How can I help a Vietnam veteran in-law who has PTSD?

Joanne Maresca — Fri, 30 Jun 2017 16:56:17 -0400

My father-in-law was a Green Beret in Vietnam. (He did demolitions in the Central Highlands.) He came back home with PTSD which still affects him today. He constantly looks at photos that he took during the war. He is not in the best health and keeps talking about the past. My husband is the only family member who speaks with him. I do not deny what happened but want to help. Any advice?

Response by Cpl Armando Mireles made Jun 30 at 2017 5:24 PM

Cpl Armando Mireles — Fri, 30 Jun 2017 17:24:15 -0400

Sometimes just listening helps. Look over his photos since they seem to be a big part of his Nam experience.

Response by PO2 Peter Klein made Jun 30 at 2017 9:35 PM

PO2 Peter Klein — Fri, 30 Jun 2017 21:35:07 -0400

Does he live close to a VA health center? Try them.

Response by PO3 Jerry Webb made Jul 1 at 2017 7:28 PM

PO3 Jerry Webb — Sat, 01 Jul 2017 19:28:06 -0400

Just be there and listen; another good remedy is acceptance. Myself I live in what my friends refer to as a bunker mentality; I do not like to go out; don't really socialize; hate crowds; tend to prefer my own company. I know that this is not a 'healthy' attitude; but it's the way I feel most comfortable; my psychiatrist at the VA did have what I've found to be an outlet online video gaming; you get to 'chat' with people and still remain anonymous; and they can't really get 'close' to you; still in a great many ways they become friends.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 2 at 2017 5:44 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 02 Jul 2017 17:44:01 -0400

Not trying to sound callous, but does your Father-In-Law want help? I ask this because I have seen many a time where help offered/given was not beneficial because help was not wanted.

Response by SFC Hal Jeauxdevine, BSM w/"V", MSM, PH, Arcom w/“V” made Jul 3 at 2017 12:12 PM

SFC Hal Jeauxdevine, BSM w/"V", MSM, PH, Arcom w/“V” — Mon, 03 Jul 2017 12:12:19 -0400

As someone who is 100% disabled from PTSD, I am compensated through the VA and provided many types of weekly aid and a VA paid Care-giver. IF he wants help, then pursuing proper compensation at the VA. Recently, more and more Vietnam Veterans are being recognized with PTSD and compensated on a case by case basis. But there is a maze of testing and paperwork required. He, like the few who did jobs like that, find it very hard to find others who truly understand what horrendous things he did for our country. But the best place to find others like him that understand him and can share experiences with are at VA hospitals. Good luck and God bless you for trying.

Response by LtCol Robert Quinter made Jul 3 at 2017 10:17 PM

LtCol Robert Quinter — Mon, 03 Jul 2017 22:17:14 -0400

Are you sure he needs help Joanne? The fact is, as a contemporary of mine, your father-in-law may be going through period of reflection. I'm constantly reminded of my age, and realistically, the fact that I grow closer to meeting my creator each day. Even five years ago there were so many things I could do and enjoy that I must now carefully consider before I attempt. Simple things like taking my grandchildren to a fair or carnival, I have to consider whether I should attempt it. Looking back on the war, I was at my prime and in the intervening years I have accomplished much and could be considered a success. Now my wife and children dote over me as though one false move and it's curtains. Getting older, and having all your sins and exposures to every malady producing situation you can imagine is sobering. Reading of the deaths of your comrades you fought, played and lived life to the fullest with causes any man to start thinking thoughts that never entered your mind "back in the day". I would recommend treating him as a man, not an invalid, listening to his reminiscences. look at the pictures, all the time trying to involve him in the present and promises of the future. Older people aren't always crazy, but sometimes it's hard to accept what you need to leave behind and you need a little nudge into the future by someone who can see your value.

Response by PVT Raymond Lopez made Sep 1 at 2017 10:20 AM

PVT Raymond Lopez — Fri, 01 Sep 2017 10:20:30 -0400

Get him a service dog it helped me and the dog both.

Response by MSG John Duchesneau made Jul 6 at 2020 1:08 AM

MSG John Duchesneau — Mon, 06 Jul 2020 01:08:58 -0400

Try to find another Vietnam Veteran with a similar background to his that he can talk to. Withdrawn Veterans are unlikely to speak about their experiences with non-Veterans.