How do you feel about spouses using their Husband or Wife's Active/Veteran status for Veteran's Day freebies?

2014-11-12T11:32:41-05:00

With Veteran's Day just passing, how do you feel about spousal dependents getting free perks (Meals, Discounts, Etc.) that are meant for Active Duty, Reserve, National Guard and Veterans?

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 12 at 2014 11:47 AM

2014-11-12T11:47:30-05:00

If a veteran/active duty member goes to place x,y and z and they decide to offer the benefit to the family members, I see no issue with it. OTOH, if spouse goes to a place and starts demanding the benefit because he/she is a dependent, then I say hell no.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 12 at 2014 11:50 AM

2014-11-12T11:50:00-05:00

They get the benefits of housing, medical, Exchange, Commissary, fitness centers, and programs on military installations for dependents. Don't they get enough just for being married?!

Response by SSG Robert Burns made Nov 12 at 2014 11:52 AM

2014-11-12T11:52:37-05:00

How do I feel about my family getting free things? I feel great about it!

Response by SGT Ben Keen made Nov 12 at 2014 12:08 PM

2014-11-12T12:08:34-05:00

Why shouldn't they get some of the perks? Sure they didn't get shot at and whatnot but who held it down on the home front or has been supporting the Veteran through his/her transition?

Response by MSG Wade Huffman made Nov 12 at 2014 12:56 PM

2014-11-12T12:56:02-05:00

I choose none of the above. The 'freebies' you speak of are provided at the discretion of the merchant. If these businesses choose to recognize the sacrifices of family members as well.. then more power to them. It is NOT for us to say who a business provides free stuff to and who they don't...they are under no obligation what so ever to provide anything free to anyone.
As to the photo, obviously in bad taste. I'm sure the views of that particular individual do not represent the views of the majority of family members.

Response by Cpl Tom Williams made Nov 12 at 2014 12:58 PM

2014-11-12T12:58:48-05:00

They're not the one who earned it.

Response by PO1 Steven Kuhn made Nov 12 at 2014 2:10 PM

2014-11-12T14:10:06-05:00

I believe that when a member serves, the spouse that remains behind takes on the duties and responsibilities of both members. Not knowing whether you are ever going to see the one you love is difficult to say the least. Spouses serve in a different capacity, but they still serve when they unconditionally support those that do.

Respectfully,

Steve

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 12 at 2014 2:14 PM

2014-11-12T14:14:05-05:00

I will say this, I dont think that spouses should take over-advantage of "service members" discounts. I do feel at some times even i have done so. Im not in it to gain publicity or charity, Im In the United States ARMY because I chose to make a difference. It is very nice to get perks and the spouses do sacrifice the time they could be spending with their SM. With all this said I don't see why they shouldnt receive some of the perks at least. If the merchants want to dish out to spouses too, fine by me.

Response by Lt Col Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 12 at 2014 2:39 PM

2014-11-12T14:39:40-05:00

Although I wouldn't restrict it, I would think a family member would show more appreciation for the perk. The "milk it for all it's worth" mentality isn't really the professional attitude Americans should associate with military service. That being said...I did share my free Red Robin burger with my daughter. It was a great opportunity to show her my expectation that she appreciate military service. She even stopped at the table of a young private and thanked him for his service. She was nervous, and had to drum up some courage, but she had her own little triumph as a result.

Response by SGT Steve Vincent made Nov 12 at 2014 2:51 PM

2014-11-12T14:51:42-05:00

It comes down to this: It is the individual businesses that decide whether they want to give something back to the military community, as a show of respect for everything we have made possible for them. If a company doesn't offer a military/veteran's discount, I don't storm to social media and berate and degrade them as unpatriotic. I just buy what I need and move out. If there are 2 businesses selling the same thing, one giving a discount and one not, I will attempt to go to the one that does, but it isn't something I base my shopping habits around. It is called goodwill, and though it is deeply appreciated by me, it isn't anything that will make me not shop at your store. It is just something that brightens my day just a little, to see that some businesses at least try to make it look like they support us:)

Response by Sgt Packy Flickinger made Nov 12 at 2014 3:42 PM

2014-11-12T15:42:57-05:00

Spouses get shipped all over with him (or her). She deals with out him for long periods. She has to deal with crappy base housing. She has to deal with him being "distant" when him, meaning his head is still in the war. The spouse deals with a lot of crap, I think she's entitled to a free meal. Besides, if the vendor doesn't want to give her the perk, they don't have to.

Response by PO3 Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 12 at 2014 5:16 PM

2014-11-12T17:16:07-05:00

I don't live near a base anymore. I don't recall this sort of behavior from my own time on active duty. I'm sitting here wondering how much of a thing this really is. Is it just some jack wagon on social media trying to get attention or is this like a real thing? How does this become a thing even? Wouldn't service members make sure their spouses keep the social media stupid sheet to a minimum so as to keep from besmirching the service itself?

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 12 at 2014 5:49 PM

2014-11-12T17:49:23-05:00

My wife agrees with me. While it is tough being back home while we are forward...They still aren't forward. They still aren't in the military. If a merchant wants to include dependants in their discount that is nice but the dependants shouldn't expect or demand it...which happens all too often.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 12 at 2014 7:36 PM

2014-11-12T19:36:04-05:00

Sometimes the spouses have it harder than the SM

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 12 at 2014 7:52 PM

2014-11-12T19:52:59-05:00

I think that they deserve the same perks as SM/Veterans. Based off what some of those spouses go through while the SM/Veteran is deployed, TDY, or away on training exercises, they deserve it too. They sacrifice a lot of time and energy when the SM/Veteran is away. Taking into consideration that when we are gone, they have to change their schedules to be able to run the day to day operations of the household, that normally takes two people. If there are kids involved, they have to work out their schedule for sporting events, day care, school, any and all after school activities. Then on top of that, when we return, deal with us and the changes that we went through while deployed whether it is our attitudes that changed or our thinking proccesses that changed. They deal and put up with a lot. I believe that spouses deserve the perks.

Response by SFC Boots Attaway made Nov 12 at 2014 9:16 PM

2014-11-12T21:16:04-05:00

PFC Steve Joy , My brother (a Viet Nam Vet) and I went to Denny's for their free Build your own Slam Breakfast and it did not include any drinks but that was fine with us as we saved $13.00+. The service was great despite the fact that they were swamped with people waiting for a table, I left a $5.00 tip because of the service. All of the employees there thanked all vets for their service. Met one vet wearing a "Tuskegee Airmen" Jacket and talked to him. He went to college in Tuskegee just after they closed the flight school there but he was assigned to the 322 after he received his commission and flight school. Then I met a WWII Marine vet and I told him how I lost an uncle at Iwo. He stated that he was wounded at Iwo but he was in a different than my uncle. But that is the only freebie we took advantage of and that is how it should be not eating for free all day.

Response by MSG(P) Michael Warrick made Nov 12 at 2014 9:42 PM

2014-11-12T21:42:45-05:00

They serve right along with us as they sacrifice too !

Response by CPO Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 12 at 2014 10:44 PM

2014-11-12T22:44:24-05:00

as has been stated previously, if the business is giving away perks to veterans and their spouses, cool. If someone purports to be a spouse in order to "cash in" on what is reserved for someone who actually served or was directly related (spouse), shame on them.
"milking it for all its worth" whether veteran, active, spouse or otherwise, you should have that same hot coffee spilled on your lap with your hands bound behind you...just my thought.

Response by SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 13 at 2014 8:10 AM

2014-11-13T08:10:03-05:00

This picture says it all, and all spouses sharer the burden b of being in the military, the moves, the deployments, the changes, the let-downs, the parties, the promotions, and schools. In some ways it harder for them because they have to do twice as much work if children are involved.

Response by PFC Zanie Young made Nov 15 at 2014 8:06 AM

2014-11-15T08:06:47-05:00

I always pay for my spouse's meals on Veteran's day. She understands that it is meant for the people who served. If most spouses understood that he/she does not get the same entitlements as the SMs and veterans, there would be less spouses who try to wear their spouse's rank and/uniforms and try to use that to their own advantage. Unless, of course, they are SMs themselves.

Response by Cpl Joshua Falgout made Nov 15 at 2014 8:54 AM

2014-11-15T08:54:34-05:00

I think the spouses have had to endure time away from their husband/wife while they are away overseas worrying if they will return home but yet still continuing to keep the house up and kids (if any) fed and off to school and what not. Yes they should deserve some perks. Until divorced!

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 2 at 2014 3:44 PM

2014-12-02T15:44:07-05:00

My Spouse earned her own perks as an Active Duty Veteran.

Response by SGT(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 2 at 2014 5:47 PM

2014-12-02T17:47:25-05:00

My wife generally does not use perks unless it's for the kids (like going to a museum) or something for the house (Lowes discount). I am surprised she did not take full advantage of anything Starbucks offered.

Response by SPC Richard White made Dec 2 at 2014 5:53 PM

2014-12-02T17:53:24-05:00

From what I know on Veterans Day no one offers perks to Spouses.However there are other times when spouses may be offered things due to thier significant other being in the military.

Response by SSG Jim Foreman made Dec 2 at 2014 6:02 PM

2014-12-02T18:02:25-05:00

I'm all for my spouse getting some benefits from my service. She stood beside me through injuries, low pay, moving, and now the disabilities that came from serving. I believe that a married couple serves together. I was good at my job in the Army because she was good at her job at home.

Response by SSG Jim Foreman made Dec 2 at 2014 6:12 PM

2014-12-02T18:12:24-05:00

The post speaks directly to Veterans Day. What about the perks some Companies give veterans every day (Lowes, Home Depot 10% off). Should your spouse get the discount using their dependent id?

Response by PO2 Corey Ferretti made Dec 2 at 2014 6:47 PM

2014-12-02T18:47:10-05:00

The problem i have with spouses is the bad ones are few and far between but man do they like to make a name for them selves like the one above. When i see stuff like this it pisses me off. I think this is because i don't go out and stack up on all the free and discounted stuff that is offered. if i do go out i will go and get a meal if that but make a date out of it with my wife because we don't have the money to always go out.

Response by TSgt Jackie Jones made Dec 2 at 2014 6:59 PM

2014-12-02T18:59:48-05:00

The fact that they said "milk it for all its worth" speaks volumes.

Response by SFC Cindy Paris made Dec 2 at 2014 8:53 PM

2014-12-02T20:53:37-05:00

I will tell you that the "milk it for all it worth" comment is downright offensive. With that said, spouses must hold the family, home, and themselves together while the service member is gone. Yes, they are not being shot at but their actions is what allows the service member to focus on their jobs and not get distracted by family concerns.
I think if a merchant is willing to include the spouses it is great, and they should enjoy that perk as much as the veteran.
However some things should not be given to them. An example is this past Veterans Day, our local Applebee's had thank you cards for veterans from the local grade school kids .. those were for veterans only.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 4 at 2014 7:06 PM

2014-12-04T19:06:48-05:00

I wouldn't limit it to just Active Duty or Veterans, but to our brothers and sisters serving in the reserve component as well. Their sacrifice is just as great as ours. And for the spouses, theirs can be even more demanding than those of us who choose to serve. They keep the familiy going will we are deployed, they have to spend their time worrying if we are going to come back or not. They have a much harder job than we do.

I do agree with MSG Huffman's post about the merchant's choice to honor it or not. Those that are gracious enough to provide any perk to us, we should be grateful for what they do to support us as well.

Response by SPC James Mcneil made Jan 17 at 2015 12:10 PM

2015-01-17T12:10:00-05:00

Sometimes, a business will purposefully extend those perks to the spouse of the veteran. If they do, that's their business. If they don't, that's stealing. Period.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 11 at 2015 8:10 AM

2015-10-11T08:10:23-04:00

Many of our spouses are left behind to take care of everything else while we are deployed. Why shouldn't they get those perks? When a Soldier, sailor, airman, or marine, leaves home, and leave their families behind, they are left to deal with everything else. Many do a great job and others struggle. Either way, my answer is YES!! give them the same perks we get.

Response by SGT Jerrold Pesz made Oct 14 at 2015 9:58 PM

2015-10-14T21:58:27-04:00

I didn't know that it was Veteran's Day. Guess that I missed out on the freebies. lol

Response by PO3 Donald Murphy made Mar 13 at 2017 3:56 PM

2017-03-13T15:56:33-04:00

Without knowing the woman/dependent, its hard to realistically have an opinion. I'm the type of person that will go to the doctor and post "pray that I don't get killed" as my status, leaving those who don't know me to think that (a) I'm really in danger (b) or that my doctors aren't that good. And that stems from a dependent episode I had in my teens when an overzealous AF doctor mis-diagnosed me with "trigger finger" (I actually had a broken finger) until my dad mentioned that although I had a moustache I was not in fact an SP... So "getting killed at the hospital" has been an in-joke with my family and friends.

"Milk it for all its worth" could mean, use Starbucks as much as possible because the discounts are about to go away. Similar exhortations came out right before TriCare stopped using CVS in favor of Walgreens and we were exhorted to fill up all pending rx's as soon as possible as CVS was "going away." So without knowing the drinker, it's hard to pass judgement. My personal Starbucks has an "on-again/off-again" military discount relationship so the post could be taken a number of ways in all honesty.

Also, keep in mind that "veteran's perks" or "benefits" are largely at the discretion of the vendor. If a business decides to offer said discount to the dependent, then that's up to them. Who are we to tell them that only the service member should have it? Its their benefit, right? Case in point would be my local Applebee's. There are two in my city and one offers military discount all year round and the other only on vets day/mem day. Guess why? There are some vendors in my town that offer a mil discount to the military person only and others that do it for any dependent whether the military person is there or not. Again, that's a business decision.

Response by Sgt Joseph Baker made Mar 15 at 2017 10:51 PM

2017-03-15T22:51:27-04:00

Because of all the vets in our family, my wife and daughter offer a 20% discount at their business, Rustic Redemption for vets and spouses. They feel sacrifice is a team sport in military families. Since what they sell includes a lot of furniture and home decor stuff, what spouses buy benefits the whole family anyway. But that is their decision as a business.

Response by Sgt Joseph Baker made Mar 15 at 2017 10:57 PM

2017-03-15T22:57:46-04:00

This posting brings up an important topic for veterans. Most banks will tell veterans that the VA doesn't do home construction loans. They either convince veterans they have to give up building their dream home and buy a spec house, or they coerce the veteran into a commercial loan. It's a lie. They just don't make enough profit on the veterans construction loan. According to the VA website they do construction loans for veterans. You just have to go on the internet and do some searching to find brokers that will do a construction loan for veterans. I am presently beginning construction process of a new home at 50 years old I'm finally able to use my VA benefits.

Response by Cpl Tom Surdi made Mar 16 at 2017 4:19 PM

2017-03-16T16:19:38-04:00

Spouses of active duty military should be able to enjoy all of the perks, they earned it. They also have to deal with the long hours and deployments Veteran spouses on the other hand, should only get some of the perks.

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 16 at 2017 8:12 PM

2017-03-16T20:12:10-04:00

If a business wants to give back to military spouses that's fine. But they certainly shouldn't be entitled to anything meant for members themselves.

Response by SGM Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 16 at 2017 9:13 PM

2017-03-16T21:13:28-04:00

Well a spouses discount is also the veterans discount . Doesn't it save the family's money in the long run. If the person or company giving the discounts doesn't mind, then thanks you for supporting the military family as a whole.

Response by SGT Alejandro Benavides made Mar 16 at 2017 11:02 PM

2017-03-16T23:02:05-04:00

Why not? The money my wife uses is my money. So if she gets a discount, that means I get a discount, which means I can stay home enjoying retired veteran things like drinking beer and playing video games

Response by SGT Randall Smith made May 16 at 2017 12:24 PM

2017-05-16T12:24:02-04:00

We get funny looks sometimes but my wife and I both get Veteran discounts. Our drivers licenses both have Veteran on them. I qualified by serving in Viet Nam, my wife qualified by serving in Desert Storm. When she went overseas I stayed home with two small children. It made me understand what my mom went through when my dad was deployed. There were 4 of us boys and dad retired when I was 19.

Response by PFC Jennifer Gottschalk made Feb 7 at 2018 9:00 PM

2018-02-07T21:00:41-05:00

A perk that would benefit the family is ok. Like a Home Depot or Lowe's, because that would benefit the veteran. But meals and ECT. Should be veteran only.

Response by Angela Hawks made Feb 8 at 2018 8:35 AM

2018-02-08T08:35:31-05:00

Nope, won't do it and never have. It is disrespectful of military. I have gone through 21 years of spouses trying to be more important because of their husband/wifes rank. It has nothing to do with them and I tell them. It did not make me well liked.

Response by SGT Eric Davis made Feb 8 at 2018 3:48 PM

2018-02-08T15:48:36-05:00

Nothing wrong with them getting the “perks” of being the spouse cause they aren’t claiming to be the vet and the venders know that they are spouses. So if the bender choose to give all their food away for free what can we do about it. The only thing that bothers me is the caption “milk it for all it’s worth” Shows no class!!

Response by SPC David Willis made Feb 8 at 2018 4:48 PM

2018-02-08T16:48:01-05:00

I never understand why people block out pictures and names from social media accounts. I mean they put it up there clearly wanting folks to see it and react to it... own it!

Response by Dani Floyd made Feb 8 at 2018 4:48 PM

2018-02-08T16:48:47-05:00

I have been a “part” of the military my whole 41 years of life. First as a dependent of my dad who was in the Navy to being the wife of a marine. I can honestly say in all my marriage I have never used any of the free “perks”. On Veterans Day if my husband wants to go eat I tell him to go with other marines. On the occasion I have gone I have always made sure we have paid for my meal.
When I married my husband I knew EXACTLY what that included. As a wife and mother whether my husband is home or deployed I take care of our home, so in essence I sacrifice nothing, he sacrifices his home, family, clean linens, warm meals etc. I don’t deserve ANYTHING for all our military members sacrifices, because I have all the “luxuries” afforded to me because of them.

Response by Elizabeth Anderson made Feb 16 at 2018 12:04 AM

2018-02-16T00:04:26-05:00

Most women that do this are wives that married after active duty, and are more moto than boot camp fiancés .

Response by Linda Keltner made Feb 20 at 2018 9:28 PM

2018-02-20T21:28:44-05:00

If the business offers perks to spouses, I accept.