Does anybody else question their competence on Memorial Day?

2016-05-31T03:27:59-04:00

Sorry, first time posting. Didn't understand how the question posting mechanism worked.

Today being Memorial Day I'm feeling a bit depressed. I was trying to make a Memorial Day post to social media today. I kept trying to post something and deleting it all day long, since I can't seem to phrase my feelings in a way that seem fit to be read by people I care about.

Tired of the jingoistic BS. I just want to blast politicians and the US people for sending kids to shoot kids. These days the only thing keeping me in the NCO Corps is to try to do the best I can do for the junior enlisted around me, but I don't believe in the mission anymore. Trying to articulate the way I feel about our extra-territorial aggression has caused me a lot of emotional turmoil.

I just want to be the best Sergeant I can be for my soldiers, do my time, and get out at this point. So I guess my question is, how do other first line leaders feel at the moment? Is there anybody else that can relate? The majority of my peers in my current unit appear to be lifers, and I feel like I'm the conspicuously disillusioned one.

The morning after edit: I got a bit emotional and said some things I wouldn't normally say in the sober light of day. In retrospect, this ended up being more of a rant about my own feelings toward service than it was about Memorial Day. I'm removing the Memorial Day tag accordingly.

Thanks for being a tolerant place and humoring my bellyaching, RP. I'll try to internalize some of this feedback going forward. Remember the fallen.

Response by TSgt David L. made May 31 at 2016 3:39 AM

2016-05-31T03:39:57-04:00

You did fine and the post is a good one. You can't put too much pressure on yourself. An NCO wanting to be the best you can is normal, just don't be consumed by it. I judged my success by the success of my troops. If they are put in for awards and other programs like Soldier of the quarter or something like that, then you've done right by them. Arming them with the tools to be successful is the right thing to do.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made May 31 at 2016 4:24 AM

2016-05-31T04:24:40-04:00

I'll share my Facebook commentary:
"Not much profound to say for Memorial Day...
I carry the memories of the those who passed on who, at some point, were a part of my past. Perhaps - if things were different - they would be reading this on their phones at a barbecue and smiling.
Life goes on, and I will proudly carry on those memories as I continue to be the person I am... on my way to the person I will become."

This goes along with the message I received from one of my contacts: "I'm hanging with Greg right now, I'll be sure to let him know..."
Greg is buried at Fort Rosecrans National Cemetery in San Diego - he was the first patient we lost during our '06-'07 OIF deployment...and he wasn't our last (if you are curious, I wrote about it here: https://columbuscynic.wordpress.com/2012/01/04/may-28-2007/)

Yeah, I hear you and I get where you are coming from... it is *extremely* difficult to keep going in the face of apathy and adversity. Oh-ho-ho... I KNOW. To tell you the truth, it's not going to get easier unless you apply some serious mental ju-jitsu to all that frustrates, irritates, and aggravates you. Learn to use the momentum of bureaucracy to your advantage - thrive in it... relish it. As Henry Rollins once said: "When life hands you a lemon, say, 'Oh yeah, I like lemons! What else ya got?”... The Army will push your last button and fray your last damn nerve, but entrench yourself with your best asset - your Soldiers. *Show* them that the "jingoistic BS" can be tamed and redirected in a positive manner.

I also hear you about the current foreign policy issues. When Mosul and Tikrit fell to ISIS, I became acutely aware of the frustration felt by Vietnam Vets. I never wanted to go to Iraq in the first place - felt that we were making a HUGE mistake in '03... but I re-enlisted and still went because, regardless of my feelings, I could not knowingly stand idle as my friends went into harm's way. Camaraderie trumps personal politics... it sucks, but it's what makes us stand apart. To put it into further perspective, my wife is Russian and the rest of her family is still there... along with that, history and open-source intelligence is sort of a hobby, so it would be safe to say that I REALLY don't want to hostilities involving Russia with anyone - it will be messy, as it always is with them. Still, I would not hesitate for a second if my services were needed. This is me and my strange sense of duty - not to a policy, but to the people wearing the Uniform.

With support comes the terse advice: commit either way. It's a disservice to yourself and to your guys if you are having doubts. I'd love to sugar-coat that a bit more so I didn't sound like some crusty old-school fart, but to do so would dilute the impact. Go into work, have a cup of coffee, and sit quietly and listen: if you hear a problem and are immediately thinking of a solution... then it is clear where your *heart* lies. If you see one of your guys (generic, non-gender/identity biased term), and you want to see him excel not because of any other reason than you know he can... again, it is clear where your heart and head are - not fretting over policy, but over the people wearing the Uniform.
Y'dig?
:)

(Forgot to answer your initial question: "Does anybody else question their competence on Memorial Day?" Yes, but that is what makes me strive to be better...)

columbuscynic on WordPress.com

Just me.

Response by SGT Matt Beck made May 31 at 2016 8:08 AM

2016-05-31T08:08:09-04:00

Crack a beer call up some of your army buddies, and let the memes fly

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made May 31 at 2016 8:41 AM

2016-05-31T08:41:30-04:00

There are many feelings that come to us on this day and unfortunately a state of depression is one of them. We have to know where we stand with regards to our Leadership style. Knowing that how we handle a situation defines our character. Our Soldiers need guidance, mentorship and strong Leadership. We won't always agree with what is going on in our Nation or in the world all the time, but we do need to agree that we must maintain focus. We must also have faith, and trust a higher power that everything will work out in the long run. Stay strong Sergeant, NCOs Lead The Way!

Response by SSG Jeff Beltran made May 31 at 2016 8:56 AM

2016-05-31T08:56:12-04:00

Brother, I went through a couple cross-road phases during my military career. What helped me pull through the funk may not work for you, but you have to find your passion and I see that helping your Soldier's is your passion. Mentor them and lead them to be the future warriors as much as you are disillusioned. You must also find your passion or hobby and make time for yourself. Depending on how long you invested in the Army, go into the Reserves or National Guard, or Cross Branches don't throw away 5 to 10 years you've invested, because the next 15 to 20 years will go fast and there are benefit for staying into the end and that goal (Retirement). Kenneth, here a few things that helped me: I would take leave and visited a few War Memorial place's during my career. One of these places was Pearl Harbor, Hawaii to reflect on the Sacrifices that others had done way before I joined. This recharged me and gave me the resolve and reignited my Patriotism and my Service to Country. I also talked over my doubts to only close battle buddies who knew me and who would encourage me. I also sought Behavioral Health and the Chaplain to deal with my depression and to find Hope. I hope this helps and I pray that you will find the right decision within your heart to Soldier on.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made May 31 at 2016 10:19 AM

2016-05-31T10:19:07-04:00

SGT Private RallyPoint Member You're possibly depressed because you're mixing two issues.
Issue 1. Your not being able to phrase my feelings in a way that seem fit to be read by people I care about.
Issue 2. Your anger at politicians and the US people for sending kids to shoot kids.

Focus on what Memorial Day is about, our fallen brothers and sisters on all Memorial Days. And rail against the politicians the rest of the year, save Veteran's Day. On Veteran's Day that's our day. Do something with your buds.

Take care and don't let the bastards get you down.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made May 31 at 2016 10:22 AM

2016-05-31T10:22:06-04:00

I could give a post of great detail to this, but in the name of brevity, let me proffer a bit of advice, SGT Private RallyPoint Member:
Focus on what is important, and what is under your control. Master your technical and tactical tasks, and impart to your Soldiers that mastery.
Do this, and you are a fine member of the NCO corps who I would welcome in my own formation.
Head up, back straight.

Response by LTC Tom Jones made May 31 at 2016 10:33 AM

2016-05-31T10:33:41-04:00

I very much appreciate your honesty, your service and your courage in making this post. As a young soldier, you probably can not understand the level to which it resonates with many Vietnam era vets such as myself. I hope you find some traction in good advice that many have given here. Godspeed, young man.

Response by 1SG Billye Jackson made May 31 at 2016 12:10 PM

2016-05-31T12:10:29-04:00

"Tired of the jingoistic BS. I just want to blast politicians and the US people for sending kids to shoot kids. These days the only thing keeping me in the NCO Corps is to try to do the best I can do for the junior enlisted around me, but I don't believe in the mission anymore" If you were one of my Troopers, and Came to me and express this Point of View, I would tell you It's time to Go. Your Job as a NCO is accomplish The Mission

Response by SSgt Ryan Sylvester made May 31 at 2016 1:30 PM

2016-05-31T13:30:52-04:00

Trust me, right now the civilian market is in shambles... and that's coming from an IT guy. I'd be 3 years from retirement if I hadn't been forced out on a med disqual, and not a day goes by that I don't think about what might have been otherwise. But at the time near the end of my service, I was in the same place you are right now; disillusioned about the mission as it has been. We're all a little war weary, having been in that state for most of the current century and it isn't looking like it will stop any time soon. The only thing I can say about where my solace came from is that my oath was taken because of a sense of duty. This country truly is great and something worth defending, even if the folks "running" it are... well, for a lack of a better phrase, a bunch of candy-grubbing children. But that was my mission, serving this country and the people who live here. That's what gave me purpose. I'm not saying it'll work for you necessarily. But if you can find the thing that gives you motivation, you can find your sense of purpose again. Or make a new purpose for yourself, which sounds like you have a good one already. But definitely do some reflection before you turn in your cover. If you truly want to hang it up, you'll know. If it's just because you think civilian life would be better... believe me when I say that there's precious little opportunity out here, and even less loyalty. So if you make that decision, then make sure you've got all your ducks lined up before you lose that paycheck.

Response by SGT Robert Riley made May 31 at 2016 4:10 PM

2016-05-31T16:10:56-04:00

Then be the best Sergeant for your soldiers. If that is how you feel, then you are entitled to said feelings. Focus on the soldiers under your care and don't worry about America's extra-territorial aggression.Leave that to the politicians. I have never questioned my competence on Memorial Day, but I have reflected on the people in my respective units who never came home, the ones who were grievously wounded and those of us who made it and deal with our personal demons. Keep a log book and write down your feelings. Talk to a chaplain or a peer but in the meantime, don't play Monday morning quarterback with your competence. You are an NCO, use your experience and hone the skills of the soldiers in your unit and yourself.That is my advice to you and continue the mission.

Response by CSM Private RallyPoint Member made May 31 at 2016 10:51 PM

2016-05-31T22:51:39-04:00

Maybe your calling in life is to do something else. Follow what feels right for you. When you do transition out, consider joining the Army Reserve. There are all kinds of opportunities, and if you are on the PPRL for SSG it transfers. Also, if you decide to go Warrant Officer the Reserve is offering a $25k bonus.

Response by SGT Michael Thorin made May 31 at 2016 10:52 PM

2016-05-31T22:52:18-04:00

I have a couple of things that may or may not be of some benefit to you. I pray they will be, because I believe (strictly my opinion) that many NCO's who take pride in their performance and capabilities do have a problem, from time to time, reconciling what they want their service to be about, and what they actually feel it is becoming.

First, to address Memorial Day. No fancy words need to be said that have not already told the story a million times over. It is a day which many feel is a day to celebrate and thank our veteran's, but most of us veteran's want everyone to understand that this is not what Memorial Day is for. It is a day set aside to remember the ultimate sacrifices that have been made by so many in wars and conflicts to ensure this Country could indeed remain the "Land of the Free."

These wars are indiscriminate. From the American Revolutionary War to the current conflicts in which we are engaged, all of these are, in one way or another, related to our ability to keep our Country free.

Never discount the service that you provide now as being a service that keeps our Nation free. We have all run across people who have said "you never fought for my freedoms!" as they showed disgust that you would be willing to put on a uniform and fight for an "oppressive" military, saying that our country is in wars it should not be involved in.

First of all, and I hesitate to say this, but had it not been for the French, we may still be under British rule, as it took the French rendering assistance to help in a few key conflicts during the Revolutionary War. That being said, on a global scale, we honestly do need to assist when possible, as we never know when we may need the favor returned.

Secondly, have all wars been what we would consider "justified"? That is debatable. Many will say that Vietnam was not justified, that Iraq was not justified, etc. etc, but honestly, how do you determine if a war was truly justified or not?

To do that, you would have to be 100% positive that the outcome would have been more positive if you had not intervened than if you had. It is the butterfly theory over again. We all have a knowledge that we did have a great deal of the "Radical Muslims" occupied on their home turf by being in Iraq and Afghanistan, which kept them off of ours, and now that we have pulled out, they are uprising more and the threats are now global instead of isolated in the Middle East.

Today, the United States Military is still considered the number 1 military power globally. Russia is second and China is third. These rankings are taken by comparing self-sufficiency of a country, it's military manpower, it's predicted availability of manpower, it's active, reserve and guard strengths. It is also taking into account the number of aircraft by class, tanks by class, and so on and so forth. No detail is spared.

Interesting to note, China has a larger military force than the United States, but has less available equipment, and that is why they were behind the United States and Russia. However, just because we are number one does not mean we are not susceptible to attacks.

Russia is routinely incurring into our airspace with Bear Bombers on an almost weekly basis, in what some military strategists seem could be a series of feints to see how we will react, and to judge our reactionary time. China is continually throwing threats to the United States, and one has to wonder if Russia and China may decide to band together to make a run at the United States.

And why not? Globally, with the way our elections are shaping up in our elections this year, the United States has more the appearance of the kid that nobody wanted on their team, so they were always picked last, even after the kid in the wheelchair.

I mean no disrespect by this, but that being the case, there is only one thing that will enable our Country to keep the hard posture that says, "Come try if you want me, but you won't get me!", and that is a military with great leaders and highly trained soldiers willing to go out on a limb and risk it all for a purpose greater than themselves, and that is freedom. Not the freedom that people are screaming about on the news everyday, wanting their own freedoms to go into a bathroom of their choosing, or their freedoms to burn a flag or their freedoms to riot in cities destroying thousands of dollars worth of property: the freedom that you and I know about. The knowledge that no matter how bad these people in our Country want to have peace and hug each other, there will always be a need for a military to ensure that they are able to keep their freedoms.

Sometimes I feel American's have become so full of freedom that they now believe that freedom means that people can think anything they want, do anything they want, say anything they want or go anywhere they want, as long as these things do not offend them. If they do, then the only way they believe they can have freedom is if the Government makes people believe as they do.

I know this is long, but I want to take this opportunity to post the NCO Creed once again. I know you remember this, but there is a point that I want to make with this.

"No one is more professional than I. I am a noncommissioned officer, a leader of Soldiers. As a noncommissioned officer, I realize that I am a member of a time honored corps, which is known as "The Backbone of the Army". I am proud of the Corps of noncommissioned officers and will at all times conduct myself so as to bring credit upon the Corps, the military service and my country regardless of the situation in which I find myself. I will not use my grade or position to attain pleasure, profit, or personal safety.

Competence is my watchword. My two basic responsibilities will always be uppermost in my mind—accomplishment of my mission and the welfare of my Soldiers. I will strive to remain technically and tactically proficient. I am aware of my role as a noncommissioned officer. I will fulfill my responsibilities inherent in that role. All Soldiers are entitled to outstanding leadership; I will provide that leadership. I know my Soldiers and I will always place their needs above my own. I will communicate consistently with my Soldiers and never leave them uninformed. I will be fair and impartial when recommending both rewards and punishment.

Officers of my unit will have maximum time to accomplish their duties; they will not have to accomplish mine. I will earn their respect and confidence as well as that of my Soldiers. I will be loyal to those with whom I serve; seniors, peers, and subordinates alike. I will exercise initiative by taking appropriate action in the absence of orders. I will not compromise my integrity, nor my moral courage. I will not forget, nor will I allow my comrades to forget that we are professionals, noncommissioned officers, leaders!"

That creed was specifically written that way for a purpose. It doesn't mention evaluating your mission for moral or ethical ideals. It doesn't require you to be a part of the planning. What it does do, however, is provide you with the charge to ensure that you know how you fit into the plan, and ensure that your soldiers that you are charged with remain motivated in a military where it may be hard to find motivation.

SGT Harbin, the fact that you are asking this question is the very reason you do not need to just buy your time and "get out." The fact that you are asking this question means that you are the type NCO who will provide the leadership our military needs to stand our ground and beat back any challenges that come our way.

I'm disabled now, and can no longer do the job, and I have asked the same question. When it comes down to, you have to acknowledge that you did not choose what you are on your own, in some way, shape or form, it chose you. For that reason along I suggest that you find that thing that makes you believe again.

For me, it was the knowledge that if everyone in the military thought like I thought, that I just wanted to leave and be done with it, there would be no one at the door when the wolf came knocking, and that is a day that none of us want to see.

Good luck and God bless sergeant. I hope you find what you need in working through this, because it sounds to me that there is a chance of the Army losing a good NCO if you do not.

Last bit of advice, keep that talk between you and a few trusted fellow NCO's. Do not let your soldiers here you speaking of that. If you are the kind of NCO who has the trust and respect of his soldiers, their thoughts will follow yours, and you will definitely become a part of eventually making all of your guys mission ineffective.

God bless you brother.

Response by SGT Alfred Cox made Jun 1 at 2016 2:16 PM

2016-06-01T14:16:25-04:00

Nope. Had a brother die so every memorial day. I drink and salute that magnificent bastard. R.I.P Sgt M. Leach. Friend brother battle buddy soldier.

Response by SGT Theresa Edmonston made Jun 1 at 2016 8:09 PM

2016-06-01T20:09:54-04:00

It is very hard even if you get out to cope with the hardships of loss. I did much of the same, deleting posts and started just posting a name or memory. I was retired early and as a Section leader I just wanted to stay and mentor. Help out the junior enlisted. My husband and and feel the void our Jr. Guys gave in the fulfilment of being there for them.
My best advice is there is no shame in either going or to stay. You will always be there for them. That is what the NCO corps does. Your Soldiers will still call or message you. Some take the time to visit or open their door.
It is okay to feel down or sad for those who left before you or much too soon. Best reward is to be there in the now for those who need you.

Response by SMSgt Matthew Hoyer made Sep 13 at 2016 9:10 PM

2016-09-13T21:10:44-04:00

It's all right man, we all have our moments. Have you taken a minute to talk to anyone about how you are feeling? Walking around depressed (my words, not yours) and disillusioned is a pretty crappy feeling. MFLC or 1SG or Chaplain or something? If nothing else, getting a chance to say it eyeball-to-eyeball with another human is pretty cathartic and i know that I personally feel a hell of a lot better when i've had a chance to flip a table in polite company. You know, the company that can handle that kind of stuff. Don't wander around feeling out of sorts like that; it's bad for the soul.