Does anyone else get uncomfortable when addressed by rank here on RP?

2015-12-07T10:01:27-05:00

I've been referred to a lot as "sir" and "Captain" here on Rally Point, but I've been out now for eight years. I'm just Bob. It makes me uncomfortable, not because I'm ashamed of my rank when I was in, but rather because as a veteran I feel like I have the same rank as all other vets, regardless of TIS or rank. What are your thoughts on this?

Response by SGT David T. made Dec 7 at 2015 10:03 AM

2015-12-07T10:03:16-05:00

I feel like you do. It is very awkward to be called Sergeant now after I been out so long. I wish we could set my title to Mr. or not have one at all. I am just David now, Sergeant Thomas isn't who I am anymore.

Response by PO3 Steven Sherrill made Dec 7 at 2015 10:04 AM

2015-12-07T10:04:49-05:00

Capt Bob Abbott I use sir here for emphasis, or tongue in cheek. Before I went into the Navy I worked in Security, and my supervisor actually had his rank within the security company printed on his checks. Not company checks mind you, but his personal Checking. He was so proud of it.

Response by SGT Christina Barron made Dec 7 at 2015 10:11 AM

2015-12-07T10:11:39-05:00

Very valid point. But I think we have customs and courtesies beat into us, so it's hard to let them go. The only officer I've never addressed as, "Sir," is my Dad.

Response by SGT Jose Perdelia-Torres made Dec 7 at 2015 10:22 AM

2015-12-07T10:22:21-05:00

I am a bit uncomfortable with it, I would love to just call people by their first names, but someone is always going to be offended in any case...So I address them as their rank or Sir. Sir I hope I answered your question. Have a good one Capt. Chambless!

edited CPT to Capt. so as to not offend this Sir, gentleman, Officer, man..lol

Response by MAJ David Wallace made Dec 7 at 2015 10:23 AM

2015-12-07T10:23:59-05:00

Totally with you on this, Bob! My title now is veteran since 2014!

Response by CPO Joseph Grant made Dec 7 at 2015 10:25 AM

2015-12-07T10:25:21-05:00

You can call me Joe, you can call me Chief, truly I don't care. Whatever makes people happy. I've been called names before that I'm sure I can't put on this site. I think it's more an active duty group that worries about it. Me I'm retired and the world can kiss my ass. I can prove I'm retired even have a pretty piece of paper they mailed me to prove it. LOL

Response by TSgt Eric Nordstrom made Dec 7 at 2015 10:25 AM

2015-12-07T10:25:24-05:00

When I was a child I was a cub scout, rank "Wolf". I was enlisted in the US Air Force and ranked a "TSgt". As a retiree and business owner, I am now an officer, rank "CEO". I tend to see the Air Force the same as I do the Cub Scouts now. Someday when I am elderly, I'll most likely see "CEO" as another transient phase.

Response by PO2 Wesley Wilson made Dec 7 at 2015 10:34 AM

2015-12-07T10:34:41-05:00

My son is now PO2 Private RallyPoint Member Im just Wesley, Hi Bob :)

Response by MCPO Roger Collins made Dec 7 at 2015 10:36 AM

2015-12-07T10:36:36-05:00

I usually use my first name for everyone to use, Its "Chief". Just an old joke, I wouldn't want people to think that a MCPO looks like I do today. It is fine for an intro by RP on our responses, but in the actual response, as Hillary would say, "What difference does it make?"

Response by SFC John Birks made Dec 7 at 2015 10:48 AM

2015-12-07T10:48:31-05:00

I'm my humble opinion, you've earned that rank and regardless of your status (active, reserve, retired) I will show that respect. You've earned it. Just like I've earned the right to be called a Tanker. Don't feel uncomfortable Sir, people are showing you respect.

Response by CSM David Heidke made Dec 7 at 2015 10:54 AM

2015-12-07T10:54:19-05:00

No Bob... I'm not. ;-)

Response by SGT Francis Wright made Dec 7 at 2015 11:05 AM

2015-12-07T11:05:59-05:00

Really doesn't matter to me. What ever the writer feels comfortable with. But if the respondent prefers less formal communication is ok too.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 7 at 2015 11:11 AM

2015-12-07T11:11:39-05:00

I guess I am in minority, I have no issue people calling me by my first name, last name, rank, or other military names like grunt, airborne, ground pounder, etc etc. It doesn't face me, especially not when I am among veterans. i assume that people use the epithet that makes them most comfortable, and I have no issue with that.

With that said, I understand your perspective - but uncomfortable, I am not.

I would never suggest that people call me by my rank ever... well, unless someone that I do not respect would have me address them as Doctor "because they have earned it" - well then I might just have to have them call me a title I have earned. But that would be the only time I can imagine.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 7 at 2015 11:25 AM

2015-12-07T11:25:29-05:00

Not uncomfortable, but I do not feel it necessary here. I have been out for some time and I am totally comfortable being addressed by name or rank. I do prefer the name my Momma gave me though!

Response by SGT Patrick Reno made Dec 7 at 2015 11:32 AM

2015-12-07T11:32:23-05:00

I do it out of respect. That's the kind of people we are. Your neighbor might say Hey Bob, but I am going to call you sir.

Response by LCDR Rabbah Rona Matlow made Dec 7 at 2015 11:43 AM

2015-12-07T11:43:49-05:00

Capt Bob Abbott I would gladly forgo my rank if it were an option. My title of Rabbah (Female version of rabbi) is far more important to me...

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 7 at 2015 11:53 AM

2015-12-07T11:53:27-05:00

I think I can speak for most of us still in the military that when we use your former rank or "sir/ma'am" when we address a veteran or retired member, it is done with the utmost respect. You have earned it, even if it was long ago.

Response by SCPO David Lockwood made Dec 7 at 2015 12:03 PM

2015-12-07T12:03:14-05:00

Why? I will never feel uncomfortable in here. I will continue to give the common courtesies toward rank but won't feel uncomfortable.

Response by MAJ David Vermillion made Dec 7 at 2015 12:03 PM

2015-12-07T12:03:55-05:00

To me when people use rank or sir, I take as a respectful tone. Nothing to be ashamed about in my opinion.

Response by Capt Mark Strobl made Dec 7 at 2015 12:08 PM

2015-12-07T12:08:34-05:00

Yep, I have my DD-214. My go by Mark or "Rawk" --depending on with whom I'm chatting. Some habits die hard, however. If I introduce a friend of mine in a professional setting, I will ask how they prefer to be introduced --especially if they are retired. On RP, the rules are slightly different: (active duty, retired, vets, and a few guests) It's social media. When in doubt, I go with the "reply" button which automatically populates the name/rank. After all, it's what we've already self-identified to. I'd say the only time to exercise deference would be conversations involving active duty members.

Response by SSG Paul Forel made Dec 7 at 2015 12:57 PM

2015-12-07T12:57:45-05:00

I would call you 'Sir' or 'Captain' as a starting point. Then we go with whatever you prefer.

It is basically me, acknowledging your rank and showing appropriate respect. This applies to everyone, no matter what their rank was. Here, at RP, we are in a military venue so it is not inappropriate for me to acknowledge your rank as a starting point.

In business, I receive resumes, some from current and former military. I always start by addressing that person by their rank, especially since most of them are or were either senior NCO's or officers.

It is telling which ones invite me to call them by their names and which ones do not.

Response by SGT Timothy Rocheleau made Dec 7 at 2015 1:59 PM

2015-12-07T13:59:17-05:00

Even in my everyday life when I address people it's "yes sir/ma'am", I was raised to be polite and continue to follow that upbringing for the most part. It's not just a rank, it's a title that you earned. Sure, you're no longer in the military but in this particular forum its military bases therefore the rank structure is a part of it. I think anyway.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 7 at 2015 2:15 PM

2015-12-07T14:15:32-05:00

More often than not, it is ingrained habit with me as to why I would still use the address of Sir/Ma'am.

Response by SFC Wade W. made Dec 7 at 2015 2:21 PM

2015-12-07T14:21:09-05:00

No.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 7 at 2015 3:21 PM

2015-12-07T15:21:44-05:00

I feel you. I don't like when people
Who I don't work for or with call me by my rank. I like just being called T.

Response by SSG Audwin Scott made Dec 7 at 2015 3:33 PM

2015-12-07T15:33:42-05:00

I don't get uncomfortable but I understand what you saying, I've been retired almost 10yrs, you can call me Audwin, Red, Scotty, whatever you feel comfortable with but the use of rank is no longer necessary, know longer who I am.

Response by SSG Audwin Scott made Dec 7 at 2015 3:42 PM

2015-12-07T15:42:12-05:00

Response by Capt Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 7 at 2015 3:46 PM

2015-12-07T15:46:59-05:00

You can call me Captain, Sgt, hey you, Don, etc. Anything but late for chow.

Seriously, having someone address me by rank (either enlisted or commissioned) is an honor.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 7 at 2015 4:24 PM

2015-12-07T16:24:32-05:00

This may have already been addressed. Part of the reason, Sir Captain Bob is the site's program to call out specific members by name (Capt Bob Abbott ) automatically pulls the name and rank that your profile shows.

I often use that feature because I know it gives that person a few points. But I will only use it once in a conversation and refer to other names as they wish. Bob.

Response by SPC(P) Jay Heenan made Dec 7 at 2015 4:51 PM

2015-12-07T16:51:54-05:00

I always thought it strange that people hold on the the rank from when they were in the service, but maybe I think that because I was merely a specialist. I think that Veterans on RP should just be our name, not our former rank. It is nice to "meet you" Bob, Merry Christmas and I hope you have a very good new year!

Response by Capt Thomas Heatley made Dec 7 at 2015 7:32 PM

2015-12-07T19:32:43-05:00

I don't notice rank so I guess it's OK either way. If it makes you edgy Bob it is.

Response by SGM David W. Carr LOM, DMSM MP SGT made Dec 7 at 2015 7:59 PM

2015-12-07T19:59:22-05:00

I think it depends and the situation. I like when I drive on Fort Hood and the guards address me by my Rank. I still have soldiers that remember me standing in front of my Battalion, during Brigade functions or boards. I will also use it on occasion with other Sergeant Majors that might have worked for me in the past.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 7 at 2015 8:05 PM

2015-12-07T20:05:56-05:00

This is a great question. I don't feel uncomfortable being addressed by the rank I held while serving. I am out of the service now, but I recognize the context of the website. The context of the website is military. So, I roll with it.

Response by MSG Wally Carmichael made Dec 7 at 2015 8:07 PM

2015-12-07T20:07:58-05:00

Great question Bob. When I drive through the gate of a base, I prefer being addressed as MSG over Sir or "Thank you for your service". On RP, Wally works best for me.

Response by Sgt Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 7 at 2015 8:25 PM

2015-12-07T20:25:02-05:00

I have no problem calling you Bob, now that I know you prefer it. It seems that a lot of people call me Sir or Mr., which I do not care for. I refer to officers as sir, ma'am, or by their rank, out of respect.

Response by PO2 Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 7 at 2015 8:30 PM

2015-12-07T20:30:00-05:00

I agree, I've been out for 32 years! It doesn't even make sense any more. I think in some ways it's why Veterans have a hard time telling others they were in the military. You feel like you need to be able to show something to validate that and it's just not true. I'm proud that I served and I'm proud of my job and I'm proud of those that continue to serve.

Response by PO1 John Miller made Dec 7 at 2015 9:00 PM

2015-12-07T21:00:24-05:00

The main reason I normally address people by rank here on RP is because I "tag" them in my posts, but I agree with you.

I get kind of weirded out/annoyed when I show my retired ID to come on base and people say "Thank you Petty Officer" or even worse "Sir," LOL. I'm not an Officer dammit, nor am I really IT1 Miller anymore. Sure I could technically be recalled since I am still part of the "Fleet Reserve" but since I'm not active duty anymore, John will work just fine.

Response by PO1 Brian Austin made Dec 7 at 2015 9:02 PM

2015-12-07T21:02:39-05:00

Personally it doesn't bother me either way. PO1, Brian, BA, it's all good.

Response by SPC David Glines made Dec 7 at 2015 9:06 PM

2015-12-07T21:06:35-05:00

It don't bother me my RET. DOD ID has it on it and I earned it and the people from USAA call me by it but to each his or hers own.

Response by Capt Richard I P. made Dec 7 at 2015 9:54 PM

2015-12-07T21:54:43-05:00

Capt Bob Abbott...I hear you bob. For Active Duty folks it is as natural as can be. For some vets it is nice to reconnect, for others it is more jarring. In the end I think the tagging makes sense for uniformity.

Response by 1SG William Svoboda made Dec 8 at 2015 10:00 AM

2015-12-08T10:00:34-05:00

I really don't pay too much attention to it because it only happens here and when using military facilities. It definitely is out of respect. In my case, I retired as a 1SG but earned a Ph.D. and was Dr Svoboda for the last 20 years, (damn I've been retired 20 years already), but each time I visit a base or go space A I'm referred to as Top, 1SG ect. As a second career I worked in the GS world and my CAC card read Dr ... and so I had my retired ID with 1SG and my CAC card with GS13, Dr on it. But the bottom line is while we are a society with labels we are after all, just fellow humans and respect aside and I think it's been said before, just roll with it. I never read a disrespectful comment here related to o's vs non coms or vs versa. As a side note, I remember a guest speaker at the NCO academy where I was a SGL, state during his presentation that the Noncommissioned Officers are "Officers". Non-COMMISSIONED but Officers nonetheless and we should embrace that similarity and act as a professional CORPS with the same approach as our Commissioned counterparts and realize that attitude will improve working relationships. Since then and I know it sounds weird, but I looked at my rank and other Non-Coms differently and found greater acceptance and improved relations. After all we are one force divided by traditions, and customs and courtesies. Be proud of who you are, what you earned, and carry yourself accordingly. One of my all time favorite quotes is Act as if Someone's looking All the Time, because in the end someONE is.

Response by SrA David Steyer made Dec 8 at 2015 11:37 PM

2015-12-08T23:37:04-05:00

I don't care, just don't call me late for dinner. LOL

Response by SFC Joseph Weber made Dec 9 at 2015 11:35 PM

2015-12-09T23:35:02-05:00

If were sitting in the bar drinking I'd call you Bob. Since you have the rank up there it just seems natural to call you Sir.

Response by LtCol Robert Quinter made Dec 10 at 2015 3:52 PM

2015-12-10T15:52:19-05:00

Really have no preference. I consider this group to be exceptional individuals who, in one way or the other have served our nation. They earned the right to call me whatever they like. Would like to avoid some of the monikers my wife lays on me

Response by MSgt Marvin Kinderknecht made Dec 26 at 2015 8:25 PM

2015-12-26T20:25:36-05:00

I am sorry Capt. but out of respect I will call you Capt. I don't know you personally so I feel out of place calling you Bob, unless you say so. I have a Maj (owner) and LTC who hunt on the same lease. Since we are all hunters, we go by first names. I had a 1st Lt. (while drinking at a bar) That his first name was "lieutenant". I said in that case, I am Sargent ---- and this is Airmen ---- and I think we should have another round. You earned the rank, so be proud but, you don't have to go around telling everybody your rank. This happened at the NCO club at Orlando AFB. The guy told this other guy--you can't talked to me that way-- i am an officer. The paratrooper cold cocked him and the manager threw him out/

Response by SCPO Charles Thomas "Tom" Canterbury made Dec 26 at 2015 8:53 PM

2015-12-26T20:53:18-05:00

While we should be respectful to EVERYONE on this post - this is not a military environment. I retired and hung up the uniform; as long as people are respectable to me they can call me Tom.

My real issue is how some folks are so snide and disrespectful. Had a fellow Chief make a snide remark on a post and I think that people need to think before they speak. Not saying my feelings were hurt - just really hate disrespect. He would not have dare said that to me in person and if he did I'd have fired back. We are all a part of the smallest fraction of our Nation's population and forever will be. I think we should regard each other as family or at least the family we never had. Just my $0.02...

Response by SGM Mikel Dawson made Dec 27 at 2015 12:02 AM

2015-12-27T00:02:36-05:00

I think it is what's instilled in us. Any time I am addressing someone I know was an officer, it's Sir, Ma'am or rank. It's just common respect.

Response by Cpl Clinton Britt made Dec 27 at 2015 1:18 PM

2015-12-27T13:18:07-05:00

I don't really think that anything is meant by it. For most of us it is respect. I have quite a few friends that are CSM and they are retired. In my opinion, they will always be a SgtMaj. I meet them half way. I address them by their rank and thier first name.

I do have a Col friend and his name is Dave. I call him Col Dave because calling him just Dave makes me feel wierd

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 28 at 2015 10:11 AM

2015-12-28T10:11:38-05:00

no i much appreciate this , and we all should be proud of what we are and once were.

Response by SGT Richard H. made Dec 29 at 2015 12:26 PM

2015-12-29T12:26:08-05:00

For me, "Sir" predates the Military. I still do it. Even when I answer the phone and someone says "Hey, Rich, this is Bob Chambless", you're likely to get a cheerful "Yes, Sir"

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 29 at 2015 1:43 PM

2015-12-29T13:43:19-05:00

I get that too. I think it has a lot to do with being an officer.

Response by Capt Skip Sponheim made Jan 20 at 2016 7:11 AM

2016-01-20T07:11:18-05:00

I AM A MEMBER OF THE MARINE CORPS LEAGUE. THE LEAGUE HAS NO RANK. THIS IS GOOD FOR THE ORGANIZTION AS IT STOPS A LOT OF "I AM BETTER THAN YOU" STUFF.BUT I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT I WISH, AT TIMES, THAT I COULD SWING A LITTLE WEIGHT. AS ORGANIZATIONS GO, THERE IS NONE FINER FOR BROTHERHOOD.

Response by LCDR Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 24 at 2018 1:52 PM

2018-04-24T13:52:29-04:00

Here, nah. Chaps, Rev., Dr., LT, pastor, padre, father, Adam (my first name, don’t really like posting that for the world to see, thus this is the only place you’ll see it on RP). Semper gumby. Doesn’t matter to me, 8th grade students have called me worse.
In uniform on orders with other SMs, I’m just plain old Chaps. Though the navy being what it is, I usually get called LT the first time, and then Chaplain when they figure out that’s what I am. I’m not here to bust your butt over a title, I’ve got enough anyway.
But if you’re older than me, well, I’m from the South. You’re a sir or ma’am. Always.

Response by 1stSgt Donald Smith made Aug 4 at 2018 2:50 PM

2018-08-04T14:50:24-04:00

I was a 1stSgt, 38 years ago, but now I'm a Vet.

When someone addresses me as 1stSgt, it's usually another Marine.

I'll say to them kiddingly, take your pack off Marine...........My name is Don.......smile and say thanks.

Response by SPC Joshua Ulch made Apr 1 at 2021 6:45 PM

2021-04-01T18:45:52-04:00

You earned your rank, so why be ashamed or embarrassed? Own it. You earned it.

Response by CWO3 Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 2 at 2021 9:34 AM

2021-04-02T09:34:38-04:00

Hey Bob. Just don't call me late for chow.