Do you ever have flashbacks? What steps do you take to cope with them? Do you avoid your triggers?

2017-04-12T21:07:05-04:00

Service members on PatientsLikeMe have discussed how disruptive flashbacks can be in daily life. What's it been like for you?

Response by SFC Joe S. Davis Jr., MSM, DSL made Apr 12 at 2017 9:11 PM

2017-04-12T21:11:27-04:00

SN Vivien Roman-Hampton great read and share, I go to therapy and cut down on the stress. CPT PTSD therapy helps also.

Response by MSgt Steven Holt, NRP, CCEMT-P made Apr 12 at 2017 9:51 PM

2017-04-12T21:51:10-04:00

In the past couple years, I've only had one or two "flashback" instances. Talking with my therapist and my wife (not the same person! lol) help. Taking the motorcycle out on a long easy cruise around the area helps as well. It's amazing what a little time a way in the fresh air and sunshine can accomplish.

Response by PVT Mark Brown made Apr 12 at 2017 10:23 PM

2017-04-12T22:23:33-04:00

I do have flashbacks but only occasionally. I have had a couple out in the park in back of my house that really sacred the crap out of me. For a few moments it was a real as it was when it happened for real. They always leave me shaking. I have talked to other guys about them. It was the nightmares that bothered me more than anything. The nightmare are totally different than flashbacks, at least that has been my experience. I put up with these episodes for many years before seeking help. It took a suicide attempt that finally brought me to my knees and to the VA mental health department. It was a very quick diagnosis of PTS and then the pills, the f***ing pills. I hated the pills, I still hate them. I took the pills for several years and finally decided to take myself off of them all and I can't tell you how much better I feel, I am human once again. Don't take this as a recommendation by any means, this is just what my experience was. The mental health doctors were really pissed when I admitted to them I had stopped being a zombie. I don't know what you spiritual journey has been, but getting involved with other veterans at church and getting down to brass tacks helped a lot. I also went to Mighty Oaks Warriors Program ( http://www.mightyoaksprograms.org/ ) one year ago this month. It was a very intense 6 day program that did me wonders, in fact, it still does. They have terrific after care programs. For the first few years after I came home I self medicated with anything I could get my hands on. Then, 15 Sep 1985 I knew I had enough and with the help of God and AA & NA I have been clean and sober ever since. That made it even worse doing all those drugs the VA wanted me to take. At one point I was up to 8 different drugs - what a waste of my life that was.

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Response by COL Charles Williams made Apr 13 at 2017 12:00 AM

2017-04-13T00:00:53-04:00

SN Vivien Roman-Hampton Yes, but overtime... they are less frequent. Yes, I try to avoid triggers... But, for a long time, I did not really know the triggers...

Response by SSG Edward Tilton made Apr 13 at 2017 12:56 AM

2017-04-13T00:56:17-04:00

My Comfort Zone is being in my Army Uniform, leading my men. An Artillery Battalion or a 4.2in Mortar Platoon, it didn't matter. The VA rated me with PTSD but the Army was still denying it existed. Drill weekends in the Reserves became my refuge. There were times that I was back in Vietnam, much to the shock of those around me. My behavior was really erratic at times. I got onto Active Duty for an AGR Tour. By the end of that the Army was convinced I was nuts and put me on disability retirement. I still live near a base and go there almost daily.

Response by CSM Charles Hayden made Apr 13 at 2017 1:12 AM

2017-04-13T01:12:38-04:00

SN Vivien Roman-Hampton My problem is dreaming about not having the proper uniform at hand. Having an ACU Patrol Cap in my closet w/ name tape and rank has eased that problem.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 13 at 2017 8:28 AM

2017-04-13T08:28:39-04:00

I don't flash back when conscious, but my subconscious will run amok at times, replaying situations over and over with different choices and outcomes. This winds up leaving me sleep-deprived, and manifests in some of the more commonplace symptoms after a particularly bad spate.
What was the worst for me was not having anyone that could relate to what I had been through. The unit I had deployed with was out of California, and my home unit had a much less hostile environment. I couldn't talk to my wife; all it did was scare her and make her worry. For years it ran me.
Finally, I found my zen in fishing. Man vs fish, a cold beverage, and peace on the lake.
I still face challenges in crowds and noisy places. I don't like fireworks anymore. Stress from day to day requires continuous effort to manage and handle. But my kids keep things in perspective and my wings level.

Response by SFC William Stephens A. Jr., 3 MSM, JSCM made Apr 13 at 2017 9:12 AM

2017-04-13T09:12:40-04:00

I have PTSD, I used to write a lot of poetry but where did that get me, piles of papers which now I'm turning in to a book called "THE MIRROR" When I was at the WTU I was with guys who's only thing was KILL, I learned we are always going to have flashbacks, best thing is to tell the story someone will listen to you. My daily life is like a mirror and maybe yours is too. When you go through intensive counseling like I did and different medications a like a crash test dummy in a car testing facility, you start to learn the secret fast and sometime you can't do anything but walk away. TIME is what we all need.

Response by SGT Philip Roncari made Apr 13 at 2017 10:34 AM

2017-04-13T10:34:32-04:00

I can't really say that my flashbacks are disruptive too many years have passed I guess,but sometimes the smell of wood smoke will trigger memories of Vietnamese villages,and not to be not politically correct, but if I overhear Vietnamese spoken I become very aware of their presence,too many night ambush patrols on that one.

Response by PO2 Rev. Frederick C. Mullis, AFI, CFM made Apr 13 at 2017 11:19 AM

2017-04-13T11:19:15-04:00

I have only had one, and that was when I realized I had PTSD. It was at a Welcome Home Celebration and I came face to face with an NVA helmet. I had seen hundreds of pictures of them but never actually been face to face with one since the end. It was freaky, I remembered the last time I saw one, and I went to pieces as it came back to me. I found myself against a wall in a pile in tears. My wife was looking at me, not knowing what to do, a few of my friends were looking at me understanding what was happening. I eventually pulled myself together, I went back to the display, and asked to see the helmet again, it had been put away, I stood there for 15 or 20 minutes, with my wife beside me, as I faced my demon, I held the cross I always wear, and I prayed as I reached out to touch what could not hurt me. Br the Grace of GOD, I defeated that demon. I remember that day vividly, as well as many of the other things that have built upon that first situation. They no longer frighten me, I no longer run from them I know how to cope. Sometimes its tears sometimes its laughter. All the stressors including that first have combined to make me the man I am today.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 13 at 2017 11:27 AM

2017-04-13T11:27:07-04:00

Initially when I returned from Iraq in early 2008, I was not aware of PTSD symptoms. In fact it was almost a year after I returned that I had to get counseling - my wife gave me an ultimatum "get help or I'm leaving". My initial reasons were anger issues. My first Flashback was a fireworks display I went to. Freaky! After I started counseling at the VA I learned what my triggers were and to this day I avoid them like the plague. Sometimes, however I have no control over events, and when that happens, I force myself to endure. My safe place is my home among the forest which surrounds my home. When I'm in my woods I feel secure. I avoid crowds, and loud noises. I meditate to slow my heartbeat when I can, and I stopped taking all those mess the VA gave me for angsiety (spell?).

Response by MCPO Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 14 at 2017 11:31 PM

2017-04-14T23:31:57-04:00

From time to time, I'll have flashbacks, but they are rare.
Triggers include unexpected whiffs of diesel exhaust, or the smell of burned meat (grilling is horrible!). I was involved in the recovery of TWA-800 in 1996 and was on Coast Guard small boats picking up bodies - stacking them like so much cord wood on the fantail of our 41' boats - which are/were notorious for venting the exhaust onto the fantail. When I smell it when I don't expect it, I immediately spin around to see how many bodies are stacked nearby.

I just pay close attention to my surroundings, and know that if a semi goes by, I'll probably smell diesel exhaust... it works almost all the time. As for burning flesh, not much I can do, other than keep my own grill clean and babysit stuff I cook so it doesn't burn.

Response by SGT Drew Clark made Apr 15 at 2017 9:28 PM

2017-04-15T21:28:17-04:00

I often have Flashbacks and Dream all the time Canibus is my method and a visit to the VA on occasions

Response by MSgt Mark Bucher made Apr 29 at 2017 1:35 PM

2017-04-29T13:35:42-04:00

I had a few within a year of retiring. 12 years later, I don't have flashbacks, but still have the nightmares. Talking with a few Vietnam vets, they tell me they don't ever stop, just become more infrequent

Response by SSG Jack Jurgensen made Jul 11 at 2019 6:09 AM

2019-07-11T06:09:54-04:00

Flashbacks, yeah I can't sleep when it's dark out. I wake up to my TOP screaming for me. I fall asleep waiting for appointments.and most of all I miss my Army Family.

Response by SGT Bruce Siefers made Jul 16 at 2019 1:50 AM

2019-07-16T01:50:38-04:00

I have them on a regular bases, can be many times a day. Worse now that I am retired. Try to keep my mind busy to help to avoid them. Was at Tan Son Nhut during TET. Fire works are bad for me.
Do not like forth of July. Have had this for forty years and didn't know about PTSD until one of the guys from my unit told me that I had PTSD and that I needed to see a psychologist and insisted that I did. That was about four years ago. Saw a non VA one for half a year then went to a VA one for a little over a year. I've never remembered having any kind of dreams, so no memory of nightmares. VA psychologist said that the way I had been coping with it was most likely the best thing for me to do. Very difficult to talk to anyone about TET. The treatment I got from this country for many years was worse than being in Nam! That DID NOT help! Flash backs started about six months after I returned from Nam. Two years in Nam as a army spec5 followed by three years as a civilian contractor for the Department of the Army.