Fraternization: Should a married couple be able to be in 1SG/ CO position in the same Troop/Company?

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 19 Mar 2014 09:04:39 -0400

Also, if a SGT meets a SPC in the same Troop/Company, but are not in the same element, should they be able to date?

I was asked this. I think I know what most people will say and reference though.

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 19 at 2014 9:11 AM

MSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 19 Mar 2014 09:11:59 -0400

Absolutely not...in no circumstance. Way too many blurred lines. As for junior enlisted dating, that should be left to common sense. If either is in the others chain then the answer should be no.

This is just asking for problems and a breakdown in good order and discipline.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 19 at 2014 9:19 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 19 Mar 2014 09:19:59 -0400

married soldier should be moved to a different Battalion or company or troop. I have seen the impact it has on soldiers who work in the same company and the outcome was not good. when one received a negative rating there significant other tried to use there rank to get there rater to change there mind. It did not work out eventually 1SG stepped in and rectified the situation and moved one of them to a different company.

Response by CSM Michael J. Uhlig made Mar 19 at 2014 9:33 AM

CSM Michael J. Uhlig — Wed, 19 Mar 2014 09:33:36 -0400

Regulatory guidance is within AR 600-20.....I will try to share some common sense herein below.

I will tell you this, regardless of the interpersonal chemistry between the couple, and they just might be that dynamic duo, there are going to be days with differences between them. If you don't want an episode of Jerry Springer within the formation, it is just bad business to keep them that close.....both will have their own friends/support group and when the drama with momma starts, you will see the effectiveness of the unit decrease and indiscipline increase.

It's been my experience to ensure they are enrolled in the Married Army Couples Program (for Soldiers) and ensure the couple is in a different unit as much as possible.

If you don't get control of this very very quickly it will be a headache for the entire unit until that couple PCS's.

FYSA, be aware the that very reg I mentioned earlier in this post is being released later this year AND WILL INCLUDE fraternization between NCO's and Soldiers specifically addressed. It is only between Officer & Enlisted right now. Once again, FYSA.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 19 at 2014 11:46 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 19 Mar 2014 11:46:38 -0400

For the first question, should a married couple be allowed to fill the 1SG and CO position within a company: NO!!! While that may seem ideal to the couple, it would create a very difficult situation as far as exercising command authority. How likely do you think it is that the CO would be able to effectively exert command authority over the 1SG if they are married? I think this just opens the door to conflicts of interest. I personally would have a difficult time keeping my personal and professional relationships separate.

As far as a SGT and SPC in different PLTs or elements, I think that is fine. As long as one will not be in the chain of command of the other, then I don't see it as being a problem.

These are good questions though, because it is something we will eventually run into. Maybe not the CO/1SG situation, but the situation of a SGT dating a SPC in the company.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 19 at 2014 11:49 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 19 Mar 2014 11:49:36 -0400

No.....and no. Reference common sense

Response by 1SG Michael Blount made May 5 at 2014 4:50 PM

1SG Michael Blount — Mon, 05 May 2014 16:50:45 -0400

Short answer - HELL NO

Response by PO1 William "Chip" Nagel made May 5 at 2014 5:52 PM

PO1 William "Chip" Nagel — Mon, 05 May 2014 17:52:55 -0400

When I was in they had to be in different chain of commands. They had to seperate them as much as possible within the system. I can only remember one couple in the same chain but they had them on different sections.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 1 at 2014 9:07 AM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 01 Oct 2014 09:07:17 -0400

Short answer is no. Too easy for personal issues to affect work performance leading to a negative command climate. On the other end of the spectrum, perception can constitute reality (favoritism). Although I will say that there are some CDR / 1SG command teams out there that should seek marriage-like counseling.

Response by 1SG Michael Blount made Oct 2 at 2014 2:10 AM

1SG Michael Blount — Thu, 02 Oct 2014 02:10:40 -0400

ABSOLUTELY NOT. Married couples should serve in different companies, batteries, battalions, troops, whatever, but not in the same unit. This is the kind of situation from which no good can come.

I have an issue with people of different ranks but in the same unit even dating. They need to be separated at the company, battalion or battery level. Anyone who has been around long enough to remember the bottom line lesson from that business with SMA McKinney doesn't want that issue crossing his desk.

Response by SGT Richard H. made Oct 2 at 2014 12:38 PM

SGT Richard H. — Thu, 02 Oct 2014 12:38:24 -0400

I always made it a rule never to date someone of the same MOS as me. But then, I was Infantry, so......

Response by SFC(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 2 at 2014 12:45 PM

SFC(P) Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 02 Oct 2014 12:45:11 -0400

When we had married couples in our BN, they each served in different companies. I was told by one of my NCOs at the time, that it was the rule of the Army. It can distract from the mission.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 5 at 2014 1:03 AM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 05 Oct 2014 01:03:55 -0400

Couples should not be in each other's rating chain, for obvious reasons.

People are free to date who they want as long as they stay away from being supervisor and subordinate.

Response by MAJ Bill Darling made Oct 9 at 2014 1:50 AM

MAJ Bill Darling — Thu, 09 Oct 2014 01:50:43 -0400

I'm generally conservative when it comes to dating in the ranks at all. I've done it but it has the potential to set up some very problematic chain of command issues. There's a reason the SecDef told the services to align their frat rules and prohibited officer/NCO relationships eventually. To take it a step further, the military cannot track (nor should they obviously) someone's dating habits and, since the military is a small place, there's a decent change of a former significant other wandering into one's chain of command eventually. It's a relatively modern issue given in an that all-male heterosexual force, you just had to worry about two service members drinking or golfing together and any favoritism generated by that.

Response by SSG George Holtje made Jan 24 at 2020 10:19 PM

SSG George Holtje — Fri, 24 Jan 2020 22:19:45 -0500

No. It’s as wrong as chewing gum, having your cap cocked back, not lacing your boots from right to left, dyeing your hair blond, wearing no tactical underwear, smoking while walking, wearing your sunglasses on your hat, wearing both straps of your assault pack and any other garrison standard that is ruthlessly enforced by overzealous NCOs who believe ‘No One Is More Professional Than I’ provided you’re not upsetting your standing in the GOB corps.