Do you have any Funny Interpretations/Application of Army Regulations?

2014-09-23T19:40:49-04:00

Have a funny interpretation or application of Army Regulations?

(I'm sure that not every regulatory base is covered in the ocean of wild possibilities within our ranks.)

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 23 at 2014 7:46 PM

2014-09-23T19:46:37-04:00

According to AR 670-1...
Only females can wear a black, unmarked (logo-free) purse in uniform. But it doesn't say I (male Soldier) can't walk around post with a bright fuchsia clutch in my hand while in uniform.

If my hands are cold, it doesn't say where else I CAN'T put my hands to warm them up (as long as it doesn't involve contact with someone else).

Response by PO1 Pete Sikes made Oct 30 at 2016 11:55 AM

2016-10-30T11:55:12-04:00

Much like Article 134, there is probably a catch-all clause somewhere in the 'fine print'...

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 21 at 2017 10:26 PM

2017-02-21T22:26:17-05:00

Things like that are in what I like to call pandoras box... I don't open that box and I advise others to do the same... Should you do it don't complain when the storm of fuck fuck games rains down on you...

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 22 at 2017 5:11 PM

2017-02-22T17:11:10-05:00

The catch all FYI is your command or commander. The AR is there the commander can not take any part away from that however he or she can add to it. I would refer you to your unit SOP.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 22 at 2017 5:13 PM

2017-02-22T17:13:49-05:00

The regulations are not for the individual soldier to interpret!

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 22 at 2017 5:15 PM

2017-02-22T17:15:19-05:00

The unit SOP can cover any so called loopholes in regulation

Response by SFC Casey O'Mally made Feb 22 at 2017 6:29 PM

2017-02-22T18:29:18-05:00

When saluting an officer, you are required to give "the greeting of the day." You'd be surprised how rare it is that the "greeting of the day" is officially stated - it is not stated in any army level regulation that I have found. Units can have local SOPs, but I have found that most do not have anything in writing. And THAT is where the fun can begin.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 22 at 2017 8:09 PM

2017-02-22T20:09:08-05:00

One I came up with. Regs say I can't put my hands in my pockets for warmth. Nothing says I can't reach down and grab my balls for warmth.

Response by PO2 Eric Weber made Feb 23 at 2017 1:00 AM

2017-02-23T01:00:16-05:00

Jesus people, its about the humor of a different perspective. Jerry Seinfeld? Dave Chappelle? Yea they do that same stuff and make millions. AAFES must not sell a sense of humor. Life is too short to live with a rod up your ass.

Response by SGT Kyle Houseright made Feb 23 at 2017 8:12 AM

2017-02-23T08:12:04-05:00

Some of you have the personality of a rock. This was all in good fun. Not an NCOES class or something. Loosen up a bit. It's the internet. It won't kill you.

Response by PV2 Benjamin Niles made Feb 23 at 2017 9:42 AM

2017-02-23T09:42:17-05:00

Can't put your hands in your pockets. But You can put them in your battle buddys pockets

Response by SGT Michael Bryers made Feb 23 at 2017 10:37 AM

2017-02-23T10:37:35-05:00

We always had fresh lt's yelling at us for "ranger rolling" our PC's. All it states in there is that you can't block your cover. They'd make us take it off and slap it on our leg and put it back on.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 23 at 2017 1:31 PM

2017-02-23T13:31:28-05:00

Always rolled my PC, and the only time I've been told anything about it was by some 101st SSG who was so ate the fuck up that all I said was "noted" and carried the fuck on about my day

Response by 1LT Erin Berg made Feb 23 at 2017 2:42 PM

2017-02-23T14:42:05-05:00

Most of you people need a sense of humor. This is a what if? kind of question to have a little fun with.

Response by CW3 Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 23 at 2017 2:44 PM

2017-02-23T14:44:45-05:00

Back when I was an active duty PFC, I read the regulation on leaves and passes, and it seemed to not prohibit me from taking 3 day pass midweek (Tues-Thurs). So I did. My at-the-time SGM got so butthurt about it, he filled out a DA 2028, and sent it in, and they changed that!

I've heard, since I left active duty, that they changed it back though :(

Response by SPC Saundra Teater made Feb 23 at 2017 10:31 PM

2017-02-23T22:31:13-05:00

When I first arrived at my PDS I immediately understood when they started their newbie games. I was given an order to find a box of grid squares and not return until I found them. I had family in every branch. I got what they were doing. So I decided to follow orders. I walked around a bit, asked a few. Left there, visited supply clerk. And since I could not find any, I decided to look downtown in all the shops. I also searched my room, and did an intensive search in my bed. Never found a box of grid squares. But I did find an awesome place to shop. And they never caught what I did.

Response by CWO4 Tim Hecht made Feb 24 at 2017 2:25 AM

2017-02-24T02:25:29-05:00

You all should ask a certain Active Duty Sgt. (I worked with his father with Customs and know the Sgt. well) about a new to the unit SgtMaj, the Sgt's boots, and the Sgt (and SgtMaj's) Colonel! Upon return to the States the new to the unit Sargent Major took offense with the "combat boots" the Sargent was wearing. So much so he was in the process of lighting up the Sargent and when the Colonel (whom the Sargent was the Colonel's and the old Sargent Major's MRAP Driver on deployment. When the Sargent Major mentioned to the Colonel that the Sargent's boots were not Army Regulation boots the Colonel looked at the Sargent Major, pointed to the boots he was wearing (same as the Sargent's boots) and said do you mean these boots...that I authorized my soldiers to wear?

Did I tell it right Allan?

Response by MAJ Luca Luca made Feb 24 at 2017 7:51 AM

2017-02-24T07:51:26-05:00

Everything about the Army is a loop hole. Think about this. You better render a salute to a superior officer, well except for in country. You better never have your hands in your pockets, well, why have so many? Ever been to Northern Edge? The grumpy Top has his hands in there too. In country, they are filled with all types of goodies you need ostw. The greatest loopholes are the ones set up by the local Sheriff (CO, Big Daddy, Post Commander, local Crime bosses) who send out regs Bly applicable to the command area they are given. For example. I once had a Bat Cat have a stand order that no one was to walk around with holding a cigarette and coffee mug. You could be in transit from the mess to your destination, coffee maker to office, but not perpetually in motion like 90℅ of the NCOs back in the day were. It was his thing. He didn't like people having objects in their hands. For two years, the Top was an irritated guy.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 24 at 2017 9:40 AM

2017-02-24T09:40:52-05:00

I was once having a snarky day as a private and decided to skip for the last half mile of the PT run, oddly enough I think the longer stride of me skipping vs, running actually helped my time improve. One of the NCO'S said I had to run, but he couldn't find a reg that said I absolutely HAD to run and couldn't skip

Response by MAJ Glenn Lasater made Feb 24 at 2017 4:07 PM

2017-02-24T16:07:45-05:00

Way back in the day (shortly after retiring the horse cavalry) I was assigned to the US Army Signal School at Fort Gordon, GA where the post Command Sergeant Major was obsessed with the uniform regs. One of his pet peeves was soldiers putting their hands in their pockets when the Georgia weather turned a little chillier than usual. He implemented the Post Courtesy Patrol with SNCO's posted at the Commissary, PX, and other gathering places to "write up" troops noted violating the uniform regs.

At one point, the CSM decided that the best way to keep the troops from putting their hands in their pockets was a post reg that required wearing of the gloves with wool inserts when wearing the field jacket. If you were caught wearing a field jacket without gloves with wool inserts you were to be "written up." These CP write ups were collected by the CSM and them sent down the chain of command for a reply by endorsement on each and every one; a colossal waste of time and effort.

I was a captain at the time and I recruited another young captain to accompany me to the PX. We donned our field jackets and gloves with wool inserts and went to the PX where we proceeded to put our gloved hands in our pockets and walk around outside the PX waiting for the CP to notice us. We approached two different CP's of two SNCO's each and although they noticed us, they ignored our rampant disregard for the uniform regs. We actually stopped one of the CP's and asked if they were going to write us up. The SFC looked at two captains standing there with their gloved hands in their pockets, shook his head, asked us if we were Mustangs and, upon receiving an affirmative answer, smirked and asked us why we were giving him shit. We all laughed and agreed that the entire CP program was a pain in the ass and that all of us had much better things to do with our time.

I guess the story was spread around because the other captain and I were always greeted warmly whenever we encountered a CP. It should be noted that the gloves with wool inserts policy was dropped within three or four months.

Response by SSgt Boyd Herrst made Feb 24 at 2017 6:26 PM

2017-02-24T18:26:13-05:00

Although not a Soldier, I was an A1C at Cook/Baker School at Fort Lee, VA. The meals that weekend were at C Co. Mess facility just across from our barracks. We did not have to cross no street, just walk from our building go along the walk and 5 minutes later we were at C Co. Mess facility. We were lined up at rest waiting to go in and a SFC asked where were our safety wrist cuffs and flashlights were. I was leader that morn'g of our group and I told him our building was just across the yard, no streets to cross. Just fall in outside and route step up the walk and here we are. He wanted my name and class # and other pertinent information.
Which I gave him. While I was doing tha at I motioned for my group to file on in, which they did. I finished and he told me
To go ahead.. Monday I checked the board to see if my class standing had slipped.. nothing. On Tue. I checked again.. still nothing. Later I got called in
And the Cmdr. of our detachment asked me what happened when I was approached by the SFC. I told him why we didn't have our safety cuffs and lights.
And he said it was unacceptable.. Nobody in our flight had any intention of going to the exchange until later, so we didn't take them. He smiled, and nodded his head and dismissed me.
He submitted the action taken; no administrative action necessary.. He told me be careful and he'd keep an eye to see if they messed with my standing. At that time I was leading our flight in points and
Our Army Classmates in total points...
So I noticed they were all engaged in extra-curricular duties, for the third time that week and they weren't at the px snack bar putting beers down.. I asked their leader why they weren't at the pic Andre told me they would NOT be participating in the usual entertainment until their points Met or exceeded mine..
Oh wow, I was the new standard for points, I was impressed.. I had to get back and crack the books, and get my fellow classmates doing the same.. so we could maintain the lead, which we did after the
Weekly test. We weren't letting up ! And of course we made sure we had our safety cuffs and lights so that SFC wouldn't frich with us..

Response by PO2 Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 24 at 2017 6:56 PM

2017-02-24T18:56:06-05:00

Im in the Navy, and one day, while stationed in Japan, I had shore patrol. I was in a group with a senior chief. While me and the senior were walking around, I had a question regarding leave. I asked "if we put in leave, we can't leave our leave residence between 0000-0500, but I can drink during those time in my 'place of residence', correct?" He replied, "that's right." I retorted with "what if my leave address is a night club that didn't close until 0500?" He looks over at me and his jaw dropped as he said "you just broke the system."

Response by A1C Justin Domoleczny made Feb 24 at 2017 7:53 PM

2017-02-24T19:53:42-05:00

My favorite was when the Air Force got rid of regulations. They became instructions. The stated reason was something to the affect of allowing more interpretation. It was like "Ok, Instrad of having regulations, we'll give instructions to our Airmen, who are mostly guys and always folllow instructions to the letter. Then we'll say it is so they have more leeway. That will work." Guys never follow instructions. I remember one of my friends asking "Did they just tell me these new instructions are optional?" If i remember right, it was during what I consider a low point in the Air Force when McPeek was the Chief of Staff and the uniforms were change and looked like airline pilots, our base commander had fense removed cecause it made it seemed like we were trying to seperate ourselves from the neighboring communities, and lots of other stupids things like that to trying to appear less like part of the military.

As far as fun with the regs and instructions, my favorite was hearing people make comments about boots not being polished enough or uniforms ironed and starched. I liked piinting out that if they checked it just said they had to be clean and in good repair and actually polishing your boots and starching your BDU's would make you show up better on thermal gear.

Response by TSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 24 at 2017 8:18 PM

2017-02-24T20:18:15-05:00

So not an Army one, but an AF one. When green jungle boots were phased out in favor of black, the AFI, had a line that read along the lines of "...may be worn until no longer serviceable" I had multiple pairs, including a waffle re-sole. I was able to wear them for years by rotating them, and even had a copy of the AFI page in my pocket for just in case. (up until the next publishing that eliminated that exception, but well after the intended phase out date) I had a Major try and call me out in a group of people, he was less than impressed when I was able to cite the AFI line by line, when he tried to pull a "well when I was at XYZ, they told us otherwise, so you are wrong" I showed him the copy of the page out of the AFI, highlighted. Everyone else was impressed....

mk

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 25 at 2017 5:39 PM

2017-02-25T17:39:29-05:00

To express frustration with the requirement to wear a PT belt at all times on our compound in Bahrain, I carefully combed through AR 670-1 to find out what counts as a "reflective belt", and determined that it didn't specify anything on color. So I promptly went out and bought this ridiculous, fruity-looking, bright ass tie-dye PT belt. One other soldier bought a neon reflective pink PT belt for himself, and we would cheerfully walk to the chow hall together, flaunting our stupid ass PT belts.

I don't think this even lasted a month before the 1SG put out a directive that all PT belts must be yellow, red, or orange.

Response by SGT Patrick Gaebelein made Feb 25 at 2017 5:52 PM

2017-02-25T17:52:12-05:00

At my last unit, I was the hq platoon sergeant in an infantry company. The company commander locked everyone in the unit down, not allowing anyone to be released to go home until the person responsible for damaging ceiling tiles that were adjacent to one of the offices stepped forward. I was called into his office. His was a very decent guy, great officer and leader (he now commands a brigade in the 82nd) "Sgt Gaebelein did you damage the ceiling tiles?" I was there in the office, so was the 1SG.. "No Sir." "do you know who did?" "no sir." "Very well, you can leave." So I spoke up, "sir, may I speak openly" He says "you may" So, "sir are you planning to punish the soldier who damaged the tiles?" he indicated he was "Sir, the company's being released is dependent upon someone compromising their rights against self incrimination under Art 31 of the uniform code of military justice." He looks at me (a West Point Grad) and says "come again?" "Sir, a soldier has the right not incriminate himself. We would only be released if he incriminated himself." "who is saying this Sgt Gaebelein?" at this point, I did not want to label myself as the barracks lawyer, but that's what I was, I insinuated that that was the word going around the company to save face. He knew it was me talking. A sergeant is supposed to give advise especially to areas officers are typically ignorant on, like the UCMJ. "while I appreciate your frankness, I will handle this matter as I see fit." "yes, sir." I saluted and left. I heard murmurs as the 1sg talked to him. I imagine he told him I was right. what I do know is two minutes later everyone was sent home. At another duty station, I also helped a guy get off on being drunk for movement by arguing that he was not read his rights prior to questioning, and that a 2nd lieutenants nose was not a calibrated instrument that could determine blood alcohol content, and they did not measure his BAC at all. I went to JAG with the guy, spoke to his lawyer, the lawyer verified everything and JAG threw the charges out. I did that mostly because it was a BS unit and i honestly felt of they couldnt do things right theybhad no right to call someone out.

Response by PO1 Tony Holland made Feb 26 at 2017 1:38 AM

2017-02-26T01:38:23-05:00

Shouldn't he be wearing matching mini-chemstick earrings as well... and day-glo mittens?

Response by CPL Jason Lee made Feb 26 at 2017 2:54 PM

2017-02-26T14:54:11-05:00

When my daughter was in AIT she told me she was having a hard time with her sit-ups. I told her to try placing only her heels on the ground and not her whole foot. She increased her reps by almost 30. During her PT test a DI would not count her sit-ups because he said her feet had to remain flat on the ground. Since is was in the Army I had already prepared her for what was to follow. She stated "Drill Sargeant, FM 21-20 states, a soldiers heels must maintain contact with the ground when performing a sit-up or the repetition does not count" your foot does not have to remain flat on the ground. The battalion SGM happened to hear her at the time and replied with "Drill Sargeant the soldier is 100% correct and you will see me after the APFT". she told me that, that DI did not conduct the APFT test afterwards. She was exceeding the male minimum standards on her APFTs which I believe made him dislike her scores to begin with. On her final APFT she missed getting her APFT badge by 1 point.

Response by PFC Kimberly Gendron made Feb 27 at 2017 5:48 AM

2017-02-27T05:48:33-05:00

Not sure it's really a loophole...but while I was in I changed my hair color like every month. All sorts of shades of red, blonde, and brown. It annoyed the shit out of my chain of command. But they couldn't do anything about it cause regs state you're allowed to dye your hair as long as its a natural color but says nothing about the frequency in which you dye your hair.

Response by SGT Gordon Revels made Feb 27 at 2017 1:51 PM

2017-02-27T13:51:00-05:00

Our platoon was getting ready to go do some training and this was the first time out with our brand new LT. The LT decided to give the safety brief the day before at end of business. The LT told the platoon to attach white engineer tape and mark it with anything that can kill you. One of the squad leaders tried to correct the LT by asking if the LT meant things a soldier might be allergic to and the LT stated no, things that will kill you. The following morning as we were getting ready for formation I noticed a soldier waddling from the barracks covered in white from head to toe. He had so many pieces of engineer tape on his body he looked like the Stay Puff marshmallow man. I approached him trying to figure out what the hell he was wearing and as soon as I seen what he did I could not help but laugh my ass off. I had tears streaming down my face because that soldier did EXACTLY what the LT told him to do. He had to have at least 100 pieces of tape with things like "sharks", "car accident", "heart disease", "falling", "not wearing a seatbelt" all over his body. The LT was about to chew the soldier until we explained the soldier did exactly what the LT asked for.

Response by SGT Brandon Pugh made Mar 1 at 2017 7:55 AM

2017-03-01T07:55:40-05:00

Had a guy we called Kenya in boot camp that had the fastest 2 mile until we realized he wasn't wearing shoes. He claimed they hurt his feet. Drill SGT made him put socks and shoes on his hands to take the pt test.

Response by CPL Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 2 at 2017 1:28 AM

2017-03-02T01:28:26-05:00

Looks like Mullen wants to strangle himself with his PT belt

Response by PO2 Stephen Sauer made Mar 2 at 2017 11:51 AM

2017-03-02T11:51:15-05:00

Hahahaha

Response by SGT Mathew Husen made Mar 2 at 2017 7:21 PM

2017-03-02T19:21:20-05:00

One night at FOB Kalsu another Soldier and I were smoking on the way to our cans. As soon as the other soldier split off to go his way, I was stopped by so E6 who started yelling at me for walking and smoking and even threatened to tell the CSM. I actually started to laugh and pointed to the other soldier i was walking with." There he is if you want to tell him."

Response by SPC Kyle Weller made Mar 3 at 2017 8:10 PM

2017-03-03T20:10:49-05:00

I must admit I was a bit of a smart mouth on occasion as a spec 4 and it nearly bit me in the rear once.
I had forgotten to do some trivial thing that my E-5 had instructed me because of a medical emergency. (I was the medic)
So I was told by my E-5 to carry a rock around in my pocket in the field as punishment.
Later that night we were all sitting around cracking jokes and ripping on one another when my E-5 asked, "Do you still have that rock I told you to carry?"
"Yes Sergeant. I sure do! I keep it as a constant reminder of your leadership abilities!"
Needless to say he wasn't impressed and informed me that I would be written up when we got back from the field for insubordination.
That was until I chimed back in with, "But Sergeant, how do you know I didn't mean steadfast and solid?!?"

Response by PFC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 5 at 2017 4:51 PM

2017-03-05T16:51:33-05:00

Have a name tape sewed above my bottoms rear pocket. AR670-1 doesnt say shit about it

Response by PVT Elizabeth Long made Mar 5 at 2017 5:53 PM

2017-03-05T17:53:00-05:00

Nowhere in AR670-1 could I find anything that said that we couldn't put anything in the pocket inside the PC. I carried a laminated 9-line card and a map inside it at all times and never once did I get told that my PC was jacked up or have to slap it on my leg to keep it from rolling up. If I had ever gotten yelled at, I would ask why it had a pocket if we couldn't use it and mention that AR 670-1 didn't say you couldn't do it.
I got away with this for both my ROTC stint and in Active Duty. Never got lost and I still have the 9-line card and use it for my EMT class.
Another thing I did was using hair ties to blouse my pants along with the strings and bootlaces so they would not come undone. We weren't allowed to have the blousing straps. The females were obviously allowed to have hair ties (also a great replacement for rubber bands, I got the males into using them for stuff). Nobody said anything about blousing them without the blousing straps...

Response by CPL Justin Mosley made Mar 7 at 2017 10:01 PM

2017-03-07T22:01:07-05:00

My company was temporarily transferred to another battalion for a deployment to Afghanistan, after we got back we were told we couldn't wear the patch for the unit we deployed with. Everyone else in my company readily switched their patches but me being the stubborn smart ass i am took my deployment orders and went to JAG. They informed me that i in fact did not have to change my patch my 1st sgt and csm consistently tried to get me to change it i just refused and stated that id already been to jag about the matter all they could ever say is why do you have to be so damn difficult.

Response by Cpl George Lucy made Mar 8 at 2017 12:47 PM

2017-03-08T12:47:28-05:00

I dodged and NJP in the marines for exceeding the abv% by providing a bottle of wine with a higher abv% level. Btn. commander like my argument and threw it out.

Response by PFC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 8 at 2017 1:50 PM

2017-03-08T13:50:38-05:00

When I was in AIT, our Platoon Sergeant insisted that there was a regulation mandating that we send the short soldiers to the front of the formation before marching and the tall soldiers to the back, or size up. This was to avoid injury in the short people because their strides were shorter. However, the tall soldiers got fed up after all of these weeks that the short soldiers got to eat chow first. The tall people were always last into the chow hall. They made a truly valid point: Aren't all steps supposed to be 30"? How does it make sense that the short soldiers have a short 30" stride and the tall soldiers have a longer one if all steps are 30"?? The NCOs couldn't counter that one!

Response by PO3 Chuck McKenna made Mar 8 at 2017 9:40 PM

2017-03-08T21:40:42-05:00

I was doing a training FARP (Forward Arming and Refueling Point) near the Salton Sea in CA. I'm a Corpsman I was stationed with the Marine air wing. The Marines were breaking everything down for the day and loading up empty Smokey SAM tubes and fuel hoses. The sergeant major of the command had stopped by our location when this was going on. He barked at me, "Why aren't you helping load that sh!t up?" I had been briefed before I went out that I was "Strictly an observer and I was only there to lend medical aid in case of an actual emergency." I told the sergeant major this and it only pissed him off further. So I asked him a question, "Sergeant major, if one of MY marines were to get debris in his eye how useful would I be to him if I had fuel on my hands?"

He looked at me for a few second (while all the Marines looked on) and said to the Marines, "Get back to work" and in a much softer voice to me, "Carry on."

Response by Cpl Jon McMillen made Mar 9 at 2017 6:10 AM

2017-03-09T06:10:19-05:00

Holes in our canniest could not be larger than a dime. I always wanted to make a set of mesh commits, each individual hole being slightly smaller than the diameter of a dime.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 9 at 2017 10:35 PM

2017-03-09T22:35:21-05:00

You cannot have your hands unless you are "actively searching" for a day I walked around with my hands in my pocket rotating them in circles (looked like I was actively scratching myself). My SMG came up to me and said with a smile "point proven" and that was the end of that

Response by LTC Charles Millstein made Mar 12 at 2017 11:11 AM

2017-03-12T11:11:38-04:00

When I was on leave, the Hospital Commander thought it would be funny to assign me as "Helipad Commander", BS job with lots of potential responsibility as we had choppers in and out of the hospital all the time. Looked up the Regs, put in request for silver fire suits, fire truck, and TDY to the fire school at Bliss for myself and my whole team. CO decided to give the job to someone else, less "barracks lawyer". Fine with me, TDY from Germany was pretty rare anyway. But if you don't ask, you never know.

Response by SSgt Bradley McCain made Mar 18 at 2017 8:29 AM

2017-03-18T08:29:10-04:00

USAF PT requirements state that, during the sit-up portion of the test, the hands must remain in contact with the chest. It doesn't specify where on the chest, or what part of the hand. It Shari says that the elbows or forearms must contact the knees or thighs, once again, not specifying where on either. I would put my fingertips on my lower pecs (read, man-boobs, I ain't proud), then "sit-up" and barely graze my upper thighs during testing. Never had a sit-up not count.

Technically right is the best kind of right.

Response by Cpl Steve Adams made Mar 22 at 2017 9:10 PM

2017-03-22T21:10:34-04:00

When I was in the MC, I had a SGT tell me that the grooming regulations tell you how to wear a mustache but don't say that you that you can grow one.

Response by SGM Mikel Dawson made Mar 26 at 2017 6:02 AM

2017-03-26T06:02:49-04:00

When I was on the "trail", I quickly learned at the end of a block of instruction not to say, "Do you have any questions?" You can't imagine what some smart ass private, or some really thick headed private will ask, then you look stupid. Instead I learned to always ended a block of instruction with: "Are there any questions pertaining to the subject I just covered?"

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 2 at 2017 3:07 AM

2017-04-02T03:07:04-04:00

Way back when...I was in ROTC in College, we were having an IG inspection, and the Colonel was reviewing the Corps of Cadets, he came across a Cadet without a name tag. The Cadet looked at his right pocket on his blouse and saw that he indeed forgot his name tag, the Cadet looked at the IG and said, "Sir, I don't need a name tag, I memorized my name."

Response by Cpl Zach Wellborn made Apr 3 at 2017 4:53 AM

2017-04-03T04:53:57-04:00

Well I'm a Marine so just about everything you guys do is cute.....I mean amusing.

Response by LT Amy Burton made Apr 9 at 2017 9:33 AM

2017-04-09T09:33:53-04:00

I was Navy but taught in a joint service environment. We had a young service woman who after getting her ears pierced had difficulty getting her service compliant earrings back into her ears. She ended up being able to put them in her newly pierced lobes backwards. There was nothing in the regulations at the time that said she could not do so, but it did look pretty stupid.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 10 at 2017 3:25 PM

2017-04-10T15:25:39-04:00

So as a comms equipment repairer, I was told my my MCS that I wasn't allowed to have my vault door closed unless there were open radios/equipment. Because as you know, we sham (sleep) in the vault. So I proceeded to take the top off of my radio and set up sleep system under my desk. And we'll, there were open radios, so what was the problem?

Response by Sgt William Straub Jr. made Apr 11 at 2017 9:27 AM

2017-04-11T09:27:52-04:00

Everywhere I was stationed, there were junior Officers that had a misguided interpretation of duties. The coolest Junior Officer I ever met was a young "22" year old Pilot Trainee at Reese AFB, Lubbock, TX. I was a Security Policeman and most nights I drove a Victor patrol. Vehicle patrol around the base. Often we had to take the OOD around on a Base Check. This one 2nd LT was often the OOD. I don't know if it was usual or he just kept getting in trouble. Anyway, one time we are doing a perimeter check and he brought his .22 cal rifle with him. I as a young E2 was not going to argue with him. While we are driving we could see the Jack Rabbits, which to my citified eyes look like the legendary Jackalope. He would take shots at them and actually hit them sometimes. He would also tell me he had to make bed checks. I would drive him to his quarters, he would get out and go to his room. A minute or two later he would return and say "OK Bed is there." We often talked and he was training to hopefully be a bomber or cargo jet pilot. His end goal was to fly commercial when he got out and felt it would be easier to get a job if his specialty was big aircraft. Jet Jockeys' had the reputation of being a little crazy. I ended up getting sent to NKP Thailand and lost contact. About 8 months later I was on an ECP and some smartass officer was coming out of the secure area and walking up the road towards my post. As he passed, he slowed down and looked at me, then said: "let's go kill us some Jack Rabbits Airman." Same LT but now a 1st LT. He was a copilot on a C-130. He invited me to have a beer with him at the O Club. I had to remind him that I was just an E3 at this time. Said "no problem" we are the same size, wear my fatigues. Make a long story short. I didn't but I did take him downtown with a couple of buddies. For a young Officer, he was a great guy. I would have followed him anywhere. He always felt that the only difference between himself and enlisted was an education and a paper declaring himself to be an Officer and Gentleman. He understood that NCO's and enlisted were the backbone and strength of the AF.

Response by PV2 Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 11 at 2017 12:39 PM

2017-04-11T12:39:48-04:00

At basic training, the rule at chow is to come in, sit when told, drink water, eat along with drinking your cup of milk. Every day I would say a quick prayer before my meal. I was interrupted one time by my drill sergeant by him shouting "PRIVATE WHY AREN'T YOU EATING!?" I told him I was praying before my meal and this man says "well..." and walks off. He really had to think of a reason to justify why praying was not okay in the cow hall... (lol) He comes around the opposite side of the table and goes "YOU JUST NEED TO EAT." And stormed off again. Funniest thing of my life.

Response by SMSgt Patrick Sampson made May 2 at 2017 2:48 PM

2017-05-02T14:48:46-04:00

If you have to process cargo for movement: Cargo must be cleaned/ purged/ and free of all original contents for movement.
So how do you clean-purge-make free of original content a "Pump action-Water- fire extinguisher?"
"It was full of WATER", " how the hell do you purge and clean out WATER?", "what would you clean it with? let me guess -water.", I had this argument with a C141 loader over a case of fire extinguishers returning from desert storm.
Finally got mad and left them on the flight line in Saudi. I think the guy was a moron.
BTW- if you(load master) are a member of RP (don't fess up to this)

Response by LCpl Dwight Wycherley made May 4 at 2017 9:47 PM

2017-05-04T21:47:24-04:00

This is with the Marine Corps, not Army. The MCAS Cherry Point base rule had stated that all occupants must be in a seatbelt.
Enter 1 Friday night and bored...9 of us climbed into my truck, but were buckled.
Monday morning rolls around and the regulation was changed to: all occupants must be in THEIR OWN seatbelt.

Response by CSM Curt Tipton made May 18 at 2017 2:59 PM

2017-05-18T14:59:16-04:00

It never pays to get the Company clerk or admin NCO po'd at you. This happened to a soldier in my company at Fort Polk in the mid 80s. The admin NCO filed a DA form 4187 stating that the soldier was dead. It took weeks to prove that he wasn't!

Response by SSG Gregg Mourizen made Jun 10 at 2017 1:57 PM

2017-06-10T13:57:09-04:00

No hands in your pockets rule, but the PT uniform has "Hand Warming Pockets". Someone, please explain to me how that one works.

Response by CPT Earl George made Jun 17 at 2017 10:54 PM

2017-06-17T22:54:09-04:00

when I got to Germany in 1972, the field jackets were od of course but were a darker green color. I wore a field jacket my brother wore in 1963 that had faded just a little. My field jacket was legal and I was offered $100 for it. Someone finally stole it one day when I took it off for a minute.

Response by LTC Bill Price made Jun 24 at 2017 12:30 AM

2017-06-24T00:30:24-04:00

In 1970, a change to the Mustache regulation declared that, "The mustache ... must not fall below a line parallel with the bottom of the lower lip." When this became known, half the lieutenants in our battalion started wearing long, nicely waxed, handlebar mustaches that didn't fall below the prohibited line. Mine turned up until it almost hit the bottom of my large lens Ray-Ban glasses!

Response by CPT Earl George made Jul 6 at 2017 1:58 PM

2017-07-06T13:58:19-04:00

when I was officially made unit supply officer in Germany,, I went to the supply room to have a short meeting with the supply sergeant. As I entered, I was asked by the supply sergeant if I had my hands in my pockets. I answered NO and asked why I was supposed to have my hands in my pockets. The supply sergeant reply was so that I did not steal anything from the supply room. I asked from where the order came. He said , Me. (We had gone together the week before to the Government supply store and I picked up a load of our stuff at the end of the counter and accidently picked up a 24" paper cutter that belonged to the store.) He noticed it several days later when he put the stuff away in the supply room we had purchased. He figured if I could steal the paper cutter, I could steal anything and he had heard rumors about me. We had a short talk and we became a good team in the supply room. PS you never steal in the service from your own unit.

Response by LTC Bill Price made Aug 10 at 2017 11:39 PM

2017-08-10T23:39:46-04:00

Back in 1970, the Army changed its mustache regs to read as follows: [Oh, yes, this was good enough to memorize!] "Any part of the mustache that extends beyond the corner of the mouth must not fall below a line parallel with the bottom of the lower lip." [No Fu Manchu] Every lieutenant in our battalion immediately grew a handlebar and waxed it so the ends were in compliance! Drove the XO crazy! A couple of years later, the geniuses in the Pentagon reworded the reg to add some illustrations and prohibited styles longer than those pictured. I still grow the handlebar every few years just for fun.

Response by LTC Jon P. Comis made Sep 1 at 2017 2:05 PM

2017-09-01T14:05:36-04:00

No, but in some General Orders, even though logical, were somewhat funny. As in crushing your empty plastic water bottles during a deployment in Kuwait.

Response by SSG James N. made Sep 3 at 2017 12:29 PM

2017-09-03T12:29:38-04:00

Article 134: Just in case we didn't cover this in any other place, this article will end your career in the false name of good order and discipline. It covers all things the current society thinks is ok, but others do not. This widely used article will be used just in case we cannot find a real regulation to fuck with you.

Response by CPT Mark Amargo made Sep 29 at 2017 9:29 PM

2017-09-29T21:29:41-04:00

“Attention to Orders” is it “Stand at attention?” Or merely calling those in the room to pay attention to the orders reader. From my experience, it is whatever the SGM/1SG of that particular unit says it is.

Response by SSG Nick Tramontano made Oct 9 at 2017 7:39 AM

2017-10-09T07:39:47-04:00

AR 670-1 actually has/had a section on this. It said something to the effect of Nothing will be protruding from the pockets to include hands. However, if you hands are in the pockets how are they protruding ?

Response by CPT Larry Hudson made Oct 14 at 2017 9:40 PM

2017-10-14T21:40:21-04:00

Ft Riley, KS 1970's. Combat Engineers; flotation bridge exercises, on Lake Milford. My company was in process of laying roadway on flotation bridge when small 150 Airplane came over low and in strafing attitude dropping small sacks of flour. About 30 minutes later, up comes the commanding generals jeep, he jumps out and begins to pump me about my soldiers being out of uniform. He was training to fly by his orders. We had uniformly stripped to our T-shirts and none of the troops had their boots bloused. As he chewed me out, he finished with what have you got to say for yourself. With confidence, I began to educate him on the Engineer Field Manual which stated that as long as troopers were uniformly dressed in field exercises, no rules were broken. He again jumped on me about my troopers trousers being bloused. Again, Engineer Field Manual clearly stated that soldiers working over water were forbidden to have their trousers bloused because in falling in the water, not being able to swim, the feet would come to the surface or invert and drown. The general, realizing his screw up, turned quickly, jumped into his jeep and disappeared. Lesson learned: Don't mess with Combat Engineers. My Company NCO's; troopers greatly appreciated a combat hardened Commanding Officer watching their backs that day.

Response by SGT Louise Hawthorne made Nov 10 at 2017 12:00 AM

2017-11-10T00:00:52-05:00

'Making your Buddy smile' is now considered sexual harassment!

Response by SGT Mike Ruff made Nov 24 at 2017 8:25 PM

2017-11-24T20:25:05-05:00

When I was in Germany, we had a 1SG who found a USAEUR regulation that apparently required every soldier to have a condom on his person at all times.

Thus, the 1SG began to call random "condom checks."

Thus, someone was dispatched to the BN Aid Station to acquire a supply of condoms sufficient to the needs of an over-strength company.

And thus, with a large case of condoms present in the orderly room, condoms began to appear everywhere, and be used for everything.

Such as:

Unrolled and stuffed (in great numbers) into the sleeping bag of the Training NCO.

Randomly deposited (unrolled) around the orderly room.

Used as improvised fasteners/rubber bands for anything requiring fastening.

Applied, with the tip cut off, to post-it notes on the LT's desk saying "We know the real reason you're getting married."

Inflated and tied off for numerous risible purposes.

Response by MAJ Bruce Wenger made Dec 8 at 2017 10:35 AM

2017-12-08T10:35:37-05:00

You can't carry your military weapon IN your POV but I ride motorcycle so I'd carry my weapon ON my bike.

Response by PO1 Barbara Matthews made Jan 6 at 2018 11:34 AM

2018-01-06T11:34:16-05:00

I remember being on a ship working in the medical department. It was during sick call and busy.

Some young Seaman came in wanting to know if I had some Fallopian Tubes that he needed. I must have looked back at him as is he had two heads. I was like WTF?

I really didn't have time to play games as I was busy and wasn't thinking that someone sent this clueless SN to my department with a strange request.

He was a bit persistent and asked again for me to give him some Fallopian Tubes. At which I let him know that indeed I had a pair but they we're currently in use and I wasn't going to part with them.

Later his LPO contacted me and apologized to me. He had sent the kid to go look for some. Apparently he didn't think it through. Here wasn't thinking about female Corpsmen that might be offended. I wasn't offended but that poor kid did get an education that day.

Response by SGT Jim Wiseman made Apr 5 at 2019 9:31 PM

2019-04-05T21:31:42-04:00

You only need one PT belt to protect you from the giant asteroid...

Response by SPC Tyler Torgerson made Oct 13 at 2019 12:16 PM

2019-10-13T12:16:19-04:00

Had a buddy run into the toc overseas in nothing but a pt belt saying "the British are coming! the British are coming!"

Response by SSG Ralph Watkins made Dec 24 at 2021 5:37 PM

2021-12-24T17:37:26-05:00

While in Iraq in 2004-2005, the 1st CAV violated regs. They came up with an alternative 1st CAV patch to be issued as a combat patch. If it was your 1st deployment, you got the alternative patch. On the right sleeve, the horse would be facing forward. If it was your second tour with them, then you can wear the standard patch on your right sleeve. The horse going home. My Guard unit had old timers who wore a 1st CAV patch on their right sleeve from the start. Snot-nosed punks came up & told them they couldn't wear that patch & then got rudely piut in their place that it was their 2nd tour with the 1st CAV. Their previous tour was Vietnam. Eventually someone back in DC took notice of the unapproved patch & order them all removed. My set of DCUs I got to keep still has the unauthorized patch on it.