadership knows there is no end to change, except failure. Leadership knows that if you treat every customer (and trooper) like your last or first, you would never have to worry about repeat business.

Leaders often make good grades in school and have numerous years of formal education and many important degrees. But they also have been known to fail Math, English, and other equally important subjects. Leaders make sure the enemy gives his life for his cause. Leadership ensures his troops always have the tactical advantage, best training, best equipment, and the highest morale, plenty of water, rest, and hot food. Leaders work hard at ensuring the workload is distributed equally among all troops.

Leadership comes from family, friends, teachers, coaches, and pastors. Simple, easy-to-understand orders come from leaders. Complex tasks are changed into short and accurate plans through leadership. Leadership can be learned and taught, but it cannot be forgotten nor brought. Leadership can be seen, tasted, smelled, felt, and heard, and it can come from a blind person with no hands who cannot hear, speak, nor walk.

As Tomas Paine said, “Lead, follow, or get out of the way”. Finally, a leader is so in love with life that he or she is willing to die to ensure that others lives, and our great nation will go on!

Note: The above Leadership article is based on an award winning speech W. Larry Dandridge gave at the Armed Forces Staff College in 1983 and earlier, shorter versions of the article has been published in over 20 magazines, professional journals, and news papers and two books in the US, England, and Germany. In some cases it has been published twice in the same magazines. This article has been used at West Point, the Coast Guard Academy, almost every Army School (Aviation, Engineer, Artillery, MP, AG, Warrant Officer, etc.), the German War College, the Department of Homeland Security, Army National Guard, AUSA, US Army Europe, the Berlin Brigade, Blue Cross Blue Shield of SC, QinetiQ North America Inc., and many other government and industry schools and businesses to teach leadership.

Author W. Larry Dandridge’s Biography
Larry Dandridge is a certified “Business Process Reengineering Specialist”, Lean Six Sigma Black Belt, successful non-fiction military history author, and the CEO of Tigers, Vikings, and Vipers Publishing LLC. His latest all five-star reviewed, military-history, action-packed paperback book, BLADES OF THUNDER (BOOK ONE) has all five star reviews (over 120) and has raised over $60,000.00 for FISHER HOUSE CHARLESTON. You can contact Larry at [login to see]

Response by COL Charles Williams made Mar 24 at 2017 2:31 AM

COL Charles Williams — Fri, 24 Mar 2017 02:31:35 -0400

No, who would? COL Mikel J. Burroughs Leadership by simple definition is all about personal relationships.

Response by 1SG James Lyon made Mar 24 at 2017 10:54 AM

1SG James Lyon — Fri, 24 Mar 2017 10:54:53 -0400

True leadership must be a relationship of mutual respect for each member of the team regardless of the size. Too often the most effective person in a situation has the lowest ranking.

Response by SSgt Boyd Herrst made Mar 25 at 2017 11:07 AM

SSgt Boyd Herrst — Sat, 25 Mar 2017 11:07:47 -0400

Leadership is a relationship:....

re·la·tion·ship
rəˈlāSH(ə)nˌSHip/
noun
the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.
"the study will assess the relationship between unemployment*1 and political attitudes"
synonyms: connection, relation, association, link, correlation, correspondence, parallel, alliance, bond, interrelation, interconnection

near the top it mentions about two or more concepts, objects, persons are related..
---------
SSGT or other NCO(Ldshp)
+
Junior NCOs and labor. (Persons)
+ mission (concept[s])
Link(s) tools that might be used
=
SSGT conveying to junior NCO(s), Airmen or privates what they will be doing to achieve completion of mission project with tools(link(s) available if needed.

*1. Unemployment: where subordinate could possibly find themself after completion of courts martial/military punishment for "Refusal/failure to go"...

An NCO's interpretation of between Leadership and relationship.. does any
body see a prob with this?

Response by SSgt Boyd Herrst made Mar 25 at 2017 11:20 AM

SSgt Boyd Herrst — Sat, 25 Mar 2017 11:20:05 -0400

I forgot to mention about political attitudes. When I was in We didn't let political attitudes intervene.(I.e.: political correctness[i consider this a nasty political attitude]) this seemed prevalent in the obama years. Another prob was a
Time-out, seriously? I s'pose that meant getting one's t.s. Card punched by the chaplain or being handed a crying towel by the Civ. Social worker with a MSW on their wall specializing in Trauma in the Military duty areas.. geez!..
hopefully our Military can wipe the slate and clear out the former Potus's political appointees.. which were all over Prob'ly.

Response by SSgt Boyd Herrst made Mar 25 at 2017 11:28 AM

SSgt Boyd Herrst — Sat, 25 Mar 2017 11:28:33 -0400

This goes with the above: what I meant by trauma in the Military work area was having to do details like moving gravel by the bucketfuls to another pile then move it back again because s'body left their footlocker unlocked/open and they weren't around it to keep it secure.
Or that "jelly donut". .. oh that's right
E'body gets to do them except the guilty party( "Here, you eat it, they're paying for it!" By the way my fave scene)..

Response by PO2 Sybil "TT" I. made Mar 26 at 2017 1:28 AM

PO2 Sybil "TT" I. — Sun, 26 Mar 2017 01:28:15 -0400

I agree with some of what was said in the article, yet the best Commanding Officer I had, was with a guy I can say I had barely any 'relationship' with and certainly wasn't friends with. The other guys did, but our non-relationship didn't effect how I was evaluated or treated, which was refreshingly a relief and I respected him all the more.

Response by MSgt Roger Settlemyer made Mar 26 at 2017 4:58 PM

MSgt Roger Settlemyer — Sun, 26 Mar 2017 16:58:41 -0400

Yes Leadership is Relationship, but it's more than that. It motivation. What motivates people. Some people need praise, other need a kick in the ass. Some need to be just left alone.Above all they all need respect. Then you can build a relationships.
In the Military it is too bad we can't have close friends unless they are equal or just one rank above or below us. We can't go to the Major House for a Beer. It is not done, someday he might have to order us to take that hill, a life or death decision. He has to make those hard decisions.

Response by COL Charles Williams made Mar 27 at 2017 12:36 AM

COL Charles Williams — Mon, 27 Mar 2017 00:36:51 -0400

Yes, Leadership is all about personal relationships COL Mikel J. Burroughs

Response by SFC James Beasley made Apr 20 at 2017 2:30 PM

SFC James Beasley — Thu, 20 Apr 2017 14:30:37 -0400

Babies are born with the ability to walk, but will not be good at it until they practice. People for the most part are born with some ability to lead. They develop these leadership skills from years of practice whether at work or play. Leadership is a relationship between those that lead and those that follow. People will follow a good leader because they know that person cares.

Response by PO1 Robert Johnson made Apr 29 at 2017 11:04 AM

PO1 Robert Johnson — Sat, 29 Apr 2017 11:04:32 -0400

I believe that the author's theory has a lot of holes in it. Leadership evolves from relationships and experience. Relationships depend on a give and take basis and are successful through earned respect. From that respect, leaders are formed. Factors including trust, experience, willingness to accept challenges and ability to assess and process actions for and by the group are what makes a leader. Part of a good leader's actions will include assessing the abilities and the weaknesses every member of the group and ways to utilize those strengths and mitigate the weaknesses for the group as a whole and to work with the individuals to alleviate those weaknesses. In their assessments a good leader will be aware of skills in the group members which will, with experience, allow them to develop other skills to enable new leadership. The Horizontal model does not allow this development.

Response by SFC Frank Hayden, MPA made May 2 at 2017 11:29 AM

SFC Frank Hayden, MPA — Tue, 02 May 2017 11:29:27 -0400

Yes, I agree leadership is a type of relationship; however, that relationship is built on trust and over time. Initially, the leadership relationship is in the building stages, and can improve or dissolve based on the leader. What does this mean? What it means is... If I am an (Authoritarian type) leader that just barks out orders, they may be followed, but no lasting relationship is built. The subordinate may not even know or understand why, but just does as told. The real leader or (Transformational type Leader) approaches this leadership relationship much differently... This leader, shows and many times participates in the education of a subordinate and most importantly, gets to know the subordinate and how to lead them most effectively. Theodore Roosevelt once said, and I quote "No one cares about what you know, until they know how much you care." Which brings me to my point, build a strong, professional relationship with your subordinates and get to know them. Ask questions, gain the knowledge needed to lead them most effectively, and make them know you have their best interest at heart. This is called building "TRUST," the foundation of any relationship. Once your subordinates trust you, only then, will they truly follow you.

Response by SSgt Boyd Welch made May 2 at 2017 2:19 PM

SSgt Boyd Welch — Tue, 02 May 2017 14:19:15 -0400

I believe that it is indeed a relationship with your direct reports. You accept their input and even if you don't accept the option that they've presented to you, you explain why privately. You win respect and they don't wind up feeling humiliated. Being fair, firm and consistent is also part of the relationship...

Response by SFC Jim Ruether made May 2 at 2017 4:09 PM

SFC Jim Ruether — Tue, 02 May 2017 16:09:07 -0400

I think that Leadership is or can be learned but for most its natural selection and Leadership is a trait in some peoples DNA. I have seen natural born leaders and the self taught leaders but still argue that even those that aren't natural born leaders have some leadership traits inside them they just need to develop it and help it grow.

Never worked for me to be someone's pal or buddy. You lead because others want you too and will follow you. You maintain a separation from your subordinates and can lead them easily. Become their friend or buddy and they will tell you they won't do somethings for you because they feel there is no punishment or consequences for not doing what you told them to do because you are to close.

Parents run into this all the time when they want to be their kids big sister, girlfriend or brother instead of a mom or dad.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made May 14 at 2017 11:28 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 14 May 2017 11:28:52 -0400

The whole military is a relationship! If we don't all work as one we will fall as one!

Response by 1SG Rivera Rivera made May 20 at 2017 11:55 PM

1SG Rivera Rivera — Sat, 20 May 2017 23:55:25 -0400

The type of relationship you have with a soldier will determine your success as a leader. Trust is a very large part of that relationship.

Response by CPT Earl George made May 28 at 2017 9:28 PM

CPT Earl George — Sun, 28 May 2017 21:28:17 -0400

Leadership is the art of influencing people to reach a desired outcome. There is no one way of doing things. the mind should never stop seeking a better way of getting things done. I love to watch how people get things done and the techniques they employ getting there.

Response by SP5 Tony Lobello made May 30 at 2017 9:05 PM

SP5 Tony Lobello — Tue, 30 May 2017 21:05:56 -0400

Leadership is not a relationship of the type that is the result of friendship. There is a camaraderie between leaders and the people they are responsible for but it is one out of necessity. There has to be an understanding of the position that each is in.

Response by PO3 Leesa Duckworth made Jun 5 at 2017 11:50 PM

PO3 Leesa Duckworth — Mon, 05 Jun 2017 23:50:07 -0400

I think she missed the boat here and it feels like she inserted personal bias instead of fact and research. I do agree that there is a relationship involved in leadership; however that relationship is significantly different than she describes.

Response by LTC Robert Wangen made Jun 10 at 2017 4:49 PM

LTC Robert Wangen — Sat, 10 Jun 2017 16:49:34 -0400

Leadership can be defined as the dynamic relationship between those who decide to lead and those who choose to follow. You must understand your people and play to THEIR motivations, because you can't motivate them they must motivate themselves. Once you have decidecided to lead, you must discover what motivates your people and provide them the incentive they are looking for. Then they will choose to follow you.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 20 at 2017 9:47 AM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 20 Jun 2017 09:47:55 -0400

Yes, Leadership is a beautiful relationship between a good leader and subordinate.

Response by PO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 22 at 2017 4:29 PM

PO1 Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 22 Jun 2017 16:29:57 -0400

The top-down leadership style has been challenged for quite a while now in the business world. Military, being one of the oldest organizations in a nation, posts many challenges for the new style of leadership. Also, we sometimes just take orders without asking because of the emergency, need-to-know, etc. Collaboration is not warranted in some cases. I see some changes toward lateral leadership in my command. But I have to admit, old habits die hard. Sometimes, it is just pure laziness. And it irritates me when my subordinates just walk straight to my chiefs and by-pass me. Can I know what is going on too?

Response by MSgt James "Buck" Buchanan made Jun 26 at 2017 10:03 PM

MSgt James "Buck" Buchanan — Mon, 26 Jun 2017 22:03:06 -0400

For me, leadership is similar to the way Mr. Mandela looked at it. With confidence being a prime leadership trait, a leader who is confident will establish a relationship that, through mutual respect and expectations, will allow him to show his "followers" the necessary path to get the job done successfully, then he will move over and encourage them as they move along that path to success on their own.

Response by SPC Byron Skinner made Jun 29 at 2017 9:15 PM

SPC Byron Skinner — Thu, 29 Jun 2017 21:15:20 -0400

Sp4 Byron Skinner. The answer by definition of leader and subordinate say there is definitely a relationship. This is one are when it was much different 50 years ago. There was a defined wall between Officers and NCO and between Officers and the Enlisted. Those lines wet best not crossed. In the real world the Platoon Leader, I assume this question is pointed at the lower ranks of bot enlisted and Officer ranks. Will at some time have to sen men into situations where death or serious wound is not a possibility but a definite likelihood. In a touchy feel platoon the Lt. is likely to sent out the most expendable and the least likable. The Platoon leader who has kept his distance and see his men according to their abilities will be the best he has, he owe's it to the mission. Years later after Vietnam and the officers and enlisted socialize together and people start opening up kit is very clear that this is the toughest decision a your Lt. must make…Buying an officer a beer or picking up a dinner tab for an officer who sent you out on these kinds of missions, at the time seemingly unfairly because you were really one of his better soldiers in the Platoon, after 50 years is a satisfaction that can't be put to words.

Response by SPC Jamie Smith made Jul 2 at 2017 3:42 PM

SPC Jamie Smith — Sun, 02 Jul 2017 15:42:06 -0400

To me, there is a big difference between friendship & respect. I have had officers who I could never be friends with, but have respected them enough to follow them & their orders. On the other hand, I've had friends who I could never follow, because I don't respect their judgement.

Response by PO1 Kevin Dougherty made Jul 3 at 2017 12:01 AM

PO1 Kevin Dougherty — Mon, 03 Jul 2017 00:01:40 -0400

Is leadership a relationship? At least to a degree, yes. You have to know the people under you, just as they need to know you. You have to know the strengths and weakness of those in your charge, in order to maximize the former and strengthen the latter. Likewise, they need to know you and trust you if you are to lead them or sometimes send them into harms way. When I think of the best leaders I served under, the ones I would have followed to hell and back without hesitation, that relationship was always there, and in that relationship I knew they would give their very best for us, and while they might send us in harms way, they would not do it without doing what they could to keep us as safe as we could be. Though there were risks, the risks we necessary and they had done all they could to ensure they were minimized.

Response by TSgt James Lacey made Jul 8 at 2017 4:23 PM

TSgt James Lacey — Sat, 08 Jul 2017 16:23:06 -0400

I am of mixed feelings on this. The Air Force kept trying to say I was a born leader, but I feel it was the training I got that made me a leader. Knowing when to say 'let's do this' or 'you do this I will do that' is not something that comes at birth.

Response by Sgt Wayne Wood made Jul 8 at 2017 6:21 PM

Sgt Wayne Wood — Sat, 08 Jul 2017 18:21:59 -0400

Not sure about leadership... there are rams & sheep... but loyalty & respect is a two way street, and both qualities must be earned.

Response by 1SG Jay Vanderford made Jul 11 at 2017 11:46 AM

1SG Jay Vanderford — Tue, 11 Jul 2017 11:46:29 -0400

I may be a bit archaic but here goes. Leaders are not made, they are developed, from the first I became an NCO I attended NCO development training, normally given by a Senior NCO within the Battery or BN.
It didn't really dawn on me why this training was always considered development until much later in my career, and a talk I had with a CSM. I asked that question and he explained. Soldiers are selected to the promotion board for their potential of becoming NCO's, Leaders. They have displayed the qualities that are required to becoming a Leader. That said, he went on to say that not all Soldiers are leaders, nor can or should they be developed into such, there are professional Soldiers that will remain just that.
I know there will be a lot of you disagree here, especially with automatic promotions, and SP4 Snuffy didn't break a glass in the chow hall lets send him/her to the promotion board. The one question I would ask of my PSGs and that Soldiers Section Chief is this, do you want SP4 Snuffy leading your children into combat? 8 of 10 times they would withdraw their nomination for the promotion board.
I'm truly not sure what a made leader is, a person has it or they don't, there is no room to teach in combat situations, I've seen many killed by inadequate or lack of the skills it takes to lead. I have also replaced leaders in combat environments based on their lack of leadership qualities, a SFC in Iraq comes to mind. He and his 2LT argues constantly, the soldiers lost all respect for him and his LT, the obvious choice was firing the SFC, with 24 years in, he must have slipped through the cracks, because those arguments would never take place between a SFC and second lieutenant, ever. I replaced him with a SSG who took charge and put that PLT back together, born leader, not made.
For companionship between leader and follower, not real sure where that is going, if your followers trust you, and they know you can perform everything they can and then some, leading from the front, they will do anything you ask of them and will always have your 6 as you do them.
The relationship here, as I somewhat eluded to above is the Command team, as a 1SG (ret) I can't tell you how many units I had seen that were ineffective based solely on the relationship between CDR and 1SG.
I had 5 CDRs during my tenure as 1SG, the three year CRT promotion was in effect then, and each one I would tell one simple thing to, we will talk behind closed doors, and when we come out, we are always pointed the same direction, no surprises for you and none for me. Now, We didn't always see eye to eye, but our Soldiers (followers) never knew the difference, and that reflected in their performance.
For example, in my Battery if you used the showers after PT and lived off post, you also participated in clean up, even my Battery Commander would do so, Soldiers felt they were on a real team. The Battery next door had numerous moral issues, one of them was this, all the leadership would shower in the billets, only the Soldiers that live there would clean up afterward, I was asked by the CSM why he had so many request to transfer to my Battery at one point, I declined to answer.
In summery, leaders are borne, and inherit certain morals, values and beliefs growing up that shape their character and core values, we can develop that, its nearly impossible to replace that in someone that doesn't already posses it, and its the NCOs that need to make that choice in who they send to the boards and who they put paperwork in to stop automatic promotions.
A relationship with a follower is a professional one of mutual respect and loyalty, you'll know you have that when they come to you before the IG or someone above you. Command relationship will make or break a unit, if you brief something to Soldiers that your counterpart is hearing for the first time, you're probably a made leader and thats the start of a bad relationship and a failed unit.

Response by CPT Larry Hudson made Jul 11 at 2017 10:30 PM

CPT Larry Hudson — Tue, 11 Jul 2017 22:30:56 -0400

Leadership is instilling in your subordinates, respect, responsibility, accountability and asking or telling them to follow you through hell, and they look forward to the trip. That gentlemen is leadership using "tact."

Response by CPO Glenn Moss made Jul 12 at 2017 3:51 AM

CPO Glenn Moss — Wed, 12 Jul 2017 03:51:21 -0400

Meh. I don't define leadership as a "relationship". Leadership is "holistic".

I've been retired for a number of years now, but I remember a time in the Navy when it seemed that we were getting trained almost annually on some new-fangled leadership style. And the part that irritated me was whatever the latest leadership style was, it was always "the latest and greatest, superseding all that came before".

Perhaps the most hated was TQL (Total Quality Leadership), a blatant copy of TQM (Total Quality Management), a civilian corporate leadership model. Sorry folks...the military isn't a corporate business. When the reactor scrams during the Emergency Flank bell while going deep on a torpedo evasion and you have flooding because of a close aboard explosion, the LAST thing we need to do is gather everybody in the Captain's Ready Room to discuss how we're going to handle the Romulans that are climbing up our *ss.

Oh, wait...did I mix things up there?

The point is leadership is a holistic concept. No one model fits every leadership need. It is perfectly acceptable, indeed necessary, to combine leadership attributes from many different styles and models. Sticking to one invariably leads one to the old adage "When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail". The problem with that is that very often the nail is NOT the reality...and then you fail.

Getting the gang together on base to figure out how to repair some broken/damaged equipment during a work day requires a totally different style of leadership than during the heat of combat when lives, and battles, are at stake. Sometimes leadership involves group brainstorming...sometimes it involves a health dose of "STFU and do your job!"

Response by Sgt Marbury Keys made Jul 13 at 2017 3:54 PM

Sgt Marbury Keys — Thu, 13 Jul 2017 15:54:48 -0400

It is a different type of relationship, that is built on authority, to achieve the mission with success, followed by respect and there loyalty develops.

Response by CW4 Russ Hamilton (Ret) made Jul 15 at 2017 2:47 AM

CW4 Russ Hamilton (Ret) — Sat, 15 Jul 2017 02:47:42 -0400

Good grief. I guess this is to elicit philosophical discussion but you're either a leader or you aren't and it's pretty obvious rather quickly (to me). We all have different styles - that's not the point. The point is moot regarding a "born" or a "made" leader - those are just labels. Soldiers respect and trust you or they don't. The point is will they follow me up the hill while under fire - so far, they always have.

OK, maybe one or two exceptions out of a couple thousand - they were slackers and I called them on it. They were also neer peers.

Response by PO1 William "Chip" Nagel made Jul 15 at 2017 2:58 AM

PO1 William "Chip" Nagel — Sat, 15 Jul 2017 02:58:43 -0400

Leaderships has always be a Vague Concept to Me. If You are Looking for that That Vague Concept, I'm Probably Not the Best Reference Material. I am a Master at Telecommunications, Electronic and Information Warfare, If that is what You think will make You a Leader in My Field? Please Feel Free to Communicate with Me. I Never Have and Never will subscribe to the "Norm" but it You Want to Explore Outside the Norm You might Want to Drop me a Line.

Response by PFC Jerry Yax Jr. made Jul 16 at 2017 1:51 AM

PFC Jerry Yax Jr. — Sun, 16 Jul 2017 01:51:38 -0400

i agree

Response by SGT James Szewczyk made Jul 17 at 2017 8:43 AM

SGT James Szewczyk — Mon, 17 Jul 2017 08:43:17 -0400

Yes indeed and as any other relationship it requires a full time comittment.

Response by SGT John Flint made Jul 18 at 2017 11:42 PM

SGT John Flint — Tue, 18 Jul 2017 23:42:05 -0400

At risk of sounding old fashioned I will put in my two cents
This author sounds like a millennial who wants to make everything a personal relationship and a bonding and love fest
Leadership is about defining roles and responsibilities in the Pack
It is not about how close a relationship you have it's about who does what
You have to care to be a leader if you don't you fail as a leader
But you have to be mindful of developing "relationships"

Response by COL Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 27 at 2017 3:58 PM

COL Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 27 Jul 2017 15:58:51 -0400

COL Burroughs,
Are there some valid points? Of course. Do I agree with the main premise/thesis? Hmmm...not so fast.
I agree it is much easier (and a lot more fun) to lead when everyone plays well with others. And that starts with the culture the leader/leadership instills. But, does the leader micro-manage? demand perfection? have unrealistic demands of performance and productivity? punish mistakes? One can do all these things while being a best buddy with a smile on their face. Worse, someone can be your best buddy with a smile on their face but not enforce any standards, develop anyone, or ensure the mission is accomplished.
I have often said parenthood is the ultimate leadership position. And I certainly want my kids to like me. But it is more important they respect me and learn from me.
Yes, there's a relationship in leadership: leader and led. But it's not horizontal; by definition, the leader has positional authority over the led...also called subordinates.

Response by SPC Brian Stephens made Aug 3 at 2017 2:44 PM

SPC Brian Stephens — Thu, 03 Aug 2017 14:44:09 -0400

Leadership is all about the vision. From grad school, something I have studied and used before we came to this class is a leader has a vision but his leadership communicates that vision so well, others are inspired to take ownership and carry out that vision.

In my first grad school class, Communications & Ethics, we formed a team for a group paper and presentation due at the end of our six-week class. We were five different people from diverse backgrounds, all equal in this group. Since there was no leader, we argued and struggled to come up with a topic. One man, a computer scientist, decided that we would start writing this paper right now on the whiteboard of the classroom we were meeting in. This was bizarre and it failed quickly. Then I came up with a simple solution and proposed: "Hey, guys. What if we chose to write about ourselves? Each of knows somebody who runs a small business. Let us do some primary research and ask our friends and relatives about hiring practices." That was immediately excepted and we came up with small business hiring practices from five different perspectives, including a tax credit for hiring ex-convicts for work on an oil rig to running an Orange Julius stand in a mall to fish farming in the Philippines! By communicating a vision simply and concisely, I helped that group come together in less than an hour and we aced our team project. I led that way for 13 of 15 classes where we researched McDonalds and Wal-Mart and even analyzed Comcast/Xfinity. We slam-dunked and aced every project and I left graduate school with my MBA and a 3.93 GPA (three A-'s).

Leadership is also much more situational than instinctive or born. I argued that Patton's leadership would not have worked in India's quest for freedom from British rule. In the same way, Gandhi's leadership would have failed driving Third Army and other commands across Africa and Itally and from France to Germany to defeat the Nazis. But there are situations unique to each man where a man can rise based on training and instinct and inspire others to act his dream.

Patton was liked by almost nobody. But he was a leadership expert and when he had a chance to lead, he was exceptional.

Response by PO1 Kevin Dougherty made Aug 4 at 2017 12:12 AM

PO1 Kevin Dougherty — Fri, 04 Aug 2017 00:12:19 -0400

Life is relationship, some vertical, some horizontal. If you are significantly higher rank, it by necessity becomes more vertical, even if you are a people person. Serving as an LPO I had frequent interactions formal and informal with the officers above me. Were we friendly? Yes, there were even a few I considered friends and with whom I could and would kid around with at times, but never in public, and never "on the job." I also served with a great bunch of PO-1s and Chiefs where the relationship was definitely horizontal, even familial at times. In relating to those in my charge, things again tended to the vertical, we were friendly, lived worked and laughed together, even played pranks and joked with each other, but they also knew if they needed a butt chewing, they were going to get it, and there would be no jokes, and that "fan room counseling" was not out of the question.

Response by CPT Chris Newport made Aug 5 at 2017 2:47 PM

CPT Chris Newport — Sat, 05 Aug 2017 14:47:38 -0400

agree.

Response by Sgt Heriberto Salinas made Aug 6 at 2017 8:19 PM

Sgt Heriberto Salinas — Sun, 06 Aug 2017 20:19:02 -0400

I like Sgt Kennedys break down on the subject, but one thing is for sure, all of us will have to lead in some capacity in our lives. So, step up and take control.

Response by CAPT Don Bosch, EdD made Aug 11 at 2017 4:54 AM

CAPT Don Bosch, EdD — Fri, 11 Aug 2017 04:54:38 -0400

I love you. You're my best friend. Now, go blow yourself up. Is that what Lewin is proposing?
"I don't give a damn if my men love me, but they'd better respect me." -- Patton
If that's the leadership she's talking about, then ok.

Response by LtCol Robert Quinter made Aug 11 at 2017 9:22 AM

LtCol Robert Quinter — Fri, 11 Aug 2017 09:22:06 -0400

Relationship; yes. Companionship; no. I suppose my concept of leadership would be most comparable to the relationship I had with my father. He cared for me in every area of life, but the relationship didn't become companionship until he approached death. He was my mentor, my teacher, my provider and many other things. He respected my opinion and gave me freedom to develop, but we had separate lives and roles that defined the relationship and gave it more value than I would attribute to a companionship. I totally respected him, appreciated the example he gave me, but also appreciated the fact that he recognized our differences and attempted to influence my style to my advantage. I would do anything for my Marines and that willingness to serve them continues to this day, but being a companion trespasses into personal preferences and emphasis that they deserved the opportunity to develop and enjoy. The line between a professional relationship that includes assuming total responsibility for an individual's well being and a companion is a fine line that I felt needed to be respected.

Response by SSgt James Tadlock made Aug 13 at 2017 2:46 PM

SSgt James Tadlock — Sun, 13 Aug 2017 14:46:38 -0400

Yes. The heat is on the pressure cooker when you accept leadership.

Response by SFC Tony Bennett made Aug 15 at 2017 5:47 PM

SFC Tony Bennett — Tue, 15 Aug 2017 17:47:12 -0400

I fully agree that it is in fact a relationship, Not in the standard fashion. But with good leadership, missions get done with little fanfare. This is because a good leader will be respected and TRUSTED by his subordinates who will be willing to go all out for that leader. It's takes enormous trust to put yourself in harms way following the instructions your leadership.

Response by SGM Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 15 at 2017 6:42 PM

SGM Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 15 Aug 2017 18:42:36 -0400

You know, this topic was something I pondered quite often during my last 3 years -my final assignment. Never really put anything down in words, until now. I was assigned to the Force Management (FM) Division SGM position at Guard Bureau as an AGR T-10. Initially, my COL (Division Chief) and I were going to be a great team. I knew absolutely squat about FM. By regulation, I couldn't even get FM qualified, but he was going to 2028 the reg. He had a lot of spirit and a genuine concern for his people. Both military and civilian. A couple of months later, he was reassigned to the Pentagon. His replacement was a MI COL. My whole world turned upside down. He had nothing but contempt for enlisted Soldiers. He never got the clue that there IS a relationship between a commander and his/her most senior enlisted person. He was above everyone by virtue of his "academic pedigree" and rank. He even treated his LTC branch chiefs like he had no time for them.

I knew things had gotten out of hand when I "needed" to arrange and "appointment" on his calendar to go in and speak to him. He never engaged me. I asked if I could start going to meetings with him- more or less to be relevantly knowledgeable on FM issues. Nope. Fine, I thought, I'll just fill the leadership void in the division that he had created. I became the "fixer". Pay problems, uniform inspections for DA photos and managed many training events (EST2000) for the Soldiers in the G3.....you name it.

Fast forward. His father died, our office manager's mother died, then so did my husband. It was beneath him to even come to my husband's memorial service. Ok fine.

I harken back to stories my uncle, a retired MG, would tell about he and his CSM's hunting trips. Any way you look at it, they were "command team building" events. (No, I never had any thoughts of going hunting with my COL as that was probably beneath him as well). My uncle had absolute respect for his senior enlisted. They were a team. The purest form of a relationship that you can have in the military. They were stewards of their Soldiers.

I always approached my duties with the intent of lightening my boss' load, but that COL didn't have the capacity to delegate. I truly believe, as an enlisted Soldier, that we value officers who we would willingly follow into battle. Any officer who, through professional engagement, knows his/her troops and develops mutual trust. Fortunately, during my last year of service, I did get a new COL who got it.

Don't get me wrong, any of you who know what FM is, knows that it's long, stressful days and in a way, a thankless job. No leader should ever be above building a trusting relationship with their subordinates the way mine was. Perhaps, and I hope not, it was because of his being male and my being female.

Response by SFC Jim Ruether made Aug 16 at 2017 11:46 AM

SFC Jim Ruether — Wed, 16 Aug 2017 11:46:08 -0400

Well it isn't a father/son relationship that's to close. Maybe an Uncle/Nephew or Niece relationship? Man that sounds stupid doesn't it. I believe it's a business relationship. You do what you are told, when you are told to do it, to the very best of your ability. Do this and you will be promoted to a management position. Screw up and its the same process only the other direction. Get to close to your subordinates and they get chummy, expect special treatment, etc.

Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.
-Dwight D. Eisenhower

Response by CW4 Russ Hamilton (Ret) made Aug 16 at 2017 9:47 PM

CW4 Russ Hamilton (Ret) — Wed, 16 Aug 2017 21:47:21 -0400

In a perfect world, farts will smell like fresh roses. I think the issue is "Is the leader an effective leader?" (How do you measure that by the way?) We've all had "leaders", some amazing, some we wanted bad things to happen to... Just because you're a "leader" doesn't mean much more than you're in charge, troops will look to you for "leadership" and if they don't get it they'll go elsewhere (maybe not in your face). I can't count how many Soldiers have come to me behind their CoC's back. Troops have expectations of leaders - leaders have expectations of leaders. Being a "great" leader is a rather subjective thing. For one Soldier, a great leader is someone who asks or requires little and there's no responsibility. For another Soldier, it will be just the opposite. Others need that "vertical" relationship, some the horizontal.

The best leaders in my experience know there's a time and a place for ALL leadership styles: vertical, horizontal, buddy system, democratic, authoritarian, and so on. They have experience not just philosophies, school smarts or hours in the gym (because there's Murphy). Some people simply don't like other people and some are introverts. Companionship simply isn't going to work for everyone. So, I think the author touched on a component of leadership - but she did not define it (for me).

Response by CPT Richard Scott made Aug 27 at 2017 4:07 PM

CPT Richard Scott — Sun, 27 Aug 2017 16:07:48 -0400

I think Sgt Kennedy has it mostly right. Having said that, we all know that when we answer the call of duty to lead, that the importance of our relationships with our team intensifies. Of course there are moments of equality, total candor, etc, but in the end, everybody needs to know who owns the baton at any given time, and act accordingly so that performance is optimized in the cause of the mission. Captain Dick Scott

Response by SGT Winfred Longwith made Sep 7 at 2017 9:53 PM

SGT Winfred Longwith — Thu, 07 Sep 2017 21:53:14 -0400

Yes but a professional relationship only

Response by SSgt Boyd Herrst made Sep 10 at 2017 5:54 PM

SSgt Boyd Herrst — Sun, 10 Sep 2017 17:54:15 -0400

She makes it read like a "social experiment". We do not have time for
Those. I got to jump ahead some because I think this is from the earlier.days of just beginning social experiments in the Military .. go play thar /those games in the Peace Corps and those other civilian volunteer work groups. That's why our Military got all screwed up, because of those stupid games.. it's not "Romper room" where one takes a "time-out". Or is given a 'time-out' .... geez-o-Pete!.. is this the Military or junior rangers?.. time to "buck-up" and "get with the program Troops!"..
Even whenI was in Scouts, we seemed to had it harder than trainees these days had/have it. All our leaders were Veterans, even our newest, who had been gone 3 years and been to some rough places he wasn't allowed to talk about then. He had us come across the street to where he lived and we filled bags of sand and weighed them.. we started with 15 lbs and went from there, every week we added 5 up to the weekend we were going on a hike/campover. By the time that wknd came we'd worked out with 50lbs in our rucksacks. And that's what our gear weighed when we set off.. that was easy.. didn't seem hard at all .. we did a lot of ankle exercises.. nobody had hurt ankles, a little sore, but not bad hurt.
No actual sprains.. We did a November
20 klicker .. He told us to pack some warm stuff.. and it's good we all listened..
we go to the metro park and our site and it got down to 35•F that night.. 3rd day of November. Woke up with a sprinkling of snow.. the day.before had been 60•F.. we did some compass readings .. at different points on the rte. Marked where, noted it and moved on.. We did that compass/ marking on all our hike/camp overs.. I kept that notebook for the longest time.. got home and I'm looking for that rucksack and notebook under the basement steps.. I asked mom if she seen it.. oh yeah.. your little brother dumped your gear out (compass, signal mirror, your little capsule with the flint and steel..). To use for his hockey gear.. where at? Oh, in the trash.. seriously?
She didn't answer for about a half hour..!
At supper she gave me a drawstring sack
With that stuff.. oh.. is this yours also?
She pulled out a first aid kit I had .. regular corpsman's kit like dad had.. I got that with the help of one of the adults in our troop. I had to find a nes placd.. I'll just take it with me. Before I left I dumped brother's hockey gear in his closet in a pile..hockey helmet, shoulder pad, hip pads..socks.. his (yech!) teethguard.. and packed some of my stuff in it..!
Next day I flew back east.. let him have a taste of his own medicine. We didn't talk much after that.. not for a few years..
Only when we absolutely had to.. pass the pepper .. pass the salad dressing..
Why'd you stay out so late, he asked.. you writing a book? Tear out a page in the midle.. call it a mystery. .. I tried to be joking about it..? It seemed hard for him to be jovial.. only When it benefitted him.
I came home one night it was only 2200 and the screen door was locked.. hmm..
I got my garage key and got in there and slept in dad's truck.. living and sharing certain artifacts with my brother is just not the social experiment I'd want to repeat.
As the saying goes: absences make the heart grow fonder...the more absent one of us is, the more fonder I am. I've defended him more than once.. only because he's my brother, that's all..
If I'd had my druthers, I'd of let the other brat beat his arse.. but I'd of never heard
The end of it all to my mother's last dying day and breath.. so Surmise some thing are worth salvage.. even younger brothers.

Response by GySgt Charles O'Connell made Sep 10 at 2017 6:34 PM

GySgt Charles O'Connell — Sun, 10 Sep 2017 18:34:46 -0400

I never viewed my leadership as a relationship, at least not as it's described in the article. I certainly never thought of my Marines as "followers".

Leadership is a responsibility, one that covers many levels. Mission accomplishment, taking care of your Marines, the top two, with the former edging out the latter.

I was not their companion, I was their, "Gunny".

When they screwed up, I took care of them, when they achieved, I took care of them, but I was never their companion, pals they've got, leadership they need.

Response by SSgt James Connolly made Sep 10 at 2017 7:45 PM

SSgt James Connolly — Sun, 10 Sep 2017 19:45:10 -0400

Relationship is a pretty wide swipe of the brush, To a degree I think in a sense that you have to form some sort of communication among the troops you are in command of to build any kind of respect. Any dick head may think he can get respect by what they have on their sleeves or collars.

Response by CMSgt William Reed made Sep 19 at 2017 1:43 PM

CMSgt William Reed — Tue, 19 Sep 2017 13:43:53 -0400

I agree Leadership is a Relationship and there can be a friendship component. But, I must disagree that it is a horizontal relationship - the leadership must be in charge and be the ultimate "arbitrator", that puts the individual "above"(vertically) the team. The leader may have closer relationships with some team members than others, based on personality, common life experiences or other reasons. That is one of the reasons Leadership is difficult. Those "closer" relationships cannot be allowed to interfere with the decision matrix of the Leader However! The ultimate goal is mission accomplishment and if the team doesn't know exactly who is in charge and what the goal is there will be no "mission complete"; except for those rare occurrences(kismet for lack of a better word). To conclude: Leadership is Vertical and will nearly always have a friendship/companionship laterally, but it is the Leader who is responsible for Mission Complete. this applies to the athletic field, boardroom and the military.

Response by CMSgt William Reed made Sep 19 at 2017 1:54 PM

CMSgt William Reed — Tue, 19 Sep 2017 13:54:26 -0400

Yes.,

Response by LCDR Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 20 at 2017 12:13 AM

LCDR Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 20 Sep 2017 00:13:40 -0400

I think good leadership is shown in how much you value your superiors, peers and subordinates as humans. It will be obvious how you treat your troops if you value them. They will understand the relationship as a person even if they don't have a personal relationship as a friend. They will understand that they have value to me and that the hard decision to go in harms way is not made lightly. Thoughtful but not cowardly, fast and firm but not without heart. Our troops see that and understand it. I have never met James Mattis, but I can see his heart and mind are on what is best for the military because his men and women have value. We still have a relationship even though I'll never get the chance to share a cigar and a glass of bourbon with him.

Response by MSgt Daniel Day made Sep 25 at 2017 11:18 AM

MSgt Daniel Day — Mon, 25 Sep 2017 11:18:04 -0400

Even though I agree that a good leader must have a relationship with those they are responsible for, one fact must also be considered. That a leader must be able to make the "hard" decisions without being influenced by "friendly relationships". If those who are subordinate understand and can except that those "in charge" must at times make decisions that are not popular or convenient then life is better. I believe that trust and understanding must go both ways.

Response by CPO Keith Morgan made Oct 5 at 2017 12:53 PM

CPO Keith Morgan — Thu, 05 Oct 2017 12:53:42 -0400

Absolutely,
Any interactions between people is a relationship.

Response by SrA Vern Cox made Oct 5 at 2017 2:25 PM

SrA Vern Cox — Thu, 05 Oct 2017 14:25:34 -0400

That depends. I found it difficult to tell when I was to lighten up, or fall in line while in the Air Force. I always heard that the USAF was a country club from my other buddies (and then there was that "Now this is the real Air Force " thing) leading me to believe that the Air Force couldn't make up its mind whether it was a military organization or not. I was an Army brat whose father retired as a MSgt. I knew how military life was and "Relationships" with leaders should be a guarded one. It's a lot like the other topic about 2nd Lts saluting 1st Lts. Be careful with military bearing.

Response by LTC John Griscom made Oct 8 at 2017 1:13 AM

LTC John Griscom — Sun, 08 Oct 2017 01:13:03 -0400

Good leadership is also a shared relationship. A leader must know the strengths and weaknesses of the organization and this can not be accomplished without input from other members of the group. The final decision will still remain with the leader.

Response by SSG(P) Ell Pizarek made Oct 14 at 2017 10:50 AM

SSG(P) Ell Pizarek — Sat, 14 Oct 2017 10:50:31 -0400

This article couldn't be further from the truth. Friendship is a personal relationship as described by leadership is a professional relationship. A good leader sets the example for others to follow, while a friend will come to a common agreement with his companions. When it comes to making a life and death decision, such as who will unmask first after being exposed to a chemical agent to see if the area is clear, which friend do you tell to take off their mask? Once one friend has to do this, how many more friends do you think you will have in the event you have to travel and retest? Leadership has a relationship of respect and for that reason, if your troops respect your leadership, they will follow even if they don't like you as a friend.

Response by SGM Bill Frazer made Oct 15 at 2017 4:47 PM

SGM Bill Frazer — Sun, 15 Oct 2017 16:47:39 -0400

She has some good points, yes it is a form of relationship, the stronger, smarter leader will make it a relationship and his/her troops will follow them to Hell for ice water. But it can never be a friendship, yet it can be friendly. Can she see friends telling friends- ok you're on point now get us out of this minefield? Or we know the enemy is close by, why don't you meander out there and find them?. Leaders have to make decisions that can and sometimes results in death/maiming of their troops. Since being retired I am more friendly with my former troops, they will call me by the nickname I had in the service or rank. I still call them MY KIDS! A leader has to stand up for and to his troops as well as his chain of command. The bottom line is when a leader gives an order, it is smart and sensible, allowing the troop to carry it out as safely as possible. There is no debate, not enny, minny, moe,, or holding an election.

Response by Nicole Thomas made Oct 15 at 2017 7:07 PM

Nicole Thomas — Sun, 15 Oct 2017 19:07:10 -0400

Leadership without working relationships is tyranny

Response by Robert Collet made Oct 15 at 2017 10:16 PM

Robert Collet — Sun, 15 Oct 2017 22:16:45 -0400

The duty of a leader is to lead by example to set a standard to follow. To work with those you lead to reach higher and attain more. To give those you lead an understanding that they are how we will all succeed and accomplish the goals that are set A good leader will always give the credit for successful outcomes to those they lead.

Response by CDR Dennis Hathaway made Oct 16 at 2017 1:48 PM

CDR Dennis Hathaway — Mon, 16 Oct 2017 13:48:30 -0400

Wow....Made leaders are more effective than born leaders......your proof? That has to be the dumbest statement I’vew ever heard. A leader is equal to the followers? Am I in the twilight zone here? Leadership is always vertical by it’s very nature. Even between two peopl one is a leader and one a follower. Deosn’t make it a bad relationship.....as long as it’s not dictatorial! I continued to read the article....and I don’t buy it.

Response by CDR Dennis Hathaway made Oct 16 at 2017 1:48 PM

CDR Dennis Hathaway — Mon, 16 Oct 2017 13:48:51 -0400

Response by LTC Thomas Tennant made Oct 20 at 2017 1:38 PM

LTC Thomas Tennant — Fri, 20 Oct 2017 13:38:27 -0400

COL Mikel Burroughs... Leadership is all about relationships. That was the first lesson I learned as a SP4 tank driver. Later as I progressed to TC, it was the relationships I had with the crew that got us to move and shoot as a team.

As a newly minted Infantry LT, I had an even steeper learning curve because what I got away with as an E5 was no longer appropriate...the senior noncoms kept me from the self inflicted wounds but not all of them. A leader has to know "his lane" but he/she has to become a known quantity to those being lead. They have to know that you are at least trying to live the Army Values and a trustworthy warrior at heart. Part of that relationship starts with the leader knowing and caring about the health and welfare of those under them. The leader also has to find ways to focus everyone on the mission and that can only come from the relationships developed in training.

What the uninitiated missed in the "Band Of Brothers" is that LT Winters trained closely with his platoon and knew each man's strengths and weaknesses. When they ran, he ran. He exercised with his men every time they did. In so doing Winters was instilling by his example discipline and setting standards. They saw him as human but someone they could respect, particularly when compared to CPT Sobal who almost never trained with his unit. When Sobal did train it was because he was forced to and his weaknesses were magnified...map reading being one of them. Had he developed some solid relationships with his men, they may have overlooked some of his flaws and found ways to support him. But being the prick he was....they made their concerns on his competency well known.

Response by SrA Vern Cox made Oct 21 at 2017 9:19 AM

SrA Vern Cox — Sat, 21 Oct 2017 09:19:06 -0400

Both: Each Squadron/Company has an identity all of its own and is determined by the Commander. It's always silently established and must be respected while maintaining Command Structure. The best leadership ability can actually draw a silent affection that causes your men to follow you into Hell.

Response by MSgt Thomas Mason made Oct 30 at 2017 10:33 AM

MSgt Thomas Mason — Mon, 30 Oct 2017 10:33:04 -0400

A great commander/leader uses the best possible resources at hand to accomplish the mission without surrendering his/he status as the leader. When the mission is accomplished it's time to pass credit to those who have assisted, and again without surrendering his/her status as the leader. THAT'S A GREAT TEAM! 2ND Lieutenants in particular learn this, or they fail!

Response by CAPT Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 6 at 2017 10:40 AM

CAPT Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 06 Nov 2017 10:40:29 -0500

Agree and disagree. I do believe having a "relationship" with your subordinates makes the "leadership" stuff easier. However, "bonds of friendship" are not what makes the relationship. The basis of the relationship needs to be trust. The subordinates need to be able to trust that the leader has the best interests of the mission at heart and a sound reasoning behind whatever plan the leader has for accomplishing the mission (Since you need people to accomplish the mission you should keep in mind what impact the plan has on your people.). The leader has to be able to trust that the subordinates will carry out the plan as directed and to provide appropriate feedback as necessary.

We can rely upon the basic military dynamic when there isn't time to build that trust, but when there is time it is in everyone's best interest to do so.

Response by MSgt Gary Miller made Nov 10 at 2017 3:42 PM

MSgt Gary Miller — Fri, 10 Nov 2017 15:42:51 -0500

I agree with the article. When leaders take the time to form a relationship with their subordinates then the mission gets accomplished at a higher level. This is because the subordinate form a deep respect for the leader and are more willing to go the extra mile when asked.

Leaders who don't take the time to form a relationship with subordinates while they may get the mission accomplished it's due to force and sense of duty from the subordinates not because they are willing to follow him.

Response by SFC Greg Witte made Nov 12 at 2017 5:05 PM

SFC Greg Witte — Sun, 12 Nov 2017 17:05:17 -0500

I disagree with the first statement that there are "born leaders." Nobody comes out of the womb a leader. A leader is the product of a multitude of encounters and experiences from other leaders and peers alike. I feel that a relationship of trust is at the heart of the development process because it enables both the leader and the subordinate to take things to the next level. In the end, you feel and believe that what you have been ordered or what you are ordering is what is rite. And if isn't rite, you have the courage to do what is rite.

Response by CPT Dennis Stevenson made Nov 14 at 2017 11:36 AM

CPT Dennis Stevenson — Tue, 14 Nov 2017 11:36:15 -0500

I think this simplifies the issue too much.; "relationship" requires you to name the objects involved. The relationship she refers to is one between two people and that's really complicated. Not the least aspect is the personality of the two people. For example, I'm an introvert and certain ideas, actions, and approaches are not available to me naturally - I had to learn how to do certain things I hated doing. My job as a leader is to figure out your `personality'. That is our relationship: how you see me and how I see you. Relationship is far more complicated than it appears. Same's true as my role with my superiors and peers. If you don't believe me, push one of your spouse's buttons :-)

Response by SPC David Willis made Nov 14 at 2017 4:01 PM

SPC David Willis — Tue, 14 Nov 2017 16:01:30 -0500

Absolutely, the fastest way to become an ineffective leader is to make your soldiers resent you and not want to fight for you. The best officers/SNCOs I had protected us lower enlisted guys from all sorts of BS or at the very least acknowledged that what we were doing was in fact BS. They would fight for us when it came time for promotions or take heat away from us. In return we all held ourselves to a higher standard because of how it reflected on them. Now in no way did this make them soft leaders, in fact they were some of the sharpest, roughest, direct most hard nosed leaders we had but they were fair and fair is everything when it comes to leadership. If they knew a detail was BS they'd be there (not doing the work mind you) making sure we were good and didn't need anything as well shooting the breeze. On the flip side leaders who only looked out for themselves had that attitude trickle down the ranks and it was a much more selfish atmosphere and things just didn't work as well.

Response by LT John Stevens made Nov 17 at 2017 8:57 AM

LT John Stevens — Fri, 17 Nov 2017 08:57:55 -0500

I have to say that there are many good ideas here about what leadership is or is not. The things is however, that leadership is many things and changes depending on the circumstances.

Certainly leadership is a relationship; but that does not necessarily mean it is a friendship. Leadership requires a relationship of mutual respect. The leader must respect those he or she leads and must work hard to earn their respect in return. Additionally, the leader must have true empathy for his followers and the difficulties and challenges they face.

Leadership also is ownership and accountability because the leader must be accountable not only for his or her own actions, but also for the decisions made and directions or orders given.

Leadership is recognizing the value of subordinates, their knowledge, and their inputs.

Finally, but not necessarily the only other attribute of leadership, the leader must be willing and able to take swift and decisive action without all of the facts, without higher level consultation or approval, and accepting the risk of making a wrong decision, when a decision is needed.

Response by 1stSgt Mack Housman made Nov 18 at 2017 12:47 PM

1stSgt Mack Housman — Sat, 18 Nov 2017 12:47:20 -0500

The majority is true. However I disagree with the statement that eludes to "made leaders being better than born leaders". Regardless of "born" or "made", both have to continually be cultivated to remain effective!

Response by SSG Buddy Kemper made Nov 28 at 2017 8:24 AM

SSG Buddy Kemper — Tue, 28 Nov 2017 08:24:55 -0500

Leadership is love. You can't fake it. If you are only out for yourself, you'll fall eventually. Ya can't fool Joe.....at least not for very long. If you go 10 years or 20 years or whatever and never loved your guys, the job or the Soldier life, ya lost. Doesn't matter how much rank you achieve, ya have to love to lead. I miss my guys and the feeling we were making a difference. Very interesting question and I look forward to all the responses. Hooah. AIRBORNE!

Response by SP5 Jeannie Carle made Nov 29 at 2017 12:47 AM

SP5 Jeannie Carle — Wed, 29 Nov 2017 00:47:07 -0500

Before I read ANY of the comments, I am going to risk putting my feet (plural) in my mouth up to my..... I have to disagree with the "relationship" theory when it involves equality and "friendship". When I made E-5 I was placed ahead of (above) people I had worked side-by-side with for 4 years. THEY tried very hard to take advantage of the previous "friendship" thinking that things would stay the same, when they could NOT. I was responsible for their work/actions, I was no longer their "friend" or "equal". Things got rough. Teasing about some things was no longer acceptable. Doing their best to shuffle their work off on me (because I was better at it - and faster) was no longer acceptable - I had no time for all that any more. I was NOT puffing my ego - things had simply changed. Shortly thereafter I drew my assignment to So Korea, thank God. It was explained to me by my NCOIC that THAT is why we are reassigned when we make NCO. Things cannot, cannot, stay the same. You have past "relationships" with these people as your peers and co-workers and friends that just can't stay the same in the work environment. I believe, altho I've never been there, that in a combat situation, "friendship" with your subordinates can create a WHOLE lot of serious problems. You can be on a "friendly basis" - but you risk a lot by trying to protect your "friend". And as I discovered, that friendship can get thrown in your face. Off work - friends - in the work environment - subordinates. Period. YOU are in charge, YOU are responsible - you have to be just that. Just my opinion from only a little experience.

Response by LTJG Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 29 at 2017 9:04 AM

LTJG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 29 Nov 2017 09:04:12 -0500

This question has a multitude of answers. At its core, leadership is a type of relationship. In order to be an effective leader you need to have a professional personal relationship with your people. What i mean is that you need to care about your peole like your father/mother cares about you. Praise them for what they do right and adjust them when they do something wrong (in the proper setting of course).

Response by CW2 Tyson Parker made Nov 29 at 2017 9:10 AM

CW2 Tyson Parker — Wed, 29 Nov 2017 09:10:58 -0500

It has to be a relationship. One that is willing to comprise and do what is best for the mission/task at hand. A true leader can accept recommendations from otgers to aid in decision making. The relationship formed between the commander and their staff is the quintessential difference between success and failure.

Response by SGT Morrison (Mike) Hogwood made Nov 29 at 2017 12:21 PM

SGT Morrison (Mike) Hogwood — Wed, 29 Nov 2017 12:21:31 -0500

i believe that it is a relationship,but there has to trust and understanding of who is who in that relationship. I've seen relationships blown because they did not understand where their responsibility of leadership is taken to far as to impede on the others leadership responsibility there are responsibilities that every leader should take charge of,but to overstep your bounds without communication from the other.

Response by SP5 Billy Mullins made Dec 5 at 2017 10:35 AM

SP5 Billy Mullins — Tue, 05 Dec 2017 10:35:42 -0500

I agree with MSG Lynette, S. Stewardship is the key to leadership. We must remain humble when we set about to lead others. Keeping in mind our responsibility to serve and protect those we lead.

Response by Sgt Martin Querin made Dec 6 at 2017 2:19 PM

Sgt Martin Querin — Wed, 06 Dec 2017 14:19:57 -0500

COL Mikel J. Burroughs There are many forms of leadership (authority, or the ability to influence).
Author and researcher Max Weber divided legitimate authority into three types:
• The first type discussed by Weber is Rational-legal authority. ...
• The second type of authority is Traditional authority, which derives
from long-established customs, habits and social structures. ...
• The third form of authority is Charismatic authority.
Michael Holland defines 5 leadership types
As a leader, you have authority over critical resources. What’s the basis
of that authority? Generally, authority could be defined as: the power, the
right, the clout to influence people and get them to do what you want and
need them to. But in active leadership we can delineate that definition a
bit further. Here are several types of authority that can be leveraged.
• Legal – based on the ability to influence others based on your official
authority and position.
• Expert – based on the ability to influence others based on your knowledge
and expertise
• Reverent – based on the ability to influence others based on your behavior,
manner and approach
• Reward – based on the ability to influence others by giving or withholding
rewards
• Punitive – based on the ability to influence others by imposing a penalty for
fault, offense or violation.
Most leaders start with a legal, or traditional authority. Good leaders will hold onto these forms, but quickly and purposefully move to both "Expert" and "Reverent" (or relational) forms of leadership. They may at times employ rewards to reinforce appropriate behaviors; but only very weak leaders have to rely on the Legal, Reward, or Punitive forms of leadership for very long. If they are employing these three forms exclusively they are not really leaders in a formal sense, they are dictators, or despots.
As far as equality, that's a nice thought for a culture that tries to do everything it can to avoid the perception of "discrimination"; but in fact we discriminate every day, it is a natural part of life. I choose to drive the car I want, eat the food I like, hang out where I want and enjoy the activities I choose. This is all discriminating, simply a word that means choosing between options and valuing one more than another.
People are not all equal, kindergarteners know this without being taught. We train them out of the natural gift we were given to protect us from annihilation; to discriminate between safe and unsafe, good and bad, etc. A leader must identify and relate to those they lead and every great leader will value the opinions of all, as Jack Welch says in his book "Winning" (2005), getting "Every Brain in the Game". But any leader that does not differentiate...discriminate, is not a great leader; some people have better natural skills and abilities at different things. I want to put people in a place to succeed, rather than just randomly give them a job and set them up to fail.
Her article while it does contain some basis in truth, is idealistic and silly.

Response by CWO3 Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 6 at 2017 3:04 PM

CWO3 Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 06 Dec 2017 15:04:07 -0500

Whether authoritarian or democratic leadership is in place, it still ultimately requires a "buy-in" by subordinates. They have to believe and understand the order. The level of zeal on their part depends on how well it is communicated and whether they believe their leader is committed to accomplishment. I always preferred having people working with me than working for me. It was always better as a follower if your leader knew you were working with them as well. Once that bond of trust was earned it prevailed, and made life easier. Either way, we were ultimately responsible for success. People that work with you are on patrol on your behalf, rather than allowing you to walk into an ambush. Trust is probably the most important element toward them working with you. That relationship takes time, patience, and actions on your part that demonstrate your commitment, but people are your most valuable and precious assets. Communication is possibly next in importance. You have to talk to each member in the language they best understand. They are all different and if you expect to reach them, you have to speak their individual language. Some prefer short bullets, others need more information. Unless you can be everywhere at once, your unit mission depends on them, so they are not a sideline but the main ingredient. They are worth the effort and deserve it.

Response by SSgt Boyd Herrst made Dec 6 at 2017 8:41 PM

SSgt Boyd Herrst — Wed, 06 Dec 2017 20:41:16 -0500

A lot of liberal feel-good-in-the-tummy
Hokey pokey.. it’s definitely not like that in the Military.. Obama tried that social engjneering and our Military is getting back on ir’s Feet finally.. I’m glad I didn’t have to put up with his game playing..,if he’d of had more time hd’d Of had our troops siging ‘round camp fires singing kumbaya... Ian’s his fave “I’d like to teach the world to sing”... sure glad that’s over...

Response by Dennis Aubuchon made Dec 10 at 2017 11:03 PM

Dennis Aubuchon — Sun, 10 Dec 2017 23:03:18 -0500

I totally agree that leadership is a relationship of sorts. There needs to be honest communication between individuals and leaders. It can be a working relationship rather than a combative relationship. Leaders come in all types and backgrounds we as individuals must look at the qualities of the leaders we see and work with each day and they must look at the individuals with whom they work with or come in contact with. It would be a better world if leaders and those whom they are over to some extent could work together for the common good especially in a work environment.

Response by SFC Ralph E Kelley made Jan 4 at 2018 8:33 AM

SFC Ralph E Kelley — Thu, 04 Jan 2018 08:33:03 -0500

Any small group of people - regardless of rank or level in the command will build 'relationships' among themselves. A leader who knows this will foster good relationships between and among his people. To do otherwise is to lessen his leadership.

Response by SFC Frederick Roquemore made Jan 4 at 2018 11:52 AM

SFC Frederick Roquemore — Thu, 04 Jan 2018 11:52:54 -0500

A good leader is not in competition with his followers. I agree that leadership is more about a companionship than simply holding a position over someone. Followers are not motivated to respect a leader who is not approachable.

Response by SGM Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 4 at 2018 6:15 PM

SGM Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 04 Jan 2018 18:15:20 -0500

I agree 100% thank Leadership is a Relationship, point blank!

Response by CWO2 James Mathews made Jan 11 at 2018 5:09 PM

CWO2 James Mathews — Thu, 11 Jan 2018 17:09:24 -0500

In my experience Leadership is a very tricky thing. Some people seem to have it installed, other have to learn it through painful ecperience. Still others never learn it. On occasion leadership is forced upon one in other cass there is a long preparation for it. In either case the real aspect of what it is comes as a surprise to many. Leadership is a Relationship, that is trur, but that relationship is also tempered with the knowledge that the holder of that leadership is being relied upon to make the final and right decision, and that decision is NOT a a democratic one! Leadership is Consideration for your comrades to the extent allowable by the situation, Leadership is the Ability to see th right course of action. Leadership is tha Support of your comrades to Higher authority. Leadership is the choice between Right and Wrong as you see it. Leadership is Fairness toward all for the group, regardless of differences between individuals. I am not skilled at phychology, so I do not have all the right words, and I have probably left out some important points, which my more experienced comrades will be glad to point out later. Howe, when you combine all these aspects into one, and apply it to a serious problem, demanding immediate solution, or desaster looms on the horizon, then Leadership becomes much much, more than a simple Relationship, it demands the right action, at the right time, for the right reason, overall and the prervation, as well as support of your comrades and, the rightness of the decision. To me that means signifigant attention to your situation, knowledge of what is going one, technical knowledge of what can and can't be done, and the capability to do what is necessary for both you and your comrades. Now to me, that is a load, that is a difficult one to bear in a constant application, regardless of what anyone says. I have been there, I know, and at the very , very least, I was fully imprssed!!

MasterCPO TM(SS)(permanent), Chief Warrant Officer(temp.) -- Command Duty Officer, Underway Officer of the Deck., and Division Officer James L. Mathews

Response by SGT Mark Stevens made Jan 22 at 2018 5:26 PM

SGT Mark Stevens — Mon, 22 Jan 2018 17:26:22 -0500

Leaders need to lead but the true measure of a leader is shown in their ability to mentor and follow.

Response by PO3 Phyllis Maynard made Jan 24 at 2018 3:56 AM

PO3 Phyllis Maynard — Wed, 24 Jan 2018 03:56:53 -0500

I may be a bit military rusty with this, but I will keep it simple. For the most part I disagree with the author in the fashion this is written. A Leader is responsible at the end of the day. A Leader will foster camaradrie and uphold the line that does not cross over into friendship or buddy buddy. When a Leader is respected a friend under his command will not put him or her in the position to pull rank that will and should end a friendship in order to keep the integrity of the position showed up. A good Leader is like a parent. A good parent keeps balance (parenting is hard and this statement is the ideal Utopia) by trying to never lose sight that they are the parent for life not a friend or buddy. It is hard but we have to balance becoming friendly-parents keeping the parental role in tact, thereby, keeping the line of respect intact. It is tricky and certainly more complicated, but the same can be for a Leader who is responsible for the role of leadership, morale, getting the job done, and sending everybody home in one piece. I have seen this horizontal leadership relationship completely go south. Once a leader equates himself with those he commands he becomes one-of-the-many and no longer the ONE who is responsible for leading the many. Leadership is a vertical (top/down relationship), it keeps order. A horizontal relationship, a marriage if you will, equates sleeping together, embracing, and too much accessible personal space to lead effectively.
Remember the term 'power couple' used for married people or those in committed relationships who were high end professionals working together? It did not always make for a happy, successful, and fidel marriage or love relationship. One or the other did suffer. In cases, separation or divorce occurred and the individuals found others to fulfil one role not both. COL Mikel J. Burroughs I look forward to your comment.

Response by SN Glen Hapeman made Jan 27 at 2018 8:47 PM

SN Glen Hapeman — Sat, 27 Jan 2018 20:47:10 -0500

Leadership is a position that one should seek respect that to be feared.. there's room for a friendship/ relationship off the clock

Response by SSG John Eroh made Jan 27 at 2018 9:48 PM

SSG John Eroh — Sat, 27 Jan 2018 21:48:21 -0500

At my last fixed microwave station in Korea I believe we were able to maintain the lowest outage rates in the company because I had developed a relationship with my soldiers with trust both ways. A lot of time was spent training them to do their jobs better and in return they also helped another Army unit with their VHF site as well as the Koreans with theirs. I would ask their opinion but I was the one who made the decisions except for their work schedule which I thought was a tough schedule but that's what they wanted so I let them and they were happy with it. Letting them have that schedule rather than forcing them to work a schedule I thought easier on them paid off in the long run. I also developed a relationship with the other leaders on the site. After returning from stateside leave, my CO told me he was moving me to another site. A Army Major, Air Force LTC and a Korean Colonel all called my Capt. to tell him I was staying there because of all the help my men and I had been to the rest of the station. I was also appointed the MARS Station Chief which I enjoyed as a SSG E-6 I got to tell officers what to do. But relationships and their trust in me knowing more than they did about communications helped there. I should say that there were about 60 of us Americans in the middle of a Korean Air Force station and the E-Club was the social hub for everybody but when it came to operations there was no doubt who was in charge. As the M/W Station Chief, my room was in the BOQ.

Response by SSG Shawn Mcfadden made Feb 4 at 2018 6:51 AM

SSG Shawn Mcfadden — Sun, 04 Feb 2018 06:51:25 -0500

The Army defines Leadership as the process of influencing others in accomplishing the mission by providing purpose, direction, and motivation.Over a period of time, this can lead to respect and camaraderie, if that's the relationship the question is asking.

Response by A1C Lexas Granger made Feb 20 at 2018 6:22 AM

A1C Lexas Granger — Tue, 20 Feb 2018 06:22:12 -0500

I saw a picture where it showed men working for the guy behind the desk, and cracking a whip. The other was a group of men who were doing the same job, but the man shown as the boss led the men and said "Follow me."

Which would you follow? Which would you half ass your job for.

Response by LTC Jack Regan made Feb 24 at 2018 10:45 PM

LTC Jack Regan — Sat, 24 Feb 2018 22:45:18 -0500

YES, it is a very personal relationship. Aspiring leaders must keep one important principle in mind. Every person in your command is a hero to somebody, parents, sisters, brothers, wives, husbands, children. Belittle that and they will never forgive you. That does not mean an ass chewing is appropriate from time to time but you can even do that with respect. Treat them with that respect in mind; they have individual lives, dreams, goals, and personal problems. Take the time and get to know it. A leader's job is to inspire people to do the right thing. In my experience as a battery, company, and battalion commander this has always worked - and made my life a lot easier.

Response by Sgt Vance Bonds made Mar 4 at 2018 5:40 PM

Sgt Vance Bonds — Sun, 04 Mar 2018 17:40:05 -0500

Need to think on this

Response by MSG John Duchesneau made Mar 4 at 2018 11:40 PM

MSG John Duchesneau — Sun, 04 Mar 2018 23:40:11 -0500

I think it is a relationship - with responsibilities to the other on both sides.

Response by SSG Harry Outcalt made May 14 at 2018 9:54 PM

SSG Harry Outcalt — Mon, 14 May 2018 21:54:05 -0400

Wow !!!! Leadership is your ability to make those who follow you look dang good doing it , and those who follow use their combined abilities to make you in turn look good leading , so it's a give and take relationship

Response by SFC David Reid, M.S, PHR, SHRM-CP, DTM made Aug 4 at 2019 5:04 PM

SFC David Reid, M.S, PHR, SHRM-CP, DTM — Sun, 04 Aug 2019 17:04:32 -0400

Agree

Response by SFC David Reid, M.S, PHR, SHRM-CP, DTM made Aug 4 at 2019 5:06 PM

SFC David Reid, M.S, PHR, SHRM-CP, DTM — Sun, 04 Aug 2019 17:06:14 -0400

You always need a relationship and commonality.

Response by SFC David Reid, M.S, PHR, SHRM-CP, DTM made Aug 4 at 2019 5:07 PM

SFC David Reid, M.S, PHR, SHRM-CP, DTM — Sun, 04 Aug 2019 17:07:43 -0400

You also need to establish a rapport with you lead and work for!