Family separation pay? (Pay due to a spouse who leaves while not divorced?)?

2018-09-13T20:26:52-04:00

A friend of mine is going through a divorce and his wife is leaving, with their daughter. She’s claiming he owes her $7xx.xx a month in some sort of family separation pay? Now he’s all for having to pay it but she’s claiming it’s some sort of regulation and is saying it’s required from each pay check or something to that degree. We’ve both been trying to find where ever it says he’s required to pay her x amount while separated and going through the process of a divorce, but can’t. Does anyone have any input or something they can explain or add to clarify this situation for us? Is he required to pay her anything? What are his options?

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 13 at 2018 8:38 PM

2018-09-13T20:38:57-04:00

Required to give BAH but I'm not finding anything requiring Separation Pay to be handed over.

AR 608-99 Family Support, Child Custody and Paternity is the reg to look into.

Response by LtCol Robert Quinter made Sep 13 at 2018 8:59 PM

2018-09-13T20:59:15-04:00

SSG(P) Livingston gave you the Army Reg, but the rules in each branch are different. In the absence of a civil court order, the military cannot force any payment, but generally, if you provide an amount equal to your housing allowance plus some for the child, you can defend yourself against heavy criticism.
Some military have been cajoled into providing support by allusions to the command being able to withdraw at least a portion of their quarters allowance (or all if they require moving into the barracks) for not providing support to dependents, and of course, there is always Art 134.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 13 at 2018 9:11 PM

2018-09-13T21:11:39-04:00

Really the family support regulation is supposed to be for those who are geographically separated - not when someone files for divorce. Commands don't usually get involved unless an issue arises.

My ex husband tried to pull this shit on me when I kicked him out and filed for divorce. He heard from someone while he was in jail in Riley County (after he assaulted me) that soldiers have to provide for spouses if separated. Now granted I was dumb and it was six months later and I was at a different duty station when I filed - but he ended up at his dad's. He did manage to manipulate me out of $400 the first month after I kicked him out by lying about getting a job or other shit. I figured out he had no job and was using meth. He said he'd call my leadership - I said go ahead and try to figure out who they are and their numbers and they knew the situation.

Plus these are just guidelines - nothing can be mandated especially when a court order comes into play about support (child support, spousal, alimony, etc). Until there's a court order, no garnishment can happen either. The soldier has to set up an allotment.

It depends on the situation honestly. In my situation, there's no command (no decent command) that would authorize a soldier to pay support to their abuser who they left. I think sometimes people just get coaxed into providing something so an issue doesn't arise and the leadership can avoid getting dragged into it.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Sep 13 at 2018 9:13 PM

2018-09-13T21:13:09-04:00

He needs to see an attorney before it turns into a gaggle or JAG. In the absence of divorce decrees and separation papers, his financial obligation to her is the difference of BAH with dependents and BAH without dependents. That is not a lot of money.

Response by Maj John Bell made Sep 13 at 2018 9:28 PM

2018-09-13T21:28:43-04:00

Go to the S-1. Ask to see the pay clerk. Ask the pay clerk your question. If they don't know the answer ask to speak to the S-1 Chief. If the S-1 Chief doesn't know, ask to speak with Disbursing.

Unless the person answering your question, is in the above group of individuals, their opinon and 99 cents still leaves you a penny shy of a small coffee at McDonald's.

Response by LT Brad McInnis made Sep 13 at 2018 10:02 PM

2018-09-13T22:02:41-04:00

Need to talk to a JAG, they are going to have the most up to date regs. Anything else is just speculation, and could really cost them... Best of luck!

Response by SPC Michael Dillon made Sep 13 at 2018 10:39 PM

2018-09-13T22:39:51-04:00

Sounds like she is looking for spousal support. He should not pay a dime unless a court order has been issued.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 13 at 2018 10:49 PM

2018-09-13T22:49:39-04:00

SM needs to go to JAG, they can let him know what amount he is obligated to pay since she left on her own free will. To ensure he doesn’t get screwed over, legal uses a formula to calculate (if any) the amount he may have to give her.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 13 at 2018 10:51 PM

2018-09-13T22:51:54-04:00

Also, he will not receive family separation pay because she left on her own, the military was not responsible for the sepayion of family, example includes deployment, hardship tour to a family restricted area.

Response by SGM Bill Frazer made Sep 13 at 2018 10:59 PM

2018-09-13T22:59:54-04:00

Suggest you tell you buddy to go to JAG and the S1. He is responsible for supporting his wife/child- need to ask the experts for what that means.,

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 13 at 2018 11:41 PM

2018-09-13T23:41:33-04:00

It's in the reg as SSG Livingston pointed out. While others may say it's "speculation" or "just a guideline" it's pretty cut and dry. In the absence of any agreement or court order the commander is OBLIGATED to become involved under the regulation.
This is such a common question to the IG that the Army recently wrote an article about it.
https://www.army.mil/article-amp/205973/dependent_financial_support_and_ar_608_99

Dependent Financial Support and AR 608-99

ANSBACH, Germany -- As members of the United States Army, Soldiers do not just represent themselves and their families, but also the United States Army. As a result, the Army requires Soldiers to manage their personal affairs in a way that does not bring discredit upon themselves or the United States Army. Specifically, the Army expects Soldiers to maintain reasonable contact with family members to ensure dependent well-being does not become a...

Response by LCpl Ferdinand Hughes made Sep 14 at 2018 9:27 AM

2018-09-14T09:27:35-04:00

Technically you are still married in the eyes of the military. You will continue to receive BAH with Dependents until the divorce is final. As far as family separation pay or any other pay the spouse is demanding or thinks she is entitled to, I would go to JAG. As far as the child is concerned, is the mother trying for physical custody and trying to get child support?

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 14 at 2018 9:59 AM

2018-09-14T09:59:53-04:00

Tell your friend to go talk to JAG and a civilian lawyer about the divorce if he hasn't. That's his best option right there.

Response by Patricia Overmeyer made Sep 14 at 2018 11:24 AM

2018-09-14T11:24:32-04:00

Your friend should not pay her anything from the family separation pay until such time that he has done the following:
1. Speak to a JAG attorney to determine if there are actual regulations regarding the payment of family separation directly to her. I am not aware of any such regulation in any of the branches. There are regulations from each branch that delineate exactly what is to be paid to the STBX if they are no longer living together and there is no court order regarding child support/spousal maintenance and/or family support. The Air Force regulation is exactly two paragraphs. The Marine regulation will require a mathematician to figure out the formula (yes, it's that complicated and drives me up a wall when I have to figure it out). Start with those regulations to determine exactly what will need to be paid.
Be aware that if she starts going up the chain I'm sure he will catch hell until she quits squawking. From the been there, had to deal with that files, if she doesn't stop squawking at some point in the chain the officers will pull rank and place him back on base without BAH. I had a client whose ex was two officers down from the Commander of the Pacific Fleet before they yanked my client from his off base housing to live in the barracks. Her mandatory support payments went way down and she went crying to the court. Didn't get much sympathy when I pulled out 50+ pages of her emails.
2. Speak to a family law attorney who deals with military issues in family law. He cannot rely on JAG to give him advice on the state family law. I've had way too many clients come into my office saying JAG told them this was the state law. JAG was completely wrong on their advice. The reason for this is that JAG officers are not licensed to practice in every state. Each state's family law rules, case law and statutes are different. I understand that JAG likes to be helpful and they do a good job when it comes to federal rules and case law and with the military regulations. They just don't have the expertise when it comes to state laws.
Whether or not family separation pay is considered "community property" will depend on each state's interpretation of "community property". Whether or not family separation pay will need to be equitably divided will also depend on each state's interpretation of "community property". In all states, family separation pay may be utilized in calculating child support but only for as long as the SM is receiving it. If there is already a divorce filing and a request for temporary orders, then it may fall into one of two categories, community property or income for child support calculation purposes.
I apologize if this is rather long, but IAAL who practices in the area of family law with an emphasis on military issues. He really does need to have a family law attorney who does military issues in family law. There are several pitfalls that can occur regarding division of military retirement pay, calculation of child support/spousal maintenance, child legal decision making and parenting time for SMs when they TDY/PCS/deploy, etc.

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 6 at 2020 4:52 PM

2020-04-06T16:52:59-04:00

Go to ADC bro. She's trying to screw him over