Posted on Aug 16, 2016
James Murray
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[Today's post is part 1 of a 4 part series, in the words of a PatientsLikeMe member diagnosed with cancer.]

For Jacquie, a business owner and entrepreneur from New Mexico, 2013 was the worst year of her life – she’d lost two beloved pets to old age and then was diagnosed with lung cancer, which soon turned into colon cancer. After rigorous chemotherapy and the adoption of a new dog, Roman, Jacquie joined PatientsLikeMe this past September and has been sharing her positive, never-back-down attitude with the rest of the community. In her own words...

How has your life changed since your diagnosis?

“Wow, I have to say I am not the same person I was before I was diagnosed and gone through everything I did. I don’t think anyone can. I find myself less tolerant of people who complain about the smallest of things like burnt cookies because they don’t matter.

Material wealth means nothing to me anymore. I lived well, worked hard and made good money. Now that is not that important to me. I’ve had all that and lost it due to cancer. And anyone’s life can be changed on a dime. So cherish what you have now, enjoy life and create memories. And take care of your health.

Cancer is a mentally and physical life altering journey. Mine was pretty extensive, but I am sure there are a lot of other women and men who can identify with this. If you approach it with knowledge and a positive attitude the transitioning is much easier.

I lost all of my hair head to toe in the first few treatments of chemo, but I made it work with hats and an assortment of wigs. Cute hats, wigs, and learning ways to use makeup can make a huge difference in how you see yourself and how you feel about yourself. I still went to charity dinners, events, and I’ve done several fashion shows for cancer even on chemo. No one was the wiser that I was even wearing wigs. I never liked looking at myself in the mirror but accepted it as part of my “job.” My hair is growing back in and I’ve gone out in public. It’s not me at all, but it’s who I really am right now.

Now is the part where I pick up the pieces and put myself back together. How do I deal with the hair growing back? I let it breathe, use some cream to style it and a headband. I wear my wigs or a cute cap when I am running errands. I am trying to put together a monthly course to teach women how to apply makeup and wear scarves. I am lucky that I already have the experience, but it surprised me how many women do not know what to do with themselves so they stay home. Not right…Getting cancer is bad enough but having to feel ugly shouldn’t be part of it.”

To connect with other veterans and members like Jacquie who want to hear how you cope, join PatientsLikeMe today at http://www.patientslikeme.com/join/rallypoint (it’s free)!
Edited >1 y ago
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Responses: 6
SFC Richard M.
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23 years Active Duty (still in), tours to Iraq and Afghanistan, and I have stage 4 cancer. You bet I've had a life changing diagnosis.
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CPT Joseph K Murdock
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I am fighting depression. Sometimes its like watching paint dry. I try to stay busy even if I don't like doing it.
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SSG Robert "Rob" Wentworth
SSG Robert "Rob" Wentworth
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Hello Capt. Murdock,
Just know you are not alone friend.
I hope you are seeking professional help from a good Psychologist/Psychiatrist team at your local VA Hospital.
The VA has really come a long way with respect to increasing their budget with respect to Mental Health facilities, staffing & Pharmacy within their Hospital Clinics. If you feel you are being short-changed, contact your Hospital Administrator for assistance.
Good Luck Captain!
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Capt Retired
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Yep, when I was diagnosed as a diabetic.
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