Posted on Oct 12, 2015
CPO Andy Carrillo, MS
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-gwjJ_NXKU

The science suggests that we need to be praise our kids on process, not results. For example, instead of dealing with defeat by telling our kids that “everyone’s a winner at heart,” we should praise them for how hard they hustled, what they did right and how they improved.

But it’s not just the “losers” we need to worry about; it’s the “winners” too. Phrases like “You’re a winner” or “You’re a natural” can actually be toxic to how kids deal with losing. As the work of child psychologist Carol Dweck shows us (link is external), praising kids for their innate talents (in this study’s case, their intelligence) actually makes it more difficult for them to cope when they’re actually confronted with losing. Kids who are praised for their effort rather than their ability tend to strive harder, enjoy activities more, and deal with failure in a more resilient way.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-new-you/201409/should-we-give-our-kids-participation-trophies
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Responses: 22
Lt Col Scott Shuttleworth
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Edited 5 mo ago
I believe the everyone gets a trophy is BS. Let me pontificate. I think you have to put in the time, effort, sweat, determination, grit and all the other things to be successful. When we give trophy's for a kid putting on a football jersey or a baseball jersey or a soccer uniform and sit on the couch till game time and half heartedly don't attend practices because mommy says they weren't in the mood that day, show up and give no effort and don't understand the plays and hurt the team and whine because they didn't get to play then get a well done trophy for showing up...that reinforce sloppy and lazy behavior...when you get to a job...show up or don't show up and do your job half assed and see what it gets you. Don't show up for class in college or don't do the required assignments see what happens. In the military we train folks hard and only the best and best qualified get the jobs they want...you can't show up to pilot training , fly when you want to, the sorties you want to, and locations you want to and still get your wings...there is no participation trophy for not excelling! Try Ranger school, BUDS, PJ and TACP schools...same same.

When I was growing up I tried out for the baseball team...thought I was ready...I wasn't...I got cut...you know what it taught me a valuable lesson...not everyone can do what they want. You know what I did, I practiced for the entire next year, throwing, catching, batting, fielding and I tried out the next year and made it but barely...but I made it because I didn't get damn participation trophy...I worked for it. Same for my daughter, we taught her the same way...she tried out for cheer her 8th grade year...didn't make it, guess what, she bought a trampoline, practiced her stunts and jumps over the year and the next year made the High School squad as a Freshman.

It is a good practice to tell kids you are improving, great hustle, and if you work a little bit harder as an individual and as a team we can win...but to give everyone trophy for breathing is BS in my book. In life there are winners and losers in every activity...just stop and think about your daily walk at home, the office, or at leisure...compromise all day long to get what you need to be successful...Sometimes you win sometimes you lose but somebody is always on one side or the other.

Maj Marty Hogan Lt Col Charlie Brown 1stSgt Glenn Brackin
Cpl Craig Morton SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth COL Mikel J. Burroughs
LTC Stephen C. CPL Dave Hoover PO3 Bob McCord
Lt Col John (Jack) Christensen Sgt Wayne Wood PVT James Strait
SFC Jack Champion MSgt Dave Hoffman MSgt Stephen Council
PO1 H Gene Lawrence 1SG Steven Imerman SGT Steve McFarland Cynthia C.
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Lt Col John (Jack) Christensen
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SFC Intelligence Analyst
SFC (Join to see)
6 mo
"Participation trophies" have existed for about 100 years...so...yeah.
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Lt Col Scott Shuttleworth
Lt Col Scott Shuttleworth
6 mo
SFC (Join to see) - Disagree..not everyone made the cut, not everyone got pizza and ice cream after they lost the game, not everyone got a trophy for wearing the team uniform...life is and was hard and by enabling this in the past 30 or so years it has produced an entitled bunch of whiners who think they are owed something because they showed up to work or didn't show up and still wanted something. They want promotions for just doing their jobs when the guy or girl next to them hustled and did more for the company or the unit, they want handouts because it is owed to them because they are breathing... Hundreds of years...I can guarantee my grandad's (WWII Generation), my dad's (Korea/Vietnam Generation) and most of my generation wouldn't even ask for such...you didn't make the cut well one of two things happened...it motivated you to do better and work harder or you chose another path...you didn't get nothing for just showing up.
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SPC Michael Duricko, Ph.D
SPC Michael Duricko, Ph.D
3 mo
Very well said and couldn't agree more.
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SSG Squad Leader
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I do not believe that participation trophies are productive. It shows the youth that you can get the same credit just for being there as the kid who has natural ability and works his tail off. If you were at a place of employment and the boss said you weren't going to get a raise because they couldn't give the slacker next to you one also and it wouldn't be fair, how would you react? You deserve more if you work harder it's what pushes people to be better.
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SGT Jerrold Pesz
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Participation Trophies are simply a reward for failure.
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