Does anyone have any tips for Officer Weddings?

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 26 May 2016 10:04:17 -0400

I'm currently engaged and plan on having a military wedding in June of 2017 after I graduate and receive my commission. Does anybody have tips, information about protocols or any other useful information? For example, should I wear my saber to the ceremony or only for the reception (cake cutting ceremony), etc.?

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made May 26 at 2016 10:13 AM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 26 May 2016 10:13:31 -0400

Check this site out. Might help.

http://weddingdetails.com/lore-tradition/u-s-military-traditions/

U.S. Military Traditions – Wedding Details

Requirements If the service is performed by a ACTIVE DUTY military chaplain, there is never a fee. However,for a Reserve/NG chaplain they only are pay for drill and weddings (with all the counseling) usually happens on their own time and they SHOULD be paid. a gift of money is VERY much appreciated! So often RC chaplains serve at small churches and live on very small salaries and compensating them for their time spent away from family is the...

Response by SSG Warren Swan made May 26 at 2016 10:24 AM

SSG Warren Swan — Thu, 26 May 2016 10:24:00 -0400

Make sure you invite EVERY enlisted person you can find. I can guarantee your wedding reception will be a day to remember. Make sure you invite a few CSM/SGM's too!! Ohh and Clint Eastwood...he talks to empty chairs. Congrats!

Response by LCDR Private RallyPoint Member made May 26 at 2016 11:02 AM

LCDR Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 26 May 2016 11:02:22 -0400

Military weddings can be great...and considering the occasion, most people will tend to default to "acceptance" of just about anything you and your bride (note: SHE is the OIC!) want-inside of good order and discipline, of course. A few things to avoid though: I would ensure everyone you're inviting to be in the wedding party has the same kit early on, and knows how to wear it properly-In the Navy, we usually do Service Dress White (chokers), and you'll have a sword arch comprised of the Best Man and Groomsmen. As new 2LTs, not everyone may have a saber, or the Army SDW equivalent-so you just want to make sure you're coordinating that well in advance. I'd dress "up" rather than down inside of that conformity. I wore my service sword at my wedding, but it can be a hassle-You'll need someone to take it from you when you leave-My Best Man took mine right after the ceremony. Also, you should technically be "covered" when under arms...I took my cover off when entering the church (not strictly correct), but then again, I was the "senior officer" in attendance, and "cleared" my plan with the NCOs present before hand...don't know if I would've done that as an ensign. If you want the "romance" of wearing it, but not the "headaches" associated...I'd remove it before the ceremony. Make sure your bride is prepared for the "slap" after she crosses the sword arch-if there's even the slightest chance she (or her family) will take offense-tell them to deal with it! No...seriously; just make sure she's ok with that tradition afore hand. Make sure you select your guys wisely: Your best friend may be a poor choice of Best Man if he can't hold his booze or freezes up speaking in public. You want someone you trust, and can handle the responsibilities. Just coming out of graduation, you'll have way more "close friends" than available positions...look for "creative" duties for those who may be offended by being left out; I've been asked to take charge of the marriage license before. A big way you can screw up is to not plan for attending VIP guests. If there's senior/general officers present, elected officials...make sure you're coordinating with the wedding planner (that was me for my wedding) to ensure proper honors and courtesies are rendered. Have a table in the vestibule for covers/gloves. I'd highly recommend recognizing VIPs in the program (yes, it is "your" day...but you want that visiting Two-Star on your side). Make your reception a two-part event: The first couple hours need to be for the family...and your more mature guests. Keep it formal, clean, and memorable. After all the old folks get tired and make their good-byes...that's when you bring out the vodka, the karaoke machine, and the antics. Above all-keep this in mind; your wife's been waiting for this day for a long time...how you make it, is how she'll remember it.

Response by CAPT Kevin B. made May 26 at 2016 11:21 AM

CAPT Kevin B. — Thu, 26 May 2016 11:21:40 -0400

The biggest faux pas I recall is wearing the sword (weapon) inside the church. It's disrespectful of the House you're in. Be sure to check with their policy. Even if OK, I'd go for the respect piece. It also frees up the groomsmen to be better ushers without the hardware getting in the way. A separate table which the covers and swords placed in the narthex is a nice touch. It's just a minute on the way out to gear up for the arch and butt whack.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Aug 28 at 2018 2:11 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Tue, 28 Aug 2018 14:11:05 -0400

Don't charge folks $1500 to attend it :)