PV2 Private RallyPoint Member 496723 <div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I feel the need to vent my RP friends and colleagues. I&#39;m very very frustrated. <br /><br />I have a coworker who was hired a year ago. She complains about everything. Everything that has happened to her (according to her) is because either the rest of my coworkers are racist, or they don&#39;t like her, or are intimidated by her. This person does not step up to the plate when additional help is needed. She has not bothered to learn our systems and makes up excuses not to attend training. She is a web designer and has not done any real design work until this week. (She&#39;s been here a year now) She got her performance evaluation and didn&#39;t get a great evaluation. She is of course pissed about that. <br /><br />Because of her lack of pitching in and the higher ups not sure about her skills, she&#39;s not been granted full access. She is claiming she&#39;s being set up for failure and that it&#39;s harrassment and she&#39;s going to sue the agency. She knows how to play the system. She won&#39;t do anything unless you stop and show her how to do it but yet according to her she is knowledgeable in it. <br /><br />Today she is pissed at me because I worked my agency&#39;s booth at a conference last week that everyone within the agency knows about and I didn&#39;t tell her about it. She&#39;s claiming I&#39;m keeping job secrets from her and that I&#39;ve betrayed her. The conference is well known to everyone in the agency. An email went out division-wide about it. I was asked to work the booth because as the agency designer, I have in-depth knowledge of our website and they wanted me there to field questions. <br /><br />I&#39;m beginning to think this is all a smoke screen to cover up her lack of skills. I have tried to friend her and work with her but today, I&#39;m done. I spoke to my boss about her on Monday, and I started keeping a folder in my email of all emails from her. I&#39;m also blind copying my boss on all correspondence with her. <br /><br />Has anyone else encountered this? How did you handle it? If you haven&#39;t encountered anything like this before, lookout. I&#39;m learning that there are some seriously crazy people in government. <br /><br />I appreciate any and all feedback. 2015-02-25T09:22:45-05:00 PV2 Private RallyPoint Member 496723

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I feel the need to vent my RP friends and colleagues. I&#39;m very very frustrated. <br /><br />I have a coworker who was hired a year ago. She complains about everything. Everything that has happened to her (according to her) is because either the rest of my coworkers are racist, or they don&#39;t like her, or are intimidated by her. This person does not step up to the plate when additional help is needed. She has not bothered to learn our systems and makes up excuses not to attend training. She is a web designer and has not done any real design work until this week. (She&#39;s been here a year now) She got her performance evaluation and didn&#39;t get a great evaluation. She is of course pissed about that. <br /><br />Because of her lack of pitching in and the higher ups not sure about her skills, she&#39;s not been granted full access. She is claiming she&#39;s being set up for failure and that it&#39;s harrassment and she&#39;s going to sue the agency. She knows how to play the system. She won&#39;t do anything unless you stop and show her how to do it but yet according to her she is knowledgeable in it. <br /><br />Today she is pissed at me because I worked my agency&#39;s booth at a conference last week that everyone within the agency knows about and I didn&#39;t tell her about it. She&#39;s claiming I&#39;m keeping job secrets from her and that I&#39;ve betrayed her. The conference is well known to everyone in the agency. An email went out division-wide about it. I was asked to work the booth because as the agency designer, I have in-depth knowledge of our website and they wanted me there to field questions. <br /><br />I&#39;m beginning to think this is all a smoke screen to cover up her lack of skills. I have tried to friend her and work with her but today, I&#39;m done. I spoke to my boss about her on Monday, and I started keeping a folder in my email of all emails from her. I&#39;m also blind copying my boss on all correspondence with her. <br /><br />Has anyone else encountered this? How did you handle it? If you haven&#39;t encountered anything like this before, lookout. I&#39;m learning that there are some seriously crazy people in government. <br /><br />I appreciate any and all feedback.

2015-02-25T09:22:45-05:00 2015-02-25T09:22:45-05:00 SFC James Baber 20079

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>&lt;p&gt;The best answer is you don&#39;t you tolerate them. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;But in reality you have to show that you can be the better person and try to achieve a harmony over what is needed from your end and attempt the best to accommodate their tirade if it is presented.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;remember the holy word-&quot;Patience is a virtue&quot;, and a stiff drink ;)&lt;/p&gt;

2013-12-13T06:51:02-05:00 2013-12-13T06:51:02-05:00 CW2 Private RallyPoint Member 20285

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>&lt;p&gt;This is a great thread... It seems that there are sooooooo many difficult people in the Military now a days. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;I just focus on why &quot;I THINK&quot; the person is &quot;BEING&quot; difficult. I would say most of the time its something about &quot;A situation in the unit or something at home or maybe even its just me&quot; that is bothering them and it makes them very difficult to deal with &quot;At that Time&quot;. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;If it is a situation or something at home, I try to help as much as I can and then try to get them help while deflecting the problems so my personnel don&#39;t have to deal with that person while they are dealing with what is bothering them. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;If I am the reason, I try to figure out what it is about me that bothers the person and some times its just my Masonic Ties and they&amp;nbsp;might have a bad taste in their mouth about&amp;nbsp;Masonry. Then I try to help them through their concerns as far as understanding what Masonry&amp;nbsp;REALLY IS and&amp;nbsp;DOES for OUR COMMUNITY.&amp;nbsp;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Sometimes its easy to fix but then sometimes its just a Leadership Issue and that is just the way that person Leads. In that case... I try to deflect it from my people and stay far away from them. &lt;/p&gt;

2013-12-13T14:45:38-05:00 2013-12-13T14:45:38-05:00 SSgt Private RallyPoint Member 496756

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Ya shoot &#39;em. The only piece of advice I can give, is that you need to vent every now and then, but don&#39;t become consumed by her.

2015-02-25T09:42:49-05:00 2015-02-25T09:42:49-05:00 COL Jean (John) F. B. 496791

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div><br />It sounds like you have taken the actions you need to: documentation and talking to your supervisor about the issue. Short of sitting down and having a &quot;heart-to-heart&quot; with her, I don&#39;t think there is anything else productive that you can do.<br /><br />My best advice is to just continue to do your job and not worry about what she does or does not do. If her lack of training and motivation impact your job, document it and keep you supervisor advised. Do not allow her ineptness/lack of motivation to impact your job.<br /><br />I think we have all run into issues like you describe and there are no easy answers, except supervisors taking charge to rectify the problem. Many are reluctant to do so and that impacts everyone. The supervisor should counsel her, put her on a performance plan, and then, take action to get rid of her if she does not meet the expectations of the job. That is difficult to do, especially in the government civilian personnel arena, but it can be done.<br /><br />Not much help, I know, but the situation, while bad, is way too common. I wish you the best and hope everything turns out OK for you.

2015-02-25T09:59:41-05:00 2015-02-25T09:59:41-05:00 LTC Hillary Luton 496793

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div><a class="dark-link bold-link" role="profile-hover" data-qtip-container="body" data-id="31371" data-source-page-controller="question_response_contents" href="/profiles/31371-68w-healthcare-specialist-combat-medic">PV2 Private RallyPoint Member</a> Unfortunately, we can&#39;t fix everyone; however, have you tried talking to her one on one and see if maybe you can find out what is driving her to complain about everything? Granted it could be as simple as she&#39;s lazy and is trying to blame the world for mistreating her because she doesn&#39;t want to actually do any work. If she&#39;s managed to get away with this before, she will continue to try to play this card. <br /><br />Instead of defending yourself when she makes accusations, start asking her questions to show her that you will not be pulled into her game. When she claims that you are keeping secrets, ask her &quot;And why do you feel like I am keeping secrets from you?&quot; If everyone in the company knew about the conference, show her exactly how they knew about it. Tell her that you are sorry that she feels you betrayed her, but your not exactly sure why she feels it was your responsibility to keep her informed. Tell her you are happy to help her learn her job, but if she is going to claim she already knows her job, then she cannot also claim that nobody trains her either. Also tell her that using racist or sexist claims as an excuse for not being treated the same as other co-workers will not earn trust among employers or employees. If she perceives you are shocked or even concerned about her accusations, she will continue to play that card. If you don&#39;t give her the satisfaction of truly acknowledging her attitude, she will eventually give up. <br /><br />If she says she&#39;s mad at you, just look at her calmly and say, &quot;I&#39;m very sorry to hear that, but I cannot change your attitude or your feelings towards me. Only you can do that.&quot; Use non-committal responses to her comments like, &quot;I&#39;m sorry to hear that,&quot; or &quot;OK&quot; and go back to what you are doing or &quot;Calling someone racist is a pretty strong accusation. Do you have proof of this?&quot; OK, the last one was not as non-committal. The point is, the more she gets under your skin, the more she wins. <br /><br />I have dealt with employees like this. Fortunately, the ones that come to mind were subordinates. I&#39;ve had to council them and I&#39;ve even been accused of being racist myself at which I laugh at because I will never fold under accusations like that. I did have one woman ask me what she could do to get a higher rating on her OER so she could be competitive for LTC. I looked her in the eye and told her to get a higher rating she would need to show initiative and do her job without having to be micromanaged. Unfortunately, it went in one ear and right out the other. <br /><br />The fact is, you can&#39;t fix everyone and not everyone really wants to work, they just want the money. You need to focus on your job and do the best you can and try not let her detract you from that. Your superiors will recognize what you do and will reward you for it. Eventually, you may have to look her in the eye and tell her like it is. But, if it does come to that point, make sure you keep a level head and never raise your voice. This way you will always have the upper hand. Good luck and stay strong.

2015-02-25T10:00:21-05:00 2015-02-25T10:00:21-05:00 LTC Private RallyPoint Member 496837

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I agree with LTC Luton. I would add one thing. Duct tape. A roll of duct tape will help this situation.

2015-02-25T10:27:23-05:00 2015-02-25T10:27:23-05:00 SFC Private RallyPoint Member 496866

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Shin kicks for everyone - if everyone knows about this individual and they are still employed I&#39;m guessing your state isn&#39;t &quot;At Will&quot; to let them go. Others mentioned to document everything which is great and I would personally start avoiding interactions unless it was job related. The CC is a good touch too. <br /><br />Web Design isn&#39;t easy but one can teach themselves if they were dedicated - seems like aren&#39;t self motivating. Shoot I taught myself PHP/MYSQL and all that fun stuff in 11th grade but... thought it be cool to shoot and blow stuff up so here I am...

2015-02-25T10:41:31-05:00 2015-02-25T10:41:31-05:00 SSG Trevor S. 496890

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Extensively document all training given to her as well as incidents with her. Just like in the military you need to show a pattern and you need to show that you have done everything to positively effect the situation as you can in your position. Once it comes time for action that documentation will assist you in justification.

2015-02-25T10:48:30-05:00 2015-02-25T10:48:30-05:00 SPC David S. 496913

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Personally if she is not one of your subordinates I would keep your boss advised of any performance issues and let your boss handle any performance related issues. It sounds like your boss is doing it by the numbers, with performance revues and possible implementing a performance improvement plan (PIP). On a more personal level I would have that difficult conversations with her (have a third party there in case it becomes a &#39;she said this&#39; contest). I&#39;d straight up ask her why she is angry with you. Her work personality sounds like that of a complainer. They typically blame everyone but them selves as this allows them to feel blameless in the situation. The easiest way to handle this type of personality is to get them to tell you what they want to accomplish from their complaint. For example: &quot;If people are intimidated by you how does that effect your work performance?&quot; or &quot;So if the other people here are not going to want to hang out with you you wont be able to do your job?&quot;. Me being a bulldozer I know I leave a wake in my path but I try to do everything I can to minimize it. I think at work we to often do very little in communicating how we are affected by others due to the differences in personalities. Additionally we need to cognizant of our own wakes we create. A good book on this topic is &quot;Personality Style at Work: The Secret to Working with (Almost) Anyone&quot;

2015-02-25T10:57:39-05:00 2015-02-25T10:57:39-05:00 Capt Richard I P. 496939

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>1. If they&#39;re worth mentoring, mentor them. <br />2. If not, report them for violations of rules of employer, point out to supervisor legitimate failings in compliance and teamwork in a private setting, not from a personal perspective but an organizational one (if you&#39;re really brave tell it to the coworker first) <br />3. Ignore, don&#39;t waste time. Match level of ignoring to level of idiocy.

2015-02-25T11:05:51-05:00 2015-02-25T11:05:51-05:00 CPT Zachary Brooks 497025

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Government job? Sounds like a government job.<br /><br />Too bad she can't be fired like in the civilian sector...<br /><br />Would you get fired if you smacked her across the face and called her a moron? Or is that one of the only ways to get fired from government jobs?<br /><br />Oh what does it matter? Just watch porn all day at work, not like you can be fired for it ;-)<br /><br />I generally just try to avoid problem coworkers or do not open my mouth about their issues. I ignore it and let them deal with it.

2015-02-25T11:48:23-05:00 2015-02-25T11:48:23-05:00 CPT Private RallyPoint Member 497041

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>You know what tomorrow is right? THROAT PUNCH THURSDAY! I say you celebrate it with her. <br /><br />In all seriousness I would just ignore her. I have been known for my lack of interpersonal skills. Times like this I just sitting back and watch it go down in a ball of fire. Maybe sometimes I might even throw some fuel in there to really get it going. <br /><br />Example: <br />She: You didn&#39;t tell me about the conference. You are hiding secrets.<br />Me: I apologize for that. From now on I will brief you on the daily events. You need to show up at my desk at 0915 with a notepad and two pens. I will let you know what is going on and then you can back brief me. I will let the boss know about your computer being down and how I will tell you what is going on in the office. That must be why you didn&#39;t see the email. <br /><br /><br />Example:<br />Email her on a situation in which you already know the answer and she doesn&#39;t. CC your boss on it and say you are trying to reach out for help from her. Then when she doesn&#39;t give you the right answer or just doesn&#39;t respond at all send another email. Something to the effect that you didn&#39;t need her help and that it was something simple. Then you say something to the effect that you understand that she didn&#39;t help you and be a team player because she must be so busy with all of her own work. Make sure to CC the boss. If she hasn&#39;t produced anything recently it will really look like she is either lazy, lacks teamwork, or doesn&#39;t care.<br /><br /><br />It isn&#39;t nice but either is incompetence.

2015-02-25T11:57:56-05:00 2015-02-25T11:57:56-05:00 SFC Boots Attaway 497046

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Maybe you and your boss can get her transferred to a lesser dept and make her think she is getting promoted. A good title would be Recycle Bin Supervisor.

2015-02-25T11:59:18-05:00 2015-02-25T11:59:18-05:00 SSgt Rilene Ann 497071

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I worked Civil Service for a few years in a drug and alcohol program here in Fairbanks Alaska. Most had been there for years together and covered incompetence of each other. This was not my experience in the military and post military civilian world. Management sets the workplace ethics and acceptable behaviors.

2015-02-25T12:08:39-05:00 2015-02-25T12:08:39-05:00 CPT Private RallyPoint Member 497131

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>If u have a phone with an audio recording function I would use it if you are having one to one interactions with this person. I would serve as proof if she decides to say u are racist and all that other nonsense. Cya all the way. If you don't need the convo just delete it but if u do you will be protected.

2015-02-25T12:24:41-05:00 2015-02-25T12:24:41-05:00 MSgt Michelle Mondia 497134

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I&#39;ve had co workers like this in the past. Make a choice if you want to mentor her or not. If not...then nothing will change and this will continue, you just have to distance yourself. Or decide to mentor her. In these cases when individuals feel discriminated against remember it&#39;s not about the claim being grounded its about how they feel. If they feel this way it&#39;s usually because at one point or another sadly, they actually had this experience. It&#39;s important to be empathedic. Engagement is key. Involve this person, give them small goals to accomplish so they can have some successes to boost their moral. She got a bad review and then felt left out of a work function. How would you feel? Just the feeling is important not the reasons why it wouldn&#39;t happen to you. I found that often these individuals feel like outsiders for a long time and it takes one person to get them engaged and then the positive builds off the positive instead of the other way around. Don&#39;t give up on people especially when you have to spend 8 hours a day with them. If you saw someone drowning you&#39;d lift them up. See if if they can tread water. They might start swimming...if anything your Chaplin should have some great advice about this, I often turn that way even though I&#39;m not religious per say. But they know a great deal about people and psychology as well.

2015-02-25T12:24:56-05:00 2015-02-25T12:24:56-05:00 SFC(P) Private RallyPoint Member 497239

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Unfortunately yes most of us have ran into someone who has a lack of skill set that refuses to train, be trained or even make an attempt other than to place the blame elsewhere. This is not just an issue in the &quot;government&quot;, it can be found in any company, job set. Keeping documentation is the best way to CYA in this case. <br />The individual is looking to find reasons or make a case instead of learning and becoming a subject matter expert or even knowledgeable in her job. Is she a passive aggressive individual that enjoys the conflict and dissatisfaction she creates by complaining about special treatment of others and/or perceived slights she feels she receives? More than likely so but if she is getting the response she wants from you she will continue to be a thorn in your side. Continue to do your job proficiently and keep documentation on her behavior/emails and move on. Good luck

2015-02-25T13:00:34-05:00 2015-02-25T13:00:34-05:00 CPT Private RallyPoint Member 497654

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>First, her behaviors. Her behavior is demonstrated in nearly everyone to a lesser degree. When given the options &quot;I suck at my job&quot; or &quot;I&#39;m good at my job, I don&#39;t know what the hell they are talking about&quot;, people will choose the latter as it is necessary to preserve self-esteem. If you suck at something you are supposed to be knowledgeable about, then what else can&#39;t you do? It is a very hard thing to admit that you have made mistakes/failed...and unless it is done in a non-judgmental way or an environment that fosters growth from mistakes rather than punitive actions then it is a challenge. I don&#39;t mean the work environment, but simply at home. <br /><br />One way that can help you be understanding on her perspective would be to remember that everyone has a story. There are some that have not grown up in ideal conditions and perhaps her struggles are partly as a result of that. Additionally, I&#39;ve noticed a &quot;predisposition to perceived racism&quot; among minorities in certain regions. This isn&#39;t to say &quot;If you&#39;re black from the South, you&#39;re going to think everyone is racist&quot;, but I do know of people across the nation that assumed that I was racist because of my skin color...and were shocked that I didn&#39;t see them as anything other than a person on my team. No less, no more. <br /><br />Now....having that piece out of the way, I&#39;m not trying to say you are causing this situation, but the tension can help amplify things, much the same way as animals smell fear/hostility. Your body language may be communicating that frustration. She is very likely sending the same messages....but you can&#39;t control her, so I&#39;m just going to focus on what you can do to help YOU.<br /><br />Step 1: I would try inviting her to sit down with you. Allow her to invite someone in of her choosing so that she doesn&#39;t feel that it&#39;s an attack on her. You can also tell her that you want to record it, as you have concerns about her claims of discrimination, and so this way it is possible to ensure that the conversation is able to be reviewed accurately without any bias. This may put her on guard a bit, but you still have to protect yourself. <br /><br />Step 2: Find out why she is perceiving things as she is. There may be opportunities for you to develop your delivery, or using trigger words that you don&#39;t even realize. Additionally, you are showing that you DO care about what she can bring to the table with regards to a productive status. You need to be honest with her as well. Discuss the areas that you have concerns on, and say that you would like to offer the help. <br /><br />Step 3: Make a communication plan. She needs to understand that she is not entitled to EVERY piece of information that you have, and likewise, some information is received by her through other sources, so you don&#39;t repeat everything to prevent duplication. If she wants to be notified on something that is important, you can always agree to include her.<br /><br />Step 4: Set up a follow-up time. This says &quot;This is a working plan, I want to see how things are going in ___ days/weeks/etc.&quot; It demonstrates that she is a part of the team. This also shows good faith that you have tried to work with her in the event that she comes back to claim discrimination.<br /><br />Now that I have that out of the way, I&#39;m not trying to point the blame, but I always say that you can&#39;t force others to change, but sometimes changing the way you interact can spark that desire in them. Have you tried recognizing when she DOES accomplish something positive as well as generating the feedback when she screws up?? Sometimes people that have been raised in largely negative environments feel that low self esteem and hearing the negative feedback reinforces those feelings of worthlessness too. <br /><br />Best of luck, and hopefully this will provide some guidance that can be of use.<br />v/r,<br />CPT Butler

2015-02-25T14:45:38-05:00 2015-02-25T14:45:38-05:00 SSG (ret) William Martin 497812

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Hey Lisa, This is a very interesting post and it&#39;s well detailed. I am sure you have already taken initiative to be a good employee, a good person in general and a leader by trying to show her the way of doing things. I am sure you know the old saying, &quot;You can lead a horse to the water hole, but you can&#39;t make em&#39; drink&quot;. Unless you are her supervisor, I hold that person partially responsible unless the supervisor has already informed the unproductive employee on what she needs to do to improve and if she doesn&#39;t, that also needs to be on paper. Just hang in there if you&#39;re not responsible for her development. Eventually the system will wake up and say GTFO, you&#39;re done.

2015-02-25T15:32:26-05:00 2015-02-25T15:32:26-05:00 CPT Catherine R. 498658

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Overly simple answer: Don&#39;t worry about what she&#39;s doing (unless you are her direct supervisor), strive to improve yourself instead. If she asks for help, help her but otherwise, continue doing your job and move yourself forward. She&#39;ll reap what she sows when she stagnates and you move on up!

2015-02-25T22:18:06-05:00 2015-02-25T22:18:06-05:00 CPO Private RallyPoint Member 499076

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Document, document, document. Make any requests to her via email so there is a record. Any thing she does positive or negative be sure it&#39;s reflected in an email. When you point out a deficiency be sure to let her know and ask her if she needs additional instruction. Make sure you show every effort was made to help her and if she choses not to straighten up and carry her weight, it&#39;s on her. If I have to take action against anyone in my job I pretend the matter may end up in court someday and I want to be able to prove that person was afforded every option under the sun. It was on them, not me why things ended the way they did!

2015-02-26T03:48:52-05:00 2015-02-26T03:48:52-05:00 CSM Private RallyPoint Member 499164

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>&lt;----- That guy is not looking forward to that side of civilian life...without the ability to devour souls I shall grow old and turn to ash.

2015-02-26T06:27:09-05:00 2015-02-26T06:27:09-05:00 PV2 Private RallyPoint Member 499179

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I truly appreciate everyone's advice. I sort of saw this coming a couple of months ago and something told me to start saving stuff and so I did. I have tried to have a one on one talk with her to see if something more is going on, however it's become painfully obvious to me that she has issues. Yesterday after I posted this, I went to a meeting where she tried to stir up drama in our branch meeting and I seriously came close to reaching across the table and throat punching her. <br /><br />This is why I love RallyPoint! Awesome folks like everyone on here. THANK YOU ALL!!!<br /><br />I want to give a shout out to <a class="dark-link bold-link" role="profile-hover" data-qtip-container="body" data-id="137225" data-source-page-controller="question_response_contents" href="/profiles/137225-255a-information-services-technician-354th-ca-bde-352nd-cacom">CW3 Private RallyPoint Member</a> who walked around Federal Triangle with me yesterday and talked me down. The best thing he told me which calmed me down and got me laughing was "Prison Orange is not my color" LOL Thank you Chief!

2015-02-26T06:51:17-05:00 2015-02-26T06:51:17-05:00 Maj Private RallyPoint Member 499197

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Lots of great advice here. Sounds like you are covering your butt appropriately which I encourage you to continue to do. Piece of advice, be careful with the blind cc to your boss. Can get tricky when communications that are reasonably considered private between ppl are used to justify punitive actions in the workplace without the other party&#39;s knowledge they are being shared. It&#39;s why we have the &quot;consent to monitor&quot; statement all over our webmail a and whatnot. Bottom line: the one common denominator this co-worker of yours has throughout all of her issues is her. Until she realizes that, clear the area as if she was a UXO and try not to get messy.

2015-02-26T07:16:13-05:00 2015-02-26T07:16:13-05:00 SGM Erik Marquez 499545

<div class="images-v2-count-1"><div class="content-picture image-v2-number-1" id="image-26410"> <div class="social_icons social-buttons-on-image"> <a href='https://www.facebook.com/sharer/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.rallypoint.com%2Fanswers%2Fhow-do-you-deal-with-a-difficult-coworker-soldier%3Futm_source%3DFacebook%26utm_medium%3Dorganic%26utm_campaign%3DShare%20to%20facebook' target="_blank" class='social-share-button facebook-share-button'><i class="fa fa-facebook-f"></i></a> <a href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=How+do+you+deal+with+a+difficult+coworker%2Fsoldier%3F&amp;url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.rallypoint.com%2Fanswers%2Fhow-do-you-deal-with-a-difficult-coworker-soldier&amp;via=RallyPoint" target="_blank" class="social-share-button twitter-custom-share-button"><i class="fa fa-twitter"></i></a> <a href="mailto:?subject=Check this out on RallyPoint!&body=Hi, I thought you would find this interesting:%0D%0AHow do you deal with a difficult coworker/soldier?%0D%0A %0D%0AHere is the link: https://www.rallypoint.com/answers/how-do-you-deal-with-a-difficult-coworker-soldier" target="_blank" class="social-share-button email-share-button"><i class="fa fa-envelope"></i></a> </div> <a class="fancybox" rel="a66ba1db4f69b9653c83e6e8965a9167" href="https://d1ndsj6b8hkqu9.cloudfront.net/pictures/images/000/026/410/for_gallery_v2/shovel.jpg"><img src="https://d1ndsj6b8hkqu9.cloudfront.net/pictures/images/000/026/410/large_v3/shovel.jpg" alt="Shovel" /></a></div></div>

2015-02-26T11:28:17-05:00 2015-02-26T11:28:17-05:00 SGM Erik Marquez 499564

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Your doing the right things<br /><br />Do not lower yourself to her level.<br />Track and keep every bit of correspondence.<br />For any verbal conversation, send her an email that summarizes the discussion, if you get any response it will be &quot;proof&quot; the conversation happened. &quot; hey XXX just wanted to make sure I understood what you need.. you wanted me to help set up up the XXX program and and show you how we do that this afternoon after lunch? Cool, let me know if 13:30 will do and I&#39;ll come by your desk&quot;<br /><br />Or what ever.<br /><br />Do not wait to keep you supervisor in the loop. ... CC or BCC those emails, if you want no action then state so upfront so it does not leave the supervisor guessing on a needed action. <br />&quot;Boss, no action needed right now, just wanted to keep you in the loop should this become a problem later...&quot;<br />Or the like.<br /><br />Id bet she is pushing for an overreaction from you or any other employee so she can use that event later. Kill her with kindness .. it won&#39;t change her, but it will drive her nuts....lol and keep you from being the focus of the complaint that IS coming.

2015-02-26T11:36:42-05:00 2015-02-26T11:36:42-05:00 SSG Robert Burns 499768

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Shoot the hostage.

2015-02-26T13:37:54-05:00 2015-02-26T13:37:54-05:00 SSG Robert Burns 499784

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I would just start asking her massive amounts of questions about the topics she is so &quot;knowledgable&quot; on. Keep doing that until it is just painfully obvious that she is not. Then have her teach in services on all those topics. When she fails at that she can be terminated.

2015-02-26T13:43:01-05:00 2015-02-26T13:43:01-05:00 Lt Col Private RallyPoint Member 499914

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Document, document, document. Every time she misses a suspense, turns in sub-standard work, fails at a task...document. You need the paper trail to defend yourself against any future actions from her, and to ensure any actions you take against her cannot be overturned.

2015-02-26T15:05:41-05:00 2015-02-26T15:05:41-05:00 MAJ Private RallyPoint Member 500060

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div><br />I would step back sometimes failure is required for people to see the cause and sometimes you will exhaust 95% of you energy to help one person when you can spread that to help others. <br /><br />I agree with <a class="dark-link bold-link" role="profile-hover" data-qtip-container="body" data-id="90491" data-source-page-controller="question_response_contents" href="/profiles/90491-42h-senior-human-resources-officer">LTC Private RallyPoint Member</a> and <a class="dark-link bold-link" role="profile-hover" data-qtip-container="body" data-id="179491" data-source-page-controller="question_response_contents" href="/profiles/179491-ltc-hillary-luton">LTC Hillary Luton</a>.

2015-02-26T16:28:51-05:00 2015-02-26T16:28:51-05:00 SSG Leonard Johnson 500083

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Well People like this...You really can't have a conversation. when they loose a debate, the will immediately pull the race card. <br />I noticed this on debates that I do in school. It usually comes from the liberal left....don't get me wrong, not labeling anyone. It's just an observation. when I debate these folks, it's like I hand them a noose and they hang themselves with it. <br />I know back in my day when I had civilians I had to contend with who thought they were better than me, I just reminded them <br />1) you are a civilian, you work for me, not the other way around.<br />2) anytime you want to take me to school....lets get it on....that usually stopped their snobbishness.

2015-02-26T16:40:05-05:00 2015-02-26T16:40:05-05:00 PO3 John Jeter 500085

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Regretfully, I think I had better pass on this one. My inherent smart-a**ness is raging full steam and desperately wanting a crack at your nemesis...... However it would not be constructive by any means...... Good luck and pleas let us know how it turns out

2015-02-26T16:43:13-05:00 2015-02-26T16:43:13-05:00 SFC Dan Sorrow, M.S. 500546

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>What I see the most often in federal employment is management not being willing to make the tough calls during the probationary period. There is no reason this employee should have been retained after the end of that evaluation period, based upon the report you've provided.

2015-02-26T21:03:39-05:00 2015-02-26T21:03:39-05:00 SFC Dan Sorrow, M.S. 500555

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Here is another piece of advise. Know when a problem is yours and when it isn&#39;t. Unless my manager asks me, in writing, to keep tabs and to provide her with emails from a fellow employee, I won&#39;t do it. I&#39;ve seen bad employees retained and good ones discharged for &quot;failing to maintain harmonious working relationships within an organization&quot;. The file you&#39;re building could be your own. CYAy friend.

2015-02-26T21:08:13-05:00 2015-02-26T21:08:13-05:00 PO1 Phil Audritsh 500556

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>I have noticed that when people feel as if they aren't in control of what matters to them, they fall to pieces. Is she far away from her family? Someone on poor health? It's bad when it affects their daily functioning, but but it happens.

2015-02-26T21:09:08-05:00 2015-02-26T21:09:08-05:00 SGM Private RallyPoint Member 501453

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Incompetence fears Competence. It lives in a state of denial. It will always create diversions from the truth. Diversions usually involve throwing penalty flags to slow others down so they have less time to deal with the real issue. Gov is notorious for allowing weeds to grow tall enough to slow the growth of flowers. Studies show that is usually not so much because the first line supervisor won't act, but because there is little support above for the leader's action. The exception sometimes seems to be the highly personalized attack that is usually wrong in the end. Both such inaction and actions that abuse power contribute to feelings of lack of organizational justice. When we get to that point, things simmer for a while until it begins to spill over--just read the headlines--terrorism, shootings by police, riots in the streets. The model of Frustration, Confrontation, Escalation repeats itself until the frustration is relieved. <br />In my world, the concept of the greater good means we must deal with the unruly problem child. That takes real courage and strength and is no easy task. Unfortunately, few leaders are strong enough--or have enough time to devote to managing the unruly exception--without your help. That doesn't mean we have to become social workers to handle whatever is out of whack in her life or personality that brings us the drama. It means it takes a truly good human being to be firm but fair and to ensure everyone gets a fair shake.

2015-02-27T11:26:51-05:00 2015-02-27T11:26:51-05:00 SPC Anthony Davis 501611

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Keep a complete in detaile file of her problems, start giving her more evaluations. Have her sign everything stating she understands why she has received a negative or positive evaluation and is being offered to be helped to understand the way the company wants the work done. After you get a stack of negative evaluation in s row cut the dead weight. If she tries to say any thing you have the documents to CYA cover your ass.

2015-02-27T12:53:43-05:00 2015-02-27T12:53:43-05:00 SFC Private RallyPoint Member 501620

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>If the whole world is against her,let her fight that battle alone. Some people want to be the victim. Just don't involve yourself in their sob story.

2015-02-27T12:58:40-05:00 2015-02-27T12:58:40-05:00 SGT(P) Khalid Wise 501638

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Depending on how comfortable you are with my advisement... We're this happening to me I would request a sit down with the first supervisor over you to get her "corporate terrorism" on the record and out in the open, I would stress that I am willing to work with or train anyone to the betterment of the team, but will not be "bullied or terrorized" in the workplace by co-workers as their is no place on an effective and efficient team for bullies or bullying behavior.

2015-02-27T13:05:33-05:00 2015-02-27T13:05:33-05:00 SSG Greg Rivera 501920

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Sounds like a good possibility that she is one of those. The other thought I have going is, where is the leadership in all of this? Sounds like a failure on their part. If that employee has been able to hide for the last year, they must not be very involved in the company.

2015-02-27T15:39:55-05:00 2015-02-27T15:39:55-05:00 GySgt Joe Strong 502237

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>It's not just Gov't. <br />Document, Document, Document. Avoid group projects with that person, seek, if you have to create group projects with others &amp; ensure you are collegial and professional in that group.<br />Ensure your work isn't affected.<br />Since it is Gov't it may take forever, but they'll eventually be taken care of.<br />Also, don't take or accept the role of their sounding board - it can be used against you when they eventually have to face the music.

2015-02-27T18:28:04-05:00 2015-02-27T18:28:04-05:00 1SG John Aaron 502249

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>The cry of racism and sexism are mostly hollow and are the tools for the lazy. Don't worry about it do your job you have done everything you can she has to make her own decisions.

2015-02-27T18:34:25-05:00 2015-02-27T18:34:25-05:00 LTC David S. Chang, ChFC®, CLU® 502311

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>The question of the century! I have had to deal with this quite a bit. The first thing is to respectfully explain how the behavior and acts of the person have affected the environment. One person told me they didn't know they came across that way. <br /><br />Culture, values, and upbringing play a role. If in a leadership position, verbally counsel, if they still do it, then written counseling. Then if again, let them go. I had to do that and although it could be tough to do, you want to look at the big picture.

2015-02-27T19:26:06-05:00 2015-02-27T19:26:06-05:00 COL Charles Williams 504312

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Aside from solutions I learned growing up in the NJ, in the NY Metropolitan Area, I have two things to offer.<br /><br />1. You are losing more sleep over this than her, which is usually the case. The only person you have to be good with, is the one that you see in the mirror.<br /><br />2. Stay professional, stay on the high ground, and don't make it personal and meet her on her level.<br /><br />I have had more than one racial and/or EO complaint against me... and they are always frustrating to say the least. I am just frustrated I can't make a racially based complaint.

2015-03-01T00:16:52-05:00 2015-03-01T00:16:52-05:00 PO2 Jd Hopkins 504350

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>Done people are more comfortable being victims. They will always be the ones that were screwed over, taken advantage of, or discriminated against . Though I commend you effort to reach out to her you have to be cautious. These people are toxic to everyone around them. In the end any failed effort you've given will become your fault.

2015-03-01T00:53:26-05:00 2015-03-01T00:53:26-05:00 Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS 504807

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div>This is a great topic. Specifically because our interpersonal skills tend to go on hiatus while we are in. We forget how to exist in a "horizontal" organization (where there is clear rank delineation).<br /><br />I'm going to approach this point by point, for clarity purposes. <br /><br />"She complains about everything." - Some people are just like this. We had them in the service, and I've met them outside as well. In the service, with a hierarchy, we just tell complainers to "shut up, and move on" and most folks are only able to "b#$% laterally" to their peer group, which reduces it across the forces significantly. Unfortunately, in the civilian sector, everyone is your peer group, so the number of people that will complain to you about everything and anything escalates exponentially.<br /><br />"Everything that has happened to her (according to her) is because either the rest of my coworkers are racist, or they don't like her, or are intimidated by her." - Three separate issues here. Anytime she drops the "racist/sexist/EO/etc" card, instantly tell her she needs to file a complaint to HR then. Just stop the conversation. "Bob's a racist.." "You need to file a complaint with HR then." end convo. Stop it dead in its tracks. <br /><br />This does two things, first it covers you, because if she is correct, it does need to be reported. And if you were even incidentally involved in not reporting it, then you are just as much to blame. Second, it shuts her up.<br /><br />As for why people don't like her, or are intimidate her, you can either engage that conversation or disengage from that conversation. She obviously thinks you like her, because you keep engaging with her. She probably thinks others dislike her because they disengage, and she is justifying it with "intimidation" as an excuse.<br /><br />"This person does not step up to the plate when additional help is needed. She has not bothered to learn our systems and makes up excuses not to attend training." - This answers why people dislike her. Proficiency is a better reason to dislike someone than any other.<br /><br />"She is claiming she's being set up for failure" - This is the first reasonable thing I've heard, and I assume you translated this into English for her. Being set up for failure is a valid concern. This is something she should approach with her boss, and you just tell her that.<br /><br />"and that it's harrassment" - see above concerning racism/sexism/etc. It's an HR issue that you want no part of.<br /><br />"and she's going to sue the agency." - Wooo... The second she explicitly says she's going to get litigious, I "think" she you should report it to HR. I don't know if you have an obligation or not, but if she says she is going to sue, that shows forethought/planning. It's an issue that needs to be addressed, and since she has spoken to you, you are a "potential witness," you want as much agency protection as you can get.<br /><br />"She knows how to play the system." - She thinks she knows how to "game" the system. It's the old gambler's run. Sooner or later, it will go wrong. My personal advise is to protect yourself, disengage where you can, and don't let her drag you into the game.<br /><br />"She won't do anything unless you stop and show her how to do it but yet according to her she is knowledgeable in it." - Fake it until you know it? This really sounds like a fear of failure issue. The only way to address this is to bring it up to your &amp; her boss (same person?) and have them communicate between each other. Each time you retrain her, it takes away from your other tasks. You take a net loss to keep her at a net zero.<br /><br />"Today she is pissed at me because I worked my agency's booth at a conference last week that everyone within the agency knows about and I didn't tell her about it. She's claiming I'm keeping job secrets from her and that I've betrayed her. The conference is well known to everyone in the agency. An email went out division-wide about it. I was asked to work the booth because as the agency designer, I have in-depth knowledge of our website and they wanted me there to field questions." - Just because she didn't read emails, doesn't mean you were keeping secrets. You just didn't talk about something you assumed everyone knew about. It just didn't come up organically. It's not that you didn't tell her about it, it's that it was just another work assignment.<br /><br />"I'm beginning to think this is all a smoke screen to cover up her lack of skills." - Bingo!!! Actually, I'd call it personal insecurity. Do you know what a fake really hates, more than anything else? The Real Thing. They can't stand it. If you look at people who tear others down, they have one thing in common. They "lack." People who "possess" don't tear others down. They build them up. They help, they reinforce. They don't need to waste their precious time on it.<br /><br />"I have tried to friend her and work with her but today, I'm done." - Per above, you are one of the people who "possess." You build. But sooner or later, you realize a project isn't worth your precious time, and you need to cut your losses.<br /><br />"I spoke to my boss about her on Monday, and I started keeping a folder in my email of all emails from her." - Smart move. I'd also recommend keeping a notebook of all interactions with her, especially any counselling, direction, or training. Especially if it is repetitive. <a class="dark-link bold-link" role="profile-hover" data-qtip-container="body" data-id="365577" data-source-page-controller="question_response_contents" href="/profiles/365577-sgm-erik-marquez">SGM Erik Marquez</a> made a great suggestion about the follow on email. If she questions it, just say it's for your own outlook tracking, and it makes it so much easier to track active projects.<br /><br />"I'm also blind copying my boss on all correspondence with her." - As someone else mentioned, this may bite you. It's a good tool, but use it cautiously.<br /><br />"Has anyone else encountered this?" - Oh God yes! It's not just you. You've heard the phrase "that 10%?" Well, most people meet (not just interact) about 2000-5000~ people in their lifetime, which means you will encounter about 200-500 of those people in your lifetime.

2015-03-01T10:51:25-05:00 2015-03-01T10:51:25-05:00 SSG Roger Ayscue 2228562

<div class="images-v2-count-0"></div><a class="dark-link bold-link" role="profile-hover" data-qtip-container="body" data-id="31371" data-source-page-controller="question_response_contents" href="/profiles/31371-68w-healthcare-specialist-combat-medic">PV2 Private RallyPoint Member</a> Just remember that you can not employ a wood chipper to solve the problem. Nope, explosives and a wood chipper, while very emotionally satisfying, not legal.<br /><br />I would do as you are doing, document everything, BCC your boss, and remain calm. THEN, when the time comes, Drop the blade.

2017-01-08T12:02:27-05:00 2017-01-08T12:02:27-05:00 2015-02-25T09:22:45-05:00