How do you feel about having REAL friends at work?

2014-08-26T15:50:29-04:00

It seems like every where I look or turn someone is smiling in my face one moment and then talking about me behind my back. How do you deal with this situation? I just wish I had atleast one person to confide in.

Response by SFC Mark Merino made Jan 29 at 2015 11:35 AM

2015-01-29T11:35:22-05:00

Don't get down on yourself or the situation. What is it in your life that keeps putting yourself in this situation? Are you surrounding yourself with the right kind of people, or do you put out a vibe that these backstabbers are drawn to? Sometimes, we go throughperiods in our life where we are just limited by our options and we have to choose the least bad option for ourselves. It is better to be alone than to surround yourself with people who are bad for you. Hang tough. V/R, Uncle Mark.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 29 at 2015 11:45 AM

2015-01-29T11:45:14-05:00

Work is where you go to earn money. Ideally you should be able to do something you don't hate, so you don't dread going to work each day. Friendship, however, is sometimes just not going to happen.

If you do make some real friends at work, good for you. It helps, and certainly makes the workday more pleasant. If you don't, don't worry too much about it...that's why we have after-work activities. Join a dart club, or go to car shows, or go geocaching, or enter a disc-golf tournament, or whatever. It doesn't matter what you do, as long as you get out of the house doing something you enjoy, you'll meet people with interests in common with you. That's where you're more likely to make real friends.

Response by TSgt Jackie Jones made Jan 29 at 2015 12:01 PM

2015-01-29T12:01:17-05:00

Some people just don't know how to behave. I would kill them with kindness OR call them out on the backstabbing. They usually don't realize they are even doing it or they don't think it's wrong. Most are embarrassed to know you know what they say.

Response by PFC Tuan Trang made May 24 at 2015 11:31 AM

2015-05-24T11:31:32-04:00

You are who you are, that what make it special, if someone talk bad, let them be. I have no affects, if you letting it affect you it can stress you out.

Response by SGT Hector Rojas, AIGA, SHA made May 24 at 2015 11:40 AM

2015-05-24T11:40:38-04:00

I always remind my soldiers that the Army is a place where you can make friends.
Your unit however, is a place where you can be friendly but not make friends.

Response by SSgt Boyd Herrst made Jun 16 at 2018 5:18 PM

2018-06-16T17:18:42-04:00

I’ve been in a sit-rep such as this.. I’ve researched to find if the talk was negative or positive.. If Positive... I try to keep it that way.... when negative .... I ask myself if I caused the negative problem and what can I do to change it.?
Maybe it’s not me .. they may perceive that it’s something positive i(you) do that irks them, makes them look bad.. Their perception of a team player does not match what a team player really is.. ( maybe because they are screw-ups and you are not, you make them look worse than what they are. OR... Are you the screw-up ?... A good friend would tell you to your face that s’thing is wrong..
and you better straighten out and fly right.
You said you don’t have good friends to confide in.. Why is that ? Do you do things inadvertently to cause yourself to not have a friend to confide in.. it’s time to break out the pad and paper and writing down things ... negatives on one side and positives on another.. and work on that. You’re a SFC and a Drill SGT
You must have done s’thing positive to reach that point...

Response by SSgt Boyd Herrst made Jun 16 at 2018 5:24 PM

2018-06-16T17:24:01-04:00

By the way SFC, Drill SGT (VTS)... I’m a AF SSGT. You have others here that are offering up points ... regardless of if they are Army or any other Service branch .. we all want to give a brother a hand up..
it’s what we are here for..