Have you ever been called something demeaning by a co-worker regarding your service?

LTC Gavin Heater — Sun, 17 May 2015 13:10:56 -0400

Have you ever had a co-worker refer to your service specifically, and call into question your loyalty to the company, your service to the nation or even your patriotism? I had an instance ten years ago where an otherwise mild mannered older female co-worker called me a traitor. I approached her, asked her why, took the steam out of her argument, and explained why this was not the case. We never really got along again. I imagine this was prevalent amongst Vietnam Veterans, but this was the first and last time I experienced it. So...what are your examples?

Response by GySgt Wayne A. Ekblad made May 17 at 2015 1:22 PM

GySgt Wayne A. Ekblad — Sun, 17 May 2015 13:22:58 -0400

I have actually been told that I was too patriotic! On the surface, that probably doesn't sound like it was meant to be demeaning, but it was the manner in which it was said that made it so. Something along the lines that I shouldn't be so naïve as to think that the United States is always right.

Response by SPC Charles Brown made May 17 at 2015 1:31 PM

SPC Charles Brown — Sun, 17 May 2015 13:31:00 -0400

Was told that my military service not worth anything because all I did for 9 years was suck sergeant's. My response, let the fight begin. Fortunately this comment was made at a party and not at work or someplace public. I lost a tooth, broke 3 fingers, and wound up with a black eye. His damage was somewhat worse than mine. Never make a comment about the military service that you won't be able to defend after it is made.

Was I right or wrong doesn't/didn't matter to me. I stand up for my service, my brothers and sisters in arms no matter which service they are in.

Response by MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca made May 17 at 2015 1:35 PM

MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca — Sun, 17 May 2015 13:35:45 -0400

I was called out in a meeting by my "supervisor" (I use the term loosely because he was a complete dickhead) and he told those present that it's a good thing I was deploying at this time (2005) so the company could save money by not having to pay my salary. I just sat there in utter disbelief at what I just heard, trying to come up with a snappy comeback. My eventual response was, "There are some people who defend the flag and some people who wipe their ass with it. I know where I stand. Apparently I now know where you stand!!"

"Oh, you misunderstood what I meant" was his response as he tried to backpedal for the next 5 minutes.

Response by SSG John Jensen made May 17 at 2015 2:25 PM

SSG John Jensen — Sun, 17 May 2015 14:25:27 -0400

you're not a real paratrooper, you're a medic

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made May 17 at 2015 2:28 PM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 17 May 2015 14:28:21 -0400

I have had my loyalty and service questioned by people who should have never done so. Considering that I work for the Army, you would think that sentiment wouldn't exist there, but it does.

Response by Capt Private RallyPoint Member made May 17 at 2015 2:36 PM

Capt Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 17 May 2015 14:36:41 -0400

I was told I shouldn't be paid as much as I was because I already had retired pay from the military. They included my boss who was a retired Army major.

At the time I was a gray area retired Reserve who was waiting to age 60 to draw pay and medical benefits.

I will refrain from repeating my comments to her.

Response by PO1 John Meyer, CPC made May 17 at 2015 4:22 PM

PO1 John Meyer, CPC — Sun, 17 May 2015 16:22:49 -0400

From a Navy Commander...

So you're playing Navy today? In reference to a Navy pride hat I had on with my ribbons on it while working as a Navy contractor at a Naval Air Station.

Nope. I'm retired says I. With a "jerk" comment using my inner voice.

I've not had to deal with the co-worker thing since there are several veterans at my current full time job. The contractor thing is a current part time job I have.

Response by LCpl Mark Lefler made May 17 at 2015 4:25 PM

LCpl Mark Lefler — Sun, 17 May 2015 16:25:22 -0400

co worker told me i wasnt a marine because i wasnt active duty anymore.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made May 17 at 2015 5:22 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Sun, 17 May 2015 17:22:04 -0400

Some people know nothing about us, but yet think they have the God's given right to formulate opinions on a subject they know nothing about. Eventually I will tell them they are no mental giants, and everything they will argue is based on assumptions, not facts. I really feel a lot of empathy for our WIA as they are attacked by all corners to include Active Duty, veterans, and civilians for various reasons.

I have heard it all, veterans telling recent veterans that Vietnam was the real war. A father saying his son never got PTSD so why should anyone else get it? Some will describe a veteran with PTSD as a chronic complainer. Some folks need the STFU!

Response by Sgt David G Duchesneau made May 17 at 2015 6:33 PM

Sgt David G Duchesneau — Sun, 17 May 2015 18:33:23 -0400

Never!

Response by LCDR Private RallyPoint Member made May 17 at 2015 8:22 PM

LCDR Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 17 May 2015 20:22:41 -0400

While I was in college, I had a coworker who thought all men in the military were rapists and murderers. She was a Grade-A Moron.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made May 17 at 2015 8:39 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 17 May 2015 20:39:59 -0400

I can't say that it's happened at my work, and definitely not by people who know me, but if I broaden the strict definition of "co-worker" I can tell you that it has happened here on RallyPoint.

Quick judgements made about surface or made up evidence with little or no knowledge of facts.

The times I can think of were in response to topics that had no connection between what was being discussed and the comment made, and resulted in a significant lowering of my opinion about the intelligence of the individual saying it and my dismissal of pretty much everything else they have to say about anything.

Response by SrA Edward Vong made May 17 at 2015 10:34 PM

SrA Edward Vong — Sun, 17 May 2015 22:34:37 -0400

While I was serving myself and a group of friends were hanging out at a public pool in my friend's apartment complex. There was another party going on. We were playing cards and minding our business when a group of idiots came up to us and started trash talking us. (One of us had an Air Force t-shirt on). Apparently they had Marines in their family and were stating the the Air Force was a worthless branch and we were all a bunch of p*ssies. I personally didn't care because, well I didn't. I started getting ugly and a fistfight started. It didn't end well for either party, as well all got hurt. It wasn't a good night.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made May 18 at 2015 7:43 AM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 18 May 2015 07:43:12 -0400

I was once told my opinion didn't matter because I have not deployed yet, and was told by my former commander that I would never understand.
I don't have enough fingers and toes to count the amount of times I have had to produce my ID to "prove" I was even in the military, let alone a commissioned officer. A friend posted a photo of me on the Facebook page "support tattooed military," it was a side-by-side of me in uniform & me in my civvies. Someone contacted Stolen Valor, who made contact with my CoC, who then verified that I was indeed in the military. It was all rather embarrassing.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made May 18 at 2015 12:23 PM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 18 May 2015 12:23:05 -0400

I get it all the time, it seems. Not just from coworkers, but friends and family.

A lot of my opinions and beliefs aren't shared by a lot of people in this area, and certainly don't seem to fit the preconceptions most people seem to have about soldiers. It's rather often I at least get an inquisitive look, if not outright mockery, when I express opinions that to others seems not to be very patriotic to people that know I served, and I'm proud to have done so.

I even had a buddy in the barracks start a fight with me because he wanted to know why he never saw me at church. "but we're both from the same area of Texas, raised in church, serving our country, speaking with a southern drawl. How could we NOT be exactly the same". Granted, alcohol was involved, but we're best friends, and even he's question my patriotism.

Some people don't understand that not everyone in the military is the same. Some people just WANT to hate everyone in the military. Honestly, as a young man, I had a lot of misconceptions about the government, and felt similarly. The last time I talked to my grandfather about the military, I expressed a dim view, and he seemed rather disappointed. He never got to see me in uniform.

I guess my point is: F*** those people. If they actually discriminate against you, call a lawyer. Otherwise, give them as much respect as they've shown you.

Response by SGT Jeremiah B. made May 18 at 2015 1:07 PM

SGT Jeremiah B. — Mon, 18 May 2015 13:07:49 -0400

Not sure any of the options work. I've had it all questioned because my political opinions aren't lock-step with the far Right. I can shut down a civilian pretty quick on that one but other veterans are a little more difficult. I usually just walk away at that point. I don't have time to wallow in someone else's bitterness.

Response by LTC Gavin Heater made May 18 at 2015 1:09 PM

LTC Gavin Heater — Mon, 18 May 2015 13:09:43 -0400

I was surprised when this older employee displayed so much vitriol. I can only attest it to something in their history and not mine.

Response by CW3 Kevin Storm made Aug 15 at 2015 6:37 PM

CW3 Kevin Storm — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 18:37:01 -0400

Actually for me it was a LTC's wife at the PX, she asked me if I was old enough to be a Sergeant. I was polite, but in the back of my head all I kept thinking was funny you look old enough to be a four stars wife.

Response by LTC Jason Mackay made Feb 13 at 2022 11:11 PM

LTC Jason Mackay — Sun, 13 Feb 2022 23:11:55 -0500

Not openly. There was a vibe at one place I worked that they were gun shy about hiring disabled vets….because, you know, we were all over there and a little <gesture indicating crazy>, oblivious to my service record apparently.

I had public engagements in a a couple assignments post 9/11. Some were patriotic with a backhanded condescension. Like they felt sorry for us, hapless victims of an unfair system and irretrievably broken. Dunno about you all but I am no victim. If you don’t have the stones to stand the line, say thank you and let some who does take over.