COL Roger Lintz 394035 <div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I&#39;ll start this one off with a self deprecating story. I was a newly minted Infantry 2LT dumber than a bag of hammers right out of Ranger school who&#39;d just reported in to my very first unit which happened to be in the field. I was told to wait outside for the CO and 1SG who promptly showed up and with little fanfare said &quot;hop in the back LT.&quot; So here I am riding in the back of an old M151 Jeep, I know I&#39;m seriously dating myself but we were just getting the HUMVEE&#39;s. Anyway, I&#39;m sitting in the back seat behind the company commander and there was an E-7 sitting behind the driver who happened to be the 1SG. The jeep had no top on it and I&#39;m 6&#39; 6&quot; so I&#39;m naturally sitting up pretty high, about a full kevlar and a half above the E-7 to my left. Anyway, just before I got in the back of the Jeep I&#39;d put a fat dip of Copenhagen in my lip. Well the 1SG was in a big hurry and hauling the mail so to speak to get back downrange and we were screaming down the tank trail. About a mile down the trail I had to spit so I leaned over the side of the jeep trying not to get bounced out and spit a huge stream of tobacco juice out of my mouth. The slipstream of the jeep caught my gigantic glob of tobacco spit and carried it around the back of the Jeep up the left side and slapped it against the E-7&#39;s face sitting beside me. Now that might not have been so bad except he just sat there, silent, stoic and grizzled while I contemplated throwing myself under the wheels of the hurtling Jeep and thinking Holy Mother of God that didn&#39;t just happen, did it? After what seemed like forever the E-7 slowly turned to look at me with dark brown tobacco juice clinging to the side of his face and dripping from his chin and said, &quot;LT, I&#39;m SFC Dravland your Platoon Sergeant and I can see we&#39;re going to get along just fine.&quot; I almost passed out and fell over the side of the Jeep. Talk about your first impressions. We absolutely DID get along and man was I lucky. 2014-12-31T10:36:34-05:00 COL Roger Lintz 394035

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I&#39;ll start this one off with a self deprecating story. I was a newly minted Infantry 2LT dumber than a bag of hammers right out of Ranger school who&#39;d just reported in to my very first unit which happened to be in the field. I was told to wait outside for the CO and 1SG who promptly showed up and with little fanfare said &quot;hop in the back LT.&quot; So here I am riding in the back of an old M151 Jeep, I know I&#39;m seriously dating myself but we were just getting the HUMVEE&#39;s. Anyway, I&#39;m sitting in the back seat behind the company commander and there was an E-7 sitting behind the driver who happened to be the 1SG. The jeep had no top on it and I&#39;m 6&#39; 6&quot; so I&#39;m naturally sitting up pretty high, about a full kevlar and a half above the E-7 to my left. Anyway, just before I got in the back of the Jeep I&#39;d put a fat dip of Copenhagen in my lip. Well the 1SG was in a big hurry and hauling the mail so to speak to get back downrange and we were screaming down the tank trail. About a mile down the trail I had to spit so I leaned over the side of the jeep trying not to get bounced out and spit a huge stream of tobacco juice out of my mouth. The slipstream of the jeep caught my gigantic glob of tobacco spit and carried it around the back of the Jeep up the left side and slapped it against the E-7&#39;s face sitting beside me. Now that might not have been so bad except he just sat there, silent, stoic and grizzled while I contemplated throwing myself under the wheels of the hurtling Jeep and thinking Holy Mother of God that didn&#39;t just happen, did it? After what seemed like forever the E-7 slowly turned to look at me with dark brown tobacco juice clinging to the side of his face and dripping from his chin and said, &quot;LT, I&#39;m SFC Dravland your Platoon Sergeant and I can see we&#39;re going to get along just fine.&quot; I almost passed out and fell over the side of the Jeep. Talk about your first impressions. We absolutely DID get along and man was I lucky.

2014-12-31T10:36:34-05:00 2014-12-31T10:36:34-05:00 CW5 Private RallyPoint Member 394889

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Sir, you set a VERY HIGH standard with that story! Wow, I was laughing out loud reading it!!! I'm glad you recovered from that first impression.<br /><br />I have a couple cute stories, nothing to compare with what you shared! One time a new Battalion Commander visited the CI field office where I was stationed. I had been at Battalion HQ for about a year prior to being assigned to the field office (Kaiserslautern, Germany). The CO was walking around, meeting the CI agents, and when he got to me the topic of where I had been came up. I told him that I spent a year at HQ before recently coming to the field office. He then asked me, "How did you find it?" He meant, "How did you like the field office, compared to HQ?" I understood, "How did you find the office (literally)?" So, I said, "Sir, I knew where the office was. During my year at the HQ, I visited here several times. I had no trouble finding the office." Then there was an awkward silence ... and somebody translated the question for me.<br /><br />As I said, it doesn't compare to your story, sir, but I most likely did NOT impress my new Battalion CO with my quick wit.

2014-12-31T19:06:07-05:00 2014-12-31T19:06:07-05:00 CMSgt James Nolan 394940

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div><a class="dark-link bold-link" role="profile-hover" data-qtip-container="body" data-id="304443" data-source-page-controller="question_response_contents" href="/profiles/304443-col-roger-lintz">COL Roger Lintz</a> And I bet you did sir. That is funny.

2014-12-31T19:57:40-05:00 2014-12-31T19:57:40-05:00 PO3 Private RallyPoint Member 394957

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I was on a submarine and we had some Academy Midshipmen riding us for their "Summer Cruise" and this led to one of my greatest "that didn't just happen" moments...<br /><br />Ordinarily, to empty the san tank (aka the poop tank), the auxiliaryman of the watch would pump the stuff overboard. During this particular evolution, however, the san pump was down and they had to pressurize the tanks to blow the stuff overboard. This changed the valve line-up and the head (aka latrines for you Army types) was secured (and danger-tagged to show it was out of service).<br /><br />One of the Midshipmen had just woken up and stumbled into the head, apparently not seeing the signs, and used the urinal. When he opened the valve to "flush" it and the path of least resistance led to the poor bastard picking little toilet paper butterflies out of his hair and eyes and seriously needing a shower and an emergency session with the laundry, lol...<br /><br />When you first get onboard submarines, you hear these stories, but you can never truly appreciate them until you see it for yourself (hopefully as a witness and not a victim, lol).

2014-12-31T20:11:16-05:00 2014-12-31T20:11:16-05:00 LTC Tom Carroll 397399

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>That exact same thing happened to me as a new LT posted to 2/7 Cav in 1978. I also remember sharing that story with a young ROTC cadet a few years later......

2015-01-02T12:09:13-05:00 2015-01-02T12:09:13-05:00 MSgt Michael Durkee 397651

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Our first night in BMT, September 1987, we made it to our barracks after much ass chewing from the TIs. Our Flight TI barked at us to square away our gear and get in the latrine and remove all that damned facial hair. "I don't want to see a hair on those faces!" We all fervently broke out our shave kits and dug in...I looked to my right and saw some genius had just shaved off his eyebrows, and the guy next to him had just shaved off one of his! The TI came in around that time and I think he literally shit a brick. He was so pissed he was at a loss for words, and the poor bastard that had just shaved off one eyebrow...didn't know whether to shave off the other one or just let the shaved one grow back. He chose the latter.<br />The best part was the Snake Pit and the jeering our TI received from the other TIs as these two rocket surgeons passed by with their breakfast/lunch/dinner trays. Definitely took a little heat off the rest of us.

2015-01-02T14:42:46-05:00 2015-01-02T14:42:46-05:00 PO2 Private RallyPoint Member 397729

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I was a plane captain at HC-5 in Guam standing out in front of the bird during an FCF ground turn at the far end of the flight line on Andersen AFB. I had been there for 3 or 4 hours when during one of the spin ups a boonie pig charges straight at the the bird out of nowhere. The aircrewman had stepped out to try to wave the pig away or scare it off but had no effect. The pig made 5 or 6 passes at the helicopter before it ran back off into the grass, never to be seen again.

2015-01-02T15:32:56-05:00 2015-01-02T15:32:56-05:00 CW2 Private RallyPoint Member 399442

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I nearly snorted scotch through my nose reading this vignette. Thank you for the laugh, sir, and for the reminder that no matter how much thought we put into action, fate has a way of turning it on its head.

2015-01-03T14:05:01-05:00 2015-01-03T14:05:01-05:00 MAJ JohnK Wright, V 400238

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Funny!

2015-01-03T21:52:55-05:00 2015-01-03T21:52:55-05:00 MAJ JohnK Wright, V 400245

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>We once had to go to a Battalion Officer's Social at someone's house. I think my wife and another wife were showing their expecting bellies in their dresses in the kitchen talking. There happened to be a third wife standing there too.<br /><br />My first sergeant, came into the room, and made a comment about the 3 being pregnant and expecting. Problem is that the third wife was not, she was just a little big in that area. He was so embarrassed he excused himself and soon left a bit early.

2015-01-03T22:00:44-05:00 2015-01-03T22:00:44-05:00 MAJ JohnK Wright, V 400251

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>My Company deployed to Puerto Rico for 3 weeks for Combat Engineering Training with the Navy Seabees. We were flying in a C130 and several other soldiers who were not from our unit, were taking advantage of this to get in a "hollywood" qualifying jump on their home island. We got down to a low altitude, the plane was bouncing all over the place. I was sitting in the back with my camera going to take some photos. Several of these soldiers were just loosing their lunches into bags...I thought it was funny and started laughing...Little did I know I was soon reaching for a bag myself...

2015-01-03T22:01:06-05:00 2015-01-03T22:01:06-05:00 LCpl Rustin Poorboy 709234

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I was running to a range in SOI and I was carrying a saw and I was not a big guy I tripped did a front sumersault and never missed a beat lol I don't think anyone was the wiser to my relief lol.

2015-05-30T21:18:41-04:00 2015-05-30T21:18:41-04:00 LTC Private RallyPoint Member 973194

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Good laugh!

2015-09-17T15:38:02-04:00 2015-09-17T15:38:02-04:00 2014-12-31T10:36:34-05:00