Ever felt like giving up, throwing a towel? How did you overcome?

2014-09-14T11:59:45-04:00

Some of us may have noticed a few riffles circulating around Rallypoint recently. You're told to 'toughen up and suck it up' all day, but something's still holding you back.

How did you overcome that mental block? What tips can you offer for the forum to stay strong? Fire away!

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 14 at 2014 12:15 PM

2014-09-14T12:15:10-04:00

Learn to adapt and overcome, and have a lot of faith works for me. Life will throw you many curves, if you get knocked down work hard to get back up.

Response by Cpl Michael Strickler made Sep 14 at 2014 12:17 PM

2014-09-14T12:17:57-04:00

I posted this on another thread a little bit back.

https://www.rallypoint.com/answers/what-is-the-best-vets-organization-to-prevent-vets-suicide?page=1&urlhash=215349#215349

My main thought is that everyone is unique and everyone will overcome their deamons in their own way. For me it is my family, reading, gaming, and like 99% the Carolina Panthers not eating turf all season long...

What is the best vets organization to prevent vets' suicide? | RallyPoint

I am a vet and want to do more to support our troops coming back from combat tours. With the number of vets committing suicide exceeding the number of combat fatalities, we all need to do more. The young marine featured on 60 Minutes got to me right under the US Army. To see his dad and his best friend blaming themselves for his death was tragic. We can prevent suicide. We can do more. Suggestions?

Response by MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca made Sep 14 at 2014 8:48 PM

2014-09-14T20:48:54-04:00

I'm there now. Every morning I just look at this and drive on.

Response by SGT Richard H. made Sep 14 at 2014 9:33 PM

2014-09-14T21:33:34-04:00

Like many here, I've been there. I did "fine" with my transition for years. I took crappy jobs in the beginning, and just like I did in the Military, I rose above and overcame....for years. Then about 2008 I lost my job. My company crashed. I did OK. I lived off savings, then ran up some debt, but I rose above and eventually found another job. Then THAT company crashed. I had no savings left, had debt, and ended up losing a house, a truck, and a boat....$h1t got real then. I eventually found another job, moved back to Texas, then started my own company...which turned out to be kind of a non-starter. $h!t got real again. All is well now, and I thank god for the strength my wife has given me, but it got rocky more than once. I think at times what got me through was telling myself that I've dealt with worse....I thank the Army for that....and my wife for sticking by me a couple of times when I would have been fine with going "minimalist" if you know what I mean.

Response by PO2 Rocky Kleeger made Sep 14 at 2014 10:25 PM

2014-09-14T22:25:44-04:00

I'm retired from the military, but I am now a Navy contractor. I work at an FRC. The biggest problem I have is that no one there knows my job, but everyone is pretty sure I'm doing it wrong...including the Navy personnel. As we were preparing for an AMI, I was told to do a lot of stuff by both Navy and civilian that were wrong. No one would back me up. I threw in the towel and decided to let them have their way and fail.

How did I overcome that? Pride. I have never even taken a hit on an AMI, let alone failed one, and this one was my 7th. A week before, I put everything in the shop to what the inspectors were going to want. I took zero hits and my record is still unblemished. Pride helped me overcome

Response by SGT Suraj Dave made Sep 15 at 2014 12:20 AM

2014-09-15T00:20:44-04:00

Praying. Seriously.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 15 at 2014 12:22 AM

2014-09-15T00:22:06-04:00

PO1 Private RallyPoint Member I try to focus on the long term goals I have and then break them up into smaller, closer, goals and push out the bad thoughts. We all hit bumps. We all fail and fall down. It is what we do next that shows our character. If anyone said that they did it all by themselves, be careful. We all need help and sometimes the next step after falling or being pushed down is to ask for help. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness or something to be embarrassed about. Swallow your pride and ask for it. I ask CH (CPT) Private RallyPoint Member all the time for assistance. He offers good wise words that I am able to be inspired by and to move forward. I have a support system of friends and family. Develop that and be someone's support as well. I sometimes have a really bad day and find out that one of my friends is having a bad day as well but I am able to help them and it helps me feel better and I can move forward knowing I helped them.

And sometimes you just need to know when to take a break and step back. Come back to it later if you are able to (if mission allows).

Response by SFC Mark Merino made Sep 15 at 2014 8:15 PM

2014-09-15T20:15:35-04:00

PO1 Private RallyPoint Member et als, I learned (very late in life, unfortunately), to quit letting other things define you. The military won't keep you forever, so if you let it define you, the transition can be overwhelming. Relationships can't define you. If your partner dies, divorce, married in name only, you will feel like a failure or remain miserable. If you let your children define you, they will grow up and move on with their life. The empty nest will eat you alive. NEVER let success define you. Situations and circumstances change in the blink of an eye. Being a millionaire won't help if you have to step on people to get t the top. As long as God welcomes me home when my time is done nothing else matters. That is what will get ME to the finish line. I wish nothing but happiness and love for all of you, but life can be nightmarish. There is misery, death, and evil all around us. There are those out there that take great pleasure is watching you suffer and curse your success. Keep your focus. Take responsibility for YOUR actions. Let God judge those who do you harm and injustice.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 15 at 2014 11:17 PM

2014-09-15T23:17:13-04:00

It depends on your meaning of "throwing in the towel" PO1 Private RallyPoint Member.

Response by SFC(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 16 at 2014 8:47 AM

2014-09-16T08:47:27-04:00

What keeps me going is my wife and two kids. Also I had a friend who "gave up" and I saw how it affected everyone around him, it was one of my driving factors in joining the military actually. I know that there are times when we are all down, and out, and that we feel like throwing it in is the only answer, but it never truly is. There are always ways to get above and around everything. The things that most of us have seen and experienced would reign havoc on the average person, but we are able to "Bounce not Break" as my MRT classes would put it. I think that the most important thing is knowing that we all have someone to talk to, which is one of the best things about wearing our Uniforms, is that no matter where in the world I am, I know that if I see another service member, I will be able to bond with them, and that I know that they will help me if I need it.

Response by CPT Richard Riley made Sep 16 at 2014 9:44 AM

2014-09-16T09:44:15-04:00

I have made a promise to myself, that I will make at least one positive step each day in this direction, and each night will turn around, look back to assure myself that I have indeed keep my principles and values intact. If you stick vehemently to your principles and values, beginning with your small space (wherever that may be) and continue to make strides keeping these principles and values at your forefront, you are being honest with yourself and everyone around you. There is no question what you stand for and stand upon because you are rooted in what you believe. Life does not give us a 'rewind' button, so we cannot undo what has already happened. We can change what we do today, tomorrow, and each day after. I have to believe that in the end, my principles and values will place me on the positive side of this mess, and I will be the same person then that I am now.

Response by SFC Michael Hasbun made Sep 16 at 2014 10:28 AM

2014-09-16T10:28:12-04:00

Whatever the issue is, prepare yourself to deal with it effectively. Whether thats research, PT, classes, what have you, but prepare yourself. Then, do an honest self assessment of your strengths and weaknesses, and formulate a plan for dealing with the situation that leverages and counterbalances those strengths and weaknesses.

But overall, have some faith in yourself. You CAN overcome anything, you just have to have the patience, dedication and courage to see it through. Relying on external factors might get you through a little bit in life, but self preparation, self awareness and self confidence will take you much further...

Response by SFC Nestor Nievesmoran made Sep 16 at 2014 11:05 AM

2014-09-16T11:05:54-04:00

It is ok to take a knee, take a deep breath, and regroup when things do not go as you expected. It is not ok to find excuses to justify your weakness. When someone is feeling down is not the time to be asking how they feel, are you ok, or what is going on, it is the time to stand next to them and help them get up back on their feet. Emotions develop weakness and the mind set the limits, no time to feel sorry, get up and move on.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 11 at 2015 7:43 PM

2015-07-11T19:43:03-04:00

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