How do you address enlisted personnel respectfully?

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 20 Apr 2015 14:35:51 -0400

I have addressed enlisted personnel with "sir or ma'am" and have been corrected with responses such as "I am not a sir... I work for a living" etc. Seems a little passively hostile at times. How would you address someone whom you have established a relationship with but still want to show respect and maintain professionalism? Just by Rank and last name?

Response by Cpl Jeff N. made Apr 20 at 2015 2:41 PM

Cpl Jeff N. — Mon, 20 Apr 2015 14:41:39 -0400

Enlisted folks don't want to be called sir or ma'am. We don't call each other that, no need for you to call us that. If you had called me sir I would have corrected you and said you need only call me Corporal Neely, no sir required.

The answer to your question is call them by rank and last name. At least that is what I would expect.

Response by SSG Steven Borders made Apr 20 at 2015 2:44 PM

SSG Steven Borders — Mon, 20 Apr 2015 14:44:20 -0400

CPT Private RallyPoint Member Ma'am. I would say the correct way to address enlisted is Rank and Last name. I know you are trying to show respect and anyone should not be offended when being called sir or ma'am. I just think some SM's are used to being presented as SFC So and So or PV2 Fluffybunny etc... and it is a tradition to be called by Rank and Last name.

Just my thoughts though.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 20 at 2015 3:16 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 20 Apr 2015 15:16:52 -0400

Rank and last name.
Funny story though. When I joined everyone was sir or ma'am. I was raised by my grandmother, and had a fun time trying to "respect" elders. I would get nervous and say sir or ma'am.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 20 at 2015 3:20 PM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 20 Apr 2015 15:20:24 -0400

Their rank. They've earned it.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 20 at 2015 3:49 PM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 20 Apr 2015 15:49:46 -0400

Thank you for sharing everyone! This butter bar is still trying to figure things out :)

Response by SrA Edward Vong made Apr 20 at 2015 3:51 PM

SrA Edward Vong — Mon, 20 Apr 2015 15:51:47 -0400

Rank and last name, or just simply last name would probably be the best way to go. I personally don't get offended if someone calls me sir, I believe sir is a sign of respect for enlisted and for officers.

Response by Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS made Apr 20 at 2015 3:52 PM

Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS — Mon, 20 Apr 2015 15:52:42 -0400

Rank & Last name is always appropriate. Enlisted tend to maintain more of a "professional" than a "peer" relationship, just because we get promoted more often (and "randomly") than officers.

Sir/Ma'am is generally reserved for officers, though I've been know to respond with it if I don't know who I'm talking to as it's "safe."

Call Signs, and Last Name only happens among peers, but we try to keep it "private" or away from subordinates.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 20 at 2015 4:00 PM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 20 Apr 2015 16:00:59 -0400

I wouldn't use the "Sir/Ma'am" as you know it is a bit offensive. Using their Rank and name is appropriate. Enlisted don't like being confused for an officer. Whatever you please don't call them "High Speed."

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Apr 20 at 2015 4:18 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Mon, 20 Apr 2015 16:18:47 -0400

I have never called SGT-SFC anything but SGT NAME. For 1SG and SGM, I used their specific rank and their name. Another poster alluded that the unit will know if your respect them. It will carry out in your actions and what you say.

Response by LTC J. Lee Mudd made Apr 20 at 2015 4:23 PM

LTC J. Lee Mudd — Mon, 20 Apr 2015 16:23:40 -0400

Table 1-1 and paragraph 1-6 of AR 600-20 (Army Command Policy) holds the secret answer to your question, 2LT Karolina Przegienda!
Enlisted ranks and correct forms of address-
SMA, CSM and SGM: 'Sergeant Major'
1SG: 'First Sergeant'
MSG, SFC, SSG, and SGT: 'Sergeant'
CPL: 'Corporal'
SPC: 'Specialist'
PFC, PV2,and PV1: 'Private'

There are, of course, various informal means of address; as a cadet, our SGM explained that addressing junior enlisted (PV1-SPC) by last name was quite appropriate, and is a practice I continue with Soldiers I know and work with. Likewise, addressing Warrant Officers (CW2 and up) as 'Chief' is an informal tradition.

I still don't know where the current practice of addressing MSGs as 'Master Sergeant' started...

Response by SGT Richard H. made Apr 20 at 2015 4:29 PM

SGT Richard H. — Mon, 20 Apr 2015 16:29:57 -0400

"I'm not a Sir, I work for a living" is actually a movie line that has been quoted in this way since "Stripes" first hit the theaters. I think it's more a matter of them trying to be funny than hostile. Just my opinion.

With that being said, you really can't go wrong with Rank & last name.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 20 at 2015 4:31 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 20 Apr 2015 16:31:30 -0400

Just rank is the best way to go. Nco's have earned their title and don't want to be called sir/ma'am the same as an officer doesn't want to be called sergeant major. It's not about who outranks who, it's courtesy. Most of my old LTs still refer to me as sergeant in a formal situation and nickname in less formal situations.

Response by BG David Fleming III made Apr 20 at 2015 4:36 PM

BG David Fleming III — Mon, 20 Apr 2015 16:36:51 -0400

I address them by their rank and last name at all times. If discipline is in order one day, you'll be glad you kept that way! Never show favoritism, if you do it for one, you need to do it for all!

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 20 at 2015 4:42 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 20 Apr 2015 16:42:03 -0400

Ma'am, by name for lower enlisted is fine. For NCOs rank and name.

Response by PO2 Kristal Cerutti-Harden made Apr 20 at 2015 4:44 PM

PO2 Kristal Cerutti-Harden — Mon, 20 Apr 2015 16:44:56 -0400

I personally think that if you get to know something about each one of your junior sailors it will go to show them that you respect and actually care about them and arent just making small talk. When i first got into the fleet i had a chief, now warrent, tell me everytime i saw someone down the hallway to say hello and be polite. Also, if i ever was around an officer to strike up a rapport with them and learn something new about them. Eventually, that earned their respect for me and vice versa. I prefer getting called by my last name only but rank and last name also works. I personally think that if you go around and just talk to the junior enlisted, learn something about them. It'll go a long way for the showing/earning respect.

Response by SrA Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 20 at 2015 5:44 PM

SrA Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 20 Apr 2015 17:44:24 -0400

It depends on the situation Ma'am. I have had officers that i have built a bond with the called me by last name only, as well as some that just call you by your rank when talking to you to those that use both name and rank.

Response by SPC Elijah J. Henry, MBA made Apr 20 at 2015 8:20 PM

SPC Elijah J. Henry, MBA — Mon, 20 Apr 2015 20:20:03 -0400

CPT Private RallyPoint Member, I would be very uncomfortable being addressed as 'Sir' by an officer. Just rank and name, or just rank if you want to be a little bit more detached, or maybe 'Airborne,' if you'd like. ;)

Response by SPC Angel Guma made Apr 20 at 2015 8:28 PM

SPC Angel Guma — Mon, 20 Apr 2015 20:28:15 -0400

Ma'am-

Just rank and last name. If they are too far away to see the same, but maybe you can make out the rank, 'Sgt' would be fine. Always remember to return a salute, even if you don't like that soldier.

And your observation is correct. Enlisted personnel can be vicious to officers this way, especially young officers that may not know any better. Make sure your CO is on your side, but if NCO's or junior enlisted treat you this way, it can't be tolerated one bit. Many officers were once enlisted, so this whole thing about officers not working for a living is pretty bogus.

And I'm saying this as former enlisted. Officers work hard too

Response by SFC Walt Littleton made Apr 20 at 2015 8:55 PM

SFC Walt Littleton — Mon, 20 Apr 2015 20:55:43 -0400

LT, I'm not sure what the protocol is these days. In the 70-80's we used last names for E-4 and below in our direct supervision. When serious or formal speak we would use there rank and last mane. Formal or disciplinary issues. You find out at a platoon leader or OIC position you will form a closer relationship with your subordinates and their last names surfice.

Example- To get an SM's attention you will use their rank such as Private Scruffy you will do so and so. This puts the soldier back on enlisted/officer stance. It gets their attention and what you are stating is extremely important. Brings the Team mentality back to military bearing.

NCO's- if they are your direct line subordinates E-5 to E-7 is usually Sergeant or Sarge!

E8 Sergeant or if in command First Sergeant or for your unit they probably call Top!

E-9 Sergeant Major!!! Always

On the street if you are not familiar with the SM always use Rank and if you can see the name tape or just by rank.

In small unit assignments where you have a direct leader roll with your subordinates it is more relaxed and all are a team. Be careful, this is slippery slope and you must be able to keep the lines of communication superior/subordinate. Insure your subordinates know where the line is drawn. be professional and watch and listen when you are assigned to s unit and you will know the protocol for that unit. Structure and military bearing can be to totally opposite of the unit you just left. Be respectful, jump in with the team and they will respect you.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 20 at 2015 9:02 PM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 20 Apr 2015 21:02:35 -0400

Just address them by rank and last name, if you work the day to day with the enlisted you can tone it down to just last name, in my current role I work with a lot of higher ups. Doctors, nurses, and the like. They refer mostly to the enlisted from last name.

I tid but of advice though ma'am for when you work with NCOs it's best to call them by their rank it just is a bit more professional and looks better all around in front of is lower enlisted goons.

Response by Capt Richard I P. made Apr 20 at 2015 10:39 PM

Capt Richard I P. — Mon, 20 Apr 2015 22:39:56 -0400

I always address enlisted members by rank and name. I rarely address junior officers otherwise. Sometimes I address peers by first names. Seniors and civilians are Sir and Ma'am.

Response by CPL Jay Freeman made Apr 21 at 2015 1:32 AM

CPL Jay Freeman — Tue, 21 Apr 2015 01:32:51 -0400

It shows by the way. you talk to us and treat us. The don't call me sir or mam I work for a living should have been tough to you in school at least in the Army I was in the lower enlisted do the bulk of the work NCOs pick and supervise it and officers delegate it and do the lighter work this is why when it is chow time lower enlisted eat first and it works it's way up from there. I had the pleasure of working for a great company commander who believed in this whole heartily. I respected him a lot. I learned his beliefs and learned his ways. We where out on a field maneuvers and he sent me and the gunner to get chow while he sat in the truck. I knew by the time the CO. Would get to the line and threw it he would be late for a meeting and he would rather for go his meal and get to the meeting I grabbed an extra plate and brought it to the truck he was a Lil upset at the action as he felt he needed to wait till the end so my response was to him sir you can wait till the last guy goes threw or the end of the meeting and you will still have something to eat verses for going a meal intirerly. He was thankful I told him sir you do a great job looking out for us let us look out for you from time to time. This is the way it worked while I was in could it be seen as me kissing ass yes but was it no because he had earned it and my. respect

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 21 at 2015 2:47 AM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 21 Apr 2015 02:47:07 -0400

Must be just me but i call MSG Sergeant as per AR

Response by A1C Clay Slater made Apr 21 at 2015 5:40 AM

A1C Clay Slater — Tue, 21 Apr 2015 05:40:45 -0400

In the Air Force, everyone goes by Sir or Ma'am, whether enlisted or officer. That's just Air Force culture, and obviously varies from the other branches.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 21 at 2015 9:49 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 21 Apr 2015 09:49:56 -0400

Ma'am, first off, welcome to the active Army and I wish you the best of luck in your career. My thoughts on the "I work for a living" mentality started as a way for the enlisted to further separate themselves from the Officer Corps. In the Army most officers will address like grade and junior grade officers by their first name. This is rarely seen in the normal Army enlisted corps. It is proper to address a junior enlisted member by either their rank and name or only their last name. SGTs through MSGs should be addressed as SGT and their last name or SGT. Always address a 1SG as a 1SG and a SGM/CSM/SMA as Sergeant Major.

Hope this helps.

Response by Lt Col Jim Coe made Apr 21 at 2015 12:37 PM

Lt Col Jim Coe — Tue, 21 Apr 2015 12:37:33 -0400

Early in my career I made the mistake of addressing a SSgt by his first name while we were on duty. He politely said, "I'd rather you call me Sargeant Barnes." After that I remembered to show respect to subordinates by using their rank and last name or just rank. Later I learned the importance of using complete rank forms Of address to Marines (Master Sargeant vs Sargeant) and Navy Chiefs.

Response by PO2 Terri Myre made Apr 21 at 2015 8:50 PM

PO2 Terri Myre — Tue, 21 Apr 2015 20:50:16 -0400

Always rank and last name when it comes to enlisted personnel Ma'am.

Response by MSG David Chappell made Apr 21 at 2015 9:36 PM

MSG David Chappell — Tue, 21 Apr 2015 21:36:38 -0400

First a response of don't call me sir ma'am I work for a living is just stupid. I will tell you what I learned my last appointment I was surrounded by Marines Marines use full rank for everybody yes staff sergeant yes Sergeant first class yes master sergeant. I picked up the habit and started calling troops by their full rank PFC Smith may I see you private Jinkins come here please staff Sergeant Ralph front leaning rest position. I will tell you it sounds silly but addressing a troop either full rank is a sign of respect they work hard to get promoted they got promoted and now you are reminding them of their hard work by addressing them with their full rank troops appreciate it those who do not will say so you don't have to call me staff Sergeant just sergeant is fine type of thing.

Response by SSG Trevor S. made Apr 22 at 2015 12:24 AM

SSG Trevor S. — Wed, 22 Apr 2015 00:24:29 -0400

The NCO who corrects you with this type of retort is actually establishing the respect of your rank and position, if they are addressing you by Ma'am and making sure their Soldiers do too. By establishing the difference in address the NCO is not being hostile, they are leading by example and assuring the separation of the rank structure. This helps those junior to the NCO in question accept your positional leadership since their leader has done the same.
Don't get me wrong, there are some of us old grumpy Soldiers out there that might actually be hostile if it is before first coffee. This is the general rule of thumb though would be that they are establishing the chain of command and firmly asserting your position in it.

Response by Sgt Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 22 at 2015 1:38 PM

Sgt Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 22 Apr 2015 13:38:45 -0400

If I don't know you personally, I will address you as Sir/Ma'am. Now if I do know you and that's not how you wish to be addressed, then I expect to be told tactfully, please don't call me Sir/M'am. But being nasty about it will get you a side eye.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 22 at 2015 4:42 PM

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 22 Apr 2015 16:42:30 -0400

Rank and last name. Never first name and never Sir or Ma'am. The former denotes inappropriate familiarity, and the latter is reserved for commissioned officers of higher rank than oneself.

Response by SPC Josh Krey made Apr 22 at 2015 6:36 PM

SPC Josh Krey — Wed, 22 Apr 2015 18:36:55 -0400

It depends on the unit I think! After I got to know the officer i was addressed by my last name almost always which i was ok with..

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 23 at 2015 6:04 AM

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 23 Apr 2015 06:04:10 -0400

...by the way, try not to over pronounce the "g" in Sergeant, especially among combat arms Soldiers. If you don't want to draw extra attention with terms of address, the "g" is essentially silent.