Have you ever been coerced, manipulated, stalked or intimidated on the job by a higher rank with a personality disorder?

2015-04-28T13:50:00-04:00

Sometimes you experience that one leader who clearly isn't right in the head. They don't necessarily sexually assault you , but they use their rank to inappropriately harrass you. It starts out friendly, until you trust them at some level. Then they use that trust to coerce you , intimidate you and pressure you to do unethical things. They have a narcissistic personality disorder and they need you to meet that need. They try to control you or control teams or task groups when it isn't their role. In short, they are divisive and they are morale killers. They try to control you to your face , behind your back, or even telephonically. As a result, you start to hate your job.

Does this experience sound familiar to anyone else but me? How did you eventually deal with it? This toxic leadership?

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Apr 28 at 2015 1:55 PM

2015-04-28T13:55:30-04:00

I hate toxic leadership. I had a superior say she demands the unit uses dignity and respect every day. The witch was a hypocrite as she yelled at folks. I heard after I left, the unit dreaded work.

Response by MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca made Apr 28 at 2015 3:00 PM

2015-04-28T15:00:42-04:00

Does my wife count? :-)

Response by CPT Pedro Meza made Apr 28 at 2015 3:04 PM

2015-04-28T15:04:22-04:00

In 1982, I had a higher rank female tell me that I was showing too much chest hair and that I had to trim it so that it did not passed my T-shirt neck line. I was glad when she left the unit, cause it was un-comfortable shaving my chest neck line. The chest hair just wanted to be free. Now I am proud of my gray chest hair, that has survived wars.

Response by CMSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 28 at 2015 3:54 PM

2015-04-28T15:54:42-04:00

Yes. She was female. ((Shocking, I know. Lol)) She loathed the very breath that permeated my body.

BUT, my experience with her brings me full circle to the success of my career. I wouldn't wish that time of my career on anyone, but it certainly made me the leader that I am today.

In a skewed way, I owe my upcoming Chief stripe to her. ((**cough**wench**cough**))
:)

Response by SGT Kevin Gardner made Apr 28 at 2015 4:07 PM

2015-04-28T16:07:22-04:00

Yup, I think we all have, the one person I remember the most was my platoon sergeant, he went out of his way from the day I got to the unit to make sur I never saw a promotion board. The treatment even manifested it into how the section sergeants would treat me as well.

I found out later the reason why he hated me was because I was from Montana and he thought I was a racest. The man had problems I can say that much.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made May 20 at 2017 2:47 AM

2017-05-20T02:47:44-04:00

Ok wait! What are you trying to say?!... for some of us that was our job!.. hahahahaha....

Response by SGT Louise Hawthorne made May 15 at 2018 11:41 PM

2018-05-15T23:41:19-04:00

While in service, i went through Hell. I wasn't alone. There was no one to tell and no where to go because we were in combat. Some were assaulted, I managed not to be assaulted by him.

We thanked GOD when we returned to CONUS.

Response by SSgt Rilene Ann made Aug 5 at 2020 5:58 PM

2020-08-05T17:58:14-04:00

Left USAF

Response by SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 6 at 2020 9:40 AM

2020-08-06T09:40:28-04:00

I had a situation during my last year of Active Duty. My company had gone through two 1SGs due to normal attrition (PCS, reassignments, etc.). They finally pulled a MSG from S-3 and pinned a diamond on him.

Prior to being pinned 1SG, this guy already thought he was something special, as he would come into the S-1 Shop on a daily basis to demand that his Master Aviation badge be processed. I (the shop NCOIC) and my senior SGT would explain to him that badges were approved at Brigade, and we had no "pull" over there. He said that VIPs get priority processing, right? We said yes, and then he claimed that as a MSG, he was a VIP and that he demanded that same treatment. We told him to take it up with the BDE Commander.

Now, once he was 1SG, his relentless harassment on me personally began. During morning PT, if one of my Soldiers wan't performing PRT movements exactly as prescribed, he would chew my ass because I didn't immediately correct the Soldier. I told him that being in the rear of the formation, I couldn't see what every Soldier was doing.

I had a female Soldier who would push the bounds of cosmetics, and the 1SG would routinely ask why I hadn't written-up this Soldier for violating 670-1 due to having fake eyelashes. I told him that there was never occasion for me to get that close to this female where I could examine her eyelashes. My wife didn't and doesn't wear make-up or any false eyelashes, so I have no idea what fake ones look like.

Another female Soldier had just given birth and was in the on-post hospital. During Hurricane Matthew, he said that all Soldiers had to be verbally contacted every 8 hours during the hurricane. Reasonable, right? Well, he would call me at least four times per day, asking about Soldier accountability and if I had contacted the female Soldier in the hospital every 8 hours. I told him that she is in the safest place possible, surrounded by doctors. He insisted that I call her every 8 hours. Finally I just would call her once per day and call it good. Even my wife said that he was harassing me by calling so much.

During a JRTC rotation, I and my entire section were "accidentally" left in the field (aka "the box") for three hours after everyone had gone back to the rear area. When we finally got back, the 1SG asked for accountability for the whole company. I told him that I had just gotten back after having been left in the field, and that I had no idea who was where at that time. He said that as the S-1 NCOIC, I wasn't doing my job properly. Come to find out, he had already dispatched several groups of Soldiers to various details around the AO, and even if I had been back the whole time, there was no way I could have known who and how many he sent where.

I had one small victory while administering a UA. As the Company UPL, I was in charge of the UA and could not leave until everyone had tested. That same day, the BN was giving Flu shots. Everyone was supposed to filter through the motorpool to get a flu shot. The BN CSM came by the UA area to monitor progress. The 1SG then walked in and asked when I was going to get my flu shot. I told him that I had to stay until everyone had tested, and asked how long the BN medics were going to be doing the flu shots. He snarled "I put it out in the E-Mail. Why don't you check it out?" At that point, the CSM was standing right next to me. Without even thinking, I turned to the CSM and said "This is what I put up with every day, Sergeant-Major." The CSM turned to the 1SG and said "Why don't you just tell him what he needs to know?"

When I noticed that I had lost 9 pounds in one month due to stress, I decided that enough was enough. I talked to the BN Chaplain and explained everything going on. He was very helpful, and asked if the person in question was the company 1SG. I said it was. He said that I wasn't the only one to experience this at his hands. He asked if I wanted him to talk to the CSM about it. I said, "please do." A couple days later, during the course of normal S-1 business, I stopped by the CSM's office and talked to him about the 1SG as well. He said that he would look into it and talk to the 1SG.

During my outprocessing, one of my friends had said that the 1SG had come down on orders to Alaska. He also said that he was in the hallway at BDE when one of the BDE Legal JAG Officers called the 1SG into his office to "talk about his Relief For Cause." Whether that was true or not, I don't know. That 1SG was one major reason why I left Active Duty. As tough as I thought I was, daily harassment for almost a year took its toll. For anyone else going through anything similar, don't wait until your health is impacted; go talk to someone who can help as soon as you can!

Response by MSG Felipe De Leon Brown made Aug 6 at 2020 11:25 AM

2020-08-06T11:25:38-04:00

I think that the majority of the veterans whom I have known have experienced at least one individual in their chain of command who suffered from a personality disorder that negatively influenced the way that they interacted with subordinates. Was it a mistaken perception of one's level of moral courage that led to the negative behavior on the superior's part? Was it something that one said or did that provoked the coercion?
Often times, the victim of the abuse tolerates the mistreatment because they don't want to make the situation worse. In every case, one has to ask oneself is it worth it. Does one want to fight this or that battle?
The military has come a long way from the days when individuals could abuse their subordinates with impunity. We soldiers, sailors and so forth are a reflection of the communities in which we grow up in. Most of the individuals who abuse their authority have emotional issues that they are unable to deal with. They often have an erroneous perception of themselves or deep-seated insecurity. Thus, they will seek every opportunity to mistreat others.
Hopefully, the injustice will be a thing of the past.

Response by SPC John Ferguson made Aug 6 at 2020 12:01 PM

2020-08-06T12:01:42-04:00

Separated. Could not deal with those E-5 burnouts that had been in for 15 years who wanted to ensure the incoming service members didn't surpass them.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Feb 21 at 2021 10:33 PM

2021-02-21T22:33:44-05:00

I had a boss that was caustic. I was working on a big project and was going to show the big boss the progress. I showed her what I had produced thus far. She took 2 minutes to copy and paste shit in a file which I had to show the big boss. I got blamed but I did not rat on her. I took the bullet.