Do you find it difficult to communicate with your civillian counterparts after leaving the Military? If so how do you handle it?

2015-06-15T17:14:34-04:00

Response by SFC Joe S. Davis Jr., MSM, DSL made Jun 15 at 2015 5:17 PM

2015-06-15T17:17:59-04:00

I find it difficult because of the camaraderie. Not all , but from what I can see teamwork is hard to come by. Everybody mostly thinks individualism on my job. Wow it's a different world outside the military.

Response by LTC(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 15 at 2015 5:18 PM

2015-06-15T17:18:40-04:00

Yes, my first civilian job I got in trouble within the first few weeks for speaking my mind to a fellow employee. You have to dial it back and I hate to say it you have to be careful of who you trust. Some people will stab you in the back in a second most civilians are not very confrontational.

Response by Capt Seid Waddell made Jun 15 at 2015 5:18 PM

2015-06-15T17:18:52-04:00

Never had a problem. I tried to lead by example and wasn't too worried about what others thought.

In my experience the work was the thing. The only thing.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 15 at 2015 5:19 PM

2015-06-15T17:19:25-04:00

No. With colleagues in the medical industry, once you learned to avoid all of the common acronyms that are military specific, it was very enjoyable to hear about each other's capabilities and experiences. I had a LOT of trouble convincing employers regarding my experiences, however. I never did overcome it, I think. I'm not really in the field I was originally aiming for.

Response by SrA Edward Vong made Jun 15 at 2015 5:21 PM

2015-06-15T17:21:28-04:00

Not difficult at all. I can turn on and off my military mode. In fact in someways, I find communicating with civilians somewhat easier.

Response by SPC David S. made Jun 15 at 2015 5:25 PM

2015-06-15T17:25:27-04:00

Civilians will never understand the military. Its much easy to adjust to the civilian way of communicating than to get them to do it the right way.

Response by Steve C. made Jun 15 at 2015 6:16 PM

2015-06-15T18:16:03-04:00

I'm a civilian without prior Military affiliation (besides family and friends). I've encountered several reintegrating past military personnel who undoubtly experience dissapointment as an effect of what I'd characterize as a "lack or absense of synergy". Maybe I am sensitive to this orientation because I often feel the same thing. I personally love working with ex_military because I find many individuals who have a sense of something bigger than themselves.

Response by SSG James Yellis made Jun 15 at 2015 6:32 PM

2015-06-15T18:32:52-04:00

Yes, I find myself using Military lingo when talking to my class mates. It hard but I have to focus on the way I talk/

Response by TSgt David L. made Jun 15 at 2015 6:59 PM

2015-06-15T18:59:57-04:00

I think the hardest part other than communicating without using the alphabet soup is dealing on an inter-personal level. Even at home I always had a habit of barking orders and not getting back talk in return. That and not expecting an immediate response or action to a "request". Once you get used to asking folks to do things in their way and time frame life is good. LOL

Response by PO1 John Miller made Jun 15 at 2015 7:56 PM

2015-06-15T19:56:57-04:00

Yes I do!!! I "handle" it by communicating with civilians as little as possible, LOL. Luckily I work for a military contractor where all my co-workers are vets and our customer is military.

Response by PVT Angelo Velez made Jun 15 at 2015 9:29 PM

2015-06-15T21:29:08-04:00

I kind of find it already difficult to communicate with my civilian counterparts. For me, I have not even left the military, I rather just started in the Army NG and I am only 3 months in and just graduated from high school May 31st. Basically every civilian I know does not know ANYTHING about the military. When I tell my friends I'm going to drill next weekend or something, they say oh you have basic training next weekend. It just frustrates me and the way I deal with it is that I ignore it now. I've even said that it is drill to correct them and after I correct them, they still say I have basic training next weekend. Sorry if this does not answer your question but I've been wanting to say this for awhile. Also, a family friend said I'm a veteran now after I joined when I was only a month in and haven't gone to a single drill.

Response by SGT Richard H. made Jun 15 at 2015 11:04 PM

2015-06-15T23:04:34-04:00

I find that people come to respect Military candor when it's presented in a way they can understand and in a way that doesn't hurt their delicate little feelings.

Response by SSG (ret) William Martin made Jun 15 at 2015 11:13 PM

2015-06-15T23:13:13-04:00

I was out of the Army from 04" to 07". I found out that people are ass holes whether they are in the military or not. I don't blindly trust anyone either. I am very cautious of people who seem to be overly polite or nice. One thing that seems to be different is that if there is a team with a mission, it should matter if the team members are black, white, Asian, or gay. Maybe people hide it better in the military. There seems to be a lot more racist, bigots, and sexists people in the civilian sector.

Response by SSG Roger Ayscue made Jun 15 at 2015 11:49 PM

2015-06-15T23:49:19-04:00

Most of my friends are Cops, Veterans or some type of First Responders. I find that it is easier for me to communicate with someone that has had to be in a position where SOMETHING THAT MATTERS will occur. I have developed the ability, as you need to, to not just look at the armchair commando and say "You either served or you did not, if you did who with and if you did not who gives a shit why you did not."
You will also have to learn to choke down the urge to loose your bearing when some random civilian tries to tell you that they were in ROTC and it was not for them, OR that they ALMOST joined AND all the recruiters were arguing over them because they had the highest test scores ever recorded on the ASVAB but that they decided being the assistant manager at Frosty Cream was a better alternative.
You should also learn to be diplomatic when they see that you are an Army Vet and they ask if you knew their Uncle Fester who was in the military, and most likely in the Navy, but isn't that the same thing.

It is better to just hang with vets

Response by MSgt Keith Hebert made Jun 15 at 2015 11:55 PM

2015-06-15T23:55:45-04:00

Yes I still do even though I have been guard most of my career and retired for over 3.

Response by SFC Collin McMillion made Jun 16 at 2015 10:19 PM

2015-06-16T22:19:34-04:00

Depends on the circumstance to me. If yhey know and understand more than me, I listen, if they don't, then I just hope to hell they will listen to me.

Response by Ronin Czapla made Jun 29 at 2015 11:20 PM

2015-06-29T23:20:40-04:00

I adapt, overcome, and try to let them understand my point of view, it's a game of listing and to humble yourself from their point of view while keeping your integrity and pride.

Response by Maj Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 11 at 2015 10:09 PM

2015-12-11T22:09:12-05:00

Most ex or retired military personnel fit in quite well; however, I had some bad experiences with employees who forgot they were no longer in the military. I had one close acquaintance who told me he quickly learned you couldn't use the F word during staff meetings. I spent 15 years in a corporation and I will tell you that it's all politics and influencing people without letting them know.

Response by 1stSgt Eugene Harless made Dec 14 at 2015 3:51 AM

2015-12-14T03:51:25-05:00

I used to love saying something to co-workers and letting them walk around all day wondering what I meant.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 3 at 2016 11:39 PM

2016-10-03T23:39:15-04:00

Better question: how do you marry someone with PTSD?

Response by Lester Deane made Jan 14 at 2017 4:19 PM

2017-01-14T16:19:59-05:00

My first how where I had authority after the police department they couldn't handle direct orders. They wanted some sugar coating with it.

Response by Cynthia Hunter made Mar 20 at 2017 10:16 PM

2017-03-20T22:16:45-04:00

As a civilian that grew up having two military parents, a brother that served, and working with a few vets, I have come to the conclusion that for the most part they are easier to deal with because there is no sugar coated bs. And for the most part they don't get offended as easily over stupid little crap that doesn't really matter.

Response by M U made Apr 14 at 2017 5:51 PM

2017-04-14T17:51:41-04:00

maybe everyones different
i guess time heals everything? idk like u cant throw everyone under the same boat? u know. depends on the person. its that way with everything in life though, but you knew that.. i thnk.. maybe.. jk dont know u so.. shouldnt make assumptions. i talk a lot dont i.

Response by LCpl Edward Higgins made Apr 17 at 2017 12:28 PM

2017-04-17T12:28:07-04:00

I had a tendency to share my thoughts at my current, and first civilian job. I have learned over the last 4 years, trust no one. Most of the vets I have worked with are able to deal with the transition more easily than myself. I have had multiple conversations with my management about how the other employees feel about my direct approach. It has been nearly 4 years and I wish I was able to get back in uniform.

It's no joke out here in the civilian world. If you are like me, and have a VERY dark sense of humor, with a bit of unfiltered speech, fix yourself - NOW! Small habits like avoiding swear words, at the very least, will take you farther and earn you more respect.

Response by Andrew Campbell made May 26 at 2017 3:38 AM

2017-05-26T03:38:50-04:00

Yes, I am ex solider from UK. Typically our humour is very "non-PC". Civvies just dont get it, there are even differences between the services.

Response by Andrew Campbell made May 26 at 2017 3:40 AM

2017-05-26T03:40:31-04:00

Oh, how do I cope? I only truly relax with other ex soldiers or people with similar ideals.

Response by Richard Spreitzer made Feb 3 at 2018 9:55 PM

2018-02-03T21:55:30-05:00

I have prior military experience and as an engineer help those that transition from the service to the civilian life. The two are different in the way that that each operates. However my group or unit still has to perform. We choose to do so as a group with each doing their particular task. By using this philosophy when we get a military person it makes it easier for the transition.

Response by Emily Howard made May 24 at 2018 7:50 AM

2018-05-24T07:50:25-04:00

Nice

Response by Bill Gratton made Jun 25 at 2020 2:34 AM

2020-06-25T02:34:08-04:00

It's hard to communicate with your civilian counterparts after leaving the Military.
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Response by SGT Steve Hines-Saich B.S. M.S. Cybersecurity made Jul 16 at 2020 7:04 AM

2020-07-16T07:04:37-04:00

I’ve noticed that it’s hard to get civilians in a team mindset. Many times but not all there is a what’s in it for me attitude.

Response by Alex Manfield made May 12 at 2021 11:54 PM

2021-05-12T23:54:43-04:00

at times