Do you see an issue with service members and veterans defining who they are by their military service?

SGT Joseph Gunderson — Fri, 22 Dec 2017 05:00:53 -0500

I believe in being proud of one's service. I am, of course, an Army veteran. Some of the greatest years of my life wear spent wearing chevrons. Could their be potential issues that could arise from veterans defining their entire lives by their service? If, no matter what else they did or do, all they see is a veteran?

Response by A1C Ian Williams made Dec 22 at 2017 5:04 AM

A1C Ian Williams — Fri, 22 Dec 2017 05:04:58 -0500

You are what you are and sometimes what you do has such a formative effect on your life that yes it does truly define you SGT Joseph Gunderson

Response by CPO Glenn Moss made Dec 22 at 2017 5:06 AM

CPO Glenn Moss — Fri, 22 Dec 2017 05:06:38 -0500

There are potential issues that could arise from veterans NOT defining their entire lives by their service.

In fact, there are potential issues that could arise from veterans defining their lives in any way whatsoever. Because...humans.

Like so many other aspects of life, such a thing is only a problem when it seriously impacts their lives in an adverse way. If a veteran wants to center his entire life around his status as a (fill in the blank) veteran...more power to him. Good or bad, he needs to deal with the consequences.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 22 at 2017 5:11 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 22 Dec 2017 05:11:50 -0500

People naturally want to be accepted by others and want/need a sense of belonging. I think if it makes them happy, then more power to them. The bond that comes with serving alongside other people that share similar experiences with you is like no other. So I understand how they hold on to this identity after leaving the military.

Response by Capt Daniel Goodman made Dec 22 at 2017 7:37 AM

Capt Daniel Goodman — Fri, 22 Dec 2017 07:37:47 -0500

Trust !e, and I know tis is just mymvoew of course, I think we all do it...actually, I rather think it pretty inescapable, you know? As in totally unavoidable, honest, pretty much...certain things are life changing...doing that stuff, I think, clearly qualifies, in a way those who've never done it can rarely, if ever, even remotely hope to begin to understand, you know?

Response by SGT David T. made Dec 22 at 2017 7:51 AM

SGT David T. — Fri, 22 Dec 2017 07:51:30 -0500

I think in some ways it leads some folks to look in the wrong direction. I know some that cant seem to get past it in their lives and they end up being...unproductive. I am proud of my service but that was only part of the foundation that made me who I am today. I no longer define myself as a Soldier. I think it is important to be proud of where you came from, but look to the future and pursue goals. If we only look back we don't end up anywhere.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 22 at 2017 8:42 AM

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 22 Dec 2017 08:42:43 -0500

I think most people want to validate their lives somehow. They want to be able to look back and say that they did something that mattered. And to that end, military service to your country certainly fits the bill. But the answer to your question may just come down to what we all hold as most valuable as individuals. I personally see my role as a husband and father carrying more weight than my military service but that's just my perspective. If I were to fail at those things I would consider my life a failure despite any military achievements. But for others they may see things differently. A lot of factors come into play when we look at our lives and try to find meaning. I base my self worth on the Bible and my Christian faith. So while my military service and even my success or failure as a husband and father makes a difference to me and determines how I define my life, at the end of the day the sum of all these parts do not equal my actual worth. Whether I die a champion on top of the mountain or an utter failure in the bottom of a ditch, I will be defined by God as being someone He was willing to die for. That's what keeps me going even when things are going bad.

Response by Maj John Bell made Dec 22 at 2017 8:43 AM

Maj John Bell — Fri, 22 Dec 2017 08:43:45 -0500

All things in moderation.

Response by Sgt Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 22 at 2017 3:56 PM

Sgt Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 22 Dec 2017 15:56:09 -0500

SGT Joseph Gunderson Once a Marine, Always a Marine. I am proud of my service, but I only served four years. My primary civilian career spanned 33 years, and was a large part of my life. Even though I knew the program was ending years in advance, it was extremely hard to see it end. As mentioned by Maj John Bell, you have to find a balance in your life that works for you.

Response by Cpl Justin Goolsby made Dec 22 at 2017 4:09 PM

Cpl Justin Goolsby — Fri, 22 Dec 2017 16:09:33 -0500

No, I don't see an issue with it. We might accomplish great things in our lives, but being in the military might be what we are most proud of because of how much it meant to us. A lot of us see military service as a Brotherhood or a lifestyle. Everything else just boils down to a job for us.

Response by CSM Clifford Fargason made Dec 22 at 2017 6:04 PM

CSM Clifford Fargason — Fri, 22 Dec 2017 18:04:21 -0500

Go to just about any cemetery and you will find folks who are forever identified as a veteran, even if they also have a civilian headstone. I was fortunate that I grew up during a time that most of the men in the community were veterans. I appreciate them as the pillars of the community that they were, but am also proud that they stepped up when it counted.

Response by MCPO Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 22 at 2017 6:06 PM

MCPO Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 22 Dec 2017 18:06:11 -0500

I see it as a huge issue. Folks that just can't let go end up being amazingly bitter and unable to deal with civilian life. They also tend to be the ones that lurk in the Exchanges or Commissaries, or at the local VFW/Legion halls so they can re-re-re-re-retell their war stories to anyone that will listen.

Sorry, Al Bundy, but "Used-to-bees" don't make no honey (stolen from a retired USMC Sergeant Major. High School/college was a long time ago, and you aren't a wide receiver or cheerleader any longer... so just do what Disney's Elsa recommends...

LET IT GO!!

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 22 at 2017 6:14 PM

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 22 Dec 2017 18:14:04 -0500

I am more concerned with folks who define their entire lives by the rise and fall of their preferred professional sports franchise.

Response by Sgt John Watts made Dec 22 at 2017 6:51 PM

Sgt John Watts — Fri, 22 Dec 2017 18:51:46 -0500

As a Marine I don't understand what you mean. What else is there? (Lol j/k)

Response by SSG Mark Tsunokai made Dec 25 at 2017 1:19 PM

SSG Mark Tsunokai — Mon, 25 Dec 2017 13:19:52 -0500

I want to go back despite being 52 years old. Retired with my 20 year letter, 6 years Active duty and 14 years Guard and Reserves. Finally finished my BA in Psychology, now what? The current plan is a Masters degree in Counseling, and to work with the VA.

Response by SFC Greg Bruorton made Dec 26 at 2017 7:11 PM

SFC Greg Bruorton — Tue, 26 Dec 2017 19:11:12 -0500

I lean to my military service that provided opportunities to excel in leadership traits and attributes; both I find important in my life today as a leader in my church, coupled with a strong desire to serve Jesus Christ and my fellow members. My three years in ROTC that helped shape me for an Army career I hold dear to this day, but so too is the drive in my sunset years to get myself in tune with the Lord in all aspects. My military service is but a small part of my overall experiences in life, despite the rigid mental and physical training of that service that lives with me today.
I hold habits that only another veteran might recognize and, to me, is a good thing because the forming of those habits molded me into what I am today.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 26 at 2017 8:08 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 26 Dec 2017 20:08:16 -0500

No, though if it is only a small number of years of their total working life, then they certainly should add to that identity. Military service in a good, challenging role is an experience that shapes a person and is further an experience that non-veterans lack.
However, if you get out in your 20s or 30s, you've got more than half of your working life ahead of you. Don't stop moving forward.

Response by PO1 William "Chip" Nagel made Dec 26 at 2017 10:13 PM

PO1 William "Chip" Nagel — Tue, 26 Dec 2017 22:13:11 -0500

SGT Joseph Gunderson 21 Years a Cryptologic Technician Communications, 18 Months a Network Analyst, 3 Years a Network Operations Specialist, 15 Years Security Officer. I would say My Naval Service being the Longest Defines Me the Best. Once a Spook always a Spook.

Response by PO1 Rick Serviss made Jan 5 at 2018 6:22 AM

PO1 Rick Serviss — Fri, 05 Jan 2018 06:22:08 -0500

So many great input below. I agree that this becomes a problem when they are so consumed by their veteran status, they don't look towards the future. It seems harder for them to adjust to civilian culture and set themselves up for disappointment. They might have been a "golden boy or girl" in the military but they should establish their other identity once they are separated.

I enjoy meeting other veterans and telling sea stories but we all should not get too wrapped up in it. We are in a special club. I was at an airport and I showed my driver's licenses to TSA. Somehow, the guy knew I served without me ever mentioning it. Same thing with casino security. It was kind of neat.

Response by PO2 Michael Hennessy made Feb 22 at 2018 2:38 PM

PO2 Michael Hennessy — Thu, 22 Feb 2018 14:38:38 -0500

I live in a region of the country that the socially hip and demonstrably prominent segment of the population is ardently anti-military/anti-veteran. Though you'll see and hear the surfacey "thank you for your service" which I loathe, what they actually talk about when they think there aren't veterans around or they believe everyone around them thinks as they do, their true feelings of animus and hatred spill out like a sewer hole. I simply go about my business when I hear it because there is nothing I can say or do to affect change.

I am a veteran and I am pround of my service. I come from a long line of men and women who stepped up and served, dating back to this nation's beginnings. This still does not define who I am but rather lends insight to me on the sort of folks from whom I descend. I am a husband, father, son and brother. These do not define me, either. These are roles either by choice or by birth. My role as a veteran is both current and past history and like my other roles, it plays a part in defining my character but not necessarily who I am as a person. I have complete control and accountability for who I am and the actions I take. My time in uniform contributed to shaping this but didn't alter who I am.

I don't begrudge folks who place their identity on their time in uniform and service. I only suggest that what they do when they carry this banner matters to their community (which includes their family) and if they are arrogant jerks, others will judge them and all veterans for their actions.

When we wore the uniform, we did so in service to our country. Those who judge us are part of our country. Be discerning in how to carry the veteran banner if this is how you represent yourself.