Funny Evaluation Comments: Care to share?

2015-02-26T12:07:55-05:00

Hello, my people! I was recently asked to provide input on an NCOER we're writing for an E-6 who recently transferred to our shop. His losing unit did not write him an outgoing NCOER, so of course it falls on us to pick up the pieces.

The losing unit sang his praises, offering gushing adoration for this guy. But when we pressed them for bullets, they were unable to come up with anything concrete. Their failure to point to specific accomplishments more or less matches our observation of him.

He's a guy that would probably do well if we still had SP6 as a rank. So when my counterpart (his new rater) asked for bullets, this was my tongue-in-cheek reply:

* Can successfully inhale and exhale in sequence without supervision
* Routinely laces boots without causing loss of circulation to feet
* Surfs social media on his cellphone better than any other E-6 I've observed
* Maintains steady temperature in whatever chair he is occupying

So I thought I'd throw this topic out to all of you. Any humorous evaluation comments you've seen, or wish you could've included in writing one? Please share!

Response by Cpl Michael Strickler made Feb 26 at 2015 12:45 PM

2015-02-26T12:45:44-05:00

I love reading these types of things. I remember one that was like "This one seems to open their mouth rather infrequently, though only to change feet." hahaha

And of course there is always the pure LT directed comment "His men will follow him anywhere he leads them... though only out of morbid shock and curiosity" hahaha

edit: and thanks for this... I am now googling and searching for more to split my sides... i will report back if I find any gold nuggets

“Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.”
“He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless.”
“Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.”
“When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.”
“A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.”
“Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.”
“Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.”

haha. I found these about instructors...

"This class was a religious experience for me... I had to take it all on faith."
"The class is worthwhile because I need it for the degree."
"His blackboard technique puts Rembrandt to shame."
"Textbook is confusing... Someone with a knowledge of English should proofread it."
"In class I learn I can fudge answers and get away with it."
"Keep lecturer or tenure board will be shot."
"The recitation instructor would make a good parking lot attendant. Tries to tell you where to go, but you can never understand him."
"Problem sets are a decoy to lure you away from potential exam material."
"Recitation was great. It was so confusing that I forgot who I was, where I was, and what I was doing -- it's a great stress reliever."
"He is one of the best teachers I have had... He is well-organized, presents good lectures, and creates interest in the subject. I hope my comments don't hurt his chances of getting tenure."
"I would sit in class and stare out the window at the squirrels. They've got a cool nest in the tree."
"He teaches like Speedy Gonzalez on a caffeine high."
"This course kept me out of trouble from 2-4:30 on Tuesdays and Thursdays."
"Most of us spent the 1st 3 weeks terrified of the class. Then solidarity kicked in."
"TA steadily improved throughout the course... I think he started drinking and it really loosened him up."
"Information was presented like a ruptured fire hose -- spraying in all directions -- no way to stop it."
"What's the quality of the text? `Text is printed on high quality paper.'"
"The course was very thorough. What wasn't covered in class was covered on the final exam."

ahahahahahahahahahahaha

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 26 at 2015 3:27 PM

2015-02-26T15:27:58-05:00

Has a talent for trivializing the momentous and complicating the obvious.

Response by Lt Col Jim Coe made Feb 26 at 2015 3:33 PM

2015-02-26T15:33:04-05:00

Continually sets high expectations for his work and fails to achieve them.
Last in; first out.

Response by MSgt Michael Durkee made Feb 26 at 2015 5:36 PM

2015-02-26T17:36:37-05:00

Motivated in action while still maintaining a sense of ambiguity in results.

Response by SGT Jim Z. made Feb 26 at 2015 9:01 PM

2015-02-26T21:01:57-05:00

Too funny SFC Josh Jackson

Response by MSgt Steven Holt, NRP, CCEMT-P made Feb 26 at 2015 9:12 PM

2015-02-26T21:12:47-05:00

Best comment I ever read on a performance review looked like this:

"There is no National emergency, real or imagined, that merits retention of this member."

Response by PO2 Steven Erickson made Feb 26 at 2015 9:27 PM

2015-02-26T21:27:31-05:00

I actually found this in a department evaluation assessment:

"(He) has the interpersonal communication skills of a crack-addicted rabid raccoon. Not really, but I'd prefer to work with one of those."

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 26 at 2015 10:45 PM

2015-02-26T22:45:53-05:00

* His / her Soldiers follow him out of curiosity alone
* Private trapped in an NCOs body
* Continues to set lows standards and fails to achieve them

Response by SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 26 at 2015 11:03 PM

2015-02-26T23:03:28-05:00

During my short stint as a 42A, part of my job was to review every NCOER that came through the BN, prior to the BN CSM reviewing them.

One of the funniest/most pathetic bullets I ever saw was, "o Did not get arrested on or off post during this rating period."

That said it all about that "NCO"

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 27 at 2015 9:21 AM

2015-02-27T09:21:51-05:00

"dedicated to being fit; spends most evenings lifting weights"

Response by SSG Rob Cline made Feb 27 at 2015 10:32 AM

2015-02-27T10:32:41-05:00

I had to help my First Sergeant come up with positions 'Best Suited' for an NCO that was getting kicked out (long story). I offered up R&U NCO :)

Response by Cpl Michael Strickler made Feb 27 at 2015 11:31 AM

2015-02-27T11:31:10-05:00

Thought I would post this as well. Kinda on topic, but totally worth the LOLs

http://joyreactor.com/post/283033

JoyReactor - funny pictures

something funny

Response by MSgt Bj Jones made Feb 28 at 2015 6:42 PM

2015-02-28T18:42:32-05:00

I was the admin troop who had to review and edit EPRs for my flight. The commander had written Paul a firewall 5 but left one line blank, which was a huge no no. To help the commander out, I typed in, "Like Jesus of Nazareth, literally walked on water." I then turned it in to CQ. Later, I went to CQ to check distribution. I saw our Personnelist, Vanessa, laughing so hard she was crying. My fellow admin, Rich, who worked in CQ was on the phone with MPF Personnelist Valerie. The conversation went something like this:
Rich: I'm looking at Paul's EPR, and there is a line here that says, 'Like Jesus of Nazareth, literally walked on water....'
Valerie (yelling): It doesn't say that!
Rich: I'm looking right at it, and I'm serious-it actually says that. Now, I say it should be 'Jesus the Nazarene'. I'm asking you to tell me which one is correct.

This conversation went on for some time with Valerie yelling and Vanessa busting a gut. I had no idea Rich would take things a bit further.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 28 at 2015 9:33 PM

2015-02-28T21:33:24-05:00

Cannot be trusted to do anything right at anytime
Was caught selling APFT insurance
Promote to Civilian now
What this NCO could not steal from supply he requisitioned and had delivered to his home address.
NCO caught for driving automobile during run event of APFT
Promote to MSG (Soldier's rank is already MSG)
SOLDIER IS VERY HONORABLE EVEN THOUGH THE SOLDIER SHOPLIFTED AT A LOCAL STORE.
Being lazy is one of the Soldier's good points

Response by PO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 28 at 2015 9:53 PM

2015-02-28T21:53:49-05:00

I got your six on this! Being a bonafide Yeoman and a part of a Navy Yeoman (verification required also) group on Facebook I can literally bring actual eval write-ups all day. However, here are just a few of the most recent that were submitted to Admin offices around the Fleet...

Response by COL Charles Williams made Mar 1 at 2015 12:22 AM

2015-03-01T00:22:57-05:00

This is real... I read them... Not mine luckily... Both LTs...

1. Attempts to lead by example, and often succeeds.

2. This officer should consider a management position in the fast food industry.

Both left the Army as LTs...

Response by Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS made Mar 1 at 2015 12:46 PM

2015-03-01T12:46:35-05:00

* Manages to enter and exit doors without running into them 8/10 times.
* Successfully avoided infecting others in the unit with Lycanthropy for length of tour.
* During guard duty of buildings, no building has been stolen (yet).

And these ones is real:

"Sgt Kennedy has a very 'Decisive' leadership style, and if confronted with a situation which requires problem solving, it will be solved 'decisively,' quickly, and will require no follow on." - I'm still not sure whether that was a positive or negative bullet.

"SSgt Hayford is a Fire Support God" - I actually saw that on a signed FitRep....

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 1 at 2015 1:12 PM

2015-03-01T13:12:17-05:00

I have a lot of them, but my all time favorite:
Senior Rater comments on an OER.
Captain (XXX) is dumb, but he's the best I've got.
Above Center of Mass box check.

This was all that the battalion commander wrote.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 1 at 2015 1:29 PM

2015-03-01T13:29:32-05:00

Provides a constant reminder of what the standards are, and what failing them looks like.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 1 at 2015 1:55 PM

2015-03-01T13:55:12-05:00

Cooks min rice in 58 secs.
Has never kicked a fresh turd on a hot day

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 1 at 2015 5:08 PM

2015-03-01T17:08:46-05:00

I forgot about two they put on my first (gag) NCOER.

* Constantly on time for Lunch

* Always first for Final Formation.

Response by COL Vincent Stoneking made Mar 1 at 2015 5:13 PM

2015-03-01T17:13:17-05:00

My favorite: "He is without peer in his field."
It's an enumeration. Of a sort.

Response by CSM Michael J. Uhlig made Mar 1 at 2015 5:25 PM

2015-03-01T17:25:23-05:00

* when reminded, he can maintain minimum standards of performance

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 1 at 2015 7:49 PM

2015-03-01T19:49:38-05:00

When I was the NCOIC of the XVIII Airborne Corps IG, Inspections Br. I used to get into some heated discussions (arguments) with our Boss, the IG (Full Bird Colonel); Of course my being a bit on the overbearing side when it came to standing up for my inspectors and their write ups after some very thorough root-cause analysis and refusing to change their write ups because our Boss had been pals with many of the Commanders for the units that we inspected; Our conversat6ions were not typical E8 to O6 Yes Sir/No Sir moments. So when my 1st NCOER came due the best comment I saw on it was:

- Extremely outspoken with unvarnished candor

I thought it was great...and accurate!

Response by CPL Brendan Hayes made Mar 1 at 2015 9:26 PM

2015-03-01T21:26:10-05:00

For a soldier with three kids from three different women:

"If Spc. ***** spent as much time working on his technical skills as he does working on the local females, he would be the best FDC soldier in Divarty."

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 1 at 2015 9:34 PM

2015-03-01T21:34:41-05:00

An NCOER for a very worthless NCO I had years ago:

o fully supports the Army's green initiatives; through his tireless efforts, enabled numerous on-post plants to breathe

Response by CSM Michael Poll made Mar 2 at 2015 11:40 AM

2015-03-02T11:40:38-05:00

One of my Majors showed me his first OER when he was a LT.

Bullet read:

Would best serve the United States Army by resigning his Commission"

I was laughing my butt off!!!

Yet he made MAJ!!!!

Response by TSgt David Holman made Mar 2 at 2015 5:28 PM

2015-03-02T17:28:54-05:00

- Member consistently challenges supervisor to create new and inventive forms of counselling
- Member consistently sets low standards and fails to achieve...

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 2 at 2015 8:30 PM

2015-03-02T20:30:47-05:00

Cannot lead a pack of ants to a picnic....

Response by SrA Marc Haynes made Mar 2 at 2015 9:03 PM

2015-03-02T21:03:33-05:00

Airman able to put underwear inside fatigues 95% of the time.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 2 at 2015 9:10 PM

2015-03-02T21:10:36-05:00

Here are my top three most memorable bullets that I have encountered:

3. SSG ____ has the tenacity of a badger.

2. 1LT ____ could complicate a one-car funeral procession.

1. SFC ____ presents the most compelling argument yet for the immediate reimplementation of
the advanced Specialist Rank Structure.

Response by 1LT Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 2 at 2015 9:33 PM

2015-03-02T21:33:40-05:00

I remember a great one that said. "Put this man into a glass box and mark it 'break in case of war'."

Response by SGM Erik Marquez made Mar 2 at 2015 11:23 PM

2015-03-02T23:23:28-05:00

o Continually sets low standards and fails to meet them

o Dedication to consistency personally observed and recognized by senior leaders, fails to complete tasks consistently with or without supervision.

o Sets the example for others, peer, junior and seniors alike, providing tangible observed incorrect, immoral and often illegal examples for others to avoid.

o Recommend promotion with peers at next assignment post separation

Response by SSG Sean Garcia made Mar 3 at 2015 2:32 AM

2015-03-03T02:32:41-05:00

Would follow this NCO out of sheer curiosity.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 3 at 2015 5:01 AM

2015-03-03T05:01:48-05:00

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 3 at 2015 9:37 AM

2015-03-03T09:37:41-05:00

o Soldier has hit rock bottom and continues to dig

Response by SSG Leonard Johnson made Mar 3 at 2015 9:58 AM

2015-03-03T09:58:51-05:00

o designated as unit unmasking procedure

Response by SSG Leonard Johnson made Mar 3 at 2015 10:02 AM

2015-03-03T10:02:37-05:00

o has unique ability to maintain accountability through report of survey

Response by SFC William Swartz Jr made Mar 3 at 2015 1:40 PM

2015-03-03T13:40:41-05:00

Makes a better doorstop than a doorjamb.
Ability to suck the life out of any unit activity is unparalleled.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 3 at 2015 2:05 PM

2015-03-03T14:05:03-05:00

Produces minimal results under maximum supervision.

Response by PO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 6 at 2015 1:38 PM

2015-03-06T13:38:06-05:00

Will someone please explain this one to me.....?

Response by SGM Ron Crump made Mar 12 at 2015 12:06 PM

2015-03-12T12:06:29-04:00

Last evaluation he was at rock bottom, now he has begun to dig.

OR

Thinks she knows everything, but in reality knows nothing.

Response by 1SG Jason Smith made Mar 19 at 2015 6:00 PM

2015-03-19T18:00:32-04:00

would best serve the needs of the Army by ETSing

Response by PO1 Ken Johnson made Apr 29 at 2015 12:46 PM

2015-04-29T12:46:21-04:00

Two good ones..

PO3 _________ is an outstanding petty officer. Every time we need him, he is out standing in the chow line, the ship's store line, the sick call line..

The difference between PO3 __________ making PO2 and me winning the Powerball Jackpot, I have better odds!

Response by SMSgt Dan Powell made Apr 30 at 2015 2:19 PM

2015-04-30T14:19:48-04:00

Everyone knew that I was in my office writing an APR for one of my better E-5 SSgts and I knew he was within earshot. I hollered "Anyone know another word for adequate?" Lots of laughs from that one!

Response by SGM Private RallyPoint Member made May 1 at 2015 12:57 PM

2015-05-01T12:57:30-04:00

I once wrote that "xxxxx is the proverbial cartoon soldier, Beetle Bailey. He does not exceed the minimum standard. He sets it."

Got a call from promotion board asking what I meant.

Response by SGM Private RallyPoint Member made May 1 at 2015 1:00 PM

2015-05-01T13:00:33-04:00

"She thought she was a Superstar. She turned out to be a SuperNova."

Response by SGM Private RallyPoint Member made May 1 at 2015 1:00 PM

2015-05-01T13:00:34-04:00

"Perpetuates his own myth".

Response by SGM Private RallyPoint Member made May 1 at 2015 1:01 PM

2015-05-01T13:01:47-04:00

"This person proves why God created Time in Grade. He needs more of it."

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made May 1 at 2015 1:03 PM

2015-05-01T13:03:26-04:00

o competence falls within the broad guidelines of the minimum standard

Response by SGM Private RallyPoint Member made May 1 at 2015 1:03 PM

2015-05-01T13:03:41-04:00

"Every now and then we get lucky and find a diamond in the rough. With polish and the right setting, this officer will shine."

Response by SGM Private RallyPoint Member made May 1 at 2015 1:07 PM

2015-05-01T13:07:16-04:00

"SSGT XXXX is like a precious gem. When duty calls, he is very hard to find."

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made May 1 at 2015 1:06 PM

2015-05-01T13:06:59-04:00

I guess no more promotions for him. I senior rated an E-6 who could not coordinate a weapons draw, open up the motor pool gates, weapons draw, move accordingly, and keep his soldiers informed. He just was not E-6 or E-7 material.

Response by SGM Private RallyPoint Member made May 1 at 2015 1:09 PM

2015-05-01T13:09:12-04:00

This soldier defines motivation. He rose from nowhere to become Battalion Soldier of the Quarter.

Response by SGM Private RallyPoint Member made May 1 at 2015 1:24 PM

2015-05-01T13:24:09-04:00

Gets the job done right, the first time, every time...you stay on him.

Response by SGM Private RallyPoint Member made May 1 at 2015 1:27 PM

2015-05-01T13:27:15-04:00

This soldier deserves his own duty roster.

Response by SSG John Erny made May 1 at 2015 1:42 PM

2015-05-01T13:42:02-04:00

SPC XXXX Is a walking safety violation.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made May 1 at 2015 2:28 PM

2015-05-01T14:28:02-04:00

o his subordinates followed him without hesitation soley out of curiosity
o selfishly deprived a village of its idiot throughout the rated period

Response by SFC Michael Hasbun made May 1 at 2015 4:18 PM

2015-05-01T16:18:11-04:00

o Soldier suffers from delusions of adequacy

o When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever
foot was previously in there.

o He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction.

o He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.

o This officer reminds me very much of gyroscope -- always spinning around at a
frantic pace, but not really going anywhere.

o This medical officer has used my ship to carry his genitals from port to port,
and my officers to carry him from bar to bar.

o Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

o She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

o He has the wisdom of youth and the energy of old age.

o This officer should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better.

o Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.

o This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot

o If brains were dynamite he would not have enough to blow his nose

o Constantly sets high goal and never reaches them

Response by SMSgt James Williams made May 1 at 2015 6:57 PM

2015-05-01T18:57:02-04:00

"Superman with the cape" was on one of mine. He put it on there to see if anyone reads them. His theory was sound, it went through.

Response by SSG Leonard Johnson made May 2 at 2015 2:07 AM

2015-05-02T02:07:02-04:00

o Has unique ability to maintain accountability through report of survey
o should be in charge of unmasking procedures

Response by MSG David Chappell made Jul 21 at 2015 7:34 PM

2015-07-21T19:34:31-04:00

Converts 02 to CO2 without supervision. Ordered to maintain plants in his area to replenish stolen air.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Dec 7 at 2015 10:25 PM

2015-12-07T22:25:44-05:00

Operations ran better without him. Retire now.

Response by 1SG Marion "Ron" C. made Dec 10 at 2015 1:49 PM

2015-12-10T13:49:03-05:00

Often found him in a world of his own, just wish he would stay there, would really help the unit morale.

I wanted to write this on one Staff Sergent's NCOER, but he helped me write one better by screwing up even worse before it was due. I had to write Staff Sergeant because he was not an NCO in my book.

Response by SrA Daniel Hunter made Dec 11 at 2015 12:26 AM

2015-12-11T00:26:38-05:00

I've got nothing for you except to say, shame on his losing unit. If he was a good NCO they did him a disservice by not doing an NCOER; if he was a bad NCO they did his gaining unit a disservice by not doing an NCOER.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Dec 11 at 2015 12:00 PM

2015-12-11T12:00:57-05:00

Operations run smoother without him.
Retire now!

Response by 1SG Norman Dashiell made Dec 12 at 2015 4:08 PM

2015-12-12T16:08:28-05:00

o conserving energy to take initiative

Response by 1LT Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 12 at 2015 5:41 PM

2015-12-12T17:41:34-05:00

"Would let date my daughter."

Response by PO1 Dan Patrick made Dec 12 at 2015 7:15 PM

2015-12-12T19:15:01-05:00

In the late 80s, a Navy CPO was plugging for his LPO's advancement and wrote: AW1 *Smith* should be advanced immediately. He's better than I am, and you made me a Chief!

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 12 at 2015 11:29 PM

2015-12-12T23:29:16-05:00

As a senior rater, one of my comments was "The in-service recruiter who brought us this soldier should face UCMJ action for fraud, waste and abuse."

Response by Capt Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 13 at 2015 2:10 PM

2015-12-13T14:10:50-05:00

My favorite of all time (actually in an OER) Lt **** is a fast learner. He never makes the same mistake twice. But it seems he is trying to make them all once."

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 13 at 2015 5:03 PM

2015-12-13T17:03:01-05:00

I rated two SGTs on their way out. One for a DUI he thought he was getting away with... rated both 4 over 5. I can't even remember all of the bullets, but a few that stand out:

o successfully disappears from workplace early, whenever he actually shows up

o maximizes use of appointment schedule to ensure minimal effort is placed on his job

o capable of maintaining consciousness when properly supervised

o successfully completed his last APFT three years ago

Response by LCDR Steve Didio made Dec 13 at 2015 8:56 PM

2015-12-13T20:56:55-05:00

I knew an Officer whose CO disliked him so much that he placed the following quote in his Fitness Report:

"This Officer proves that somewhere a village is in search of it's idiot"

That had to hurt reading that from your boss.........

Response by CW4 Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 13 at 2015 9:34 PM

2015-12-13T21:34:47-05:00

Supposedly from the British Army: "This officer deprives a village somewhere of an idiot."

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 13 at 2015 9:40 PM

2015-12-13T21:40:16-05:00

Had a platoon sgt earlier this year that put "o All around bad ass mother fucker." On his ncoe

Response by Cpl Rc Layne made Dec 13 at 2015 11:25 PM

2015-12-13T23:25:09-05:00

Is entitled to his inferiority complex as he is an inferior person.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 14 at 2015 10:28 AM

2015-12-14T10:28:07-05:00

- His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.
-She leaps over streams and bounds over tall buildings
-True professional and mentor--Not only walks on water but freezes it so others can follow

Response by SSG Audwin Scott made Dec 14 at 2015 10:32 AM

2015-12-14T10:32:24-05:00

Walks on water! lmbo.

Response by SGM Mikel Dawson made Dec 14 at 2015 10:44 AM

2015-12-14T10:44:19-05:00

SFC Josh Jackson Thank you for doing such an outstanding job. I think all of us can write some good comments on your next NCOER!!

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 14 at 2015 12:30 PM

2015-12-14T12:30:14-05:00

Not an NCOER comment but on a 1059 for a soldier who failed hw/wt at NCOES when it was allowed.

o well rounded Soldier

Response by SFC Adam Porras made Dec 14 at 2015 1:27 PM

2015-12-14T13:27:09-05:00

My final NCOER contained the below comment. However, I wanted it on there so I made sure if got through all the channels.

"Promote out of sheer curiosity"

Response by SFC David Tyner made Dec 14 at 2015 3:22 PM

2015-12-14T15:22:12-05:00

MSG XXXXX's ability to accomplish any task is directly proportional to the number of people he pisses off

Response by SFC Stephen King made Dec 14 at 2015 7:25 PM

2015-12-14T19:25:36-05:00

Clearly a follower that should not lead

Response by SMSgt Thor Merich made Dec 14 at 2015 7:41 PM

2015-12-14T19:41:02-05:00

*Consistently excels at being mediocre

Response by CMSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 14 at 2015 7:50 PM

2015-12-14T19:50:32-05:00

I stole this from an old email from my ex-husband, who was British Army:

-His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.
-This NCO is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't-be.
-He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction.
-He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
-Technically sound, but socially impossible.
-She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
-He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.
-This NCO should go far -- and the sooner he starts, the better.

Response by CSM Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 14 at 2015 9:49 PM

2015-12-14T21:49:21-05:00

spends countless hours working on Army related work while working off-duty and attending class on-duty

Response by LTC Stephen F. made Dec 14 at 2015 10:00 PM

2015-12-14T22:00:10-05:00

SFC Josh Jackson Here are a few examples.
This NCO's soldiers follow him out of sheer curiosity to see what he will do next.
This NCO started out at rock bottom and immediately started to dig.
If nothing else this NCO's performance can be used as an excellent example of what not to ever do.
Thanks for tagging me SSG James J. Palmer IV aka "JP4"

Response by Col Ian O'Connell made Dec 14 at 2015 10:53 PM

2015-12-14T22:53:06-05:00

This officer has all the qualities of the commanders dog, with the exception of loyalty.

Response by CPT David Turnbull made Dec 14 at 2015 11:29 PM

2015-12-14T23:29:03-05:00

Had a senior rather write on a Cpt's OER that if he could put a lower block he would.

Response by MAJ Alvin B. made Dec 15 at 2015 12:10 AM

2015-12-15T00:10:51-05:00

Comments I am aware of include:

This member Is followed simply out of idle curiosity.
This member is the best example of average I have ever seen.
In time this officer may become an exceptional Lieutenant.
We have failed in every attempt to ignite any spark of leadership.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 15 at 2015 12:22 AM

2015-12-15T00:22:52-05:00

I once noted in "responsibility" how many UA's a E-5 was an observer for and how it led to a flawless testing process with zero contamination issues.....
It never made it past the First Sergeant

Response by SFC(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 15 at 2015 1:33 AM

2015-12-15T01:33:10-05:00

These are all hilarious examples of "negative" bullet comments. One of the better ones I saw (for an NCO who was unquestionably stellar) was a Senior Rater Bullet that read, "In addition to his [already] unmatchable leadership skills, he rides a totally bad ass Harley Davidson."

Response by TSgt Frank Lindenmeier made Dec 15 at 2015 4:45 AM

2015-12-15T04:45:46-05:00

Could not lead a piece of string across a room if it was tied to his belt loop.

Response by WO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 15 at 2015 5:17 AM

2015-12-15T05:17:19-05:00

Those bullets were quite entertaining to read.

Response by COL Paul Ciminelli made Dec 15 at 2015 5:48 AM

2015-12-15T05:48:30-05:00

This officer has failed to meet the low standards I set for him. He has proven to be inconsistent in his mediocrity.

Response by SFC Randolph Yates made Dec 15 at 2015 7:13 AM

2015-12-15T07:13:12-05:00

Under leadership: Flies wouldn't follow him to the latrine.

Response by SSG Scott Warthan made Dec 15 at 2015 7:31 AM

2015-12-15T07:31:37-05:00

Is a successful form of matter, carries weight and takes up space with efficiency.

Response by SSG Warren Swan made Dec 15 at 2015 8:39 AM

2015-12-15T08:39:25-05:00

I wished I used the NCOER's bullets on my NCOER's. I would've gotten a battlefield promotion to Commander 1st Baller Division, 1st Playa from the Himalayas BDE. I would have the most pimpish unit ever. Strippers would come to me for guidance. My uniforms would be tailor made with feathers coming out of the fedoras. My night vision glasses would be made to look like Oakley Frogskins. Weapons? We don't need no stinkin weapons. A pimp cane would be a mandatory issue sensitive item. All the boots would have three inch platform heels, and my call sign would be Shaft06. My CSM would be IceBergSlim07. The EPR one I actually tried using as a joke when I was stationed in the UK. It was funny all the way to the Shirt. He really didn't find it so funny even though I had written the Airman's real EPR and had it going to their S1.

Response by SGT Alan Simmons made Dec 15 at 2015 9:19 AM

2015-12-15T09:19:37-05:00

During my time assigned at the 121st ARCOM while in a convalescent status, I was handling an administrative separation for a SSG who was being discharged for not showing up for weekend drills, two consecutive summer training sessions, et al. In preparing the paperwork for the separation, I had to review his evaluations and annotate them in the packet. In one from a previous stint on a deployment during Desert Guardian, a Regular Army 1SG actually wrote on one of the evals:
* Knows how to carry his own weight around the company
Yes, the SSG was about 60 pounds overweight; I literally shot coffee out my nose when I read it!

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 15 at 2015 9:54 AM

2015-12-15T09:54:50-05:00

o performance during the rated period indicated no leadership traits
o completely unprepared for tactical and garrison leadership responsibilities
o this SM shouldn't have had the opportunity to lead Soldiers

Response by PO1 Aaron Baltosser made Dec 15 at 2015 10:03 AM

2015-12-15T10:03:54-05:00

Lacks basic task completion skills requiring constant hourly supervision was the opening line of one of my more chalkenging Sailors. I thought about it for 3 weeks before submission. It went up that way, and stayed that way after the Chief got it.

Response by LT Bill Kunkle made Dec 15 at 2015 11:02 AM

2015-12-15T11:02:41-05:00

"she gives uninspired, but satisfactory head"

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 15 at 2015 11:20 AM

2015-12-15T11:20:47-05:00

*tongue-in-cheek comments follow* NOT one's I would write THESE ARE NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY....(trust me I am sure there are people that WOULD take these seriously)

*Can circulate blood to brain
*Can stand AND sit without supervision
*Can blink both eyes effectively
*Is able to dress himself (occasionally)
*Is able to run in place
*Is able to run his/her mouth without being told to do so
*Consistantly arrives late to formation without being told to do so
*Consistantly passes the buck and accepts NO responsibility for own actions

how are those?

Response by LTC Charles Sherman made Dec 15 at 2015 11:43 AM

2015-12-15T11:43:31-05:00

I actually used this: "Fails to meet even the low performance standards she sets for herself." I still can't believe I had to use that. And it passed scrutiny by two SGMs and the reviewer, because it was thoroughly documented.

Response by SSgt Boyd Welch made Dec 15 at 2015 11:48 AM

2015-12-15T11:48:03-05:00

"Out of all the people to ever come through this squadron, he is definitely one of them..."

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 15 at 2015 11:53 AM

2015-12-15T11:53:58-05:00

I once was presented with a counseling statement from our BN XO, which I refused to sign, with the comment:
"CPT Burch's constant questioning of illegal, unethical and morally questionable policy decisions is undermining the unit's command authority"
Apparently the HHD CDR had complained to the old man because I questioned several of his rather idiotic policies and the CO (being a former college buddy of the HHD CDR) had directed the XO to give me a counseling statement.

Response by MSgt E. W. Forbess made Dec 15 at 2015 12:07 PM

2015-12-15T12:07:39-05:00

When I was a Readiness inspector on the AIA IG Team, a fellow team member wrote up one of our unit's Communications office as being, "Woefully inept." (I recall his comments were edited prior to our outbrief...)

Response by ENS Matthew Fleming made Dec 15 at 2015 1:41 PM

2015-12-15T13:41:48-05:00

"This officer is destined to go through life pushing on pull doors and pulling on push doors."

Response by CW3 Brian Coffey made Dec 15 at 2015 5:02 PM

2015-12-15T17:02:01-05:00

I actually wrote the following on a Sgt/E5 NCOER:

○ This NCO should be reassigned to the Medical Clinic so that when she goes on Sick Call, at least she will still be at work.

○ Do not promote.

Response by CW4 Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 15 at 2015 5:20 PM

2015-12-15T17:20:38-05:00

My father once received an award for his work with several different units. In the citation he was supposed to be praised for bringing together several disparate units. Due to a typo, his citation read desperate units. He thought it was far more accurate as written.

Response by MSgt James Mullis made Dec 15 at 2015 5:25 PM

2015-12-15T17:25:39-05:00

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 15 at 2015 8:37 PM

2015-12-15T20:37:19-05:00

"Get a fire extinguisher, this Airman is on fire! Promote now!"

Response by SrA Daniel Jenkins made Dec 15 at 2015 9:30 PM

2015-12-15T21:30:42-05:00

A young Security Forces Airmen crashed a police cruiser and his NCO tried to pass this bullet on his EPR:

Procured funding for new police vehicle.

Sadly did not make it to the signed copy.

Response by LCDR Daniel Lanotte made Dec 15 at 2015 9:50 PM

2015-12-15T21:50:20-05:00

His men will follow him anywhere; not because he is an effective leader, but just to see what he will do next.

Response by MSgt Timothy Brock made Dec 15 at 2015 10:19 PM

2015-12-15T22:19:25-05:00

Eager to volunteer, when told to do so.

Response by Maj Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 15 at 2015 10:59 PM

2015-12-15T22:59:41-05:00

"Shows great initiative but needs to work on followt"

"Optimistic NCO who demonstrates high degree of confidence despite skills/aptitude"

A positive one:
"Could eat coal and crap diamonds! Promote yesterday!!"

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 15 at 2015 11:05 PM

2015-12-15T23:05:50-05:00

"Hits rock bottom and continues to dig"

Response by Capt Michael Sodano made Dec 15 at 2015 11:18 PM

2015-12-15T23:18:42-05:00

"Creates a vacancy in the billet to which he is assigned"

Response by CPT Gurinder (Gene) Rana made Dec 16 at 2015 1:29 AM

2015-12-16T01:29:16-05:00

How do you write an NCOER or an OER as the gaining outfit without inputs from the losing unit? There should be a PERSCOM DIRECTED NCOER prepared and submitted in lieu of the missing NCOER. This is why there are support forms and developmental forms that must accompany the NCOER and the OER.

Response by 1stSgt Eugene Harless made Dec 16 at 2015 2:38 AM

2015-12-16T02:38:47-05:00

"Has delusions of adequacy"

Response by MAJ Stephen Barnard made Dec 16 at 2015 5:04 AM

2015-12-16T05:04:42-05:00

This Officer is destined to go through life pushing at doors marked "Pull" (British Army Officer's Annual Report)

Response by Col Earle Thompson made Dec 16 at 2015 6:29 AM

2015-12-16T06:29:41-05:00

At times Mr. Xxx lacks tact, however he has never been misunderstood!

Response by SGM Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 16 at 2015 8:03 AM

2015-12-16T08:03:40-05:00

My former boss wrote a great SR comment on a SGT that was pending separation - "wholly incompatible with military service." NCOER mic drop!

Response by SSG John Caples made Dec 16 at 2015 8:25 AM

2015-12-16T08:25:36-05:00

He doesn't need a Ncoer , he needs a counseling statement on how to properly sit in a chair and lead from that position

Response by LTC George Shell made Dec 16 at 2015 10:15 AM

2015-12-16T10:15:35-05:00

"This NCO has robbed a village of their idiot."

Response by SFC John Penman made Dec 16 at 2015 10:53 AM

2015-12-16T10:53:37-05:00

Worst evaluation I heard of had three words "Complete utter failure".

Response by Capt Bob Abbott made Dec 16 at 2015 2:21 PM

2015-12-16T14:21:16-05:00

When I was a student at the Intelligence Officer Course (where I later ended up teaching) one teacher gave me an evaluation that stated "Lt Chambless is a fomenter of chaos. He's the only officer I seriously considered choking."

Response by SSG Todd Halverson made Dec 16 at 2015 3:38 PM

2015-12-16T15:38:29-05:00

Not afraid to take the initiative when it comes to lunch.

Response by CPT Melanie Ryan made Dec 16 at 2015 5:10 PM

2015-12-16T17:10:52-05:00

*Slow, but trainable
*Not safe around sharp objects
*Inspires numerous topics for Sergeant's Time
*Frequent focus of Safety Briefs and Risk Management assessments
*Responsible for Chain-of-Command proficiency in Non-Judicial Punishment

Response by Capt Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 16 at 2015 5:40 PM

2015-12-16T17:40:44-05:00

These are my absolute favorite! So much fun!

Response by SFC Rob Bradshaw made Dec 16 at 2015 5:51 PM

2015-12-16T17:51:37-05:00

I used this one once
Consistently sets low standards of performance; and fails to meet them

Response by SSG Daniel Lynn made Dec 16 at 2015 9:34 PM

2015-12-16T21:34:38-05:00

Has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
A legion in his own mind.
Has reached the apex of his mediocre military carrier.
Oxygen thief would be an understatement.

Response by CAPT Kevin B. made Dec 16 at 2015 11:41 PM

2015-12-16T23:41:12-05:00

Ensign XXX pushes doors marked pull.
When PO XXX joined the Navy, a village lost its idiot.
He'd be a great officer in the enemy's service.
This excuse is still looking for an excuse.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 16 at 2015 11:41 PM

2015-12-16T23:41:48-05:00

A statement wrote by one of my instructors on a 1059 Expended maximum effort to achieve minimum results

Response by TSgt Teri O'Reilly made Dec 16 at 2015 11:53 PM

2015-12-16T23:53:13-05:00

Works well under constant supervision.

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 17 at 2015 12:31 AM

2015-12-17T00:31:22-05:00

All of this is outstanding... but shouldn't all of these bullet points be in past tense action verb format? Or is this new?

Response by SFC Roy Ridgeway made Dec 17 at 2015 12:59 AM

2015-12-17T00:59:05-05:00

Senior rater bullet for a SGT:
o May some day, with close supervision and rigorous guidance, become what is believed an NCO

Response by SFC David Stevens made Dec 17 at 2015 1:00 AM

2015-12-17T01:00:50-05:00

"Best utilized as a door stop at Bn level."

Response by LTC Donald Lee Hackle made Dec 17 at 2015 5:33 AM

2015-12-17T05:33:04-05:00

I usually refrained from writing them on evals and wrote them on counseling to back the eval. I once wrote of an LT ; "I would rather not have this officer follow me into combat".

Response by Capt Jeff S. made Dec 17 at 2015 6:39 AM

2015-12-17T06:39:57-05:00

*Looks like a bruised pear in wrinkled Charlies.

Response by Capt Jeff S. made Dec 17 at 2015 6:40 AM

2015-12-17T06:40:34-05:00

*His ability to lead is hampered only by his inability to read, speak or write.

Response by Capt Jeff S. made Dec 17 at 2015 6:41 AM

2015-12-17T06:41:21-05:00

*In combat, I desire this Marine as a parapet.

Response by Capt Jeff S. made Dec 17 at 2015 6:41 AM

2015-12-17T06:41:54-05:00

*This Marine could not convince a platoon to follow him out of a burning house.

Response by Capt Jeff S. made Dec 17 at 2015 6:43 AM

2015-12-17T06:43:03-05:00

*Consistently fails to achieve the low standards he has set for himself.

Response by SFC Terry Logsdon made Dec 17 at 2015 7:09 AM

2015-12-17T07:09:50-05:00

had a e-6 in Germany that was being dischared for black marketin and I got stuck doing his exit ncoer and placed the following bullits. 1. walk on water without getting feet wet. 2. can be counted on ant time day or night if solber 3. never later for formations, traing or meetings just early for the next day. thought the bn csm would have a shit fit but he concered and passed it on

Response by SGM Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 17 at 2015 7:59 AM

2015-12-17T07:59:53-05:00

"This soldier is the proverbial Pvt. Beetle Bailey. A real cartoon character."

Response by MSG Gaston Steelgirth made Dec 17 at 2015 8:51 AM

2015-12-17T08:51:26-05:00

Shows genuine concern for his soldiers in their presence.

Response by SMSgt Emo McParland made Dec 17 at 2015 8:56 AM

2015-12-17T08:56:44-05:00

I like all the guys that used to tell me that, I'm writing the Eval & I shop keep track. Not bright enough to see into the future when bucking for E-8 & E-9 how important that info is. The best bullet I ever saw was; " Gets along well with others"

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Dec 17 at 2015 10:42 AM

2015-12-17T10:42:02-05:00

My Tank Gunner shoots better after a six pack.

Response by TSgt Pernell Pelican made Dec 17 at 2015 11:16 AM

2015-12-17T11:16:06-05:00

He reached rock bottom, and continued to dig...

Response by Capt Jeff S. made Dec 17 at 2015 11:17 AM

2015-12-17T11:17:08-05:00

The previous posts I made came straight from a Fitness Report Writing class I had at The Basic School and we were told that those were actual examples gleaned from real fitness reports that had been submitted to HQMC.

I wrote the below in a PEER Eval about an OCS candidate that was THE WORST in the entire company... and he was my rack mate:

*In time of war, this candidate would be the first casualty inflicted by his troops.

When I turned in the PEER Eval I thought I might get called in and asked to redo it, because the above sentence was my complete eval. Needless to say, I marked him last. The staff never called me in to question it. Every morning I would get up, help this joker make his rack and help him get organized, and then he would turn to on getting dressed while I had to make my rack by myself and get dressed. I'd still beat him to the line. He could not call cadence and seemed to have trouble telling his left from his right. While drilling, he marched the platoon into the side of a building. We just followed his commands. [It was like that scene from Animal House.] He was eventually dropped... after they made him Platoon Commander and Company Gunny -- choice billets if you want to demonstrate your leadership potential [or lack thereof]. They waited till the last week of training to drop him and made him watch us graduate. [Burn!] You can't lead others if you can't even lead yourself.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 17 at 2015 12:24 PM

2015-12-17T12:24:05-05:00

Many comments reflect more greatly upon the leaders than the rated.

Response by SFC Eric Russell made Dec 17 at 2015 1:15 PM

2015-12-17T13:15:58-05:00

I read this on an OER. "This officer has lost the battle of the bulge". Of course they were referring to his weight.

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 17 at 2015 1:39 PM

2015-12-17T13:39:56-05:00

Able to accomplish routine mundane daily tasks with minimal assistance and supervision, recommend civilian below the zone.

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 17 at 2015 1:41 PM

2015-12-17T13:41:40-05:00

Had to do a command directed on a member found guilty at Courts Martial of theft.

Wrote two lines....

On the front : Member currently incarcerated Mannheim Prison

On the back: See front

went straight through with no rewrites....lol

Response by LTC David W. Davis made Dec 17 at 2015 2:22 PM

2015-12-17T14:22:36-05:00

I wrote a joke EER for my battery driver's final evaluation back when they still had EERs. Unfortunately we were in Graf at the time and I was on a firing point when he arrived to out process. He was given the joke EER and then later he got the real one but he got such a kick out of the fake one that he processed out of the Army with it and left the real one behind on my field desk:
- Sleeps well without supervision
- His name has become synonymous and interchangeable with the term "sham artist"
- Based on his unparalleled ability to disappear and avoid work, would best serve teaching escape and evasion techniques.
- Could pee on command
- His recruiter did a disservice to both him and the Army
- Chosen as a driver largely for the entertainment value and certainly not because of his driving skills.

And two clever comments I have saw on some lieutenant's OERs in the late 70s "on occasion, this LT made a total asset of himself" and "of all the LTs I have rated, he is definitely one."

Response by MSgt John Carroll made Dec 17 at 2015 11:45 PM

2015-12-17T23:45:35-05:00

- Sets low standards, fails to reach them
- Continue to challange--promote with others
and yes, challenge was intentionally spelled wrong

Response by LTC Richard Garza made Dec 18 at 2015 12:20 PM

2015-12-18T12:20:20-05:00

I had an NCO who was capable of so much more during an APFT but he stopped at his minimums. I told him if he was capable of doing more but only did the minimums that I would write " Meets Minimum Standards" on his next NCOER

Response by SFC Chon Na made Dec 18 at 2015 5:45 PM

2015-12-18T17:45:35-05:00

I had a commander in Kirchgoens Germany (5-5 Cav) submit an NCOER on an E-5 with just one single bullet. It stated "Would not make a good guard on an empty room."

Response by SSG Trevor S. made Dec 19 at 2015 12:02 PM

2015-12-19T12:02:31-05:00

o Retroactively promote to SFC to correct oversight from last year's board
o Recommend for transfer to an unfriendly foreign military

Response by MSgt John Carroll made Dec 19 at 2015 9:39 PM

2015-12-19T21:39:40-05:00

Like a blister, shows up when the work is done

Response by SSG Brian Lovins made Dec 19 at 2015 9:59 PM

2015-12-19T21:59:53-05:00

When we received a newly promoted E-7 as our PSG into our Guard unit, all of our NCOERs had the same comments. The two I remember best from that NCOER -"looks like soldier" and "Passed PT", luckily we reviewed it before they got sent up and helped him out. Not sure what happened to him though, we were activated and he wasn't, never saw him again. As I found out during my guard career, writing NCOER's was a major weakness for many NCO's.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 29 at 2015 10:40 AM

2015-12-29T10:40:22-05:00

"exceeded the Army standard by achieving a 186 on the APFT"

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 14 at 2016 6:21 PM

2016-01-14T18:21:26-05:00

I did not get this on a NCOER but I did get it from a SPC that was my "counselor" for a short time;
U did GR8 dis momf!
I promptly put the 4856 in the round file and talked to my Chief (I was a 13B at the time) and got a new monthly counseling statement from him. I thought it was pretty funny!

Response by MAJ Brad D'Angelo made Mar 17 at 2016 6:20 PM

2016-03-17T18:20:05-04:00

o Works well under constant supervision

Response by SSgt K Maguire made Mar 17 at 2016 6:29 PM

2016-03-17T18:29:35-04:00

I had a supervisor write that I "lacked compassion for other people's feelings"

I loaded bombs on Aircraft. Grow a pair!!

Response by SSgt Jamie Ritter LeBlanc made Mar 17 at 2016 6:39 PM

2016-03-17T18:39:56-04:00

Superstar promote now

Response by CPO Gene Gysin made Mar 17 at 2016 8:15 PM

2016-03-17T20:15:24-04:00

Couldn't lead a pack of hungry wolves to meat...

Response by MCPO Chuck Feeney made Mar 17 at 2016 8:22 PM

2016-03-17T20:22:55-04:00

Though his peers consider him useless, he has been useful as a bad example.

Response by CSM Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 17 at 2016 9:15 PM

2016-03-17T21:15:15-04:00

o he is the Robin to my Batman
They used to post prohibited comments on the PERSCOM evaluation website before it became HRC. When I visited EREC at Fort Ben, they had a lot of these comments as well as the most jacked up DA Photos (PFUs, lying down, etc) on the walls of the hallway.

Response by SFC Christopher Wilson made Mar 17 at 2016 10:25 PM

2016-03-17T22:25:49-04:00

I wrote this on an NCOER and than got ripped by the 1SG; "Has risen to the heights of mediocrity".

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 17 at 2016 10:59 PM

2016-03-17T22:59:10-04:00

Best staff duty nco in battalion.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 17 at 2016 11:04 PM

2016-03-17T23:04:49-04:00

usually managed to complete tasks under direct supervision.

Response by MSgt Rob Weston made Mar 17 at 2016 11:48 PM

2016-03-17T23:48:28-04:00

Minimalist; shows up on time, able to perform at minimum standards, leaves on time.

Response by MSgt Rob Weston made Mar 17 at 2016 11:51 PM

2016-03-17T23:51:54-04:00

Good friend wrote this is a sup par troop "Amazingly accomplished; able to recieve more negative paperwork to fill a presidential library"

Response by 1LT Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 18 at 2016 7:19 AM

2016-03-18T07:19:55-04:00

Can perform simple tasks with minimal supervision.

Had the unique distinction of being the only chief in the BN to fail safety exam. So much so he failed the retest.

Retain at present rank if needed, recommend reduction to relearn what he should already know at his current position

Response by SFC David Spoor made Mar 18 at 2016 8:21 AM

2016-03-18T08:21:22-04:00

For a SSG:
"Safely and successfully navigated from duty to domicile after completion of overnight shifts."

Response by SSG John DeLore made Mar 18 at 2016 8:52 AM

2016-03-18T08:52:00-04:00

Consistently selected as, "don't try this at home", example during safety briefs.

Response by MAJ Michael Roe made Mar 18 at 2016 10:50 AM

2016-03-18T10:50:51-04:00

SR Comments for an E-5:
1. Needs to earn present rank.
2. Send to PLDC....again.

Response by TSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 18 at 2016 12:28 PM

2016-03-18T12:28:08-04:00

Actually this was one of mine, so I'm calling myself out:

"Successfully installed filter between brain and mouth."

Many of my current colleagues would disagree, but I seriously did have an issue when I first came in for being, erm, a bit too honest with my opinions. Took me a bit to finally realize that I shouldn't be telling a full-bird stuff during a CC call that I should have told my supervisor in his office first.

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 18 at 2016 3:34 PM

2016-03-18T15:34:55-04:00

One of the favorites I wrote was "Consistently strives to be mediocre & occasionally meets that goal". I put it in as a joke thinking supervision would yank it. It stayed.

Response by SGT Dave Tracy made Mar 21 at 2016 11:36 AM

2016-03-21T11:36:17-04:00

In a civilian job, one guy I worked with had an evaluation which included: "if any dumber, would need to be watered twice a week". Needless to say, he didn't stay long.

Response by SGM Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 24 at 2016 9:09 PM

2016-03-24T21:09:00-04:00

The British Military writes OFR's (officer fitness reports). The form used for Royal Navy and Marines fitness reports is the S206. The following are actual excerpts taken from people's "206's"....

- His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.

- I would not breed from this Officer.

- This Officer is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't-be.

- When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.

- He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction.

- He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.

- Technically sound, but socially impossible.

- This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope - always spinning around at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere.

- This young lady has delusions of adequacy.

- When he joined my ship, this Officer was something of a granny; since then he has aged considerably.

- This Medical Officer has used my ship to carry his genitals from port to port, and my officers to carry him from bar to bar.

- Since my last report he has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig.

- She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

- He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.

- This Officer should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better.

- In my opinion this pilot should not be authorized to fly below 250 feet.

- The only ship I would recommend this man for is citizenship.

- Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap

- This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

- Only occasionally wets himself under pressure

Response by SSG Roger Ayscue made Jul 20 at 2016 11:37 PM

2016-07-20T23:37:38-04:00

* Can be depended upon to be the first Soldier in the platoon to complain
* Was the only Soldier in a 900 Soldier Task Force to loose positive control of his equipment before leaving the departure airfield.
* Sets low goals for himself and continually fails to achieve them
* Demonstrates the professionalism and military bearing expected of an Initial Entry Training Soldier.
* Set the Battalion Record for most trials by Courts Martial in a single rating period.

Response by CW3 Matt Hutchason made Jul 22 at 2016 6:45 PM

2016-07-22T18:45:52-04:00

I knew a CW3 Kiowa Warrior Maintenance Test Pilot who wasn't in favor with his commander. On his OER, the "positions best suited for" were Key Control Officer, Fire Marshall, and FOD Officer. Boy was he mad about that.

Response by Capt Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 9 at 2017 4:11 PM

2017-07-09T16:11:05-04:00

"The lights are flashing, the gates are down... But the train just ain't coming!"
"Is depriving a village somewhere of their idiot"
"Has reached rock bottom and started digging"
"Should have the mothership beam him back up"
"Sets low standards and consistently fails to achieve them... Under supervision"

Response by CPO Greg Frazho made Jul 9 at 2017 4:26 PM

2017-07-09T16:26:57-04:00

"Kept the bess coffee mess in the Atlantic fleet". "My number one promotable, three years running."

Response by SSgt Jimmy Jackson made Jul 9 at 2017 4:30 PM

2017-07-09T16:30:08-04:00

Has successfully reach the level of their incompetence.

Response by PO3 Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 9 at 2017 5:38 PM

2017-07-09T17:38:40-04:00

Someone in my shop wrote their own eval (they're the only one in their department, so he wrote his own eval.) and as a joke for their LPO, who they thought would review the email, he wrote "HN *redacted* has mastered the art of jerking off with his office door open." LPO didn't review the evaluation, and sent it all the way up.

Response by Lt Col Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 9 at 2017 7:56 PM

2017-07-09T19:56:45-04:00

"Easily my number 5 out of all 3 members in his rank"

"A Capt that almost exceeds most expectations of an Airman Basic"

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 9 at 2017 8:12 PM

2017-07-09T20:12:33-04:00

The worst NCOER I've ever seen was all SAT, no comments

Response by CAPT Kevin B. made Jul 9 at 2017 8:32 PM

2017-07-09T20:32:24-04:00

Sat some boards. Some are on purpose like: LT Jones pushes doors market "Pull".

Many are well intended but just don't come out right: PO-1 Jones has been pursuing his college degree for 15 years. Motivates everyone, especially on Sundays. Maximizes participation on Bingo Night. Doesn't sweat.

The old system didn't have a thesaurus so: Invites exfoliation. The breast I've ever seen. Stands erectile.

Probably many more but it'd take some cognac to dig them up..... Oh, did someone already say "Hit rock bottom and started to dig"?

Response by 1SG John B. Enlow made Jul 9 at 2017 8:39 PM

2017-07-09T20:39:05-04:00

Subordinates will follow him anywhere - just to see what he will do next

Response by Richard Burzlaff made Jul 9 at 2017 11:57 PM

2017-07-09T23:57:44-04:00

As a leader his men would follow him anywhere...but only out of morbid curiosity.

Response by LTC Russ Smith made Jul 10 at 2017 10:36 AM

2017-07-10T10:36:10-04:00

"If men were to follow this officer in to battle it would only be out of idle curiosity."

"During the rating period this officer went from undistinguished to disastrous."

"During the rating period this officer hit rock bottom and continued to dig."

"This officer cannot meet the shoddy standards she sets for herself."

My personal favorite from the National Guard circa 1994:

"His company performed admirably during the Los Angeles Riots under the capable leadership of his executive officer."

Response by SPC Margaret Higgins made Jul 11 at 2017 10:55 AM

2017-07-11T10:55:57-04:00

SFC Josh Jackson: Sergeant First Class: How would one go about sharing your post? I don't see a Facebook symbol.
Much Obliged, Sergeant First Class- Margaret

Response by MSgt Jason McClish made Jul 11 at 2017 1:01 PM

2017-07-11T13:01:46-04:00

Bahahahahahahahaha!!!

Response by CW4 Angel C. made Jul 11 at 2017 2:12 PM

2017-07-11T14:12:49-04:00

Here's my take on some people I've worked with and/or for in the Army:
* best "YES MAN" I've observed in 20+ years of service
* top 1% candidate for officer force-reduction
* promote during Obama's third term
* places superiors above his own troops; a true follower

Hopefully nobody got offended but YES there's this type out there!!!

Response by SSG John Connell made Jul 17 at 2017 6:59 PM

2017-07-17T18:59:18-04:00

Willingly delegates responsibility to subordinates when confronted.

Response by SSG John Connell made Jul 17 at 2017 7:00 PM

2017-07-17T19:00:47-04:00

Regularly demonstrates to superiors, peers and subordinates the effects of poor leadership

Response by TSgt Robin Minor made Nov 29 at 2017 12:16 PM

2017-11-29T12:16:16-05:00

And I quote..."performs like a dog on a hunt" The NCO in question was a member of the Air Force Security Forces. The comment was from our 1st Sgt who thought it would be funny and to see if it would be kept in once it hit upper level coordination. It did.

Response by 1SG Bill Farmerie made Nov 29 at 2017 2:36 PM

2017-11-29T14:36:56-05:00

Soldiers follow only out of curiosity
Sets low standards and fails to meet them
Is depriving a village of it's idiot
should be promoted to the next lower grade

Response by SPC David Willis made Nov 29 at 2017 2:46 PM

2017-11-29T14:46:56-05:00

Sometimes excels at some things.

Response by PO2 Ron Gunsolus made Nov 29 at 2017 2:51 PM

2017-11-29T14:51:39-05:00

Works well under direct supervision

Response by Sgt Dale Briggs made Nov 29 at 2017 9:24 PM

2017-11-29T21:24:10-05:00

Wow Im dying reading this thread, might be the best one yet.

Response by CW5 Edward "Tate" Jones Jr. made Nov 30 at 2017 4:55 AM

2017-11-30T04:55:06-05:00

"This officer is destined to go through life pushing on doors marked pull."

Response by CW5 Edward "Tate" Jones Jr. made Nov 30 at 2017 4:55 AM

2017-11-30T04:55:59-05:00

"The only reason that this officer's men would follow him into combat is out of idol curiosity."

Response by CW5 Edward "Tate" Jones Jr. made Nov 30 at 2017 4:58 AM

2017-11-30T04:58:02-05:00

"This officer fails to achieve the exceedingly low standards that he sets for himself."

Response by PO1 Paul D. made Nov 30 at 2017 8:26 AM

2017-11-30T08:26:45-05:00

"Does not work well or play well with others."

Response by 1SG Mark Wilson made Nov 30 at 2017 9:57 AM

2017-11-30T09:57:15-05:00

Works well with DIRECT supervision

Response by LtCol Robert Quinter made Jul 28 at 2018 10:48 PM

2018-07-28T22:48:09-04:00

I once wrote "Is totally devoid of any military or socially redeeming qualities"

Response by LTC John Griscom made Aug 2 at 2018 6:17 AM

2018-08-02T06:17:17-04:00

Not a funny one, but in the 60s, NCOs were rated Excellent, Good, Fair and Poor. Excellent and Poor required justification as to those ratings. An E-6 asked why I had given him a Fair rating and I told him I didn't have time to write the justification for a Poor evaluation.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 23 at 2018 9:46 PM

2018-08-23T21:46:12-04:00

“Soldier has no moral courage and cries in formation”

Response by SFC Familia Gonzalez made Sep 19 at 2018 4:50 PM

2018-09-19T16:50:11-04:00

He demonstrates the unique ability to de-motive soldiers at a moments notice

Response by MAJ Allen Ellery made Sep 19 at 2018 5:23 PM

2018-09-19T17:23:59-04:00

NCOER for an E7. "This NCO can plan and conduct a FTX under close personal supervision."

Response by CW3 Eye Bobojed made Sep 19 at 2018 10:18 PM

2018-09-19T22:18:32-04:00

Continued duty under this organization most likely in his being rated as an E5 next year. His total lack of tactical or techinal skills is only exceeded by his inattention to basic hygiene. Geniune concern over his total disregard for the welfare of subordinates who relies to carry him financially from payday to payday. Always on call as he can be readily found at the closest Gentlemen's Club near the maingate.

Response by CSM Charles Hayden made Sep 20 at 2018 1:58 AM

2018-09-20T01:58:50-04:00

Oldie, but goodies for y’all!

Response by SFC Ralph E Kelley made Sep 20 at 2018 2:11 AM

2018-09-20T02:11:44-04:00

Response by 2LT Ronald Reimer made Sep 20 at 2018 4:13 AM

2018-09-20T04:13:50-04:00

“One of the best soldiers I’ve ever worked with....when he shows up for work, sober.”

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 20 at 2018 11:50 AM

2018-09-20T11:50:39-04:00

Fun to read in all, but do such comments make it through HRC review. I’m elated when I push up and NCOER that doesn’t get kicked back.

Response by CPT Melanie Ryan made Sep 20 at 2018 12:25 PM

2018-09-20T12:25:23-04:00

One of my favorites, which I have used (though my Senior did call me out on it) was:
“Is personally responsible for Chain-of-Command proficiency in NJP procedures.”

Response by SSG Kyle Stromgren made Sep 20 at 2018 12:31 PM

2018-09-20T12:31:07-04:00

Has all 6 cans but not plastic thingy holding them together

Response by GySgt Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 20 at 2018 1:07 PM

2018-09-20T13:07:23-04:00

Most of the comments are witty and pretty funny but some of them tell a bigger story of failure. They tell a story of leadership failure, failure to not have a purpose or real task for these individuals to do, a lack of proper supervision to ensure these folks are gainfully employed and are deserving of the taxes the American people are paying. I realize there are time we screw around but an entire tour is ridiculous.

Response by SMSgt Shawn Sommers made Sep 20 at 2018 1:21 PM

2018-09-20T13:21:11-04:00

Always wanted to use an opening sentence of: "Continually sets low standards and frequently fails to meet them."

Response by CW2 Guy Compton made Sep 20 at 2018 2:00 PM

2018-09-20T14:00:23-04:00

"This officer would be out of her depth in a puddle in a concrete, level parking lot"

Response by MAJ Judd Clemens made Sep 20 at 2018 2:29 PM

2018-09-20T14:29:34-04:00

Fails to meet the low standards he sets for himself. He is destined to push on doors marked pull.

Response by SGT Joseph Miller made Sep 20 at 2018 2:29 PM

2018-09-20T14:29:54-04:00

The worst I ever saw was

* does not hold enough intelligence to be cannon fodder.
* could make a freshly commissioned 2Lt look like Einstein.
* has met all standards to be promoted to Mickey D's burger flipper if constantly supervised.

Response by SGT Mark Rhodes made Sep 20 at 2018 4:10 PM

2018-09-20T16:10:28-04:00

I’m just laughing so hard at these comments. I used to work in the Personal Center and process NCOERS and as many as I read none were funny. You would think a relief of Command would have something juicy in it but I never seen one. Now that was 1986-1988 so I’m sure much has changed. By far this post/conversation is hilarious.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 20 at 2018 4:12 PM

2018-09-20T16:12:04-04:00

Considerate NCO, apologies to plants for stealing the oxygen they produce.

Response by LTC Russ Smith made Sep 20 at 2018 4:35 PM

2018-09-20T16:35:38-04:00

From a California National Guard battalion circa 1994: "His company performed admirably during the Los Angeles riots under the capable leadership of his executive officer."

Response by CSM Jim Corrin made Sep 20 at 2018 4:50 PM

2018-09-20T16:50:48-04:00

"Only moves forward in a retrograde operation.

Response by MSgt George Dunn made Sep 20 at 2018 5:08 PM

2018-09-20T17:08:07-04:00

Airman has reached rock bottom and continues to dig.

Response by SrA John Monette made Sep 20 at 2018 6:52 PM

2018-09-20T18:52:56-04:00

sounds like his old unit wanted to get rid of him quite badly. so they make any other unit think he is the second coming.

Response by CSM Andrew Perrault made Sep 20 at 2018 6:57 PM

2018-09-20T18:57:20-04:00

NCOER's were a pet peeve of mine. As the CSM I reviewed every NCOER, if you slammed an NCO, I would ask for the counseling statements and if you as a rater didn't do the counseling, then the NCO got a success rating and I counseled you as the rater on your responsibilities.

Response by SMSgt James Yearsley made Sep 20 at 2018 7:12 PM

2018-09-20T19:12:03-04:00

I offered this: Sgt Doe almost always has the correct uniform on.

Response by SrA Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 20 at 2018 7:30 PM

2018-09-20T19:30:52-04:00

A lot of these smart ass comments not only drove good people from the military, they were the definition of unprofessional.

Response by PO2 Anthony Cruz made Sep 20 at 2018 8:05 PM

2018-09-20T20:05:40-04:00

This officer is like a gyroscope, in constant motion but never really going anywhere.

Response by CPT Jeff Robinette made Sep 20 at 2018 8:08 PM

2018-09-20T20:08:43-04:00

An old but goody; "This Officer consistently fails to meet the exceeding LOW standards he his set for himself!"

Response by 1SG Steven Imerman made Sep 20 at 2018 8:12 PM

2018-09-20T20:12:58-04:00

I had a Major ask me for bullet comments for my own NCOER, once. I gave him one-

"This Master Sergeant's dashing good looks and razor sharp intellect are only surpassed by the prodigious length of his reproductive organ."

I knew when he grabbed it out of the In Box as I heard him laughing. He did not ask again, and it was not on my report.

Response by 1SG Steven Imerman made Sep 20 at 2018 8:18 PM

2018-09-20T20:18:37-04:00

I have heard this said about certain NCOs at various times, but never saw it on an evaluation-

"Couldn't lead a hungry private to the messhall."

Response by CPT Roger Taylor made Sep 20 at 2018 9:20 PM

2018-09-20T21:20:23-04:00

‘Continually fails to meet the exceedingly low standards he sets for himself and those under his command’

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 20 at 2018 9:42 PM

2018-09-20T21:42:18-04:00

This officer is destined to through life pushing on doors that are clearly marked pull.

Response by SP6 John Washburn made Sep 20 at 2018 9:44 PM

2018-09-20T21:44:18-04:00

Consistently sets low standards for self and persistently fails to meet them.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 20 at 2018 10:18 PM

2018-09-20T22:18:02-04:00

This NCO is currently robbing a village of it's idiot

Response by CPO William A. Bullard Jr. made Sep 20 at 2018 10:49 PM

2018-09-20T22:49:37-04:00

Writing evaluations today is a far cry from fifty years ago; it's a rodeo in bullshittery. From "O"s to NCOs, it's all the same, bullshit. WShen i first came into the Navy in '61, if you went to Mast you a were automatically 2.8 on the 4.0 scale then. To get Gold hashmarks you had to have at least 3.4 or better for two or more reporting cycles after twelve years. If you were 3.2 you were a good sailor and you were doing everything expected of you. There were damned few 3.6s [damned few] almost no 3.8s.; 4.0s were simply unheard of. This a

Response by SFC Christopher Fulbright made Sep 20 at 2018 10:49 PM

2018-09-20T22:49:51-04:00

Consistently sets low standards, then fails to meet them.

Response by PO1 Michael Bruner made Sep 20 at 2018 11:06 PM

2018-09-20T23:06:45-04:00

"This sailor's incompetency has reached lows not previously believed possible. Recommend for mandatory vasectomy."

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 20 at 2018 11:09 PM

2018-09-20T23:09:27-04:00

The effort this rater applied to writing this NCOER far exceeded the RATED NCOs effort during the actual rating period.

Response by CSM Charles Hayden made Sep 20 at 2018 11:26 PM

2018-09-20T23:26:35-04:00

MSG Xxxxxx’s leadership reflects his position as the senior member of the rear rank.

It didn’t work he continued to re-surface elsewhere!

Response by SPC Peter Hawley made Sep 20 at 2018 11:30 PM

2018-09-20T23:30:18-04:00

I remember one from the old G Gordon Liddy show. He has achieved rock bottom and has begun to dig.

Response by Capt Bryson Blake made Sep 20 at 2018 11:47 PM

2018-09-20T23:47:41-04:00

This one-man wrecking crew didn't settle for rock bottom once he achieved it! Once there, he continued digging to previously unimaginable levels, setting records that will never be matched!

Response by CPT Brock Young made Sep 21 at 2018 1:12 AM

2018-09-21T01:12:35-04:00

Wrote these two:

Section was a suscess in spite of his efforts.

No effort should be made to retain this NCO; he should be forced into retirement now.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 21 at 2018 1:34 AM

2018-09-21T01:34:10-04:00

Soldiers follow out of pure curiosity just to see what will happen next.

Response by Cpl Carey Gardner made Sep 21 at 2018 2:01 AM

2018-09-21T02:01:08-04:00

Looks like a fly boy, doing what ? Taking pictures of what I don’t know, Probably Marines kicking ass. Like always. Can’t say anything bad about the Air Force. Always up there protecting our guys.

Response by MSG Anthony DiFondi made Sep 21 at 2018 8:08 AM

2018-09-21T08:08:18-04:00

Sets standards low and fails to achieve them. I actually put this on an NCOER.

Response by CPT Wes Marsh made Sep 21 at 2018 8:43 AM

2018-09-21T08:43:46-04:00

Ah, some of the good ones go back to the days when the rater could talk about the wife and kids.

Response by LTC Kim Ready made Sep 21 at 2018 9:05 AM

2018-09-21T09:05:28-04:00

His ability to communicate far exceeds his capability to accomplish the mission!

Response by SFC Casimir Vital made Sep 21 at 2018 9:41 AM

2018-09-21T09:41:25-04:00

Likable with effort.

Response by SSgt John McGinnis made Sep 21 at 2018 10:40 AM

2018-09-21T10:40:06-04:00

I wrote one on an Airman and slung some dirt on the next rater, a dumb-ass Lt. He thought that he was smarter in me, and didn't look up a word that I threw in about him. When it hit the Col.s desk, he hauled me in and told me to knock the crap off. He had tears in his eyes and a dictionary on his desk. I wrote that under the stercorraceous tutoring of Lt. Myers, Airman Doe was driven to succeed. Stercorraceous describes an animal that eats it's own feces.

Response by CPT Dion Francis made Sep 21 at 2018 11:26 AM

2018-09-21T11:26:49-04:00

Should seek employment in the civilian sector ... on an OER!

Response by CPT Dion Francis made Sep 21 at 2018 11:31 AM

2018-09-21T11:31:50-04:00

Should seek civilian employment

Response by TSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 21 at 2018 12:39 PM

2018-09-21T12:39:11-04:00

Provided a habitat for woodland creatures..... this fool put a live Christmas tree on his porch and birds made a nest in it.

Response by CW3 Thomas Knight made Sep 21 at 2018 1:48 PM

2018-09-21T13:48:41-04:00

My favorite was an OER for a young LT. The Bn Commander wrote,” In my professional opinion LT ***** will not successfully complete his current period of active duty.”

Response by PV2 Mark Zehner made Sep 21 at 2018 2:05 PM

2018-09-21T14:05:38-04:00

A guy I was stationed with showed me this * plants are wasting their time creating oxygen on him. He got a dishonorable 2 months later

Response by SFC Peter Balfe made Sep 21 at 2018 3:48 PM

2018-09-21T15:48:32-04:00

Consistently sets low standards and fails to achieve them.

Response by MSgt Roy Pflughoeft made Sep 21 at 2018 9:25 PM

2018-09-21T21:25:53-04:00

* Has hit rock bottom and started to dig!

Response by MSgt Ray Carlson made Sep 21 at 2018 9:55 PM

2018-09-21T21:55:16-04:00

"I cannot recommend this NCO too highly."
" Nothing is too much to ask of this NCO."

Response by MSG Scott McBride made Sep 22 at 2018 11:00 AM

2018-09-22T11:00:40-04:00

Good on you for picking up the pieces. I don't have say that "new guy" failed himself as well. Its better for him to head on back to the block. Just sayin.

Response by COL David Doud made Sep 22 at 2018 11:11 AM

2018-09-22T11:11:46-04:00

Soldiers tend to follow him, but this is due more to a sense of curiosity on their part than ability on his part

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 22 at 2018 1:45 PM

2018-09-22T13:45:28-04:00

SSgt xxx requires supervision to perform even menial tasks.

Response by MSgt Wesley Ryerson made Sep 22 at 2018 6:17 PM

2018-09-22T18:17:19-04:00

MASF, the acronym for Mobile Aeromedical Staging Facility, is typically pronounced "massif".

Officer Performance Report bullet:
"Her efforts resulted in a MASF erection."

Response by TSgt F Mendez made Sep 22 at 2018 11:56 PM

2018-09-22T23:56:57-04:00

Donated blood giving the gift of life... they tried putting this one through, section chief was fucking pissed. Haha

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 26 at 2018 2:48 AM

2018-09-26T02:48:28-04:00

OK so I seen from this post some funny bullets but what I have not seen is the bullets from the writers NCOER's/OER's who let these NCO's/Officers fail. All these should have been corrected in Counseling Sessions, more training and guidance.

Response by MAJ El Bl made Oct 8 at 2018 9:25 PM

2018-10-08T21:25:03-04:00

Constantly looks for his troops so he can lead them.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 12 at 2018 8:51 PM

2018-10-12T20:51:40-04:00

"Hits rock bottom and continues to dig."
"Depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

Response by SSgt Derick Brock made Oct 17 at 2018 7:39 PM

2018-10-17T19:39:06-04:00

* Well into the twilight of a mediocre career.
* Airman has set a new standard in lack of punctuality
* Shining example of how it shouldn't be done
* Well on track to retiring as an A1C (that's E-3).
*

Response by Lt Col Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 23 at 2018 10:24 AM

2018-10-23T10:24:29-04:00

This officer is denying a village of their idiot

Response by CDR Bob Lange made Oct 25 at 2018 10:27 PM

2018-10-25T22:27:09-04:00

Actively supports equal opportunity by being abrasive and obnoxious to everyone without regard to race, religion, or country of origin.

Response by 1SG Michael Farrell made Oct 26 at 2018 3:33 AM

2018-10-26T03:33:13-04:00

"On his best days, fails to meet his own low standards."
And, one I had to do on a supply sergeant because he had to have an EER -- "Does well that which interests him." Of course, he ended up in a billet where he need TS/SCI access. That didn't go so well...I was coming in after PT, already pissed off, and the CO greeted me with "Oh First Sergeant! You have a visitor, Mr. Smith from the CI detachment. He needs to talk to you about Sergeant Shit for Brains. I stared at him, stared at the CI agent and just said, "How the hell did anyone put him in a billet that required that?" We sat down and the CI apprentice (yeah go figure) asked my opinion. "He would not intentionally betray the country; but, he'd also forget to lock the safe." I swallowed some coffee and then said, "I haven't had the interview for a long time, so I don't recall if the "Sex with animals question is still on there. If it is, Not to my knowledge. Every thing else, mark marginal." Kid said he had to go see the Chief because "Nobody ever says anything bad on these." Turns out the chief had been one of my students a decade earlier. Guy ended up not getting the access.

Response by 1SG Patrick Sims made Nov 10 at 2018 5:34 PM

2018-11-10T17:34:04-05:00

Placed in direct sunlight for the best results, water every other day.

Response by Cpl Ed Hines made Nov 20 at 2018 1:05 AM

2018-11-20T01:05:42-05:00

"Eats competitively"

Response by Sgt Andrew Pouliot made Nov 20 at 2018 2:47 AM

2018-11-20T02:47:00-05:00

I just filled out pro/cons for a brand new PFC (E-2) at my unit. I'm his squad leader and wrote this:

"SNM showed up on his first day without a shave or haircut. SNM requires constant supervision to perform even basic tasks." All my Cpls read this and said, "How did he even survive boot camp?"

Response by MSG Michael Gatto made Nov 21 at 2018 10:57 AM

2018-11-21T10:57:10-05:00

Works well under close supervision.

Response by PVT Ryan P. Quirk made Nov 21 at 2018 2:44 PM

2018-11-21T14:44:35-05:00

I wrote one years ago that I still use today for police officers.

"I wouldn't let this guy supervise a pencil"

Response by 1SG Dave McWilliams made Nov 21 at 2018 3:40 PM

2018-11-21T15:40:03-05:00

For me and again this is me as 1SG and looking at everything that comes across my desk before it is due to BN . I take Evals very serious and it means do or die to the high three ranks . Their have been those I’ve rated that have slipped through the cracks but they never did not on my watch . Usually my higher wouldn’t allow an Eval report to be used as a way for humor . It is true I’ve had side bar conversations about what I wanted to say about air breathers in my unit .
The key to a successful Eval report is quantifiable information based on facts and stats .

Response by SP5 Hank Vandenburgh PhD made Nov 21 at 2018 6:04 PM

2018-11-21T18:04:57-05:00

Specialist E-5 and above mafia’s gon’ getcha. I can’t think of anything dumber than a buck.

Response by PO2 Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 21 at 2018 7:36 PM

2018-11-21T19:36:01-05:00

*SME on career progression by purely existing*

Response by PO1 Mike Meehan made Nov 21 at 2018 9:34 PM

2018-11-21T21:34:57-05:00

Has difficulty finding his own backside with both hands and a flashlight.

Response by PO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 21 at 2018 10:16 PM

2018-11-21T22:16:35-05:00

*This petty officer will go far, and the sooner he starts the better.

Response by WO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 22 at 2018 1:59 AM

2018-11-22T01:59:17-05:00

Often comes to work, usually sober.

Is a favorite of the CSM; often used as an example of the reasons to manage your career.

This Platoon Leader provides ample opportunity for his Platoon Sergeant to serve as a Platoon Leader.

Response by SFC Kenneth Kreps made Nov 22 at 2018 8:45 AM

2018-11-22T08:45:55-05:00

Sounds to me more like a motivation issue. Senior leadership should be exercising leadership skills instead of ridiculing one of your own. If a soldier fails to perform, he either doesn't want to, (motivation), doesn't know how,( training), or he can't ( doesn't have tools or equip, or the mental capacity). All of those are leadership issues.

Response by Cpl Tommy Simmons made Nov 22 at 2018 10:41 AM

2018-11-22T10:41:22-05:00

You know that someone who would say this. THE only COMBAT they have seen was ON A VIDEO GAME.

Response by LTC Michael Parker made Nov 22 at 2018 12:06 PM

2018-11-22T12:06:23-05:00

Unlimited potential for improvement.

Response by COL Ron Quiett made Nov 22 at 2018 6:57 PM

2018-11-22T18:57:50-05:00

This actually came across my desk, This officer is still seeking responsibility for others actions.

Response by SSgt Boyd Herrst made Nov 22 at 2018 7:18 PM

2018-11-22T19:18:14-05:00

He can walk, talk, chew tobacco at same time w/o swallowing bis chew..Oh whips out performance rips at amazing speed..

Response by SSgt Boyd Herrst made Nov 22 at 2018 9:11 PM

2018-11-22T21:11:25-05:00

I got handed off to a new shift leader in our Airmen’s Dining Facility by the new D.H. Supervisor and my former S.L. had to write a Eval letter(I had just had a APR done on me 3 month prior when I transferred fromReserve to Active Duty.
My former S.L. Was kinda p.o.’d at losing me so quick... I was good at production
and good at leading so he made me 1st Cook. The new D.H.S. Didn’t like that because he knew the previous 1st Cook from a base in Europe. (Seems that they had a drink’g-gambling buddy clique going and he put a strong recommendation to the then D.H.S.to
Get him a 1st Cook position) <~ he had orders for the base and was doing a pre-empt before he returned.. back forward~>... So the New D.H.S. Had me handed over to the other shift leader who already had his 1st Cook.. So.. my former
Shiftleader is p.o.’d. ... in the letter he wrote. That A1C Herrst is a very efficient
Worker and leader of Airmen when I can’t be available.. His speed is such that I think a drug urinalysis and some further evaluation be conducted.. Respectfully SSGT. Xxx Xxxxx Dated Xx- xx-xxxx
Somebody forwarded to the Cmdr..and he
Followed through.. it was humiliating (He apologized.. he was trying to keep me from starting on the new shift.. and p.o. the new D.H.S. .. He didn’t think that he was marring my rep...) I had no worries, I had a congestion In my chest and had some meds and took them with me to testing.. The SSGT wrote it them on the test form should a positive come up and a lab tech had to observe me actually urinating in the bottle.. That done, I capped it hand handed it.. he looked at it and said he seen blood and a couple pebbles.. They weren’t accusing me of
drug use.. they thought I might of had kidney stones . The SSGT. forwarded a recommendation that I see a urology doc.
I think he was Chinese: Dr. Whee.. they told me.... i returned to my duty section..
“You’re in trouble now ! “... “What for ?” I
asked.. “you got SSGT. In big trouble over his insinuating you were using drugs!” ... “He made a false accusation..
After the Cmdr. Seen the Eval letter and ordered the test, he couldn’t recall the test, he did a ‘Stat’ putting it into the system.. it was bad enough I had congestion in my chest.. I had to take my meds to show them in case a positive came up from them.. but it worked out..
the lab tech send blood in my urine and some small stones.. now I got to go see a urologist ... So The DHS kinda saved me..
and so did SSGT... I’m not perturbed , no reason to be.. Eventually I went to see him.. The frigging pain got so bad ... I was supposed to go to the hospital at Fort Dix.. A MSGT . Got me a ride to the Navy Hospital at Philly Navy yard.. I went on my day off.. so no work missed.. spent the entire day there it seemed(we went at 0730 in the morn’g).. The driver new s bunch of short cuts(seriously?). I think if he just followed the route given we may had got got their faster...

Response by A1C Lexas Granger made Nov 23 at 2018 11:56 AM

2018-11-23T11:56:01-05:00

That’s grand. Push to promote to E-7 XD

Response by SFC Rob Thiele made Nov 23 at 2018 12:39 PM

2018-11-23T12:39:19-05:00

Meets minimum standards a majority of the time exceeding expectations

Always finds the Path of Least Resistance

Response by CMSgt Wesley Hudson made Nov 23 at 2018 3:04 PM

2018-11-23T15:04:18-05:00

Performs adequately as a team member with constant supervision.

Response by LTC Jack Hornbuckle made Nov 23 at 2018 4:16 PM

2018-11-23T16:16:54-05:00

Depriving a small village of its idiot

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 23 at 2018 8:59 PM

2018-11-23T20:59:57-05:00

Sets lofty goals but rarely accomplishes them.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 23 at 2018 10:51 PM

2018-11-23T22:51:32-05:00

I read one that said “this Nco could ultimately cause Chuck Norris to fail.” I almost wet myself and will alway remember that comment. Company commander made sure it was removed. But still the best bullet I’ve ever seen.

Response by LTC Walter Lott made Nov 24 at 2018 2:58 AM

2018-11-24T02:58:27-05:00

Here are some of my favorites:

“Some village is missing an idiot”

“This Officer has the wisdom of youth and the energy of old age”

Response by Capt ArcticWoods Farm made Nov 24 at 2018 9:53 AM

2018-11-24T09:53:40-05:00

Continually pushes on doors clearly marked “Pull”.

Response by SSG Larry Hatfield made Nov 24 at 2018 5:58 PM

2018-11-24T17:58:54-05:00

Saw this on a Company Commander's OER.
○ Morale in the unit highest after relieved of command

○ Only present on rainy days, golf back was the clue that he was in his office.

○ Leading Soldier's into battle would cause mass casualties to us.

○ Constantly had reports for Brigade completed due to delegating them to NCO's.

○ Personal Responsibility was his number one goal, only for Subordinates not himself.

○ The only thing more toxic than his leadership, is poison, in which some would prefer to take then him leading.

Response by Sgt Matt Owens made Nov 24 at 2018 8:39 PM

2018-11-24T20:39:47-05:00

Not an eval comment, but overheard an exchange at the rifle range between a 2nd Lt and a SSgt (PMI).
LT: (rather haughtily, after barely qualifying but still thinking he was hot shit) So, SSgt, what can I do to be more effective with my weapons.
SSgt: (without missing a beat) Throw your pistol at them and use your rifle as a club.

Response by Sgt Bob Darden made Nov 25 at 2018 8:24 AM

2018-11-25T08:24:54-05:00

Maintains balance while in the prone position

Response by SFC David Patterson made Nov 25 at 2018 10:07 AM

2018-11-25T10:07:44-05:00

o demonstarted minimal success fighting out of a wet paper bag.
...put this one in so a new Sr Rater would get my point...didnt stay in though

Response by SFC James Green made Nov 25 at 2018 10:43 AM

2018-11-25T10:43:57-05:00

This soldier cannot even meet the low standards he has set for himself.

Response by MSgt Eric Roseberry made Nov 25 at 2018 7:04 PM

2018-11-25T19:04:35-05:00

I used, "Supports the building infrastructure effectively"

Response by LTC David Howard made Nov 25 at 2018 10:56 PM

2018-11-25T22:56:57-05:00

Fails to meet the exceedingly low standards he sets for himself.

Response by 1stSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 26 at 2018 5:31 AM

2018-11-26T05:31:26-05:00

I always loved these two:
If his men had amoebic dysentery they wouldn't follow him into the latrine.
Or
His men would follow him anywhere.... but only out of morbid curiosity.

Response by CPO Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 26 at 2018 6:53 AM

2018-11-26T06:53:04-05:00

Maintains unit mobilization readiness by ensuring his own medical and dental readiness (E6)

Response by MSG Robert Ford made Nov 26 at 2018 10:30 AM

2018-11-26T10:30:03-05:00

How did he get to PCS with out change of rater or complete the record NCOER... I would call back to his CSM and find out why he was not rated...

Response by MSG Dale Simpson made Nov 26 at 2018 1:33 PM

2018-11-26T13:33:10-05:00

Best bullet comment on leadership I've ever read about a clueless NCO read "Could not lead a pack of starving wolves to fresh meat!"

Response by SSG(P) Jarrod Taylor made Nov 26 at 2018 8:48 PM

2018-11-26T20:48:44-05:00

I had a platoon leader once who had something to the effect of, “Recommend move to S-Shop where he may be under constant supervision.”

He eventually lost his clearance and went away.

Response by CSM Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 27 at 2018 12:13 AM

2018-11-27T00:13:12-05:00

I saw one where a unit tried to give a Soldier an ARCOM for cooking more rice dishes in the field when there was a screw up in rations. New Soldier just out of IADT. What a farce, it didn’t get signed off!!

Response by PO1 Michael Moe made Nov 27 at 2018 2:25 AM

2018-11-27T02:25:43-05:00

Could be among the best in his pier group if only he would try.

Response by MAJ Pete Joplin made Nov 27 at 2018 2:42 PM

2018-11-27T14:42:47-05:00

Among fellow Majors during the most sparse years, we kept our sense of humor and joked among ourselves. I used to brag that I knew I was going to be promoted from Major, straight to full Colonel, because my OER said, "this officer should not see LTC."
As retirement approached, the common question was about our future after the Army. Naturally, there was always the the stale oldie WalMart greeter COA. My personal favorite, especially to O-6-to-O-8s in my Chain of Command, was, "I'm going to suck d!ck and sell pencils, until I get my self-respect back... but only until I get my self respect back!"

Response by MSgt M Flack made Nov 27 at 2018 3:28 PM

2018-11-27T15:28:44-05:00

Troop is unable to overcome his initial inertia.

Response by SGT Lloyd Burge made Dec 10 at 2018 8:27 PM

2018-12-10T20:27:09-05:00

No one questions this man's morals or ethics. He has none to question.

Response by SPC Travis Grizzard made Dec 19 at 2018 12:23 PM

2018-12-19T12:23:09-05:00

Excellent mechanic, does top quality work on the military aircraft, doesn't look like he should be anywhere around military aircraft.

Response by Erin Mitchell made Dec 23 at 2018 5:34 PM

2018-12-23T17:34:21-05:00

I swear I work with these people... sadly I work at a gunpowder plant. *facepalm*

Response by CW4 Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 28 at 2018 1:18 PM

2018-12-28T13:18:33-05:00

Not actually an NCOER bullet, but rather a quarterly counseling for an Enlisted Soldier. I got this comment from the Soldier's supervisor. "Performs only when under direct supervision and multiple instructions given for the same tasker". Of course then the Supervisor gave examples (and dates) of the enlisted Soldier's performance, to support the comment above.

Response by PO2 Richard C. made Dec 28 at 2018 1:30 PM

2018-12-28T13:30:01-05:00

Civilian life, but one of my (nuclear security) LT's did the 3 month eval on a newbie S/O and said " XXX would need 3 weeks additional training to perform the duties of a traffic cone."

Response by SFC Greg Youmans made Dec 30 at 2018 11:46 PM

2018-12-30T23:46:13-05:00

SGT NCOER * Never makes the same mistake twice, but makes all of them once.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 1 at 2019 10:25 AM

2019-01-01T10:25:45-05:00

Early on, as a Squad Leader, I had passed word down for all the eligible SPCs to hand-jam some bullet comments on paper to assist their (mostly newLY-promoted) SGTs so they could work on the SPC/CPL Evals. This was before everything had to be done via the one sort-of-working computer we had. Our local Spec-Four Mafia Boss sent his back reading only one line, in large print to fill the page. "ALL HE DOES IS WIN!!"

Response by CSM Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 21 at 2019 7:26 AM

2019-01-21T07:26:32-05:00

o promote to SFC, only if there are no other candidates

o

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 4 at 2019 12:11 PM

2019-02-04T12:11:58-05:00

There are some humorous ones to be sure, but seriously, I always thought that humor, sarcasm or vindictive words reflected poorly on the rating chain, especially the SR rather.

It’s a professional document. If the rater and rating chain failed to counsel and document shortcomings, then the problem lies with them.....no amount of smarta$& remarks make any of that failure of leadership look ok.

Response by Cpl Bernard Bates made Feb 4 at 2019 1:03 PM

2019-02-04T13:03:59-05:00

The army used to have a double standard. I got caught up in it when I enlisted in the Army after a 4yr hitch in the Marine Corp. I went from E-3 to E-5 in 13 months. Sometimes I was an NCO at other times I was a flunkie. Whatever The moment called for. I hated it. I wonder if that's part of the reason they done away with Sp/5 and above. The Army must figure that not everyone can be a leader because they still have SP/4,s. I never seen a rank above SP/6 and very few of them. . In the Marine Corp I was an NCO. Cpl. E-4 I was a squad leader. Although I was a SP/5 I felt like I had been demoted. I went to the NCO. school at Ft. Knox as a SP/5 and with 3 months left in Vietnam the offered me 2nd Lt. if I would stay in country another year. I had been married for 8 months, I said no thanks and went home. Semper Fi.

Response by SGT(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 8 at 2019 11:54 AM

2019-02-08T11:54:09-05:00

"Service member has not made any choices or decisions that led to serious injury or impairment to those under their command."

Read: "Good job, you didn't get anyone killed this period. "

Response by SFC Scott Higgins made Feb 8 at 2019 1:28 PM

2019-02-08T13:28:47-05:00

That is really a tough one. I don't have any humorous ones other than I had an NCOIC that asked me for input on my NCOER. Since I was a relatively new NCO, I thought hey, a great learning experience, I will get to see how this is done when I move up in ranks.....EVERY SINGLE BULLET I gave him was used verbatim. In the exact order I gave them to him with absolutely zero changes. I should have sold myself a little higher :)

Response by 1SG John Highfill made Feb 8 at 2019 5:35 PM

2019-02-08T17:35:26-05:00

Lacks understanding of be know do

Response by SPC Tommy Dean made Feb 9 at 2019 12:20 PM

2019-02-09T12:20:25-05:00

Somewhere in America a village is being deprived of an idiot.

Response by MAJ Christopher Thompson made Feb 9 at 2019 5:22 PM

2019-02-09T17:22:38-05:00

O SSG XXX is willing to teach to anyone that will listen

O Soldier's matra remains "Mediocrity is my watchword"

Response by PO1 Michael Frey made Feb 10 at 2019 1:48 PM

2019-02-10T13:48:01-05:00

Petty Officer ***** is often mentioned in the same sentence as Jesus, as in "Christ, when are you going to get a friggin haircut?"

Response by CAPT Robert Weinberger made Feb 10 at 2019 8:14 PM

2019-02-10T20:14:47-05:00

Lcdr Smith has tremendous potential, unfortunately he makes no attempt to fulfil it.
Ensign Jones is a quick learner and never makes the same mistake twice. At his current rate of progress he only has about 6000 to go.
I actually used the first one.

Response by CW4 Eric Clayton made Feb 11 at 2019 6:41 AM

2019-02-11T06:41:03-05:00

Could not eve lead a group of Nuns in prayer

Do not promote under any circumstance regardless of any actual or perceived crisis

Send immediately downrange to hold targets for Special Operations Soldiers

Bring back SP5, SP6 and SP7; demote to SP4.

Response by MAJ William Smith made Feb 14 at 2019 3:25 PM

2019-02-14T15:25:07-05:00

Sets low level of goals and then fails to meet them.

Response by SCPO Don Baker made Feb 17 at 2019 9:08 AM

2019-02-17T09:08:18-05:00

I always liked the one, "with this individual stationed here, some village is missing it's idiot"

Response by SFC Charles Temm made Feb 22 at 2019 7:31 PM

2019-02-22T19:31:07-05:00

I heard of (but did not see) a Brit eval stating 'this officer should not breed'...pretty hard to top that I used to think

Response by CPT Keith Whitter made Feb 22 at 2019 10:57 PM

2019-02-22T22:57:56-05:00

Worst I ever heard was an LT, a graduate of West Point and evaluated by an LTC from West Point, who said he should seek further employment opportunities at McDonald's.

Response by SPC William Szkromiuk made Feb 24 at 2019 1:45 PM

2019-02-24T13:45:16-05:00

Back in the day, we did not have "Evaluations". I guarantee you mine would have been extra funny :-) If we had.

Response by LTC David Stark made Feb 28 at 2019 12:55 AM

2019-02-28T00:55:22-05:00

Only works well under constant supervision and when cornered like a rat in a trap.
This man is depriving a village somewhere of its idiot.
Has delusions of adequacy.

There are some others here:
https://www.military-quotes.com/forum/british-officer-evaluation-statements-t1853.html

British officer Evaluation Statements

I am surprised that these havent shown up on the forum. These are supposed to be classic, real statements made on an officers evaluation by their superiors

Response by CW4 Craig Urban made Feb 28 at 2019 4:30 AM

2019-02-28T04:30:14-05:00

I had a SFC who lied to me. He asked me if he could go to the army track and field trials. I said sure SFC Miller. You compete in your event (10k) and qualify and your gone. He came up to me one week out and said here are my orders. It said assistant coach. I called USAREUR MWR and got this secretary and she said the COL will call you back. I was All army racquetball 1984. Masters champion. He called me back and said Chief it is too late. So I told Miller get out of my office and report to the SGM. And when you get back your NCOER will be waiting
Plus a article 15 for lying. The SGM was not in his rating scheme. Me and the xo. No article 15 but I gave him a 50.

Response by SGT Donald Croswhite made Feb 28 at 2019 5:59 AM

2019-02-28T05:59:10-05:00

CSM asked me to explain the mortgage bubble of 2008.

Response by MSgt Donald Graves made Mar 4 at 2019 10:10 AM

2019-03-04T10:10:31-05:00

I once put in an APR, "He was sent to earth with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal man." An obvious quote from the Superman TV show. I thought the joke would be caught quickly and someone would at least ask me about. I was stunned when it was still in the final draft. This meant everyone up through the chain, even our CO, had seen this APR and was ready to sign it after final typing. (Yes, this was a long time ago.) I had to take the joke out or it would have been in his APR today. LOL

Response by SSG William Wall made Mar 6 at 2019 10:54 PM

2019-03-06T22:54:43-05:00

"...makes maximum use of limited potential." Buried in a longer paragraph, almost got that one snuck in...

Response by SFC Tim Mosher made Mar 14 at 2019 5:18 AM

2019-03-14T05:18:37-04:00

-Works well with direct suoervision.
-Has the potential to go far. The farther the better.

Response by SFC Casey O'Mally made Mar 14 at 2019 8:03 AM

2019-03-14T08:03:26-04:00

Is always present and prepared to provide input, especially when such is not expected.

I tried to use that one, and was vetoed.

Has great potential as a civilian.

Also got vetoed on that one. But both were overwhelmingly true.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 14 at 2019 8:13 AM

2019-03-14T08:13:08-04:00

"Submitting his retirement packet was the best thing he ever did during this rating period."

Response by SFC Jack McCarthy made Mar 14 at 2019 11:24 PM

2019-03-14T23:24:24-04:00

For a couple fills that were relieved of command I would have liked to have seen "constantly puts their career ahead of the welfare of their soldiers."

Response by PO3 Jeff Mixon made Mar 15 at 2019 4:34 PM

2019-03-15T16:34:45-04:00

In my civilian life, I am often called upon to nominate colleagues for awards. After reading my bullet points, my pears always ask how I learned to polish turds so well. My answer? "I was a Submarine Yeoman that had to write officer fitreps."

Response by CW5 Edward "Tate" Jones Jr. made Mar 15 at 2019 9:34 PM

2019-03-15T21:34:20-04:00

“This officer is destined to go through life PUSHING on doors marked PULL.”

or

“The only reason this officer’s soldiers would follow him into combat is out of idle curiosity.”

Response by CW5 Edward "Tate" Jones Jr. made Mar 15 at 2019 9:35 PM

2019-03-15T21:35:24-04:00

This officer fails to achieve the exceedingly low standards he sets for himself.

Response by LCDR Robert Turner made Mar 17 at 2019 10:06 AM

2019-03-17T10:06:08-04:00

Here’s one I read on a Royal Navy evaluation:

“<<name>> should not be promoted if there is a Wednesday in the week.” No that’s a clear recommendation!!!

Response by SSG William Edwards made Mar 17 at 2019 3:39 PM

2019-03-17T15:39:15-04:00

What is realy bad is when your unit leadership is lazy to write yours and then tell you to write it. USAF Not having the leadership to rate your performance Major all the way down

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 18 at 2019 7:54 PM

2019-03-18T19:54:41-04:00

I used this for one of my over achievers once.

promote at the leisure of the Army

Response by LTC Warren Miller made Mar 19 at 2019 5:57 AM

2019-03-19T05:57:28-04:00

“He is a major asset to the command.”

I called him over to check this comment. Then, as he watched, I erased the last 3 1/2 words. We laughingly agreed both statements were accurate.

Response by SSgt Daniel d'Errico made Mar 19 at 2019 11:17 PM

2019-03-19T23:17:52-04:00

Who ever would write comments like these in an AER, is truly unprofessional and not worthy to wear NCO stripes. PERIOD.

Response by MAJ Carl Owen made Mar 20 at 2019 5:59 PM

2019-03-20T17:59:33-04:00

This officer never makes the same mistake twice. He does, however, make all of them the first time.

Response by SPC Dan Kissling made Mar 22 at 2019 2:10 AM

2019-03-22T02:10:23-04:00

Part of me is sure that I served with people that these are written for

Response by SMSgt Terry Ranes made Mar 22 at 2019 10:18 AM

2019-03-22T10:18:29-04:00

"lost instructions of how to remove urine from boot.."

Response by SFC Jim Ruether made Mar 22 at 2019 12:47 PM

2019-03-22T12:47:19-04:00

(1). This individual can walk on water without getting his boots wet!
(2). No one holds him in higher regard than he does
(3). When asked what he liked the most about the Army, he replied "Me"

These are or were actual responses and or observations by raters and had to be read and acted on accordingly by myself as a Senior Rater. We all knew the individual when this NCOER came in.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 24 at 2019 5:32 PM

2019-03-24T17:32:23-04:00

SSG H...... consistently plays Solitare on the Maintenance computer, has yet to win one game.
Has set low standards and failed to achieve them.

Response by Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 25 at 2019 5:00 PM

2019-03-25T17:00:25-04:00

Too funny !!! So, he's barely alive !!! LoL !!!

Response by SGM Jere Cornell made Apr 2 at 2019 2:41 PM

2019-04-02T14:41:56-04:00

This officer is not qualified to lead a troop of girls around the corner for an ice cream cone.
Never let's common sense nor his obsession for alcohol interfere in maki g timely decisions.
His 3rd grade GED has not served him well thus far in his career

Response by GySgt Kenneth Pepper made Apr 8 at 2019 3:31 PM

2019-04-08T15:31:34-04:00

One of mine, from my tour as a recruiter:
"Relies on his wit and personality rather than hard work to successfully meet his monthly objective."

Response by SFC James Lahtonen made Apr 9 at 2019 7:15 PM

2019-04-09T19:15:59-04:00

This NCO “looks” like a recruiting poster, but that’s about it

Response by GySgt Kenneth Pepper made Apr 11 at 2019 12:34 PM

2019-04-11T12:34:29-04:00

"Relies on his wit and personality rather than hard work to successfully accomplish his assigned monthly goals."
From one of mine while I was on recruiting duty.

Response by PO2 Russell "Russ" Lincoln made Apr 12 at 2019 10:30 AM

2019-04-12T10:30:40-04:00

The end result of this members efforts is f***ked as a soup sandwich.

Response by Brad Miller made Apr 14 at 2019 11:57 PM

2019-04-14T23:57:00-04:00

Owwww! :)

Response by CPO Donald Unser made May 5 at 2019 1:21 PM

2019-05-05T13:21:59-04:00

"Like a fine wine, he needs more time in the barrel."

Response by CW4 Craig Urban made May 18 at 2019 5:39 AM

2019-05-18T05:39:15-04:00

How about a true one
SFC miller is the worst NCO I had the dishonor to work for me. Alls he cares about is attempting to make the army trials in in the 10. I with concurrance of my senior rater have relieved him of duty and have asked human resourses to transfer him. He is currently working for the Sgm. He lied to me.

Response by CSM Private RallyPoint Member made May 20 at 2019 9:16 AM

2019-05-20T09:16:27-04:00

I recently rated a SFC who is definitely ready to retire. I consider him the highest skill level 10 Soldier in the army. The senior rater put "Soldier For Life" in the successive assignment. love it.

Response by CW2 Private RallyPoint Member made May 21 at 2019 5:11 PM

2019-05-21T17:11:47-04:00

"Actions at JRTC greatly improved 1SGs casevac plans". Aka I died a lot

Response by 2LT Simon Jones made May 22 at 2019 3:11 PM

2019-05-22T15:11:43-04:00

My favorite review was for a subaltern in the British Army’s Dragoon Guards (an ancient cavalry regiment) was “I would not bread from this officer”. The second is claimed by a friend of mine, “This office must stop seeing the Navy as a method of transport between social events”.

Response by MSgt Brian Williams made May 23 at 2019 8:33 AM

2019-05-23T08:33:59-04:00

Anyone who gets Sgt So and So to work for them is truly lucky.

Response by 1st Lt Richard Austin made May 31 at 2019 1:47 AM

2019-05-31T01:47:18-04:00

Always pushing on doors marked pull

Response by LtCol Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 10 at 2019 12:05 PM

2019-06-10T12:05:01-04:00

In the old USMC fitrep system (prior to 2000) it was all about the comments. The new PES stopped a lot of the sarcastic humor, but some of the older comments were hilarious: "Sharper than the leading edge of a bowling ball..." "The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train never seems to come down the tracks..." "His Marines follow him out of sheer curiosity..."

Response by SGT Jim Wiseman made Jun 12 at 2019 8:11 PM

2019-06-12T20:11:54-04:00

Much needed chuckle out of those bullet points!

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 20 at 2019 12:22 PM

2019-06-20T12:22:16-04:00

The best NCOER comment I ever saw was "Managed to take the oath of Enlistment".

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 1 at 2019 9:37 AM

2019-07-01T09:37:14-04:00

1) Soldier has reached rock bottom, but continues to dig.
2) Soldier works well under constant supervision.

Response by Sgt Mona Hemphill-Bellmore made Jul 9 at 2019 10:56 PM

2019-07-09T22:56:38-04:00

I was the first WAF assigned to the Security Police Sq at Tyndall AFB, FL in 1970 and part of my duties as an Admin Spec E-4 was to type performance evals for everybody when due, after each supervising officer chose two or three statements from a list. Another WAF was assigned in 1973 and I was instructed to train her. Proofreading was very important back then, when we still used carbon paper and an eraser on typed documents. I always proofread closely and it was a good thing, because one eval statement (as typed) read, "SSgt. Smith is a real ass to the USAF". It was the third time the young E-3 would have to re-type the document.

Response by LTC John Shull made Jul 15 at 2019 11:29 PM

2019-07-15T23:29:34-04:00

This officer's decision process reminds me of the spinning windows in a Las Vegas slot machine: in that once you pull the lever, there is a significant time that passes before the cherries, oranges, and lemons line up.

Response by LT Richard Mondak made Jul 17 at 2019 9:18 AM

2019-07-17T09:18:30-04:00

As a Navy Chief Petty Officer, I wrote the preliminary eval for an outstanding PO1 (E-6) and when I couldn't think of anything else to get this guy through the Selection Board, I wrote, "He is better now than I ever was, and you promoted me". My XO laughed and for some reason kept it there but the CO wasn't amused. He was selected that year for Chief Petty Officer (without my statement).

Response by SSgt Jw Guest made Aug 4 at 2019 11:58 PM

2019-08-04T23:58:48-04:00

"should not be allowed to fly for vacation, much less a vocation"

Response by CPL James S. made Aug 26 at 2019 12:31 AM

2019-08-26T00:31:10-04:00

when introduced to one of my supervisors, I was given a briefing and paperwork with a list of what he required of me. The paperwork was pretty typical, containing a list of things such as dress and appearance, professionalism, skils and knowledge, continuing education, etc.

He closed with a simple yet poignant reminder of what may happen if we failed as his subordinate: a Burger King application

Response by CPL Joseph Elinger made Oct 9 at 2019 12:11 PM

2019-10-09T12:11:06-04:00

How about this spin(?):
"When PO XXX joined The Navy,
The Village People lost an idiot."

Just thought I'd embellish.
LOL !

Response by SN Mike Duffy made Oct 26 at 2019 6:18 PM

2019-10-26T18:18:34-04:00

Reminds me of a fat E-6 over 16 that voted Democrat in '88.
I don't want to go to war!
How about go home and get a job with no pension?

Response by SFC Jonathan Surprise made Oct 26 at 2019 6:37 PM

2019-10-26T18:37:43-04:00

" o has supreme confidence in himself and his abilties"

Response by Capt Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 27 at 2019 1:49 PM

2019-10-27T13:49:39-04:00

You are recommending this person for promotion? You must be out of your mind.

Response by TSgt David Marti made Oct 28 at 2019 12:51 PM

2019-10-28T12:51:32-04:00

I wrote these one of my less than stellar airmen. "Airman Snuffy should be permitted to exercise early out as he is depriving a village of an idiot." "Airman Snuffy has unsurprisingly failed repeated room inspections due to an ecologically friendly philosophy" and finally the coup de main, "Airman Snuffy's repeated uniform & hygiene issues are due to his willingness to set the example in showing what NOT to be like to the new airmen arriving from technical training.

Response by SPC Henry Francis made Nov 11 at 2019 11:05 PM

2019-11-11T23:05:19-05:00

I read this on an E6 affidavit in support of a General Discharge (UHC)for an E4 11B2P:
“Has inability to expend effort constructively.”
shortly after this troop had earned the EIB and received a personal commendation letter from the ROTC Commandant for outstanding performance as M-60 Range Card instructor of ROTC cadets which prompted his unit brigade and battalion commanders to also issue letters of commendation. These things sometimes bear little resemblance to the truth, especially if they are only written to achieve an objective.

Response by LCDR Michael Pumilia made Nov 23 at 2019 10:47 PM

2019-11-23T22:47:09-05:00

The Dept head of the deck division on a carrier shared the eval of an ensign of the 1st division.
"Instructs his sailors in the use of an officer's sword during morning muster on the foc'sle. His sword play does not match Erroll Flynn nor John Paul Jones."
This explains why I was asked to assist the ship's XO during a deck dept evolution during an emergency. The First Lieutenant told me he needed me because all he had was new ensigns. I was the air dept admin assistant/ ATO. But I was also an officer-of-the-deck (underway) while getting my SWO badge.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 24 at 2019 2:10 AM

2019-11-24T02:10:05-05:00

Excels at turning oxygen to carbon dioxide.

Response by MAJ Judd Clemens made Nov 28 at 2019 12:14 AM

2019-11-28T00:14:06-05:00

This soldier is destined to go through life pushing on doors marked pull.
He fails to meet the low standards he sets for himself.
He should be retained on active duty as a bad example.

Response by SGM Gregory Miller made Jan 5 at 2020 8:12 AM

2020-01-05T08:12:03-05:00

Save promotions for future peers.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 8 at 2020 11:54 AM

2020-01-08T11:54:25-05:00

My two favorites that I have actually used:

0 Has a firm grasp of the obvious

0 There is a place for him in the US Army; it’s just not here!

Response by LTC Russ Smith made Dec 20 at 2020 9:53 PM

2020-12-20T21:53:56-05:00

From a National Guard company commanders oer. Needless to say he was none select for promotion to major: "His company performed admirably during the Los Angeles riots under the capable leadership of his executive officer."

Response by A1C Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 19 at 2023 5:09 AM

2023-07-19T05:09:55-04:00

Interesting articles keep posting more! https://davethediver.io

Dave The Diver

Dave The Diver - Explore the deep ocean, in an endless adventure at the bottom of the ocean.