Does it offend you when people dont use social courtesies that are religion-based?

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 02 May 2021 20:27:31 -0400

It has become common practice to say "bless you" when someone sneezes, avoid certain phrases like "oh god," "god d***," and "for the love of god," and the same for phrases implementing the name Jesus in the same manner. However, recognizing that we are not all of one cloth or faith, does it offend you for others to utilize these as social colloquialisms? Do you feel that your values are attacked? Or do you simply ignore it, accept it, move on, etc? If you do get offended by it, do you speak on it, or just learn to live with it? What do you think RP?

Response by TSgt George Rodriguez made May 2 at 2021 8:43 PM

TSgt George Rodriguez — Sun, 02 May 2021 20:43:12 -0400

I use that phrase too often. It is against one of the 10 commandments. After using it I ask the Lords forgiveness. I'm trying to break that habit by saying Hoover Dam.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made May 2 at 2021 9:56 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 02 May 2021 21:56:29 -0400

Most likely I will ignore it if I don’t know the person. If I know the person, I will let them know I’m not comfortable with taking the name of God in vain. That being said: my experiences in the military are most don’t use the name of God in vain, they curse just about anything but they leave God alone. God knows I can curse like a sailor sometimes. :)

Response by Capt Gregory Prickett made May 2 at 2021 10:29 PM

Capt Gregory Prickett — Sun, 02 May 2021 22:29:50 -0400

I usually respond with something along the lines of "Jesus f'ing christ, when you Christians start worrying about offending non-believers, that's when I'll start worrying about your feelings."

Response by CSM Carl Cunningham made May 3 at 2021 9:49 AM

CSM Carl Cunningham — Mon, 03 May 2021 09:49:53 -0400

SPC Private RallyPoint Member , there are two things I NEVER discuss while in uniform, religion and politics. NEVER.

Response by SSG Paul Headlee made May 3 at 2021 10:16 AM

SSG Paul Headlee — Mon, 03 May 2021 10:16:21 -0400

I have uttered the phrase God damned, more times than I can count. A few years ago I discovered that all bibles are not the King James version, which takes a bit of patience to read and still often seems ambiguous for some reason. I had a lifetime's worth of questions when I discovered the New International Version and wound up reading quite a bit of it. Now I recognize that I was not as funny as I thought I was and quietly go about the business of living my life while trying to do things and be things that would tend to please God instead of offending Him. Same goes for Jesus. When we offend God we are playing a dangerous game. Do as you wish. He imbued you with free will because He wants you to freely choose Him over sin. Its still a battle for me but I'm getting a grip on things that I couldn't when I was more brash and ignorant than I am now. I had to experience sin in order to be sufficiently revulsed by it later. I'm not a Bible thumper, I don't think that I'm closer to God than you are and I don't consider this preaching. I'm just trying to give you a straight answer.

Response by Lt Col Jim Coe made May 3 at 2021 10:22 AM

Lt Col Jim Coe — Mon, 03 May 2021 10:22:37 -0400

I try hard to follow: do not take the Lord’s Name in vain. I generally let others tend to their own sins. No person is sinless; especially me. I learned long ago not to be offended bu the little stuff. I did correct my kids. Hopefully with good effect.

Response by SFC Casey O'Mally made May 3 at 2021 10:34 AM

SFC Casey O'Mally — Mon, 03 May 2021 10:34:52 -0400

My religion is not your religion. Yours is not mine. Therefore how you choose to speak about your gods (or lack thereof) is not my business. And how I choose to speak about my God is not really any of your business.

That being said, I have noticed that it is a particularity of English that we feel the need to save people's souls when they sneeze.

German/Dutch: Gesundheit/Gezondheid (Good health)
Spanish/Italian: Salud/Salute (health)
French: à tes/vos souhaits (to your wishes)
Russian: будьте здоровы (be healthy)
English: Bless you!/God Bless You!

Response by SSG Robert Perrotto made May 3 at 2021 11:04 AM

SSG Robert Perrotto — Mon, 03 May 2021 11:04:01 -0400

bottom line up front - I take the motivation of the phrases instead of the theological bullshit. Someone says "God Bless you" to me after I sneeze, I say thank you, and move on. When I say happy yuletide to my Christian and Jewish friends, they say thank you.

We NEED to stop getting offended by stupid shit, and move on to actual important shit. This is what is called a "privileged first world problem"

Response by Lt Col Timothy Cassidy-Curtis made May 3 at 2021 11:48 AM

Lt Col Timothy Cassidy-Curtis — Mon, 03 May 2021 11:48:41 -0400

I would pay less attention to the form of their words than the content of their hearts.

Response by SSgt Christophe Murphy made May 3 at 2021 11:52 AM

SSgt Christophe Murphy — Mon, 03 May 2021 11:52:13 -0400

It doesn't offend me. But in general if something I do or something someone else does is offensive I try to open a dialogue with them. Sometimes it is affective other times you just cut your losses and move on. But that's part of being an adult.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made May 3 at 2021 1:56 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 03 May 2021 13:56:39 -0400

I don't ever say "bless you." I don't say anything when someone sneezes. There's really no reason to say anything when someone sneezes or when I sneeze. I can't help it. They can't help it. The only reason people ever said "god bless you" is they thought when you sneezed your soul could escape or some nonsense.

I have said god damn it. I have said Jesus f*in Christ. Usually I say oh for f* sake. Or just "damn it." Lately I'll say f* my life...

Honestly if someone feels like people saying that attacks their values, they may want to reexamine their values. If you're so certain of your faith, it shouldn't be that easy for someone to rattle it by saying "god damn it" or something similar.

Response by MAJ Matthew Arnold made May 3 at 2021 3:21 PM

MAJ Matthew Arnold — Mon, 03 May 2021 15:21:27 -0400

Religion and culture are inseparable. Religion is part of the culture. Atheism or agnosticism is the "religion" of those who don't believe in a god. It fits into the culture in their niche the same way religion does. Our North American society includes many cultures brought here by families who emigrated from all over the world. So, we share with each other, and sometimes we grate on each others sensibilities. For example: haven't we all lovingly approved and even longed for the closeness of our Mexican-American friend's family, and the next week been irritated by their regimented Catholic practices. (Just an example, no offense intended.) That's the beauty of North American society, we all try to get along. I hope we never get to the point of the Balkan states where they are killing each other over religion and culture.

Response by SSG Edward Tilton made May 3 at 2021 5:36 PM

SSG Edward Tilton — Mon, 03 May 2021 17:36:23 -0400

my Grandfather would pound on the table and tell everyone that they dare not use the name of the Lord wrongly in his house. His wife was the same. It was one of the few things that could upset him. To this day I wince when someone does waiting for him to return from the dead. I avoid it as much as possible

Response by SMSgt Ed W. made May 3 at 2021 5:54 PM

SMSgt Ed W. — Mon, 03 May 2021 17:54:48 -0400

To begin, The only folk religion I ever knew were the ones who attended regularly attended where I did. And I think I just adapted to local custom somehow. Basically, I have seen both sides, and "sometimes" speaking up will tone it down a little.

Response by LT Stewart Herrick made May 3 at 2021 9:52 PM

LT Stewart Herrick — Mon, 03 May 2021 21:52:10 -0400

I'm not even sure what "religion based social courtesies" are. More often than not, references to God
or Jesus in social discourse have nothing to do with religion. Get over it. It's called freedom of speech!
Ever hear the saying that someone "swears like a drunken sailor".

Response by SFC Randy Hellenbrand made May 3 at 2021 10:08 PM

SFC Randy Hellenbrand — Mon, 03 May 2021 22:08:50 -0400

Not one bit.

Response by SPC Brian Jones made May 4 at 2021 9:22 AM

SPC Brian Jones — Tue, 04 May 2021 09:22:05 -0400

LOL This one is a mine waiting to go boom! My mouth got really bad while I was in, worse after I went into law enforcement. I know it is my fault no one else's and I fight to think about what I am about to say before it comes out. Sometimes it works, other times not so well. It's not other peoples feelings I am thinking about but my own. I would rather have someone come to me and let me know that they would rather me curb my tongue. This allows me to know and reminds me to think first. And I do the same. A few crude words are fine, and sometimes gets the point across better for me

Response by CW3 Kevin Storm made May 4 at 2021 10:04 AM

CW3 Kevin Storm — Tue, 04 May 2021 10:04:54 -0400

My opinion, no it doesn't nor should it.

Response by SSG Edward Tilton made May 4 at 2021 2:13 PM

SSG Edward Tilton — Tue, 04 May 2021 14:13:10 -0400

The movie JOJO RABBIT has a good sequence of Who is there?
a Jew
Gesundheidt, who is there
A Jew
And on and on

Response by SFC Gary (Bigsarge) Portier USARMY RET. made May 9 at 2021 9:04 AM

SFC Gary (Bigsarge) Portier USARMY RET. — Sun, 09 May 2021 09:04:14 -0400

Nope, and it shouldn't, For many it is just a Courtesy and does not mean to them what it means to others.

Response by SFC Michael Hasbun made May 10 at 2021 9:41 AM

SFC Michael Hasbun — Mon, 10 May 2021 09:41:10 -0400

That's a practice that has always made me giggle. At one time people believed a man’s soul could be inadvertently thrust from his body by an explosive sneeze, thus “Bless you!” was a protective oath uttered to safeguard the temporarily expelled and vulnerable soul from being snatched up by Satan (who was always lurking nearby). The purpose of the oath was to cast a temporary shield over the flung-out soul which would protect it just long enough for it to regain the protection of the corporeal body.

Response by CPO Kenneth Kalish made May 10 at 2021 2:47 PM

CPO Kenneth Kalish — Mon, 10 May 2021 14:47:42 -0400

I don't respond. Religion is not part of my make up, so I just take it in stride.
I find it odd that your question offers samples of using "god" (not capitalized, so could mean Zeus, Akhenaten, or my apple tree) and then rolls in Jesus. There are more than a thousand Christian denominations in the U.S. There are also half a dozen Muslim, half a dozen Jewish, Sikh, Hindu, AuDai, a few different Buddhist, and the great tent of Unitarian, not to mention the other small sects.
If you choose to be offended by what someone else says, that's the First Amendment at work, one small part of that Constitution you have sworn to defend.

Response by SSG Gregg Mourizen made Jun 14 at 2021 2:21 AM

SSG Gregg Mourizen — Mon, 14 Jun 2021 02:21:40 -0400

I want to say, "Why get offended?"
If someone is considerate enought to offer a blessing from their religion, they are showing you respect and courtesy based on their cultural beliefs. Be as thankful as you feel they should be with yours.

However...with that said...
If after you make your explitive, someone does take offense to it. Just stop/avoid using it.
I don't know how many times, I heard the excuses, "Ah nobody cares if I say it", "Why do you care?", "what difference does it make?".
If someone says something, respect them enough to, at the least, make an effort to avoid using the phrase, near them. At a minimum you should recognise their feelings on the issue.
I often apologised for my language, not because anyone found it offensive, but because I had kids, and did not want them talking like street trash, just because I was. It would take weeks to clean up my language after a day in the field. It was just easier to make a conscious effort avoid the language.

Religious issues, take the time to learn the why's. What would they prefer you say?

If you run into one of these situations, you might teach yourself something to use in another language. Be careful though, I came home from deployment swearing in spanish, only to slip in front of my Hispanic mother, and then proceded to walk into prodominantly hispanic units, with a fowl mouth. I don't know how many people I knew coming from Germany throwing around "Schiza!"
Find something more appropriate. My grandparents often used "caramba!", I later picked up "Inshallah", and even used the proper names for some paracitic dieases. Whatever works for you.

If you are offended by something someone said, I respect your courage to say something, but just remember it is a two-way street. You need to be respectful as well. Make your point and then drive on. If reminders don't work, you have to ask yourself, "is it worth making a case out of the problem?"
Do what you feel you have to do.

If someone takes offense at something you said, there is probably a good reason. Just make the effort to respect their feelings.

Response by CWO3 Robert Fong made Jun 14 at 2021 2:51 PM

CWO3 Robert Fong — Mon, 14 Jun 2021 14:51:41 -0400

Specialist, I do not get offended at all because I know at end of the day God or whatever your higher power may be is the only one that will pull your butt out of a serious jam. I am glad that my people believe in something. I'm not woke! I don't operate on feeeeeeeelings. I can assure anyone that they will become born again once they experience the Bearing Sea in a rage, or being trapped in a foxhole with real mean people popping caps at you, or how about when a SAM is about ready to give you a serious colonoscopy? No matter your Service or MOS we are in the business of death and destruction, and we like to think we do it best, which means the other4 guy possibly has the same idea and is out to prove it. So, when some guy says, "God help us?" My response is, "Geeze, I hope he does.", I don't get offended.

Response by COL John Power made Jun 18 at 2021 10:57 AM

COL John Power — Fri, 18 Jun 2021 10:57:49 -0400

Saying "bless you" when someone sneezes I wouldn't interpret as having religious overtones at all. For me that would be a stretch. The use of terms like OMG has become to common to try to modify. On the other hand some invoking the name coupled with other words is simply obscene language. I might comment "nice language" or something like that. The use of profanity to express ones self, except under some specific circumstances for effect, is distasteful to me. Has nothing to do with religion. It just is offensive to many people and reflects poorly on the speaker.

Response by CPL Joe Zaucha made Jun 18 at 2021 1:35 PM

CPL Joe Zaucha — Fri, 18 Jun 2021 13:35:34 -0400

I am Christian but often use those phrases. I even told somebody that to remember Jesus loves them, of course I think they’re a fucking idiot.

Response by SN Dale "CG" Veach made Jul 23 at 2021 4:13 PM

SN Dale "CG" Veach — Fri, 23 Jul 2021 16:13:44 -0400

I could care less how someone might use the "religious" or christian phrases. People need to get lives and stop all this nit picking and individual judgements. GROW UP people!