How did you reconnect with your family and friends after coming home from deployments and/or leaving the service?

SGT Joseph Gunderson — Sun, 07 Jan 2018 13:37:45 -0500

Everyone goes through their own cycle after returning from deployment(s) or after leaving the service. We must relearn our place in the family home, slowly begin to insert ourselves back into the daily workings of our families, and all the while we must attempt to also process the experiences that we have had. What did you do that you found was beneficial in you efforts to reconnect to your family and friends after either returning from a deployment or after going home after separation from the military?

Response by SGM Bill Frazer made Jan 7 at 2018 1:43 PM

SGM Bill Frazer — Sun, 07 Jan 2018 13:43:05 -0500

You have to realize, that MOM was the head of Household while you were gone, you need to SLOWLY EASE back into their lives and retinues. See what she changed and why, before you charge in guns blazing. Be ready for kids to go to MOM fro permission and not you. Work slowly and carefully on money issues and purchases. Fix up the house, work on the honey doo chores and realize, standing time with all, before you try to take the helm again.

Response by SMSgt Lawrence McCarter made Jan 7 at 2018 1:49 PM

SMSgt Lawrence McCarter — Sun, 07 Jan 2018 13:49:25 -0500

That was easy enough, just came home and it was great to see everybody again. Home was where I grew up anyway, most the kids I grew up even after coming back from the service returned. Its a nice town and most the guys I went to High school with entered the Armed Forces any many were member of the Legion and AMVETS post in town. It wasn't an effort and My family included many veterans and besides We were never out of touch. It was like I never left and in many ways I hadn't. The town I lived in was always pro Veteran and no attitudes to the contrary were there anyway. Within one week of returning home I was also working on a civilian Police Dept. I had nothing to relearn, it was easy coming home. My Dad was also a WWII Veteran of the US Navy and served through the Korean War as well. My Uncle across the street was Army during the Korean War and the Cuban missile crisis.

Response by SPC Robert Coventry made Jan 7 at 2018 2:50 PM

SPC Robert Coventry — Sun, 07 Jan 2018 14:50:26 -0500

They are recruiting young

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 7 at 2018 5:02 PM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 07 Jan 2018 17:02:53 -0500

SGT Joseph Gunderson -

I simply want to applaud your opening comment, specifically:

"We must relearn our place in the family home, slowly begin to insert ourselves back into the daily workings of our families, and all the while we must attempt to also process the experiences that we have had."

You've nailed it IMV. While deployed, one's family moves on and adjusts ... it does not (nor should it) mark time. The spouse takes on an increased responsibility and role ... and the kids have new rules and responsibilities. The returning spouse can "heavy foot" back into the middle of that or ... as you suggest, ease back into the flow. It is inevitable that there will be some friction as the one spouse relinquishes the other's role in the family back to the returnee. IMV, two things are key - a united front with the kids ... and private and open communications between the spouses. For a bit, the returned spouse might want to respond to the children's requests for something with a "what was your mother's (father's) rule while I was gone?" Problematic areas should be discussed privately between the spouses ... so that the children don't see a chink in the parental armor.

Response by SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth made Jan 8 at 2018 6:54 AM

SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth — Mon, 08 Jan 2018 06:54:10 -0500

When I came back from A T each year we went out for supper, and I answered the many questions my on always had.