How did everyone find their mentor? Are SNCOs against mentoring members they don't personally know?

SSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 07 Feb 2019 07:08:56 -0500

How did everyone find a mentor? I know I need one, particularly right now as I'm in need for some guidance about a few things happening both personally and professionally. I know several SNCO's, but none that I'm totally comfortable reaching out to. To be completely honest, I just don't want to feel like a bother and the individuals I know already have a ton going on. I arrived on station here in October, so I'm still trying to network here. Is it appropriate to reach out to a senior member I don't personally know or should I try to stay within my group?

Response by LTC Stephan Porter made Feb 7 at 2019 7:12 AM

LTC Stephan Porter — Thu, 07 Feb 2019 07:12:15 -0500

I have found most of my mentors by asking them, one way or another, to be (if even for a onetime session! There are a few key one that reached out to me and became long term mentors!

Response by Lt Col Charlie Brown made Feb 7 at 2019 7:18 AM

Lt Col Charlie Brown — Thu, 07 Feb 2019 07:18:24 -0500

Find someone you can trust and reach out. Most people are honored to be asked to mentor. You can also ask your chaplain if he or she has any suggestions. When I was a Company Grade officer, we had a group with an adviser and perhaps that's something that exists on your base for mid-level NCOs; ask around.

Response by LTC Kevin B. made Feb 7 at 2019 7:37 AM

LTC Kevin B. — Thu, 07 Feb 2019 07:37:15 -0500

I have directly known every mentor I have ever had. That seems to be the best way to facilitate a mentoring relationship. With that being said, I'm sure some NCOs would be willing to take on that kind of a relationship with a promising individual who wants to be mentored. I would recommend trying to network here, because that's one of the desired goals of RP. Best wishes to you.

Response by SGT Felicia King made Feb 7 at 2019 8:01 AM

SGT Felicia King — Thu, 07 Feb 2019 08:01:41 -0500

My mentor was at my first duty station, the chief warrant officer. I was assigned to her as the stock control clerk. She taught me everything military and work related, very funny and many times would cuss out a NCO that didn’t follow what I said simply because I was a private, but she never let me beat her in the run. I always came in right behind her within ten seconds because she got a burst of energy when she knew I was near about the pass her.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 7 at 2019 8:58 AM

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 07 Feb 2019 08:58:03 -0500

Could you talk to your base or wing command chief master Sgt? Usually they have some sort of open door policy and this sort of thing would be in their purview.

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 7 at 2019 9:14 AM

MSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 07 Feb 2019 09:14:10 -0500

Any mentorship I have received was in a kind of drive-by situation. I would go to the office of someone I respected and just ask a question or unload an issue. They will more often than not offer advice or tell you their experience in the matter. Anything specific you are after?

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 7 at 2019 9:27 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 07 Feb 2019 09:27:29 -0500

Ask questions! SSgt Private RallyPoint Member

The leaders who will mentor you will shoe care and concern. Some may seek you out. In my experience, my mentors showed themselves and only rarely have I needed to ask them directly to be my mentors. It kind of has gone unsaid but understood and the relationship develops from there.

While your leaders may have things going on, it comes with the territory and those who have become my mentors have an intrinsic understanding that their plate is never too full to help another leader develop. In that sense, they paid it forward and I have mirrored their approach. I see someone looking for answers and I do my best to be able to have the answers or learn it with those who come to me for guidance. Leaders are a resource and mentorship is a tool to assist the improvement of our profession.

If you do need to ask someone directly, do so, and be humble. This allows for open and honest feedback. Just as any relationship requires truthful, healthy communication, a mentor and mentee’s relationship is no different.

Hope you find what you’re looking for. RP has plenty of leaders willing to assist or at least serve as a sounding board.

Response by Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS made Feb 7 at 2019 9:32 AM

Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS — Thu, 07 Feb 2019 09:32:52 -0500

The USMC "formalizes" the mentor program. The inherent assumption is that our first line supervisor is our primary mentor. This means we don't have to go looking for one.

That said, Tai Lopez put out a Tedx Talk several years ago
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7bB_fVDlvhc
It talks about the need to divide your time between those below you (professionally) aka Mentees, Peers, and those above you (professionally) aka Mentors. I'd suggest watching it.

Something you can do is leverage the people you ALREADY know to get introductions to people you would like to be mentored by. I'm assuming you've got a TSgt or MSgt running around that can intro you to their peers (I always liked the ride along method). Alternatively, you find juniors and start mentoring them (pay it forward) and maybe you'll end up with one of their SNCOs as a mentor for yourself as an ad hoc exchange program. But don't forget your peer network, as one of your fellow SSgt's may intro you to their leadership.

Why I read a book a day (and why you should too): the law of 33% | Tai Lopez | TEDxUBIWiltz

This talk was given at a local TEDx event, produced independently of the TED Conferences. In this talk, Tai Lopez reminds us that everyone wants the good lif...

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 7 at 2019 9:45 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 07 Feb 2019 09:45:49 -0500

For me, I would not be against mentoring someone I don’t know personally. If someone were to reach out to me on RallyPoint I would help them the best that I could... why? Because the next generation of Leaders are getting ready to take over and they need to know how to get where I am. If I leave the Army and never share any of my knowledge, how am I helping the next Leader after me succeed? I think there are many people who may feel you are trying to take their job. Good, you should be trying to take my job because I’m not staying around forever (and no matter the service, we all know those people who stay forever). So if you need help don’t be afraid to reach out to individuals. If they don’t want to help you then move to someone else who is a good fit for you

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 7 at 2019 10:15 AM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 07 Feb 2019 10:15:11 -0500

I have seen mentors that are not senior ncos. With peer mentor ship you can get in with someone you trust who may have the right answers for you.

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 7 at 2019 10:22 AM

SSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 07 Feb 2019 10:22:18 -0500

Something I struggled with, and still do to a point. When I was in there was not much emphasis on leadership development other than what you did on your own. I was fortunate to have several people in my unit guide me with suggestions over the 13 years I was in. I've been in the civilian world 100% for 22+ years now and it is even tougher to find the right mentors here. Most have come from relationships while a couple have come from asking someone I barely knew.

I now help coach, act as a sounding board to a small handful of people. Here is the first suggestion I always start off with: find someone who is where you want to be! i.e.: If you want to be good at tennis, don't ask your folks to train you in tennis, ask a professional. If you have marriage problems don't seek a counselor that has been divorced.

I am always willing to be a sounding board in the areas I know and have experience. I won't, for instance, have ideas for how to attain the next rank in the USAF or how to move laterally as I don't know the USAF inner workings.

Last note: never, ever "feel like a bother". A leader does not resent being asked even the most basic questions. And a leader will let you know if s/he can help or not. Lastly, it will take some time to build a relationship of trust. Feel free to DM me if you wish. I may, or may not, have answers. My wife also has a woman's point of view on a lot of areas as well.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 7 at 2019 10:45 AM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 07 Feb 2019 10:45:02 -0500

To be honest, SNOs should always have their door open to mentor Soldiers. If you want, please DM me and let me know what is going on and I will give you an honest answer and the best possible guidance I am able to provide. I understand you are with the Air Force but we are all service members and brothers and sisters. It is incumbent of us to provide mentorship and advice when the situation calls for it no matter what branch we serve.

Response by CSM Richard StCyr made Feb 7 at 2019 10:55 AM

CSM Richard StCyr — Thu, 07 Feb 2019 10:55:57 -0500

I've had several mentors through the years at different stages in my career. In each case they were someone who I felt comfortable asking questions and they were comfortable with giving advice or in a couple cases they just kept sending me on difficult and challenging missions building my experience level and the opportunity to shine or wallow in mud.

There are several Soldiers who have picked me to be a mentor and the relationships have lasted through the service and into the civilian sector, a couple well over 20 years. They are more like extended family than friends or associates.

I laugh when folks talk about mentorship programs, and my response used to be to point at the door and say "it's always open and I'm always available, and that's my program". I used to tell the Soldiers that I was always available to talk about how they could be better Soldiers and what they needed to do to advance in the service, no appointments needed just ask me at training or in the motor pool or swing by during open door hours.
If they wanted to complain about the unit, leaders or other adverse stuff go through the NCO support channel, give them a chance to unfuck themselves, then see me. That put leaders at ease about their troops talking to the 1SG or CSM, reduced barriers, and gained trust, because they knew sniveling wouldn't be entertained until they had an opportunity to self correct.

Long post but context sometimes helps. Bottom line, find someone you respect, that is a subject matter expert at what you want to do and ask them questions on how to achieve your goals.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 7 at 2019 11:52 AM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 07 Feb 2019 11:52:57 -0500

I worked with mine for years. I followed his example and excelled at life through his example

Response by SFC David Bentley made Feb 7 at 2019 12:20 PM

SFC David Bentley — Thu, 07 Feb 2019 12:20:16 -0500

For you as a female the challenge is exasperated by the #metoo movement. Senior NCOs that would like to mentor a female are hesitant because they don’t want to put themselves in a bad situation. And there are way too many that use the military as a dating pool. Find someone in your career field that you respect and approach them about goals and where you want to be and how to get there.

Response by CSM Darieus ZaGara made Feb 7 at 2019 12:58 PM

CSM Darieus ZaGara — Thu, 07 Feb 2019 12:58:13 -0500

I would assume that every member is a willing mentor. Look for profiles that you believe portrays the ability to understand your goals and objectives when it comes to mentoring. Frankly, asking more than one is not outside of the scope of what is normal. Good luck and thank you for your service.

Response by MSG Frank Kapaun made Feb 7 at 2019 2:27 PM

MSG Frank Kapaun — Thu, 07 Feb 2019 14:27:00 -0500

My “mentor” was 10 years older than I and a ‘Nam vet. We were on the same A Team and we found each other over beer. He is still a friend to this day.

Response by CSM Michael Chavaree made Feb 7 at 2019 3:31 PM

CSM Michael Chavaree — Thu, 07 Feb 2019 15:31:15 -0500

I just moved into a position with several folks that may be able to help you out. How can we help?

Response by LTC Jason Mackay made Feb 7 at 2019 6:14 PM

LTC Jason Mackay — Thu, 07 Feb 2019 18:14:47 -0500

Every mentor and mentee relationship I've had has always been through in person experience built over time. It's not like Twitter or Amazon.

Mentorship is part of the job.

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 8 at 2019 1:56 AM

SSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 08 Feb 2019 01:56:41 -0500

Thank you for all the great advice!!

Response by GySgt Kenneth Pepper made Feb 8 at 2019 10:44 AM

GySgt Kenneth Pepper — Fri, 08 Feb 2019 10:44:22 -0500

I was in a command that had a mandatory mentorship program with checklists and targets. As you can imagine it became a "check in the box" program as SNCOs were assigned to become mentors rather than simply encouraging and allowing it to happen.
In my experience most successful mentoring relationships begin with you finding someone whose leadership style is in tune with your personality. Sometimes it is better if they are not in your direct chain of command so you can use them as a sounding board.
Its almost like looking for a soulmate...the minute you stop looking they walk right in. Don't force it. Until then keep your eyes and ears open. Observe the behavior of your Officers and SNCOs and emulate those worthy of it.
The fact that you are seeking out leadership is a very good sign of your potential. Good luck.

Response by SFC Scott Higgins made Feb 8 at 2019 1:41 PM

SFC Scott Higgins — Fri, 08 Feb 2019 13:41:25 -0500

As SFC Zach K. stated, Some people aren't meant to be either leaders or mentors. Finding a mentor, isn't always easy. The issue I believe is number one is they must be a person you respect. You should be able to trust in their judgment and discretion. Also, don't let a negative response to an idea you have turn you off to their advice. No one agrees 100% of the time on every situation. I was fortunate to have an extremely good mentor when I was a junior enlisted. He showed me what a true Non-commissioned officer should be, know and do. Find someone you respect.

Response by SGM (R) Antonio Brown made Feb 10 at 2019 5:49 AM

SGM (R) Antonio Brown — Sun, 10 Feb 2019 05:49:17 -0500

My mentors found me. I have had leaders in and out of units in which I was assigned who took an interest in me and began to coach, teach, and mentor me. The MOSs and ranks varied. I have had Soldiers to ask me to be a mentor and I have sought out Soldier to mentor and MOS was irrelevant. Some leaders may cringe because what is coming next. I have linked up Soldiers with other leaders because I felt that I was not the correct mentor for that particular individual. I made sure to explain that the individual was best suited to mentor them than I was and I wanted them to have the best.

Response by SrA Aaron Zeiger made Feb 17 at 2019 5:54 PM

SrA Aaron Zeiger — Sun, 17 Feb 2019 17:54:01 -0500

They can't help if you don't bring it to their attention. Request a meeting and feel them out. A lot of SNCOs love giving advice from their own experiences. You'll know when you find the right one.