Do you handle rejection well and do you think it's a factor in successful civilian careers?

2015-04-28T10:24:47-04:00

Response by LTC Stephen F. made Apr 28 at 2015 10:30 AM

2015-04-28T10:30:06-04:00

Handling rejection at work is difficult for me; but, much easier than handling rejection in my personal life.
Being able to have your ideas rejected or strongly questions without affecting your ability to perform is a useful skill in both the military and corporate work environments.
Personally I handle rejection much better than I used to.

Response by Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS made Apr 28 at 2015 10:35 AM

2015-04-28T10:35:13-04:00

The thing about rejection is figuring out why if you can.

Sometimes it's not about you, it's about them.

You may be a good candidate, however they may need a candidate who has a different skill set. If they are already strong in the things you are strong at, it can be overkill. They may need an Operations instead of an Admin. They may need a Black Hat to their White Hat. Sometimes it's about price. Rejection isn't always personal. Sometimes it's just needs based. Sometimes it's square peg, round hole.

There's nothing inherently wrong with rejection. Nothing wrong with saying "I'm not right for this organization." Like working with most tools..."Don't force it. You'll hurt yourself, or break the tool."

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 28 at 2015 10:38 AM

2015-04-28T10:38:10-04:00

LCpl Brett McMeans : Increasingly poorly, I find. I've not had the success in civilian life I would have hoped. The most discouraging factor to me was how detrimental being in the National Guard really was. Perhaps to some job fields in some areas it's seen as an advantage. But in my experience, the little bit of time I take off is seen as a huge detriment and inconvenience to my current to whomever my current employer was. My current employers were very understanding, but I've also discharged from the armed services, so it is no longer an issue.

Not to mention the reactions I now get when I tell me I'm no longer with the military; that I've honorably discharge upon completion of my original contract. They act like something's wrong with me. I know it cost me at least one job. But what one rejection among 100?

Time to get my ass in school. But ain't nobody got time for that. Very discouraging.

I know, wah wah wah. Poor me. I don't feel sorry for myself, nor do I mean to make excuses for myself. But to answer your question: I don't feel like I'm retaining my ability to handle rejection like the army taught me, mostly because I was a good soldier, and rejection in the military usually just meant the mission changed, not "how the F*** am I going to pay rent". And I have learned better actions and activities that improve my chances, lessons learned from failure. Rejection may be decent education, but I'd rather just have the paycheck.

Edit: re-reading this post, I feel i should re-emphasize that my current employers listed on my profile are very supportive and understanding.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 28 at 2015 10:38 AM

2015-04-28T10:38:13-04:00

Rejection gives incite that can only be seen by rejection. Do better, work harder. But try and find out how you can be better.

Response by CAPT Kevin B. made Apr 28 at 2015 12:38 PM

2015-04-28T12:38:41-04:00

The tough ones are when you know in your soul you did the right thing only to see it take years for your strongest detractors to find out; and then they still don't let go, because to do so, they would have to admit fault. All while the Flags and SESers wash their hands of it.

Moral of the story: You're in charge of your own feelings. You'll feel better when you consider some of the sources.

I had a counselor for several years help me through a mixture of crap, a hunk military related. He'd always say "What is the Universe trying to teach you?" Focusing on that many times helped me improve, have a better perspective, and care more. There's no magic pill, but we truly are more in charge of ourselves than we're willing to admit many times.

Response by SFC Dennis Yancy made Apr 28 at 2015 1:37 PM

2015-04-28T13:37:20-04:00

Rejection is a part of life. How you deal with rejection helps define your character. Adapt and overcome.

Response by CCMSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 28 at 2015 1:57 PM

2015-04-28T13:57:26-04:00

I read this long ago: service members don't see the glass as half full OR half empty...they ask, "how can I fill the cup." This is the one mindset that we have as a culture that is lacking in industry. If you keep that in mind, then you'll learn to look at rejection as just delayed success.

Response by Capt Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 28 at 2015 5:17 PM

2015-04-28T17:17:30-04:00

Well, I interviewed for a job. Talked to the hiring manager then went back to the corporate office. I was asked how I thought the interview went. I Replied, you tell me the decision was made before that interview.

Well, you were the only one being interviewed. Take what time you have left to look over the area and scout some housing. We will call you Friday.

Friday came and went and on Monday PM I called and asked what happened. I was told, Oh you came in 4th. Fourth out on one. Now that was rejection.

Response by PO2 Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 28 at 2015 6:08 PM

2015-04-28T18:08:38-04:00

It makes you a better persob when you learn to handle no. Jumoing uo and down and trying to circumvent some to get your way is not the way to do it. Learn about why you was rejected. Go back later after you improve if you want it that bad.

Response by SGT Anthony Rossi made Apr 28 at 2015 6:20 PM

2015-04-28T18:20:36-04:00

Some one once told me: "You can't make everyone happy, so just make sure the people you are trying to make happy are worth it."

Response by LCpl Brett McMeans made Apr 28 at 2015 6:33 PM

2015-04-28T18:33:24-04:00

Read this the other day -

Make a list of the most successful and accomplished people you know. Seriously, take a moment to think of 3-5 people you have had personal contact with who are well-established in their careers.

Now, make a list of the most intelligent and talented folks you know.

Are the two lists identical? I bet anything that they’re not.

Many of the most successful individuals in the world are not necessarily the smartest or most talented. Good news because after all, we don’t have much control over the smarts or talent we were born with. So what can we control? Determination...

One of the most consistent findings in the sport psychology literature is the connection between self-confidence and success. Self-confidence all by itself ain’t going to win you an audition or automatically get you the career of your dreams. Inevitably, success requires doing something.

"Determination" - The inability to process the word NO

There are legions of successful individuals who failed not just once or twice, but repeatedly before eventually making it big.

- Charles Schultz (Peanuts) had every cartoon he submitted rejected by his high school yearbook staff.

- J.K. Rowling’s first Harry Potter manuscript was rejected by 12 publishing houses.

- Gone With the Wind was rejected by 38 publishers.

- Legend has it that Walt Disney was turned down 302 times before finally getting financing for his dream of creating Walt Disney World.

- It’s also been said that KFC founder Colonel Sanders was rejected 1009 times before finding a taker for his chicken recipe.

The world of sales is a great place to study the value of persistence. It’s been said that 20% of salespeople make 80% of the money (Pareto). The exact figures vary, but research suggests that you have to make at least 5 (Higher) attempts to sell something before most customers will go ahead with the purchase. Despite this, 44% of salespeople give up after the first “no”, 22% after the second “no,” and 14% after the third. In other words, 80% of salespeople fail because they take “no” for an answer too readily.

You’d think that IQ would be related to professional success but studies suggest that the average correlation between IQ and one’s job performance is between .2 and .3 (where .1 means there is virtually no relationship, and .9 indicates an extremely strong relationship).

Learn from each rejection and/or failure and learn your weaknesses and strengthen them over and over again. Use rejections to fuel your determination and eventually all your goals will be within your reach.

One Sentence Summary: "Fall down 7 times - Get up 8"

Ref - Dr. Noa Kageyama

Response by LCpl Brett McMeans made Apr 29 at 2015 6:54 PM

2015-04-29T18:54:18-04:00

Must read...

Response by PO2 Private RallyPoint Member made May 2 at 2015 2:15 AM

2015-05-02T02:15:40-04:00

your parents told you no and you did not die from it. accept it and learn for it. ask why you said "no". then inspire to grow and teach others to learn from no to get better and hearing "yes".