Have you achieved "Work-Life Balance?"

Col Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 07 Apr 2014 19:40:46 -0400

What does 'work-life balance' mean to you? Have you achieved it? Is it something that you promote? If so, how? What specific steps, techniques, tips, and/or stories do you have to offer? Since this is all about sharing, communicating, and learning from each other, what are those nuggets of wisdom you'd like to share on the subject? I'm sure we've all learned a thing-or-two in pursuit of this ever-elusive balancing act between career, education, family, community, etc., etc. So, what've you learned over the years? What would you do differently if you could do it all over again? Well, this should be a thoroughly interesting and informative discussion, so pull up a keyboard and let's get this thing started; thank you for all that you do, and... see you all in the discussion threads! 

Response by CMSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 7 at 2014 8:02 PM

CMSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 07 Apr 2014 20:02:34 -0400

Great question! I was not very good at the work-life balance concept for many years. I would leave work after a 10 hour work day, drive home thinking about work, and then get home - and think about work. I've literally woke up in the middle of the night thinking about something that needed done in the office and have actually e-mailed myself at work so that I wouldn't forget to do it. Unfortunately, the stress caught up with me and I had to cautiously "step back" and remember what I was working so hard for: My family. I am obviously very passionate about what I do, and I work very hard, but I've learned to work hard while at work. Now when I am at home, I make sure to spend quality time with my wife and daughter. This is not only to ensure I am being a caring, loving father and husband, but it also allows me to properly "recharge and re-energize." I find that in the end, I am actually even more effective at work. I had no specific technique in making the change, other than putting my mind to it and making the decision to separate the two.

Response by COL Vincent Stoneking made Apr 7 at 2014 9:44 PM

COL Vincent Stoneking — Mon, 07 Apr 2014 21:44:58 -0400

I go to work. I'm still alive. I'm gonna call that a win. <div><br></div><div>Seriously, though.... While I have loved my time in command, I am really looking forward to passing to colors in just under 4 weeks. It has been a second full-time job. I can't wait for my new staff assignment, a mere 746 miles from my house!!!</div><div><br></div><div>Probably my biggest recommendation - remember that person who told you that you had to finish everything you start? Build a time machine, go back, strangle them.  The only thing that kept me sane over the last two years was developing an acceptance that it was ok to drop the less important to focus on the more important. </div>

Response by PO3 Candace Gracik made Apr 7 at 2014 11:17 PM

PO3 Candace Gracik — Mon, 07 Apr 2014 23:17:12 -0400

Work life balance means to me to maintain effectively a transition from your work and home life. When do you turn off your work mode and turn on the family mode. First I make a list of all the titles you have that need your attention on a daily basis. For example Executive Chef, Wife and Mother then try to determine what comes first. Obviously work is a priority to provide for your other responsibilities. Being a working Mother is not easy but I just remind myself that my children support my decision to work and love being able to say "my mommy is a Chef". I try to take time for my kids when work permits like field trips to the museum or aquarium. My father was active an E-9 and the memories I cherish are those moments that he chose to spend the day with me! So that's what I try to do with my kids make moments!! Some times I think being a mother is easier than being a wife because for me I am used to giving orders and having them followed. You can't do that in a marriage it's about compromise, patience and understanding non of which is terribly easy. So I still have an area to work on.

Response by Col Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 14 at 2014 6:51 PM

Col Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 14 Apr 2014 18:51:19 -0400

In order to promote maximum discussion and interaction, here are just a few threads that you'll want to check-out; thank you for all that you do, and... see you all in the discussion threads!

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 14 at 2014 8:48 PM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 14 Apr 2014 20:48:52 -0400

Its always been difficult to have a work-life balance for me. I have put pressure on myself to excel, and that takes perseverance and dedication outside of the 0630-1700 schedule. It means working through lunch, working late, working weekends. <div>I realized how important it was when I became an NCO and held a section sergeant position. I also came to the realization that I needed to appreciate my life more...during my R&R. I realized that I could go back to Afghanistan, and never come back home. I wanted to live my life some and enjoy the life I had built. </div><div><br></div><div>I had to also learn not to feel guilty about going home and turning my brain off. I hop in the car, crank the tunes, and by the time i'm home, i'm in Josh mode again.  As Soldiers, especially NCOs, we are told that being a leader is a 24/7 job. I took that literally, and did not understand how to disconnect when at home, and switch back when I was truly needed. I was in the mindset all the time, and it was exhausting. I though "I cannot do 20+ years of this, at this pace"</div><div><br></div><div>I realized that I needed to be present and engaged with my wife and kids, and I couldn't serve my country and provide for my family while destroying my bond with them all at the same time because I was always jacked in to work. I needed to be able to be Josh and Dad at home, and be SSG Tetreault when the phone rang with an urgent matter. </div><div><br></div><div>CELL PHONES--I learned to stop using my cell phone to handle work after hours unless it was an emergency. This had an unintended effect. It forced other people in my unit to stop being slack with information flow. They had gotten into the habit of being able to send out critical information at 2200 that would be in effect at 0630. There was a few times I missed a meeting or something because I was already asleep, and missed the text.</div><div>They started ensuring info was disseminated by COB unless our of their control. </div><div><br></div><div>After I matured as a leader, I wouldn't allow my guys to work through lunch unless it was a critical task, and that working late rarely yielded any benefits. I told them to avoid getting burned out, to appreciate the benefits of the good job they had. Enjoy life...your next deployment could be your last, and not in the good way.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div>

Response by MSG Wade Huffman made May 19 at 2014 7:38 AM

MSG Wade Huffman — Mon, 19 May 2014 07:38:56 -0400

Not sure how I missed this question when it was originally posted but it is a very good question. This is something I have struggled with my entire adult life and continue to struggle with. I used to be a true 'workaholic' and while I have made great progress in conquering that I think it is a struggle I will continue with until my ultimate retirement.
I no longer bring work home with me, physically, but it seems work is always on my mind.
I think awareness is the key, as long as I am cognoscente, I can maintain a better balance. Baby steps.

Response by Lt Col Private RallyPoint Member made May 19 at 2014 11:24 AM

Lt Col Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 19 May 2014 11:24:25 -0400

It is my belief that finding the "work-life balance" is a myth. No matter what I'm doing, I always feel the "pull" to do something else. The real struggle is being "present" in the moment. I found this blog very helpful: http://www.markmerrill.com/.../be-present-not-balanced-stop-trying-to-live-a-well- balanced-life/.

Be Present, Not Balanced: Stop Trying to Live a Well-Balanced Life

My wife, Susan, traveled to Birmingham a few weeks ago to visit our daughter, Megan. They had a fun girls’ day that included taking a pure barre class, which I have since learned is a ballet-inspired workout designed to build muscles like dancers. And it requires some ability to balance, which is hard to […]

Response by MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca made May 19 at 2014 12:26 PM

MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca — Mon, 19 May 2014 12:26:14 -0400

Unfortunately no. Work life balance to me means a happy balance between time spent working - at work, at home (chores, repairs, etc) and time spent doing what I want to - time with my wife and children, date night, my hobbies and social activities, etc, The job has always been top priority not just because it pays the bills and keeps the roof over our head but because of supervisory demands. The law says a salaried employee can be obligated to work 24/7 (268 hours a week) if demanded too w/o increased pay, benefits or compensation time. My last few jobs have demanded 60-90 hours a week (with your salary "supposedly" based on a 40-45 hour work week) - NOT a good balance. So what's your recourse - quit one job and go to another where they say one thing to get you in the door then demand another once you're there. The "suck" factor in the job world today is running pretty high. I took 2 pay and benefit losses in 3 years to reach a sort-of balance but now the work requirement has yet again gone up. Seems like there is no getting away from it.

Response by SSG Jeffrey Spencer made Jun 5 at 2014 8:23 AM

SSG Jeffrey Spencer — Thu, 05 Jun 2014 08:23:57 -0400

As a leader, I take responsibility to ensure my folks are able to achieve it. Working people to death only creates acrimony and burn-out, which leads to low morale and turnover.

You cannot create more time, so realize that work will always be there another day. Deadlines are a measure, but we cannot constantly meet the shrinking time to complete things. It seems we need to constantly raise the bar, but eventually there is a peak. Few recognize when that happens.

My philosophy is that people's lives are the three-legged stool. Work life, personal life and spiritual life. Keep it in balance.

As my dad told me, "Too soon old. Too late smart."

Response by LCpl Rick Ponton made Jun 6 at 2014 6:25 AM

LCpl Rick Ponton — Fri, 06 Jun 2014 06:25:51 -0400

TAKE TIME TO REJOICE SMILE LAUGH SING DANCE SHOUT SHOUT OUT LOUD SHOUT OUT TO GOD CRY OUT TO JESUS WOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOO OOH RAH!!!!!!! YIPPI

Response by LT Jessica Kellogg made Apr 12 at 2015 9:27 PM

LT Jessica Kellogg — Sun, 12 Apr 2015 21:27:09 -0400

I realize this is an older thread, but RP suggested I post here rather than in a new question.

Work-life balance is something I've been struggling with recently. Work is winning and it's starting to impact my off-work life.
On a day to day scale, I get home with enough time to go to the gym, make dinner, and maybe watch a little tv with my husband. I have several projects which have sat untouched for weeks. I'm only really able to exercise my dog on the weekends. Errands, cleaning and general house upkeep eats up my weekends.
On a larger scale, it seems like there are so many things and events I'm missing out on because of work. It gets discouraging and makes it hard to be happy at work, which is a shame, because I really do like my job. I just wish it wasn't all consuming.
I would love to hear any suggestions you have about how to successfully balance work and life. Thank you.

Response by CPT Bruce Rodgers made Apr 14 at 2015 12:41 PM

CPT Bruce Rodgers — Tue, 14 Apr 2015 12:41:05 -0400

I have finally reached the perfect life-work balance. I retired

Response by 1SG Cameron M. Wesson made Apr 14 at 2015 7:03 PM

1SG Cameron M. Wesson — Tue, 14 Apr 2015 19:03:43 -0400

Yes... Alcohol!

I'm just joking... Yes I have. I maintain a balance of working 40ish hour weeks and I manage to keep work at work... 75% of the time. When I'm on leave... I don't check email often... and if bi get interrupted on leave... I mod my leave slip.

I also chase people, to include my boss, out of the office.

I just need to get back to my lunchtime work out