How do you ask an NCO a question without "checking up"?

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 07 Mar 2019 15:12:30 -0500

Scenario: I needed to get some paperwork stamped at a location across post and a SSG in my company overhead the conversation and he also needed it. He suggested I go with him 1300 next day. Next day rolls around and I had seen him at the company but wasn't thinking of the stamp until 1030 or later when i noticed he was gone. Worked until 1130 and was told to go to lunch and the SSG had not yet returned and I wanted to ensure I would not be keeping him waiting come 1300. I called him to see if he was still going to be headed to where we need to be and so I could follow him across post or ride with (i don"t know where the location is) and he responded "I'll call you back when I'm on my way but it will be a little after 1300." Regardless of his response the paperwork or anything how can a lower enlisted as an NCO a question like this without "checking up" when I should be "checking down"?
Sincerely, PV2 just trying to stay in his lane

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 7 at 2019 3:26 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 07 Mar 2019 15:26:17 -0500

Was the SSG surprised/ irritated that you called him? Just curious. Nothing wrong here, I see. Just confirming the time and place. Communication is key. It's all about delivery. Checking up I think would be like you asking "Where were/ are you, SSG?". Confirming if the plan was still on is not checking up.

Response by SSG Robert Perrotto made Mar 7 at 2019 3:35 PM

SSG Robert Perrotto — Thu, 07 Mar 2019 15:35:02 -0500

confirming things like a hard time or an appointment is not checking up, it's valuable communication. Checking up would be asking what he is doing, why is he going to be late, or any other 5 "w"'s. He provided you with an answer that was respectful, and didn't come across as annoyed. I would say all is good,

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 7 at 2019 4:02 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 07 Mar 2019 16:02:02 -0500

In that situation the magic phrase is, "I'm just calling to confirm...." and then repeat the message back to them.

Response by CSM Richard StCyr made Mar 7 at 2019 4:19 PM

CSM Richard StCyr — Thu, 07 Mar 2019 16:19:18 -0500

That's not checking up, that's confirming an appointment no harm no foul.

Response by Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS made Mar 7 at 2019 5:54 PM

Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS — Thu, 07 Mar 2019 17:54:48 -0500

You weren't really "checking up." You were ensuring that you were able to accomplish a shared task and using communication to do so. If you are feeling a bit anxious, you can always use a little buttery tact. "Good afternoon SSG, per our conversation yesterday I wanted to make sure there wasn't anything else you needed me to take care of before meeting up to get that paperwork stamped together at 1300." This will act as a gentle reminder while also being proactive to ensure neither of you are off track.

Response by MAJ Byron Oyler made Mar 7 at 2019 10:10 PM

MAJ Byron Oyler — Thu, 07 Mar 2019 22:10:53 -0500

Little different approach to your question, no one's rank or ego should ever get in the way of taking care of those junior. My office is located on post near one of the in processing sites and it is not un common for me to run into very junior enlisted that have never interacted with a major. As long as they don't interact with me using some street slang ( hey bro, dude, etc), my purpose in life is to take care of soldiers and as long as you are respectful, people should treat you the same.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 8 at 2019 9:31 AM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 08 Mar 2019 09:31:07 -0500

If anybody gets butt hurt about a confirmation of an appointment then they should not lead troops. I hope it all worked out for you in the end!

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 9 at 2019 1:03 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 09 Mar 2019 13:03:56 -0500

He told you you should go together. It is checking on an appointment. Would you thik calling a Dr. who is probably at least a CPT about an appointment "Checking up" You are good. you may have even reminded him about the appointment since he had left the Company AO earlier probably trying to get other stuff done.

Response by SFC Casey O'Mally made Mar 9 at 2019 1:16 PM

SFC Casey O'Mally — Sat, 09 Mar 2019 13:16:08 -0500

Everyone has answered the scenario, so I will answer the question for the non-profit scenario.

The key is respect. If you phrase just about anything as you asking advice or trying to understand then you should be fine (without sarcasm, of course - "I'm just trying to understand how you got to be so f*cked up" isn't gonna fly). Confirming already established data is also fine, when done respectfully (as mentioned already).

If there is ever any doubt involve your NCOs. Use YOUR SSG to talk to the other SSG in a peer to peer manner. Not saying this is or should be necessary, but if, in a future similar situation, you feel like communication may not be happening appropriately, this may be a solution.

Like everyone else already said, you seem to have handled this one fine, I have no doubt you will do fine in the future. Good luck, and thank you for raising your right hand.